 Convention Orlando Florida 2018. I am Hunter Drew and I have the honor of introducing our next guest. He goes by Tex. Tex is a friend, a mentor, and a man who's been thrown ropes for quite some time now. He's a moderator at the Fraternity of Excellence. He's active on Twitter and you can find a majority of his writing over at texasdom.com. Now when I first came across Texas work it's when he joined the original men of March, our 31 DTM campaign. A campaign that I started and then I failed and he looked at me and said, hey, stop being a pussy, work a little bit harder. Okay, Roger that sir. Since then we've been best friends and though he never explicitly said you can hit me up any time you have an issue, I took advantage of that. So every time I need an issue, every time I was going through personal matters, my family, I'm pretty sure my wife met him, she gave him a bigger hug than myself. He's a man who puts himself out there to anyone who needs it. He's a man that has created the resource and got thrown everyone on his back and he will carry you to that finish line if need be. So let's give it up for Tex. So if Hunter is the El Dorf Gimley, I guess I'm the elder white wizard Gandalf or something like that. I work with it. I like the Lord of Rings. I have lived my entire life to be here right now for this moment. So have you. We all came together for a reason. We took it on ourselves to fly out here and get here. Everybody's talked about it. We've listened to a lot of great speakers. But every single bad decision I've made, every single dead in road I've gone down, every single undesirable woman I dated before I met my wife, every covert contract I have written and I have written a million of them has led me to this day right here in front of you. So when I got out of college, the space shuttle blew up and I had to go to work teaching high school. And there was a class I was forced to teach. It was called Earth Space Science. And it was for the kids that couldn't do chemistry and biology. They were just not the sharpest sticks in the quiver. So at the end of the first semester on the space part of this whole thing, I said, Okay, I'm going to have this lecture folks. I want you to put your notebooks down. I want you to not worry about being tested on this. I just want you to listen. And I gave the lecture of a lifetime. It was on black holes, Earth Space Time theory of relativity. I mean, I knocked it out of the park. I was so patting myself on the back during this whole thing. So at the very end, I said, Does anybody have any questions? And little Mary Catherine in the back raised her hand. Okay, this is going to be good. She really got into this really well. She says, Coach, does this have anything to do with the Bermuda triangle? Open up the window stuck my head out and just screams. So I got out of coaching right after that. So why am I here? I am here to talk to you a little bit about how I got to where I'm at. And we're going to talk about something called DNS, which is dominance and submission. But I want you to know one thing. I am you. I have walked the same walk. I might be a little older version than you. There's one or two people I might be a slightly younger version than you in here, but not too many. I've gone through the battles. I've done a lot of things that have gotten me to this point. Some good and some bad. 30 years ago, I got married. I was the most blue pill guy in this room. I listened to Donovan's little fabulous for and all of his things that he is this morning. I'm right there with him. I made a lot of mistakes early on. I dated a lot of bad women before I finally met my wife. That's a good woman. But single mom, check mark right there. And I thought I could do everything right if I was just a nice guy. Thank you, Dr. Glover. Great book. One of the first ones I ever discovered by the way. And so everything went along pretty good. I'd gone through college. I was a bouncer and a bartender and I had a security company thing that the summit Houston for rock concerts when I was living the dream I was spending plates things were going along really really well. Decided to settle down, got married, and all of a sudden the sex dried up. We all know the story. Things weren't go so good. But the one thing that I look back at now is that I don't blame her at all. She just did what she needed to do to do what she needed to do. She never cheated on me like that. It's just she was eventually forced to lead. This was my fault. I gave up leadership. The king abdicated his own throne and stepped aside. You go back to the Lord of the Rings thing, right? The king and one of those kingdoms where he was all you know just sitting back there all zombie liked and somebody else was running the kingdom. That's what it was only one person could drive the bus when you got two people in a relationship. She was driving our bus. It wasn't that she wanted to it was that she had to because I was out dicking around doing things you know working hard making the money coming home drinking the beer on the weekends drinking the Jack Daniels watching the football over then. Oh my god. DVR's hit and cable TV really hit in the 80s right 90s. Now I got football on four nights a week pro football and I got college footballs on Saturdays and I mean I'm just sitting there. I became Peter Griffin the family guy man. I was that guy. It was it was ugly. So along the way we raised two kids one of my sons with me here today. We did a pretty good job as parents. We were on the same page parenting which is a