 Section 32 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Pamela or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson. Section 32 Sunday Night This day, as matters could not be ready for our appearance at a better place, we stayed at home. And my dear master employed himself a good deal in his library. And I have been taken up pretty much, I hope as I ought to be, in thankfulness, prayer, and meditation in my newly presented closet. And I hope God will be pleased to give a blessing to me, for I have the pleasure to think I am not puffed up with this great alteration. And yet am I not wanting to look upon all these favors and blessings in the light wherein I ought to receive them, both at the hands of heaven and my dear benefactor. We dined together with great pleasure, and I had in every word and action all the instances of kindness and affection that the most indulged heart could wish. He said he would return to his closet again, and at five o'clock would come and take a walk with me in the garden. And so retired as soon as he had dined, and I went up to mine. About six he was pleased to come up to me and said, Now, my dear, I will attend you for a little walk in the garden, and I gave him my hand with great pleasure. This garden is much better cultivated than the Lincolnshire one, but that is larger and has nobler walks in it. And yet there is a pretty canal in this and a fountain in Cascade. We had a deal of sweet conversation as we walked, and after we had taken a turn round I bent towards the little garden. And when I came near the summer house took the opportunity to slip from him and just whipped up the steps of this once frightful place and kneeled down and said, I bless thee, O God, for my escapes and for thy mercies. O let me always possess a grateful, humble heart, and I whipped down again and joined him, and he hardly missed me. Several of the neighbouring gentries sent their compliments to him on his return, but not a word about his marriage, particularly Mr. Arthur, Mr. Towers, Mr. Brooks, and Mr. Martin of the Grove. Monday I had a good deal of employment in choosing patterns for my new clothes. He thought nothing too good, but I thought everything I saw was, and he was so kind to pick out six of the richest for me to choose three suits out of, saying, we would furnish ourselves with more in town when we went thither. One was white, flowered with silver most richly, and he was pleased to say that, as I was a bride, I should make my appearance in that the following Sunday. And so we shall have in two or three days, from several places, nothing but mantua-makers and tailors at work. Bless me! What a chargeable and what a worthless hussy I am to the dear gentleman! But his fortune and station require a great deal of it, and his value for me will not let him do less than if he had married a fortune equal to his own. And then, as he says, it would be a reflection upon him if he did. And so I doubt it will be as it is, for either way the world will have something to say. He made me also choose some very fine laces and linen, and was sent a message on purpose with his orders to hasten all down what can be done in town, as the millinery matters, etc., to be completed there, and sent by particular messengers as done. I'll to be here and finished by Saturday afternoon without fail. I sent away John this morning with some more of my papers to you, and with the few he will give you separate. My desire is that you will send me all the papers you have done with that I may keep my word with Lady Davers, to beg the continuance of your prayers and blessings, to hope you will give me your answer about my dear benefactor's proposal of the Kentish Farm, to beg you to buy two suits of clothes each, of the finest cloth for you, my dear father, and of a creditable silk for you, my dear mother, and good linen and everything answerable, and that you will, as my best friend bid me say, let us see you here as soon as possible, and he will have his chariot come for you, and you will tell John the day. Oh, how I long to see you both, my dear good parents, and to share with you my felicities! You will have, I'm sure, the goodness to go to all your creditors, which are chiefly those of my poor unhappy brothers, and get an account of all you are bound for, and every one shall be paid to the utmost farthing and interest besides, though some of them have been very cruel and unrelenting, but they are entitled to their own and shall be thankfully paid. Now I think of it, John shall take my papers down to this place, that you may have something to amuse you of your dear child's, instead of those you part with, and I will continue writing till I am settled and you are determined, and then I shall apply myself to the duties of the family in order to become as useful to my dear benefactor as my small abilities will let me. If you think a couple of guineas will be of use to Mrs. Mumford, who I doubt has not much a forehand, pray give them to her from me, and I will return them to you, as for a pair of gloves on my nuptials, and look through your poor acquaintances and neighbors, and let me have a list of such honest industrious poor as may be true objects of charity, and have no other assistance, particularly such as our blind, lame or sickly, with their several cases, and also such poor families and housekeepers as are reduced by misfortunes as ours was, and where a great number of children may keep them from rising to a state of tolerable comfort, and I will choose as well as I can, for I long to be making a beginning with the kind quarterly benevolence my dear good benefactor has bestowed upon me for such good purposes. I am resolved to keep account of all these matters, and Mr. Longman has already furnished me with a vellum book of white paper, some sides of which I hope soon to fill with the names of proper objects, and though my dear master has given me all this without account, yet shall he see, but nobody else, how I lay it out, from quarter to quarter, and I will, if any be left, carry it on, like an accountant, to the next quarter, and strike a balance four times a year, and a general balance at every year's end, and I have written in it humble returns for divine mercies, and locked it up safe in my newly presented cabinet. I intend to let Lady Davers see no farther of my papers than to her own angry letter to her brother, for I would not have her see my reflections upon it, and she'll know down to that place all that's necessary for her curiosity as to my sufferings and the stratagems used against me and the honest part I have been enabled to act, and I hope, when she has read them all, she will be quite reconciled, for she will see it is all God Almighty's doings, and that a gentleman of his parts and knowledge was not to be drawn in by such a poor young body as me. I will detain John no longer, he will tell you to read this last part first, and while he stays, and