 I thought before we get, before we move into the part of suicide, I wanted to play a video for y'all so that, you know, it kind of gives you a little bit more of an understanding of what it is. So let me just play that for y'all. Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world. In the United States, close to 10% of adults struggle with depression. But because it's a mental illness, it can be a lot harder to understand than, say, high cholesterol. One major source of confusion is the difference between having depression and just feeling depressed. Almost everyone feels down from time to time. Getting a bad grade, losing a job, having an argument, even a rainy day can bring on feelings of sadness. Sometimes there's no trigger at all. It just pops up out of the blue. Then circumstances change, and those sad feelings disappear. Clinical depression is different. It's a medical disorder, and it won't go away just because you want it to. It lingers for at least two consecutive weeks and significantly interferes with one's ability to work, play, or love. Depression can have a lot of different symptoms, a low mood, loss of interest in things you'd normally enjoy, changes in appetite, feeling worthless or excessively guilty, sleeping either too much or too little, poor concentration, restlessness or slowness, loss of energy, or recurrent thoughts of suicide. If you have at least five of those symptoms, according to psychiatric guidelines, you qualify for a diagnosis of depression. And it's not just behavioral symptoms. Depression has physical manifestations inside the brain. First of all, there are changes that could be seen with the naked eye and x-ray vision. These include smaller frontal lobes and hippocampal volumes. On a more micro scale, depression is associated with a few things. The abnormal transmission or depletion of certain neurotransmitters, especially serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, blunted circadian rhythms or specific changes in the REM and slow wave parts of your sleep cycle and hormone abnormalities, such as high cortisol and deregulation of thyroid hormones. But neuroscientists still don't have a complete picture of what causes depression. It seems to have to do with a complex interaction between genes and environment. But we don't have a diagnostic tool that can accurately predict where or when it will show up. And because depression symptoms are intangible, it's hard to know who might look fine but is actually struggling. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, it takes the average person suffering with a mental illness over 10 years to ask for help. But there are very effective treatments. Medications and therapy complement each other to boost brain chemicals. In extreme cases, electroconvulsive therapy, which is like a controlled seizure in the patient's brain, is also very helpful. Other promising treatments, like transcranial magnetic stimulation, are being investigated too. So, if you know someone struggling with depression, encourage them, gently, to seek out some of these options. You might even offer to help with specific tasks, like looking up therapists in the area or making a list of questions to ask a doctor. To someone with depression, these first steps can seem insurmountable. If they feel guilty or ashamed, point out that depression is a medical condition just like asthma or diabetes. It's not a weakness or a personality trait, and they shouldn't expect themselves to just get over it any more than they could will themselves to get over a broken arm. If you haven't experienced depression yourself, avoid comparing it to times you've felt down. Comparing what they're experiencing to normal, temporary feelings of sadness can make them feel guilty for struggling. Even just talking about depression openly can help. For example, research shows that asking someone about suicidal thoughts actually reduces their suicide risk. Open conversations about mental illness help erode stigma and make it easier for people to ask for help. And the more patients seek treatment, the more scientists will learn about depression and the better the treatments will get. All right. I hope that was helpful just for us to get a good wraparound of what we've been talking about. Okay. We'll move ahead, just share my screen once again. Okay. So we're looking at suicide. We've just spoken about this. It's the act of taking one's own life. It's the second leading cause of death. And also those who suffer from suicide may have a mental health condition. So sometimes what could be other reasons for suicide? One like we said, it could be as a result of a major mental health condition, a major psychiatric illness, and that's something that really needs to be looked into. It can be as a result of substance or drug abuse, as a result of constant alcohol or drug use that can be suicide can become secondary to that. There are certain personality traits, people who can be impulsive, who do not have a significant ability to cope with stressors of life, could be another reason. Those who may show a personality predisposition to committing suicide. Next significant losses can become either through death or through loss of a significant relationship, loss of a job or any other loss that they bring out could also be a reason. And it can be a cry for help. Someone who attempts suicide can be a cry for dire help that they may need. Okay. What are some of the warning signs that we need to look for or how would we need to be vigilant about those who may be going through this planning of suicide? And these are certain factors