 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin, and today we're destroying all humans, so that means we're playing the Sims 4. Oh, sorry. Old habits die hard. We're playing destroy all humans. I mean, I pretty much kill all humans in every game, except for maybe Elmo's number journey. Let's go and look for some numbers! Fantastic idea, Elmo. Let's look for a man with a white van and ask him, does he have any numbers? I mean, I would have tried, but he came wouldn't let me. Anyway, let's jump in to the remake of destroy all humans. Hello, friends. My name is Kevin. Have you ever gazed up into the night sky and wondered at the possibility of life on other planets? I'm too busy wondering about the life on this planet and where it all went wrong. Here we go. Destination Earth, rural Ireland, I'm guessing. Honestly, if there are any aliens watching, just a little tip for you. Invade Ireland, dude. Unless you count as cows as defenses, in which case don't come here. We have lots of them. I'm trying to ride the cow. He's just gonna hop along the top of him. All right, I guess we're going to war. I'm just gonna throw them all in the lake. There's sea cows. I read about them online. Wait, oh my god. Oh my god. I'm not a sea cow, though. Water kills me. I should have assumed it would. Always assume water is gonna hurt you. That's why I have never showered. Plus, I don't understand the logic. Like, how can it clean you? It just moves the dirt around. There we go. I filled the fish pond. He's talking about barbecue. I guess since I should have been, you know, vaporizing the cows, but I just drowned them all in the lake, I went with a much less humane version. But then again, I'm not human. So what do you expect? Here comes the farmer. He's looking for me. Dude, come on. You're cheating. Someone told you where I am. I'm never playing hide and seek with him again. Mission failed. What? Really? They're going to call off the invasion because I drowned him in the lake instead of vaporizing him? It's like playing with my child, except less aggressive. Whoa. Almost killed you. Up you go. Oh, he's going to be all worn out. You're going to sleep tonight. Oh, okay. He fell in the lake again. I'm just going to try and put him back inside. Go back into your wife and tell him there is no invasion and everything is fine. Extract and collect the brainstem. Wait. Oh, that's why I failed. It wasn't because I killed him by drowning. It was just that I couldn't get his brain afterwards. It would be all soggy and wet. There we go. Nice smooth brain. Sorry about your husband. You can have the rest of them if you want. I just need his little smooth brain. Be merciless. Let none survive. Wait, what the hell? Where did all these farmers come from? What kind of community have you got going on here? Either way, you're all going in the lake. Whoever finds this mass grave is going to be so confused why there's about 10 cows and 10 men in the lake. Must have been some kind of war between the humans and the cows. We can only hope the humans are winning. I'll send in a boat for them. Oh, I may have overshot. In you go. I may be being a bit aggressive with how I'm putting them into the lake. Like throwing them that hard at the water is basically just throwing them onto concrete. Evening, Ms. Turnip Seed. Of course that's her name, Ms. Turnip Seed. It's like being an accountant and being called Mr. Number Man. Hey, I'm sure he didn't appreciate that pun, Ms. Turnip Seed. I'm sorry, but I can't let you live. Honestly, it wouldn't be humane to let you live. You got to take care of all this farm by yourself now. It's more humane to launch you into the sky. Destroy all buildings. Destroy all buildings. I like the sound of that game. Let's change up this farm. Okay, let's make it a nice open plan. Oh, great. The human military industrial complex. Oh no, there's something in the army. There's not enough space in the lake. Good Lord, their response time was fast. They, the tanks rolled out in this rural farm in no time. I've been here like five, 10 minutes. Destroy all humans. Oh, sorry, I may have jumped the gun on that. They're already pretty much destroyed. And that's what I call an open plan. Look at that. It's beautiful. 90% completion. Oh, I could have killed the farmer's wife using a chicken. How did I think of that? It was so obvious. Farmer disappears amidst cow abuse allegations. How can they not find him? Everyone is in the lake. Unless they're looking at their bodies and going, no, that can't be him. Pretty sure that farmer had a head. Oh, new mission. Earth woman are delicious. Look at his little pose. Oh, who would be lame enough to be in a pose like that? Wait, what the hell is going on in here? I think something's wrong with the hydraulics of the car. Are they not worried? Disguise myself as this hillbilly. I'm just staring in the window at them. Are you okay in there? Your hydraulics seem to be malfunctioning. Oh wait, maybe it's commonplace. This other dude's doing it too. Hey, mind if I look in with you? I'm going commando. I'm free and easy. Why are you thinking about that now? Now I'm you. Oh God, this commando thing does feel pretty good. Okay, I guess we're taking this lady back to the ship. Come with the creepy dude. Come on. Make some small talk to fit in. I'm going commando. Wait, what did I just do? I think I just made the mayor disappear. I'm the mayor now. It's pronounced chowda. That guy's still watching. Did I make her do this or is she just doing this normally? Oh no, she's realized. Okay, I thought this was just her own free will because why would I specifically tell her to run under my ship and start clean? Okay, now that I've got the prom queen, I'm going to burn down your fare. I know what you're thinking. This isn't