 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Who I said Hey cat, where's my wife? Where have you put her? So you're not talking are you? Did you get your own tongue you strong silent cat you? Well, yeah, if you're not home, yeah Shakespeare hang up my hat I'm sorry old boy a little big for you Well, come on in cat. We'll have a nice quiet pipe and get along perfectly well by ourselves Oh I'm here on this farm. There are some pigs Oh here in the cat the dog Shakespeare. How'd you like to live on a farm? Lots of nice field mouse Would you like a nice field mouse? Where are my matches? Shakespeare, where have you put my matches? Yeah, I'm not you not you No, here they are Oh This is nice just as two boys That's that Shakespeare where'd you say she went? Oh You don't know Hello, mother. Well, I'm glad somebody's home Certainly I'm home. Where's your daughter? She's playing hooky No, no, she isn't here. I thought maybe she was taking refuge with you Wherever she is she's got the dog Look mommy, you know you you don't need to get worried. No, she'll be along in a minute How are you feeling? Ha ha ha ha Well, come on over after dinner fine fine We'll see you then Goodbye Hmm. Come on Shakespeare Come sit on the sofa next to me and we're looking to each other's eyes Hey, this house seems awfully big and awfully empty doesn't it without my little wife play quiet I wish I had the evening papers Gloria Scared me Not at all. It's not nice to do that to people. You're always doing it If you don't think it scares me wherever you've been your nose is cold into the little store around the corner I needed some tomatoes boils stewed or salt a fresh fresh who me you and the tomatoes David this is the most convenient place to live Just imagine if it worked for that little store around the corner We'd have to do without tomatoes for dinner. I don't know how we could manage. Oh, but seriously. It's true, isn't it? Of course it is. I did all the marketing for tomorrow. It's gonna be delivered. It's a wonderful wonderful century We live that can't ever be serious. I'm serious. What are you playing to do stand around your coat all evening here? Give it to me. I'll hang it up. Oh, just put it down on the chair sloppy Put yourself down on the chair, too Why should I because I want to sit in your lap. Hmm. That's what I was afraid of and now I'm gonna put Shakespeare down on top of all of it. Oh, I am crushed. You should be flattered Where's bluff in the bedroom? I guess doesn't he want to come in here and jump up on top of the heat? I call him. Don't you dare This is nice isn't this is heavy. This is what I wait for all day. Don't you think you're overdoing it a little? Did you like it? No, I know what it feels like to be the bottom piece of a lettuce and in a club sandwich Deluxe club seven to five cents and with a pickle. How do you get your elbow out of my eye? Are you getting fur all over me now? What's the matter with a little cat fur? Nothing except I don't like it Why don't you like it? I just don't that's all you don't mind a little dog fur. Do you know that's different? Why because I refuse to answer any more questions. I know why because why I'll just answer this one question because dog fur You think is more manly than cat fur ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous all you like but that's the truth Because you're a man you think you have to go around being manly all the time I can't think of a better reason can you silly but I'm glad you're a man. You are. It's nice Yes, well if you're so glad stop getting cat fur all over me. Sweet little cat Don't you think he doesn't even claw at any of the furniture. I think that's very unfair to Shakespeare Cats have to claw at something besides your stocking. What do you want me to do take him to the park on a leash? I look silly with a big dog in one hand and a little cat on the other I think Shakespeare is a country cat of what I mean I think he ought to live on a farm where he can wrap up all the milk He gets all the milk he wants on a farm He can lap it up right out of the milk bucket as it is he falls into his saucer He drowned if he fell into a milk bucket and in the country it have trees to claw at to sharpen his toes And he could run up to the top and drop chestnuts as we passed all the chestnuts in this family are dropped by you David Nottingham Shakespeare how do you feel about chestnuts? He doesn't you don't know what he's missing Claudia. I am gasping for air. You're growing heavier by the minute. It's Shakespeare He's growing David. How do you feel about a cup of tea? I feel good about anything if you'd get up off my lap I'm not insulted. All right. I'm up Suddenly I feel so light. I never appreciated you're not sitting on my lap so much before that's why I sit on it I'm not insulted. Well, I'll put the kettle on. I'll be right back Anything special does that be anything special because I like to talk to you when I get home You've got plenty of opportunity darling I can hardly breathe when you're sitting on my lap. How do you expect me to talk? Oh, there's the doorbell on answer You want me to go? You're so crushed I don't see how you could possibly walk breathing and walking have nothing to do with each other Need any money? You're getting smarter every day