huge thing if you're a parent your wife and you need to be on the same page. That makes life so much easier and the kids get this consistency. So we did a good job parent our kids. We did a shitty job parenting our relationship. So by the time everybody had moved out and we were sitting there by ourselves looking at a wiener dog thinking now what do we do now. Eventually I kind of went my little way. She went her way. I was miserable. She was miserable. It's a sad way to live your life and we were kind of locked in golden handcuffs great job big house mortgages the whole nine yards we own rental properties we had business together. Lots of things that went in that in that regard. So eventually we finally had both had enough and we were searching trying to figure out what we were going to do and we were miserable. I was in therapy by the way don't be ashamed to go to therapy. I have a female therapist who actually when I start talking about dominance and submission to her and talking about you know the things I like to do. She was cool with it and in fact there's a modal therapy called EMDR which is pretty impressive stuff. If you're trying to break lose some bad memories and things but I digress. So at some point she had suggested to me to start spending some more time by myself but instead of jerking around playing guitar watching TV start thinking about what makes me happy. And I had my girl do the same thing sit down figure out what makes you happy. Let's not talk about it now just try to figure it all out and we danced around it and dance around it. Eventually we started talking divorce and the D word had never entered our vocabulary. We called it the D word for 25 years or so. And finally we were like you know what this isn't working. We'll sell it all split it down the middle go our separate ways. But neither one of us wanted to do that. Right. We still loved each other. It was something that was in our hearts. And I know we talk about don't get married. You hear all the different things that you've heard this week. There is true love there. It's still there. There's love and we love each other. I don't want to be with anybody but her. That's just the way I am wired. I don't believe that's one I just these days because I'm living a red pill life these days. So eventually we got to this point we got to the final drive. She was going to go to the airport to go out to fly to Alabama to visit the grandkids. You have three which are awesome by the way. I'm thinking we're driving down this lonely road going through the north side to get to the airport. It's raining like hell. The ditches are filled with water the whole nine yards and then we we have that moment where she says hey I really want to mention something to you. I want to talk to you about something and you know that feeling you got when your wife says I want to talk to you about something. And I knew it was coming. I'm thinking she's going to be gone for 10 days. We've got a separation in our future. We need to do this. She's going to be gone. This is going to be good. I can go get drunk every night or whatever I need to do to take care of me. And she said hey I've been studying about what makes me happy and who I am and all that. And she said I think I'm a submissive. I was like what. I mean she runs her own company and that's also fatal flaw if you work with your wife in the same company. I would go in there and kind of assist her with some bookkeeping and things like that. And eventually I became her employee and that transferred back to the house which was another one of the issues that we dealt with. But the woman says to me she goes I think I'm a submissive. I'm like yeah I can maybe see that okay. She said I want you to think about something. I would like you to think about becoming my dominant. My dom. I about ended the truck right up about there. Are you serious. Okay. And my first reaction was yeah sure I got this. You know problem. And inside of me I'm going holy crap. What am I going to do now. And so we got to the airport. I walked her up and I got to the ticket counter and the continental or united lady behind the counter says she goes oh you're walking her up here to make sure she gets on the plane so you can go have fun right. Just making a stupid blue pill joke. And I'm like no I'm walking her up to the plane because I want to make sure she's safe. And that sparked something in her when I said that. And I was real freaking serious about it. Freaking by the way not fucking. So I walk her over to the little Starbucks coffee shop there in the terminal. I couldn't go through security we were there early because I'm obsessed about getting the airport early as fits. So we're sitting there having coffee and talking. And we actually had the first passionate kiss we probably had in two years sitting in that airport. It was a fucking mind blowing experience to me. I got her on the plane. I went home and I spent 10 days researching this dominance and submissive lifestyle. I thought okay she wants to do something to try to save our marriage. She thinks this is who she is. Is that dominant who I am. And I've always been pretty alpha until I just for some reason decided to give up. And I just gave up. You know lack of sex whatever. Jack talks about intimacy. Men need intimacy. At least I do. I wasn't getting it. I just wasn't you know. I want to be with the woman in bed. I want he was talking about this. I could have been my story Jack. I mean I was exactly where I was. I mean I was a lot of empathy brother. But so I go