 Okay, hello my friends. So I was supposed to get on a flight this week for Mexico, but at the last minute I cancelled my trip. My bike was all packed and everything was set to go. But I woke up feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. I should have been bouncing off the walls with excitement. I love Mexico and I love riding my bike. But something deep inside me told me not to go. And instead of forcing myself out the door, I followed my heart. And even though this decision was tough, it was right. I look at this channel as a community of friends. And as your friend, I'll always be straight up and honest with you. All of you mean a lot to me and I feel like I have a responsibility to be real with you. If you watch my channel every week, you see me having the time of my life. And by and large, I am. When I'm out there loving up on Mother Nature, everything is right in the world. But after a very grueling summer of adventures, I've been dealing with intense feelings of burnout for the first time in my life. I'm tired in every way and it feels like I've lost a bit of my spark. Physically, I feel slower than normal. My daily runs are more of an effort. And I even felt sluggish on my trip with John and Mira in November. Mentally, I'm a little subdued. Finding motivation to create for this channel has been tough. Being self-employed is awesome, but also hard. I always have to show up for myself. I'm on at all times, whether I'm on an adventure, editing videos, marketing videos, or constantly responding to messages. For the past 15 years, I've been traveling an average of 150 days a year, many times on difficult adventures while creating tons of content. That's a lot, even for a guy like me with seemingly endless energy. But guess what? I'm just like anyone else. There's a limit. And the constant effort has manifested into how I'm feeling today. Blah. Or maybe I'm feeling this way because I'm 43 and things are just harder, but I'm not ready to give into that theory just yet. Now besides my channel and personal adventures, I think another factor in my mood is the heaviness of the world. On a personal note, my grandma is currently dealing with severe dementia, and it's been really hard to see her suffer and go downhill so quickly. Tragedy struck my hometown in March when a killer walked into a grocery store and murdered 10 people. And just this past week, a raging firestorm burned down 1,000 homes in my beloved Boulder. The pandemic has been a huge bummer, climate change is scaring me, and the division in my country is heartbreaking. I'm a sensitive guy, and I feel all this very deeply. Now I don't want this video to be a total downer. There is hope in all of this. I'm just processing everything and trying to find my way out of this funk. I'm actually looking at this moment as a great opportunity to evolve as a storyteller and as a human. And I want to make it clear that I absolutely love what I do, and I'm incredibly grateful that I get to create content for a living. I truly feel that this is why I'm on this planet. This is what I'm meant to be doing. And that's an amazing reality that I don't take for granted. Overall, I've had a great year. My channel is bigger than ever. I can't believe that I have well over 100,000 subscribers. But more important than the clicks and likes are the daily messages from people telling me about how they started biking or running and that it changed their lives for the better. It's these types of inspirational stories that motivate me to continue on this path. My goal since the very beginning of this YouTube journey has been to inspire you to get off your couches and get out there. And it brings me great joy when I hear about your successes. Now I never meant for this channel to be a greatest hits of Ryan's adventures. It's not. The mission is to be of benefit. You usually see me at peak energy, oh, laying through beautiful landscapes. And that's all genuine. But I don't shy away from showing you the hard parts either. You've seen me talk about crushing heartbreak, about quitting alcohol, and the mental anguish that follows when adventures have to be cut short. My videos are a genuine account of my life and the wonderful people who I meet along the way. And it's not always unicorns, puppies, and tasty bean burritos. Life is just hard, and that's all part of the human experience. My adventures are sacred to me. Being outside is where I feel most alive and connected to myself and the world. If traveling this week felt right, I would have gone, but it just didn't. What's facing me now is a different type of challenge. It's all new. And like with any challenge, it's hard and uncomfortable and scary. But the only way to get to the top of this mountain is to deal with it head on. How am I going to work on all this? Well first off, I'm going to chill out and watch a lot of Netflix. That Cobra Kai show is pretty cool. I'll also be spending a lot of time with my amazing friends and looking to them for advice. And as you know, I get a lot of answers and solace from being out in nature. You know about my thinking trees up there up the hill? Well, I'll be spending a lot of time there just sitting and pondering. I'm also going to the doctor to get a physical. It's been a long time, and I want to make sure that everything is good with my body. And in an effort to serve my community, I'm working with priority on getting bikes to families who have been affected by the recent fires. I realize that bikes can't replace a burned down house, but we all know that getting on two wheels is a great form of therapy. And I've always found that helping others helps me. Confronting and overcoming all the challenges in my life have made me a more compassionate and pathetic and loving human. And I look at this moment in my life as a chance to tap into everything that's inside me and come out stronger. Now, how long will it take to break out of this? I don't know, but making this video is actually helping me process everything. And I thank you for listening. If you've made it this far, sorry to all the kids out there, this is a boring one. And I want to reiterate that this channel isn't going anywhere. Although it's taken a monumental amount of work to build this channel, I'm also very aware that this is a dream job. And I'm very proud of this channel. I'm conserving my energy now so that I can continue creating content throughout the year. Also, if any of you out there are going through tough times, I see you. And I'm sending out a big hug. It's a crazy time to be on this planet. And if we can all support and love one another, the future will be bright. At least I really truly feel that way. I have faith in us humans. So thank you once again for all your support over the years. I hope you're having a good start to 2022. Man, that sounds futuristic. It's going to be a good year. I promise. Now here's a big hug. Big hug of sending to you and a kiss. Thank you.