Convenient way to live not bad not bad. It's delirious if you put down that package I'll let you sit on my lap. You will just show you my heart's in the right place. Where is your heart? It's not on my lap Here I am now What was it you wanted to talk to me about I didn't want to talk to you about anything you didn't funny I had a feeling you did no Nothing special How are you feeling fine? How are you? I'm fine thank you good. I'm not going to be a mother Well, I'm not going to be a father. So we're even What'd you do all day? Oh Nothing got cold out this afternoon. So I stayed home so nice and snug here Fritz keeps the apartment nice and warm, doesn't it? There's not a lot of trouble for him. Well, it does mean stoking the furnace several times a day It does sound like a lot of trouble. I'm glad we don't have to worry about that sort of thing Oh, I don't think I'd mind you would if you had to do it It's one of the great advantages of living in an apartment You don't have to worry about things like heat hot water light plugs faucets and things like that Well, there are lots of disadvantages to name one. Well, it's artificial sort of the 20th century cliff dwellers Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What are they cliff dwellers the cliff dwellers? The term is self-explanatory. I've never heard of them. Where do they live? They don't anymore. Well, you just said they didn't I'm sorry. I mentioned them. So am I why you because it interrupted what it is. You have to tell me me I have nothing to tell you why I got that look what look the new look Lo of having to tell me something Is it about the office? It's not about the office. Is it about Lottie? It is not about Lottie. Is it about Roger? In a way, I knew it in what way is it about Roger? Roger was up to Eastbrook yesterday. He saw a farmhouse Farmhouse that doesn't sound so exciting. What about it? It was beautiful and it was for sale. No, he didn't buy it darling Oh, that's really what could he possibly do with a silly old farmhouse in Eastbrook? He could live in it What for a lot of people live in farmhouses or even just plain houses in Eastbrook not people like us and Roger We live in New York we do now But that doesn't mean that we'll always have to Roger going to buy it. No, there's no intention of buying it But it's a beautiful place. He says barns and everything barns what for cows milk. What do you think for? Why bother with a barn when you've got a backdoor? That's what I said. It's not the same thing at all I don't think the milk is milk is milk no matter where it comes from. That's all a matter of opinion. It is Wouldn't you have a Wonderful feeling of pride and ownership and a glass of milk that came from your own cow? No, I wouldn't you wouldn't have would you? Might well since Roger's not buying the place. There's no point in discussing it even is there. No, but Claudia Claudia does does the land mean anything to you What land David land that you might own land that would that would be yours with Trees and a brook and fields on it. I think it'd be just a nuisance Be wonderful for bluffing the baby Bluff loves it here and the baby isn't here yet and the park is just around the corner waiting for him Parks full of trees. It has a lake and everything, but it's not yours. Thank goodness You should see all the manatees to keep it looking nice in the summer I think it'd be kind of exciting to own a place of our own to have it year after year Not to pay rent to anybody to have our children on it to grow old on it to David You're not talking about Roger buying that farm. You're talking about us buying it. Don't be silly I told Roger this after the root and this afternoon. I I wasn't the least bit You don't sound the least bit not interested. Well, certainly I told him that I said Roger. I'm not interested I told him that what did you tell him? Claudia I Think you've talked me into something David me and I think you've talked me into wanting that place wanting it very much Even though I don't want it at all. Well, then what what I mean? I mean, I don't want it today or tomorrow, but someday darling. It'll be perfect for us David You're not making sense. I haven't said a word for it I I like it here the mail at the door the newspaper the milkman mama around the corner Don't you remember this morning darling? I like it here You're right, Claudia You're right. I I love it here That's why I wish you hadn't made me sound like Roger Funny guy talking about that place farmhouse anything because Now, oh, what's the use? All I can think of is that blasted cow standing at our back door This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney Whether you're planning a special party or you simply want to be ready for social emergencies The smartest thing you can do lady is to see that there's plenty of coca-cola in the refrigerator Then you can greet expected and unexpected guests with equal ease Knowing that a hearty welcome awaits them or the pause that refreshes says better than words alone can Grand to have you here Relax and have a good time Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying or a bar and remember Whoever you are Whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola or ice-cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes