 I know I don't like hookup culture because I've done it. Please don't do something you don't want to do What's your favorite drug you've ever done? Yeah, but I don't do drugs. I don't know there. I'm still looking either I was having an answer Yeah, just on a day-to-day basis. Yeah, she clearly loves it. Anyways, I do feel like my personality is coming back guys But it's like that she talks down. It's like my personality. Yeah, entirely tenor. The character development that you had in this past year Oh, yeah, mine. I just say it's incredible. I haven't finally getting it checked off. She used to have a PhD maturity Okay, do you know what that means? Yeah, I do but like I have to get linked to that too Yeah, the beginning of chit-chat was a lot of dancing and I like I still don't give a shit about that But also I don't have a word. I don't have a repetitive sense of humor in the sense Like I don't like watching the same thing over and over and I think it's money a and B I was like by the end of before I got to check I was like I spent my screen time was like ten hours a day Like I just don't need to be spending more time on my phone I knew I would get addicted as soon as I got it once it got to the space that it's in now But then I just thought of any way and now my screen time's actually gone down I'm at average six hours and 12 minutes last week, which is so low to me. I like have a problem I have no idea that you have that bad. It's because I'm like a It's because I'm like a Twitter scroller. Okay, like I could scroll through there That is something I do know about you because I like go through like I like only radical reddit stuff Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're a reddit girl. No, but like it's same concept. Okay before we continue on their conversation I do want to say I'm starting a new series and I said drinking with Kinsey Jessica said cocktails with Kinsey with a K I think that's cute. Yeah, I mean you could also do with the state doesn't have to necessarily be K But I can't really sounds better. You know, I know I couldn't agree more You work up the title in the comments below. I'll have friends over we're gonna answer some questions I also get a lot of questions from you guys to have like normal people on my stuff Well by normal I mean like people who would say just don't share their entire lives on the internet You're normal I just do it for you. I have this theory that people who say that just like what I call themselves Because like they're like we want I want like a normal account if you were set to wait It does this and this and I'm like look at their bio and it's like No one who works at a toy Get a Dominic on I've never called on You're probably my own right now, I know three years and whatever here, but who's that anyways We're gonna keep ranch waters tonight And I just want to apologize on behalf of myself in the state of Texas because there is a severe shortage of topo Chico's of regular soda ones. They have like the twisted tangerine, which like I think is gross So in ranch water, I get asked this all the time It's not a tequila soda because what it truly is is we all go to kill a lot of tequila topo Chico lime juice lime. There you go. That's what a ranch water is so Like tequila soda all but not the same thing, okay? It's kind of like a square in a breath table like one can be the other the other I can't you know what I mean? So anyways, it's like a Texas drink every bar here knows it you go I'll say you can't you can't you can't you can't sometimes there are some bars And I'm sure they do it but like for the most part you can't order them. Yeah when I was in Florida I was like trying to do the best drink to get at the bars. No, I think that's I love them But like here's the thing about ranch water if you have had it and you hate it You probably got a bad one. Oh, yeah, and it is really easy to make about I will say that's there Um, if you live in Dallas happy sour, I will say has incredible ranch waters I will say they used to kid like serve them in the topo cheap. Yeah, I haven't remained and now I have them in this So I feel a little bit gypped but anyways, we're gonna start our drinks. We're gonna be answering some questions I'm having Jessica on today because she's my co-founder of the okay our new clothing company wearing the Dallas stuff right now So cute so Jessica right with the pants on so sorry you're also included in that Um, it's available now at lunch today So the dial set is available the totes available. Please go shop. So we don't cry ourselves to sleep Also, our both of our podcasts came out today. Yeah Thursday We answered all sorts of questions some kind of juicy questions on Kensi's podcast really answered some like yeah What's happening questions? Well, we tell you also one we tell you exactly how much it costs to start and then two We I go it's not really all about the business. It's more of like my Extreme fear failure that I've realized that I have yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna start by making some drinks. I'm gonna give you a little sneak peek So cute right why you know what I would kill to be on top of chicken's PR list Do that a thing do people get people? Yeah, I'm sure some people do you really why not me? I don't know. Actually, it's kind of expensive. It'd be nice to cut that cost. Yeah, I'm right There's a lot of questions about handling a friendship breakup and then also just handling like growing apart from friends Especially in college. It's like a case-by-case situation like yeah I don't think there's like one blanket answer for that Like I think like sometimes like