so, with my humble duty to you both, and my dear Mr. B's kind remembrance, I rest your ever-dutiful and gratefully happy daughter. Wednesday evening. Honored Father and Mother, I will now proceed with my journal. On Tuesday morning my dear Sir rode out and brought with him to dinner Mr. Martin of the Grove, and Mr. Arthur and Mr. Brooks, and won Mr. Chambers, and he stepped up to me and said he had rode out too far to return to breakfast, but he had brought with him some of his old acquaintance to dine with me. Are you sorry for it, Pamela? said he. I remembered his lessons and said, No, sure, sir, I cannot be angry at anything you are pleased to do. Said he, you know Mr. Martin's character, and have severely censured him in one of your letters as one of my brother rakes and for his three liings in. He then gave me the following account, how he came to bring them. Said he, I met them all at Mr. Arthur's, and his lady asked me if I was really married. I said yes, really. And to whom, said Mr. Martin, why, replied I bluntly, to my mother's waiting-made. They could not tell what to say to me hereupon, and looked upon one another, and I saw I had spoiled a jest from each. Mrs. Arthur said, You have indeed, sir, a charming creature as ever I saw, and she has mighty good luck. I said I, and so have I, but I shall say the less, because a man never did anything of this nature that he did not think he ought if it were but in policy to make the best of it. Nay, said Mr. Arthur, if you have sinned it is with your eyes open, for you know the world as well as any gentleman of your years in it. Why really, gentlemen, said I, I should be glad to please all my friends, but I can't expect, till they know my motives and inducements, that it will be so immediately. But I do assure you I am exceedingly pleased myself, and that you know is most to the purpose. Said Mr. Brooks, I have heard my wife praise your spouse, that is, so much for person in beauty, that I wanted to see her of all things. Why, replied I, if you'll all go and take a dinner with me, you shall see her with all my heart. And Mrs. Arthur, will you bear us company? No indeed, sir, said she. What, I'll warrant, my wife will not be able to reconcile you to my mother's waiting maid, is not that it? Tell truth, Mrs. Arthur. Nay, said she, I shan't be backward to pay your spouse a visit in company of the neighboring ladies, but for one single woman to go on such a sudden motion too, with so many gentlemen, is not right. But that need not hinder you, gentlemen. So, said he, the rest sent, that they should not dine at home, and they and Mr. Chambers, a gentleman lately settled in these parts, one and all came with me. And so, my dear, concluded he, when you make your appearance next Sunday, you're sure of a party in your favor, for all that see you must esteem you. He went to them, and when I came down to dinner, he was pleased to take me by the hand at my entrance into the parlor, and said, My dear, I have brought some of my good neighbors to dine with you. I said, you are very good, sir. My dear, this gentleman is Mr. Chambers, and so he presented every one to me, and they saluted me and wished us both joy. I, for my part, said Mr. Brooks, wish you joy most heartily. My wife told me a good deal of the beauties of your person, but I did not think we had such a flower in our country. Sir, said I, your lady is very partial to me, and you are so polite a gentleman that you will not contradict your good lady. I'll assure you, madame, returned he, you have not hit the matter at all, for we contradict one another twice or thrice a day, but the devils end if we are not agreed in so clear a case. Said Mr. Martin, Mr. Brooks says very true, madame, in both respects, meaning his wife's and his own contradiction to one another, as well as in my favor. Four, added he, they have been married some years. As I had not the best opinion of this gentleman nor his jest, I said, I am almost sorry, sir, for the gentleman's jest upon himself and his lady, but I think it should have relieved him from a greater jest, your pleasant confirmation of it. But still the reason you give that it may be so, I hope, is the reason that may be given that it is not so, to wit, that they have been married some years. Said Mr. Arthur, Mr. Martin, I think the lady has very handsomely reproved you. I think so too, said Mr. Chambers, and it was but a very indifferent compliment to a bride. Said Mr. Martin, compliment or not, gentlemen, I have never seen a matrimony of any time standing that it was not so, little or much, but I dare say it will never be so here. To be sure, sir, said I, if it was, I must be the ungratefulest person in the world, because I am the most obliged person in it. That notion, said Mr. Arthur, is so excellent that it gives a moral certainty it never can. Sir, said Mr. Brooks, to my dear master softly, you have a most accomplished lady I do assure you, as well in her behavior and wit, as in her person, call her what you please. Why, my dear friend, said my master, I must tell you, as I have said before now, that her person made me her lover, but her mind made her my wife. The first course coming in, my dear sir led me himself to my place, and set Mr. Chambers as the greatest stranger at my right hand, and Mr. Brooks at my left, and Mr. Arthur was pleased to observe, much to my advantage, on the ease and freedom with which I behaved myself and helped them. And, said, he would bring his lady to be a witness and a learner both of my manners. I said, I should be proud of any honor Mrs. Arthur would vouchsafe to do me, and if once I could promise myself the opportunity of his good lady's example, and those of the other gentlemen present, I should have the greater opinion of my worthiness to sit in the place I filled at present with much insufficiency. Mr. Arthur drank to my health and happiness, and said, my wife told your spouse, madame, you had very good luck in such a husband, but I now see who has the best of it. Said Mr. Brooks, come, come, let's make no compliments, for the plain truth of the matter is our good neighbor's generosity and judgment have met with so equal a match in his lady's beauty and merit that I know not which has the best luck, but may you be both long happy together, say I, and so he drank a glass of wine. My best friend, who always takes delight to have me praised, seemed much pleased with our conversation, and he said the kindest, tenderest, and most respectful things in the world to me, in so much that the rough Mr. Martin said, did you ever think our good friend here, who used to ridicule matrimony so much, would have made so complacent a husband? How long do you intend, sir, that this shall hold? As long as my good girl deserves it, said he, and that I hope will be forever. But, continued the kind gentleman, you need not wonder I have changed my mind as to wedlock, for I never expected to meet with one whose