 J.E. Jell-O! The Jell-O program, back in Hollywood, California, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with, I've Got My Eyes On You. Ladies and gentlemen, when you hear me say Jell-O, here's what I hope you think of. I hope you get a picture in your mind of a swell, gay, colorful dessert, chuck full of bang-up goodness filled with rich, juicy flavor. Because that's just what the name Jell-O stands for. It means the most delicious, refreshing desserts you ever enjoy. But it means more than that. Because the name Jell-O is a trademark, it's the property of general foods. And believe me, that trademark is not just a handy name, it's a real responsibility. It means something to be lived up to. So when you buy Jell-O, you know you're getting the finest product possible. And that's why year in, year out, the makers of Jell-O are making it even better. And it's also why we ask you to insist on Jell-O by name. To be sure of getting the one and only Jell-O, the real thing. So look for those big red letters on the box when you buy. They spell Jell-O, America's favorite gelatin dessert for 40 years and better than ever today. Nice on you played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, last Sunday our broadcast came to you from Oakland, California, where we gave a benefit performance for the March of Dimes. So now we would like to show you exactly what happened at the conclusion of that program. The place is the Civic Auditorium in Oakland. The orchestra has just finished the closing number and Jack is at the microphone saying, as he always does, at the end of every... Number of the 17th program in the current Jell-O series. And I want to say, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure appearing here in Oakland for the March of Dimes. You're a swell audience and thanks again very much. Good night, folks. J-E-L-L-O Well, that's that. Gee, what a crowd. Follow me, Jack. I'll get you through the dressing room. I don't know of any better interference, Don. I'm right behind you. Can I have your autograph, Miss Livingston? Why, certainly. Here you are, little boy. Mary. Mary will never get through this mob. Oh, Mr. Harris, can I have your autograph? Sure, honey. What's your name and telephone number? Phil, cut that out. Keep pushing through, Don. Here's the dressing room, Jack. Come on, Dennis. Here I am, Mr. Benny. Wow, what excitement. Well, fellas, there's another one in the bag. Well, how do you think the show went over, Jack? Very good, Don, considering we had to work in such a big auditorium. Yes, sir, 9,000 people. And they were a swell audience. They sure were, Jack. Did you hear them laugh when I said I was sharing the bridal suite with Phil Harris? Oh, they really went for that one. And when I said I hope you'll both be very happy, they screamed, didn't they, Mary? Sure. How about the yell I got when I said Dennis Day was sleeping in the bassinet? Yeah. I don't know what they were laughing at. I never slept in a bassinet in my life. Well, maybe you haven't, Dennis, but they laugh because a bassinet sounds funny. Sure it's funny. Imagine a guy sleeping in a horn. A horn? Phil, you're thinking of a bassoon. A bassinet is a baby's crib. Oh, well, say that's even better, ain't it? Yes, Phil, we think so. Say, Jack. What? I thought you were marvelous tonight. I never saw you work better. Wow. Gee, you got big laughs. They screamed at you. Well, thanks, Mary. Now stick your shirt tail back in. Oh, was that out during the broadcast? Why didn't somebody tell me? I thought you were doing it for a gag. Phil, I don't resort to those corny tactics like you do. You never got to laugh in your life without mugging it up. What are you talking about? I was the hit of the show tonight and I didn't make one face. You were the hit of the show? Yes. If you don't believe it, I'll leave it at dawn. All right, and I'll leave it to Mary. Are you sure you want to do that, Jack? Correction, I'll leave it to Dennis. I got more laughs. Oh, let's go out and eat. Every week, you two have the same argument. Well, I'm tired of Phil's bragging all the time. When you come right down to it, he had very little to do on this show. I'm fixing that, too. Next week, I'm