distance is what makes you guys grow apart and that just kind of happens really naturally But like if you're like in this still in the same space, but like you're just like in different phases of life Like again, I think those things kind of happen naturally And if it comes up in conversation that your friends like hey like I feel like we're not, you know hanging out as much Whatever you can kind of just be like listen like it's totally not intentional But I'm still like we don't have the same interests right now So like I know we still both like doing X and why don't we make workout classes our thing when you have a plan Like make people like less innately like clingy I think because when you have a set that okay, we're gonna do like Monday Wednesdays We have like our Pilates in the morning because like that's the one thing we like doing together still But then it's like the rest of your life is still separate Like it then maybe eventually you guys stop doing workout classes together and that really is only like an hour every day So it's not that much anyway But yeah, it's like find a commonality between the two of you and if there isn't one like I feel like you would Mutually not want to be friends. So like you would think that also it's totally normal Like I think I have this issue where I don't like change a relationship So I would like to stay friends with every single person that I've ever met my entire life forever And that also holding back big time a lot of people that I hung out with in college We had a lot in common when I was in college But like naturally I you change a lot and you're not the same anymore And like I really don't have anything in common with some of the people that like I loved dearly from college Yeah, yeah, like we have different lives now like we just have grown apart and like it's just kind of how it is It's just different, but I would say this is a really common Topic I think that's even talked about like between like my friends of like you Postgrad and then you also naturally often times like So next thing is next we have to we're gonna rim these with like um a Taheen-ish sort of it's like a chili powder because I don't have to heat right now I don't know where I left it moving to a new state top three tips to feel confident Um some of you may know I moved to Dallas in September 2021 just like almost six months ago crazy Obviously moved here and I knew Kenzie so that I didn't know one person so I didn't really I was like starting off with nothing I feel like mostly but we'll actually know some people do just yeah Especially if you like postgraduate a new job like sometimes it's just you know, you don't know anybody Yeah, um, I would say like to feel was it to feel comfortable confident I would say Solidify your routine the fuck don't be afraid like I think it's important to like find your coffee shop find your thing Like find your grocery store like those things sound kind of dumb But like those things from here like I like I love the whole foods that I go to I like that I know where everything is like every like Monday and Thursday when I go to the grocery store like I like that's my place and like I go to Lollipop or I get a matcha like there is Routine in my life, and I like having things like that Better consistent, and I would say like find your workout class to find your things and then obviously you're probably not gonna like me You're why friends in the grocery store, but even if you're not meeting people there I think it like builds confidence like this is your place Because when you don't have a thing that's your own like I think it can feel like overwet me But like once you realize like cities aren't like are only as big as you like make them You know like it doesn't have to be this quick There's a thousand places I could be going like find your place like find your what you enjoy What you want to be around and then did the rest kind of I think will follow from that as for making friends in a new city I Don't know what I Mostly hang out with Kenzie and her friends because I'm like but I think that's advice like you make one friend And then you meet them through that you look you just got lucky because you like my friend Yeah, that's true. Also. I think I'm just listening to relax my friends are the best That's true. Tanks just did a podcast and she was talking about Good people know good people. Yeah, and so you find one good person like one good co-worker And you're like hey like do you have girlfriends like can we all go out like can I hang out with you guys like kind of I like this thing is like if you live by with one of your co-workers Like I don't think it's weird to be if someone came out to me and we're like hey Can I hang out with you and your friends? I think oh my god great like another person that you enjoy Because you know when you guys especially in post-grad because like there's not one person who like doesn't really want new friends Yeah, I really know like especially if you guys are getting along well like why would they not want to hang out with you? Yeah Okay, these look so cute guys. They look really good. Let me get a cute little pic really quick Um, I love this for us insert yourself Especially I think I'm like you'll know you vibe with someone so like yes, you feel like you're not five and don't do that But like well the other thing too like when I moved to LA It's like yes I did know a lot of people but like the people that I ended up hanging out with were not the people I knew when I originally moved and I would meet I met like probably I met so many different people Before Really finding like my group