behavior and sweetness of temper were so well adapted to make me happy. After dinner and having drank good health to each of their ladies, I withdrew, and they sat and drank two bottles of clear at a peace, and were very merry, and went away full of my praises, and vowing to bring their ladies to see me. John, having brought me your kind letter, my dear father, I told my good master, after his friends were gone, how gratefully you received his generous intentions as to the kentish farm, and promised your best endeavors to serve him in that estate, and that you hoped your industry and care would be so well employed in it that you should be very little troublesome to him. As to the liberal manner in which he had intended to add to a provision, that of itself exceeded all you wished. He was very well pleased with your cheerful acceptance of it. I am glad your engagements in the world lie in so small a compass. As soon as you have gotten an account of them exactly, you will be pleased to send it me with the list of the poor folks you are so kind to promise to procure me. I think, as my dear master is so generous, you should account nothing that is plain too good. Pray don't be afraid of laying out upon yourselves. My dear sir intends you shall not, when you come to us, return to your old abode, but stay with us till you set out for kent, and so you must dispose of yourselves accordingly. And I hope, my dear father, you have quite left off all slavish business. As Farmer Jones has been kind to you, as I have heard you say, pray when you take leave of them, present them with three guineas worth of good books, such as a family Bible, a common prayer, a whole duty of man, or any other you think will be acceptable, for they live a great way from church, and in winter the ways from their farm thither are impassable. He has brought me my papers safe, and I will send them to Lady Davers the first opportunity down to the place I mentioned in my last. My dear Mr. B. just now tells me that he will carry me in the morning, a little airing about ten miles off, in his chariot and poor, to breakfast at a farmhouse noted for a fine dairy, and where now and then the neighboring gentry of both sexes resort for that purpose. Thursday. We set out at about half an hour after six, accordingly, and driving pretty smartly, got at this truly neat house at half an hour after eight, and I was much pleased with the neatness of the good woman and her daughter in maid, and he was so good as to say he would now and then take a turn with me to the same place and on the same occasion as I seemed to like it. For it would be a pretty exercise and procure us appetites to our breakfasts, as well as our return wood to our dinners. But I find this was not, though a very good reason, the only one for which he gave me this agreeable airing, as I shall acquaint you. We were prettily received and entertained here, and an elegance he ran through everything, persons as well as furniture, yet all plain, and my master said to the good housewife, Do your young boarding school ladies still at times continue their visits to you, Mrs. Dobson? Yes, sir, said she, I expect three or four of them every minute. There is my dear, said he, within three miles of this farm, a very good boarding school for ladies. The governess of it keeps a chaise in pair, which is to be made a double chaise at pleasure. And in summertime, when the Misses perform their tasks to satisfaction, she favors them with an airing to this place three or four at a time, and after they have breakfasted they are carried back. And this serves both for a reward and for exercise, and the Misses who have this favor are not a little proud of it, and it brings them forward in their respective tasks. A very good method, sir, said I, and just as we were talking, the chaise came in with four Misses, all pretty much of a size, and a maid servant to attend them. They were shown another little neat apartment that went through ours, and made their honors very prettily as they passed by us. I went into the room to them and asked them questions about their work and their lessons and what they had done to deserve such a fine airing and breakfasting, and they all answered me very prettily. And pray, little ladies, said I, what may I call your names? One was called Miss Birdoff, one Miss Nugent, one Miss Booth, and the fourth Miss Goodwin. I don't know which, said I, is the prettiest, but you are all best, my little dears, and you have a very good governess to indulge you with such a fine airing and such delicate cream and bread and butter. I hope you think so too. My master came in, and I had no mistrust in the world, and he kissed each of them, but looked more wishfully on Miss Goodwin than on any of the others, but I thought nothing just then. Had she been called Miss Godfrey, I had hit upon it in a trice. When we went from them, he said, which do you think the prettiest of all those Misses? Really, sir, said I, it is very hard to say. Miss Booth is a pretty brown girl, and has a fine eye. Miss Birdoff has a great deal of sweetness in her countenance, but is not so regularly featured. Miss Nugent is very fair, and Miss Goodwin has a fine black eye, and is besides, I think, the gentilist-shaped child, but they are all pretty. The maid let them into the garden to show them the beehives, and Miss Goodwin made a particular fine curtsy to my master, and I said, I believe Miss knows you, sir, and, taking her by the hand, I said, do you know this gentleman, my pretty dear? Yes, madame, said she, it is my own dear uncle. I clasped her in my arms. Oh, why did you not tell me, sir, said I, that you had a niece among these little ladies, and I kissed her in the way she tripped after the others. But pray, sir, said I, how can this be? You have no sister nor brother, but Lady Davers, how can this be? He smiled, and then I said, oh, my dearest sir, tell me now the truth, does not this pretty miss stand in a nearer relation to you than as a niece? I know she does, I know she does, and I embraced him as he stood. Tis even so, my dear, replied he, and you remember my sister's good-natured hint of Miss Sally Godfrey? I do well, sir, said I, but this is Miss Goodwin. Her mother chose that name for her, said he, because she should not be called by her own. Well, said I, excuse me, sir, I must go and have a little prattle with her. I'll send for her in again, replied he, and in she came in a moment. I took her in my arms and said, oh my charming dear, will you love me, will you let me be your aunt? Yes, madame, answered she, with all my heart, and I will love you dearly, but I mustn't love my uncle. Why so, said he, because, replied she, you would not speak to me at first, and because you would not let me call you uncle, for it seems she was bid not, that I might not guess at her presently. And yet, said the pretty dear, I had not seen you a great while, so I hadn't. Well, Pamela, said