or certain inputs that we can look at just so that we have an idea to recognize or identify if someone is at the risk of a suicide. So where do we start? We could start with the general view of oneself, where they have extremely pessimistic view about themselves, constantly berating themselves or the fact that they aren't able to do anything. Remember, do not take all of these signs in isolation. You may need to look for more than three or four signs. So all because someone feels has a negative view of self doesn't always mean that it's a warning sign, but they may be harboring these thoughts of suicide. A sense of hopelessness or no hope in the future. This is a depressive symptom, often with people with depression, have a significant loss of hopelessness even in the midst of the situation that they may be in. Then it comes a sense of social isolation or feeling alone despite having people around they express the feeling of being alone and isolated or there can be so depression could just need not have signs of sadness. It can also present itself with aggression and irritability with the other symptoms. So if there are constant signs of irritability, aggression that's there, that's again another factor. Possessing any kind of lethal means, maybe guns, medication, ingestible substances, all of that or other forms of it, other forms of psychoactive drugs that they may possess can be a warning sign. This feeling that they are a burden to others, that they are constantly taking off from the means of other people, that they are a burden for space, burden for food, burden for time, all of that, the constant repetitive thoughts and discussions like that can again be a warning sign. Talking about death frequently, that frequent discussions about wanting to die, just feeling that life is over, that there isn't anything more in life is again a sign. Self-harm, as we had spoken about earlier, any kind of cutting behaviors is again a warning sign. Engaging in risky behaviors, maybe drunken driving or speed driving, getting into sports or sports that can be extremely dangerous, that is very risky, all of that, it's with the intent to commit, to finish off life. Then also making funeral arrangements, that is setting bank accounts in order, bank statements, setting tasks that needed to be done, writing letters, giving things away, everything that requires some form of an end, so generally ensuring that nothing is left behind for another person to do. So making funeral arrangements or even giving things away, writing off the will, all of that is again probably a sign. Substance abuse, if there is substance abuse, it makes it a lot more, the threshold is even more higher than making suicide threats, that is constantly, maybe even in conversations saying that they would be, they would do something to themselves. All of this can show multiple things, but nevertheless, it's a sign that we need to pay attention to, it's a warning sign that you pay attention to. So when you're looking at suicide, there is something that we generally follow, which is a risk assessment and why this is important is it gives you a better understanding about how high their risk is. So when you look at a risk assessment, these are some of the, there's an acronym to this, it's called the SADPerson, so it's found that males, men are much more prone to suicide than women are, that in itself makes it a risk, the age between 19 to 45, those prime years of life where there are multiple phases and multiple things that a person needs to get done, B is whether they have a diagnosis of depression, P is if there have been previous suicidal attempts in the past, makes it greater for a repeat, E is alcohol or substance abuse, alcohol or even any other substance abuse makes it greater for their risk, R is a rational thinking loss, the inability to think rationally, to be able to judge, to be able to use wisdom in their process of thoughts, O is an organized plan, which we will come to a little later, that there are times that people have a foolproof plan and which they've been organizing for maybe months or probably days ahead and people with a plan, with an intentional plan are more likely to commit suicide than those who may be more impulsive in nature, even you may not say that they won't but the person who has a plan are actually ensuring that they continue with the foolproof method of diabetic suicide and N is no spouse, if there aren't basically a social support system, it makes it greater, the suicide risk is much greater in a person of that caliber, okay? Sorry, I'm just opening up another slide just to bring about how do we minister? Okay, so how do we, how do we minister or how, number one first, how do we identify, how do we identify someone who has suicidal tendencies or even depression for that matter, okay? So there are certain physical symptoms that you will notice, there is a lot of difficulty in actually day to day living, that is, there's poor appetite, there is difficulty sleeping, there may be weight loss, always feel sick and withdrawn and have a lot of somatic symptoms like muscle pains, body aches and specific tiredness that they talk about. So you would see it in the physical symptoms, you may see it in their behavior where they withdrawing from others, keeping away from others, not doing important things that they should be doing depending on their work activity or wherever they are, whether if they're in a job or if they're in college, if they're at home, whatever they're supposed to be doing, you find that there is no energy, they stop doing enjoyable activities, which