there Yeah, and I think you meet one person and then you meet another person do that and then you meet another person Yeah, I'm in like naturally you just keep going and going and then eventually you're gonna find your group of people Someone told me this too and this is specifically about LA and I actually couldn't agree more And I think maybe times are different for people But you know first week you're moving somewhere Up to like LA to a place you really like wanted to move to Is your honeymoon year? So you're like doing all the things for the first time second year You hate it because you're like what am I doing and the newness has worn off Third year is when you've like found your people and made it your home Okay, and I think that's a lot of people's like phases of anything new so it's important to keep in mind You know fair. Yeah, we did cheers cheers to the okay. Please bye. Thank you. Make eye contact I'm so sorry. Okay. Um also so many questions about how to make friends in new cities I'm joined by Geneva chat. I'm not kidding people actually make friends there How often join the people who met in the Geneva chat? I meet people who met in Geneva Exactly like it's not weird join the Geneva chat. I added so many new cities yesterday Oh, you're definitely not weird No, it's not great at all and there's so many cities like join it That's uh basically a big group chat We have one home and then a bunch of different rooms and girls in different cities You guys need to join it and you will make friends. You have something in common Which is me but like more than that if you follow me, we probably have something in common Oh, yeah, you know what I'm interested in so it's like everyone has something in common Yeah, and everyone we met is so cool. Yes Yes, I agree. I hide my friends up to chase their dreams, but I don't get the same energy to myself help. Um Okay, well, I think that that's maybe like a little bit of a Like a deeper thing than just like you're not hyping yourself up because like you want Like you want to have like you want to be secure like in yourself and like Smew yourself way you do your friends Like if you think your friends like deserve that sort of hype like if you're not getting yourself It's probably because like subconsciously you don't think that you deserve it Something that I do something I practice daily is affirmations It sounds so stupid and you give like three affirmations. Yeah, I was gonna say like um I say like I'm like I'm worthy of like love and compassion from other people like I am smart and I am Love and I've tend that I like great and I write them down every single day because I like I struggle really badly with anxiety and I like having things that that's like a very grounding Technique for me and something that like just works really well. So I will do that in the morning I write them down in my journal. I write the same 10 down 10 affirmations. I have 10 manifestations that I write down Um, but you want to like validate yourself and I think that like because I struggle with this too I'm so quick to hype other people up like my friends my sisters like I'm literally their biggest cheerleader But there are times where I'm like I'm not giving myself the same energy So I feel you but like you have to it sounds cheesy like you have to like Make it a really like a point to like look at yourself and be like and say all those nice things that you would Say to someone else to yourself because even if you don't believe them at first like you eventually will like It just becomes practice like it like the more you say it out loud The more you feel it how to be the ultimate brevity housewife It's my friend's birthday coming up and I wanted to make her a brevity housewife. Okay. Um, obviously brevity housewife merch That's great. What a nice friend. I know. What a nice friend Someone's hitting me a brevity housewife. That is such a good idea. I'm trying to think okay Like it depends if she's a drinker or like likes to host I think the best thing you can do is get like a cute mixer or cute bar wear Oh, you know what don't actually gotten these for Christmas like last year. Oh cute oven. They're so incredible. What are they 5 2? I love the fact is a 52 or 52. Uh, yeah food 52. That's target. Oh, just this is Nordstrom. Oh, yeah Yeah, I don't know why I'm liking on this anyways. I love these though Like they're really kind of a myth or a cute like serving board You have to think about what they're gonna be using when they're serving but ultimately obviously brevity housewife merch A lot of stuff is sold out. We restocked a pink crew, but um, we have like the hats and like certain things from certain vendors How to make friends who are truly rooting for you. You know what I'm thinking about this I would have always said that I have friends who are really supportive and I think online I've had friends who are incredibly supportive But I don't know if it's just that like my friends now are the most supportive people in the entire world Like literally flying out to my new york show. Yeah, I would say maybe between like at a certain age You know that I wouldn't have felt that way. Yeah, um, but I think How to make friends who are truly rooting for you John I recorded with a friendship coach once and it was so interesting She said there was some study and of the top qualities that a good friend can have it's self-confidence Like the number one. Yeah, which is so interesting But also so true because that solves all of like cleanest problems all your children are like secure Yes, pettiness drama Jealousy and I think everyone has like some sort of jealousy to