he, now can you allow me to love this little innocent? Allow you, sir, replied I, you would be very barbarous if you did not, and I should be more so if I did not further it all I could, and love the little lamb myself for your sake and for her own sake, and in compassion to her poor mother, though unknown to me. And tears stood in my eyes, said he, why my love are your words so kind and your countenance so sad? I drew to the window from the child, and said, sad it is not, sir, but I have a strange grief and pleasure at once in my breast on this occasion. It is indeed a twofold grief and a twofold pleasure. As how, my dear, said he, why, sir, replied I, I cannot help being grieved for the poor mother of this sweet babe to think if she be living that she must call her chiefest delight her shame, if she be no more, that she must have had such remorse on her poor mind when she came to leave the world and her little babe. And in the second place I grieve that it must be thought a kindness to the dear little soul, not to let her know how near the dearest relation she has in the world is to her. Forgive me, dear sir, I say not this to reproach you in the least, indeed I don't, and I have a twofold cause of joy. First, that I have had the grace to escape the like unhappiness with this poor gentlewoman, and second, that this discovery has given me an opportunity to show the sincerity of my grateful affection for you, sir, in the love I will always express to this dear child. And then I stepped to her again and kissed her and said, Join with me, my pretty love, to beg your dear uncle to let you come and live with your new aunt. Indeed, my little precious, I'll love you dearly. Will you, sir, said the little charmer, will you let me go and live with my aunt? You are very good, my Pamela, said he, and I have not once been deceived in the hopes my fond heart has entertained of your prudence. But will you, sir, said I, will you grant me this favour? I shall most certainly love the little charmer, and all I am capable of doing for her both by example and affection shall most cordially be done. My dearest sir, added I, obliged me in this thing. I think already my heart is set upon it. What a sweet employment and companionship shall I have. We'll talk of this some other time, replied he, but I must in prudence put some bounds to your amiable generosity. I had always intended to surprise you into this discovery, but my sister led the way to it out of a cornice in her spite that I could not brook. And though you have pleased me beyond expression in your behaviour on this occasion, yet I can't say that you have gone much beyond my expectations, for I have such a high opinion of you that I think nothing could have shaken it, but a contrary conduct to this you have expressed on so tender a circumstance. Well, sir, said the dear little miss, then you will not let me go home with my aunt, will you? I am sure she will love me. When you break up next, my dear, said he, if you are a good girl, you shall pay your new aunt a visit. She made a low curtsy. Thank you, sir, answered she. Yes, my dear, said I, and I will get you some fine things against the time. I would have brought you some now, had I known I should have seen my pretty love. Thank you, madame, returned she. How old, sir, said I, is miss? Between six and seven, answered he. Was she ever, sir, said I, at your house? My sister, replied he, carried her hither once as a dear relation of her lords. I remember, sir, said I, a little miss, and Mrs. Dervis and I took her to be a relation of Lord Davers. My sister, returned he, knew the whole secret from the beginning, and it made her a great merit with me, that she kept it from the knowledge of my father, who was then living, and of my mother to her dying day, though she descended so low in her rage to hint the matter to you. Mrs. Dervis took their leaves soon after, and I know not how, but I am strangely affected with this dear child. I wish he would be so good as to let me have her home. It would be a great pleasure to have such a fine opportunity, obliged as I am, to show my love for himself in my fondness for his dear miss. As we came home together in the chariot, he gave me the following particulars of this affair, additional to what he had before mentioned. That this lady was of a good family and the flower of it, but that her mother was a person of great art and address, and not altogether so nice in the particular between himself and miss, as she ought to have been. That particularly, when she had reason to find him unsettled and wild, and her daughter in more danger from him than he was from her, yet she encouraged their privacies, and even at last, when she had reason to apprehend from their being surprised together, in a way not so creditable to the lady, that she was far from forbidding their private meetings. On the contrary, that, on a certain time, she had set one that had formerly been her foot-man, and a half-pay officer, her relation, to watch an opportunity, and to frighten him into a marriage with the lady. That, accordingly, when they had surprised him in her chamber, just as he had been let in, they drew their swords upon him and threatened instantly to kill him if he did not propose marriage on the spot, and that they had a person ready below stairs as he found afterwards. That then he suspected, from some strong circumstances, that miss was in the plot, which so enraged him with their menaces together, that he drew and stood upon his defense, and was so much in earnest that the man he pushed into the arm and disabled, and pressing prettily forward upon the other as he retreated and rushed in upon him near the top of the stairs and pushed him down one pair, and he was much hurt by the fall. Not but that, he said, he might have paid for his rashness, but that the business of his antagonists was rather to frighten than to kill him. That upon this, in the sight of the old lady, the person she had provided and her other daughters, he went out of their house with bitter execrations against them all. That after this, designing to break off all correspondence with the whole family and miss too, she found means to engage him to give her a meeting at Woodstock in order to clear herself. That, poor lady, she was there obliged, naughty creature as he was, to make herself quite guilty of a worse fault in order to clear herself of a lighter. That they afterwards met at Godstow often at Woodstock and every neighboring place to Oxford where he was then studying as it proved guilty lessons instead of improving ones. Till at last, the effect of their frequent interviews grew too obvious to be concealed. That the young lady then, when she was not fit to be seen for the credit of the family, was confined and refused to induce him to marry her. That, finding nothing would do, they at last resolved to complain to his father and mother but that he made his sister acquainted with the