 The floor may not be in your old box. So, SML Movie, The Black Couch. This is something that I have wanted to talk about for quite a while. I just want to share with you guys this issue, because I thought about it a month ago, and I want to share this issue, so you guys won't have to stumble upon this Super Mario Logan movie either. So, it was about a month ago as I said. I was at a house with my friend named Gordon. While I joined the SML fan base in 2018, Gordon has been a fan since 2012, which was just three years before the end of the Golden Age. Gordon told me that he had a friend, and that his friend was an archivist at heart. Gordon was an old fan who also really liked Jeffy, so he managed to stay throughout the dark times of Super Mario Logan. Gordon's friend, named George, supposedly downloaded a copy of a Lost SML video, and let us have it. Gordon originally had a YouTube channel, where he gave people SML videos to watch before they were made fully public. He pirated the video files, so people could watch the videos earlier. We received a copy of a Lost SML video from George, after Gordon's YouTube channel got terminated for pirating said videos. This video was supposed to be a copy of the original full-length Super Mario Logan movie. For those of you who don't know about the Super Mario Logan movie drama, Logan had been promising to release an official Super Mario Logan movie for over a year, in which he had constantly deleted it up, until the point where it was permanently cancelled. When August of 2018 rolled around, there was no point in waiting. We had just received the copy of the movie, and were eager to watch it. We would be the first to witness the official Super Mario Logan movie. Gordon and I had a sleepover at his house, and decided to watch the video file for the first time. However when we saw it, it wasn't the official full-length SML movie. It was an SML video titled, The Black Couch. Gordon and I were both really confused. We expected to watch a copy of the official full-length Super Mario Logan movie early, but instead, we got a regular SML video, that was approximately 22 minutes and 17 seconds long, titled, The Black Couch. The file had its own custom thumbnail, which I can only guess was the thumbnail of what was originally the video on YouTube. But it wasn't like a thumbnail you'd expect to see. The usually bold text was rather thin and dreary looking, the background was a dark field, and the only other thing on the thumbnail was Mario. But this was no ordinary Mario. All of the color on the thumbnail was removed, even Mario. Mario had no eyes, which were replaced with bleeding holes in his skull. You could see his ribs through his shirt, and his arms were held down in a way that made him look depressed. Gordon didn't want to watch, but I convinced him that we had to because for all we know, it could just be a troll, or it could be the actual movie for all we know, so we clicked on the video file, and began watching. The video started off with Mario and Jeffy on the iconic red couch, like most modern SML videos. Like most videos, it began with the two yelling at each other. Jeffy makes a somewhat valid point, and Mario shoots it down anyway. Then Jeffy gets mad, pulls a catapult from the garage, and proceeds to shoot the couch into the air with the catapult. The couch then landed in the ocean nearby. Of course, Mario then starts to get mad at Jeffy even more. Jeffy then starts swearing. At this point, we were both wondering what anything in this episode had to do with the title and thumbnail, but then again, we were both 1 minute and 20 seconds in, so now that I think about it, we shouldn't expect much so far. In the next scene, we see Mario at the furniture store looking for a new couch, since the old one is practically done. A guy working at the store says there's a perfect couch for the family that's Mario's size. We then take him into the back where we see a black sectional sofa that can fit everyone and pretty much everyone else. We then get a scene with every SML character you can imagine sitting on the couch. Mario, Rosalina, Jeffy, Shrek, Woody, Toad, Joseph, Cody, Bowser Jr., Chef Pee Pee, all of them are sitting on the couch. Mario and Rosalina congratulate Jeffy, considering that without him, they wouldn't have gotten such an awesome new couch. You can tell that when Bowser Jr. gets the urge to get up and make tacos at 4am, this is when things are going to get weird. This is weird but I guessed that this was meant to be funny, so I took it as a joke. Bowser Jr. goes into Mario's room and asks him if he can eat tacos at 4am. Mario tells Bowser