an extent But like it just depends on how you act on it and like I don't think that like I wouldn't say I'm an incredibly jealous person. I say that because I recorded with this girl Who's talking about how that we demonize the emotion of jealousy and then I was like she actually won me over with the argument I think you just have to find people who are Securing themselves. Yeah, I think also like you have like that's it's like people say this all the time And you have to be the type of friend you want to have like you can't like Expect your friends to be acting some type of way when you're not acting that type of way And I think also like some things aren't as like like you would realize when like you didn't have supportive friends Yeah, right like your friends are probably more supportive than you think I guess what I'm trying to say like once you once those people type people aren't around You'd be like wow I really didn't have such supportive friends and you kind of have to like count the little things and like the support Doesn't necessarily mean like like texting you all the time I'm so proud of you. It's like showing up when you'd like like showing up someone's house and having a coffee Like remembering things about them like and also just remembering that like that goes to like love languages Like some people show things differently. So and we talk to your friends about it If you feel like your friends are being supportive just be like hey like I had this thing It really hurt like I had this event or I had this really cool thing I got this promotion and I really I told you guys that I really feel like you weren't like Like let's go celebrate with drinks like it doesn't have to be something like that But feeling I wanted some sort of response and I didn't get one that really hurt my feelings Like I feel like if the roles are reversed and why you guys said that to me I would have responded in that sort of way I just think communication like it's just a key to like literally everything I think literally being like I'm an incredibly blood blood person I think that I like and maybe like a little bit too vocal about the way that I feel But I would rather be more vocal about the way that I feel than not vocal enough Because like when I like someone someone doesn't like rise me the wrong way or whatever Like I would let them know just because like I don't think it's hot Like then you're just stewing and like some sort of emotion about it And you don't want to like stew it your friends. They're not supportive They don't like me like if you just tell them like oh my god I'm so sorry that obviously wasn't our intention like yeah, like let's go do something Let's go celebrate or like next time something like this happens will be better Like I just think that you ought to communicate that because maybe they just have no idea You know I look maybe they just don't know that that's how you're feeling Yeah People aren't mind readers like it's it's it's unfortunately Yeah, and like I know everyone we wish that people were but and it's kind of hard to talk about your feelings That seems like an awkward thing to bring up But sooner that then stew would not and be mad at your friends or something I make sure you're also celebrating your friends like if you want that you need to give that too But if you know anything about the enneagram, I'm a threwing too So I am the achiever and the supporter So I'm going to overachieve that I want to help all my friends overachieve What I've noticed with myself though is that I definitely like really believe in myself and I'm like I can do it And I definitely have confidence to go after things obviously like I've I've done stuff However, I do I have some like scarcity mindset that I've noticed of like oh well like they can do that But like I couldn't do that like there's not room for you. Yeah, there's not room for me Like I'm more supportive or I'm like, oh my friends could do that But like I couldn't do that When also like actually just like statistic like numbers wise it doesn't even make sense But like I definitely think that like other people can do it for whatever reason I'm either not deserving or just not gonna happen in my life or because I've had harder things happen They're just gonna continue to happen. They're not gonna happen other people like things like that. So, um, you know, my my answer is therapy I think that's typically is a confidence thing. Yeah, I agree Um and like self-worth thing like you have to believe that you were deserving I never go on dates slash talk to guys. I feel like I'm not doing my 20s, right? Welcome to club I don't do that either to be clear Like I don't do that either. It's just it's rough out here Okay, I don't know if you're saying like you like you don't want to be and because I think what she said was like I let him do my 20s wrong. So like if you don't want to Please don't do something you don't want to do like no matter like what you feel like is right or wrong like I feel this Well, I feel like I say this to all the time. I feel like I'm wrong We're like everyone it's like thinks it's like I'm so weird because I just don't want to but I've just done it Like and it's not how I have never do it again, but I'm like I just see how much happier I am personally Yeah, not dating someone and granted like obviously I'm not dating the right people but like I definitely feel Yeah, like that type of way like I feel like I'm like I definitely feel like I'm the weird one Yeah, yeah, I think that like it's just because of culture like dating culture with the culture It's like it's just huge right now I appreciate the