 Welcome to the art of charm. I'm Jordan Harbinger The art of charm brings together the best coaches in the industry to teach you guys how to crush it and life love and at work If you're new to the show But you want to know more about what we teach here at the art of charm Listen to the art of charm toolbox at the art of charm podcast comm slash toolbox looking forward to meeting all you guys here at AOC Today we're talking with Ty Lopez a modern renaissance man We're going to talk about how to deserve what you want fighting the idea of the four-hour work week and the Offensively simple way to accomplish in a few months what takes everyone else a year We're also going to talk about why it's crucial to go straight to the top when seeking advice How to find the right field for you and why humans are hard-wired to be social last but not least why Competition actually makes us happy and of course the principle of the whole interview the more you learn the more you earn And we're going to wrap with a fashion tip from Aaron Marino. So enjoy this one with Ty Lopez I'm not even sure how to introduce you man You're an aspiring renaissance man most importantly though that sticks out as you read a book a day Which I honestly did not think was possible until I have an intern that does that and it's probably the coolest thing ever But you're the only other person I know besides him that does this I Actually learned it from one of my mentors He read a book before breakfast every morning Alan nation and I remember I was 18 and I was like That's impossible, but you know Peter Drucker the great business guru says most humans have to cope and deal with their disabling ignorance and I Think for most people many things you think are hard aren't so hard I've got this little inner circle where I mentor people and this guy was at my house who lives here in LA And he's reading a book a day and it took him a year to just try it and once he tried it He's like it's not very hard. I think I could read to a day I'm like, yeah Buffett Warren Buffett the billionaire. He reads He reads eight hours a day clears his schedule. So for most people, you know, that book Robert Kiyosaki's Rich dad poor dad. I didn't have a rich day. I didn't have any rich I had two poor dads or or middle class or poor my real dad and my stepdad But I have rich friends and I have poor friends. I'm an investor now that's probably the best way to introduce me and You know the good thing about being an investor you get your hands in a whole bunch of situations and meet a whole bunch of people That have a ton of money one of my buddies is actually here make he makes a million bucks a day And so I have my old friends because I don't leave my old friends just because they're don't have money So I have rich friends and poor dad friends So it's not rich dad poor dad is rich friends poor friends then rich friends read poor friends don't it Warren Buffett at Bob Bill Gates were asked if you could have one superpower. What would it be and? They both agreed but they didn't know they were being interviewed with the same question And they separately said be the fastest reader in the world if you can download the consciousness the intelligence The experience the mistakes of the wisest people throughout history. What do you think that's gonna do to your bank account? Sure, what do you think that's gonna do to the success that you have in life? It's so you know life is simple, but it's not always easy and this is one of those simple principles The sooner and you know is it one book a day is that the threshold? No, but one book a day is better than one every three days is if you can only read that one book a week But better than one book a month. So it's a gradual. It's like lifting weights, man Everybody wants a six pack of the stomach. They're like, oh that'll impress women that'll get me what I want I'm like, what about a six pack of your brain? What makes homo sapiens the dominant force on the planet for the last 150,000 years is the brain the neocortex So you the more you push it without a doubt like Buffett said I went to the Berkshire Hathaway meeting the shareholding meeting 15,000 richest investors really in the world show up there and He Buffett in the trade floor had this he has this new little company teaching kids How to be successful and make money and I bought his little child's book. It's like for eight-year-old Animated, you know cartoons and I open it up in the first chapter is the more you learn the more you earn and I mean all these people and I'm like You got to go back to fifth grade. You got to go back to first grade and learn that It's not just about money either, you know when it comes to women, you know I'm an investor in some of the biggest online dating sites and I've owned nightclubs and I own one of the biggest Modeling networks in the world. So I've been around, you know, beautiful women for a long time some of the most, you know, number one models in the world And it's the same thing you earn that too and at some point, especially if you're a guy Everybody wants what they don't deserve and like Charlie Munger the self-made billionaire said to get what you want You have to deserve what you want the world's not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people But what people want in their dream in there I call chasing the mirage is they want what they don't deserve and I'm trying to tell you and Munger's trying to say you won't get it. You want beautiful women. You want money You want the good life health wealth love and happiness. It's yours to earn Absolutely that makes a lot of sense as well. Of course a lot of people there's a trend going on right now where it's like Hey, you know, you can start this podcast and make a bunch of money passively or you can earn money from home Or you know the four hour work week and we can get to all that stuff No, no hated on Tim. Obviously he works well well over four hours a week It's just that that's a trend where people think I can work really barely at all and still make money And I think it's an unhealthy mindset But backing up the truck a little bit. You were on millionaire matchmaker as well I mean, what the hell how did that happen? Well, that was back at 2007 one of my buddies was a casting director And he came to me and he said because I was on the second episode It was still a pilot, you know, and my my buddy was like, hey Do me a favor. I need I need young people to be on millionaire matchmaker. I got all these old millionaires I need someone young So I said, I don't want to be on tv man And he's like dude do me a favor. Nobody will ever see this show. It's just a pilot I get paid if I cast it So he finally talked me into doing it and so I was like I don't want to do it But my friend was in town. So I said, we'll do it together. So, uh, we yeah I did that back and and it became the number one most watched episode ever So every time that millionaire matchmaker comes on around the world my phone will get like Well, let's see right now. I have a thousand and forty