Jr. that they don't even have tacos, and that Bowser Jr. shouldn't even be in the scene because they're both played by Logan, which I took as a joke on how Logan's the camera man, and he voices both Mario and Bowser Jr. I believe another person is holding the camera, possibly Lance, Booby, or God knows who, while Logan voices the two characters at one scene. So, Bowser Jr. decides to go into the kitchen and make tacos anyway. While he's making them, he gets dizzy and fades out of nowhere. We get 30 seconds of a blurry camera zooming in on Jr., while a high-pitched tone plays. Then silence for a solid 10 seconds. Jr. wakes up, turns his head, and we see something me and Gordon could never unsee. It was a dead woman, possibly a puppet, lying right in front of him. Her face was pale, her eyes and mouth were wide open, and blood was easing out of her almost toothless mouth. I had no words or thoughts. I felt like I had gone lightheaded from fear watching this video. The camera only focused on the woman for a few seconds, before Jr. gets scared and runs to his room. That was when he saw the woman, awoke from the dead, standing in front of his door, and slowly walked towards him. Jr. runs to the couch, and sees the shadow of the zombified woman slowly approaching from the hallway. He then tries to bury himself in between the couch cushions in an attempt to make it, until the morning. But then, he gets pulled in by something. Then we hear a crunch as he's flailing around in the couch cushions, as his muffled screams soon fade. That is the last time we see Jr. in this episode, alive. We then get the next scene which takes place the morning after Jr.'s death. It's a scene of a picture hanging on a telephone pole. It was a picture of Bowser Jr., with text in all capitals saying, missing. This wasn't settling, considering that we, the audience, both knew and didn't know what happened to him. Mario, Black Yoshi, and even Sheila, Bowser's wife who conveniently made a comeback in this video, go to look for Jr. Alas, they did not find him. Later that night, we see Jeffy sleeping, when he hears a strange noise coming from the hallway. Jeffy, stupidly enough, goes to see what the noises are. He goes into the living room, and sees the noises are coming from the black couch. He sticks his head in the couch cushions and asks, No, hey, Mr. Wearn noises. What? For 10 seconds, we hear a weird humming noise coming from the couch. Then, a bloody mangled hand reaches for Jeffy, and pulls him into the couch. We then see Jeffy wake up in a field similar to the one in the thumbnail. A creepy field with scarce trees, and no color. The next sound for the next 20 seconds is the sound of wind rustling through the trees. Even Jeffy is discolored and appears to be expressionless. Then the scene changes as this mystery world dissolves around him, and Jeffy is now inside a dark void. He hears a slight noise with sheepdom, a creepy child's laughter, and turns around. What he sees next is even scarier than before. It was a dead creature. Its body and bones were so mangled, that neither me nor Gordon could tell what kind of creature it even was. Suddenly, it lifts its head up and slowly stares into the camera. His eyes catch fire and brightens his face, and he's said in a slow and creepy voice. This is when Jeffy loses it. He begins to scream in panic. Not the normal scream we've heard so many times before. This is a scream of truthier, panic, confusion and loneliness. You can hear the panic in Jeffy's voice as he tries to escape. This figure rises up to about seven feet tall. Most of the mangled meat and muscle falls off its body, as it raises its hands into the air, and gives some kind of ancient chant. Suddenly, weapons start to fly around the void, as to access Sly's Jeffy's body, creating a massive X of blood across his stomach. Then a butcher knife flies around the slowly dying Jeffy, goes above him, and it slams into his head, cutting his skull in half. We see Jeffy's corpse slowly bleed out for over a minute, as the camera slowly zooms out, so slowly that you can barely even notice the camera zooming out. It is now the next bay. There is a missing poster for Jeffy hanging over Bowser Jr's. Mario then gets a knock at the door. When he opens it, he sees Mr. Goodman standing there. Goodman says that he might know how to save Jeffy and Junior, because he secretly installed security cameras in Mario's house, because he wants to make sure Mario's working on getting money for his house payment. They check the security tapes and surely enough, they see Junior getting pulled into the couch. They fast forward to the next night, and