going to bring in my own rider. Oh, no, you don't. The last rider you brought in didn't know a single joke that didn't begin with a traveling salesman went up to a farmer's daughter. A fine rider. What was his name again? Belly Laugh Barton. That's the guy. Some gag man. Oh, Jack, remember those cards he used to hand out? Cards. Yeah. Belly Laugh Barton. Call out the police. I'm a riot. Oh, yes. What a pest he was. You never did like that guy, did you, Jack? No. And his idea of humor. I told him one day if he didn't watch out with that cane of his, I'd hit him right over the head with it. Whatever became of that broken-down genius anyway? He's working for Fred Allen. Oh, well, they ought to make a marvelous combination. Belly Laugh Barton and call me a taxi. OK, you're a taxi ally. They ought to get along swell together. Oh, Jack, you're just sort, Allen, because last Wendy said you were stingy. Listen, Mary, saying I'm stingy is one thing and proving it is another. Well, he said it and I'll prove it. That's all. Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary, and this goes for Phil Harris. Oh, Jack, stop all this arguing. We just finished the program. Let's relax for a while. You're right, Don. I'm sorry. But Phil always, well, forget it. I'm going back to the hotel now. And listen, fellas, I want you all to get a good night's rest because, remember, we're leaving very early in the morning for Yosemite. We're going to have four lovely days in the snow. I thought you were kidding, Jack. Are you really treating us to a vacation, Yosemite? I certainly am. Oh, boy, am I going to pop you with a snowball. You're not going to pop me, Phil, because you're not going. You invited me, didn't you? That's been canceled as of your attitude tonight. So forget it. Now, fellas, it's pretty cold up in Yosemite, so I think that tomorrow morning, we ought to buy all the warm clothes and equipment we'll need for the winter sports. That's a good suggestion, Jack. I'm going to get some skates and go ice skating every day. So was I until I heard that. Don't worry, Mary. It gets pretty cold up there. That ice will even hold Wilson up. That's the same. If I hear a crack, I'm not going to stop to think of an answer. All right, suit yourself. Now, Dennis. Yes, please. I think you ought to buy a pair of ski shoes and some skis. Well, I've never been on skis before, Mr. Benny. It's pretty dangerous, isn't it? No, there's nothing to it. You just keep one foot a little ahead of the other and your knees slightly bent. You, you soon get onto it. Say, Jack, no one happened to you last year when you went skiing at Lone Pine. Well, that was just an accident. What happened, Mary? Jack banged into a tree so hard a squirrel came down waving a white flag. Mary, the only reason I hit that tree is because I was skiing on one foot. And the only reason you were skiing on one foot is because the other one got caught in your bloomers. Those weren't bloomers. Those were ski pants. Those were bloomers and you borrowed them from me. Mary, you keep that up and you'll stay home like Phil Harris. Anyway, Dennis, I'll meet you in the store tomorrow morning and be sure to buy a pair of skis. Bloomers, too? No. Now, get this straight, everybody. We'll meet in the morning at 7.30 sharp in that little sporting goods store right next to my hotel. That's where I want you to buy all your clothing and equipment. Oh, getting a cut, eh? No, I'm not getting a cut, eh? Now, I want everybody to meet there so we can leave right from the store for Yosemite. Okay, Jackson, it's a date. You're not going, Phil. Neither am I. I have to get up at 7 o'clock. Mary, it won't hurt you to get up early one morning. What did you do when you worked in the May Company? Up till noon, I had a stand-in. Just the same, you meet me at 7.30 tomorrow morning. Well, I'm going to run along now, fellas. Is everything clear? We're not coming back. Good. Come on, Mary, let's go. Oh, gee, Wiz, Jack, I don't want to get up at 7.30. Look, Mary, I know it's early, but once you're up, you'll enjoy it. The air is snappy and fresh, and he'll feel like a million dollars. Except the auditorium, and right after Dennis Day's song, we will show you what happened the following morning. Sing, Dennis. It's a blue sea, the sky, my heart and eyes. We're all over the life that brightened my life, my stars and moon, and with your light came the night in my life. No laughs, no love, no harm. It's a blue sea that once were filled with empties. It's a blue sea. 7.30. I'm sorry I had to get you up so early in the morning. Did you have a good night's rest? Oh, shut up. Gee, you're always so touchy in the morning. Well, you'll feel better after you've had some breakfast. I ate. Mary, what's the matter with you anyway? Look how nice it is outdoors. The sun is shining, the birds are singing. Be happy and gay, you're going on a vacation. Hooray. That's a spirit. Well, let's go in the store and buy what we need. Hey, we're the only ones here. I guess we must be the first customers, eh, Mary? Yeah. Oh, there's the clerk. Good morning, sir. Good morning. I'm going to Yosemite and I'd like to buy some equipment for the winter sport. You can rent everything you need up there. I know that, but I'd rather buy my own. Much more expensive that way. I don't care, I want to buy my own equipment. Okay, you're the doctor. Well, let's see. I'll need some heavy woolen socks and a sweater. Stay, Mary, it's pretty cold up there. Do you think I ought to buy some long underwear? Will they come any longer than the ones you're wearing? They're not so long, they just stretch when they're washed. A young man, I think I'll take some long underwear, woolen socks, two pair of mittens and a sweater. What are you going to do with all that? I told you I'm going up to Yosemite. Well, how long are you going to stay there? About four days. Okay, you're the doctor. Believe me, I know what I'm doing. Now, let's see. Oh, yes, I almost forgot. I want to get some snowshoes, a fur hood, and some felt-lined boots. Oh, come now. Never mind, it's cold up there. Excuse me a minute, my wife just came in. Good morning, dear, I've lost your lunch. Thanks, darling. Are you busy right now? Yes, I'm waiting on Admiral Bird. Admiral Bird yet? Hey, Mary, I'm going to buy some skis. Come over and help me pick out a pair. Be careful, Jack. Remember what happened to you at Lone Pine. Don't worry about me, Mary. I can ski like a Norwegian. I walk back and walk here, and they used to call me Bajork Benny. You're a Bajork, all right. Well, at least you're waking up. Say, here's a nice pair right here. Hey, young fellow, I think I'll buy this pair of skis right here. Pretty dangerous, you know. Not if you know how to use them. I want this pair of skis. Okay. I'm the doctor, so don't argue. My goodness. Very well. Shall I wrap them up, or do you want to wear them? Wrap them up, of course. How can I get my car with a pair of skis on? Take the top down. Now look, young man, I didn't come here to argue with you. I just want to buy these skis. How much are they? $22.50. $22.50? Buy them, Jack. You can send them to your father in Florida. See, that should have gotten a bigger laugh in California. Well, they're pretty steep, but I'll take them. I never saw such a... Well, hello, Don. Hiya, Dennis. Hello, Jack. Hello, Mr. Benny. Well, Mary, this is a little early for you, isn't it? Oh, no. It's wonderful. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. What do they want anyway? Don't annoy her, Don. You know, the princes can't get up until noon. Oh, I'd get up early too if I stayed home every night like you do. What do you mean I stay home every night? You know, very well, I go out with Gladys on Wednesday and Saturday. And Thursday, I bowl until midnight. See, you're a regular Tommy Manville. Don't be funny. Say, Don, you better get whatever you need in a hurry so we can get started. Well, the only thing I need, Jack, is a pair of ski pants. Okay. Say, young man, have you got a pair of ski pants his size? Let him ask me. Oh, I'm sorry I intruded. Ask him, Don. Young man, have you got a pair of ski pants that'll fit me? Just so don't bend over. Ha-ha, that's very comical. Quiet. I've had just about enough for you. For me? Well, of all the insolence. Why don't you punch him in the nose, Jack? You do it. You're more in the mood than I am. Come on, Don. Get your stuff and let's get out of here. Do you want anything, Dennis? No, I bought all the stuff I need across the street. I'm glad you did. Come on, fellas, let's go. Rochester's waiting for us in front of the hotel with the car. Okay, Jack. Oh, boy, Yosemite. I can hardly wait. Well, look who's here. Hiya, Jackson. Hello, fellas. Hello, Bill. What are you doing in this store, Phil Harris? What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to buy my stuff for Yosemite. You're not going up in my car. Who cares? I got a car of my own and I'm leaving at three o'clock this afternoon. Oh, you are, eh? Yes, and I'll be in Yosemite before you finish taking up collection for your gasoline. All right, sour dates. I'm paying for this trip gasoline and all. Come on, fellas. I'll ride up with Phil. You'll ride with me. Let's go. Here, Dennis. Carry my ski. Okay, Mr. Benny. What can I do for you, sir? Give me a real snappy ski outfit, a pair of ice skates and a case of musician's milk. Oh, bourbon, eh? Yeah. You and Mary comfortable back there? Yeah, we're fine, Jack. Everything's okay. Speak for yourself, John. I'm half frozen. Well, put the blanket around you. Rochester, can't you go a little faster? We've been driving eight hours and we're nowhere near Yosemite. We made much better time from Los Angeles to Oakland. Mr. Wilson wasn't with us then. Oh, that's right. I can hardly move with these suitcases and Don all around me. Oh, stop complaining, Mary. I'm holding Dennis on my lap, ain't I? You wouldn't if you had a windshield. That's so. I'm just holding Dennis so you'll be comfortable. Are you all right, Dennis? Yeah, I'm fine. Wrap your muffler up around you and you'll be all right. Oh, okay, Mr. B-B-B-Benny. Add up, boy. Say, Jack, why don't you let me hold Dennis back here on my lap? You've got fat, Don. You don't need him. See, the scenery is beautiful along here. Hey, Rochester. Yes, boss? Listen to the knock on that motor. Does that mean anything? Not anymore. Well, I wish you'd watched those things. See, the way you abuse this car will have no trade-in value at all. Trade-in value? Yes. Boss, this car has to tiptoe past the junkyard now. Who does, eh? Well, if you want to know something, Rochester, a man offered me $485 for this car. Oh. Well, he did. I said, uh-huh, that's as far as I'll go. He's not the only one I've had other offers. Dennis, will you please sit still and enjoy the scenery? Say, Jack, I'm getting hungry. You are? Yeah, when are you going to take the hot dogs out of the radiator? As soon as they're done. Well, sit back and be patient. Gee, we'll be going through the mountains in a minute. Oh, Rochester, what's the gas situation? Still 19 cents a gallon. I don't mean that. I mean, what does the gauge say? It's right between empty and positively. We're all right for a while yet, but we better stop at the next station and not take any chances. Oh, Jack. Jack. What? Look at Don. He sound asleep. I don't know. Why don't you go to your neighborhood grocer and ask him for a package of tempting, delicious jello. It comes in ice skate, snowshoes, cherry, orange, lemon, and orange. Isn't that cute? So insist on genuine jello and look for the big red letters on the... ski pants. Ski pants? Wow. Maybe I better wake him up, Jack. He'll catch cold. No, let him alone. He's happy. Hey, Rochester, take it easy. Going around these curves here. Rochester, wake up! We're not there yet. Rochester, don't you ever fall asleep at the wheel again. We could have been killed. Now, watch yourself. Okay, boss. And it's getting dark. Turn on the headlights. They've been off for 15 minutes. No. See, they're not very bright for driving, are they? Oh, well, the moon will be out pretty soon. That's all right for songwriters, but it won't help me any. Oh, stop squawking and watch the road. Pull over at the side, Rochester. Somebody wants to pass us. All right, come on, come on. How are you, Jackson? Why don't you get a horse? It's Phil Harris. Hello, Phil. Ignore him, Mary. It's a big show-off. Look at him ahead there. Rochester, step on the gas. I'll give you $50 if you pass him. I'll give you $100. Go back to 50. I feel bad enough. Well, let him go. We don't want to be with him anyway. Jack, we'll never make you