one unread text It's not all from millionaire matchmaker probably 20% is but I get I'll know my episodes on in sweden and norway and so tv is a powerful medium man You know media that's what i'm focused on now. I mean, I live in the hollywood hill So it makes sense that i'm into media but media controls the world Whoever could the way that the human mind works can't separate fact from fiction That's why you jump when you are in a horror movie even though you know, you're safe and secure or that's why coca-cola puts You know copy puts celebrities holding the coke and uh, we subconsciously that's called the associative cognitive bias There's 25 cognitive biases that cause us to decide or make mistakes and the associative bias we go well if that person Is at the olympics and they eat mcdonald's well surely if i eat mcdonald's i'll end up at the olympic So it's a bias and uh tv exerts that bias. I mean any biases my friend was in a mcdonald's commercial and uh, she had to eat like a cheeseburger or burger or something like that and they actually They have a bucket next to you so that you can spit it out instead of swallowing it While you're shooting the commercial and you know, it's not because like oh, it's so disgusting I mean, that's the that's the joke, right? But really it's because you might have to do like 130 takes and that's that's and you have to use a new burger each time so 130 bites of a cheeseburger a big mac Is a hell like that's you know, like eating 14 big macs or something like that which 110 pound girl can't really do Right. Exactly. So they you bite into it and you go. Mmm, and then it's like cut and then you're like And you just Barf it out basically just I mean, it's not you don't swallow it at all. You just Shovel it out of your mouth with your tongue and then start over again after they touch up your lipstick Um, well the best thing the best thing about mcdonald's for b I just Is the story of ray croc if you haven't picked it up. It's a teeny book. It's called uh grinding it out And it's his story, you know, I went from selling paper cups and at 52 He hit he met the mcdonald's brothers part licensed it from them and built, you know, became the wealthiest man in america It's it's I love the title though grinding it out. You know, you're talking about four hour mentality and all this and I got in a little twitter battle the other day with tim ferris kind of popped into my twitter because I was talking with somebody on how I just don't see that philosophy as remotely accurate and So he popped in and we went back and forth on that and my buddy I got a pretty big twitter follower. I follow. I got 160 000 people or something. So this guy sent me yesterday I thought you'd like this a quote from a page With from thomas edison the founder of you know g e He also became one of the wealthiest people has a thousand and I think 50 patents Basically invented electricity and started g e which is at one point the biggest company in the world He says I was wondering what would have happened to be if some fluid talker had converted me to the theory of the eight hour day And convinced me that it was not fair to my fellow workers to put forth my best efforts in the work I'm glad that the eight hour day had never been invented when I was a young man If my life had been made up of eight hour days I don't believe I could have accomplished a great deal The country would not amount to as much as as it has if the young men of 50 years ago I've been afraid that they might earn more than they were paid for so he's going holy crap Thank god the world doesn't work on eight I didn't work eight hours a day and we got this mentality and I you know tim ferris is a very smart guy and I'm not a hater on people's success and he's been successful But i'm all about accuracy. It's not about right or wrong to me But if your goal is the good life, which I just one of my favorite books And I think maybe the best book ever written is uh an essay by Freud called civilization and his discontents And he goes through what what constitutes human happiness And so if your goal is some level film it human happiness Then we know what road you have to go up. It's not up for that much discussion. So four hour work week brings Uh to me It's an inaccurate one if you're trying to get wealth It does not bring fulfillment. I I put it this way and this is what I when I was talking to tim ferris on twitter I said I said look if I came to you and I said hey tim i'm at the girl of my dreams. I'm so exciting amazing girl Uh, you got congratulations. We're getting married. Oh awesome. And I said oh ps by the way I figured out a way to only spend four hours a week with her. That's the real exciting thing Your response would be any sane person's response would be like Ty, are you sure you want to marry somebody that your main goal is not spending time with her? Why not marry someone where time becomes Uh a non-issue where you want time? We all know when you're with the right person or doing the right thing the famous University of chicago guy. He has a super long last name. He talks about he calls it flow Optimal yeah, me holly chick sent me holly, right? Yes. Yeah, I was just talking to jonathan height I'm pretty good friends with a lot of the top I mean i'm the biggest book club in the world. I'm an investor I get access to pretty interesting people and I was taught I've talked to jonathan height a few times and He's kind of the number one living guy him martin seligman and david bus Are pretty much the number one experts on human happiness and uh, you know, what makes you happy is nothing remotely similar to anything resembling a four-hour work week What makes you happy is very simple uh the good life Obtaining some uh levels of the good life, which are physical health now me and jonathan height a little bit You know, he's the university of new york. He's done three ted talks, but we don't completely see eye to eye on the issue of health He thinks physical health is less important and in a sense. He's probably right to happiness There's people who are happy that are diabetic and massively overweight But I would argue that one all day and there's good science, but but what we do agree on is What freud said a long time ago when he's asked what makes you happy. It's basically in my german sucks. It's you know Shafa and liba. It's love and work. So you align those two things Okay, and so you're gonna get the good life. You gotta be good on those you have to get it So there's a whole mentality here at entrepreneurs. I do big parties at my house. I Some I actually almost do the biggest one according to the la pd I basically do the biggest parties in hollywood hills and I did one last thursday or a couple thursdays got about five six hundred people end up coming and I got all these top entrepreneurs Uh, and then I got all these people that are more pursuing this new thought of entrepreneurialism And I see the difference right all the guys that are old school are rich And all the people trying to do lifestyle hacking in 80 20 pareto optimization. I'm like, I just told this It's a tip first too. I said Tim if I read your book And bob my neighbor reads the book we both outsource we both do 80 20 pareto fishes blah blah blah Then we're even those efficiencies negate each other. We both are doing them Then it becomes raw hours in and so elon musk, you know Cameron Diaz I said my neighbor that they were dating or rumored to be dating I got invited to this little thing with elon musk and I heard him talk and he said, you know If you work 100 hours when everyone else works 40 You accomplish in three and four months what takes people a year and if you do that long enough Guess what happens? Yeah, you're 10 years ahead of everybody. Exactly man. Well, look, I also here's a I Develop this thing that a lot of people are interested in it's this 67 steps. So I took since I was 16. I've been trying to I've always been fascinated by greatness Even from a little kid. I remember five six years old. And so I've been compiling Some of it is just quotes books that I've read Much of it. I've been to 51 countries read. I don't know 3000 4000 books Uh, I've compiled over these years quotes, you know, they're on my evernote They're on no cards. They're in my brain and they're from I've had five mentors Three multimillionaire and two at the billionaire level and I've 12 business partners now in different vent What I do now by the way for a living I go out try to find the best people in any industry And I cut a deal 50 50 with them. So I I find people a hell of a lot smarter than me Uh, I was just I did a ted talk and I was in europe and I went and I and I bought a company in eastern europe Put the number one guy there So it's a compilation these 67 steps of everything I've learned internally But more importantly what I've learned from people much smarter than me and I've distilled them down It's literally like 500 frameworks and principles and I put it into 67 and one of these 67 Is what I call the one tenth rule Meaning whoever you copy and surround yourself with and idolize at best you're going to do a tenth Last week I was with my buddy edon ravine and he's the top, um Trainer for all the pro basketball players. So lebron james kevin durant all of these guys and This principle he agrees with so let's say I want to learn to play basketball Most people copy from their friend who's pretty good at basketball right coach Who's pretty good? Yeah, if I copy my friend I'm never going to be as good at his style as he is But if I copy michael jordan, even if i'm one tenth of michael jordan, right i'm pretty damn good You're pro. Yeah, you're pro level athlete. So look at this entrepreneurial lifestyle or look at you know I know you're talking a lot about relationships and women People are cost the blind leading the blind if you copy somebody who figured out how to make one million dollars at best You're gonna make a hundred g's. So I ask people I have no problem with you reading modern books, whether it's you know lean startup or Or jim collins or four hour week work week. No problem, but i'm gonna ask you this Before you read that because first thing's first Did you read sam walton's book which is five dollars on amazon? It's a paperback It's called made in america the man made 160 billion dollars for himself and bill I'll take a tenth of that. Yeah, exactly. And when it comes to every avenue of life, you go straight to the top So part of the thing there's so much noise in life people aren't going straight to the top go to the top And you'll be surprised what happens with osmosis amazing and that makes a lot of sense I think it there's definitely ways to make yourself more efficient So you have more time to do what your core competencies are But I think a lot of people fail at realizing that and they instead look for The way to use this as a shortcut to do less work so that they can go Oh, good. I don't have to work anymore I can do things that I actually enjoy like watching Netflix or whatever and it's There's people that use these to become more effective and there's people that use these to avoid doing work because they hate it And the that ignores the larger problem Which is if you're doing something that you don't like then you're in the wrong field Like bud williams says he says If you have to go on vacation from what you're doing never come back Or what pablo piccasso said you must avoid the dichotomy the dichotomy is doing what you don't like in order to Make cash to do what you do like he said do not do that the great art Maybe the greatest artist of all time made 51 000 pieces of art. Who would you rather be? Somebody who figures out how to automate some phantom mirage business, which will never hold But let's say you could hold it and make 10 grand a month on autopilot And then what do you do salsa dance across argentina and you know do karate in china? Maybe that's exciting for some people, but we already know under a brain scanner You're experiencing extremely low levels dopamine and testosterone the receptors aren't there. You're not that happy So why pursue the mirage? You're not happy A martin seligman the university of pennsylvania, you know genius He put published work on learn helplessness which is important into this conversation But also on authentic happiness and he already laid it out the science is in three levels of happiness You have hedonic pleasure where you're just pursuing whatever laying on a beach and Barbados You've got authentic uh life and the meaningful life and the higher you go up of those three The more you want to be that person you want to tap dance through life, man It's not always getting what you Be careful my mentor one of my mentors joel salatin. He's pretty famous guy now But he wasn't as famous when I started mentoring me He said, you know The worst thing in life is getting good at the wrong thing and so many people are spending their life chasing the mirage Getting good at something that at the end of the day if they were independently wealthy They wouldn't be doing do what you would do if you're independently wealthy now You may have to do a few twists and turns to get there But you know and one of them I know your shows because I'm a business guy But I'm also super in this, you know a lot of people are like, hey, you're the most social person ever And when it comes to social Everything I'm talking about is the same if you want to be good socially if you want to be good I'm assuming by the way and I'll jump in What's that's a big part of what you talk about right art charm women social life Right it has much more to do with the mindsets that you have as a man and much less to do with women and girls getting chicks That's that's that's pretty unimportant in the scheme of things right but but you know, I mean health I say the good life you have the four pillars of life. So you have health physically You have wealth which is the acquisition of scarce resources in the modern world We define that as cash in general and then the third thing is social which is Which is friends family and romance romance for sure is a massive part of us as humans and species It will be important your ability to attract a high quality Person into your life to devote some level of their attention to you It I mean that's the perpetuation of the species. So that is that is what determines your legacy That's why it's so important to not get it wrong And that's why we have the show is because most guys will spend a ton of time working on their career So that at the end of the day they can make money and then eventually Fathers and children and then they spend 15 minutes on the other side of the equation where they get hooked up with a girl from Frickin tinder and they're like, uh, she's pretty cute and then dot dot dot suddenly you're in a relationship It makes no sense. We don't focus on that other part That's so important so that we spend a lot of time here on the show Teaching guys how to screen in the right type of people for them as well as deserving what they're what they want Like we discussed earlier in the show. Well, I you know, I like I said, I uh For release, I don't know 10 15 years. I've been in the social business whether I own some of the biggest night clubs I've invested in some of the biggest model agencies in and uh And now I own some of the largest online dating sites at my investment group And I just did the key. I've done for the last seven years the keynote speech at the Online dating and matchmaking company. So I've been around, you know, Helen Fisher all this kind of stuff and You know, my life has been one big experiment. I live with the Amish for two and a half years without electricity Yeah, I want to know about that anybody How did you live with Amish people where and when for My early 20 because I was saying I'm all about experimentation One of the things that makes humans happier is some level of experimentation And I consider mistakes different than experimentation. I actually that's a big thing in my 67 steps I'm like, look smart people are like Edison Tons of experiments, but then when they read the signs, they move on they move through the seven step scientific method, you know Ask a question Hypothesis test it observe it analyze it submit it to other smart people rinse and repeat and most people like you said with tinder It's like, okay. I met a girl Right. So your question was how do I find a girl your hypothesis is tinder You then test it, but people forget the final steps You've got to observe the girl and the relationship you have and after you observe you should analyze it means I call it, you know, blaze the Pascal one of the greatest thinkers of all time He said all advanced problems stem from his inability to sit in a room, you know Be alone and you go into a room and you think how's this relationship with his girl or whatever when I was at the Amish does this make sense for my life deep thought I caught chests like thinking And then you go from there into submit it to other smart people run it by The there's a 5000 year old proverb says make war with a multitude of counselors So it's like the president of the United States has his cabinet, right? Secretary of defense and transit and uh and energy and these are the top people They're not just random buddies. They're the best of the best So if these people on tinder or at my point when I was young and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do I ran it through that framework Probably didn't realize what I was doing But the Amish made sense at that time and I spent I wanted to see what life was like non materialistic. So, you know, I've lived I grew up with no money. I mean, I live in a mobile home when I was a teenager and um in you know, North Carolina for I was born in california, but I I bounced I tried different things and I tried the Amish is a tremendous experience One of the great experience I learned a lot about what makes humans happy. I learned a lot about Materialism not being attached. I mean people, you know, I've done the Ferrari Maserati Beverly Hills mansion Hollywood Hills thing And I'm not attached to it. There's upsides and downsides of both, but What I learned at the Amish Is that humans Are social and you need to be part of something bigger than yourself and this good book recently came out by Lieberman the harvard professor About about it's called social actually and we now know the hard wiring of your brain Is it's natural state. It will revert always to social thoughts So it'll revert and the Amish build their lives not as individuals, but as a group Trying to accomplish something and one of the things in the modern world you have evolutionary mismatch We're designed for example robin dunbar the anthropologist from I think oxford. He was famous for saying Humans are evolved to live in groups of 150 our brain D our dna and the wiring of our brain hasn't changed much Sure 50 000 bc. That's why that's why you should only have 150 facebook friends, right ty Well, you should you should probably make a separate facebook for your 150 you paid I actually use an excel spreadsheet that I put 150 My 150 most important people and I check it a couple times a month to make sure I'm not doing what's called the miss waiting bias like talking to the wrong people more than the right people You know, you got to double down on the good people And when it comes socially, I mean it's absolutely vital. It's funny I'm here, you know, in hollywood and people come in and out and I take people out from around the world And when it comes to women Uh I don't know what's up with dudes. I I think well, I mean I have my theories I think it's the amygdala, you know that part of your brain That's heavy on fear most one fear experience at any point in your life What they now know is that it's you cannot remove the fear you get bit by a dog when you're five You you'll jump at 50. There's only one way that you can get rid of exposure therapy Yeah, well, I call it mpfc. So fear annihilation There's a another part of your brain right behind your eyes called the median prefrontal cortex that part of your brain Can actually generate If you fall off the horse and get back on the fear of falling off there in the amygdala But if you get back on enough you can potentially annihilate these things But I mean when it comes to women, let me just say The most advanced social skills you will ever need would become would be predicted to be with the opposite sex and reproduction There's something called selective proceptivity Selective proceptivity is all Species basic every mammal and basically every species. There's not a species on the planet Where women will mate indiscriminately with men. So if you have, you know, you have an asymmetrical thing Guys will mate with anything women have or Much less picky women have high levels speak for yourself. Yeah Well, you have selected. So then what does that what do you predict from that outcome? Well, you predict a world where men are constantly engaged in, you know A hunt Well, not just a hunt it is not that see that is true But it would only be true that it's a true hunt if you were the only person in the jungle That's true. What it's more is it is and there's you know, I won't use too many scientific words, but in plain English You're competing against other men Uh in that is why All these concepts whether they're before our work week or entrepreneurialism come into play you have to be able to compete Within your gender and you have to be good Well, that's exactly true and not only that but you've got to be good in other areas A lot of guys think oh, I'm just going to get really fit And dot dot dot get girls or I'm just going to be really smooth dot dot dot get girls No, you have to have everything else together because you're not just trying to capture her attention And one she's you know, high quality women are smart enough to filter through that crap too But two you're competing with other men who do have their stuff together in other areas You're consistently competing for that whether you realize it or not if you disagree with that It just means you're not in on the on the you didn't get the memo Hey guys, I want to take a quick break for a second here You've heard me talk a lot about taking you to the next level in life at work and in your relationships And you've probably also thought to yourself Yeah, I want to my game. I want to become a better man a better boyfriend or husband and a better person And my guess is that you've been thinking about this for a long time. Am I right? Well, I'm here to tell you this Stop thinking your chance is now. Do you really need more time more information and more plans for the future? Or do you want to become that guy today? Because the truth is this you can be the guy who sits around and thinks about becoming better And there's plenty of those guys out there or you can be the guy who decides that today is the day You're gonna do something amazing and I want that for you Why because you've already got what it takes the potential is there even if you don't know it yet Join me and thousands of other guys who've taken action in their lives at the art of charm Call or email us and we'll see if the art of charm can help you with your personal Relationship and business challenges. All right back to the show Well, one of the things, you know, so we own I own these sites and dating sites and we've got millions of customers Okay, so I've I've got more research than any university on the planet We've had about 185 million messages sent back and forth So I've seen it not only in my personal life anecdotally, but also hardcore numbers and We we developed an actual system I I get asked all the time people are like, you know, I did a party at this last thursday one I probably had 400 of the most beautiful girls in la and 100 guys and the guys are always like Tyre what's the what is it? So I one day about a couple years ago. I laid out what I think the What the secret to this thing of people call women or whatever and When it comes to that specifically what I define and the interesting thing by the way before I say it I gave this talk I gave keynote in las vegas in january and dr. David bus was there So he's the number one evolutionary side college. I mean, he's the preeminent guy Everything you see people talking about evolutionary psychology, whether it's the books berm wars and helen fisher They're all pretty much underneath bus is like the michael jordan of the world. So we've become really good friends We're actually Co-authoring a paper with him all his textbooks are in harvard and all this and he actually came to me And he said because I had two like ford model girls with me So we he heard my speech and my talk where I laid out what I think how I think this thing called Attraction works and he came to me at the end and he's like I agree with all of it except one point So he had one thing to add that was pretty cool And we become friends and he said look I want to do a paper on the most beautiful women in the world And they're harder to get access to so let's co-author So we're working on a paper of is the experience of the most beautiful women in the world I dated a girl that's listed. She's a guest model one of the ones you see on the guest store like so He's like our is their experience different and my hypothesis. It's tremendously different but You know because I once dated this girl years ago and I remember she said to me. She's a brazilian model here It was actually a nightmare to date her because literally every single day There would be cars driving home after her wherever she went I mean like pro baseball player. It wasn't like regular dudes They would go and I remember I was talking to her and she said something one day. She said, you know what time Uh, I heard some girl talking about how guys always try to have one night stands with them and she was from brazil so there's a little language barrier and she is like What do they mean by one night stands and I'm like, well, you know They're trying to like sleep with you and never talked to you again And she's like you just saw this blank stare because her experience is men even the biggest player in the world Was like I got a lot of risk. No, he was chivalrous He'd take her on a date and you know take her out and Not even try to hold her hand. Just like everything you could do to signal I want long term So at the end of the day every rule that you think there is if you go up the scale and go up the notch There's a whole different reality I just finished even Hawkins book theory of everything and the level of realities like Plato says, you know Most of us are in the cave. We're seeing shadows, but we think it's real And you got to step out of the cave into the light and so I laid out these two I think there's 12 ways That when every woman on the planet sees you she her brain is a complex algorithm I don't care if you think she's a ditzy dumb blonde The she hears the whispers of 10,000 generations in her brain of her mother grandmother great-great-grandmother and They're probably smart in terms of selection or you wouldn't be here on the planet score I think there's 12 Heuristical patterns that they look through and when it comes to like being in shape that is one of them So women are doing and different women of course weight weight each factor slightly different But what you really want to do is be strong I find that women will give you a pass on two or three of the 12 But that's about it. If you want the best women, you must At least master about nine of these and so, you know, we laid all this out. It's pretty fascinating if you follow If you follow this, I've taken dudes that are suck with women and gotten them You know, they're just like mine 40 year old virgins are like, holy crap Let's take a quick time out for a sec Some people think the art of charm live training programs are just about picking up girls And honestly, there's some of that one week with us and you'll be rocking out in that department I promise but as a guy I know how important it is to be awesome and well-rounded and not just awesome with girls You got