off I think for a while like it was kind of taboo for girls to talk about like hook up and dating culture Yeah, and I think like take talking stuff like a lot in social media in general So I normalized it which it should be normalized But now it's kind of like meaning the direction of like If you go culture is old is the only way to do it and that's also not true or like dating Like you don't like you don't have to do anything you don't want to do And I think that like find things that you enjoy doing and like you just have to be like secure in those decisions I feel like it's self-confidence and security is just kind of like the key to like most of these things because When you feel uncertain about like the like the way you're behaving or feelings that you're having It's probably just because you're not confident in your decisions And like you if something's making you feel good like you feel good in the space that you're in Don't change that because like the like culture like because culture is telling you to do something different This is probably the one thing that I like second-guess what myself really yeah Because it's the thing that I think about the most of like am I wrong like because I don't like and I was talking Strong about this the other day it's like it's I know I don't like hook up culture because I've done it Like it's just not but like I don't dislike hook up culture as a whole I don't like it myself for my yeah But like whatever everyone else I don't care But I do feel weird like I just because I'm not really like for taking in it right right right And like that's definitely like not the normal thing But then I'm like I I always think about with myself when I'm like spiraling in this Like if a friend came to me and said this I would be like then just don't do it Who cares like I would like that's so not a big deal. Yeah at all But um, I feel that way sometimes too, but I just don't think that I don't know. I think you just have to like really do what you want to do Yeah, I think it's like a good point to say like what would you say to your friend? Who would say the same thing to you and you'd be like, why do you give a fuck about whatever it was like also easier So I've been done like I totally get that yes, and it's not I'm saying like oh my god I think it's horrible. The reason I know I don't like for myself because I've done it like it's not like I'm not against it at all It's not it's just like yeah, like for me. I just don't like it like I don't know Yeah, I think that's totally fair. Just like you have to be secure whenever decision you make and whatever decision you make should make you feel Happy and and I would say this is like the power that he's secure in my life Yeah, it's like not my decision, but like I just know that it's like So I made this video where I like turned on into a texan and they want me to recreate it with you But the thing is you already like country like you like a lot of things I would just have to take you I would have to do like simple life with you Like you need to go on a farm like mean or something So we'll get on to that being more confident and meeting men So this isn't something that I am that I feel and if someone send me a tip It's like I don't really oh, I think again I think all this is just like general security you have to have because like yeah when you look like I think about They're probably nervous to meet you think yeah, I would refer to tanks reverse box theory Um, it shouldn't be about you know, how do you feel about them or how do they feel about you? How do you feel about them? Yeah, that's true. Stop giving men so much power like they have enough power on this world They don't need you to give them more. That's very true. Like it's it's just not that easier to have than that also like I I'm not saying it like I I am Quick to practice But it's really have to keep reminding ourselves like we're hot shit like all of us collectively as women like We're badass is like we Like deserve to be in the positions that we're in and if you're like fully confident in that about yourself Or like at least like fake it so you make it, you know If you're not feeling that like walk into a situation where you're like Even if I don't totally believe this to be true Like I'm pretending that it is and I think like then you just kind of like you're lucky It's like it makes it easier to walk in that but that was my tips Have a deal with constant final interview rejections as a soon-to-be graduate. Oh I can't tell you guys how many interviews I've gone on in the past six months And I still don't have a job and I have a bachelor's degree. I'm fully qualified You guys it's just it's not us. It's them. It's the market. It's the job situation right now I promise it's probably not you and I would say like I'm finding peace in the fact that people around me are still You know being like you like the good things coming You know like but also you just it's really it's not you like the situations are like I can't even tell you the places I've got rejected from like It's not you postcard life is so hard in so many spaces But I think like jobs it's like it feels scary because like it's your first like Thing that's like yours in adulthood like Yeah, and so it getting rejected or like it just it's a huge huge huge ego bruise Because it's like this is your first and it's kind of like yours and then it's like no no no no no And it hurts really bad And I think it's just kind of like you just have to realize like think about how many people are graduating right now And are applying for the same job as you it's so not about you as a person or your