means, excuse me, enjoyable activity, some things that they've done earlier, that's kept them going or maybe hobbies or things that they'd like to do, if that, if that goes, that there again is a symptom, they have difficulty concentrating, paying attention to things that are important, that again is a behavioral symptom and maybe a consumption of alcohol, smoking, any form of substances that can, that shows coping is poor. The thoughts, the thought processes are all very, very negative and if you look at some of those thoughts that are written over there, you will see how negatively they actually come out. It's all about not being able to do anything, not being able to work through life. So nothing good happens to me, life is not worth living, I'm worthless, it's my fault, I'm a failure and of course feelings. The feelings are, there's a sense of overwhelm, unhappiness, irritability, frustration, being indecisive and having just very, very poor confidence. Now, one of the things that you would notice in among people who are depressed or especially those who also may have tendencies to suicide, is this, the explanation and this is bought about by a person by name Beck. He developed explanation of depression with specifically his three components. It is the bias, the cognitive bias as we call it, which I'll speak about a little bit more. It is the negative thoughts, the negative thoughts that come about and how these thoughts affect the different areas of their lives. So when he found, what he found was that depressed people are more likely to focus on the negative aspects of a situation while they ignore the positives. They are generally prone to distorting and misinterpreting information and that is what we call is a cognitive bias in the sense of that they may over generalize, like some of the cognitive biases that you would see and there are number of them, but I'll just explain maybe one or two of it so that you have an understanding. One is what we call as an over generalization. Like for example, let's say a depressed person may go in for an exam or a test and may have failed in one, probably a unit test and over generalization would be they're saying, I'm going to fail in all of my exams. Every exam that I'm going to be writing, I'm going to fail. That's what we call as over generalization. That means it's a bias in the way that they are thinking or another bias that we call is catastrophizing, which means exaggerating something that is a minor setback and believe that it's become a huge disaster. Like for example, I fail a test. Now I will never get to study or I will never get a job or who will marry me. So you see something as small as this can become to be catastrophized. It's made bigger than life. Now these are what we call this cognitive biases or biases in their thinking. And that's what generally in counseling that we do is to help for people to understand what are these biases that they have thought about? How do they think and label them as biases and then work on building the next thing? The next thing that he spoke about is negative thoughts, a negative schema. Now schema is like a pack of knowledge that stores information and ideas about ourselves and the world around us. Now this develops in our early years of our life. Depending on our experiences, we build certain what we call stories or certain narratives in our mind about ourselves and about our world. So these schemas are experiences and these experiences comes maybe through criticism that come from parents, from teachers, from friends. So a person with a negative schema, self schema is likely to interpret information about themselves in a very negative way, which leads to this cognitive bias, such as what we had spoken about. So they have a negative schema because of the way that they've been thinking and that leads to these cognitive bias bias. What we need to help to see is that this person, my name, he claimed that these biases, these cognitive biases and these negative schemas that come about, they maintain this tryout, this negative tryout. That is, it is a negative irrational view of ourselves, a view of our future and the world around us. So this is what you see as the negative tryout. It talks about these schemas and these biases affects the way we see the world. That's why everyone is against me because I'm worthless or it affects the way you see yourself. I'm worthless and inadequate or it affects the way that you see the future. For example, I'll never be good at anything. So this negative tryout demonstrates these three components. It involves the self, it involves the world and it involves the future. So what are you doing when you're working, when you're actually in counseling, what you're really doing is, if you remember the ABCDE model, what we did earlier, it comes as part of this model as well where they are helped to understand what are their negative schemas. What are they telling themselves and looking at the cognitive bias and trying to change or dispute and challenge those schemes or those thoughts that are there. So that's what you would do and that's why the negative part of thinking in a person, especially with depression, is extremely important to tackle. It's important to work with. So when you're looking at, in the light of this is when you're looking at someone who has, what you can see is only the behavior that is represented outside. But there is so much that's happening in the previous slide actually showed you that. There's so much that's happening in there and this is only the suicidal behavior that you're probably looking at. So some of