to be awesome at work awesome at home and awesome with your friends and family guys We need to step it up everywhere And that's why we call our company the art of charm that special something that gets you results wherever you go And trust me the results are real Every day I get new emails and calls from the guys who've decided to take our live training programs And what I hear is simply amazing just weeks after graduating they lined up promotion They form a new wolf pack and they start a new business or find a partner They have a new life and it's not an accident Call or email us and we'll see what the art of charm live training programs can do for you Now back to the good stuff Give us some give us some of the the practical tips that guys can take with them Uh towards the end here because you've got a law of 33 percent stoke versus epicurean Of course, we already talked about reading a book a day Give us a dish on something that guys can pull the trigger on well, okay, so Whether let's just say successful general whether you want it with money or women or your body physically My dad was one of the top bodybuilders. So it was interesting to grow up with my dad He was mr. Junior usa mr. Canada and all this and I kind of put some of the stuff And I wasn't close with my dad, but I saw a few things and it's funny They line up with the 67 steps. I got a friend that I think is the best guy in the world with women I kind of put all his stuff into 67 steps. So practical stuff, you know When I did my TED talk, I said this the law 33 percent if you follow this you're on your path Quickly, so you spend 33 percent of your time with people below you Those are people that make you feel good about yourself your self-esteem goes up Plus you can mentor them and help them Then you need 33 percent of people who are on your level that 33 percent Is like Mahatma Gandhi said in his autobiography says, you know on your rise to the top You will be you will feel lonely. So you need people on your level your peers They become your friends. Most of us do that Okay in a day you got 16 hours in a day We spend most of our time with people below us or on our level But this last one if you could spend 33 percent of your time with people That are 10 20 years ahead of you This is where you get the burn. This is like your lifting weights. You there's no growth of muscles without some burn You have to push yourself. These are people you feel uncomfortable around These are people who are speaking a language that you don't even understand the words They're doing things where you feel like you're insecure. They're laughing at you Right, hopefully they're not doing it mean spirited, but they chuckle when you come around with your You know, they've got a ripped six pack and you're coming around with your two pack You uh, you're stumbling and mumbling when it's around girls and they're, you know, just these Casanovas When it comes to money You're struggling to figure out how to get out out of scarcity mode and they're already in wealth and they're like What the hell is wrong with your level of reality? Like, where are you man? You if you can get around that and most people can't, you know, like we said stoic versus epicurean The stoics were people the greek philosophers who said toughen up They said they were them the ancient investors. They said you have to Forgo pleasant present pleasure in order To get some greater future benefit and there was the epicureans the opposite school of thought which is yolo You only live once get what you want now be a consumer and i'm telling you what the world doesn't need is 50 000 More people running after louis beton kim kardashian parasol and lifestyle what we need is 300 spartans You give me 300 spartans I'll change the world will change the world and to get that if you read about the spartan where there was a time when the spartans They would randomly pick someone out of the group Time to a post and whip them and half the time the guy died whipped them to death for no reason But the ones who made it through Just imagine life is like war and you're in a trench Who do you want jumping in the trench with you a guy with the scars on his back who made it through the Whipping that most people died from or you want you know the pussy dude who who's figured out how to you know Do his pedicures and sit on the beach and salsa dance across argentina. You pick you pick What do you have against salsa dancing time? Actually, dude, I became I was it's funny because I people think about that tango and all that from this lifestyle engineering And when I was in my 20s, I became a professional salsa dancer, so I can't make fun of it too much I can make fun of myself, right? I'm allowed to absolutely and there's nothing wrong with that It's the mentality if you want a salsa dancer get a pedicure in and of itself There's nothing but where a place are you coming from what reality are you coming from you got to step out of the cave And when you do here's the good news Everything that people innately want becomes yours. You know, like I said, I got my buddy here I actually have two friends that I've been that are staying with me and one of them Uh, he works for me and and he's uh, I've kind of I put people through this white to black belt system I got this like inner circle academy thing and so he's been with me for a long time I built I originally built it to help my Employees friends, you know for employees. I wanted to train CEOs because I buy company I just bought two companies last month. It's I can't find enough good talent So I was like, fuck it. I'll train it straight. So I train him, but he's still, you know, in the white and black belt He's still like yellow or blue belt. And so his reality. It's like, how can I make $5,000 a month? And literally my buddy just rolled in last night the million dollar a day He's making a million bucks a day and it's like it's not an IQ thing It's a reality thing and it's this diss I'll tell you this and I just uh did on my podcast I got a big response from this martin southern and talks about because you're talking about practical tips So first practical tip is this 33% the next one is um Learned you must eliminate the learned helplessness and if you put a monkey in a cage And the zookeeper opens the gate and brings a paleo slop in at 8 in the morning noon and 6 o'clock What we know about that monkey is a the monkey is learning to be helpless Be because it's learning to be helpless. It does it's not happy if you study under brain scanner that monkey's brain Low levels of dopamine all those complex reactions that make you happy Now that's interesting. So why why is that happening? Why is the unhappiness is a result of helplessness Because the monkey's meant to be in the jungle man. It's meant to be the king of the jungle It's meant to try now being out in the jungle sometimes you die Earlier than if you're in the zoo, but you know what dying young in the jungle is better than dying old Right somebody now that's epicurian right? Yolo. You thought drake