 Jane is with the in-crowd, the popular people, at least that is what others can see. It is not that she is nicer than other people, or prettier, or smarter, it is just that others seem to want her attention. Clicks are a circle of potential friends. Like a wagon train passing through hostile Indian territory, they close themselves in, leaving everyone else outside and exposed. Those groupings are both less personal and less focused than personal friends. Those who are on the inside are bounded by association rather than by something shared with other members. Clicks do not support people in performance, in accomplishing things, but rather have a vague sense of shared foundation. The importance of a click is popularity. It is the social acceptance of others who are somehow like one another. They seem to share a common theme or basis, even if it is only of value to those who do not share it. It is like a doorway that is open to some people, but not to others. Members of Clicks do not have to be friends. They just have to appear to have an ease in dealing with each other. Again, like the wagon train in hostile territory, they tend to circle and form their own little village. Of course, living in the same town with others does not make them your friends, but rather your neighbors. The value of being with the in-group is like living in the right neighborhood. It is acceptance of who you are based on who your neighbors are. On the performance side, the click is a social gathering. It has no performance purpose and accomplishes nothing for its members except for an ease in dealing with each other. Instead of having an us and them distinction, there is no accomplishment. It does have a certain level of cost that is the terms of conformity, appearing to be a part of the group. It is seen in whatever the in-group considers to hold forth as a characteristic of the group. It has a potential for supporting performance, for finding things that other members of the group value so that they, like friends, can work together to make things happen. People who think in performance terms are likely to form a click of their own, especially in today's environment where it is not supported by any enforced or social learning. The ability to accomplish things of value will be a distinction, one way or another, in which an in-group can form. Like other such gatherings, the click will accomplish nothing of value in itself. It will have value as a social grouping. What it will provide is an increased ability to recognize and honor people for doing rather than for looking right or saying the right things or dressing in a certain way. Performance approach is just one more way for people to set themselves apart from the rest, to be seen as a group that is exclusive for some people. The lesson is that everyone is human. The members of a click are not special people and being part of some in-group is not going to yield great benefits. What it does increase is some potentials at the cost of some level of conformity. The performance lesson is that there is nothing to accomplish by becoming a social insider. A social click does not accomplish things and does not really bring people together to get anything done. Its value to any person will be personal and value in youthful membership will shrink as they grow and learn to be effective as adults. There are many lessons to be learned in dealing effectively with other people. And what we learn from our own most universal urge to join in some in-group is that this is human. The experience of clicks, whether you are within or without some group, is common. But what we can learn are not performance lessons. Linda has an urge to join popular kids in her neighborhood to be accepted. To do this she is going to have to look right, a new wardrobe, to pick up some of the behaviors of the people who are already in the group. She is wondering what her mom will do when she asks for new clothing when money is so tight. Our experience with clicks are the steps along the way to developing adult social skills but are not valuable in themselves. Invest in click behavior intelligently, noting the cost and looking for where the personal benefit can be gained. If you can bear the cost in making the desired changes and there is good expectation for actually becoming more popular when these changes are made, then the choice is yours.