matter who then happened to be at home and by her management and spirit their intentions of that sort were frustrated and, seeing no hopes, they agreed to Lady Davers's proposals and sent poor miss down to Marlborough where at her expense which he answered to her again she was provided for and privately lay in. That Lady Davers took upon herself the care of the little one till it came to be fit to be put to the boarding school where it now is and that he had settled upon the dear little miss such as some of money as the interest of it would handsomely provide for her and the principal would be a tolerable fortune fit for a gentle woman when she came to be marriageable and this my dear said he is the story in brief and I do assure you Pamela added he I am far from making a boast of or taking pride in this affair but since it has happened I can't say but I wish the poor child to live and be happy and I must endeavor to make herself Sir said I to be sure you should and I shall take a very great pride to contribute to the dear little soul's felicity if you will permit me to have her home but added I does miss know anything who are her father and mother I wanted him to say if the poor lady was living her dad no answered he her governess has been told by my sister that she is the daughter of a gentleman and his lady who are related at a distance to Lord Davers and now live in Jamaica and she calls me uncle only because I am the brother to Lady Davers whom she calls aunt and who is very fond of her as is also my lord who knows the whole matter and they have her at all her little school recesses at their house and are very kind to her I believe added he the truth of the matter is very little known or suspected for as her mother is of no mean family her friends endeavor to keep its secret as much as I and Lady Davers till her wrath boiled over to other day has managed the matter very dexterously and kindly the words mother is of no mean family gave me not to doubt the poor lady was living and I said but how sir can the dear Mrs. Poor mother be content to deny herself the enjoyment of so sweet a child Pamela replied he now you come in I see you want to know what's become of the poor mother it is natural enough you should be as willing to see how the little suspense would operate upon you dear sir said I may replied he is very natural my dear I think you have had a great deal of patients and are come at this question so fairly that you deserve to be answered you must know then there is some foundation for saying that her mother at least lives in Jamaica for there she does live and very happily to the child that nobody expected her life and this when she was up made such an impression upon her that she dreaded nothing so much as the thoughts of returning to her former fault and to say the truth I had intended to make her a visit as soon as her month was well up and so unknown to me she engaged herself to go to Jamaica with two young ladies who were born there and recommending to me by a very moving letter her little baby and that I would not suffer it to be called by her name but good win that her shame might be the less known for hers and her family's sake she got her friends to assign her 500 pounds in full of all her demands upon her family and went up to London and embarked with her companions at Gravesend and so sailed to Jamaica since well and happily married passing to her husband for a young widow with one daughter which her husband's friends take care of and provide for and so you see Pamela that in the whole story on both sides the truth is as much preserved as possible poor lady said I how her story moves me I am glad she is so happy at last and my dear said he are you not glad she is so far off to as to that sir said I I cannot be sorry to be sure as she is so happy which she could not have been here for sir I doubt you would have proceeded with your temptations if she had not gone and it showed she was much in earnest to be good that she could leave her native country leave all her relations leave you whom she so well loved leave her dear baby and so sailed among quite strangers and hazard the seas and all to preserve herself from further guiltiness indeed indeed sir said I I bleed for what her distress must be in this case I am grieved for her poor minds remorse through her child bed terrors which could have so great and so worthy and effect upon her afterwards and I honor her resolution and would rank such a lady in the class of those who are most virtuous and doubt not God Almighty's mercy to her and that her present happiness is the result of his gracious providence blessing her penitence and reformation but sir said I did you not once see the poor lady after her lying in I did not believe her so much in earnest answered he and I went down to Marlboro and heard she was gone to Reading to a relations there thither I went and heard she was gone to Oxford I followed and there she was but I could not see her she at last received a letter from me begging a meeting with her for I found her departure with the ladies was resolved on and that she was with her friends only to take leave of them and receive her agreed on portion and she appointed the Saturday following the old place at Woodstock then added he I thought I was sure of her and doubted not I should spoil her intended voyage I set out on Thursday to Gloucester on a party of pleasure and on Saturday I went to the place appointed at Woodstock but when I came thither I found a letter instead of my lady and when I opened it it was to beg my pardon for deceiving me expressing pity and the apprehension she had that she should be unable to keep her good resolve if she met me that she had set out on the Thursday for her embarkation for that she feared nothing else could save her and had appointed this meeting on Saturday at the place of her former guilt that I might be suitably impressed upon the occasion and pity and allow for her and that she might get as upon the spot where the poor little one owed its beginning my tenderness to it for her sake and that was all she had to request of me she said but would not forget to pray for me in all her own dangers and in every difficulty she was going to encounter I wept at this moving tale and did not this make a deep impression upon you sir said I surely such an affecting lesson as this on the very guilty why are the dear ladies pious contrivance must have had a great effect upon you one would have thought sir it was enough to reclaim you forever all your naughty purposes I make no doubt were quite changed why my dear said he I was much moved you may be sure when I came to reflect but at first I was so assured of being a successful tempter and spoiling her voyage but when I came to reflect as I said I was quite overcome with this insistence of her prudence her penitence and her resolution and more admired her than I ever had done yet I could not bear she should so escape me neither so much overcome me as it were in an heroical bravery and I hastened away and got a bill of credit upon his banker in London for 500 pounds and set out for that place in Oxford and got what light I could as to where I might hear of her there when I arrived in town which was not till Monday morning I went to a place called Crosby Square where the friends of the two ladies lived she had set out in the flying coach on Tuesday got to the two ladies that very night and on Saturday had set out with them for Gravesend much about the life of my dear with this however I got my bill of credit converted into money and I set out with my servant on Monday afternoon and reached Gravesend that night and there I understood that she and the two ladies had gone on board from the very inn I put up at in the morning and the ship waited only for the wind which then was turning about in its favor I got a boat directly from my dear Pamela her surprise and confusion when she saw me she had like to have fainted away I offered any money to put off the sailing till next day but it would not be complied with and feign would I have got her on shore and promised to attend her if she would go over land to any part of England the ship would touch at but she was immovable everyone concluded me the young ladies and their female attendants especially with great difficulty upon my solemn assurances of honor she trusted herself with me in one of the cabins and there I tried what I could to prevail upon her to quit her purpose but all in vain she said I had made her quite unhappy by this interview she had difficulties enough upon her mind before but now I had embittered I could prevail upon her but for one favor and that with the greatest reluctance which was to accept of the five hundred pounds as a present from me and she promised at my earnest desire to draw upon me for a greater sum as a person that had her effects in my hands when she arrived if she should find it convenient for her in short this was all the favor I could procure and was determined on going and I believe if I would have married her which yet I had not in my head she would not have deviated from her purpose but how sir said I did you part I would have sailed with her answered he and been landed at the first port in England or Ireland I cared not which they should put in at but she was too full of captain they called him but in my mind I could have thrown him overboard would not stay a moment the wind and tide being quite fair and was very urgent with me to go ashore or to go the voyage and being impetuous in my temper spoiled you know my dear by my mother and not used to control I thought it very strange that wind or tide or anything else should be preferred to me and my money but so it was and so took leave of the ladies and the other passengers wished them a good voyage gave five guineas among the ships crew to be good to the ladies and took such a leave as you may better imagine than I express she recommended once more to me the dear guest as she called her the ladies being present and thanked me for all these instances of my regard which she said would leave a strong impression in my mind and at parting she threw her arms about my neck and we took such a leave as affected everyone present men as well as ladies so with a truly heavy heart I went down the ship's side to my boat and stood up in it looking at her as long as I could see her and she at me with her handkerchief at her eyes and then I gazed at the ship till and after I had landed under sail in a manner when I left her and so I returned highly disturbed to my inn I went to bed but rested not returned to London the next morning and set out that afternoon again for the country and so much my dear for poor Sally Godfrey she sends I understand by all opportunities with the knowledge of her husband to learn how her child by her first husband does happily provided for and about half a year ago her spouse sent a little Negro boy of about ten years old as a present to wait upon her but he was taken ill of the smallpox and died in a month after he was landed sure sir said I your generous mind must have been long affected with this melancholy case and all its circumstances it hung upon me indeed I was full of spirit and in consideration I went soon after to travel a hundred new objects danced before my eyes and kept reflection from me and you see I had five or six years afterwards and even before that so thoroughly lost all the impressions you talk of that I doubted not to make my Pamela change her name without either act of parliament or wedlock naughty man said I this seems but too true but I bless God that it is not so I bless God for your reformation and that for your own dear sake as well as mine well my dear said he and I bless God for it too I do most sincerely and tis my greater pleasure because I have as I hoped seen my error so early and that was such a stock I can truly abhor my past liberties and pity poor Sally Godfrey from the same motives that I admire my Pamela's virtues and resolve to make myself as worthy of them as possible and I will hope my dear your prayers for my pardon and my perseverance will be of no small efficacy on this occasion these agreeable reflections on this melancholy but instructive story of Pamela's and we alighted and took a walk in the garden till dinner was ready and now we are so busy about making ready for our appearance that I shall hardly have time to write till that be over end of section 32 section 33 of Pamela or virtue rewarded this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information www.vox.org Pamela or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson section 33 Monday morning yesterday we set out attended by John, Abraham, Benjamin and Isaac in fine new liveries in the best chariot which had been new cleaned and lined and new harnessed so that it looked like a new one but I had no arms to quarter with my dear Lord and Masters though he jocularly upon my taking notice of my obscurity said that he had a good mind to have the olive branch which would allude to his hopes quartered for mine I was dressed in the suit that I mentioned of white flowered with silver and a rich headdress and the diamond necklace earrings etc. in a fine laced silk waistcoat of blue paddy wasoy and his coat of pearl coloured fine cloth with gold buttons and buttonholes and lined with white silk and he looked charmingly indeed I said I was too fine and would have laid aside some of the jewels but he said it would be thought a slight to me from him as his wife and though as I apprehended it might be that people would talk as he was yet he would rather they should say anything than that I was not put on an equal footing as his wife with any lady he might have married it seems that the neighbouring gently had expected us and there was a great congregation for against my wish we were a little of the latest so that as we walked up