personality or your qualifications Like it's and also like I hate to say this but like jobs right now We're like 99% of just like it's networking and people that you know And even in like I'm in spaces where I'm like I like my dad works in business So if I've gotten connects and had interviews and I'm still getting rejected and it's like so there's really like it is It's just it's such a numbers game and a lot of companies are Downsizing a lot of companies that had to take like people have to take major pay cuts Like a lot of stuff is still going on post COVID that companies are just kind of like getting their foot in again So I think that like don't take it personally and also like make sure that you're like Just like being yourself because like the the best like the thing that I like Find peace in is like if they don't like me like that just sucks. Well, it doesn't even have to be Yeah, I mean like they're lost but it doesn't have to be they don't like you like I actually think to say about that's the first thing when I think about rejection Like rejection is obviously never fun, but you think about it in the way of like let's say you are auditioning for a play All right, it doesn't matter how talented you are and how good you are Let's say they're looking for a five foot four girl with Pale skin and dark hair and you're looking for like a whatever They're looking for like a specific type to fill a specific role right not that like jobs You're looking for like appearances, but like sometimes they are looking for The most random thing that someone just fits into better and like they just fit into it like the business culture better Whatever, it doesn't mean it's really they're better or worse than you It's just like you could be not what they're looking for. It doesn't mean that you're not qualified You're not good enough none of that the other thing I will say obviously like I'm not I haven't had to apply for jobs Really like ever since graduating obviously, but as far as rejection goes There's not one thing that I have been rejected from whether it's a career opportunity um Something that I've lost business wise Something a break off like there's not one thing that has to do with rejection that I've lost that I still wish I had now Or that I ever There every single time I've been rejected there has come a moment where I'm a thank god I was rejected and I look by that now. So when I don't get something that I want in current day I just think I know that will come and it helps me So much it helps a lot of breakups too just thinking like I know one day. I'll be so grateful for this um It helps a ton how to deal with changing like there's a lot of questions about like changing faith and like navigating faith changes in Your 20 years when I feel like the first episode that we recorded for my podcast We kind of went into This about a little I think we I don't know if we so much talk I feel like we thought we went in a lot more than we did. Yeah, we didn't yeah I would say like my therapist I've talked about this a lot because I have kind of This thing where I'm like especially for me like with Christianity. I felt like I lived in such a black and white space for so long And Like I felt like if I wasn't believing everything I was believing nothing and that was because I was always told to me Which like it in fact is not like fiddledly true And so like for me, it's just kind of like what are my pillars like what are these What are the things that I like I know that I believe to be true And like I just I try to like focus on that instead of like what what do I not agree with anymore? And I think that that's like a hard thing to do But it's like okay for me It's like Jesus like that that my belief in like Jesus die when the cross hasn't changed Like that's still a pillar for me and like all identifying what I still actually believe to be true And like building my faith around that because like the reality of the situation is like Your faith is your faith like it's nobody else's faith And you kind of have to walk in it like the way that you feel the most comfortable and the most at peace And so like if there are things that like you've attached to your faith that you like no longer agree with like it Is okay to discard those like for me like there are so many like small things that I Like picked up along the way that I just don't agree with anymore And for me, I was like, okay, but if I don't believe that to be true Then like I'm not a Christian anymore and that's just not true Like don't people tell you that like you have to believe a certain thing or align with a certain belief system political party, whatever it is like your faith like is actually just your faith It is nobody else's and just like try to like focus on like what what are your core values? Like what do you believe to be true still and I feel like build your relationship with your faith around that That's not me. I think when people ask these questions too They're talking a lot more about church than they ever are about their like faith and belief systems because I think I say that too And I'm like, I don't necessarily I think my faith has been detrimentally hurt by the church the church Yeah, which like I also there's been great things that have come from that too. Look, I'm whatever I say this every single time But that's reality of most of the people that even Exist at this point if you've ever been a part of a church or anything like that. So, um I don't know like I'm talking to dog about this on Facebook Till really late last night and I think it's just like you Figuring it out on your own But for me the hardest