the behaviors that you would see is, yes, excessive sadness or moodiness or continuously talking about wanting to die. There's a recent trauma. There's a sense of hopelessness feeling trapped in pain. They're feeling that they are burdened to others. They make preparations. They're extremely anxious or they're reckless. And there are certain issues with their physical care as well. They sleep little or they don't eat as much. They refuse to do any kind of activities. And then there is a sense of social isolation that's there. Okay. Okay, now when you are talking to somebody, when you're talking to someone who has probably a tendency, or you know, you've kind of figured out that there is, there could be suicidal thoughts. Some of the thing that you will need to look at is one, look at the risk factors that I showed you the chart, that entire chart as what could be the risk factors. You need to discuss to see what is their idea. Is it something that's very passive? Okay, is it something that they're only that they just say or is it something that's active? What is passive and what's active passive is that wishful feeling? I wish I died or I wish I could just kill myself. I wish, right? But the active is there is actually a plan that has come about. Now in suicidal plan, there are a couple of things that we need to look at. One is their intentionality. How, even when they're planning, in the plan, do they see, are you able to see that the intention is very high? Maybe they planned a date, they've planned a place, they've planned how, they've planned how to, you know, how to ensure that they get whatever they need. There is an absolute plan. Maybe they've taken a holiday and they've ensured that the rest of the people are not around. There is a intentional plan. Then you assess as to how lethal is it? What are they in the plan? What have they decided to use? Are they deciding to use, you know, two, three crossings? Or have they decided to inject themselves with with something that is extremely lethal? Or maybe, you know, jumping off a track or actually getting on the track? So it really matters of their legality. How, how lethal is the plan? What is it that shows you that the plan is, is lethal? And how much have they been able to build the plan? So this is, it's a very important thing to ask. And that's why the first question that I asked in, you know, some of those statements that we bought up, the plan becomes a peek into really understand how serious the person is and how much they may, they need immediate help. So asking them about a plan is absolutely, it's a good thing. In fact, in fact, it's, it's something that they may want to talk about. It sometimes becomes uncomfortable for the interviewer or for people who are talking to them because you don't know what to do. But that's something that, you know, that I'd like to bring across to you as, as we, as we go forward. Yeah, so let's look at this. Okay, so suicide ideation, if they are having an idea of suicide, use the word suicide when you're asking about suicide, not come to sell for anything else, use the word, because it really helps to actually bring about a response. So for, for example, something that I say is I ask everyone I meet with about suicide. And so I'm going to ask you, have you had any thoughts about death or about suicide? Or I've read that about 10 to 50% of teenagers have thoughts about suicide. Is that true for you? It is important to ask. And, you know, I've never had even one person not share back with me, even if they came planned not to talk about it. Remember, it's a cry for help. So then people will ask, will share. Next, you explore frequency, how, excuse me, how frequent have these thoughts been? What's been the duration of this thoughts from when have they been having these thoughts? How intense are these thoughts of, of committing suicide? So the frequency, the duration, and the intensity of the thoughts. Now assessing the plan. Okay. This is what I was talking about specificity of the plan, how specific, what are the details of specific, specificity details of the plan? You know, where are they doing it? When are they doing it? What have they done? What have they bought? How have they ensured that there aren't any hindrances, obstacles, all of that specificity of the plan, that legality of the plan? What are they using? What is, what is it that they are going to consume? How, what is the mode, the method, the availability of the means? Have they already got the substance or the, or whatever they they're planning to use? And last is proximity of social support, who are with them? Are there people who are staying with them? Is there someone who can support, who can help? Are they alone? So this is how you assess the plan, specificity, legality, availability of whatever they are using, and the proximity of social support. Okay. Okay. The next, like we said is intent, the suicidal intent. Do they have any reasons for living? Like, for example, people, you would, you would know, even as they're talking about, like, they may say, Oh, I have two children. And that's what keeps me away from actually doing something. Or I have elderly parents. That's what keeps me away from doing something. Or if I go, I don't know what this person would do, right? Or there, there is I have a sick family member. So that to really look to find out if they have any reasons for living, right? What do they see is the reason for living? It's not about us telling them that they have a reason for living. Are they able to judge that for themselves? And that's how you, you, you assess intent. Next