 Foundation staff in case you don't know I forgot my name is Sherman welcome to the site 42 holiday special tonight we are going to hang out on my creaky chair in front of my beautiful high budget visuals high quality high definition 1080p fireplace we've got the holiday drink of champions johnny walker black label it's all right mid-range mid-range it's cool i have got yay notification button we have cj pops in the stream i've got a little chat window so i can see you guys in here so we've got a fireplace we've got scotch and we'll just wait a little bit hang out and talk the chat wall everyone piles into the party holiday happy holidays to you all hello storm clouds welcome to the holiday special that makes me thirsty i doesn't make you thirsty for scotch or does drinking scotch make you thirsty both but it's okay it's why it's wonderful ah smoky so tonight we are going to go over several several several holiday scp's jackson gelinik wants us to know that the scotch fireplace in a lab coat is typical foundation personnel especially at the holiday parties especially every day of the year it's a long day at work too many tests scotch and fireplace the youtube rookie says hello there how goes it at the site it goes gloriously as you can tell enigma says hey everyone and i say heavy everyone back fantastic so the plan tonight is we're going to go over a long long laundry list of holiday themed scp's and tails i don't know if you've been digging through the site as i crawled through because we don't have a holiday hub we have a couple holiday hubs for like certain years but we gotta put them all together ah cj pops with a bottle of crown good man happy holidays marcellus thomas storm crowds i agree this is going to be interesting so i've got a long long laundry list of readings to go through we may have to go through some uh singing so you guys don't have to join me for some christmas caroling because some of these are songs and that should be acapella entertaining the youtube rookie says i see you watch the vulgans videos you're a definitely a man of culture yes the vulgar tonight we are uh as they say in the world best buds yes indeed fantastic so let's take a look at the first story for the night we're about three minutes into the stream so far i've got my little iphone camera so i can see right about here where the timer is clicking so about three minutes in that gets us about time for everyone to show in and get the party started so everyone else will make their way in i've got the chat here i will not be chatting during readings because i won't be able to see the reading so during the readings i will not see you guys but you guys can chat you guys are having a party and now putting the chat down we are going to start tonight's reading with scp wiki dot net slash christmas plainly christmas and this reading starts with a summary i always have grand plans that few people help me on i'm just gullible that way this time it was 100 word stories for christmas a la gamen's nicolas was i normally send one out on my christmas cards thanks again neil and this year i shared my story with the staff including the idea that we all write one for the site but when time rolled around there were only a handful of people who managed to get one done e4d with kens and man so in honor of christmas i give you these stories feel free to add but keep it at or very very close to 100 words enjoy kids troi no two snowmen susie later thought as blood and bile oozed from the gash in her stomach that thorn branches were a poor choice of arms they had been what snared her with ease the thick vines coiling around her wrist tiny dagger like barbs digging into clothes first and then flesh but she mused for a moment that the hat they had found neither silk nor top was a miracle and if miracles existed then certainly she might survive but watching the other children scatter from the snowman in the pinkish snow quickly removed such illusions as her wound turned from hot pain to cold she closed her eyes signed troi well that's a great start troi thank you thank you so much for the anomalous snowman ah story number two in the short story anthology series is a newspaper clipping so let me show you guys what the newspaper clipping looks like that's what we got and now family torn apart by abduction on christmas day picture of nine-year-old tomy henstridge taken by his parents on his blank birthday oh taken on his birthday a few months before his mysterious disappearance bozeman montana authorities announced that a mother and father in the town of bozeman are being charged with conspiracy to abduct a minor this evening following the disappearance of nine-year-old tomy henstridge the young boy vanished from his home late saturday night police reports indicate no other subjects had been identified but point to a bloody trail leading to a chimney in the residence's family room leading investigative officers to believe the attacker scaled down into the home despite a lack of footprints in the snow outside jim brown sign echo for delta and dr kens man this is the child murdered christmas excellent ah all right here we go i knew it was wrong even as i swung the hammer down on the old man's head the bone shattered and blood and brains sprayed out matching the scarlet of his suit tears ran down my eyes as i struck again and again i love the old man i knew it was wrong but i had to you see for my father for honor only blood would make things right he should have never done it mistletoe or not not that the guilt was his alone i would deal with her later you see i saw mommy kissing santa claus signed dr man oh my lord let's continue on being a jewish kid around christmas time always made me somewhat what annoyed i always wanted a santa but what i got was two grandparents pinching my cheeks in a gift card for best buy saying this my father told me of the hanukkah armadillo an armadillo that acted in the same capacity as santa but delivered presents to all the good jewish children so perhaps simply for a laugh my dad dressed up as a giant armadillo and i sat on his lap and told him what i wanted and when hanukkah finally occurred my dad gave me exactly what i wanted a gift card for future shop signed salman corbet an armadillo what what show was the hanukkah armadillo on that was friends right that was uh ross galler the hanukkah armadillo right i think so that's my best guess yes i see confirmation in the chat brilliant next up on our short oh how many shorts do oh there's a lot of shorts excellent i have been alive in this state for about a week and there are a couple things that i figured out firstly i think i'm in a time chop loop because every 11 seconds i wind up in the same place somehow second chop ow axe is really fucking hurt and i feel when hacking at me all the time third i'm fully chop conscious even though my left arm keeps being chopped off finally the sky is chop for some reason changing it used to be my house then it got all dark then an office although it chop is really hard to tell what with everything outside being fish eyed and all the damn snow that keeps falling and the worst no no no chop bit is that my assailant isn't even human in fact other than his facial features he's completely made of snow ah chop ah and here we go again signed reject i had always thought that reindeer were majestic noble creatures with their grand antlers and fine coats to see one up close would be so special that's why when the old man said he would take me to see the great herd i was giddy as i could be wild herds could reach hundreds of thousands though this herd was far greater when we first saw him i couldn't believe their numbers their tranquil nature now with our sleigh overturned the old man trampled my leg broken i can only think of how naive i was about such wild animals signed toad king 07 oh the foundation am radio guys nice billy was over the moon christmas morning and he was allowed to open one of his presents early sidebar christmas morning isn't that when you open the presents normally or i guess never mind back the story as he pondered which present to open he heard a voice from one of the boxes please yes release me this instant you bandits the voice yelled billy opened the box to see a funny looking robot big mistake meatbag it shouted wow billy explained a real robot he reached for his new toy when the doorbell rang he sprang up with a sigh and ran for the door he opened the door and saw a man holding a cardboard box standing on the porch hey there little man the visitor said is your father home he's asleep but i'll go waking for you billy said eager to get back to his toy the man smiled and quickly entered the living room as billy ran upstairs there you go he murmured as he tossed the robot into the box the robot screamed indignantly unhand me ruffian i will end you i'm sure you will pesterbott the man chuckled as he left the house i'm sure you will he's gone he took my robot billy said his voice trembling we didn't even get you a robot billy his father yawned billy crossed his arms locally this is the worst christmas ever signed sth9 pesterbott one of the best characters on the site hands down so that is our short 100 christmas 100 word christmas story analogy let me pull up the chat for a moment and see how things are going happy spoofs birthday santa child predictor oh the chat is jumping ah my chat is catching up with the lag from when my phone turned off let me uh go into my settings real quick and make sure my phone doesn't power down so that i don't get lag on the chat let's see these are things you should think about ahead of time on the stream kids display and brightness and lock that sucker never never lock it all right so now my chat will not go away i can see you guys i'm a bad man spoiled never let a stranger in the house smack that kid spoiled kid lag cuss of bad and we're caught up excellent so that is the 100 word story anthology for mother russia says the putonator so let's see what's next on our list a going down the list okay so we're gonna do do do do pulling out the wiki fixing the url the url if that's what you say i am the duke of url scp wiki net slash twas the night before christmas now i'm gonna preface this with so so many of these christmas scps are the night before christmas redone so i have a bunch of them in my list because a lot of them are really good but we're gonna break them up so we don't do the twas the night before christmas poem structure a hundred times in a row so it was the night before christmas from the scp is there a 682 christmas story scjc jobs i'm not sure if there is one y'all should let me know in the chat in between stories so that i can hunt it down for us do so tonight uh for our next tale we're gonna read twas the night before christmas scp wiki net slash twas the night before christmas starting at the top and here we go is that a tv or real life fireplace some guy named king that is a highly anomalous video it's a memetic kill agent every single one of you who is not authorized foundation staff should be writhing in a seizure on the ground i apologize i should have told you that ahead of time good memetic kill agent good job youtube kill agents twas the night before christmas and all through the site not a keter was stirring to migrate to light the paperwork filed in the cabinets with care each one a story of objects most rare humanoids held firm in 10 meter cubes and yuclids suspended in magnetic tubes but researchers technicians d-class and more were hiding in fear from the sounds of a war the east wing had lights flashing warnings in morse two keters three yuclids and one sick but died by by ruin the poem no let's rewind that shall we the east wing had lights flashing warnings in morse about the escape of an anomalous horse two keters three yuclids one thought safe but not merging together in one ball of snot were barely but noticed by king dr bright a crisis at last had now moved him to fright his powers immortal availing him not and expert assistants he went out and sought grabbing all resources that he could claim six mtf teams he called each by name now cleaners now gear deads now memetic fixes on toasters on weirds on timeline deep sixes to the basement l4 to the site of the breach don't wait get going to all i must preach the pain of our failure is the pain of is the end of us all rushing they jostled to get to the hall containing the monster the doctor's truth read fervently hoping to put me to bed the snotball had the cleaners tied up in knots while toasters and gear deads were blocked by some bots escaping their quarters and running all round trying to bind all the things that aren't bound backwards and forwards the scrapping did go until i called time and their fighting went slow the weirds did not know that last week had gone wrong an scp slow-acting memetic song made them ignore the good doctor's commands as they were all busy staring at hands the memetic fixers tried chanting in rhyme my true name in greek while assaulting a mime which in all fairness really should have worked but instead in my heart i secretly smirked my honest information had led them astray assaulting a mime is what keeps me at bay a mine a mine and not a mime a mine timeline deed six is most suited for this gave it their best but still came up a miss they ran down my hall they ran with much vigor but too late and my power did trigger they activated my trap card you see their forward most man almost made it to me but now for eternity i get to see his eyes frozen wide at the sign on my door upon which is written beware crown of all towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas towards the night before christmas text found printed on the back of anomalous object 173 dash 21 dash 214 which appears to be a large print of a photo over looking site 19's main administrative area as an explosion is just beginning the photo is impossible to fold or cut in any way, and nothing can adhere to it. But it is otherwise unremarkable. No source of this object is recorded in the database. Merry Christmas. All right, fantastic. Let's see what we got going on here. No. 5 Council is watching. Dr. Bright. No. 5 Council is watching. Always. A mine, mining a mine. Wrong rhyme. Ignore what I said before. 2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-4. Puttmater wants to know if SCP-173-D is canon. In your head it could be. In your head canon it could be. All right, fantastic. That is another SCP story down the line. Let's see what's up next. Oh, all right. Our next one on the list is an actual SCP document. So we're gonna be reading, do, do, do, SCP-2. Is it 2536 or 2365? 2536. So let's rewind the URL all the way to the SCPwiki.net. SCP-2356-2536. Damn me and my wrongness. 2536. Here we go. All right. Do, do, do. 2536, 2536, 2536. Ah, yes. My memetic liquid. Mm, yes. Anomalously delicious. A dramatic reading of SCP-2356. 2536. 2536. I got it right. Item number. SCP-2536. Object class. Keter. Special containment procedures. As the nature of SCP-2536 makes physical containment impossible, containment procedures will instead focus on the manner in which personnel should conduct themselves in the event of a manifestation. To enforce this, as of 12-23-19, redacted. Copies of these containment procedures are to be distributed among personnel currently in the employee of the SCP Foundation during the month of December. In the event that SCP-2536 appears before a member of personnel, they are to refrain from accepting any offered gifts, leave the vicinity of SCP-2536, and immediately inform their supervisor. Gifts presented to personnel by SCP-2536 are only to be accepted under strict testing conditions, and after testing are to be confiscated immediately. Description. SCP-2536 is a Christmas tree with purple and white decorations. Approximately two meters tall and composed primarily of plastic. A speaker is attached to the base of SCP-2536, which loudly plays the song, I wish it could be Christmas every day, by the band Wizard on a constant loop. SCP-2536 only manifests during the month of December, and its status during the rest of the year is currently unknown. During the month of December, SCP-2536 will appear before at least six members of Foundation personnel, one at a time, regardless of distance between them. No reports have been found from the public or elements outside the Foundation, indicating SCP-2536 appearing to anyone apart from Foundation personnel. Upon appearance before a member of personnel, a gift in the form of a wrapped present consistent with traditional Christmas practices will be located beneath SCP-2536. This gift, hereafter referred to as SCP-2536-1, will contain an item which the chosen member of personnel greatly desires, whether consciously or subconsciously. In cases where the desired item would be too large to feasibly fit inside SCP-2536-1, its interior dimensions become significantly larger than its exterior ones. If the targeted member of personnel ignores SCP-2536 and leaves the area, SCP-2536 will disappear after three to five minutes. SCP-2536 was discovered when it manifested in the office of Site 26 director Letter during a lockdown after containment breach of SCP Boop Redacted. At the time, SCP-2536-1 contained and required materials to temporarily shut down SCP Redacted and return it to its chambers. Inspection of SCP-2536 by nearby researchers revealed the following note attached to SCP-2536's base. Here at Data Expunged, we love nothing more than to watch the good work you fellows do. Your company and moral integrity, your empathy and moral integrity are an inspiration to us all. And so, in this season of giving, we have decided to present you brave heroes who do so much for us with a gift of your own. Enjoy! Merry Christmas, OSN. Hey, chap, by the way, sidebar, does anybody know what OSN is? What is that in SCP Universe? OSN. Witness is 20 minutes late. SCP-1993 is cool for Christmas. We're doing that one. OSN, OSN. Well, we'll come back to what the OSN really is, but in the meantime, Addendum 2536-1 is a sample record of SCP-2536-1's contents. Site director Letter received materials required to shut down and subdue SCP Redacted. Dr. Landis received several excited Welsh Corgi puppies. DNA analysis revealed the puppies were all genetically identical. That's wonderful. D-25372 received a middle-aged woman and a pre-adolescent boy later identified as D-25372's wife and son. After a brief interview and dosage of Class A amnestics, they were returned to their home without incident. Redacted received a gold wristwatch. Dr. Ryan's received a copy of this file and containment procedures relating to SCP-2536. Note that this incident took place before December 23, 1990, food redacted, and Dr. Ryan's was thus unaware of the nature of SCP-2536 upon its manifestation. New containment procedures were implemented