 What are you now, like, bi? What are you now, like, pan? What are you now? I'm like, why does there need to be a label for her right now? I'm officially going on my first lady LGBTQ plus date. Don't call it that. This is all my selfishness. It's for my well-being, and you could just literally be a beautiful prom. Mm-hmm. I got you. Well, get me there. Welcome to the Harlem After Show. Yes, season two has arrived, and episode one and two are out right now, ready for you to stream only on Prime. Now, if you're not familiar, Harlem is a bold comedy following four, smart, hilarious, stylish, and ambitious best girlfriends, Megan Good, Grace Byers, Shanika Shandai, Jerry Johnson, plus it has Tyler Leppley, plus plus guest stars like Poppy Goldberg, Lil Rel, and Jasmine Guy, two name a few. Trust me, if you love capital B black women and love to see black women's range, run to the link below to watch Harlem's episodes. They drop on Fridays and are available only on Prime. This is the After Show, but you'll also be here on Fridays. Black Joy is the ending theme, but truly, when you think about it, it's the theme of the entire season. What does that mean to each of you? Black Joy, for me, is walking in my authenticity unapologetically, and just pursuing purpose and being in my skin and loving all of it and just being authentic. Okay, without further ado, let's get to the topics from those episodes with the most guests. I just never expected to have these feelings for Isabella, and I feel ready. What if I don't know what to do sexually with Isabella? Just making sexy. You knew what to do the first time you were with a guy. Yeah, but I don't think I was very good at it. Quinn, don't say that. No, I mean, like he literally said, please just stop, you're not very good at this. Oh yeah, that doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for interpretation. Just do what you do when you masturbate, except on her. Exactly the same. Yeah, girl. So make Isabella watch Shamar more in old criminal minds episodes? What? Girl, since I'm with a woman now, does that mean that I'm still allowed to like Shamar? Are you queer, a lesbian, or even bisexual? If like Quinn, you've only had a romantic or sexual experience with one person who shares the same sex as you. Truth is, the only person who can accurately answer this is you, because I believe the I in identity stands for this is how I feel and how I want to be identified as. But of course, it's not always this binary since yes, identity is a name card, but it's also a cue where outward physical appearance, biological makeup, and social identity also play a role in your identity experience. But when it comes to sexual orientation, a person's erotic attraction towards members of their own sex or a different sex, I think your opinion is the only one that really counts. Debate me if you want to. I think the labeling part was not fun for Quinn. Yes. Like I could feel on her behalf, I was like, stop putting labels on, you know? And I think it's because of the fact that sometimes you just need room to breathe, you know? And so it's like, you know, like people continuously in her life wanting to be like, so what are you now like by? What are you now like pan? What are you now? I'm like, why does there need to be a label for her right now? Why can't it be exactly what it is, which is she was never attracted to women before. Now she's attracted to this woman. What does that mean for Quinn? Quinn still needs to see if she's attracted to women after this. It could just be this woman. We don't know, you know what I mean? And so like, what does that mean? And so is that like an experience that you label? Like did Quinn have a pansexual experience? So until Quinn gets to understand who she is as a person and how that reflects and expresses in other areas of her life, please, can you lay off the label? The Quinn scenario is a very interesting and also very common one that deserves discussion. So let's start the discussion here. What exactly is love? When asked this question, Dr. Helen Fisher, the most referenced scholar on the science of love and attraction said, we have evolved three distinctive brain systems which evolved for very different reasons. One is the sex drive. Second is feelings of intense romantic love. And the third is feelings of deep attachment. So if that didn't really hit you, let's look at this a different way. The common sequence for romantic slash sexual relationship is that it progresses from sex drive, AKA sexual attraction, then love drive, AKA I intensely like this person and want to meet more than their sexual needs. And then lastly, two deep connection. Now, if we mix this up, it is easy to see how good friends could fall into unexpected lovers or how unexpected sexual attraction doesn't necessarily mean that a romantic connection or a deep bond will follow. Hence why it is reasonable for a by and large straight person to have a once in a blue moon queer experience or for a once in a blue moon queer experience to open a straight person's mind about the other ways that are possible for them to form connections with others. Now I want to bring in some friends to further this discussion. Allow me to introduce the gentleman from Enjoy the Podcast. Well, the podcast formerly known as Enjoy the Podcast. How do you guys feel about being used just for sex? Love doing when I was younger, not so much now. All right, I wanna play a scene from the show right now. I wanna get your guys honest reaction to it. All right. Thank you for making me the luckiest girl in New York. I like you, I like you too. He my man, he my boo, he my type. He's so cute, I want him and I want him too. I like- I'm my maness. And who might this be? It's my roommate, Jacqueline. Yep. I'm Jacqueline. Hello, Jacqueline. I'm Angie. You know, I was just telling Kendrick earlier about my twin sister. You were? Yes, remember in the taxi, what? You need to listen to women more. Anyway, I have an awesome twin sister and I know she would love to meet you. I mean, is she anything like you? I wanna been here in the last few hours. It sounds like you'd like to have a good time. That's true. Don't be creepy, T'quan. T'quan's not creepy. He's not. And he is gonna love my equally, not creepy twin sister. I've never quite seen a woman use their sexuality with a different motivation outside of like- Sex or money. Yeah. Or even money. You see that slightly in some of the shows, but just like this is all for me. This is all my selfishness. It's for my well-being and you could just literally be a beautiful prop. And that there's no shame around it either. That she's not like contemplating like, how is this gonna look that now I wanna fuck his friend or whatever. You know, the whole like body count thing. Yes. The slut shaming and the respectability politics that doesn't exist. It's just about like what she wants in the moment. You know, that's not a bad move. I might have to use that one. I got twin brother. Yeah. I've never seen that. Yeah, you know what? I'm a karma twin. He's gonna be back about 15, 20 minutes. I gotta leave. He's gonna come back. No worries. Be right back with you. How would you feel if you were the original dude she had sex with? Hurt. I'd be a little like hurt. I'd be a little like- Yeah, the only reason like I would feel a certain type of way about that is like if I was really trying to like create a relationship with that person. Like if I wanted more out of this situation then I'd be hurt. But if I don't care, if I'm just trying to do that too, yeah, use me. I'm gonna use you too. You used me for sex from the beginning. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Get real. I was so, I was so okay with it. And I knew that if I started stepping up in life that if I'm good at sex and I'm good at life you're probably gonna wanna be in a relationship with me. So if I wanted more, use me as sex. Don't worry, baby, I'm gonna get it all together. And one day you gonna be like, man, he's good at sex and he got it all together. And he can put us in drinks. So I'm totally fine with it, you know? So that's just me. There's nothing that hits your ego where it's like, damn, you don't think I have anything else to offer? No. It does for me. Yeah, I got an issue with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ego's fragile, right, for us. So for me it's- He's a sensitive one, man. I'm for sure sensitive. I'm for sure sensitive. But for me- I'm with 2JD, I'm with 2JD, yeah. For me, it's like to your point, I have more to offer. And if this is just a transactional thing, where I'm at in my life now, it's the lowest point when I was younger, no problem. But where I'm at now, it's like, there's gotta be more to this, so I'm gonna put time and effort in. And especially with that type of connection, you know how I feel about sex. We talked about this, it's like the avatar moment, right, as I always say. So we connect there and then that's it? Nah. Okay, rapid fire question time. Does anybody here have a small penis? No. Well, if we're going based off of the average, what the world says the average is, my answer is no. Okay. Do you know anybody who identifies with having a small penis? Have you ever seen a small dick before? Well, ain't nobody gonna tell you, they ain't gonna come out here and say, I got a small penis. Everybody will say- I mean, I've been in locker rooms. I played football my whole life. I ain't never getting made fun of. That's all I'm gonna say. But I wasn't like, yo, Jared over there, he's- Jared has to shower with a towel on. That's why he never got made fun of. No he didn't. He should shower at home. I gotta go guys, I gotta go. It's obviously a very sensitive topic. Let's talk about small dicks more. Yeah. Dude, was this small? No. No way. Not an exaggeration. So what were the Harlem skills? Drying out my pussy. Oh my God. But you didn't say anything, right? You didn't write a mean review about him or anything because you're a nice person and because you were worried about his feelings. Brother, micro penis. I'm never going to enjoy your peanut packing ass. Is the problem micro penis or macro pussy? Because I never had a complaint. To your face. We feel bad telling men we do not want to be mean. Those big ass hands and big feet, they are just false advertising. Decides matter. The new age sex positive answer is no, it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. And there's some truth to this. Since one, being a proficient handy person who hammers what needs hammering and wrenches what needs wrenching, drills what needs drilling and smooths exactly what needs smoothing is way more impactful than simply owning a very big tool. Two, two thirds of people with vaginas orgasm mainly from outer clitoral stimulation. So although most call oral and hand stimulation foreplay for two thirds, it is core play. And the penis is the eggplant or cherry on top. Three, even if a person does get off or really value penetration, the G region, the most commonly referenced sensitive area in the vagina is two to three inches up, which the vast majority of small dicks are tall enough for that ride. Now we can end this conversation here. This is the sex positive answer after all but it is necessarily the all the way factual honest answer. Since function aside, some people like the art of a big dick. And I say art because on the surface this has no function but the look of it and how it makes you feel because of its look can be a very big deal for some. So you may have already guessed this but the only way to answer the question does size matter is with another question. Does size matter to you today? And on that note, let's end things off, chode and sweet. Many women actually prefer small dicks because sex is less painful. You can finally deep throat like a pro. People with small dicks tend to work smarter and dare I say harder overall when it comes to end to end sex. Why does talking about size matter? It's an important conversation to be clear. Angie and Ty ad-lib that part. That was not in the script. We just started talking about who you think is bigger. Back and forth and they kept it. And I was like, wow. But I think honestly, I want to see as many penises on screen as I see boobs. Like I just wanted to be like, oh, there's a dick, there's a dick, there's a dick. Everywhere. Everywhere, dick, dick. Oh my god, I'm on a dick farm. Jerry. But that would also take away this whole mystery because we all have to pretend that everybody's big because people have so few points of comparison. So if there was more penises on TV, this would just really make this whole conversation so much less awkward. Yeah, right? I think it's really important to know what pleases women. It's been so taboo for us to talk about our sexuality. Women have gone in relationships and not have orgasms and faking it is so normalized. So I think the more we can talk about what pleases us, the more that we can have those discussions, I think it just makes for a healthier sex life. Right. 100. And I love what you said too in the show, your character said, we don't want to be mean. That's why we don't say these things. But I think if we can just be honest, then the conversation can go further because small dicks are amazing for so many things. Yeah. That's the end of our after show. Shout out to everybody who took part. If you want to follow anybody, make sure you go down below. You can find their information. Also, that top link is the most important one. That is how you directly go to prime to make sure that you can watch Harlem next week. New episodes drop on Friday, two at a time. And every time they drop episodes, we will be dropping an after show. So we hope to see you back here. Same bat time, same bat channel. And in the meantime, let's get to the comment section. We covered a lot here. So what do you think? Your turn. God will not give us more than we can have. I'm staying in New York. I have to be kidding me.