is severity of previous attempts. How serious has the earlier attempts been? Have they been close to death? Have there been multiple, multiple attempts? Have there been multiple hospitalizations? Have there been, you know, diagnosis of, of depression earlier that has caused these kind of, that's caused the depression. And then you would assess the intent. So basically, when you're assessing intent, you're saying, whether there's an absent intent, a low intent, a moderate intent, or a high intent. So those with a moderate to high intent are those that we definitely need to, to show and to have a lot of care. Now, to basically just give you like a flow chart. And I think this is important, because it gives you an understanding about like, let's suppose you're talking to somebody. Okay, so the first and foremost thing is you ask about depression. So if they say yes, right, you go on to the left side of that flow chart, if they say yes, the next thing, you know, you talk about all their symptoms and all of that, ask them about suicide. Once you ask about suicide, if they say yes, again, you ask about intensity, you ask about their plan, you ask about their intention. All right. So in all of this, if they do talk, if they do say yes, the next thing you will need to do is to ensure that they are safe. And that's a responsibility that we have. We have if you know that someone's someone has is is planning or thinking about suicide, looking at their intensity, their plan or their whatever they have. Any one of this, okay, what you would do is to ensure that they're safe. And how do you do that? One is to arrange help. So immediately usually when when I have a person with me, the first thing that I do is take their permission and say, I will need to inform this to someone so that they are safe. Right. So then I take down maybe details of someone I can immediately inform with their permission. That's when I inform family or inform someone who is staying with them because I don't stay with people, right. And I and I cannot I may be able to message or to call often to to find out how they are doing, but I'm not living with them. So one thing that I do is immediately inform family, and then get them to arrange some form of help. The additional thing that I do is I give them my number or give them some way that they can contact me. And I plan for a session the very next day, so that you know, so that there is something for the person to look forward to. So I say, you know, tomorrow this time, I'm going to call you and I'd like to talk to you for half an hour. Would you would you? What what I do is what I also do is I kind of build a contract. I say, you know, you're important. And the fact that you and I are talking shows me that you're important to me. And as a result, I I'd like you to give me a word that you anytime you feel that you want to do something to yourself, you will reach out to me. So and before that, before our meeting tomorrow, you will reach out to me. If if you feel okay, if you're able to handle yourself, then we will talk tomorrow this time. So that's something that I do. I kind of build like a deal or a contract with them, so that you know, the person can always get back to me. And then I discuss ways to stay safe. Like, and that's something that I will bring up in the in a couple of slides from now. Okay. I'm just trying to see if I could show you all a video right away. No, I think we can wait for that. Yeah. So Okay, so now how do we how do we minister? What do we do? Now, there are different that there is a specific way or an approach that we need to, you know, as as we're helping people, especially when when they're so sad. Okay. Sometimes we we look at a very spiritual explanation. Okay. But to many, this despair and depression, I mean, we look, we may often look at a spiritual explanation, because to us, it may look that this despair and depression is linked to their unbelief and sin. Okay. But we really need to first, like I said, feel the end. So we need to look that sometimes depression is can be psychological can be biochemical. So it's it's important to start off with first and foremost, looking at it biologically, you know, when you're blending, you're blending all these approaches together. Okay. So we we just don't want to see it as a medical condition. We don't want to see it only as a psychological condition. And we don't want to see it only as a spiritual condition. We want to blend all these three together. Okay. So we we may we may need to tease out what could be what is primarily a medical condition, the product of a chemical imbalance that may require medication. Okay. And it's true that a lot of people can be free from depression just with some medicines. Okay. But but then then the next thing that we would do is to look at it psychologically, that it is what could it be stemming from stemming from maybe certain anger, or a sense of rejection, whatever it's stemming from. It's a prominent part of depression, whatever emotions they're going through, psychological issues, they're going through is a prominent part of depression. And you do that by helping them through it. And of course, it is even spiritual, where you are helping them to bring about or bringing up in in in forefront, whatever is hidden or whatever is as a sense of sale on a sense of unbelief, that you're able to help them to help them to return back to God, and you know, get to get in their healing. So our approach really matters to not be very unifocal in our approach, but to be multifocal in our approach, and to and to use it judiciously, judiciously