 Talk about the high quality man and where we can meet this high quality person in this chaotic world We live in now we're gonna just jump right into it and Kind of let's decide what is high quality because I think there's a misconception about high quality Particularly in the red pill community and a lot of the conversation that's going on out there in the so-called dating mating or relating realm and I think oftentimes high quality is perceived as a man who is Physically fit and can pay his bills. In fact, he has lots of money to pay his bills and he can get any man He wants that's what seems to be considered the high quality person today I'm gonna have a different approach I'm gonna look at it from a different angle and we're gonna view high quality more to do with here Then the outside world So I think the first thing that we have to identify that a high quality person and let me Rewind for a second I don't like the term high quality. I don't like pigeon-holing one person different than another Okay, so why not shift this into maybe the ideal guy has blank Okay, the ideal guy has blank Can everyone say that with me my ideal guy has blank and I'm gonna talk about what this blank is And if you agree with any of the blanks, give me a thumbs up and give me an amen as well So the first blank if you will fill in the blank Is that they have their act together? They have their act together both in their outside world and their Inside world. I'm gonna repeat that in their outside world and their inside world now. I wrote notes So let me do a little cheat sheet here. They pay their bills They pay their bills in the outside world. They're responsible and they have their professional act together It's not in a sense of chaos See what I've observed is a lot of women are in the dating marketplace and They're meeting meeting men who are maybe struggling financially And we have a lot of people who are have gone through a lot of chaos and terminal particularly after COVID And there's no disrespect for those that have experienced that and yet some people seem to attract In their life chaos when it comes to their professional life or their financial life So first I would say a person I would like to think that the person you're seeking is blank Has their act together has their act together from the outside world? Okay from the outside world they live in up they can pay their bills. They live in a place which is decent They're not a hoarder That's a judgment on my part But the list can go on and on in their professional life isn't in chaos. Okay now within the outside There's the inside world. They and here's what I want to share with you on this particular one because when we are truly introspective people We know that we have Insecurities and fears and we a person that has their act together when it comes to their insecurities and fears They don't need you to medicate those insecurities and fears now I'm talking to those of you that are in Relationship where someone where you spend most of your time on the text messages you spend most of your time on text messaging one another Okay, or on the telephone and what I've observed particularly in the divorce demographic We see a significant percentage of people Who are using online dating as a form of therapy as a form of therapy? What I mean is they use online dating as a way to connect with people and Since they can't physically meet in a fairly quickly time because they're doing this long-distance kind of dynamic That they get chatty with each other. They're chatty with each other They're chatty with each other and they're all there and what happens is they start to talk about their past experiences From this venting point of view from this complaining point of view and what happens is many people are Experiencing the therapy Because they're seeking this other person to medicate their Insecurities has anyone experienced that if you have please hit that like button say yes I've experienced a man or woman who has sought me out as a therapist See when a person has their act together. They don't need you to be their therapist to feel good about themselves Okay, the next one They're in good physical health. I put this in a separate category. They're in good physical health See, I think physical health is critically important for the maintaining of a long-term relationship And I think those that value physical health As a priority in their life. They do regular doctor visits. Maybe they exercise a few times a week I know I walk on average of four miles a day and I ride my bike about 10 miles a couple times a week just to do a few things and Stretching that sort of thing take my medication on time You know for those of us that have to take medication. That's honoring your health and that means you're gonna honor a relationship So when I said you're where to meet a man with blank. I think whether it's a man or woman. They value their health demonstrates that they actually care about themselves and actually care about being in a significant relationship Now the next one is the one of the most obvious ones I've heard this from you ladies Habitually that you want a man whose actions matches his words his actions matches his words How many of you raised your hand if you've been with a man? Or hit that like button to let me know if you've been with a man whose actions didn't match his words Consistently look I am guilty of saying something and doing another I am not Here to espouse that I am a perfectly perfect human being who's in absolute integrity 24-7 and yet I do my best to operate from a place if I'm gonna say something. I'm going to do it Have you experienced a man whose actions didn't match his words? I think we all want a human being whose actions matches their words I think sadly in the dating marketplace whether you're a man or woman. We see habitual inconsistent in inconsiderate behavior I'll tell you a story really quickly. I'm going off the reservation for a second I once dated a woman or not day. Well, I'm gonna talk about head I'd first date with a woman. We had a really nice time We had planned the second day and we happen to live an hour from each other. We decided we're gonna meet halfway Supposed to meet at seven o'clock at night. I texted her earlier in the day. Hey, let's figure it Let's jump on a phone call to coordinate Text her a couple three hours in advance didn't hear from her text or two hours advanced didn't hear from her text or an hour in advance Didn't hear from her called her and I kept texting and I'm like, you know I'm like this person seemed like they weren't a goaster and It turns out she calls me an hour and a half after we were supposed to meet and She said my girlfriend was having a crisis. I'm like, okay. Your girlfriend had a crisis I bet anything if I was her boss. I was her mother. I was somebody important in her life She would have sent a simple text message saying, hey, uh, something's come up. I need to cancel Folks the day my son passed away. Those of you know, I lost a child. There's a picture of connor right there On the little woody outfit On the day he passed away. I was supposed to have a date that night And I texted her hours ahead of time saying I've had a personal emergency. I had to cancel I lost a child And I could text someone to cancel a date for this person not to do that Their actions aren't going to match their words. There's a level of courtesy. There's a level of kindness. There's a level of consideration That I think we see a habitual problem in the dating marketplace today because if it was her boss I guarantee you if she had a meeting with her boss She would have kept the meeting and she would have told her girlfriend. Hey, I'll catch up with you later Do you know what? Consideration is the hallmark of actions matching someone's words at least in my opinion anyway Number three or number not number three. There's no number order here I think a person the person i'm looking for as blanks. They're they're clearly They are clear about seeking partnership and they show up as a partner That's right. They're clear that they want partnership and they show up as a partner Give me a thumbs up hit that like button if you've ever experienced a man who did not show up that way I've I've had that happen with women They didn't show up that way. They showed up very self-centric caring about their own needs Just like this woman. She cared about her own needs. She didn't care about my needs She didn't care my need for punctuality. She didn't care for my need of reciprocity She didn't care about my need for kindness all she cared about was her needs now again I understand a friend is in crisis But you know what common courtesy Is a hallmark of partnership And so to show up as a partner to someone you have to demonstrate it from your very first actions In the dating marketplace is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know If it is please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel if you want to connect with me Check out the links below to a free discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you number Next one. They have agreeable personality with boundaries bump bump bump look it you know Having an agreeable personality means you're chill means you go with the flow. It's not about being right It's about being happy and yet the same Time it's important to have boundaries. I'm not here to suggest being agreeable and being a doormat I'm here to say have your standards and boundaries, but agreeable people are more fun to be with I've had friends I've had friends who are a pain in the ass They're difficult to plan things with they always want something different and there's no disrespect I can understand that but when it's habitual when somebody's habitually problematic It becomes a drain to be with those people agreeable personalities I think particularly ladies you want to be with a man who has an agreeable fun loving nature I think that certainly fits into this high quality narrative And to piggyback on agreeable personality a sense of humor You know what? I've got to tell you I've gone on dates with women where they are a stick in the mud I mean, it's like resting bitch face and I'm sure you've gone out with guys who are absolute duds Have you ever gone out with a guy who's a dud hit that like button? Please say yes. I've gone out with a dud I think people with a sense of humor Um, you know, they they look at life with a bit of levity. They look at life with a bit of Curiosity I like I think going to a comedy club is a great way to have a first date and then talking about it afterwards Just something to consider anyway or a second or third date. Excuse me Oh now here's a critically important one for all of you that are seeking a significant relationship Let me put up my notes right here for everyone just so you can see it But I want to read this this is so critically important If it is please let me know jonathan. This is a must-have. This is a deal breaker if I don't have this They are they are very clear about their feelings and commitment towards You they're very clear about their feelings and commitment towards you Towards their partner You know, I think one of the challenges these days is a lack of clarity A lack of intentionality a lack of of really being mindful That there's another human being that might get attached to you and while you can say, you know, I knew this one guy He always said well, I told them I wasn't looking for anything serious Yeah, but you were having sex with them and you were complimenting them all the time You know having sex with someone and complimenting them all the time Leads that a person down a path of believing that you want something more and I know you've Set up the escape clause right from the beginning But I think it's critically important not to just express your physical attraction to a person but really Express your feelings of how you feel with this person beyond the surface of penis inside the vagina And complimenting a person is certainly a very kind thing to do But the end of the day truly expressing how you feel about this person How they make you how you feel when you're with them and being clear on your intentions for commitment Demonstrates I think it demonstrates Again, we're calling this high quality That demonstrates a person that's I think a little bit above the cut of everyone else. Is this sinking in? I hope so They don't have a past that will cause contention in any future relationship bump bump bump folks For those of us in the divorce demographic I would venture to say well over 50 percent have a contentious relationship with the next whether you're a man or you're a woman You have a contentious relationship with the next and that bleeds into the dating marketplace I can tell you if that hasn't healed if their past Relationships haven't healed whether it's a former boyfriend and girlfriend or a former spouse Whatever order they came into your life if those people are active in your life and it creates a contention Then it's going to be very problematic to actually want to To be able to really open up with a person But more important for them to open up with you Does that make sense? And this is kind of last on my list They have strong emotional IQ They have a strong emotional IQ They know how to regulate their feelings because they've addressed their childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas And they know how to regulate their emotions. I've talked about this book a million times I recommend everyone. There's a link below to get a copy of all the books. I recommend I recommend getting the book The Hoffman process the Hoffman process This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas I'm going to read you a forward the program or not a forward but a testimony the program in this book Is the finest and most complete expression of what healing and spirituality are all about it was only It was the only book available on Psycho spiritual transformation. It would be enough. I consider it essential for anyone on a healing path The work Hoffman process the world famous technique that empowers you to forgive your past heal your present and transform your future Folks high emotional IQ starts with coming from from healing the past And not allowing that bleed into your life. I will tell you most people's negative patterns and limiting beliefs in their life is is stems from A wound in their childhood that has gone unresolved So I've just identified what a high quality guy is right Well, the but the title of this video is where where can a woman meet a high quality man? I can tell you most relationships fail because they're missing many of the things listed on this high quality list So I'm here to invite a different narrative today I'm here to invite a different narrative when it comes to where to meet a high quality man I want you to stop saying where can I meet a high quality man? And I want you to say how can I be in front of a high quality man? How can I be in front of a high quality man? See not you looking for them. I want you to figure out. How can you be in front of them? So I'm going to share something from my own playbook. This is brand new for everyone So most of you know and if you don't already know my significant relationship has ended by the time of recording this it's been about a month and a half And well, we're in this transmuting of this relationship, which is most likely going to lead to some level of friendliness to one another We're not going to be in the same geography So we're going to be friendly to one another I'll probably put myself out in the dating marketplace in the next Month and a half two months three months. In other words, give myself three or four months after the ending of the relationship Okay, why am I sharing this? because I've come to conclude That the swipe form of meeting people Has marginalized human beings when you swipe someone over and over and over again It creates an emotional disdain for another human being because of the judgments many people have myself included when we swipe So I was asking myself How can I be in front of the type of woman? I want to meet I work from home So I don't have a physical outlet to connect with people in my professional capacity Many people do and that's one blessing So just like what I've shared with many of you. It's raining great men. It's raining great men. It's raining great men to me It's raining great women. It's raining great men women And what I'm going to do is actually put myself in front of every opportunity I can I'm beginning to do workshops, so I'm so I'm choosing to do the things I like to do And I'm choosing things that happen to be where women are at Okay, so if I can be in front of women and do the things I like to do Not from a dating perspective. I am I want to actually I am praying to meet someone organically It's organically. I think what's happened today is we've become so dependent on online dating And I'm still here to advocate online dating as a way to meet. It's a spoke in the wheel At the same time, I'm here to encourage everyone Put some major effort forward being in front of the type of person you'd like to meet because these are the things you like to do So I'll be chronicling chronicling chronicling Chroniclizing. Oh, I don't know the word my experience in the next few months Of how I'm going to be physically in front Because it's not about where to how to or where can I meet them? It's how can I meet them? Because the where everybody there's great men and great women everywhere. The problem is they're just like you They're stuck in their homes and many of people become so dependent upon online dating in this bastardized form And again, still spoken of will that people are going to be, you know, 50% of all new relatives You know 50% of all new relationships are going to happen through an online connection I'm here to encourage a more organic way and I'm inviting everyone to find ways to be in front of First show up as a high quality person Start doing what brings you joy and maybe just maybe you might meet someone in an organic fashion That will actually be aligned to who you are and what you want Is this resonating with you if it is please hit that like button Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and check out all the links below And if you haven't got my book what the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work I highly recommend getting the book and again Check out all the links below All right, time for q&a if you have a question for me Write the word question and then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat All the money's from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son connor asley Again, that's a picture of him in the woody outfit right there It's my son who passed away over five years ago And his honor I donate to causes like the hoffman process insight institute and seeds of love and sadly yesterday I learned of another person who lost a child on the very same day connor passed away july 3rd Her son just passed away of two in 2023 mine was 2018 We share this horrific thing of a child lost on the very same day and my heart goes out to her All right If you have a question write the word question and post the question there after or if you want to be on the hot seat Check out the link right there in the chat box Um and join us on the hot seat. By the way, our goal tonight is to collect 50 dollars 50 dollars for the connor asley scholarship fund All right, let's see what kind of questions we have here Um pump pump pump pump pump. I thought I saw something pump pump pump I saw a question here. We go from one to a while back What if they talk to you for two days then go silent then they won't Then they won't come back. Do I have a right to feel ticked off? We are trying to get to know each other before we meet Well, first off, you have a right to do anything The question is does it benefit you to get ticked off? How does it so answer me this what benefit do you have getting ticked off? How does that benefit you? Answer me that question and then I think you'll have the answer to your question What benefit do you have of getting ticked off? Doesn't affect him. He's already moved on Just causing you suffering being ticked off. You have a right to do it But I think it's a waste of energy anyway. All right. That's my two cents on that one Question I've been initiating with a man I like it's it is game playing to step back and see if he steps up and is it game playing? Yes, it is it is game playing. Listen I'm tired of the bullshit game playing. I feel like walk up to someone say I like you. Do you like me? I like you. You like me. We are joseph family Folks if you like someone just say I like you Do you like me if you like we like each other then let's spend some time getting to know one another Let's stop playing these games. Get on the fucking phone. Have conversations That's my wish for everyone. Anyway ts is in the house I express local wait, I expressed local bf five months wanted to know how he feels about me curious Why we haven't slept in sex for three weeks. He got defensive and didn't want to talk about and walked away What should I do? No, I'm sorry that that happened That certainly kind of must be aggravating Something must be going on with him the fact that he got defensive and didn't want to talk about and walked away I would simply say whatever his name is tim john fred, you know Ricky It seemed the other day. I brought something up that brought you some pause And now I feel a disconnect between the two of us Is it okay if we talk about what's going on Because I value our relationship and my belief is you value our relationship And I think it would be best for us to have a conversation about it Just simply say I need to know how we're doing so I can feel safe in this relationship Um, I I think something verbatim something along that lines might give you a chance to open up And if he gets defensive is this the person you want to be with I think people that Listen It's natural to get defensive But if you're in a constant state of defense Then how can you ever be in a state of offense where you really want to connect with one another? At least that's my impression on that one Thank you for the question sherry's in the house What's your opinion on when a man says most men just want to be saved? And doesn't respond when you ask what they mean by this Most men want to be saved And he doesn't want to answer the question. That's really kind of childish You know throwing something out there. Just say I'm really curious. I'm very curious What do you mean by a man being saved? He says and he says and he doesn't respond. You know what fuck him You know what keep asking him until he responds go you're not going to get my vagina You're not going to talk to me. I need to know what that means before you're going to get another word out of me Now I know that's childlike and I'm being a little rhetorical here But it sounds like a child So I would I would sit there and say you know what if you don't If you don't respect me Enough to answer a simple question And what does that say about how you feel about me? If you don't respect me enough to answer a simple question What does that say about how you feel about me? Ask him that question and see what happens and if he doesn't respond take a break from him He doesn't deserve your time at least at this moment and maybe when he's ready to talk have a serious conversation. Okay, sherry Sending you a hug. Hey, let's give rosa props five dollars super sticker. We need 45 dollars wait 45 dollars more Jonathan you're correct online dating is corrupt. It sets the scenario for men and women to be inauthentic My last two bad dates. They were via facebook date um To the extent that it is corrupt. I do believe it marginalizes people the swipe formats and i'm i'm still a fan Of match.com and some of the other website oriented sites, so I don't want to discount them completely But I will say uh, yes, I do agree. Thank you for the five dollar super sticker. We really appreciate it Joan jane says janey Where can we find singles in houston? They are standing all around you the question is How can I be in front of single men eligible men? That's a question I'd rather you ask and then come up with answers to how you can be in front of them start doing activities I would say dancing is something i'm probably going to add to my repertoire Women go dancing I'm gonna find i'm gonna go to where all the women are dancing. I'm gonna start hanging out in those places So that's my invitation for you dancing in houston is big time. I think you you guys do something called line dancing I don't know. I'm from california. So I don't know this stuff Rose says thank you for doing the lives Been teaching us how to communicate and have cultivating healthy relationships. My pleasure. Thank you rose Hey margaret's in the house and just gave us a four dollar and forty nine cents super Stupid stupid sticker super sticker. Thank you so much and leaves just gave us a ten dollar super sticker So we are almost With 31 dollars away from hitting our goal of 50 dollars tonight Sherry wants to thank us for thank me for responding. You're very welcome One of my facebook members How can I tell if a man is into me if he doesn't initiate do I ask I don't know how to do this Simply say I like you. How do you feel about me? Guys, let's just start doing that. Let's just start asking the most obvious questions. I like you How do you feel about me? Someone write that in the chat box. I like you. How do you feel about me? Okay? All right Hey, julie just gave us a 19 dollar and 99 cents super sticker. We are only a few dollars away. Thank you so much And it looks like Sherry just gave us another 10 dollar super sticker. Thank you so much Um Veronica so we made our 50 dollars. Let's shoot for a hundred dollars tonight I want to give away some money to insight seminars. So Veronica writes The idea of gaber mate as in trauma and illness Your mind can make you sick profile status is widow First impulse is to feel empathetic and how you go about inquiring about this. Hey google What does gaber mate mean? For my day cms a canadian physician and author He has a background in family practice and a special interest in childhood development trauma and potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health Including autoimmune disease Okay, so I guess gaber mate mate is a therapist. Uh, there isn't a question there, but um Thank you for letting me uh ask google because I had no idea what you were talking about And I want to just give props to sherry for a super sticker. Thank you so much Lisa's in the house Do you think it's a bad idea to date if you're having financial problems? You know men Women tend to be more concerned about a man who has spent financial problems men not as much. However Given that especially for the divorce demographic, um Given that you know, the average divorce man, uh, pay some alimony child support that sort of things I do believe two incomes is better than one So, uh, it could be possibly problematic But men tend to not be as concerned about it versus the other way around so, um It's you know, I guess ask yourself. What do you bring to the table? Okay, if it's not not that you you know, I think it's important that you pay your own bills because You know, if you're bringing a problematic financial life It's going to bleed into with someone else and they may not want to take on that responsibility So at least take care of paying all your own bills. I think that's a critically important thing but at the same time I would be up front with someone about it and the right person isn't going to be as affected by it Versus someone who where two incomes is better than one. Okay, so just something to ponder there Hey, someone just wants to let me know. I will go dance this weekend. Thanks for the advice. You're very welcome Donna has a question. I love dance. Let's go. I love california wears marie Missing her if you're not aware donna we did split up. I don't like saying that we ended We transmuted our relationship from a romantic living together dynamic Into she's moving from california to florida And then we're just going to transition to some sort of friendly relationship after that Um, she might jump on a video every now and again in the future we'll see Let's keep going. Jill wants to let me know. Dr. Gabor maté. So thank you Ah, let's keep going I'm sorry veronica. I didn't see your follow-up to your question. Uh, give me your follow-up. I forgot what the Uh, what the beginning was that oh Question is if they were widowed, how do we find out about the deceased and their relationship? Well, I guess there's an obituary someone out there. So that might be one way um That might be one way. Um, and you can ask them about it. You know, I mean usually people Tell me what happened or would you be open? Excuse me? Would you be open to sharing what happened? um, that might be Wait, if they are widowed, how do we find out about the deceased and their relationship? I just think you know what people are usually pretty transparent and you can ask them about it So that's what I would do All right Deb wants to know why did we split up? So I shared this in a previous video and without going into too many of the details During our relationship a lot of emotional stuff got stirred up for marie that relates to her childhood And her adult experiences. I think when you date a therapist type It's kind of we we explored a lot of our stuff from our past and what she came to conclude For herself was that she wasn't happy living here in california in particular She misses being with her primas and those who are uh of latina descent knows what that means um, not descent, but um Those who are spanish descent. I should say um and more importantly She realized that she couldn't fully give to the relationship as she had hoped she could give um because our childhood wounds and traumas can affect us deeply Into our capacity to fully give in a relationship. What did I say about that earlier? I think it's critically important and she recognized that she still needs to do work and she wasn't um Didn't feel comfortable doing that in the container of our relationship particularly because she didn't like living here Um, that's the risk we I took, you know exploring a long-distance relationship. I knew that going in I knew this could be a problem Not the specific problem But that's one of the challenges when someone moves is they move outside of their social structure And in her particular case, she felt more comfortable actually moving to where Her siblings are and where her cousins are and to be closer to columbia. So that's the why I'm saddened by it. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm saddened by it. Um You know There was a lot of things that were missing but I was like You know, I recognized that a relationship is also a give and take so I was open to accepting that But the same time there were things missing for me that I wished were more Prevalent in the relationship and I think some things were missing for her I think most importantly, I thought to myself, you know as sad as I was when I ended my little kid is bummed out At the end of the day, it was such a beautiful experience. I am grateful for every moment. Marie is a terrific person Just like margaret said And I just wish her nothing but the best, you know, we have a little bit We had a little bit of contention, you know after the fact I think that's natural to experience that but the same time we're doing our best to Uncouple with love uncouple with love. So thank you so much for that question And by the way, Cecilia wants to remind everyone prima means female cousin. Okay Hey, who wants to join me on the hot seat right now? Click that link in the chat box Oh Oh I just want to know where did we met? Well, we actually met on two dating sites. It was first match.com match.com She thinks it's millionaire match, but I think it was match.com But we met through those two sites and then we became facebook friends and connected with each other for about a year Before we actually physically met Given that there was a 1700 mile distance But we only spoke to each other about eight or nine times during not even that I would say about six or eight times during the course of one year I don't believe in incessant communication with a long distance person Hey, you speak if you happen to be in each other's neighborhoods, then you can meet All right, let's keep going here Julia's in the house. There you go. Thanks again for the super sticker. By the way, we're trying to get to $100 tonight We're already $50 there. We're halfway there question When he stressed out he stopped speaking to me for days and says it has nothing to do with me He just