the church to his seat we had an abundance of gazes and whisperers but my dear Master was fearful and complacent to me that he did credit to his kind choice instead of showing as if he were ashamed of it and as I was resolved to busy my mind entirely with the duties of the day my intentness on that occasion and my thankfulness to God for his unspeakable mercies to me so took up my thoughts that I was much less concerned than I should otherwise have been had the gazings and whisperings of the ladies and gentlemen whose eyes were all turned to our seat when the sermon was ended we stayed the longer because the church should be pretty empty but we found great numbers at the church doors and in the church porch and I had the pleasure of hearing many commendations as well of my person as my dress and behaviour and not one reflection or mark of disrespect Mr Martin who was single and Mr Brooks with their families were all there and the four gentlemen came up to us before we went into the chariot and in a very kind and respectful manner complimented us both and Mrs Arthur and Mrs Brooks were so kind as to wish me joy and Mrs Brooks said you sent Mr Brooks madam home the other day quite charmed with a manner which you have convinced a thousand persons this day is natural to you you do me great honour madam replied I such a good ladies approbation must make me too sensible of my happiness my dear master handed me into the chariot and stood talking with Sir Thomas Atkins at the door of it who was making him abundance of compliments and is a very ceremonious gentleman a little too extreme in that way and I believed familiarised me to the gazes which concerned me a little but I was dashed to hear the praises of the country people and to see how they crowded about the chariot several poor people beat my charity and I beckoned John with my fan and said divide in the church porch that money to the poor and let them come tomorrow morning to me and I will give them something more if they don't importune me now so I gave him all the silver I had which happened to be my charity shillings and this drew away from me their clamourous praise for charity Mr. Martin came up to me on the other side of the chariot and leaned on the very door while my master was talking to Sir Thomas from whom he could not get away and said by all that's good you have charmed the whole congregation not a soul but is full of your praises my neighbour knew better than anybody could tell him how to choose for himself looked more upon you than his book as Sir said I you are very encouraging to a weak mind I vow said he I say no more than is the truth I'd marry tomorrow if I was as sure of meeting with a person of but one half the merit you have you are continued he and is not my saying so to praise too much an ornament to your sex an honour to your spouse and a credit to religion everybody is saying so added he for you have by your piety edified the whole church as he had done speaking the dean himself complimented me that the behaviour of a so worthy a lady would be very edifying to his congregation and encouraging to himself Sir said I you are very kind I hope I shall not behave unworthy of the good instructions I shall have the pleasure to receive from so worthy a divine so Thomas then applied to me my master stepping into the chariot and said I beg pardon madam for detaining your good spouse from you but I have been saying he is the happiest man in the world I bowed to him but I could have wished him further to make me sit so in the notice of everyone which for all I could do dashed me not a little Mr. Martin said to my master if you come to church every Sunday with your charming lady I will never absent myself and she'll give a good example to all the neighbourhood oh my dear sir said I to my master you know not how much I'm obliged to good Mr. Martin he has by his kind expressions made me dare to look up with pleasure and gratitude said my master my dear love I am very much obliged as well as you to my good friend Mr. Martin I will go to church into every other place where we can have the pleasure of seeing Mr. Martin Mr. Martin said you are a happy man and I think your lady's example has made you more polite and handsome too than I ever knew you before though we never thought you were un-polite neither and so he bowed and went to his own chariot and as we drove away the people kindly blessed us and called us a charming pair as I have no other pride in these things than in the countenance the general approbation gives to my dear master for his stooping solo you will excuse me for it I know in the afternoon we went again to church a little early at my request but the church was quite full and soon after even crowded so much as novelty the more the pity attract the eyes of mankind Mr. Martin came in after and made up to our seat my dear friend I will take my seat with you this afternoon with all my heart said my master I was sorry for it but resolved my duty should not be made second to bashfulness or any other consideration and when divine service began I withdrew to the farther end of the pew and left the gentleman in the front and they behaved quite suitably both of them to the occasion I mention this the rather because Mr. Martin was not very noted for coming to church or attention when there before the dean preached again which he was not used to do out of compliment to us and an excellent sermon he made on the relative duties of Christianity and it took my particular attention for he made many fine observations on the subject Mr. Martin addressed himself twice or thrice to me during the sermon but he saw me so holy and grossed that he for bore interrupting me yet I took care according to the lessons formally given me to observe to him a cheerful and obliging behavior as one of Mr. B's friends and intimates my master asked him to give us his company to supper and he said I am so taken with your lady that you must not give me too much encouragement for I should be always with you if you do he was pleased to say you cannot favour us with too much of your company and as I have left you in the lurch in your single state I think you will do well to oblige us as much as you can and who knows but my happiness may reform another rake who knows said Mr. Martin why I know for I am more than half reformed already at the chariot door Mrs. Arthur, Mrs. Brooks and Mrs. Chambers were brought to me by their respective spouses and presently the witty lady who I once told you joined them and Mrs. Arthur said she wished me joy and that all good ladies my neighbours would collect themselves together and make me a visit this I said will be an honour madam that I can never enough acknowledge it will be very kind so to countenance a person who will always study to deserve your favour by the most respectful behavior Lady Tower said my dear neighbour I had a slight cold that kept me at home in the morning but I heard you so