somebody by tonight. It's pretty dangerous driving through the mountains. Maybe you're right, Don. Let's stop somewhere and leave early in the morning. Oh, no, I got up this morning, but tomorrow comes the revolution. We'll get up with the rest of us. We'll stop at an auto court. We ought to get to one pretty soon. I hope so. Well, I'm glad to hear from you, Dennis. I thought you were frozen. Rochester, see those lights up ahead? That might be an auto camp. Slow down. OK. Now, listen, fellas, when we get there, I'm paying for all your rooms. Yes, sir. Of course, I really don't have to, because our vacation doesn't officially start until we get to Yosemite. But just the same, this is on me. Yes, sir. Yep. Keep talking, brother. You're hooked. I'm not hooked. I'm only too glad to do it. Say, boss, you were right. Look at that sign. Where? Right there. It says Mountain View Auto Court. Our cabins are cozy, so come in and doze. Oh, yes. And it says 75 cents a night. Pull up, Rochester. We'll stop here. Honk the horn. Maybe somebody will come out. They didn't hear it. Try the other one. That ought to bring them. Here comes somebody now. Good evening, folks. What can I do for you? We're on our way to Yosemite. We'd like to stop here. How much are your cabins? $3 a night. $3 a night? Well, your sign there says 75 cents. That stops them every time. Well, that's the worst thing I've ever heard of pooling people like that. I know, but our cabins are worth $3 a night. We've got running water. I don't care if you've got sitting bull. I'll only pay 75 cents. Now, we'll need about four cabins. I'm sorry, but we only had one left, and that was just taken. Just taken? Yes. You'll have to go somewhere else. Well, for heaven's sake, why didn't you tell me in the first place and not waste my time? Quiet! Quiet up there! I'm trying to get some sleep. Oh, so Harris got the last cabin. I bet he didn't pay any $3. You said it, kid. I wouldn't stay here now if you gave me the place for nothing. Drive on, Rochester. Okay, you're the doctor. Imagine Harris getting the last cabin. Boy, what luck. All we need now is a flat tire. Don't tempt them, boys. They're much too willing. Just keep still and drive. I'm hungry, Jack. I'm c-c-co-co-cold. I'm hungry and c-c-co-co-cold. Well, gee whiz, fellas, we'll get to another place pretty soon. Cheer up, everybody. Stop acting like a lot of babies. Come on, let's sing and be happy. Merrily, we roll along. Roll along. Roll along, Mer. What's the matter with you? Come on, sing. Merrily, we roll along. Roll along. Roll along. Merrily, we roll along. Ladies and gentlemen, the story of our trypto-yosemite will be continued next Sunday night. So be sure and tune in for further episodes of our vacation in the snow. Ice skating, bobsledding, skiing, thrills, chills, and spills. You set a drive-on, Rochester. I want to tell you about something entirely new and different in desserts. It's a brand-new Jell-O recipe called Jell-O Orange Vanilla Whip. Two swell desserts blended into a wonderfully enticing new Jell-O treat that combines all the unique goodness of both these delightful Jell-O favorites. And here's how it's done. First, prepare orange Jell-O and drill the Jell-O until cold and syrupy, place in a bowl of cracked ice, and whip with a rotary egg beater until thick and fluffy. Next, gradually add the chilled pudding to the Jell-O, beating constantly until blended. Then mold, and you'll have one of the most exciting, most tender, tempting desserts you ever tasted. A velvety smooth as Bavarian cream, but so inexpensive. A rich, creamy orange creation that combines the juicy, tantalizing tang of bright orange Jell-O with a delicate beauty and flavor of Jell-O vanilla pudding. So get ready, ladies and gentlemen, for a really thrilling surprise, the first time you try that new luxurious dessert of desserts, Jell-O Orange Vanilla Whip. The last number of the 18th program in the current Jell-O series, and now that we showed you what happened on our trip to Yosemite last week, tune in next week to see what happened this week. I mean last week. I mean... He means good night, folks. Yes, that's it. Good night. J-E-L-L-O. This is the National Broadcasting Company.