to be able to do it in a way that really, you know, be sensitive to the spirit to ask, where is it that we need to approach and how do we go on with with this with helping the person. Okay. All right. Now, how do you talk to someone about depression, or or even even suicide, one of the things it's really important is to be a compassionate listener, to be able to talk, to be able to get them to to bring about conversation. Okay. So it's it can be that when you're a compassionate listener, it is better off, it is much more important than giving advice. The idea is not to fix the person, you just have to be a good listener and often the simple act of talking to someone can be of enormous help to someone going through depression or suicide. So encouraging the person to talk about their feelings, be willing to listen without judgment. Now, remember, don't expect that a single conversation will be the end of it. Sometimes they withdraw, the depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves and you may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again and be be gentle. Okay. The next thing that you would do is to listen with empathy is to be able to show that sense of empathy. And the often what we should stop or not do is minimize the pain and say everything's fine. You know, you don't you don't subject them to reasoning. That is everything's fine. You know, there's no need to feel this way. You know, you're so blessed. You have so many things. I don't know why you're feeling like that. It's not to subject them to guilt or to shame because that adds on greatly to whatever they're going through. Rather, it is to empathize and I can see how hopeless you feel. But you know, things can get better as we go by, or I hear that you want help. So anything that will help them feel that you show and you are that you show care and that you are empathizing. Okay. Now, when you're talking to someone about depression, your, your goal is to become an empathetic responder, you know, to to ensure that you are doing it with empathy, not in a place of judgment, not in a place of advice giving, but with empathy. With that, remember the three attitudes of a counselor we spoke about. We spoke about unconditional positive regard, we said empathy, we said congruence, right, to be able to demonstrate that is highly important. Now, how do we start to talk with someone with depression? You know, what is the conversation? How can we start to start? What, what are some ways to start? And these are some lines that have just put down for us to be able to begin that discourse, right? Like, I've been feeling concerned about you lately, or I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you're doing. I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed it seemed to be pretty down lately. So these are all different ways that you, you engage a person, answer to maybe questions that you, you, you can actually ask, you know, which is the next one. Yeah. So the certain questions that you can ask in, so being inquisitive, you know, when I mean by inquisitive, it's not about wanting to know so that you can advise, that's not it. It is, it is just being inquisitive and curious so that the person feels you, you're interested. Okay. So the questions you can ask is how can I best support you right now? Have you thought about getting help? Is there something that made you feel this way? Would you like to talk about it? I'm here to listen. All of that really helps when you bring about that. But what you, what you say actually can be of great help. And all of this, you know, has been proven to be of, of excellent counseling help. So, so our thought shouldn't be that, you know, it's only when we are able to give them advice, then we've helped them enough, just being able to discuss this with, with this, this, these questions with them and getting them to open up in itself is a big, big icebreaker. Okay. So what are some of the statements that we can use? And here they are, right? I'm here for you. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm sure we can figure it out together. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but there is hope that things can get better. I can see this is a hard time for you. I'm here with you. And I want to walk this journey with you. All of this definitely does show that you, you're showing some form of interest. Okay. Yeah. Okay, what you should avoid saying, it's these are things that we've got to be extremely careful of not bringing about, you know, because it can actually destroy a person terribly. It's all in your head. We all go through these times. Look at the bright side. There's so much to live for. Why do you want to die? I can't do anything about your situation. You know, just snap out of it. This is something I've commonly heard family members tell their their people with depression, just snap out of it. Just just go, just go walk, just do something. Right. So all of these are very judgmental statements. Okay, how would you need to respond? What is it that you need to do? And what, what, what would you, how, how, how, what, what should you not be saying? Okay, this world would be a better place without me. Everyone will be far happier. Now you would finally, you would find that a lot of people with depression actually bring about these kind of statements that that's, there's another one, I'm going to end it all today. Now, when they are talking about this, remember that the the important thing to do is not to reason out with them as to why the world is a better place with them, or that if they are going to end