 But what is the difference between a dad and a father as we keep celebrating our dad's? Our second topic of the day. Yes, as they line that up, be sure to interact with us on White54 channel on Twitter, White54 underscore channel on Instagram, and White54 on Facebook. Never ever forget to tell us where you're watching us from because that is the only way we can give you guys. Shout out. Our second topic of the day. What are the different kinds of fathers? So we have different kinds of fathers and as we were setting this up, we had a conversation about how somebody can be a father or a dad, but it doesn't necessarily live with a mother. What do we call this kind of person? He's present, he's providing, he's doing all that is required to be done. He even finds time to play with a kid, but things didn't work out between the mom, the mother of the child and himself. I think he still means a dad. Only that when things don't work out, that doesn't mean that he loses that title. But what I can say is that there is that dichotomy that comes across between those dads. They are those who are responsible dads or responsible fathers and those who are not irresponsible or irresponsible fathers. So if one is responsible, then he falls under the category of responsible fathers or dads. If maybe he doesn't provide for the kids and the mother, he falls under the category of irresponsible fathers. Irresponsible. It's treat-wise to know it's a deadbeat. So what do you think about these kind of situation? I think that once it doesn't work out between the parents of the kids, that's God's plan, definitely. But once the, I don't think that's all, but once, It's just destiny yet. Yeah, but once the dad ticks around, you're still performing your pivotal duties towards the child, you're just a dad. All right, even legally. You're a dad. As long as you're in your child's life, and that means that the separation didn't separate you from your child and from your responsibility towards raising your child, you'll remain a dad. This is going to be very interesting with him because he has experienced this personally. So for me, I think it was like a mess up between this young couple, like my mother and my dad. So things didn't work, so they separated. But my father, not dad, my father was working. Even he's an engineer at Wilson Airport. So things didn't work. But the mistake was he was not providing. But the other father, whom mom decided to stay, he started providing, giving me everything. And there was that attachment. Things that you can't explain. There was that attachment. Even by the time we were being told that, you know, this is not your real father. I was being informed when I was informed for going to do my exam. You know, this is not your real father. Your real father is this and this. It was difficult for them to convince me, this is not my father. This is my father. Because you've been attached to this person. Yeah, we have been so close. He loves me. He do everything we talk as usual. He treat me the same because I was the first one to the other family. So to his family. So I was being treated as a father, as the first one priority, what, what. You know how other families, they think they operate in a first one. So priority. So I was feeling like this is my father. This other one is not my father. But even after being introduced, I come to realize this guy is this healthy guy doing, but he didn't give me even a single coin up to date. But I can't hold the grudge because I don't know. The mistake. What happened before you were born and when you were still in New York? I don't know the story. Do you think other kids are as mature as you are to still go back and appreciate the father and still love the dad? There's one, one thing. By the end of the day, that's also your father. You can't run away from that. You can't run away from that. But the fact that this person is not providing does not mean that she's not your father. You must just accept and live with it. This is my father. You're attached to him forever. For him, yeah. Which leads to my next topic, or the next aspect of this topic where we had the late karma fathers. You have a father who left mom. Mom did all the work and maybe got a new husband who became your dad. And then you became successful like diamond, platinum, and then he wants to come back in your life because you're rich now. First, put yourself in the shoes of this child. Who do you take such a dad back and who do you even wish him happy father's day? My case, no. For your case, never. No. Never ever. So you don't understand what this guy is talking about? No, no, I don't understand. All right, what about you? Okay, I think with girls, let me now say this. With girls, okay, generally as human beings, I think we are social animals. Like we grow up social imitating like whatever we see. What you thought. And I think for girls, it can be easier to like get back with a dad and form that connection again. Like make that connection stronger again compared to a boy who has understands like, yeah. Who knows how the father treated the mother and how everything went about until they broke up, until he disappeared from his life. Yeah, so I think getting back to understand him and talk to him and form that connection will be hard. But for me, I think personally, I will sit down with him and talk to him because as he said at the end of the day, without him, I wouldn't be