to I go to research this thing and I'm I'm seeing some crazy shit out there right. So keep kind of moving a little bit and I figure out what it is. It's total power exchange. It's where she trusts me enough to give up all of her control all of her power. And she says OK I want you to lead me. I want you to lead this family. I want you to protect me. I want you to do all these things. I want you to quit asking me to make decisions. I want to give up my power. And I take it. I willingly take it on which is a hell of a commitment that you're going to make to somebody. So she's now free to figure out who the hell she is. Now she doesn't have to worry about paying the bill. She doesn't have to worry about the money coming in and do we this that and the other. I quit asking her stupid things like where do you want to go eat. I mean times we all done that right. We want to eat. I don't know. You sit there in the parking lot for 15 minutes trying to hash it out and each of you trying to figure out which one wants to do in addition never works. So the other thing that came up on this was is this just kinky sex because you know there's a lot of kinky sex going on in the BDSM world and DS are two initials in BDSM. So there's a lot of ways we can take that we'll talk about that a little bit because God knows we all like to talk about sex right. So is it. Let me ask you a question. What is the fastest selling paperback book of all times. You're kidding right. Why is that. Think about this. This is like kryptonite to feminists OK because they're looking at this all we're empowered and we're doing this at the other and yet thousands if not millions of women are reading this book and masturbating in their bed when their husbands are off doing something else right. This is like they're into this and so I'm sitting here rewind about a year prior to the to the final drive. I'm laying in bed. I'm thinking it's over. I'm thinking I got to start. This is this is bad. I've started lifting weights. I started trying to figure out how to take care of myself. I said OK I'm going to start losing weight and I ended up dropping over about the last 10 years maybe 100 pounds and started losing weight exercising doing I mean the shit tests were beginning. I mean the shit tests were ramping up man. Let me tell you why are you doing that. I was doing P 90 X y'all know P 90 X Tony Horton. Fucking name. I love Tony right. Tony motivates the hell out of me. Well his little voice going on every single night night after night after night on the TV was starting to really give her ammunition for shit test. Tony's gay. I don't like Tony. I'm like get over yourself. You know I'm losing weight. You're not right. So we're we're we're doing what you need to do. Well eventually she starts catching up and she starts ramping up her game. So this is all this going on. So in the meantime we're still fighting. We're still enemy combatants passing each other in the hallway sleeping in the same giant ass bed. OK. Her way over here me way over here. So I download this book onto my iPad because God knows I'm not going to buy the paper copy. Right. No way. And I'm laying in their bed reading it. And this is this is awful awful chick for me. It's it's enlightening man. You'll learn a lot about women if you start to read this book. Just read the first half second half shit. She looks over at me and she says what are you reading. And I said I'm reading 50 shades of gray. And she says she goes can't believe you're reading that crap. And just like that right. And so fast rewind fast forward year and a half later I'm actually flogging her ass with a freaking leather flogger. And I'm like I remember when I was reading that 50 shades of gray. I got a good idea here. So we get back to basics. This is even if dominance of submission is not your thing even if you're not married you're not an LTR. You're just a single guy you want to spend place. Let me tell you something about 50 shades of gray. That tells me women like sex and they like it a lot as Dr. Glover said and they also like it fairly rough. Women are not going to break they give birth. Babies come out of them right pretty painful experience to watch. They like to be dominated they like you to be aggressive in the bedroom. They want you to be vocal in the bedroom. That was something else that I had missed out on completely. I used to be get in there to to pump Chuck you know dump whatever you guys just say all the time. I mean I was in there I was out of there we're good to go no wonder she didn't want to have sex. It wasn't very much fun for her probably that and me. I was a big fat ass too. So it's like you know what's the old line we hear about the men's fear go look in the mirror stand there naked look in the mirror and ask yourself what I fuck me. Would you I mean think about that I at the time I look back and I can't believe she wanted to I expected her to fuck me. You know I wouldn't have no self respect you know and that's a hole in the rabbit hole but you got to have masculine and feminine energy. They've got to be polar opposites they've got to have a spark you know you can't take two positive and ends of a magnet expected to pull together you got to have a positive and a negative and they'll latch on to each other. I'm telling you this goes back centuries thousands millennia it goes back it's a natural order it's the way men and women women have been designed to interact for years men lead women follow and if you find a woman that is exploring her submissive side she expects you to