it, what's going to happen is just to be open, just be empathetic, just listen, just gather as much as information as possible. At that point, at the time when they need, need to just listen. All right. The the next thing, let me do one thing, let me just show you. Okay, let me just show you this. Let me know if you can, if you can hear, and then we will end with with a few more slides. I mean, I don't know if you can hear this. Ma'am, for me, the audio is not clear. I don't know about that. Audio, you can't hear the audio? No. No. Okay. All right. Okay. That means this audio is not available for you. I don't know why. Let me see if I can find this audio. I'll I'll put it up for you all because it's it's a it's a great audio. I'd like you all to listen to it. Okay, I'm just a minute. Let me put back the okay. Okay, I'll put the video up on the on the stream so that you could see it. Okay, so one of the things that you'll need to do as you know, just I've just bought about how to bring people to safety. One, the goals that there is, like I said, listening to be empathetic, to be able to establish a relationship, provide contracts, suicide prevention contracts. And I mentioned that earlier with you, right, to be able to find people who will help to get the support they need you building a contract or a deal with them, planning safety, as well as certain alternatives to suicide. These are certain things which which should be your immediate goal. Alright, this is your immediate goal. As soon as you do hear people talking about suicide, your immediate goal are these two things. So what is first and foremost important is when someone telling you something, it's just to believe them. And that's what the video also says, you know, the first and foremost thing is just to be in a place of belief, and not be in a place of doubt or, or a sense of skepticism. You know, no, no, you won't do that. Come on, what are you talking about? None of that, right? And I think I've bought about, okay, how could you, how would you start a conversation about suicide? Yeah, I think it's similar to what you have read, even in depression, to begin with, you know, I wanted to check on something with you. Have you been thinking of suicide? It is a good way to start the conversation of suicide. And there are these similar questions you can ask, when did you begin feeling this way? Did something happen that make you start, that made you start feeling this way? How can I best support you right now? Have you thought about getting help? What, what are some of the the thoughts that you are having? Okay, now, now these are again, responses, responses of how you can respond to the way that they are bringing about these thoughts. So some of, I'd like to just put you on to the last one, which is something that I commonly use. It's saying, when you want to give up, tell yourself, you will hold off for just one more day, one hour, one minute, whatever you can manage. So basically, what you're doing is helping them stay in the present, helping them stay connected to what, what is going on right now, in that moment, rather than, than them getting overwhelmed with the future. Okay, so that's what you're, what, what you can say. And there are other things that are, for example, you may not believe it now, but the way, but the way you're feeling will change. It may take some time, but I'm here to walk you through it. I'm here to journey you with it. Or, you know, even this, I may not be able, this, this I've seen is extremely powerful, especially for those who feel rejected and not feel that, you know, they're not wanted, this fourth one, I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and I want to help. So just the very thought that someone has, has cared about them enough, or I said it, you know, even you're as a counselor, you've just said it and say, you know, I care for you, I'm concerned about you. I really want to ensure that you're okay, shows that, you know, it demonstrates that sense of care and trust and, and, oneness. Okay, what you don't say are these, okay, very, very careful, but careful not to say any of this, which is, oh come on, you will get over this, don't be such a drama queen, how could you think of suicide, your life's not that bad, suicide is selfish and cowardly, you have your kids to live for, others have problems more than you, you will go to hell if you die by suicide, if you do, you will be hurting me, okay? And that again, that again is a very selfish motive, right, that, you know, if you're going to die, you think that they will, they will not, but then that again causes a lot more of guilt, you are another added person that they have to feel extremely guilty about, okay? Sorry, yeah, what you, what you not do is not argue, not to ignore a suicidal threat, don't act shocked or lecture about how wrong it is, do not be swollen to secrecy, so they may say, you know, I'll tell you something, but promise me you won't tell anyone, so that this is something that I say right in the beginning, that everything will be kept confidential, unless of course there is an assessment of any personal harm to yourself, it is harm to yourself or somebody else, that's the only time with your permission, I will need to seek the support of someone else, that's something that I say right at the beginning, so you should not be swollen to secrecy, okay? That you say, okay, I'll keep a secret and finally you're actually going and telling someone else, and don't offer ways to fix their problem or give advice, it's not the time to fix the problem, it's a time to get them away from the