part was taking a step back because I was so almost brainwashed into thinking I have to be asked or whatever a certain way because I know if I take a break or I take a step back But these people are going to be talking about me to these people Look, I promise you right now this video is being said around like yeah, and we say that all the time And it's like I don't look at this like bubble of like Hating anyone or hating anything or being angry or anything like that so much energy to hate Yeah, like I don't feel that way. I don't just I don't recognize really unhealthy things For me that were not good for me in an experience that I was in and having to like take a step back and heal And then eventually I'm sure I'll kind of get back on track, but like I to this whole time carefully. I have no idea where I'm at Like I'm very all over the place. I'm very like I just know I don't want to be a part of this right now Um, but I think for me the biggest the hardest part was letting myself actually change my mind and take a step back Yeah, and be like I don't know if this is exactly for me and also I feel like it was just it was really scary to be like something that I feel like I've built my life on the past Two years and but my life around and I was told I needed to do and be in whatever it was really scary To take a step back and I feel like oftentimes you talk about this all the time Like you're taught the only way to eat communities and there they like tell you this Yeah, um and like I've never had better community than I have right now And it has actually nothing to do with church. In fact, like most people that I know are probably on the same page as us So, yeah, I think it's also hard when you I said this about my Home church too like when I was younger like it's it was so hard for me to like quote unquote leave because I know How they talked about yeah, because we heard it once you're in so because I was in so deep I was in the most, you know in our most circle whatever which is a cool other issue But um you hear going to talk people like oh, they've fallen off the path or you know They've walked away from their faith the verbates they use in the way that they describe people who No longer to subscribe to their personal belief system. They like have all of the they're like ostracized and they're like Oh, well, they're not here anymore And it's like just because somebody doesn't believe what you believe to be sure anymore It doesn't mean you get to like speak about them like that But I think that's why it's so much harder to leave because you're like, I know exactly what they're saying about me Yeah, and like for me too in our podcast episode came out like I said that I know people are talking about me And I literally got feedback that that was exact someone called mix that I was going off the rails like There was so much and it was I was validated in that but also I don't care anymore because like why do you want to You know receive feedback from people that you don't agree with anymore. Yeah, their opinions should be more You don't want to be like if you're like you don't want to like live your life like them Like you shouldn't want to receive feedback positive or negative from them. Yeah, and I think like and that's hard to That's I'm not saying that it's easy like it's still person people say those things like I acknowledge that It hurts your feelings for sure But just like a reassurance for yourself is like you don't want to be like them, right? Like why do you You're calling me off the rails like I hope I'm off the rails to you Like I hope my life doesn't look like yours anymore And I think too like people especially in the church are like so Terrified of people leaving and so terrifying people taking a break or taking a step back or whatever And I reported I'm so just a Hastings. There's two of them. And there's the best episode. They're so good Um and she was talking about like she's like listen I took a big and she also has a good answer and follow if you guys are dealing with and struggling with any of this And again, I say this like it's I when I say this stuff too. I'm like I could change my mind in a year I could remind mine in six months. I could change my mind like whatever I was listening to stuff this week that I was like maybe I can come back like you just things change, right? But she was talking about how like she took a step back from her Faith in church or whatever around my age for like two or three years And she thinks the best thing I ever did for myself and my faith. So like I don't know. I think Obviously like faith in general is a polarizing topic and it's not We could have been less polarizing with Christianity. I think like At all. I think you should just yeah like us too. I mean I think it's just too personal to like make polarizing statements in general. Yeah, I agree But it's just it is definitely a really hard thing I will say I was so terrified of making that change in my life for so long And it's crazy like I think about that all the time how I mean It's totally different space now and so much more confident and feeling so much better about my life and myself and everything about it Yeah, so I will say it does get easier Like I would say for myself. I found it to get here Same with me like I think also like you have to like Because I think for someone like I was kind of like walking their motions of things that I didn't agree with And you'll find so much freedom and being like this is actually what I want to be doing And I was just Lily was just saying this weekend each day. I am the happiest have ever been in my life I'm pursuing the