needs some time. We've been in a relationship for a year and a half now Now there's not a question there, but I will say this my mother used to do the same thing when she was stressed out She would do something called stonewalling. It's a very common thing for a person to do If now stonewalling is avoiding the relationship Okay, if they're avoiding the relationship that could be something problematic if he's stressed out He needs time to recharge his batteries Even dr. John gray talks about this men's testosterone levels drop And they need to go into their man cave to recharge their batteries, but if he's avoiding the relationship That could be more problematic. I didn't know what your question was so I kind of assumed that possibly that was the direction You're gonna have but um, let me know what it was patty I've joined local singles groups and meeting divorced men not open to marriage. How do I bring it up? What does commitment mean to you conversations without scaring them away? I think a significant percentage of men are reluctant to get divorced And guess what if you want to get remarried then the penis doesn't get to go inside the vagina until they have a change of heart Okay um You know, this is tricky This is really tricky because I know for a fact now I want to get remarried. I want to be married if if it doesn't have to be a Ceremony with the government it could be a spiritual ceremony But I wanted to clear in front of family and friends that make it make a vow to another person Make a declaration to another person that doesn't have to be a legal marriage with the government But I certainly want to do a spiritual marriage With that said and by the way why I'm saying that is I don't I understand why a lot of people are reluctant You know having a relationship with the government isn't the same as having a relationship with you But I would have a conversation About what it means to be in partnership with one another and what does that look like for you? Because I I know I want to live with someone at a minimum and I just did that But I I think it's important to have conversation is what do you want out of a relationship? If you want to just spend time Then and you want marriage then that probably isn't the right person for you I would say I would want to talk to only people who say they want a serious relationship Or they want marriage or some again. What does serious mean to them? That would be a good way to look at it Kim suggests I take ballroom dance lessons. It opens the door to a whole new life socially. You'll never get bored You know, I'm not I'm okay. I have a judgment that ballroom dancing is a bunch of you know Golden girls and that that there's anything wrong with golden girls. I just happen to be Uh, you know, I feel younger than that. So that's just my opinion. Maybe salsa dancing I need to learn salsa. Everybody seems to be salsa dancing. So that's what I'd like to learn Flaxy 50 is in the house. Do you have um, let's see what she has to say Can you put your camera on? Oh, no Hello No, I lost your connection crap and I can barely hear you so Here when you have your camera on all um, I'll put you back on All right, let's keep going here Leaf said look at I said $50. I want to raise it to a hundred dollars tonight Margaret just gave us a $7.99 super sticker I think we're 30 $40 away from hitting our mark Should I tell him this if it's hurtful? That was Julie's um Wait, what do you want? Oh, what are you trying to tell him? Let's see if you did more, uh Well, it listen if you feel hurt by the disconnect. I think it's really important that In relationship, I have a need for reciprocity. I have a need for connection When you go silent It makes me to begin to mistrust the sincerity of our relationship. I have a need for connection I have a need for reciprocity So, um, I would just bring that up And see how he responds again How a person responds matters more than what do they respond? Okay, so good luck with that Julie Karen asked me will you and Marie be talking or do you believe that it's best to cut ties completely? Um Listen, we're parting in a very amicable way Uh neither I have no intent of relying on her for emotional support. I have no intent for that She uh her her she's still going to be coming here to california to visit Some family she's gonna actually her orthodontist is just down the street So I know she's going to be coming visit for one more time in the next six months I'm going to be very cordial. I I don't expect excessive communication with one another But I think we can be friendly to warrant no words one another. I'm sure we'll see each other on facebook But um, I don't believe in cutting ties. I mean, I'm grateful for the relationship I have with my ex-wife and I'm grateful for my relationship with my last significant relationship where she's practically a big sister to me We're family so to Marie to me has transitioned to family She's now a cousin of mine in that emotional sense. Okay, that's the way I treat it. So Um, I hope that helps Karen Okay Cecilia says How do you quickly assess when what went wrong in a relationship to know when the glass ceiling has been removed and both you can Go at it again. If so How do you quickly assess what went wrong? Gosh, you know what I do better with specifics. I don't I it's too generalized. I'm sorry. That's a too generalized of a question I don't know how to respond to that Lee amazing says exactly if it's not marriage. Why date? Yeah, I'm kind of in the same I'm in agreement on that one A lot of people are giving me advice sherry wants to let me know kim ballroom dancing Latin any type of dancing is great. There's a dance studio nearby where I live. Yeah, there's a couple right around the corner from me too All right Please says to me Jonathan, please don't settle go all out after all self-love healing and spiritual work. You deserve it You know I'll be candid with you all I think for the longest time I've been trying too hard I've been trying too hard to meet someone I'm trying too hard to have a life partner and there's a real delicate balance between making efforts And trying too hard and I'm guilty I am genuinely guilty of trying too hard I think there's been a part of me that I am guilty of what? I am guilty of what I accuse many of you and that is I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself Folks, I wrote a book called what the heck the self-love anyway We teach what we need to learn And I think in this experience I recognize that I don't need someone to love me So I can feel good about myself and I