fair, but in fact, it is very fair. You know what they say, all's fair in war and fair. Is that, is that the saying? Ah, that's what you like to see. A nice open plan fun fair. Taking the fun out of fair since 1993. Now we're onto citizen crypto. Oh, is this the one where I pose as the mayor to the town? I would be a good politician. Wait, what is wrong with the cows in this place? Who has been dumping this green goo? I don't know if just waging war on them immediately was a good idea. I just have a habit of acting first and thinking later. Oh my God, the hay bales are explosive. What the hell have they been dumping? Okay, even the cows are explosive. Okay, I might be drawing a bit of attention on myself. No, no, no, no. I'm not an alien and I'm a communist. I mean, have you seen the t-shirt? In this day and age, a communist is probably worse than aliens actually now that I think about it. It's the mayor again. Everyone else is pretty calm and he's just running off down the street. I'm relating to him more and more. I should definitely be the mayor. Oh yeah, there we go. There's a good distraction. Whoa, look at him go. Uh-oh, I didn't realize that guy was right next to me. Oh, no worries, he got distracted. Oh, an alien. Oh wait, is that John doing the chicken? Anyone notice the mayor is acting a bit odd? He looks like he's got a bit of stage fright. Oh, what was that salute? Carry on with your pathetic human lives. He's got my vote. I like a politician that's straight to the point and calls me pathetic. Tells it like it is. Strange events are happening in Rockwell. Trent in the audience. What's going on around here? I could tell you, but then I'd have to vaporize you. Oh, he's funny too. Yeah, he's got my vote. Oh, no, the crowd do not like this. Maybe insult them. That might get them on your side. In fact, calling you monkeys is an insult to monkeys. How you ever became the dominant species on this planet is a total freaking mystery. I ain't the mayor. Alien for matter's price. That guy's smart. He figured it out. Mayor really a midget. They've been probed. That's a stinking lie. I didn't touch him, Cal, especially not like that. Oh, well, I wasn't accusing you, but now that you kind of brought that up on your own accord, now I have my suspicions. That guy in the back is smiling. He's like, oh, everyone's being very honest today. I appreciate that. Oh, communism, blame communists. The red menace is up to no good again. Honestly, I think if blame communism was an answer for everything, I would win over the crowd. I'd be reelected immediately. As a matter of fact, this is a particularly good time of year for amateur astronomers. I mean, um, communism bad. The citizens need direction. Threaten the communists. I like how the aliens thought that the cows were the dominant species on earth, but somehow they know about communism. Now, wait just a second. How in the world has any of that explained the destruction at the fair? Oh, yeah, the destruction at the fair. Um, bad luck. It's like dozen stayed, and the whole fair is burned down. I'm like, oh, that's a bad luck. Nothing like this happened in Santa Modesta. Stop scratching your ass. Just insult the place. They'll love that. Because we are real Americans and they are not. There we go. That'll show them. They are communists. The mayor's right. This was all just a random series of suspiciously coincidental yet easily rationalized evanes. There you go. It's all up to bad luck and communists. Oh, and communists pronounce it chowder. It's pronounced chowder. He's getting very passionate over chowder for no reason. Wait, I don't even get to burn down the town? That's like half the fun. You convinced them everything's okay and then you burn them all anyway. There we go. I came back down on the ground just to make them all dance for me. Just trying to cheer up the town a little bit. There you go. Call the army! Wait, no, no. Be distracted. Look, dancing, dancing. Come back. Oh, god damn you all. Oh, wait. Oh my god. This little paddling pool is killing me. God, I hope the humans don't use water guns on us. Wait, why is this kid looking into his neighbors with binoculars? Why are there so many peeping toms in this game? Oh, bad luck again. Just a random series of bad luck, I'm afraid. Yeah, they kind of annoyed me. So even though I spent all that time being that politician and convincing them that everything's okay, I'm now attacking the town, trying to burn everything to the ground. It's all right. For all the people who have skipped town, when they come back, they'll just blame it on bad luck and communists. There we go. Their town hall is gone. Damn bad luck and communists, I tell you. The real thing we should be destroying is these paddling pools. That's the real danger. God, how much water is in this thing? Oh my god, it's immune to death's race. Okay, you know what? I'm leaving the planet. I don't have a fecking chance if they've got an infinite supply of water. And plus what happens when it rains? I am as good as death. This alien invasion isn't worth it, I'm telling you. All right, we're gonna end it there. I hope you guys enjoyed the video though. This was a blast from the past. I really, really enjoyed these games when I was younger. They're very, very fun and quirky. I think I'll definitely play more. I don't know whether you'd like to see more videos on it or I'll just stream it, but I think I'll do one or the other. If you want to check out some more of my stuff, I post every day and I do also stream over on Twitch. And I think I'll end up streaming this game. I think it would be a lot of fun to stream and try and actually complete. But yeah, hope you guys enjoyed the video. I appreciate you watching as always and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.