as a result of this incident. Agent Raleigh received unknown. According to recovered footage from the area, SCP-2536 manifested while Agent Raleigh was infiltrating a suspected location of Marshall Carter in dark activity, thus revealing his location to them. Agent Raleigh's current status and location are unknown. D-39122 received Will C incident 2536-1. SCP Boop redacted. We need to see SCP-2536-2. So let's check out the incident log, shall we? Incident 2536-1 on 1229-2000 redacted. At Site 9, SCP-2536 appeared before D-39122 and several other D-class personnel outside of testing hours. Before security could intervene, D-39122 received several anomalous weapons from SCP-2536-1. Anomalous weapons. There's a footnote here. Let's see what kind of present they got. Do-do-do. Weapons show the capacity to disintegrate security personnel upon direct hits or cause spatial warping inside their bodies upon glancing blows. Oh my lord, that's pretty hardcore. So anomalous weapons came out of the present box, distributed them among nearby D-class personnel and attempted an armed escape. Although this revolt was quickly put down by on-site security, hostilities resulted in several Euclid and Keter level containment breaches necessitating site-wide lockdown and causing significant personnel casualties. Incident 2536-2 on December redacted, 2000 redacted. At Site 11, during testing of SCP redacted, SCP-2536 appeared before it. SCP redacted retrieved a small device from SCP-2536-1 consistent in appearance with its own native technology. Upon activating the device, SCP redacted disappeared completely from Site 11 and is now believed to have transported itself to an as of yet unknown location on the planet. It is now confirmed that SCP-2536 considers objects and entities under containment by the Foundation to be Foundation personnel. That's rough, buddy. All right. Let's check out the old chat for a moment. We have 682 and Brighton 784 and one of they got another 682 or 106. It's good to be honest. It's sweet. We all want the weapon. We love containment breezes. Putinator keeps saying, GOO LOG! I guess that's where we're putting them. Fantastic. So, uh, Dillagaff, I'm gonna warn you, buddy. I saw you in the chat and I am a big fan of Baileys. Don't get me wrong, but you can't have a Christmas set of readings without reading SCP 1933. So yeah, we have to go there. But I suggest earmuffs for this portion. Earmuffs. SCP 1933 pulling it up. Go! Jack Everett's has arrived. That's all right, buddy. We're only a couple readings in. We've got a long way to go tonight. We're doing them all. So, SCP-1993 has an image. So, I'm going to show you that image very quickly. Oh, who is this gentleman? Look at him. Santos L. Claus. Let's get to meet SCP 1933, shall we? Let's just expand that a little bit for reading ease. Excellent. Fine. Check out the chat. Oh, don't drink it. Oh, man. Here we go. Item number SCP-1933. Object class. Safe. Special containment procedures. SCP-1933 is to be kept in a standard low security cell equipped with basic furnishings. It is to be provided with two liters of Irish whiskey, 500 millimeters of double cream, no less than 48% fat content, 25 grams of powdered sugar, and 20 milliliters of refined vegetable oil on a daily basis. As SCP-1933 is unwilling to engage in basic hygiene, it is to be forcibly stripped and showered by level three personnel on a weekly basis. And its beard shaved and nails clipped on a monthly basis. Its soil clothing is to be considered highly flammable and is to be incinerated as a fire hazard. Description. SCP-1933 is an obese middle age Caucasian male in a constant state of moderate to severe alcohol intoxication. SCP-1933's body fluids, including both intracellular and extracellular fluids, consist entirely of a substance identical in composition to the alcoholic beverages known as Irish cream. The substance adequately fulfills the functions of the fluids it replaces in SCP-1933's tissues, despite the fact that it renders normal biochemical processes essential to life impossible. Foundation scientists have been unable to determine how it manages this. SCP-1933 subsists on a diet of cream, Irish whiskey, sugar, and refined vegetable oil. The basic ingredients of most commercially produced varieties of Irish cream. It prefers to supplement its diet with small amounts of various herbs and flavorings, usually coffee, but these are not essential to its survival. It is incapable of digesting anything that is not a standard ingredient of Irish cream, including Irish cream which has been prepared beforehand. SCP-1933 will display effects consistent with acute malnutrition. If its blood alcohol content significantly falls, but significantly falls below or exceeds a range of 15 to 20 percent. The typical alcohol ABV. Well, why can't I remember what ABV stands for right now? The typical ABV of Irish cream. SCP-1933's bodily fluids are safe for human consumption if intake is limited to 25 milliliters or less within 24 hours. If a subject exceeds this limit, there is a significant risk that all of their bodily fluids will be transformed into Irish cream. This substance does not fulfill the functions of the fluid it replaces, as it does in SCP-1933. As such, it is instantly fatal. The probability that a subject's bodily fluids will be transformed into Irish cream increases by approximately 5 percent for each additional milliliter of SCP-1933's bodily fluids consumed. It is not known if the bodily fluids of SCP-1933's victims would have the same anomalous effects as SCP-1933's bodily fluids if they were to be consumed. Prior to containment, SCP-1933 was chronically homeless, sleeping either on the street or in derelict buildings, wearing a Santa Claus suit at all times, stealing money with which to purchase the specific items of food and drink necessary for its survival, collecting its bodily fluids in bottles. It would attempt to break into people's homes between 2,300 hours on December 24, Christmas Eve and 500 hours on December 25, Christmas Day and place cruelly wrapped bottles of its bodily fluids alongside other wrapped presents, with the intention that they would later be unwrapped and subsequently consumed. SCP-1933 claims that this activity was motivated by a benevolent desire to give people presents and refuses to acknowledge that its bodily fluids are fatal to consumed in large quantities. It has not been determined whether or not it is genuinely unaware and unwilling to accept that this is the case, or whether it is trying to conceal malicious intentions. However, the general consensus among Foundation staff with 70-SCP-1933 is that the former is more likely. Gross is what I say to that. Gross. All right, let's take a look-see, look-see into the chat and see how we're doing tonight. Goodness is going to make a Christmas dinner made only of SCP objects. Does it have to be Christmas SCP objects? Or can it be just any SCP that's food related? Because I tell you what, the Infinite Cakes would be a great party trick. Ripsana. Giggity. Oh, I'm not, I'm not gonna go there. Y'all the messed up. Y'all the messed up. Got problems. Hello, Inhabited. Happy holidays to you too. Welcome to the Type 42's Holiday Special. Yeah, skip the Baileys. Not a bad idea. SCP, I see what you did there. All right. Let's start looking for our next reading, shall we? Take this over to the SCP list. And you know what, you know what, I'm thinking our next thing is going to be do a certain tale by a certain militant group of artistic vagabonds. This tale is called Are We Christmas Yet? Go. I'm glad you approve, witness. I'm glad you approve. Do they are We Christmas Yet? You know. Am I drinking 195? I don't know what 195 is. Let's take a look safe, shall we? I've got a moment. I want to hang tight for a second for reasons that are offscreen that I don't wish to disturb. That I'll tell you guys about in a moment. You may hear some sounds. Ignore those. There's nothing going on behind me. Just ignore that. Nothing. Mysteries abound. All right, we're clear. What's my little buddy, Jackamo? Today you learned. Site 42 has a resident cat. He's amazing. SCP 195. Oh, what? Why is there a stylized, racist, racist character? That's insensitive. Oh, but it is medicinal whiskey. Oh, I can buy that. What does it do to me? Wait, what does this do? They will react as if they drink gut rot or moonshine. Heightened awareness. The effect of whiskey was advertised. Heightened awareness. Ooh, special powers. And then, oh, then they don't look so good. So no, we're going to skip that one. That's not at this party. Oh, 195 is not for parties. Uh-uh, uh-uh. Not my friend. Not my deal. Okay. We have a bobble emoji. That's fantastic. I'm looking forward to when Site 42 reaches the level where they let us do, uh, sponsored content where they let like, it's kind of like Patreon, but specifically for YouTube. So you can like, throw five bucks a month at the channel to help the budget things. And then you get like custom emojis. Because we're going to do all the SCP emojis. I'll just tell you that right now. That's what's going to go down. Sponsors are going to get like super SCP and Site 42 emojis. It's going to happen one day. We're not cool enough. We are not cool yet. YouTube doesn't give us that kind of power yet. So is the cat 529 or 759? I don't know the answer to that. Forged of fire. What anomalous property do those cats have? Oh, 41-j. There's so many cats. I don't know what to do about this. Kitten skips. There's so many kitten skips. What's this all about? Object class, Peter. Oh, half a cat. I don't know why it's half a cat. That's weird. And then our second cat could be 759. 759 is a sour. That's not white. What is this sourdough starter, wheat and flour. I don't get it. Oh, 795. I messed up. I did it wrong. That's the thing that happens all the time. Don't do the things that I do because they are usually wrong. Oh, wow. 795 looks a lot like my cat. Okay, what's going on here? What does this cat do? Change the physical form of any creature it observes. It can make telepathic suggestions to humans within the range of effect. Well, that's certainly not my cat. And I should not go feed that cat right now. That's totally not a thing I'm going to go do. I'm just kidding. They've already eaten. So let's see what we got. Final chat check before we go into our next tale. Object class Peter. Sure. What do I want for Christmas this year? What I would like for Christmas is a good year for site 42. I want to see us catch up to Volgen and East Side Steve in the SCP reading game for subs. I want to go past them because I am competitive. Let's do all of it. Let's do all of it. Let's get all the subs. We'll catch up with GMO Don. GMO Don's the goal. 500 K subs. Why not? We need patrons that way next year's holiday special. You guys who didn't see the reading stream yesterday. I get all the patrons in the world and Volgen gets all the patrons in the world. Steve gets all the patrons and we become like an SCP trio of like reading everything and being the best guys. I want to fly him from Ireland to California and do a very Ketter Christmas which is the SCP Christmas special as a live variety show with music and video and it will be a live thing like they do for the holidays on Netflix. So if I can get enough to buy him a plane ticket and for him to buy him a plane ticket, we're going to have a live show next year. That's the dream. It's going to be produced. I'm going to hire a camera crew. I got ambition baby. Jack. Holy shit. That'd be dope. Thank you Jack. How clutch saved Christmas is a good one. Actually, we're going to read that today because that one's a blast. Eat all the other SCP 2 YouTubers for Christmas dinner and I'll gain their powers through cannibalism and I'll become a Wendigo. You know how it works. Actually, Ghost says, Site 42 productions. I, okay, so here's little thing because someone mentioned this on Reddit for my one cake Q&A. They're like, hey dude, you got a bunch of like other stuff that's not SCP on your channel. You should see to that and I was like, oh, you're right. I have all my resume stuff back from when I was back when I used this mostly for acting resume stuff rather than SCP stuff. So I moved all that to a personal channel and my name Sherman Christensen is a YouTube channel now with all my personal acting stuff. But later on I'm also, I also got a channel for Site 42 studios and so when I start doing original content that's not SCP, I'll do it over there. That way it doesn't plug up the SCP channel. So people who like Site 42 can go over there and people who can enjoy SCP can just stay here or you can be a cross-platform Site 42 fan. Nice. Good call. Site 42 production, Site 42 studios next year. It's going to be crazy. It's going to be amazing. We're going to make all the things, short films, live action, live action SD locks proposal, day will break all over the place. It's going to be nuts. Going to be nuts. Vulgar Christmas special. Dead serious. We're going to do it. So now with all that braggadociousness let us begin. Jack, you got to cast me in that. You are local. North, yeah, if you're in the northern California area, Site 42 productions is going to be a thing. You can get hired. You got to have be responsible though. We only do high quality work. Get to studying. Take some drama classes. Maybe learn how to hold a boom microphone or edit video or something. Learn your skills. Site 42 productions. It's going to be hiring as soon as this earns me any money which it doesn't yet. Yet. Okay. Are we Christmas yet? I keep getting distracted by chat. It's holiday reading time. Are we Christmas yet? I still think this is a terrible idea. No, it's awesome. Like deconstructive or whatever. Overgang and Joey stared at the enormous red bobble that towered over nearby buildings, pensively sipping eggnog. I got scotch that's close to no. It did several hundred miniscule trees hanging off the side of it. Overgang posed a question. So it's an hour and ten to midnight. What happens when it's Christmas? Presence happened. Presence happened. Presence happened. Everywhere. Every elaborate. It literally crosses Christmas miracles. Elaborate more. Sick children will walk. Tiny Tim will get his parents. Scrooge will see the light. The town we filled with cheer and goodwill. Children will run downstairs only to see Santa Claus pop up the chimney. Rich people will let beggars into their houses. Every church bell will ring 12 times. A cranky old man will smile for the first time in 20 years. Kids will ice skate while laughing happily and be joined by their otherwise dismissive parents. Snow shall fall down, leaving beautiful white fields by morning. John McClain and Hans Gruber shall fight a war of wills. Little McCully Colkin will fight off a pair of thieves. The Grinch's heart will grow three sizes and Charlie Brown's sad little tree will get the love it deserves. Peace on earth. Goodwill of man. The perfect Christmas. Well that sounds lovely. They have a bit boring. And of course since Christmas is about the little baby Jesus and the mother Mary, every virginal female in the city will spontaneously give birth. Whereupon the newborn is promptly crushed by a pile of gold, frankincense and myrrh. That's more like it. Ha! Are we Christmas yet? Those rascally rogues always making everything. I'm gonna plus one that story. I don't think I've plus one that before. Yeah, if you like the story I read, go to the wiki, plus one that sucker. Let's up the holiday cheer up in here. Do they know it's plus one after all? What do you mean I'm not signed into the wiki? I'm signed into the wiki. Connect using Facebook. See, I would join our week cool yet to be honest. Epic virgin birth crushed to death by gold. That sounds lovely. Hey, yet in town made it. Have you ever tried scp-2755? From number I don't remember what that is. Can you elaborate on it a little bit? Who's boring scp's? This is funny. I think we're joking. I think we're joking and we gotta be cool. Cool, cool, cool. What's going on? Relax, don't do it when you gotta go to it. Relax, don't do it when you gotta call. I should make an outro to my normal videos telling people to upvote the main site article if they enjoyed it. That's a great concept. Are we Christmas yet? Okay, finally I'm logged in and now I can upvote this sucker the way I wanted to. Yes! Are we Christmas yet? Is now plus 95. You guys should go do it too. Here we are. We start to look for our next reading of the evening. Going over to the list. Ah, here we go. So this is funny. Dr. Clef has two stories. There's how Dr. Clef contained Christmas and there's how Dr. Clef saved Christmas. So let's start with Dr. Clef containing Christmas, shall we? Let's start there. Banana's like, yes, do the contained one. We shall. Do they know it's Christmas after all? So now, fun thing about iPads is you always have to do a little more work to type. How Clef contains Christmas. How Clef contained Christmas. This page doesn't exist yet because it's supposed to be how Dr. Clef contained Christmas. Curses and draft. Let's fix that, huh? How Dr. Clef contained Christmas. Inhabited. Ah, you're not spherical. Now I know who you are. Welcome to Site 42's holiday special. All right, here we are and we are going to do how Dr. Clef contained Christmas. And by the way, just before I start, I want you to know we are currently at 16 people viewing the channel. That's the most views a live stream has had. Cheers, Site 42 family. We skipped locked on site like Christmas a lot, but Dr. Clef, who worked at Site 19, did not. Dr. Clef hated Christmas, the whole Christmas time, but please do not ask him. He might rip out your spine. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be perhaps that his hat was too tight, but I think the most likely reason for this was the hate in his heart for all of the skips. For whatever the reason his hate, heart or hat, he stood there on Christmas Eve suspicious of all that. He stood there on Christmas Eve suspicious of all that. Staring down the hallway with a rigid concerned walk at the warm lit containment cells all in his block, for he knew every skip contained on his block, was busy now with the whole Christmas crock. The specimen of SCP-610 is hanging entrails on the wall. He puzzled over this behavior, but who should he call? Still puzzled, his fingers were nervously drumming. Other skips are preparing. Is there a Christmas breach coming? Then he growled all alone in the observation room. I must learn how to stop this Christmas breach soon. For tomorrow he knew all the skips down the block would wake bright and early, might break all their locks, and then oh the noise, oh the noise, noise, noise, noise. That's one thing he hated. The noise, noise, noise, noise. Then the skips, young and old, might break out and feast. And they'd feast, and they'd feast, and they'd feast, feast, feast, feast. They might feast on researchers, guards, and the director. Something that Dr. Kleff would not tolerate in this sector. And then they might do something he hated. He did. Every skip down in 19, Ketter and Euclid might break out together with SCP-513 ringing. They'd run hand in hand, and the skips would start killing. They'd kill, and they'd kill, and they'd kill, kill, kill, kill. And the more Dr. Kleff thought of this whole skip Christmas evil, the more Dr. Kleff thought, I need to stop this upheaval. We can't afford a K-class scenario now. I must stop this Christmas breach from coming. Then he got an idea, a sexy idea. Dr. Kleff got a wonderful, sexy idea. I know just what to do. Dr. Kleff smiled in his room, and he requisitioned a D-class jumpsuit and a broom. And he chuckled and clucked. What a great fucking sham. With his get-up and broom, it'll look like testing is planned. All I need is a helper. Dr. Kleff looked around, but since helpers were scarce, there would be none to be found. Did that stop the old doctor? No, Kleff simply said. If I can't find a helper, I'll call a favor instead. So he called his friend Dimitri and evacuated the base. Then he armed the site's nuclear device, just in case. Then he took guns and amnestics from the site armor and his vault, gave some Dimitri and said, blow the site if I'm caught. The nukes down the hall, that's the plan B if I'm dead. Duh, said Dimitri and followed where it led. And Dr. Kleff gave a sigh and headed on down toward the cell block where Skips lace a snooze all around. Mmm, yes. All their cells were dark, eerily quiet was the air. Skips were all dreaming horrific dreams without care. When he came to the first little cell on the square, there's a stop number one, the old Merthless Doc hissed. And he climbed through the vent amnestics syringe in his fist. Then he slid down the air ducts. He was quite actually, quite deft. If the old Grinch could do it, then so could the Kleff. He got stuck only once for a moment or two. Then he slid it out of the ventilation shoot where peculiar stockings were hung in a row. This contraband, he grinned, are the first things to go. Then he slid it in slump with a smile most unpleasant. Around the room, and he took every unauthorized present, candy and spiders, tinsel and crud, stillborns, ornaments, mucus and blood. I'm just coming up because this is making, don't want to sleep, don't want to put it to sleep. And we're back. And we're back! Where was I? I don't know. Ah yeah, stillborns, ornaments, mucus and blood. And he stuffed them in trash bags, then Kleff a bit later, stuffed all the bags in the incinerator. Then he slunk to the control. To the control. He, then he slunk to control. He'd locked down the whole block. Had his dick been anomalous, he would have locked up his cock. He closed every bulkhead as quick as a flash. Why, that doctor even locked in dumpster for trash. Then he burned all the contraband with victorious glee. And now, grinning Dr. Kleff, I'll lock down SCP-173. And Dr. Kleff grabbed the clease and he started to open when he heard a small sound like the chill of an omen. He turned around fast and he saw a small skip. SCP-191 was at the door, who was not more than four. Dr. Kleff had been caught by this anomalous bell, who'd awoken quite slit out of her cell. She stared at Dr. Kleff and said, A D-Class, why? Why are you locking down our Christmas things? Why? But you know, that old doctor was so smart and slick. He thought of a reply and he thought it up quick. Get the fuck back! Get the fucking fuck back! Then he brought out his gun and fired a whole lot. But the skip was so quick that it dodged all his shots. It slashed and it gashed against Dr. Kleff's skin. But that crafty Kleff knew she was close enough in. Then he pricked her with the amnestic syringe. She blinked, her chopped her. She stopped as she faltered. Dr. Kleff gave a shove and he shoved her right in right over the rambling into 173's pen. Then he gathered his keys and locked up containment. He thought it was quiet. He thought it was quiet, the Kleff entertainment. With blood on the floor, he gathered himself, keyed up the radio and leaned on the shelf. Demetri come in. I got hurt rather bad. Be on standby. There's a few more things to be had. Dar, said Demetri, finger on the red button, watching the cameras for a signal or something. It was a quarter past dawn. Lockdown was in full effect. All the sips still contained. All the locks were all checked. Packing up his shit, Dr. Kleff headed back up, back to his office to start clean up. He with a crooked smile, he grinned at his work. He laughed as he limped and he said with a smirk, poo poo to the skips. Poo poo to the skips. He was mirthlessly humming. They're finding out that no Christmas breeches coming. They're just waking up. I know just what they'll do. Their moths will hang open a moment or two. Then the skips down in 19 will all cry, poo poo poo. That's a noise, grinned Dr. Kleff, that I simply must hear. So he paused and Dr. Kleff put his hand to his ear. And he did hear the sound was starting to flow. It started in low, then it started to grow. But the sound wasn't mad. Why this sound sounded merry. It couldn't be so, but it was merry, merry. He stared down at the cell, walked up to Kleff, popped his eyes. Then he shook what he saw was a shocking surprise. Every skip down in 19, the tall and the small, were singing without any breeches at all. He hadn't stopped Skip Christmas from coming. It came. Somehow or other, it came just the same. And Dr. Kleff with his bloody chef looking low stood puzzling and puzzling. How could it be so? It came without killing. It came without breeches. It came without blood destruction or screeches. And he puzzled three hours till his puzzler was sore. Then Dr. Kleff thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Skip Christmas, he thought, isn't something to lock up. Maybe Skip Christmas, perhaps, it's a chance to make up. And what happened then? Well in 19, they say, that Dr. Kleff's hateful heart melted that day. After a minute, when his heart didn't feel quite so tight, he whizzed past the control room under the locks from last night and opened the cells. Let loose all the skips. Gaining the contraband, he did not burn in his trip. Mary Skip-ness. Skip-ness, Skip-ness is the word I said. Mary Skip-ness, said Buddy Kleff as he came down for hugs. Mary Skip-ness said the skips as they hung back with some snugs, with tentacles, claws and hands, and redacted. All grudges on Christmas were simply retracted. Wait! cried Kleff as he shook the hand of a spook. I should call up my friend before he blows up the they all died. The end. Very merry Christmas tale. Dr. Kleff sure is a rascally one. I can't wait to see how he saves Christmas later on. But now, let's put away our script. Have another slink of delicious fluid. And check out the chat. Gotta go. Nuke some nations. A beautiful tale, says witness. I thought this was about how he contained Christmas. Well, he did contain Christmas, but the Grinch stole Christmas then he gave it back. So he uncontained it after he contained it. Oh, but not literally Christmas. Just the Christmas celebration of the skips. Slightly different. And Dusty, welcome to the stream. That is a great Christmas story. I'm so glad we did that one. It's a very warming tale. Or my U.S. allies, oh God. Tent and tale, and bright catches all the grief. Witness, I am glad you love my enthusiasm. I am happy to give us all the character voices and weirdness. It just brings more to the story. And let me drink a little more enthusiasm now. And fill up a glass. A better story than the Grinch, says not spherical. Then everything blew up. Dimitri. Duh. I love, I love his doll. Let me just fill up my glass. Fill up my cup. Hey. Mazel tov. Lheim. For everyone who wasn't here before that tale, welcome to the Site 42 holiday stream. We're still sitting about 15 viewers. That's a whole lot of people. Sherm, you should sing for us sometimes, says Witness. Actually, I'm hoping one of these skips has a song. Because like, I am a train singer. I did like choir for seven years. Triple threat, what what, acty. Act, acty, sing, singy. Do all the things. That is actually why I don't have any formal voice acting training, but I do have a lot of singing training. So diction is very paid attention to for theater and such. So let's go look at the next list of skips. The stream only gets better with every glass and memetic liquid. Perfect. Perfection. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. So that was amazing. That clef containing Christmas. Oh god, I forgot to plus one it. Everyone go plus one it because it's amazing. Let's not forget to be cool and plus one the stories we like so that everyone's happy about that. This is at plus 63. Now it's at plus 64. Now I'm going to go back and read the next one. So now we're reading one of my very favorite Christmas SCPs. Sam Bromsky net neutrality. Yes, net neutrality. Pay attention to it. Good things happens. Every YouTuber has mentioned net neutrality in their videos. And yes, that's because it's important. This moment in the middle of my video at 62 minutes is for net neutrality. A, get Agit Pai out of my shit. He's messing with my shit. I do things on the internet. He's messing with my shit. Let's get him out of my shit. After that last stream, I will not be monetized anyways. There's no way this is monetized after clef containing Christmas. So yeah, just Agit Pies in my internet shit. Get him out of my internet shit. Damn it. Thank you. Okay. Banana says Patreon. By the way, this advertisement continues. If you like site 42 things, subscribe button over there. Subscribe button, like button, discord, Patreon and merch. Help support the channel in any of these ways. And I appreciate it. I really just appreciate you watching. Watching is the number one way to contribute. Watching is everything. But if you do more things, more things always help. Build the channel. All that good stuff. ShamWow. Okay. So the thing about ShamWow. My advertising. My advertising. Advertise. All the things. Fc. Agit Pai is the real Grinch here. You right. You right. SCP-173-Christmas-Spec-Tac-Ular. Banana, you did not realize that you had the power of all advertising. I have to advertise the thing apparently. The SCP-173 Christmas spectacular. I can't find it. Why don't we Google it? I just did it. Christmas Eve spectacular. That's why I messed it up. Okay. Wow. This only has 37 plus ones. No, like wait till I read it. Make sure you like it. Okay. So the thing about Final Destination is the first movie is magical. But after that, eh. Actually no. Two is pretty good. It's when they got to like the roller coaster one in 4D that you're just like you guys are out of ideas. But the first two Final Destinations. Amazing. Have any of you heard of Lobotomy Corp? Nope. I have not. But we'll have to look it up later. Oh my god. The picture's changing. Why? Don't. Oh. Whoever did that you suck. And by you suck I mean you're brilliant. Why did you do this to me? Oh. I was not expecting the picture to change on the page. I just turned over. That was weird. Okay. That didn't happen. Let's just cut, rewind time, start over. This is the SCP-173 Christmas Eve Spectacular. Oh. Before I do this, Dilliga, how much have I drank? I am in one finger of scotch. So now we're on our second finger of scotch. So not very much. If you gotta be like, if you guys in the stream right now are thinking, Hey, is Sherman drunk or something? No. This is just how he is. Especially on the stream when he knows it's demonetized so he can just curse. Cause eh. Family friendly is for the video essays. But when there's a, when I'm not going to be monetized anyways, this is just for the art and for you guys. This is for, no. What? Whatever. Oh no. Keep your fingers out of my scotch. What are you doing? See Jops? Stay out of my scotch man. Making it weird. All right. So SCP 173 Christmas Eve Spectacular. It was Christmas Eve at site 19. Christmas trees entered the foyers, reeds and ribbon decorated the halls. And alone, Minora sat in the center of the cafeteria so that researcher Polanski wouldn't throw a hissy fit. Hell, even 682 only killed three people that day as his gift to the foundation. Everything seemed just fine. That is, except for one lone soul, SCP 173. 173 had seen many Christmas Eve's come and go at site 19. Many usually don't. The only people 173 saw were the usual batch of D-Class doing their cleaning duties. Of course, he would always try to give them their Christmas hugs, which they would always fall head over heels for. They would even leak love juices from time to time. It was a small gesture, but it was warming that 173's heart that his effort was appreciated, going these links just for him. However, this Christmas Eve felt underwhelming, to say the least. So far, the D-Class who had usually come to clean his cell were nowhere to be seen. Usually they would have sent in the D-Class by now, but it was already two o'clock, as shown on his painted on watch. 173 began to worry, scraping along the sides of the room in an attempt to come up with possible scenarios. Some theories range from possibly being at 6-8-2 cell, to the D-Class being with their families. While it was within the realm of possibility that there was no scheduled cleaning of his cell for that day, 173 knew in his heart that it couldn't possibly be that simple. As he was just about to concoct another theory, the lights turned off and the door to his cell were opened. 173 was delighted, as walks around the facility were rare recurrences. During these walks, he would pretend that he was walking on the beach for hours at a time, soaking up the sunlight like no tomorrow, with a pretty girl at his side. Of course, 173 decided to take the opportunity by the neck and head it off into another room. As 173 began his stroll through the halls of site 19, 173 realized he had gained some weight, so he decided to go on a small jog instead. He had put off his New Year's resolutions this long, never really getting the chance to get this kind of exercise in. During his jog, he saw something peculiar, a room with a light on. During these walks, all the lights would be off, presumably to let the researchers get some sleep. However, the door to the room was somewhat open, and he could hear noises coming from the room. Decided to put off his jog, he approached the room, growing louder and louder. As he opened the door, he saw researchers, janitors, and security guards give a hearty scream of joy at his arrival. The room itself was filled with the usual Christmas decoration fair, along with many presents gifted to 173. As shown by his lifeless face, he was overflowing with joy. Of course, the first gift 173 received was becoming the grand champion of the staring contest that they were having. It was easy for 173, of course, since his eyelids were non-existent. In fact, it got to the point where their eyelids got tired and they announced when they were going to blink. He thought they were weirdos, but loved them for that reason. After the festivities, including the presentation of presents and eating a lot, it was his cheap day. He wanted to give everyone a hug. There was a problem with that, however. He has never hugged this many people at once, so he felt fairly awkward trying to hug even one person, as there were at least 20 more people watching. But as his problems, but as if his problems were being telepathically analyzed by the gods, the lights within the room went off. Perfect. During this time, 173 hugged everyone in the room, everyone giving at least some love juice to him. A few minutes after the party ended, the guards came in with the cart, or as he liked to imagine it as, his bright red Ferrari. As 173 was being carted down to his cell, he reminisced about everything that had happened that day. The presents, the cheering, the hugs. It was more than anything he could have imagined. It showed him that the foundation really did care for him, even if it was minimalistic most of the time. It showed 173 that, despite not knowing a motion, despite not showing a motion, those close to you will always appreciate you. In short, he was happy. They're so cute. 173 Chan, I call him in this one. Oh my god, he's so good. Everyone needs a hug. A big, fat, happy 173 hug for all of you. Everybody needs a hug, says Sea Jobs. No, stay back, says Banana. Witness can have a hug from 173 Chan. It's okay. He'll be fine, I'm sure. You can share your love juices with him. Oh wow, this is getting weird. I feel so used. Forge of Fire says about losing his love juices. 173 only wants hugs to get love juice. That's using you girl, using you girl. He is just using you girl. You need to find a better hug giver. 106 is sitting there and he will give his juice to you. So there you go. You don't give your juice to 173, you get your juice from 106. That juice burns a little bit. It's okay. You kind of like it if you're into the weird stuff. Oh, why? Site 42. We do the weird stuff. Anyways, fantastic. Another wonderful tale. This one's at plus 37 to start with. I'm going to plus one it up to 38. If you feel like the 173 Christmas Eve spectacular deserves more pluses, go plus that sucker. Go plus yourself because we're having a good day. Everyone deserves some pluses. Here's some pluses for you. Here's some pluses for you. The chat's in this corner. Here's some pluses. Everybody gets pluses. Everybody gets pluses. Pluses. Brilliant. Boxes. Jesus. Oh man. Fantastic. Excellent. So let's take a look at our next Christmas tale. We're going to move on to a nice simple one now. The next one is called Ken's Festive Stories. So let's look up. Starting with the URL. Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete all the SCP URLs and all the other letters. That's too many. Ken's Festive Stories. I picked the right site this time. Ken's Festive Stories. Circa April 2016. Oh my god. Okay guys. So here's a fun one. Ken's Festive Stories is two stories. The first one is a poem. I will read you a Christmas poem. But the second one, we're going to have a sing along because it's the 12 Days of SCP. So I can't hear you all singing, but I'm going to sing and I'm going to imagine you guys singing and we're all going to pretend that we're doing this because it goes all the way through the frickin 12 Days of SCP. So you should go to Ken's Festive Stories and get your lyrics ready. And we're all on this. We're all in this together. We're all in this together. Um, and by the way, oh, oh, Site 42 Discord Server. Check it out. When it comes time to sing, I'm going to put on the frickin voice chat in the Discord Server. So if you're in the Discord Server, you can sing along with Ken's Stories. K E N S Stories. Festive Stories, Ken's Festive Stories. So I'm going to read the poem, but when it's time for the sing along, I'll turn on the microphone and we can all do this together. And we'll see how terrible this turns out with inner lag. It'll be amazing or terrible, but it'll be great. You know, you know. Oh, do it. Horrible singers. It's going to be through a computer, through an iPhone. No one's going to get your vocal quality. All right. So first of Ken's Festive Stories is The Man Who Stole Christmas. A Children's Story. Here we go. Festive Cheer. Ah, this page is a collection of the many festive works that I, Dr. Ken's, have written over the seasons. I aim to add on more as I write them. Enjoy and try not to take them too seriously. Happy Holidays. Festive Cheer. Number one, The Man Who Stole Christmas. A Children's Story. All hail Christmas Eve, the most wondrous of times, full of roasted of toast and the most festive of rhymes. With some fresh eggnog and toddy and cocoa for mommy, a Christmas like this is not shoddy. But one Christmas day almost didn't come clear when a man of great horrors came to spread fear, a scalpel and grin, and a swig of some gin was all that was known of this demon of sin. Who knew where he'd strike that merciless fiend, for not but fair chance could help intervene? The good ol' foundation, with much radiation, did try but found only frustration. So who was to say Christmas that season of wonder, since those who had tried were all torn asunder? The fanged G.O.C., or maybe M.C. and D., the world heard its breath at who it could be. Then the deadliest moose with their antlers aflame came charging on in to change of Doc Man's game. With a nay and a kick right into Man's dick, moose brought down the surgeon right quick. And so Christmas was saved with a kick to the nuts, the peasants so happy left out of their huts, they crowned the sweet moose with a freshly whipped moose and feasted like kings on great goose. So all hail the great moose, lest you find their quick ire, for if they're not praised, you'll die in a fire! Or maybe by crushing, perhaps even flushing, but it's best just to leave them a-blushing. Snap, snap, snap, poetry slam! Oh yes, Dr. Ken's story's round one, the most Christmas story ever. Yes, that is the most forge of fire. It is the most children's story of all time. Best ever. Okay. Everybody here, it's time for the sing-along. So you're here, I'm here, we're the 76-minute mark, this is on, extra-normal event, singing event. So here we go, I'm coming over to the Discord server. And the biggest voice server we have is 30 people, which is fine because we only have 14 people watching the screen. So we're good. Go to the Big Lobby, and I got voice connected. And so when you get in, we'll start this. I've got ShleepBurb on a, not a microphone. That's a mute button, you're good, I can hear you, you're talking. Let me turn up that volume. Bum-ba-ba, volume's up. Okay, anyone else joining the Big Lobby on the Site 42 Discord? I'm gonna give you guys a moment while I drink muscatch. Not spherical, has joined the carol. Excellent, fantastic. Welcome to the carol. Sup. Sup! Man, I can hear someone now. And Jack is here, Jack is here in spirit. Hey, Cage983, welcome to the channel. And Jack can sing in spirit. Too many people sleeping in siege off his house. Just, just, just whisper sing. Very quietly in spirit, it'll be great. It'll be great, it'll be wonderful. So I'm gonna give you guys another couple seconds to join the channel. Hey, Witness made it. Welcome, Witness. Fantastic. To the tail, cause I can't find it. What you wanna go to is scpwiki.net slash kensfestivestories. And it's k-e-n-s hyphen festive hyphen stories. Oh, and there's the link in the what, general? In the discord general. So if you are in the site 42 discord server, link below. The general chat channel has the uh, what's the word I'm looking for, link. And then I have this, and you have the voice channel. Five of us are in the lobby. That's way more than zero. Five is way more than zero. All right, so are you guys ready for the most discordant discord sing-along ever? Be able to sing along to this. If you just, if you just sing like this, it's cool. Just like whisper sing. Crosby Nash stills and young. Crosby stills Nash engine young. Crosby still Nash. That's a bare naked ladies Christmas carol. Thing you learn right now? Bare naked ladies, my favorite band. Fight me, BNL's the best. Hands down, best Christmas album ever made. Okay, so everybody ready? 12 days of scp. Five, four, a five, six, seven. On the first day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me another round of catar duty. On the second day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the third day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me three new clasties, two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the fourth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me lower lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the fifth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me five MGM guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the sixth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me six floating iPods, five four lazy guards three new clasties, two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the seventh day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me seven creepy crawly six floating iPods, five MGMs four lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the eighth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me eight puffer kitten, seven creepy crawly six floating iPods, five MGMs four lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. All right guys, we're speeding up. You ready? Hyperspeed. On the ninth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me nine apple seeds, eight puffer kitten, seven creepy crawly six floating iPods, five MGMs four lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the tenth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me ten clever prankings, nine apple seeds eight puffer kitten, seven creepy crawly six floating iPods, five MGMs four lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the eleventh day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me eight codder pillars, ten clever prankings nine apple seeds, eight puffer kitten, seven creepy crawly smoke floating iPods, five MGMs four lazy guards, three new clasties two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. On the twelfth day of Christmas, the O5 gave to me twelve days of headaches, eight 1111 codder pillars ten clever prankings, nine apple seeds eight puffer kitten, seven creepy crawly six floating iPods, five MGMs three new clasties, two cups of joe and another round of catar duty. And we all said duty. We all said duty. You heard it. That was the site 42 singers. Thank you guys so much. That was incredible. That was fantastic. That was pretty good. Oh no. I completely botched the ending. That's cool. I wrecked so many of the last of the 12th day and I think I skipped the ninth day. Did I skip a day? I don't know. Maybe. That was really fun though. Thank you guys for participating in that with me. I am now going to sign off the voice chat. That way we can go back to regular chatting and story time. But that's very fun. Say bye everybody. Cool. That was incredible. I am very pleased with how that turned out. All right. Wait, where's my thing? I had a thing. It was a thing. That's my chat. There we go. See jobs. I'm super glad you enjoyed it. Russell enjoyed it. Bye Russell. He was here for a minute. Time lag sucks. Yeah, time lag makes it hard, but we persevere. That's going to sound great. That's going to sound recording studio quality on playback. I'm sure. That was a blast. I had fun. Y'all had fun. Oh, Russell's not bad. Oh, he said bye y'all for the recording. I get it. My bad, Russell. I'm glad you're still here. We couldn't do this without you, buddy. Okay, so that was Dr. Ken's festive stories. And dear God, I'm plus one-ing the hell out of that because that was super fun. Plus one. Oh, I already plus one it. I can't plus one it again. It's at plus 25, so if you guys want to plus one it, Dr. Ken's festive stories, they're pretty amazing. Dr. Ken should write more things. All right, so let's take a look at what's next on our Christmas reading list. Let's go with, I'm getting a lot of beats from the discord. I think I, I think now that I've activated discord, it's all like, hey, hey Sherman, pay attention to me. Sherman, pay attention to me. So let me just mute that for a second. That way we don't just hear discord beeps again and again. Muted. Beautiful. Cool. Sitting back, getting on to the next tail. And our next tail is going to be, I believe, let's go with the night before redacted. The night before redacted is going to be our next tail for the evening. Do-do-do-do-do-do. The night before redacted. Boom. Let's go. I'm almost out of my drink. Time for a refill of memetic liquid. These stories are much, much better with memetic fluid. Right. Let's settle down to the night before redacted. It was the night before Christmas at site 88, and Robert the Guard was running quite late. All the skips were contained in their cells with such care that everyone hoped, as did Bob, they'd stay there. His first order of business was to check on containment. He changed channels instead to the night's entertainment. It's a wonderful life. He'd seen it before and fell asleep then for an hour or more. There were those who had hoped on this night before gifts that Robert would draw the short straw on the ships. And plans were hatched over seven months previous by a group of some interest with conspirators devious. To release all the creatures contained at the site to fight the foundation on Christmas Eve night, they knew that their plan wall courageous was dumb, but worth it they thought if it releases just one. Gates one, two, and three were as easy as pie, but they met resistance at Gates four and Gates five. Bob startled awake at the sound of alarms and shouting in death and of course firearms. He switched his monitors checking all of the frequencies, hit the red button for containment emergencies. On screens he could see as they just made it in. No one could get out but inside they could win. They planned well for that and taking their chance. The first cell on the right at the placard they glanced and looking in they saw their one seven three, saw Euclid and thought how bad could it be? The statue Bob knew so easily beaten but these stupid folks hadn't been to that meeting. So as the last of their number closed his eyes in a scent, Bobby blinked once and the last one was bent. He panicked then and fell to the floor. Scramble had made his way outside his door. The statue knew that's right where he would be and Bobby fell backwards attempting to flee. He fell backwards attempting to flee in case you didn't catch that. Bobby fell backwards attempting to flee. It pressed on his windpipe strained vocal cords. This is it he imagined and thought of last words. Merry Christmas he croaked as it began its attack. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good grand scene. Site 42 the night before redacted. That was short and sweet I liked it did a good job. It's at plus 35 now it's at plus 36 and if you like it the night before redacted is waiting for you to upvote it. Let's go to the chat for a little bit. Irish Cream Santa Russell we did that one already you'll be able to see it on the playback. Back in 0696 doesn't mean milk his body's mainly bone so I'm sure his bones are strong enough as it is but we should be nice to 096. Russell's yes the memetic fluid is a win. Oh we are very nice and careful during recontainment good. The night before data expunged oh is all right so wait is that another one or is that just a joke I'm not sure there might be a night before data expunge I don't know. Upvote the skips you love yeah brilliant oh fantastic fantastic friends just a joke okay good we'll move on to the next tale the next tale that we'll do on this Christmas Eve and by the way we're like now that this is recorded you can watch it again on Christmas it'll be great fireplace scotch stories you guys did a carol it was amazing so this is holiday season anybody scp fans can watch this all holiday season and then next year's will be better but we can still watch this one it's still cool whatever it's timeless it's timeless not spherical we're glad to be part of the community we're glad you're a part of it too we are the scp community okay hold on hold on a second at 93 minutes I'm gonna talk a little bit the scp community is probably the greatest art community of all time of all time because a we have standards you know and also because you know what uh creative comments it's a collective it's an art collective you got the writers who write the things for the fandom but you've also got the fandom can become writers at any time you know you love a tv show but you can't write for a tv show but right now you can practice and get good enough to write an scp I did it I wrote an scp that's pretty cool I didn't think I could do it and then I did it and I feel like the bomb diggity and by the way if you didn't know that scp 3086 death of the author etc that's me I wrote that what crazy so anybody can write an scp and it's got so many different facets and there's oh my god and anybody can make stuff for it and we're able to expand because there's not copyrights in the way so guys like me can read scps on youtube and we can start to build a following and make a living and do more art things and we can make more things and vulgand can make things and east side can make things and jaymo can make things and everybody can make things how incredible is that that's so cool and there's so many facets and noom is making that game the 30 the 308 game that's gonna be amazing the container breach that's amazing all of this stuff can be made it's just so cool the scp community is so cool what color are my eyes asked ghosts and my eyes are brown hair eyes brown full of shit you know up to here that's right so yes that is my rant on oh my god I love the scp foundation like I have used scp monsters in tabletop games when I was GMing I was like you know what I'm just gonna make this an scp campaign for like a couple of weeks and it's amazing and I want to make voiceover demos and people are like hey these voiceover demos are good let's do a youtube channel amazing and we want to make live action episodes and people are like on Netflix should pick it up and it's like Netflix can't do nothing it's not copyrighted let's Patreon on a bunch of artists and we'll get them to do it because I got a film crew waiting I don't know if you all have seen my Sherman J. Christensen youtube channel or facebook page because that's my personal stuff with all my like filmmaking stuff and I know filmmakers I know costume makeup people I know like real people in this business if we had the money to hire them we could do stuff because those kind of people don't work for free the only way to motivate people to do things is money oh and ethernet cable net neutrality net neutrality we need to be able to access each other if we're going to keep the community going yes this is 20 minutes later 30 minutes later more net neutrality get on it this is going to date us 2017 December that is when this happened and you know because we keep mentioning net neutrality ah frickin egg so let's see Ken's festive stories was amazing the night before redacted was amazing um this one's called the ballad of Santa Troy and so I need to get on this like that sounds fun the ballad of Santa Troy what is this all about blah blah blah blah blah blah like I'm gonna have to go through this video later on and like go through and make sure all the stories actually have a link to what's the phrase I'm looking for a link to where the stories happen in the story because we have these great chat tangents and I love chat tangents and people will watch them all the way through but also people probably want to know where the stories are so the ballad Santa Troy Santa Troy all right so this is another twas the night before Christmas I told you we were gonna get a lot of the night before christmas's so this is another twas the night before christmas that's okay twas the night before christmas is great it's like the main christmas poem it's everything it's everything memetic liquid and by the way uh banana cleft saves christmas is definitely on the list in fact we're gonna do that next I was just trying to space it out from cleft containing christmas so we didn't double up on cleft film containment breach run yes not spherical I am familiar with containment breach run and I'm deeply interested in keeping tabs on how it goes apparently there's been like some development hell or something um I was talking to vulgar about it or something I'm not sure because he did like the poster for it or something which is really cool I love went like go vulgans a awesome graphic artist so he did like their poster for containment breach run whatever and that's so baller baller baller baller baller but uh so yeah I can't wait for that to come out I want to see what happens but I would also like to participate in their film or do my own we'll get people we'll do a thing it'll be great we'll we'll kiss we'll smooth we'll hang out now all right so the ballad of Santa Troy twas the night before christmas and all through the site everyone was busy typing up skips well except right pixel and moose fought to keep peace in the chat for the christmas trolls had awoken poor ones at that kaolin was writhing though snuggled in bed for fears of awful skips were dancing through his head drew bear sharpened his paws and zen fluttered her wings preparing for the newbies among other such things when out from the wiki there arose such a clatter and cactus yelled buy my spines what on earth is the matter to the forums they flew rejecting gaff me in a flash to see to their horror scp 231 musings like a rash the questions of debt expunge briefly fluttered on the page for an eternity these would come but must never be allowed to age when suddenly there came to the mods the leaguer dies a man in an ornate sled that made them cry with joy of course twas an english professor clad in red that would soon get him laid i don't know what his shoes look like i'll assume they were swayed his writing was indistinguishable indistinguishable it was indistinguishable his writing was indistinguishable his writing was indistinguishable it was dope as hell they knew immediately his identity it could only be troi l santa troi the staff all called with glee what have you brought us unfinished business three santa troi stood there proudly majestically sporting his beards from his sad king fresh articles that