 Welkom back, this is Unfinished. Today we are talking about men and societal pressure. I am your host, SK Gitonga. Do not forget to follow me on all my social media platforms. Also keep us engaged on all social media platforms at Y254, hashtag Unfinished. Onto our next question. What do you think men can do to avoid societal pressure? Let me know what you think. I think so, that's a tricky question. Men should seek for psychological help. Just in case we go through a certain pressure. Kuna religious leaders. Kuna many people that the men can approach to. Unapata some things, this pressure. Ukijiki asasa, unapata some men on a suffer from this thing called depression. Depression is real. So pressure seems worry. And it can lead to depression. So it's good for men to speak out for them to be relieved of that pressure. Listen to the likes of Amirix and Kibbe. I am a student, I agree out of kukuakaf kuzi, if that is a word to say. But I think that they are great teachers and mentors of males. Especially when you are between your 20s and 30s. That is the first way you develop yourself and grow yourself. So I think when I talk to listen to the likes of them, even if what we do is not on our pose. I think what kind of facts. They should talk about it. Even seek mentorship. And not keeping yourself, keeping it into yourself. And even have to hear advices from other people. Maybe someone who is grown up and new. And even seek mentorship. A kitu manome na zafanya niye tii. Mi na fukiria. Manome na nimsanafaku fukiria apra. Itu na tiki. Chana na izima storyndo. Nga pivi na fukiria. Yei mo nye boradji. Fokasabek. Shon nambawon. Kamu na fanya kitu. Ako ekiwa rights. Weye fanya wikiwa rights. Uzi skia stories awadu. Uzi skia pangazawa tii ta kupul down. So weye manome. Kamu na onada ii o kitu wei na fanya. Nikitu wei na make sense nambawon. Ani kitu wei niye hawezu ka contradict na nii na na maishyam tu mingine. Bara wei mo nye weitu unai fanya na uko straights. Mambo ta kwa best in the world. I can't say ni ku jitu matu. Anu kupruva wasi e wrong. Kupruva society wrong because kuna wei na generation nii na kiki groi kiki groi. Una pataile design. Maparone na takawin hiirid kitu niye. Alikua na doon. Na nana wei kuakua like you have something else nii na dei ku dupia. Oki say tu ta iiku fanya but your passion is on to something else nana. So una pataikuna kulisha na pokiasi ya. We just look for jobs that nii zunye zinali pavizuri. I think men need to bring up their sons well. They have to incalcate in them values of hard work, honesty, truth. Ya, they need to be truthful men. Hard working men. And also, ya, you know, teach your sons not to taking drugs and such things will affect you. So be soba. Be stand your values. Your values will protect you wherever you go. I have good values, good morals. Things may not work out right now but they will work out in the future. Yes. Kikiwa kwanza. For me nii ku ka single. Kikiwa kwanza mii nii ka single. So ki ka single una avoid diesel pressure mingi. Yo CG beb nii pelike out. Beb nii fanya nii nii provide for the family. And another thing nii kuji tuma maze ku invest on yourself and when the right time comes maybe you can have a sports. So don't engage in activity. Maybe upate kama mepe na dame ball before your time in Fike. So wukimpea before time ya ku i Fike na wujaw moka vizuri. Ita create a lot of pressure from you because you will be providing for the kid for the baby mama and the rest. So kwa avoid this stress zote nii kuji panga. We say me what do you want in life? At what time? Na nazima as men we have to accumulate the resources. Kusia kuwa sawa mambia kikiwa fiti mpuko iko sawa pale banki kuwa two fiti then you are ready to face the pressures. Ya It is like a battlefield to kama yosasa. So you have to prepare mentally, physically and everything. Men can avoid societal pressure by having more conversations around them. Having more men forums women we have so many things where we go and rant, we go and speak out. So if men have such forums they can talk and they know that it is okay not to be at a certain status or you know then it reduces the pressure on them so men need to speak up more and have more men forums. Ya I think just have unique relationships with because everyone's relationship is unique. How I am with my girlfriend is not probably how I was with my ex-girlfriend and since everyone is unique um you find a way to communicate with each other understand each other and just keep your business between yourselves or with your trusted saku at all if that happens. A therapist, professionals people older than you are who've gone through relationship stuff. It's not that you'll have similar problems but they would be the same subject matter. Ya so you guys just be unique be wise on your own and don't really look at social media as a rubrik of the truth of the matter because you just see a small vocal minority. It's very vocal