share with you my personal life. I share my journey um Because I get it First off, can I be honest with you? Getting okay. Marie didn't dump me, but I'm just gonna say it. I got dumped It's fucking sucks I mean my little kid has been crying my little kid is Um upset my little kid is pouted You know the little kid inside of me is hurt. It fucking sucks At the same time I teach the I teach or at least I encourage The recognition that we don't need someone to love us to feel good about ourselves So I had this experience Because I get what it feels like to be many of you. I get what this feels like What it feels like to put your whole heart into something and not work out I don't judge Marie. I this is I went in I have to take 100 percent responsibility for my part in this I take 100 percent responsibility And if it wasn't so personal I would share some more details. I would But out of respect, I'm not going to give you the details because It doesn't benefit anyone well Certainly if anyone hired me privately, I mean on my private clients We do have more deeper intimate conversations and they get to hear some of the nitty gritty By the way, if you want to hire me check out the link to a discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you But i'm gonna tell you it does suck meeting people is hard Because most of us aren't surrounded by single eligible people in our lives. This is why you know margaret says Go out latin dancing exactly you know You know go do things to be in front of people You know, i'm gonna start doing more personal development workshops You know, I did tony robbins event and not that you not that you're in you know mingling with a lot of people But get a group together and go do these events There's right here in redondo beach. I'm doing a i'm going to a meditation Healing ceremony tomorrow. It's you know, I'm doing things to be in front of people not from a perspective of dating Just from a perspective of the more people you interact with the greater chance you have success Anyway, i'm i'm just babbling right now Oh, someone wants to say where's the hot seat if you want to join the hot seat. I just put the link up all right Adrienne says zumba classes. By the way, I've got two left feet you guys. I actually like freestyle dancing I just have a hard time with a with a controlled step I'm embarrassed Lee amazing says it does suck. We appreciate you being so transparent. Thank you so much True morris says I am the star in my own movie pick me up. I choose myself. I'm very happy about that way to go All right, sherry wants to say true morris. We love it All right, who wants to join me on the hot seat? Morningstar says I got dumped too and it hurts as hell I had an amazing time with him which makes even harder to let go you know Something occurs to me It sucks when you give your whole heart to someone And you're not reciprocated. It sucks And we can feel heart broken But you know occurs to me as I'm not heart broken My little kid might act out She didn't break my heart. My heart is my heart is still beating. Okay. I just checked It was 129 over 86 earlier. Okay. My heart was still beating. It didn't get broken My ego might be a little bit bruised. My ego might be a little bit bruised but what occurs to me is What what's broken is the is the death of the dream Is the dream the fantasy we have And when you lose a child you recognize that Ending can happen just like that I was watching a movie on netflix. I think it's called love again. It's with uh, I can't pronounce her first name. It's the chopra uh actress that's married to the Jonas brother or whatever those one of those guys and um She um, she's in love with someone dating for two years and he was killed in a car accident You know just like that everything changed See She felt heartbroken. There's no doubt about it. She had very strong attachment to lose someone that way is tough When we lose someone to the ending of a relationship I you know oftentimes people treat it like a car crash, but it wasn't a car crash It was just a misalignment for two people And I think when we can step in and accept that it's simply a misalignment We can then open ourselves up For a possible new relationship in the future And that's at least how i'm getting through it. Thank you for allowing me to share there again All right, let's keep going Margaret says you can learn to dance it takes a lot of effort, but it's worth it. I'm with you One of our facebook members says where are a lot of men at I put myself in front of them. So like again You have to figure that out for yourself. You have to go and say where are the where okay What do I love to do? And are men doing what I love to do if the answer is no then go Fine play by the way. Oh, let me stop for a second. I forgot to mention this I just saw a photograph of a healing circle here in redondo beach. Do you know it was a photograph of like 30 people 16 of them were guys Out of 30 people. I just did a workshop last weekend. It was 12 people Seven of them were guys and five of them were women men are doing shit You just have to put yourself out there Okay, they mean and I got to tell you when it comes to personal development self-help and spiritual work There are a lot of men putting themselves out there. So that's where you have to go find out workshops spiritual healings meditations in your neighborhood and go to those places Star shine says I'm heartbroken. He ignores my messages. He knows I still miss him. Okay, well Why does he why does it matter that he knows you still miss him? See what's most important that you love the little kid inside of yourself that's hurting Love that little kid That's what matters most Jennifer wants her I can out priona Chopra and her husband nick Jonas worship her. He's 10 years younger than her. Love that. I didn't know that age difference I think she's dry. I think she is gorgeous Um Jennifer says there are many single men at restaurants bars golf clubs and charity events. There you go See, we just already listing all the list all the places where you have met single eligible men High-end restaurants. That's a place to go high-end hotels. Now. You got a lot of travelers there But those are just some of the places to go Uh leafs wants to let starshine know have you let him miss you too? No contact really works either way you win Here's the problem with no contact if he reaches out Because he is he is you fill a void in his life Or is he coming back because he genuinely appreciates you just remember it's only worth it if you genuinely appreciate each other Jane wants to remind