present. Without that guy, you need to appreciate the fact that you would never be present. You look like you have something to say. Yeah, because I'm disagreeing with this young guy because there's so many people, maybe they are born, left somewhere, or thrown somewhere, so on, so on. They never know they're biological parents. No, they're biological parents. What about them? What are we trying to portray to them? And that thing is quite traumatizing. Yeah, because by the fact that so many people are being born deep in the village, even their dad can't even afford, even one nini, one diaper. But they are struggling just to be there for them. But the fact that you are there, you just appreciate that thing. Because maybe God is there and no plan for that thing. And then sometimes we tend to assume that the person when you're looking for a sister is the best person. Maybe the person when you're looking for a sister has a reason why she is there. Maybe they're looking for a son or something. You know, my heart is different with yours. Maybe there are so many people they can forgive. Some others they can't forgive. So I don't know, maybe the father is directing that nini to me, which should not be directed to me. And maybe the mum is the one who wrongs the father. The father I don't know. So you never know. So there's always the big question. Yeah, behind. There's always a big question. It doesn't look convinced. It doesn't look like it's convinced. But maybe it's because I'm not in his shoes. That's why I'm not capacity to understand. To understand what it means. All right. Yeah. Let's move on to the next. So we have mothers who are single moms. And I saw people who appreciate single moms yesterday. Happy Father's Day. Because are you raising me alone? Oh, mommy, this and that. Do you think a mom can ever replace a father? Just by virtue that she's single and she's raising the kids by herself? First of all, I think the viewers must understand that the genesis of Father's Day came as a result of the Mother's Day. Which started way back in the US when we had civil wars. You see, we had a lot of mutiny and people died. So mothers were left alone. So in the process, they ganked up and said, now let's start celebrating the good work we are doing as women to raise the children that their fathers have done what have died. You see, that is when somebody by the name San Varo Smart came up with this idea of again thinking when he was in that conference to come up with the Father's Day as well to celebrate his father who had died during the civil war at that time. So Father's Day is as a result of Mother's Day. Yeah, it's a good work that moms did when fathers were in war defending the country. Yeah, true. Wow. Not the genesis. Knowledge only on why in the morning. All right. So do you think moms can ever replace dads? Sometimes. You know, if a woman realizes that she is alone, again of the day, she takes up the responsibilities of her dad or mom. She becomes everything. All right. She's a provider, supports. The responsibilities are what define. It's not the sex. It's not the anatomy. That is key. The responsibility. What do you think about this? OK, I think that as I said earlier, father has pivotal roles in a family. For example, he definitely is the head of the family. He's supposed to be there for the family emotionally, to support the family. But when he's absent and the mom takes over, I think that is just another level of heroism. And it just needs to be celebrated. It needs to be celebrated. But do you think there will be a deficiency in how this child is going to be raised? Is this child going to lack something? I personally don't think the child will lack something. Because just as a dad can mold you into someone better, the mom can do better also. So it's just one and the same thing. It's just one and the same thing. All roads lead to the top of the tree, which is responsibility. And generally, you grow as a person. So at some point in life, everything that happens to you or the choices you make depends on you. So it's not on your parents anymore. So you won't end up being a stray just because you didn't have a dad. You grow as a person also. Thank you very much for your insight. Do you think moms can ever replace what the dad brings to the table? Yeah, we have moms who are doing better than even the dads. So they can do. There are so many moms outside there. But there are some things you can only be taught by your father. No. In today's world, the same thing mom can tell you is the same thing dad. Wonderful. I beg to differ with both of them. You see, there are some issues that a father can tell you in camera. There are so strict that your mom cannot give it to you. So that deficiency still remains. It still remains. I think it's according to the family and the family relation. In our family, what my dad can tell me, the same thing mom can tell me, these and these and these, stop doing these and these and these. It's about the issue of nowadays people discuss the relationship. I can discuss with my dad, I can discuss with my mom. All right, there's this. All right, all right, come soon. Personally, what I'm saying is because I've grown up in a family where we're just three girls. And my dad sits us down and talks to us about anything. So I believe a mom can do the same to the sons. All right. There's this notion that boys that are raised by their moms. Wako naka uma maflani. These are not my words. It's just a stereotype. You know, actually, it boils down to what you say it's a notion. It remains a notion. It remains a notion. Yeah, it's not proven. It's not proven. Yeah, but also, but also what's caused that because when you are giving example, if you are close to you, I'm close to you. When I'll be giving my example and drawing my example from your teachings. So most of these guys that are raised by single mothers, they like drawing their examples using their mom. Their mom. So these people think that maybe wako naka ileka uma ma because uma maresiwa no mama. But that's the person you have been close with throughout your life. It doesn't make you any less of a woman being. Thank you very much. And we appreciate the people who sent their feedback our way. We have something on Facebook. Keep them coming. I'd like to sample this because it relates to what we've been talking about. So maybe you can bring it up for me. All right. So Liam has won an exam. I a sincere whole heart to be the inspiration to my world's biggest star has won senior. The ugliness of death may have robbed me from him. But he's still robbing me from him as I'm so proud to relish the memories. He led me to being strong and spludged in toughness. For that I'm dearly thankful you are a missed man. So rest in eternal peace. This is somebody who lost the dad and we'd like to send our condolences to you. And his soul is definitely going to rest in peace if he has if he left people who love him like this. If you are impacted people like this is definitely going to rest in peace. Thank you very much for sending your feedback our way. Let's move on to the next topic and her. So her. What are the roles of a dad for responsibilities? This is a big question of the top three. It's just simple. It's according to your status. Five. The first thing on a financial status because you might expect that to do so big things but maybe financial status can't allow all of her dad is just being there for the family. What's this thing of being there for the family? Sometimes I don't have a money but I have a kid somewhere. Just go in and take that kid out. We go we play with the kid. This kid feel if you have don't have money at least find time find some time for the kid. Just go out play with the kid. Talk to the kid. Let the kid feel that there is someone you know these kids even if you visit the gate you will hear the kid that's feeling that's what having somebody behind a somebody stronger behind it's very important. So even if you don't have the money, even if you can't afford expensive things, that time is very important just to be there. All right. So that is something you find very important starting to roll over that that you find very important. OK. Personally I would find this role very important. Like you see at times you're there and you're emotionally low. Like you feel like you've lost it all in maybe you're at some point in your life and you feel like you're giving up. I think a dad should step in and and ensure that you're back on your feet and you're continuing to believe in yourself. All right. Thank you very much for this. The messages keep coming and some of them are really are really funny. But we can carry on. All right. I think according to me I'll just narrow down to three perspectives that aligns the roles of our dad or father. And this goes down to one moral support, two financial support and three emotional support. Emotional, moral and financial. Those are the three key responsibilities of our dad. All right. Yeah. If he's able to perform those three, then we are able to move. All right. I haven't heard any one of you speak about teaching. Is it the role of a dad to teach us the way of life? Yeah. But if you have time for your family, you will just teach them the way of life because if you take me out. Without even knowing. If you take me out, I'll be really discussing this issue about life. You will start telling me this and this is not good. And this is how you eat in a restaurant? This is the type of lady you should have. You will just find yourselves, bring such like conversation. All right. Thank you very much. All right. So we have these kinds of dads talking about teaching. The dad is one side. What do you think about it? Is this double standard? And why should dads be doing this? They do this, but they tell their kids don't to do it. Do you have a problem with this? Yeah. Of course it's a problem. Because you can't preach water while you drink wine. Sometimes it's difficult, but we are in a modern society. People learn from different platforms. Yeah, different platforms. There are some people who want to take up their life, to live what they feel like, I have to enjoy. Yeah, for example, someone has made money. You can't stop him from going to drink. All right. But why tell the child you can't do this while you're doing it? Sometimes. That is a big question. I'll be back to you. All right. OK, as I said earlier, like human beings, we are social animals. We grow from whatever we see around us, social imitation, that is. So a child, it's a big challenge for a child to just see their father drunk every day, and him telling the child, don't do this. It will be so challenging to the child, because he will feel like, if my dad does this, why shouldn't I do it? So as future parents, we should try so hard. The things that we are going to tell our kids