invented it, but it was epicurious Exactly And then what's fascinating is even when you take the monkey out of the cage and you stick it a wild And a domestic animal you stick it out in the jungle. Guess what happens the fruits all around it It could hunt in the jungle, but it's learned and had his brain rewired so strongly that guess what? It sits there and starts to death now the modern world most of us think of how you grew up How'd you get educated you went to first grade second grade? Did they tell you just the end goal and say there's the library you figure out? No, no, no, they spoon fade you like you the zoo that you are the monkey in the cage the teacher comes and goes Okay, we're gonna learn about american history first. We all read chapter one together chapter two You were four speed education. So i'm gonna tell you this if you're listening to this the odds are and this Happen this is true for me and it's true for you. I'm not pointing fingers I'm right here having been through that same educational system You have been taught that to learn and to grow Somebody's gonna come to you and I'll tell you this There's never gonna be a day when I check my facebook and bill gates is gonna have dropped me a little email and said hey Ty read your blog you're such a fascinating guy I'm on my jet down here to hollywood to hang out with you that'll never happen That might have happened to me in first grade where knowledge was for spoon fed to me You want to learn from bill gates? You show up I've been mentored and been able to become friends with some of the top billionaires in the world You pursue it That's what that's not you go out in the jungle you hunt for yourself when it comes to you know Learn helplessness with women like you said most guys are like ah tinder's gonna be my thing I'm just gonna i'm just the monkey in the cage and if tinder brings me the girl Whatever it brings me i'm just gonna take no you're the king of the jungle and i'm bringing you out in the jungle That's the new realm of reality you need to be be in the real world my friend the real world is one Where their competition is stiff? But the good news is if you compete you will become happier you are the product of men who competed and won You can win you can win But if you won't aren't then you're just a cog in this machine and the car you never like the old saying goes When you're in a room and you don't know who the sucker is you're the sucker You never want to be the sucker you never want to be the cog So that second thing is literally Mentally making a shift snapping your fingers and going i'm in the jungle in the modern world I just got an i get hundreds of emails almost a day from people around the world I got one black couple weeks ago. This person said hey, I've started this Architecture company. I'm only making about 45 grand a year. I feel like I plateaued I'm reaching out to you when you help me. He's out in the jungle saying I need mentors help me Then he p.s. Is it at the end? Oh, by the way, I just turned 15 See that's the jungle the jungle is awesome now You got never before have people been able to accumulate wealth at the way they have Without being born into it now you can the sumly kid 15 years old 30 million bucks that uh Grubosh chart all a guy make a couple hundred million dollars before he's he's not old enough to sign the contracts I don't care if you're young or old ray crock was 52 when he started Uh, uh, colonel sanders was I think 65 or 66 I don't care where you are stop measuring your life Backwards by the age from when you are born. That's the old school way like steven hawkins says time Is measured in three ways thermodynamic cosmological and uh and psychological and all of them move forward So the way you should be measuring your life is not how many years since I came out of my mom belly You should be measuring yourself Forward how many years do I have left and since you don't know how many years you have left? You have to act as if today is the day and then you don't want to be too hasty Because the odds are you'll live for a while, but you got to do like the great Greatest of all basketball coaches in college john wood and ucla coach said be quick But not in a hurry or Joel salton used to tell me make haste slowly So if you're listening to this today's the day you stop the mentality of i'm gonna be forced it what you want You go out and get and i'll tell you this When I walk in a room with that mentality And another guy Is in a state of learned helplessness? Which one do you think the most beautiful girls and the women want to be around? I'll tell you what's attractive to women people call it alpha this it's not about alpha I know shy guys. Yeah, that's not a real thing. Anyway, it's just something made up by marketers to sell Supplements. Well, it's like cocky funny. You know that whole thing That's not true the man I mean honestly if you want to study who was the best with women Casanova still remembered three four hundred years later. He said you have to play the chameleon But I will tell you the underlying energy that's attractive to women is somebody who Is not in the cage It's it's a win-win for you you get out of the cage or help your wealth You're you're happier and socially people pick it up on it So that's the third that you know, that's the other thing I would say the last thing That you have to do and it's related to the law 32 percent. You got to have a mentor man You have to it's like Charlie longer says I don't believe Uh, I believe in mastering the discipline of learning from other people I don't believe that you can sit around and think it all up yourself Nobody's that smart. Nobody's that smart to figure out women on their own So you got to listen to stuff like, you know art of charm You have to make the and I tell people so this is part of this final thing I call it the 32 000 amazon educational budget last year. I looked through my I had my account I was like pull how much I spent on amazon, you know, most of it some of its Supplies most of its books and stuff. I spent 32 grand You got to spend 33 of your disposable income and your disposable time. You need a kindle, bro Forget that. I like the book scattered, man I'm old school But my last thing to you is spend your damn money spend your time Not as a consumer who's a sucker buy average american has a 33 000 car. Why why the average american makes 48 grand They spend 33 Don't buy a car Jog a ride a bike you'll be in shape Then double down on all the money That you save like jack welch when he took over g. He grew it to the biggest company in the world Maybe the greatest CEO of our time. He took all the companies that weren't that he couldn't be number one or number two in He closed them down took the money doubled down on what he can do So double down on your brain Double down on surrounding listened to more hours of podcasts art of charm buy more books Michael Jordan is a fascinating guy because he was the cockiest of almost all basketball players in history of all athletes Yet he was a dichotomy