us all of meetup groups highly recommend that for people Yeah, I just I I now signed up for meetup and i'm doing i'm finding a lot of events Literally miles from where I live I'd rather walk if I could but a couple miles is plenty enough too Mental health institute says hey amazing content. Thank you so much. I appreciate that um, let's go here I live in a small town. Lawrence county has a population of 60 000 nearest small town is elwood pennsylvania 60 000 people there's got to be one eligible guy that's perfect for you out of 60 000 See the odds are working for you Oh Martha says I just came across your podcast last week. I was amazed by the way you approach the new dating world Oh, I'm going to be doing a whole thing on reality shows coming up soon. So wait to oh, who's going to be watching the golden bachelor You guys i'm excited about the golden bachelor Where is my uh, have you seen um, who's going to be on the golden bachelor? Oh my gosh It's going to be really exciting Where is my link? Um So folks who's watching the golden bachelor? Now I have hulu so i'm going to miss it by one day if they show it on hulu But i'm going to start reporting on this one. I am excited about the golden bachelor. I can't wait Oh, by the way, someone did mention pickleball is a great way to meet people But okay coming back to the golden bachelor So I guess it's one guy pretty good-looking guy for 70 um 30 women I think I've narrowed it down to the four. I think he's going to pick but that's all based on looks So we'll see if that's even going to hold up And I think this is going to change relationships like you can't believe here's my prediction See, I think the fastest demographic of singles is 50 and 60 year olds the fastest growing demographic of singles And I think you can be 60 65 years old and still get another 20 years out of life. Okay um Veronica says the one is going to win is the one with the best facelift. Oh my god, Veronica. That is funny Uh starshine says I'll be watching Oh god Okay, so the fastest the largest growing demographic of singles are between 50 and 60 years old I think we're in our prime time to really show up. Okay, so here's my rule of thumb Here's my four relationship rules. Okay Not rules, but first be your best self both physically and emotionally heal your childhood wounds Hero your traumas number two be clear on the type of relationship and learn how to vet This is where my job comes in check out the link to a discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you Then you have to learn how to be in front of and more importantly learn how to flirt and attract you got a ladies You got to learn how to flirt The woman who gets my attention she's gonna be flirting with me the women who don't flirt with me It's ain't gonna be fun Because I like to be invited in I like the hand key to be dropped But I like someone who knows how to banter And last but not least you have to be with someone who knows how to maintain a healthy happy relationship Let me repeat that being your best self showing up as your best self clarity on the type of relationship you want Learn how to be in front of and attract and flirt with the right guy and lastly learn how to maintain a healthy relationship Including good conflict resolution skills Lisa My question jonathan. I didn't see a question. Let's see Uh post your question again. Lisa. I didn't see it might be the last question I take for the night. Oh, here we go All right I broke it off with the friends with benefits recently and he still wants to be friends and my client and my client for higher-styling skincare He was a situation ship before being my client. Should I continue doing his services? You got to do what's right for you You got to do what's right for you If you guys were friends who had sex then just if you stop having sex I don't see why you can't still be friends. Probably is going to be problematic Usually the one person who what that one of you wanted something more and I suspect it was you lisa So if you can handle it then do what feels right for you. You don't need me to tell you that one Uh starshine says I heard depot and lo is a good place to meet guys. Yeah, maybe Construction sites might be a good place to meet guys All right Let's see Kim says she's going to be totally watching of what about the golden bachelorette They have to find 22 eligible guys over 60 who wants to be on the show I wonder if i'll be contacted for the show Well, I hope to be taken by the time the golden bachelorette shows up I hope to be taken by then and quite frankly It would probably be a conflict of interest given what I do for a living I don't think I could be on the show given i'm a dating a relationship coach But it would be kind of Uh, I don't think I could be I don't think I'm listen. I'm kind of boring Believe it or not. I'm kind of boring. So I don't think I could be the golden bachelor I I don't I mean it's as suave as you guys think I am. I'm actually kind of a I'm kind of an introvert when it comes to certain things. So Uh, oh within our community. I guess I'm your golden bachelor Who are the bachelorettes in our group raise your hand? Uh But I wonder who will be the golden bachelorette. It's usually down to the last four whoever's in the last four becomes the golden bachelorette um So anyway, hey look at them folks. We've been going at it for an hour. I am so grateful for all your love and support Did you find did okay if you have something to share about this video? Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts If you like this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell and please send this video out to at least two dozen of your friends Please two dozen your friends have them watch it. Ask them to send it out to two dozen friends as well All right, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jonathan baron himself love I'm going to reach into the camera with no pit stains today and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give inner them a hug of love Those hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank melanie and jennifer and star sign and sherry and nadie uh and lee amazing and uh nyc and kim and veronica and lisa Everyone big hugs to you all. Thank you so much wishing you a fab evening and ronda. I'm saying good night already Thanks so much for wanting to be on big hugs to you All right, folks have a fab night uh tomorrow. Oh tomorrow I'll be on at 11 30 with uh my coach and we're going to be talking about finding love versus attracting love Okay. All right. Have a great evening. Bye now. Bye