not to do, and we should not do them as well. Yeah, we should not do them before them. All right. But even if you are doing them, you should explain to them why are you doing them. There's the right time for everything. Because for me, my dad, my dad always, after drinking what you will come and start explaining to us, me, I'm drinking because I work hard. I manage to go through school. I have my own money. But I have paid for you all school fees. Is there anybody liking school fees or what? Similarly, coolers. Everything is sorted. So I can go and have time with friends. We discuss the politics. And what? All right, so this is the least we came up with with the team. So you'll tell me if you agree and if we have covered everything. So number one is provider. The dad is a provider. Number two is to protect. Number three is to prompt. To prompt means to encourage somebody to pursue their dreams and whatever they want to do. And number four is to promote. He promoted it later. She does. He promotes. It's motivation. It's motivation. It's motivation. It's motivation. It's motivation. Yeah. All right. So it's the dad's role. From time to time. Yeah. All right. Playmate. It's very important for a dad to play with the kids. Yeah. Do African dads do this? Yeah. Some of them. Some of them. Yeah. All right. Are you guys going to do this when you become parents? Yeah. Definitely. All right. When the child is wrong, it's the role of the dad to punish the child. Yeah. But before... A dad maybe punishes the child. It's high time for him to sit down with the kids, tell him, you know, you've done this. It's very wrong. You're not supposed to do this. All right. So even if you claim that punishment, even the kid feels like, you know... So the child needs to understand why he or she is being punished first. Yeah. Yeah. That's the first thing. All right. Don't just say, talk up. All right. So good. Before... Because I'm a summarized visual designer. So when there's a part you're swelling in it, we have those kinds of dads. When you're attacking, you're going to say, when you're attacking, you're going to say, I'm going to punish. Okay. So personally, growing up, my dad has made us... Okay. He has never punished me. But dialogue works between me and my dad. And he will not hide it from you. You're wrong. You're wrong. And don't cry. Don't try to defend yourself. All right. Don't give excuses. Don't give excuses. If you're wrong, you need to accept it and apologize. Right. I'll pose another one to you. There's this notion that strict parents raise the worst liars. Yeah. Because you don't want them to open. You know, sometimes, if you are so strict, I might not tell you what I'm feeling. You know, if you are not strict, I will show you my old character. Like... My mum will tell you that my mum, I think my mum knows all of my characters because we are open. We can have that conversation. When I have a problem, even if I have a hidden problem, there's this that you can't share with your mum. But I'll sneak and go and tell my mum, I'm going through this and this and this. So being strict, be strict with the limit. Yeah. If a school thing, maybe. But at a certain point, you might be strict, but this kid is suffering. Even something... Going through something in the school, even a teacher. But you don't want this kid to open. To open up. If there's this conversation, what's the problem? What's the problem? All these. The kid will tell you, mum, this and this and this is not working. Otherwise, the child will turn out to be a very big lad. Yeah. Like some of these, when I say that, you know that. So the last question before we sample some feedback is two examples. What kind of gifts should we give out at on days like Father's Day, on birthdays, on Christmas? What do you mean? I think that one first depends with your financial ability. Because those people can be able to buy your father a car. And those people can be able to do what. All right. So it depends on your pocket? It depends on your pocket. I think the best gift is to just be like generally a role model to everyone out there and to practice whatever he teaches. Practice whatever dad taught. Yeah. Just be good to your dad. Yeah. Be good to your dad. Be good to dad. Don't wait until Father's Day for you to appreciate your dad. Thank you very much for coming through to where in the morning we appreciate you so much. So feedback. It's time for feedback. And we have somebody called Ken and I said, mum, my dad is a real friend of the bottle, but he performs his duties perfectly. Like we are 11 kids in our family, but CEO, he only calls his boss and a big up dad. He finds money to feed everybody like anybody. Have a good time. Like he said, hi, buddy. I'm Ann and I'm from Sierra Kali. I'm from Pia Cicchio and I'm a deadbeat. Deadbeat Father's Day. All right. And hi, buddy. My name is Johnny and my dad is my role model. He married eight wives. He always advices me to double his achievements. So guys, what am I going to be? Big up daddy. I promise you I'll double. All right. Thank you very much for sending your feedback our way. Thank you very much for tuning into I In The Morning from 7 a.m. all the way till now and thank you very much for coming through to I In The Morning. We appreciate you so much. So until tomorrow for entrepreneurship Tuesday, I go by the name of Brian Moses or it's by more Navy social media platform. Be good. Be safe.