 When I couldn't handle relationships anymore, we reached this point where it's like I just can't, I don't know how to deal with the relationship spirit, you'll have to show me and everything. And the spirit gave me this very practical thing and said, it's like this card game, 52 card pickup, where the whole deck goes, dumps down onto the carpet. And the spirit said, that's when you came to this world, the ego dealt out all your relationships. You know, your parents, siblings, your environment, everyone, your friendships and so forth. And throughout your life it was dealt out by the ego and the spirit said, now 52 card pickup, pick up the whole deck, everything that the ego dealt out. And bring it back into the deck, get it all the way back into the deck and then hand it over, hand it to me. I will re-deal the deck from a new purpose. In other words, it was dealt out from an egoic purpose. And it was guilt associated with every card that was dealt. Even though we had some loving memories, there was always guilt that came in at some aspect. And it was such a big turnover for me when I really did this, when I was able to, even my grandmother, I was like holding on, stick them in the pocket, and she says, I need the whole deck. This has to be a total re-deal. You can't hold onto anything. It seems like a leap of faith when you hand the deck over. That's kind of like with the past. You're really handing over the purpose of the past. It's not that you won't see these people again. I was even told by the Holy Spirit, some of the old cards will come back, but they will come back completely new. You will see them in a new way. You will see them in a way that's blessed. And some of the cards will disappear. So it was that trust of, okay, I'm not in charge of that. I will let you deal the deck. I will let you bring the witnesses into my life. And it's been glorious because there's been thousands of people. You're all dealt back to me. It's a wonderful experience to have these blessings of love. And it was really impactful because I remember talking with Susan about this, and it was just the point where her son had been kind of arrested on August the equivalent of a hero of DUI driving, drunk driving, many times. This was almost like, they may throw the book at him, throw away the key. And after that story, you know, Susan just was going to call in the Spirit from handing over the deck and speak through him not as a worried mother at all. So we're sitting down in the office and he shared this and he shared the story with me and I really got it in the core of my being. And I knew that what I needed to do was shift to a place to absolutely trust God that it was Ben's highest good to go to jail and I needed to be there absolutely in love with that possibility. Yeah, cascading miracles keep him there. Every time I would talk with her, she would say, you wouldn't believe on the way to the court case, you met this woman. He was in such joy and certainty that he said, if I don't go to jail, can I take you out for dinner? And this and this, she's like, yeah, yeah, well, guess who he's with? The forgiveness is a gift to yourself, but when you do it, it's like cascading. It touches people and situations that you've never met and never even encountered. So it's literally like shifting your whole perception of the world and long standing grievances. You know, a son, a grandfather that had never spoken, Skyping each other. You know, a man who was, you were afraid to maybe go to prison for life, you know, meets his girlfriend on the way to court, you know. And, you know, I mean, it's like the movie of the week, it turns into the movie of the week, all from one thing, handing it over. And people say, well, what does it mean to hand it over? We mean really hand it over. I mean, don't think that your worry and concern is actually benefiting the people and the situation. You know, they used to joke about the worrying Jewish mother. You know, don't think that worry ever did add anything to anyone's life. Yeah, legs everything down. Yes, the attachment, the control. And it's really, I would say that the way that Ego set up the world, it's loaded with past associations, you know, almost in a karmic kind of sense. You know, where, you know, the people that you meet, it's like you've met them over and over and over, like the deja vu thing. You're just replaying the same unholy instant. And when you come to the world and you just play by the Ego's rules, you just find grievance after grievance after grievance. It's like in the Bible when even Jesus would talk about forgiving, he would say things like, forgive 70 times 7. 70 times 7. That's 447. You know, it's like, is he talking about with everyone that I meet? 447 times I have to forgive them. He was implying that you really have to free your mind of these past associations. And by giving the deck over, you're basically saying the way that this world was set up was a problem. You know, it was a set up. It was a set up for victimization. It was a set up for mistreatment. It was a set up for, I mean, how many people do you talk about the childhood and they say, oh, this is the most perfect, beautiful childhood ever. You know, things that were not perfect could have been better. You know, I would have had a better start. But the whole thing was a set up. And when you hand the cards over, basically you're saying, okay, I was mistaken. I want a total reshuffle, a total re-deal. And then how glorious to give yourself that gift. And then when they start coming, some of the old cards for me came back. I mean, my biological father, my biological mother, my sister, you know, I looked all the way down. These were giving to me fresh and brand new. We had a new relationship. It wasn't based on a parent-child relationship. In fact, it actually, I remember in this new rebirth of relationship I was with my sister, my mother, my father, and it just came out calling them by their first names, Mary, Joe, Evelyn, Jack. At first, my sister's head snapped. She was so used to mom and dad that when it came out, it came out so effortlessly, so natural. It was like we were having an adult-to-adult relationship, which is a step towards the Christ, not these old patterns. What you did to me, what I did to you, what you didn't do that you should have done, what I didn't do that I should have done, wiped by this handing over. It was like, so it's like Malphrey's bringing up. It's not that you say, I swear off, I will never see my mother again or my father or my family or these people. You're not doing that at all. You're just handing over to the Holy Spirit saying, okay, we deal the deck from a new purpose. The ones that, when you're shining your love and light, like Les was talking about wearing your hat of light just to shine it, the ones that show up that are reflecting that, you know, how wonderful and it's like you're saying, and I don't need anything but wonderful experiences. I don't need to cling to these past experiences where there was guilt. I can be guilt-free. I can actually let go of the guilt. It has never served me. And that's the beauty of it. It comes and it's like, they're born again. It's a new, clean, fresh rebirth, a new meeting, with no strings attached. So, yeah, to me that's what I mean by letting go of past associations. Isn't the deck that you're giving up or is it the belief in the deck? Well, for me it was the deck, the ego dealt the deck the first time. So it was really kind of a new dealer. Because these are symbols. People are really symbols of what we believe. And if we believe in guilt, then they'll reflect the guilt. And what we believe in innocence and forgiveness, then they reflect it. So it was more just handed over and let the deck be redelted. It's been so fascinating, you know, meeting someone like you, you know, this is part of the reveal. Well, how can I be upset with that? It's a beautiful experience.