and you think that that's what everyone is saying and it's probably not. Hapu mambo ni mingi na karentru na jetru na karentu ekonomi ah reda steka ni kusambu ay manomi maianishi kibrasaii is in pressure because the economy is easy ungani mi ambiri in Nairobi ah tuseme mboga kende mboga utsumu almost 50 to kutoshirisha tuseme familiar ya watu watatu ununa the challenges we are passing karentri in our country in our country from the president's side wukengare zaza manomi to escape those challenges akuna option naisu challenges ya ziko and I think I should encourage men atawa kinge kuawizi ni sawa because wukengare ya watu awangari this perspective oyum manomi wuken mfungi ya umurango atatua wapi for example then ana job ana kitu ya neza tari kufanya makufanya something ya neza mbretia fundi ni something to the table ya neza feed to the family siza sizi kavijana ama sizi kase rekari what is the good option ya nyu yu manoma neza I think the first thing that's what we scale there are many crises in in every county in Kenya karentri kuna kuwa watu kuna whatever I don't understand the sexual matters kugdamp watu because these people right now the rife we are ikungumu and now it's just to make the rife to be very simple right now we engage today dangerous activities like thefting ni onawawa patekitu ya to kifanya wizi itaturete kwa chakura wukame that's the thing naikinuki ni meza this person you should tell him that anafanya mamba ya housing Sijetima whatever such things of the finance pili akuna president Ida many people in the society they are the rekuyut onapata wengu most of them tell school dropout onapata rekuwanawame wengu rekti 3 quarters of percent yawa vijana wengu wako school dropout ni wanawame siwa shana because of the family matters we understand it na through the family matters inafanya mutu anaka anaka muoga onapata iresnaro ya bad company ame gechiku yo bad company awameza wizi awameza something small arafu onapata that at the end of the day ime wa close some jarenches rakini as the man I can say kazi ya keniku strago ita strago wukani wizi ikosawa inarete zakura kwa meze ikosawa rakini ika iko vizuri kaya rekuaf somewhere penyunenu naapata at the end of the day nabubi eni inafi I think that man should always do whatever they feel like is right for them not considering whatever the society will say about them let them make sure that if their wives and children are happy then that's good I feel like man can avoid societal pressure by creating their own standards because by creating standards you're creating a personality and let me tell you if you do not have a personality social media is gonna be there to tell you who you are and what you do and then second thing is do not let social media be your living manual I mean nobody says that whatever is on social media is the right thing to do so you should be able to trust your instincts and do the right thing all the time onto our next question do you think couples should help each other in terms of financial crisis and how let me know what you think of course in terms of financial crisis if you're a couple then you need to support each other especially in our marriage setup because you are one now to become one when in marriage so it's only logical to support each other until the other person rises yeah so why not yeah let me say I can say it's 50-50 you know to Yemu who do this thing the two of us it's 50-50 you know you know say to Kila Krita you know there's no time to find there's no time to find so I think it's 50-50 for both I don't first of all I don't think it's it's an obligation for a man to be the provider of everything necessity every necessity that is so if there is a position where a man needs help financially I don't think it should be an issue and also when the lady is the one who is on the side that needs help financially then the guy is also supposed to come through for him so I don't think it's an issue at all yeah I think the man should contribute 75% and the woman 25% yeah because you know as the man of the house you should ensure that or that you pay 3-4 of the bills if possible 100% but because of the economic situation I guess 75-25 50-50 but you should both contribute yeah they should maname anafakusapot manamke na manamke pia anafakusapot manamke in such a way it's equal to mimi nimi maniwendo na leta leo na kuja na pesa leo na fanya shopping kesho na fanya shopping ono na maybe maybe kama kuna ele understanding na jua wewe hauna kazi sindio uko nyumbani batu kuna tafuta mimi ni kuna kazi sita kuna shida kuprowide kama wewe hauna lakini kama otetu kuna income kuna ele majukumu kuna vitu lenye mimi kama manamke sifahi kukunundle wewe kama mstiana kuna checki kuna njumba kuna vitu lenye mimi sasa sifahi kama kudunua vitu kama kiberiti kudunua vitu kama chungvi yoni vitu za za wanawake kikununuwa mimi ni ambi e mambuna finia ambi e mambuna rent na ekivitu kubuakubuatu supportia ni mimi