quickly dissuaded off ears on cleft on sorts on soulless all gates i got you these articles now read them in rate on eric on weizong on anksha and crane prepare your eyeballs because i'm making it rain on esco on vivax and the rest of them too i gave you the articles now you know what to do we were all in awe we all were in awe we all were in awe of santa troi's swag he got back in his sled and shut up his bag troi al grabbed his pen and refilled it with ink and then he was gone before we could blink everyone signed sadly for santa was gone but then we heard a voice from the great beyond all right you lazy fox it's time to write merry skittness to all and to all a good night have all the staff members involved it was an out of universe christmas story that was really cool do okay i'm checking out the chat and we got oh a jar of pickles made it hello a jar of pickles saying indistinguishable with sherm yeah that's a problem all right jar of pickles got the membership and something went wrong that's weird how do we're trying to figure out ah yeah so jar of pickles is trying to figure out what's going on with the site uh we've been chatting back and forth yeah i'm not sure he's uh yeah we'll talk this over in the discord later because it's probably like a technical thing or like a thing or like you didn't apply to the site in a way but in a way but something i don't know people the site thing you have to read the instructions very carefully because they're really really retentive about the instructions like every instruction read every instruction and make sure that it's all frickin for sure knowledge oh no sherm is looking at the chest think of something bubbled and funny to say i like that that's a good one that was fun to say indeed herb smokes weed confirmed i don't i don't know how you confirmed that i'm i'm a drinker i'm drinking there's no weed here wait i don't know we're checking time zones time zones yeah so for me it's california time it's 7 45 p.m this is easy i could do this all night i mean we've already done it for an hour and 45 minutes good job site 42 we're having a good night but i got people in the stream i can do this forever let's keep it going let's go on the next story that was the ballast santa troi it's currently at plus 33 remember to go up vote santa troi if that's the thing you're on board for sherm thoughts on the cross crossover category on the wiki oh my god i love the crossover category it is hilarious uh actually uh our friend of the site uh scp staff radio staff member uh angry hedgehog i made her look at the slash uh crossover section she's gonna do a bunch of videos from that because she loves that kind of stuff she already did a couple of the the slash fiction the thick the fanfic version maybe not the slash fiction that's a different fiction i gotta get my fictions right i'm an old man i don't understand this fanfic stuff y'all make it weird y'all make it weird i don't know what you're doing um no she did the fan fiction contest but we both have to do the fan fiction and the crossover contest because that's gonna be hilarious so now is the moment you've all been waiting for we've had clef contain christmas but now clef is going to save christmas so let's go up to uh how dr clef saved christmas not copyright don't copyright me i'm just doing a song singing a song it's pretty good ignore me while i'm typing and stuff no i broke it i have to start over why why do you do this to me hey damn you internet saves christmas dr clef saved christmas man everybody in the chat is just like what up dog uh 420 j is uh 420 j o'clock wherever you are apparently just so you know just so you know uh jar pickles wants to know what time we are on discord all the time random times it's kind of off and on but it's a better mailbox than the comment section of the videos so that's a better way to get a hold of someone if you're looking for them discord is like the best discord i didn't even have a discord like i've never been on discord until pabs approached me he's like yo dog i will make site 42 of discord i'm like yes pabs i don't know what a discord is but let's do it and he did and now we have this amazingly well organized discord because i ripped off the format of scp declassified discord if you like my discord for site 42 go to scp declassified because their discord is also baller meanwhile how dr clef saved christmas that's what we're doing now it happened in nor not spherical confinement is the tits i say all the time uh you look at the patreon links vulgan needs patrons i need patrons bung needs patrons those are that's my three if you give anybody your money me because me come on me vulgan because come on vulgan vulgan because confinement is amazing and also if uh angry hedgehog gets a patreon then uh yeah well i'll hype her too because yes hedgehog if you can get bung to hang out with us more power to you like we'll see what happens that would baller baller we're all friends here scp friends scp friends run in the world for the hype train that's right all right now on to our next tale friends how dr clef saved christmas after this break brought to you by mimetic fluid oh that's good memes uh so how dr clef saved christmas the senior staff of site 19 huddled in the conference room warming themselves from the chill air of the cold mid december morning coats and hats hanged on the wall and over the backs of chairs ice and snow dripping onto puddles on the tile floor as their owners drank strong black coffee from syrophilm cups and chatted idly none of the new widest emergency meeting had been called nor why on such short notice so early on a sunday morning right in the middle of the holidays the muffled conversation came to a halt as site director ives entered the room carrying a stack of notes in a reel of slides and approached the podium in the front the site director's suit was wrinkled his tie undone beads of sweat on the balding man's forehead though the heater had yet to kick in oh that was a mimetic fluid reaction my apologies got a deal though the heater had yet to kick in as he shuffled through his papers before dressing the group good morning everyone i've said thank you for coming in on such short notice i know it's early to discuss and most of you had the day off but we've got quite a lot to discuss and there's a lot of work to be done i've just finished up a conference call at the o5 council and i'm afraid i've got some bad news i've paused and shuffled through his notes again before continuing at o5 32 greenwich time we received an emergency distress signal from area 36 near the magnetic north pole security personnel reported that unidentified aircraft had been observed entering the zone of exclusion around scp 4040's main facility and they believed a hostile attack was imminent ives paused three minutes later we lost all contact with area 36 we attempted to race scp 4040 directly and got no response as well we went to high alert at that time we dispatched mobile task force alpha 7 from montreal and they arrived at the scene at approximately 09 30 i've set up the reel of slides on the projector sitting on the front desk and pulled a screen down from its place along the wall adelstein could you get the lights please adelstein flick the switches by the front door casting the room into darkness as ives turned on the slide projector when mtfa 7 arrived this is what they found i've pressed a button and a slide popped up on the screen to speak depicting a single small house alone on the arctic tundra what remained of that house anyway the windows had been smashed in the door kicked open its interior lay bare to the cold arctic winds and the perpetual winter twilight fixing sleep mode arctic twilight a giant candy cane standing in front of the dwelling had been smashed in two and whatever color the building had been before it was covered in a bizarre sort of ooze dark and red the trip from the rooftops and formed crimson icicles hanging by the dozens over the awning it wasn't much better inside i've slipped to the next slide of the little house's parlor furniture overturned and broken cabinets emptied onto the floor had hazardly everything covered in that strange thick red icor icor icor icor one of those words the annex was the same except the bodies the next slide showed a tiny humanoid no more than four feet tall dead on the floor its skin was horribly burned and fused together like it had been set on fire its flesh fused to its tiny green outfit and it's also soaked in red we found 16 scp 4040-3 dead in the annex 184 unaccounted for no survivors that we've been able to locate the entire on-site security team was also kia what about site scp what about scp 4040-1 asked dr johnson as of this time mt of a7 has been unable to locate scp 4040-1 or his remains i've said as he flicked through several more slides eat everyone showing a similar scene of devastation to the arctic workshop and the re-it all nine instances of scp 4040-2 are missing as well i'm afraid i've signaled for adelsine to turn the lines back on as he shut off his projector sorry i didn't know who was talking so i missed that voice area 36 is a total loss and almost all of scp 4040 is either dead or in the hands of a hostile power as you all know it's now slightly less than five days until this year's scheduled occurrence of event 125 hyphen pinnacle in light of the damage to the facility even before able to recover the surviving elements of scp 4040 i'm afraid that i've stopped in mid-sentence as he looked out over the researchers i'm sorry he continued after collecting himself i've seen a lot of shit go down with my day and i never thought i have to say something like this but it looks like we're going to have to cancel christmas the room was a war with worried excellent exclamations cancel christmas no presents will i tell the kids please everyone calm down i've said as the group fell silent we're collecting the available evidence as fast as we can but what we need right now is an information management neo five council feels that given our minimal lead time procedure 1843 scrooge haymarket four that's the elves union goes on strike story by the way is the appropriate cover story to disseminate to the media we should be able to cover this up and keep the civilian world from getting too worried about santa's absence until we get a substitute toy delivery up and running dr jones raised his hand do we have any suspects yet all we know for sure is it wasn't the goc and it wasn't the reds i've said we've been in contact with jenny van mosca since this whole thing started and there is much in the darkest we are it doesn't look like a ci job either the science just aren't there there aren't any bullet casings either whoever took this place down they did it without firing a single shot dr michael spoke up next what about that who's all over the place in the photos it's not elf blood is it no thank god i was replied that's the strangest thing of all really the lab boys are still trying to figure it out but as far as we can tell it's tomato sauce ordinary run-of-the-mill five cents a can tomato sauce with a little extra salt anywhere there'll be time for q and a later we've got to get started on this i've just picked up his briefcase from next to the podium set it on the table and open it up to reveal several manila float folders packed with pre-prepared documents this is what we'll be working from and what i want you to disseminate to your personnel or under your authority anderson get this out of the press asap the la times the new york post cbs mbc abc bbc cbc everyone yes sir anderson said jinkins get the afl cio and the teamsters on the line seem to arrange some sympathy strikes with the elves union right away boss jinkins replied clef i want you to liaise with the republican party have gold water someone give a prosanta speech there was no response a confused mutter filled the room as researchers looked around for the missing administrator has anyone seen clef oh god all right so this story is long as fuck sorry to take a chapter break have a drink talking to chat a little bit so welcome to the chat don't drop my phone on the ground that's a bad idea sure i don't do it hello chat it's good to see you guys again hello chat room mild friend yet thanks russel that's where we start hello hello russel perfect forward to my fire is making the savior of all aquatic is it is an aquaman is that aquaman you're telling me about ghost 007c asked if i can show us our cat shaped anomaly all right so uh does everybody want to meet my cat is that what we're going to do on the stream right now welcome to my home scp addition say hello to my cat that's russel's like yes dilligas like yes cat time i show us your cat everyone wants a cat okay welcome to approximately the two-hour mark of site 42's holiday special otherwise known as show us your cat one moment i will go find jackamot talk amongst yourselves i'll be right back ladies and gentlemen i present to you site 42's resident feline jackamot this is jackamot and i can only hold him downstairs for a short time right now because when the living room is rearranged he gets really scaredy so he's hanging out on my lap for a moment but he's already trying to scatter because jackamot hates it when there's extra things in the living room so like he's already attempting to flee bye jackamot thank you for saying hello to our guests and now i'll be back one more time because i am actually allergic to cats i have a cat i'm allergic to cats if i touch my face i will die so brb one more time after i wash my hands because cat dander is my kryptonite and then i'll turn off this hallway lights and kitchen lights and i won't break anything everything's fine nothing is ruined back to the chat chat about the cat the thing cat with ocd yeah my cat has ocd jackamot sees this i don't know if you saw the behind the scenes but this is all of my camera and laptop were on an ironing board being held up and so he has already tried to make it to the litter box and he did which is that was the anomalous thing when i told you about my cat earlier he went to go use the litter box and he's already really scared of the living room so we didn't want to freaking out by like loud noises while he was you know doing his thing where did my scotch go don't lose my memetic fluid ah so let me check out the chat real quick i was able to color my affection cat but that's because i had a from a kitten dog a kitty totally not an eldritch abomination pining to playing to obliterate the universe as we know it of course he's not of course not no no no not at all the cat does look like a reality band like 795 how did i find the scp foundation asks a jar of pickles it's funny i don't remember i actually don't remember how i found the scp foundation it happened a couple years ago and i i don't remember what scp i found first or anything like that but i started using the scp foundation for my games for my tabletop games we were playing a dresden files fake core system tabletop game and i did a couple like three or four week campaigns where we investigate an scp foundation facility they was pretty sweet let's see having a cat while i'm allergic that is uh dedication it is i mean to be wholly honest i had never owned but my wife has had these cats for years when we started dating they were kittens and now they are full grown cats and i just always take my uh what's the phrase i'm looking for allergy medicine i always take my allegra and it keeps me from dying just by being in the house but if i touch my face life over it's done jackamo and jackamo sister dora are my babies they are wonderful and uh i can't bring dora downstairs because she hates being picked up she will never be picked up so but they're twins so you've seen jackamo dora is very similar let's see we're getting good research information on this memetic liquid i know it does all sorts of things much properties can't stop me the fake fireplace yes this high definition very high quality anomalous fireplace that i have locked dimensionally inside my television set uh site 42 discord is the real scp 001 confirmed confirmed scp 001 is site 42 discord server ha dusty says that's a pretty dangerous medic agent your cat has there maybe you died who touched your face with the cat fur oh that's dangerous a jar of pictures asked if i mean super jesus well i couldn't mean bread jesus bread jesus is amazing uh the foundation brainwasher no they didn't they wouldn't do that no they didn't amnesticize me after they hired me that's not a thing they would do come on a ton of people start spamming if a ton of people start spamming the chat then i won't be able to catch up but that's fine was a game something about me containment breach is a internet game so that's on the internet the game i played was a tabletop game so it was like dungeon and dragons but easier because fake core is somewhat simpler and then it was based on the dresden files series of books because i love the dresden files they're an amazing series of books if you don't read the dresden files read the dresden files they're amazing jib butcher is my homeboy and then so it's a tabletop game based on the dresden files but because i was gming i got to put scp stuff in there because i wanted to because it's my game and my players loved it because it's amazing time to wear a tinfoil hat yes uh sure have i ever watched the videos of a really cool youtuber known as nightmind nightmind i think he's the guy who did like the 20 minute like welcome to the scp video right that was a really good video tengu made it to the stream hello tengu my favorite scp's jar pickles ask and this will be my last question before we start the next chapter of the story my favorite scp's are as follows s it's a tie it's a three-way tie scp 3999 because i love super meta things scp 3043 because i love meta and film noir things and scp 008-j because jeff is like the best dude on the planet and i've recorded all of those scp's so go to my archive after the stream check out 3999 3043 and three not three 008-j jiff's amazing i love jiff jiff it's so cool i might just came to see the jits from your facebook smokey face he's wonderful jeff is the nicest guy he's my favorite dude yes russle jeff must be a reality better that's the only way he can get into all these situations 2006 is really good spoopy too spoopy for you he's really cool delagaf oh 20 minutes that's a really long time delagaf i'm so sorry you can catch it on the back half because this is a really long story like we might not be done by the time you come back this might be a three hour stream like we still have 12 people that's as many as people's we started with so as long as you guys are still entertained i'm still going this is a marathon i still got a half a bottle of scotch we can do this all night all night psych 42 holiday