things that I've wanted to pursue for so long Like I have such great friends of my relationships with people that I don't even live near have never been better Like so many aspects of my life are the best that they've ever been And like I think a lot of that has to do with like me shedding things that just like weren't serving me anymore Which could apply you can put anything anything. Yeah, you like you shouldn't be like allowing yourself to Be like crippled by beliefs or things or people that like aren't serving you anymore And like you have to be putting yourself first in those sorts of situations Like I fully believe that like I think there are so many aspects of life in which like you have to be selfish Yeah, and if you're in a a group or a setting that's telling you like oh, they're not going to understand you Or they're not going to get it or they're not like that is toxic toxic That's actually like I'm not going to go as hard to say like these things are cold at all But I am saying that is a cold mentality. Totally It's all or nothing and like we're right in there and group think and like all these things and like that is all happy So I would just keep that in mind But a lot of like I had like a lot of self-compassion throughout Oh, because it was crazy how like you could totally not agree with something But you still are beating yourself up for it. Like yes, I would never think that of someone else But all of a sudden I'm a problem and I think a lot of it goes to like you hear people talk about people Yeah, that's a huge thing like I think it was hard church is a lot of like negative talk with it That like isn't publicized obviously and the way they speak about people that are outside their walls Obviously, we're inside their walls makes you feel like insiders worse. Yeah, that's probably true I honestly wish like I I think if I ever go back I will stay Like I will keep a very big distance. That's cowboy boots that aren't too expensive Morena Lambert's line Um, yeah, you really need some you need to get to go as I need to go Oh, okay last one. This one's crazy Went on a few dates with a co-worker and then he ghosted. What do I do when I see him? I don't know what you do. Oh, fuck that guy. That's so mean That's actually like so disrespectful people. Sorry people who ghost like okay one date whenever If you go to more than one date with somebody and they go to like that's really fucked up. I'm really sorry people Some people like Gen Z is like pro-ghosting to some degree. Yeah, people who pro-ghosting. I'm not mean not mean You guys think one day whatever but past that one day is totally on the video after one day. No, thank you Um, what do you say bro? I'm so sorry. Honestly, Jenny doesn't exist. No, I no, I don't think that I can just be totally normal Okay, because if you show that you're bothered it's yeah, yeah, that's why when you ever like, okay This is a very good like life tip. All right If you ever Run in to and like every guy will tell you this isn't with the one piece of advice It's consistent throughout without guys Yeah, guys If you ever run into your ex or run into your like your ex's new girlfriend or run into like whatever Be cool being incredibly nice and kind like if you are the person like it's a little embarrassing If you're the person like causing a scene but also like they're gonna just be like well the flesh doesn't care Yeah, because if you're nice like, you know unbothered be an unbothered queen Like you just like and that probably sucks and I'm I'll say it's either side of done because I am an unbothered person Yeah, so like I'm just I'm petty like I it's not that I'm bothered like I want to make you feel uncomfortable But also like in a work environment. That's probably not the best thing to be doing So like it'd be one thing if you're like out of the bars like if you're yeah, you're gonna have to be like in the same workspace I don't know how big your company is but like Uh, yeah, if you're gonna be running into them just like be normal and honestly like it just yeah Just show that you're the bigger person on this is like it probably makes him think like oh, she's like She's not even thinking I mean she's already moved on she's done. Yeah, she doesn't even give a fuck So it'd be be that girl who don't know which is got her package She talks to me. Okay. Oh, did any of your friends get dates from the um Dallas matchmaking tiktok? Not me Um, so like some things have happened. Yeah, it's definitely something's happening I'll play some things some things have happened. Um, I might bring it back though. I like really was going strong And I came with a little bit of a tiktok star this week. I need a date. So yeah, I'll get back on that It's hard to talk because like for any people. All right guys, that is it. I hope you guys enjoyed today's video Please go shop the okai and let me know if you guys like this series It's really disposing here in my kitchen. These are the things that we talk about. So that's true Hope you guys enjoyed we'll have the okai linked below I'll have just a couple links below for podcasts all that I went on it today So you guys can go listen cheers Like new york is just you're there and someone's like, oh you want to hop on the pod tomorrow and it's like There's just in the city. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah stay in the flow No, I feel and then you had a recent life change. I had a I had like a I had a Yeah, I did have a recent life change. It was really unexpected. I feel like everyone's like, oh my gosh You moved doing your boyfriend like I had you guys been like talking about it planning it like