ki toa kidogo wepia toa kidogo sindio mambuena kua fresh kulfaenda aledi anawak na agent pi anawak so as in onza patapia this man from the previous question me sema about pressure so in order to cope up with this pressure so apundu pia lady anakua allowed to come and help the man financially kus watu na sema this future wanabil together and to build this future together inamanshapia muna farm supportia ni and in anyway including financially so it's better for a woman iskwetu ni a make up tekiake ni ni ni ni so at least she should support the man financially kusapundu na sema no the true love inakuja sasa the true love niku support one support tuna supportia na in short so and we also support the family in case you have kids we support the family so it's good for a woman piya to help the man financially yes they should what I think is the couple that grow together is you put your contribution together and you plan together this is what I have this is what I have so you plan together that's how couples should do and for the couple for the most of couples who have succeeded is those who do things together yes so I think the right thing is sit together and put all your put all your contribution together and plan together is couples just be honest to each other what you earn there is no specific approach to how couples will help each other just what will work for you or your family might not work for me so and you know we even earn in different amounts of money in different family setups so be honest with yourselves talk it out with your partner get to know what works for you and what does not work for you there is no specific approach to that yes with that you will be okay it depends because kila couples wana kuwana challenges now because there is no written book or a manual how couples should navigate through maybe a relationship so basically they should know each other better na fawjue like mimi niki standard for rent wana first na mimi food you know we compliment each other sasa apondio apondio wasewana wana sawa na jwa like my girlfriend na patanga iido na mi na patanga iido so we should compliment each other so ikifika ni kama mi na lipa rent ni food kama na lipi am toto school fees wana nunli am toto uniform as in vitu zina kuwa easier because they are married to easier they have kids too so they need to support each other if this one if kawaifana the husband to provide wow yeah I'll still revert to uniqueness of a relationship ideally if it were other times when the woman was staying at home and building the home more or less quote-unquote that's work in itself and the money they want to go out and find money and come back home and provide for his family yeah we'd say stick with that but times have changed everyone has an opportunity to make their own money and people can do whatever they want to do in the house but it's all dependent on what you have in the common understanding how you view finances as well and this is something people should be talking about because you might think as a guy that I'm the one to provide for everyone and I even forget that my wife has probably a salary or just money she makes money that is way more than what I can ever make or the mentality that the man's money is ours but my money is mine sit down talk about these things the man might probably be a very big spender of money or the woman may be a big spender understand how your financial mentalities are then choose to work on whatever you guys have as a ununderstanding in your own relationship because there's no kukikata method of this is how they should do it there's just a good way and the wrong way and the wrong way is being individualistic in the approach we are not equal Kama numa me patakazi he's working somewhere na atseme he has married man amuke mone she's an embroider ama atseme most of the people that we should run for their school we know so nimsuri kawewu kuna kazi kawewu ni man aduka he creates something because he does not know for example he can't hold on he creates some tokens Comput drives him vow he knows how to convert poor people but they can't do itpmamu na def because they don't have an idea about coming to besonders Inje tzema hendem panguwa kando inje bikoza ya da kuwazena with some tokens kung fuko. Inje nizakred some impact tzema many people wawataki kukredjop imprementu wa kwa family partners. In my opinion, I feel like both parties should contribute. That is like the man and woman. All you have to do is just decide on the percentage. Is it 50-50? Is it 70-30? Also depending on who needs it more, right? And I also feel like to build a family and a home. It takes two to tangle. So a man cannot do it by himself and it's also not fair if you're a woman who's working and you also expect the husband to pay all the bills while you can easily help out. So we have come to the end of this show. Thank you for watching. I have been your host, Eske Gitonga. Chau.