party what we ended the last part of the chapter with has anyone seen clef Fitzroy the elf woke up with a start as a bright light shown in his face his joints ate his skin still burned of the hot liquid that the men in green costumes had sprayed him down with and his head was hounding he opened his aching eyes slowly trying to adjust the glare of the bright lights he looked around he found himself in a massive room with high ceilings and distant walls his feet were shackled to the chair in which he sat and a second chain bound him around the waist leaving only his arms free in front of him sat a long bench what of five stretching the length of the room before it sat scores of other elves shackled as he was of each of them as if as in front of him sat a curious collection of accessories a hot plate a spoon a potato peeler a kitchen knife and a nice chest Fitzroy struggled with his swimming head as he tried to remember how he got here it had been just another morning in the week before the big day just another shift making toys for the bosses big delivery at least it had been until the lights went out and the men in green busted down the doors he could see a few of them marching back and forth between the benches even now their green dresses or togas maybe dragging on the floor behind them they're matching spiked crowns obscuring their faces and shadows and each of them wearing a tank over their shoulders connected to a nozzle that's viewed at that burning hot red fluid that it scalded his friends to death as they grabbed him and injected him with something before tossing him in a sack Fitzroy didn't have time to contemplate the circumstances of his captivity or what fate had fallen the boss before a loud and evil voice rang out over a loudspeaker hidden in the rafters echoing throughout the cavernous building good evening my happy little elves the voice declared i'm afraid there's been a little change in the work schedule this holiday for the next couple days you'll be working quadruple ships meal and smoke breaks are canceled and you won't be making toys anymore you'll be making something different the speaker snickered to itself we've got a big quota to make in time for the big day and i'm counting on your magic little figures to make it happen and once this is finished you can all go back to your happy little elf families safe and sound oh and by the way the voice added i have your boss and his delightful little animal friends in captivity as well if you resist or fight back or don't work your hardest well i can't guarantee that i won't be eating reindeer sausage this christmas the speaker laughed his wicked cacophonous fat howl echoing over the booming speakers now then no time to waste get started you'll find the recipe guide in the cooler start by warming your hot plate up to medium-high then go ahead and add a few tablespoons of butter chapter and chapter and that was a short chapter what that was easy peasy oh my lord oh yes good chapter this is next chapter shorter mom this next chapter is short i'll tackle the next chapter two let's keep going this is an easy chapter let's do it let's do it extra extra shout out to the news agent of the dozens of software businessmen passing his stand on fifth avenue special edition elves union pulls out of negotiations lbj demands immediate resolution to christmas catastrophe a man in a trench coat fedora hat flipped a nickel to the newsman as he grabbed a copy of the new york times off the stack unfolding it and reading it as he walked christmas and perilous strike continues elves threaten to stay off job until after new years first cancel christmas since 1896 the santa claus is there still a reason for the season the man folded the newspaper wherever he crossed 59th street approaching the throng of people outside of f a o schwarz with with no kindly up to deliver toys for their kids the parents of the city had gone mad the man peered in the window at the shelves almost bare as men ensues practically engaged in tugs of water over stuffed animals and barbie dolls you must have more bicycles in the back do you have any more jack proton toys i'll pay anything anything whatever she's paying for that doll i'll pay double the man was standing by the door with the box and teddy bears and auctioning them off to the eyes bitter as the man in the coat made his way past people were waving bundles of cash in the air a look at desperation in their faces as if they were bidding on the last loaf of bread in manhattan the man decided to take his leave before the police showed up and found his way to a phone booth on the corner closing the door behind him to keep out the winter chill he fisted his pockets to change he died seven digits and dropped a dime into the slot the phone rang five times for his intended contacting picked up hello doc it's me who is this it's it's nobody listen krunkite was right this place is going insane so we're gonna have to speed up production we need at least 10 000 more units we need to be able to get them on the shelves by christmas eve are you crazy i can't work that fast this is our golden opportunity doc every toy store in the island is sold out all these people out here got to get something under the christmas tree will put now that sand is out of business that's something could be your toys what if something goes wrong you know this technology isn't perfect yet relax doc there's a once in a lifetime shot if we play this right every boy and girl in manhattan is going to be playing with one of your toys and once the war gets out this could be the year the whole world learns the name one that sang mints oh snap one attainments gonna fill in the gap oh see jobs your bottle of crown is empty no that's terrible i'm so sorry not spherical sent me a friend request on discord we're gonna be buddies soon my man buddies russell drinks the beer i drink the beer while i'm not drinking the scotch i'm a equal opportunity drinker do all the things mimetic liquid for the win friends on discord we're all friends on discord now and by the way buy it from now on if you're in site 42's discord server i don't care what you're drinking if it's alcoholic it's mimetic liquid that's the term now we can't change it it's canon head canning confirms forge of fire is about to get attacked by something dangerous gang well oh my lord we have 20 likes on a live stream that's never happened before welcome to a world where we have people watching the show this is amazing oh my god what why would you swirl an empty glass that's silly let's get some more mimetic liquid more mimetic liquid slow and steady drinks the race 21 likes what the hell is this this is a new world order i don't know what's going on site 42 is the most popular hangout spot holiday party all right so here we go 22 likes who threw that dislike can't please them all i'm glad to please most of you at least at least we're not in negative something dear god swirling an empty glass is just the mimetic effect of mimetic liquid you're right sea jobs you got this unlock the following chapter of the thrilling how class saved christmas dr jacob andrew's flashlight in hand made his way through the dark cramped basement of site 19 most people barely even knew the basement existed let alone had a reason to go down there and root around the old stacks of spiritualist quack artifacts and mothball of electrons from world war two and reams and reams of handwritten scp files from the days when things like radium and daguerreotypes were considered anomalous andrew's had his reason nobody had seen dr clefton's the meeting yesterday morning everyone assumed he'd gone home or walked out or holocaust one of the labs or something andrew's knew better passing the shells preserved egyptian mummies and turning left at the olmec head olmec head that's a legend to the hidden temple reference i think andrew's reached the brick wall and counted off one two three four five six bricks before he grabbed on the masonry and pulled the wall opened up instantly and the smell of saltwater and kelp hung heavy in the air as andrew's descended the stairs into the hidden grotto in each site 19 andrew's remind the seashell motif along the walls turning up his flashlight as he approached the well-lit arithbottled stairs a new smell struck andrew's as he entered the main room of the massive cave the undeniably distinctive scent of simmering cream and the frizzle of potatoes gently sauteing in bacon grease and the undeniably savory aroma of mericinera mericinera site 19a mercenaria mercenaria site 19a the unique species of quahog quahog found in the waters of this grotto the mandarin tunnels and low ceilings of the chowder cave could be next to impossible for strangers to navigate dutcher andrews was no stranger and in 30 seconds flat he found himself in the kitchen of this subterranean base where dr alto clef dressed in his black chef's coat stood over the stove stirring a pot of flipping potatoes in his skillet a dozen spice jars open on the shelf beside him i thought i'd find you down here alto andrew said the inward focused chef chef clef chef clef chef clef lowered his spoon into the creamy broth simmering on the stove dove and brought it to his lips needs white pepper he muttered to himself we've been worried about you alto have you been down here all night i gotta get this batch just right jake up clef replied we both know the only person in the entire foundation qualified to deal with the man behind the santa napping you don't know it was him andrew andrew said just because the north pole was covered with tomato sauce doesn't mean there's supposed to be nobody even eats that shit anymore clef responded angrily turning away from the stovies and pulled the potatoes off the flame who else could it be he has been seen since that cookoff in road island five years ago the one that almost got you killed don't remind me if i had a half a second sooner with the bossly i would have stop alto andrew said you haven't put on that code in five years now you're not getting any younger and well we all count on you to keep this place together santa counts on us too clef said those goc bastards would have turned the north pole in the glass years ago if it weren't for us keeping an eye out for the old man and we've let him down and if there's anything anything i can do to help him even means go back on my promise never again and i'll do it andrew sigh i can see you've got your heart set on this though the doctor turned around and began to make his way back to the stairs wait clef shouted i i could use your help just like old times huh clef smiled make sure the chowder clopped his the fuck is it called chowder clopped her the fuck is it your clowder clopped her no your clowder clopped her no get out of here get your to clowder clopped her out of here we don't need your to clowder clopped her clef smiled make sure the chowder copter is fuel up and ready to go oh and see if you can grab some white pepper from the site pantry chapter ends let's check out the chat while we get rid of that your clowder clopped her she clef clef clef chowder copter that's what the word is that's what the word is the bird is the word the chowder copter is the word yeah chowder clef's the layer chowder clef chowder copter chowder copter chowder clef that's that's where we are now i oh guys i i had heard the phrase chowder clef before like i had heard the name chowder clef before but i didn't know what it meant i didn't know it was a real thing i don't know what's going on this this canon is new to me i don't know what's going on everything is weird roaring anomalous fireplace a little bit of a present here merry christmas stocking with scp 1933 on it a delightful toy truck for the children's so what would we make an anomalous stocking if a stocking were anomalous what would it be what would what would be anomalous about a stocking i have no idea i have no idea i'm just thinking out loud just thinking out loud forge of fire is going to die tonight forge of fire is being stalked by a terrible thing uh that is a dangerous game a stocking that you turn down upside down and it's endless coal a pocket dimension with endless candy or coal either way it's full of something and you probably don't want that something not spherical check out the video of robo dude versus pesterbot thank you for enjoying that video i loved doing that because the pesterbot is like the best character on the entire wiki hands down you can fight me pesterbots amazing and now we return good gamer guy says that's just all your t-shirts and i love the one that said did you just assume my object class i know right i wanted to like tumblr that a little bit i thought of that and i was like oh my god that's a t-shirt that's the thing did you just assume my object class what did did you just assume my object class i i just thought it was fun i just threw it on a shirt like i have too much power i have a t-shirt press i have a website that lets me make t-shirts of anything and it's it's just too much power when you're able to make a t-shirt of anything you think of that's too much power for any man to have banana is going to say a thing one more time what's the last thing banana is going to say net neutrality it's so important 146 minutes into the stream net neutrality do it again net neutrality everywhere boom also this is now that we're doing net neutrality vulgan is here at the stream welcome vulgan to the holiday of site 42 we're doing the thing yeah we've been here all night like it's a great party like i don't know how many people have come and gone because i can't see the youtube statistics but we are like eight stories in but and a christmas carol we had a great sing-along earlier like it was crazy talk let's see what's the next chapter of this story uh oh my god okay the next story the next chapter of this story is really really really really really long it's a very long story we're about to go into this chapter really long so let's uh is everybody ready for this okay the last thing we ended off on is make sure the chowder copter is fueled up and ready to go oh as he can grab some white pepper from the site pantry on to the next chapter of how dr clef saved christmas general thomas dawes made his way down to a hallway deep within the secret recesses of the north american aerospace defense command on its left he was followed by researcher james special liaison from the foundation head cannon already james taloran boom it's on on the right followed another military man his uniform green in dawes's blue colonel arthur t backer special liaison from the global occult coalition general researcher james said i'd like to state again my formal opposition to the gfc having an official presence here the position on scp 4040 is well established and it simply isn't conducive to our purposes here the global occult coalition stands by its beliefs that the rogue entity doesn't be kte 4040 dash one is a clear and present danger to the international security general colonel backer stated with a smirk but be that as it may is the full intention of high command to adhere to the terms in the march 1953 remember random of understanding with the foundation regarding that entity i don't know if my kids would agree that santa claus is a rogue entity colonel general dawes says the trio approached his locked door at the end of the hallway and the general rang its doorbell but let's see if we can find him first before we figure out what to do with him a guard on the other side of the door answered it area attention the airmen shouted signaling the dozens of airmen in the dimly room to stand and attention before the general ordered them back to their posts james looked back and forth taking the surroundings as best he could beneath the dim red lights men sat and rose at radar terminals each of the scrutinizing half a dozen or more of the tiny green monitors half a dozen officers sat at banks of phones most of them in the middle of discussions with washington or mosca or beijinger who knows where this is the where the magic happens gentlemen general dawes said he swept his arm out of the room out over the room most people think all we do here at norad is watch for a soviet airstrike that's part of it sure well we've got huzz huzz dids huzz dids is a word that's not a word well we've got hundreds of top secret radar arrays all over the world that feed directly into this room we could probably break deep the department of defense's budget just sitting here around the clock tracking every last bird in the sky all around the world general laugh to himself let's know what this equipment is for this is magic radar you see magic radar colonel becker asked skeptically the high command was not aware nor at it was in possession of magical equipment oh it's not the radar itself that's magical colonel general god does replied these radar arrays are specifically designed to track flying objects powered by magic that's what we use this system for on this day every year to track santa's sleigh the general turned to one of the men on the phones any news from the kremlin captain yes the officer replied stifling a chuckle at his own joke no sign of the big man if you don't mind by asking researcher james chimed in how is the needless going to help us figure out who kidnapped santa or where they've taken him as soon as we got the call from the white house that santa was missing general does answered we started pouring over the logs from these arrays sure enough we had some readouts whoever got ahold of santa's reindeer got on that sleigh and flew it into the middle of nowhere in wisconsin by the time the greenberries got there though they were long gone they must have loaded the sleigh and the reindeer onto a truck or something and moved them by land from there anyway it's the morning of christmas eve now of course but christmas day officially started in the western pacific about seven hours ago everyone knows santa does his work at a stroke midnight and we've got 17 midnight's to go so why james asked well whoever's got santa they haven't made any ransom demands our guess is they want him to do something for them this christmas why take the reindeer in the alms as well they want the elves to make something and they want santa to deliver it and he'll have to do that at midnight as soon as he makes his move we'll know where it is deliver what colonel banker asked guns bombs germ warfare this sounding more and more like a pizzicato situation general that's just wild guessing james we can't just jump to conclusions here i will not be second guessed by a cut rate mad scientist researcher colonel backer snapped mad scientist that's a laugh coming from a john wane want to be like you after the mess you made of scp 1609 i wouldn't trust you to neutralize a stray dog i've read your dossier james you're not even qualified to be in this room why don't you go back to site 82 and talk to your what was it toilet ghost that's butt ghost to give you asshole this is researcher james ghost for researcher james ah i can't i can't live i'm hurt i'm hurt so bad i need a memetic fluid to live memetic fluid come to me jack is back watching the stream yay butt ghost okay here we go we're back butt ghost gentlemen general dosh shouted you can't fight in here this is the war room james and backer stared silently at does a mixture of confusion and disdain in their eyes my wife my wife loves that movie does said general shouted one of the airman terminals we've got something the three rushed over to the crowd and crowded around the airman's chair where a single blip was moving toward the top right of one of the screens what are we looking what are we looking at here airman curdle backer asked it's over the midwest now sir airman replied super something's being definitely magical hitting six degrees north by northeast huh what is it asked james if it keeps that heading it'll be a new york city by sunset new york city does said to himself what could santa want in new york city james muddle mumbled under his breath excuse me but backer asked i said i'm a chaplain yes project chaplain false alarm general let's that's one of our birds backer stared james down a skeptical glare in his eyes our intelligence did not indicate that the foundation was a possession of magical aircraft it's a new project top secret we've been developing a plane capable of keeping up with sdb 115 it looks it looks like it's just a test run see how it clears back and forth a little from its heading that's that's how it works can't share all the details of mixed company you understand kernel scp 115 the flying robots general does chuckle good luck keeping up with them they had me try to shoot one down p 38 back during the war i was lucky to have made it out alive well false alarm as this may be backer asked i really should let high command know what the current situation is is there a private phone nearby two rooms down dawg said airmen rodriguez will show you the open line that's chapter end but this is a really short final chapter so we're going to move on not final just the next chapter is really short let's keep going high command switchboard how many director call put me through to general abrams at once gold priority security code delta on the ground six six nine or epsilon tau one moment general kernel this is general abram speaking sand is in new york the foundation already has a burden the air en route coordinates unknown at this time they've got magic radar get our primary radar online and watch their bird it flutters once they do the groundwork they'll know about they'll know that centers they'll know that set santa loose on his sleigh and then we neutralize kte 4040 i assume my thoughts exactly general but we're gonna kill santa oh man chapter break magnetic fluid and some chat let's see what we're doing chatter clap remember to drop the like on the stream i will eat anyone who doesn't like the stream we did that handler 42 we're observing age of four copies all 25 is a new high can we 30 oh i hear whistling outside my door it must be a stalker it's gonna sleep tonight but then sherm is too epic while under the effects of mimetic fluid is there a task force that and take down rogue scp's i'm sure all the task force do that jar pickles i'm sure they do that all the time that's like a thing they do like task forces are sent all over the place force by we're observing your perimeter witness we all need a medic fluid we all need a medic fluid for fire i feel unhealthy very unhealthy mimetic fluid light excellent russell and this is a long story we need a little more mimetic fluid does beer count beer is a medic fluid as long as it has an alcohol content it is considered a mimetic fluid the whistling is much louder not unable to sleep i'm scared well don't hug him he's scared root beer only any jar pickles if it's a hard root beer site 42 can and all researchers are required to drink mimetic fluid that's how we keep sharp this is a so those who don't know in the site 42 discord server right now we have a couple of our ardent fans working on a site 42 cannon the idea is that maybe if the channel is popular enough and it doesn't look douchey to like do it we can make site 42 an actual secure location on the like secure location list because site 42 isn't listed right now and site 42 could be that but at least one of our guys wants to make site 42 the new lull foundation and the reason we want to do that is because scb 3999-j is contained at site 42 and that is the one where researcher talaran is faking 3999 for the funsies exactly so site 42 could be like the new lull foundation where it's not like the lull foundation where it was just like mary sue site avatars doing funny things but it's like mary sue's it's not really that funny but like actual funny jokes and we can do that if we keep writing funny jokes because 3999 is really funny uh sorry 3999-j it's really funny so if we keep doing dash j's sorry memetic fluid reaction if we keep doing dash j's in that line we could have a site 42 that's like actually like super comedy funny and that'd be fun that'd be a fun thing i don't know i don't want to be that guy who's like i put my thing on the site because i'm arrogant so if it comes around and it's good and people like it and we do it huzzah happy to be a help a catalyst so to speak i hope everybody is refueled on their memetic fluid and we can move on to the next uh oh my god oh my god russel just mentioned that 3999-j is real and then these cheeseburgers i'm really hungry like i gotta have some dinner after the stream i am starving all of a sudden man don't do food oh god i'm uh we're gonna cut this off when i'm too hungry and i need to eat something that's how this is gonna go down just so you know this is when a researcher sherm needs to go get some food uh 682 an endless source of food you can eat them all day never stops but i certainly can't stop halfway through a story so i gotta get back to this next chapter i do not quit i am too legit for the quitting santa claus hanged upside down above a giant vat of boiling clam juice a rope tied around his ankles was the only thing keeping the not so jolly old man from falling to his doom in the steaming pot in front of the field of vision stood his kidnapper a grizzled man dressed in a red chef's coat a toke as red as blood on his head a tomato embroidered over his heart the man pinched and twirled his moustache as he paced back and forth in front of santa reaching out to the control panel before him he pulled the main lever a tiny bit and the rope loosened something st. nicolas hurtling a few inches closer to the pot it's not much i'm asking of you santa the man said just tell me the magic words i need to use to get those randias of yours into the air and i'll be on my way once i've taken care of delivering my special presence all the good little boys and girls i'll let you go and your elves and your reindeer and you can go back to the north and rebuild your little house and your little factory and you can go on like none of this ever happened never santa shouted defiantly his voice echoing through the abandoned warehouse his captor turned to a sweatshop over the past week i won't let you do whatever you're planning to all those good little children i was kind of hoping you'd say that the man said as he pressed the intercom button on his console limitines do you copy yes sir a voice cracked into the radio take one of the reindeer down to the basement i don't care the freak one with the atomic nose we're eating good tonight no santa shouted please don't hurt rudolf you know what you have to do to make this stop santa the red man said tell me the magic words a tear fell from santa's eye rolling down his bald head and dripping into the clam juice word boiled away instantly all right come here and i'll tell you everything the man leaned over the edge of the pot is santa between his tears told the men all the words he needs to know how to get the reindeer flying how to break the sound barrier how to stop long time long enough to visit every house in the world before the south sun came up i knew you'd see a reason eventually the kidnappers said i'll go ahead and call off that order of reindeer burgers now the kidnapper recoiled in surprise from the horrific scream he heard as the instant he pressed the intercom button the meeting of this santa i swear i'll put you every one of those reindeer myself the kidnappers were cut off as a flying porcelain ball smashed into the side of his head shards flying every which way as piking half cream splashed all over his immaculate coat he turned towards the door where his guards were standing and saw them on the floor coated in the same boiling broth that had now soiled his costume standing between them was his counterpart black coat black hat a massive tank strapped to his back bowls hanging by the dozen from his utility belt a long tube connecting the tank to a massive cannon in his hands and a righteous sneer on his face as he eyed the man who had kidnapped santa claws she out at that night clever spot he's dead at the million valet but for him i knew it was you the second i saw the pictures of santa's workshop coating manhattan style chowder impossible there's no way you've got him tracked me here quite possible indeed you burgundy burglar of christmas cheer cleft reply to see approach his arch nemesis the breed of clam used was specific to the east river once i figured that out it was a mere matter of checking the real estate records to find any disused waterfront warehouses that had changed hands recently now stand down i'm taking you in and i'm letting santa go don't you dig another step the man had night dodge a blast from chef's chowder cannon as he left towards the console wrapping his hands around the control lever one more monster cleft shouted what do you want from saint nick anyway nobody eats manhattan style chowder anymore the man had night mumble to himself excuse me cleft asked chowder it's everywhere these days from suffolk to seattle to sandiago from lafayette to manitoba from dc to dalas from tampon and tim buck too you can't so much walk through a door of a seafood restaurant without having a moment chub in your face but you know what shout a cleft what the cream and bake splash is sherry it makes my blood boil shout a cleft not that you can even boil that stuff oh no it's scalds the clam chowder is all about my friend that's why they're so hard to work this last week they finished up an hour ago you know it's amazing how all the magic on that slime works i didn't think we'd be able to load three billion two hundred sixty eight million eight hundred nine six thousand one hundred seventy four gallons of piping hot chowder into the back but believe it or not three billion two hundred sixty eight million eight hundred nine six thousand one hundred seventy four gallons cleft said himself as he came to a horrific revelation well that's exactly exactly the man had night shouted exactly one gallon for everyone when the sun comes up on christmas morning all the little boys and girls are going to find a hobble on boots and talking dollies under their christmas trees no they're going to find the greatest gift of all piping hot chowder you're insane man had night cheff yelled you can't take away everyone's presence and give them your disgusting tomato soup they'll then test it we'll have a revolution on our hands a revolution indeed the man had night shouted a chowder revolution we should cast down on new england oppressors once and for all and it starts now the man had night jerked the control over all the way down snapping it off in his hand his center began to lower slowly towards the battle of clam juice your choice chowder chump save center or chase me the man had night dodged three blasts from the chowder cannon as he leapt through the door at the edge of the room cleft started to give chase but stopped himself in less than 30 seconds center would be in a soup as fast as he could cleft switched the control knob on the chowder cannon setting two and put a bowl of the creamy savory end product into a bowl gulping it as fast as he could strength welled within him omega three acids coursed him through his veins as the muscles seemed to double in size center even fancy that he saw stylized image of a clamshell appear on his bicep as cleft rolled up his sleeves set his hands on the side of the boiling pot and impervious to the pain from the hot steel upended it and turned it on its side spilling its deadly contents down the stairs and over the half dozen guards in their statue of liberty dresses who had been on the way up to the stairs to confront the dark chef a kitchen knife tossed from his you building belt some of the rope and said to fell into cleft's waiting arms before being set back on his feet why if it isn't little alto said to set his typically typical joviality returning to his voice i guess that easy make up and i gave you when you were a little paid off didn't it are you okay santa nothing along with just now won't fix believe me i'm putting you on my nice list for the next year there's still this year to worry about santa where's the slap check cleft stopped in sentences you heard the jingle bells outside the window in turn just in time to see santa slayer standing into the night sky a bubbling pot of chowder sitting in the place of santa's bag of toys ho ho ho merry chowder mess the man had night's voice i go through the empty streets damn it cleft shouted we're too late no need for impudent language little alto it's not quite midnight yet santa said he won't be able to use all my magic until it's christmas day you can still catch him no offense ain't nick but i know what you're reindeer capable of my child a copter might have magical clan powder but even it can't keep up there's no way i can catch him in time oh no santa winked and stuck his fingers into his mouth as he whistled i can't whistle i'm so sorry i'm so bad i can't do this part in a moment an eerie red globey and emanate from the staircase to the ground floor and a single reindeer trotted up the stairs past the libertines rolling in agony as the chowder burned away their flesh his bright red nose illuminating the room like a christmas tree you called santa the reindeer asked chapter fin let's take a break for scotch and chat room what's up chat see how you're doing jar pickles this story is crazy it's awesome i love it i also love this easy baked chowder yes dammit chat dammit clef say jobs i also want chowder so bad right now like i don't know where to get some chowder but i really want some chowder whistling is easy you just pucker your lips and blow i can like whistle like that but i can't do like the really loud finger whistle like the finger whistle is the impressive one like that whistling is fine i can't do the other one inhabited not spherical if you like this tail by the way if you like this tail go upvote it upvote it all the hell if you have enough voted to go do it i'm upvoted right now i'll upvote it later because like i'm way down the script i don't want to miss my place i'll come back to upvote it wow what a a very aggressive and intriguing tail i i know right he's everyone's so angry everyone's so mad it's amazing that's good moment of fluid hey guys guess what in eight minutes this stream will have been going on for three hours has anyone been here the whole three hours has anyone like was anyone here from the start who is in on that because this is crazy like we're we're gonna be here all night what are we doing i don't even know i don't even know who's who's been here for three hours anyone been here for three hours i've been here for three hours if you've been here for three hours who's got the stamina for this my god see jobs see jobs has been here all night what the heck morsel's time has been here two hours witness witness 20 minutes late that still counts that's cool you're fine deli gaff you're good like that's so good storm clouds i'm glad you made it back that's cool did it do we're gonna be here forever this this stream this is the wonderful stream this is so good this is fun not spiritual banana on board they're loud and powerless congratulations to everybody who has the stamina to do this all night alone all night get to you for the three hour mark that's what it is all night long why don't sherman just stop just stop thank you morsel's thomas for being on board that's what the heck we need an scp on memetic liquid obviously it's a very important part of the stream guys look at those numbers right there i don't know if you see we had 18 viewers for a moment and 25 likes that is a channel record what what welcome to the most epic holiday special ever and i say most epic holiday special ever because i'm not sure anyone has ever done a live stream scp holiday special but on that guy we did it it's amazing go site 42 we're boss we're good it's amazing okay on to the next chapter this just keeps going let's this is i can already tell he's gonna be nuts oh god santa and the l stood on the roof of the factory of the darkness looking out into the overcast sky for any side said to check his pocket watch a quarter after one he sighed do you think chowder clefts all right oh rewind do you think chowder clefts all right fits right ask santa i think i think it's going to be a late delivery this year boys wait one of the l shouted look over there a faint glow shown through the clouds to the east it might have just been a warning light from one of the beacons on the river but as they watched and watched and watched he started to grow brighter and brighter and brighter still until Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer himself emerged from the fog and behind him came dasher dancer prancer fix it comic guvitt donner and blitzen and behind them the sleigh and riding on that sleigh alone smiling and covered head to toe and tomato sauce once chowder cleft a chair rose up from the elves as the sleigh alighted on the rooftop and cleft stepped off alto santa shouted i knew you do it it wasn't easy cleft said the doc tried to shoot us both down i guess they figured nobody would know if it was that if santa and the reindeer just had to get blown up by edit and missiles this year i was gonna have to have words with them after we're done here now this guy here cleft padded his red nose mount on the head now he is a real trooper thanks cleft Rudolph said all i did was do a barrel roll like you said don't be so modest Rudolph it was you came up close enough for me to make the jump onto the sleigh but how did you stop the Manhattan night santa asked well santa in the middle of all our fighting i asked him a question