see the same thing happen to Jeffy. Goodman says that he then has to leave, because he's being called by the police for all of the money he stole from people. But when we see Goodman leave, the camera quickly zooms in on Mario's face. Then we see Mario tying a rope around his body, as Rosalina lowers him in to save Jeffy and Junior. Be careful Mario. She says. We are all counting on you. Suddenly, the police burst into Mario's house and run upstairs, telling Mario that he can't go into the couch, and that they've been trying to destroy the couch for three years, but they haven't been able to find it. Mario then pulls out a gun, and aims it at the police officers, telling them that he needs to save Jeffy and Junior. Rosalina pulls out a gun, and aims it at Mario, saying that he can't resort to violence, which is pretty ironic considering that she's pointing a gun at him. Suddenly, Bowser pulls out a gun and aims it at Sheila, saying that he will kill her if they don't get Junior out of there. Kinda weird, because since when did Bowser care about Junior's safety, yet alone enough to kill his own life even if he hated her? Eventually, every character in the scene has a pistol pointed at one another. There's a few seconds of silence, until Mario says, I would rather die than have those kids be streamed their shriver. One of the officers, Brooklyn Guy, takes this quite literally as he shoots Mario, as every character fires their pistol killing one another. We then see his screen pop up, with text in the iconic bold font saying, three hours later. It's late at night. All of the lights in the house are out. Mario wakes up and crawls away. Every character from the scene from the shooting, Rosalina, Brooklyn Guy, Simmons, who is the second cop, the third nameless cop, Bowser, Sheila, and everyone else are all dead. Mario hears a creepy wailing noise, as he stumbles to his feet and runs to a dark room in his house. Mario then falls back down to the ground. Mario came to the conclusion, that the couch might be a portal for demons to enter the real world. This makes sense, because people were trying to destroy it. Suddenly, a door in the room he was in, swung wide open. It was the forbidden door from the SML video, the secret door. Mario is scared, because of the traumatizing events that happened in there, but decides to wait out the spirits in there until the morning. He crawled into the room, as the door swung shut behind him. Back in the secret room, except for the faint outline of Mario's half-dead body, crawling through the room. Suddenly, there is a sound of thunder, as a shadowy figure fades in, and stares at Mario for a split second. It then fades away, only to reappear a couple of seconds later, but fades away again. It's the same creepy colorless Mario-like figure with no eyes in the thumbnail, except that this was happening behind the real Mario, so he couldn't see it. It goes through the process of appearing and disappearing a couple more times. We then get one more shot of Mario's point of view. He looks up and sees a shocking sight. A dark shot of Jeffy and Junior's mangled bodies hanging by nooses. Of course, they didn't kill themselves. Whatever killed them must have put them like that to anger Mario. Then we see a flash of lightning, as the creature from the thumbnail appears out of nowhere in front of Mario's face, and screams a high-pitched duck-wrenching scream. That's where the episode ended. Then, the SML question popped up. But it didn't say anything special. It wasn't even a question. It was just a black screen with no music, with text and the usual font saying, SML question, you're next. There was no caption at the bottom, saying that the funniest comment wins a free video game, or anything. After me and Gordon shut the laptop down, and I was about to go home. I went into the hallway, and blood splatters on the wall, and shroud covered puppet bodies around the hallway. Then, the puppets began to speak on their own, telling me to save myself. I didn't know if I was hallucinating, or I just had schizophrenia, and I just didn't know it yet, but I knew I was hallucinating, as I felt the warmth of the blood on the wall when I touched it. I picked up one of the puppet bodies, as it started flailing around in my hand. I saw a rifle on the floor, so I picked it up and I went into the kitchen, expecting a homicidal intruder, but instead, I saw something shocking. It was the dead creature from the black void in the video. It raised its head, and asked me in a slow and deep voice. That was the last thing I saw before I blacked out. Ever since then, I never went back to Gordon's house.