situation that they are in, okay? So as a recap, what do you do if someone is suicidal? First and foremost is, don't get tensed, just be yourself, it's okay, you have a handle of the situation, don't feel, you know, don't freeze, because I've seen a lot of people, they just freeze, those, what do they need, they need someone to support and someone to just be there with them, so be yourself, let the person know that you care, that they're not alone, remember the right words are not important, if you are concerned, your voice and your manner will definitely show it, okay? Next is, don't be afraid to ask if they're depressed or if they are so sad, don't be afraid, it's in fact important, in fact there may be people who are just waiting for someone to ask, okay? Listen, listen and assure them help, let the person unload their despair, ventilate their anger, no matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that, you know, they are, they're actually opening about it in itself is a positive sign and that they are looking for help, okay? Then be sympathetic at the same time, be non- judgmental, be patient, calm, accepting, okay? You're doing the right thing by actually talking about, about their feelings. Next, important to get help, so you need to tell a family member or a close associate, it is very necessary to get the support of other people, you need to ensure that you do that, alright? The next one is, make a list of supports they can turn to with them, just write down, who else can they, who else can they turn to when they feel like, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's you or maybe it's a pastor, maybe it's someone, there is someone that they can turn to and of course assess the immediate risk, you are actually the following questions can help you to assess the risk, you know, do they have a suicide plan, do they, do you have, do they have what they need to carry out that plan, like pills or guns or whatever, rope or whatever, okay? Do they know how they're going to do it, you know, what is the time that they have set, sorry, when are they going to do it, what is it, what is the time that they've set and what is their intent, how do they intend to do them, now these are important things that you do and this is like, it's like first aid, this is the first and foremost thing that you would do when people, when someone does talk to you about suicide, these are some of the first and important things that you would do, now when, once you have bought about or done this and you do probably see that the person has a lot more of negative ideas, it's a good thing to refer them, it's a good thing to get them to see someone where they're able to really speak out and get the support they need, all because they are outside the risk of suicide, remember the depressive symptoms or these thoughts may not completely, thoughts of negativity and helplessness may not completely go, they have, that has to be managed, right, so if that's something that you find difficult to do, it's important to get the support and help that they need, okay, there are certain scriptures that's there in your notes, you could actually read them up, it's just for us to see how the scripture does prohibit suicide that God does not, it's contrary to our faith, okay, we are called to live our lives till the time Jesus calls us or he comes down, okay, so he does not want us to destroy our own life and there are certain scriptures that bring about that which is something that you all can look into, all right, yeah, I'm done here, is there any question, any specific questions you all have, any question, okay, no one has any questions, no question, okay, all right, okay, then let's just, let's just close with the word of prayer and yeah, I'm sorry, I think I took five minutes extra, let's just close with the word of prayer, Heavenly Father we just thank you God that even through these small ways, we thank you that you're equipping us God, Lord to minister and to deal with people who are hurting, who are pained, who are struggling, we pray Father that you will give us the wisdom, the right sense Lord to deal with people with empathy, love, without judgment and unconditionally showing your love Father, God through us we pray that we will demonstrate the love and the compassion of God, maybe have compassion for people who are crushed in spirit, who are brokenhearted Father, Lord even as and I pray God that the Holy Spirit will keep us vigilant you know to minister to people like this, that we wouldn't shy away from from what you've equipped us to do but we would do so in boldness and in confidence, Lord we pray God for those who hurt, Lord those who many in our own circles, Lord many who we know Lord, who feel the sense of melancholy, the sense of depression and the desire to end it all, Holy Spirit we pray that the power of the Holy Spirit brings about deliverance and healing to their innermost spirit Father may they may they see your love for them and and give them a way of escape Lord from these conditions, thank you that you use us Father we pray at the same time that you will keep us keep us healthy and strong in our souls, in our own emotions that we will not be wrought with worry or fret or anxiety or depression but Lord we will have hope, our hope comes from from you as our living Savior as our living God Father may we be able to engage others with this similar hope, thank you for teaching us, thank you for being with us in Jesus name we pray Amen. Amen. Alright thank you so much have a blessed, thank you have a blessed week ahead, we'll meet you next week, thank you.