what was that he spent his entire life fighting to wipe out new england style chowder i asked him if he'd ever actually tasted any you mean he hadn't i had a special batch just for him calling a christmas present cleft pointed you a control knob on his chowder cannon which had been turned to the third and final setting i spent days trying to get that batch just right and to make sure it was perfect i ran it through scb 914 on the varying fine he was in tears after a single spoonful he poured the pot out over the Atlantic ocean and barely shoot it out wonderful alto you see christmas consumed the heart of even the most wicked man oh i doubt i've seen the last of him santa this isn't the first time we've dueled over the question of soup supremacy and it sure won't be the last well the important thing is i have my slay and my reindeer buck thanks for all the help alto i've got a christmas to save it's already a quarter past one santa cleft said as you look downwards it might be too late oh alto the magic works for any midnight i've still got six more chances but what about the toys the manhattan night never got anywhere near the toys alto i keep them someplace very safe santa said with a wink it's just a matter of picking them up and say alto yes santa there's one more thing we can do to make up for lost time i hope you don't mind lending a little hand of yours a little while longer and letting me borrow that cannon of yours i'm finishing this last chapter we're going all the way marathon let's go dr andrew sit the coffee in the styrofoam cup as he drove home along the docking roads his watch said it was 5 32 a.m christmas morning he had no wake up sleep in the past three days nobody at site 19 had with all the work convincing people that things would be just fine as soon as he out settled their label dispute with santa he'd spent all night on the phone with researcher james at chi and mountain tracking the bizarre radar settings all around the eastern seaboard and ultimately dealing with the blowback after the geoc had been caught red handed violating the rules of engagement trying to shoot down santa sleigh and the unidentified object chasing it what had become of them after that was anyone's guess it was a miracle norad was still standing after what the geoc liaison tried to do to neutralize their magic radar andrew's pulled with the driveway of his little house in the suburb and shut off the motor as he climbed out of the into the predawn air sector at her eyes had been kind enough to let him spend the morning at home and explain to his girls why santa hadn't come he'd grown as he looked at the headlines in the morning paper on his doorstep nope santa santa's christmas hangs in the balance lbj makes last minute call the north panel the strike continues rides in new york la london outside of sold out toy stores bucky and vidal debate is santa a rad andrew's dropped the paper in amazement as soon as he saw the tableau in his living room beneath the golden little christmas tree leg dozens of presents all wrapped up in paper and bows he hadn't bought them karen hadn't bought them who had like an excited little boy he fell to his knees and examined the tags to jane from santa to amy from santa to mom and dad from santa he had done it somehow his crazy old friend in the black coat had done it santa was safe and it would be a merry christmas after all andrew's was about to race upstairs and wake everybody when he noticed something else a certain aroma wafting from the next room he turned the corner into the kitchen and there sitting on the warmer on the stovetop was a great big pot bubbling with cream and potatoes and clams and just the right hint of bacon and a little splash of sherry and over on the side read to the andrew's family from santa clef four brand new porcelain bowls and shining silver spoons sat on the counter next to the stove waiting to be used cautiously andrew stripped a spoon of the pot and took a taste hmm he said to himself the white pepper really does make a difference oh dr. clef saved christmas oh my god that tail was amazing that tail was amazing that tail was amazing i don't know what you're doing right now but if you are not upvoting the 155 upvotes how clef saved christmas you are doing it wrong i'm checking out the chat and my memetic fluid anyone else play a game chowder for christmas me has anyone beaten me yet i really need some chowder now i also need some chowder and it is a beautiful tail witness see jobs does denny's have chowder oh my god i need chowder i need chowder so bad and if my denny's has chowder i'm going for chowder oh my god scb219 is like a medic fluid plus it looks a bit like scotch and has an alcoholic taste well good on it inhabited is upvoting the tail if you like how dr. clef saved christmas go upvote it because it deserves it oh my god that was epic that was epic chowder clef saved christmas how do you how do you even deal with life i don't know what to do that was such a good tail that was such a good tail and we are at the three hour and two minute mark ladies and gentlemen boys and or girls and or whatever you identify as i do believe that three hours of live stream is a pretty epic site 42 holiday special and i don't think i'm going to top how dr clef saved christmas so i think we're about to wind this stream down and the way we're going to do that is chat you and i we can chat we can hang out for a minute we had a good run some of us have been here for three fucking hours this is the best holiday special of all time of all time we did good if you guys got anything you want to chat about let's chat let's hang out by the fireside and relax for a moment before i leave and go get some fucking chowder because i need some chowder and if my denny's has red chowder i'm going to flip a table because they better have white chowder new england style chowder none of this new york bullshit just saying just saying oh my god oh my god i will flip a table if there's red chowder ten gu i'm glad you caught the tail end i'm glad you made it for a little bit c jobs off to denny's we will all spiritually be at denny's together you'll go to denny's i'll go to denny's we'll all go to denny's and get chowder make sure you have the white powder it really does make a difference unfortunately we're a christian server let's stay family friendly and watch your profanity oh no oh no this stream is already demonetized sit due to no guys we're not done yet we're not done yet i'm sorry i'm sorry this is the director's cut this is the encore this is the extra credits if you did not quit when i say we were quitting we're not done yet because there's one tail it was requested i didn't do it it is tangentially close enough for us to do it it's very short we're doing it right now right now we're not done yet one more tail one more tail hold up hold up i'm not done yet i got one more in me i already recorded it for the channel i already recorded it for a dictation but we're doing it live we're doing it live on court we're doing it live scp spooky dash j scp spooky dash j doing it live are you ready it's a plus 82 if you need to upvote it go upvote it don't even ask it's amazing just go upvote it item number scp spooky dash j object class safe correction euclid spooky containment procedures scp spooky dash j cannot be faithfully contained due to the nature of its being in the event that scp spooky dash j manifests outside his containment chamber it is to be s forwarded back to his chamber and recontained scp spooky dash j's containment chamber is a standard humanoid containment chamber with a single lock security door to ensure simple containment description scp spooky dash j is visually identical to a typical human skeleton standing 1.72 meters in height and weighing 5.44 kilograms the skull face and jaw structure of scp spooky dash j is completely flexible and grants it the ability to make a range of facial expressions despite its lack of muscles or flesh as well scp spooky dash j's capable of vocalization and sapient thought scp spooky dash j is capable of vanishing and manifesting at will to any location within 66.6 meters from its original position during the month of any major commercial holiday individuals in the location of scp spooky dash j's manifestation often report a subtle rattling noise originating somewhere behind them individuals exposed to scp spooky dash j and its anomalous effects are to be administered class a amnestics prior to recontainment of the entity when interacting with living human subjects scp spooky dash j will typically display display verbally aggressive behavior often the form of insults and challenges to physical altercations despite this behavior scp spooky dash j has yet to seriously or purposefully injure a living subject out of observable malice scp spooky dash j displays an anomalous understanding of individual subjects mothers and sisters where these relations are applicable entry incident october 28th 2016 the following incident took place between dr randy m filler and scp spooky dash j prior to a recontainment incident again scp spooky dash j you insufferable fuck stay away say the fucking your chamber before i beat your sorry ass you can't tell me what to do you skin sack davie bones does he pleases shut do you even care anymore this is why nobody visits you anymore jesus you're so fucking annoying shut your dog slobber fuck boy you can't rattle these bones you can't rustle these jimmies spooky dash j if you keep this shit up i would call security down here and get you terminated if you know you're gonna what kill me i'll fuck you up you bitch then i'll fuck your mother i'll no scope you i swear to god why you have to do this every year jesus you're an absolute twat waffle suck my scallop balls scp spooky dash j and dr filler proceeded to argue for several minutes before dr filler was removed from the observation room and dismissed from active duty in site 12 and has been placed on pay leave entry incident november 23rd 2016 scp spooky dash j appeared in the cafeteria of site 12 and began to collect all the uneaten holiday food into several trash bags before disappearing from staff perception it then appeared in the quarters of dr randy and filler and smeared cranberry sauce across the surface of his desk before consuming large amounts of bread stuffing it's thanksgiving you asshole you ruined my novel scp spooky dash j continues to consume excessive amounts of stuffing where it exits scp spooky dash j's body through its ribcage and now it's coating the floor why are you even doing this you don't even have a stomach you fuckwit i'm doing it because i love you dad scp spooky dash j throws the rest of the bag at the wall where it bursts open of dr filler's bed and proceeds to run out of the room before security can arrive dr filler has hence requested to transfer to another site request pending entry incident 12 24 to 12 25 2016 1950 hours scp spooky dash j exits his containment chamber undetected 20 30 hours the hubcaps from all vehicles in site 12 staff garage go missing and are not found for several hours 23 14 hours dozens of large gift wrap boxes appear in the common area of site 12 all the room is vacated oh 110 hours scp spooky dash j appears in its containment chamber displaying erotic excited behavior he's wearing a green santa hat at this time oh 750 hours it an announcement is made that staff vehicles have been vandalized and on-site personnel display warranted agitation 10 35 hours various personnel enter the common area of site 12 and discover the gift wrap boxes on the wall farthest from the doorways the statement merry christmas fuckboys is painted in expired gravy 10 55 hours all gift wrap presents are opened by an eod team and are discovered to contain the stolen hubcaps from the staff garage our request has been submitted to the administrative board on the topic of the termination and archival of scp spooky dash j to prevent future nuisances and possible hazards to site 12 entry incident february 14 2017 dr randy and filler received an anonymous package containing a human tibia and a letter reading this valentine's day i'd like to be your fuckboy from your spookily contents of the package have been moved to forensic storage dr filler's requested an indeterminate leave of absence after receiving this package request again denied oh my god scp spooky dash j that was just freaking amazing i love that skip that is the end jacob hall how much is left you just showed up in the last tail that is the end but like we're gonna chip we're gonna show it for a second you can hang out in the chat spooky dash j is amazing that was i had to read him tonight because like he shows up on christmas once that's a christmas tale right he shows up at christmas one time that's fine he did it it's a christmas tale it's good we did good all right memetic fluid happy memetic fluid holiday to you all you caught the livestream for that yesterday when i couldn't say the word indeterminate or any words ever because i couldn't speak yesterday so bad ten move my bones are rabble see jumps how are there no umbers that's so bad you gotta get to denny's but don't drunk drive drunk driving is bad don't do it not a spherical happy holidays happy holidays do you do man christmas miracle we all wake up on christmas day there'll be chowder beneath our trees oh my god witness you are that is all that is the magic that is the magic of the holiday day there's this thing called a taxi they still exist rustle you're lying that's just an anomaly that you came up with that's not a real thing they're no taxis with a taxi no one's ever heard of a taxi you've never heard of a taxi they're not a thing that exists ah they slow as fuck do man jesus i site 42's holiday special is 194 minutes right now delegate if you got work to do we'll see you later i'm glad you'd hang out with us for so so long man i was before i started this stream i said to myself you know what you say you're going to go for like two or three hours that's arrogant you're not going to go for two or three hours just say it's going to be long because like don't be rude don't be arrogant don't be like i'm gonna go all night long now we've gone all night long that's the name that happened we've been here for three hours and it's been amazing we've told so many tales and we had christmas carols and oh god witness let's go for six hours next time we'll go for six hours but i gotta like cater that first like jesus i am freaking hungry like as soon as we close the stream i'm going to denny's to get some chili my god this has been an amazing stream everybody who watched it all night long i'm so very happy to have shared this night with you move the stream to your phone and take us to denny's amazing actually it's funny i'm i film on an iphone 5 because this is my iphone that i just got for christmas from my mom because my mom is wonderful yay mom but uh this is my old iphone 5 it still gets wi-fi so it's a good webcam and i can still use my phone and but the thing is the iphone 5 now that it's not a phone it just has wi-fi so if i leave the wi-fi will die so it'll turn off otherwise i take the stream to go get some chowder we don't have a chowder adventure god damn why my god but yes as soon as we're all done chatting we'll go get some chowder everyone's gonna go get some chowder from wherever they're going in the meantime this is let me get real for a moment let me get like super real super end of holiday live stream real thank you guys for tuning in this has been super fun for me uh it's been fun for you guys you guys have had fun i have had like how a fun this has been the best experience we had a great night this is like a six hour fireplace so we could go for six hours later on sometime but thank you guys for tuning in it has been amazing playing games with you all and reading scp's like i still have like 10 christmas scp's on this list that we couldn't do i did mainly the good ones that i knew were like boss funny and like awesome and entertaining but there's like some really long serious ones and some like really heart wrenching sad ones and like we'll have to do those at sometime too because like god man like there's just so many but thank you guys for being a part of site 42 uh we grow because you guys want to watch what the hell we're doing here and you want to hang out in the discord and you want to talk and we will keep doing this thing because as long as you guys like doing it as long as we create growing this is a fun thing to do site 42 will keep growing we'll keep finding new ways to expand we'll keep doing fun things we'll keep improving the art we'll keep helping the scp community because i don't just want to like work off the scp fandom i want to help the scp fandom i want to like write articles for the wiki i want to help people figure out their stuff i want you guys to do better fandom things i want us all to grow as scp fandoms and drink some water because you've been drinking memetic fluid all night and you don't want to die exactly Russell Russell's got our backs sis thank you guys for being part of this stream uh remember to do all the youtube things the like in the share and the patreon the discord and the patreon the merch and the merch and the patreon and the patreon and the merch and the discord and the patreon and the merch and the discord and the like and the share and the youtube stuff because we keep growing we keep doing things like this this has been a blast we'll do this again and uh yeah next year i think even if we do get to do a uh live thing with volgan and we get to do a live like event and we'll fly volgan all right so i really want to fly volgan in like it makes my heart happy the idea of flying volgan from ireland to california to do a crazy thing so we'll do that but we'll still probably do the live stream like even if we have like a huge budget in a year and we're doing like crazy good things we should still do the like this ghetto ass tv fireplace live stream just for like the fans this is a fan thing we'll do like the real art thing but also this is for you fans because y'all are wonderful and we're making good things man and right now we're about to hit the fabled 200 minute mark so you've got 45 seconds 35 seconds sorry and then this stream is cutting off right at 200 seconds so we're calling here kick it start fly volgan here kick start fly volgan to california volgan's come to california we're gonna kick start it we're gonna go fund it we're gonna crowdfund this sucker noom's gonna program it i don't know what noom's gonna do we're gonna involve noom he's gonna make a site 42 game with pabs pabs is gonna do it it's gonna be great we do all the things we have 10 seconds 9 seconds i love you guys site 42 live stream christmas i'll see you guys in the next video so glad you guys could come out and we're gone