and the other side of him was he had such high levels of humility That every coach whoever coached him said there was no one who listened and was more teachable and I tell people you better learn Faster You better you don't want to be like steve job said I didn't want to be the richest man in the graveyard If you think you will learn by going internally and learn through mistakes You will run out of years in your life So sam walton became the richest man in america. I think by that time he was the richest man in the world He took a trip to south polo brazil He was down there the host family got a phone call and they said That that call said uh Come pick him up and bail him out of her jail. He's in jail. Of course. They rushed down there 60 year old billionaire in brazilian jail is a Not a good thing They show up. They say to the police. They say hey Uh, why'd you arrest this guy and they said well, we thought he was insane We found a man old man crawling around on the floor as a different department stores Isles in uh in to polo and so they turned to sam walton. They said what were you doing? and he said I was just trying I was measuring with a tape measure how wide the floors were Because I was trying to see if these brazilians knew something that I didn't know That humility to get on your hands and knees and crawl around on the floor Is the humility you will need to get the good life and most people even though they listen and fill up with knowledge They're not like michael geord. I'm unconcerned with the level of cockiness you have externally I'm a relatively cocky person external But internal the reason I read a book a day is because I go. I don't know the second you get out of that state Man, the world of it opens up to you learn from the best. They're right there. They're there in books They're there on youtube. They're there in audio. They are there all around you. They're even there in person find those people Learn more read a hell of a lot more. Don't ever listen to people that say the answers are all within They're a little bit of it, but most of it's outward. He didn't learn english Inwardly he didn't sit in a room and come out speaking fluent english It came externally and everything you want will come from that same attitude But it will start and the stumbling bot for most people is deep down. They go I still know you must come to a place where you're like michael geord and you're like he actually said if dean smith My unc coach or phil jackson said to me Hey That seems wrong. He said geord said even if I thought they were incorrect I still listened you got to get to that place because what is correct and true for you Will make you feel uncomfortable and it will feel incorrect So if you only go by your gut, you're not gonna get there So I hope that's been helpful for your group. Absolutely, man. Thank you so much All right. Hope you guys enjoyed that show deserving what you want and how to get there is a key concept and becoming that Modern renaissance man is a great step on the way there. I hope you guys enjoyed that It does seem to come down to working hours and productivity at the end of the day But of course you can always go straight to the top get some great advice Get some great mentorship and get an edge on everybody else get out of the cage guys Now check out this fashion tip with erin marino Due to popular demand. We got fashion tips from my man erin marino from i am alpha m.com He's gonna be dropping some knowledge on us to learn how to dress our best All right, I haven't seen this for a long time, especially in california But I know around other parts of the country slash world Baggy pants are still in or maybe they're back. I don't know look here. Here's the deal baggy pants make you Look shorter. They make you look heavier. They make you look less attractive than you are You know and and it's not that guys are seeking out a baggy pant It's just that they're putting it on it fits in the waist They're not paying attention to the leg dimension the the rise of the pant and they're like whatever fits in the waist It's not too long. I'm good Well, the reality is is that a lot of pants if they are cut standard, they're gonna be big. They're gonna be baggy I always recommend for guys size down try the smaller size You know, if it's too too tight and you feel like you know, you're you're smuggling You know grapefruits in the fries just it's way too Smuggling grapefruits. We should be so lucky, right? You know, if it's just too tight then okay go up But you want to make sure that you're looking for a pant that is that is fitted and once again fitted does not mean tight It simply means you're cutting out the extra fabric Excellent. Yeah, because it doesn't have to be super like skinny jeans ridiculous But a lot of guys wear these different sizes up Especially if they lose weight which props by the way, but they'll do something where they're like Oh, you know, I'll just get a size up so that they're comfortable And then they do that thing where they cinch it tight with a belt and you can kind of see where it's like Really sucking in at the waistline and then baggy down below and it looks really awkward Now they just totally negated all the hard work that they put in to loosen that weight You know, it's you know, they might look great out of their clothes But when you're wearing clothes that are way too big oversized, it's just throwing everything off wear clothes that fit always For more from erin marino search for alpha m on youtube or go to iamalpha m.com Solid show as usual if I do say so myself show feedback and guest suggestions We rely on you guys to help keep our finger on the pulse So if you know someone who's a good fit for the show, let us know at jordan h at the art of charm dot com Boot camp details. That's our live training at the art of charm dot com And that's also where you can find links to us on twitter facebook and other social media If you're listening to this, but you're not subscribed in itunes or stitcher than that needs to change Getting our shows delivered free to your phone or computer is the best way to make sure you don't miss anything You can do that by going to itunes and searching for the art of charm podcast Or by going to the art of charm dot com slash itunes and clicking subscribe. That's it You guys can also help us if you subscribe in itunes or stitcher Give us a five star rating and write something nice. We'll love you forever Just go to itunes.com slash the art of charm and it'll take you right there When you write us a review it not only makes us feel proud But it helps keep us in the ranks so that other people who can use this information And find the show more easily and get the credible advice that they need It's also the best way to support the show other than purchasing training from us So tell your friends because the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to someone else either in person Or shared on the web to have a great week go out there and get social and leave everything better than you found it