much talked of and praised that I resolved not to stay away in the afternoon and I joined in the joy everyone gives you she turned to my master and said you are a sly thief as I always thought you where have you stolen this lady and now how barbarous is it thus unawares in a manner to bring her here upon us to mortify an eclipse as all you are very kind madam said he that you and all my worthy neighbours see with my eyes but had I not known she had so much excellency of mind and behavior as would strike everybody in her favourite first sight I should not have dared to class her with such of my worthy neighbours as now so kindly congratulate us both I own said she softly I was one of your sensuous but I never liked you so well in my life as for this action I would never see how capable your bride is of giving distinction to any condition and coming to me my dear neighbour said she excuse me for having but in my thoughts the remembrance that I have seen you formally when by your sweet air and easy deportment you so much surpasses all and give credit to your present happy condition dear good madam said I how shall I suit every return my acknowledgements but it will never be a pain to me to look back upon my former days now I have the kind allowance an example of so many worthy ladies to support me any honest to which the most generous of men has raised me sweetly said she was pleased to say if I was in another place I would kiss you for that answer oh happy happy Mr B said she to my master what reputation have you not bought upon your judgement I won't be long before I see you added she I'll assure you if I come by myself that shall be your own fault madam said Mrs Brooks and so they took leave and I gave my hand to my dear master and said how happy have you made me generous sir and the dean who had just come up heard me and said and how happy you have made your spouse I'll venture to pronounce is hard to say but I observe value both I curtsied and blushed not thinking anybody heard me and my master telling him he should be glad of the honour of a visit from him he said he would pay his respects to us the first opportunity and bring his wife and daughter to attend me I said that was doubly kind and I should be very proud of cultivating so worthy and acquaintance I thanked him for his kind discourse and he thanked me for my attention she called exemplary and so my dear master handed me into the chariot and we were carried home both happy and both pleased thank God Mr Martin came in the evening with another gentleman his friend one Mr Dorma and he entertained us with the favourable opinion he said every one had of me and of the choice my good benefactor had made this morning the poor came according to my invitation I sent them away with glad hearts to the number of 25 they were not above 12 or 14 on Sunday that John divided the silver among which I gave him for the purpose but others got hold of the matter and made up the above number Tuesday my generous master has given me this morning a most considerate but yet from the nature of it melancholy instance which I never could have wished hoped for or even thought of he took a walk with me after breakfast into the garden and a little shower falling he led me for shelter into the little summer house in the private garden where he formally gave me a prehensions and sitting down by me he said I have now finished all that lies on my mind my dear and am very easy for have you not wondered I have employed myself in my library been so much at home and yet not in your company no sir said I I have never been so impertinent as to wonder at anything you please to employ yourself about nor would give way to a curiosity that should be troublesome to you and beside I know your large position and the method you take of looking yourself into your affairs must needs take up so much of your time that I ought to be very careful how I intrude upon you well he said but I'll tell you what has been my last work I have taken it into my consideration that at present my line is almost extinct and that the chief part of my maternal estate in case I should die with that issue will go to another line and a great part of my personal will fall into such hands as I should not care my Pamela should be at the mercy of I have therefore as human life is uncertain made such a disposition of my affairs I am absolutely independent and happy as will secure to you the power of doing a great deal of good and living as a person ought to do who is my relict and shall put it out of anybody's power to molest your father and mother in the provision I designed them for the remainder of their days and I have finished all this this very morning except to naming trustees for you and if you have anybody you would confide in more than another I was so touched with this mournful instance of his excessive goodness to me and the thoughts necessarily flowing from the solemn occasion that I was unable to speak and at last relieved my mind by a violent fit of weeping and could only say clasping my arms around the dear generous man how shall I support this so cruel yet so very kind don't my dear said he be concerned at what gives me pleasure I am not at the nearer to my end I have made this disposition but I think the putting off of these material points when so many accidents every day happen and life is so precarious is one of the most inexcusable things in the world and there are many important points to be thought of when life is drawing towards utmost verge and the mind may be so agitated and unfit that it is a most sad thing to put off to that time any of those concerns and perfect health and vigor to give directions about my poor friend Mr. Carton who died in my arm so lately and had a mind disturbed by worldly considerations to one side a weakness of body through the violence of his distemper on another and the concerns of still as much more moment as the soul is to a body on a third made so great an impression upon me then that I was the more impatient to come to this house where were most of my writings in order to make the disposition I have now perfected and since it is grievous to my dear girl I will myself think of such trustees that shall be most of her benefit I have only therefore to assure you my dear that in this instance as I will do in any other I can think of I have studied to make you quite easy free and independent and because I shall avoid all occasions for the future to compose you I have but one request to make which is that if it pleases God for my sins to separate me from my dearest Pamela you will only resolve not to marry one person for I would not be such a herald as to restrain you from a change in condition with any other however reluctantly I may think of any other person succeeding me in your esteem I could not answer and thought my heart would have burst to conclude at once the subject that is so grievous to you I will tell you my dear Pamela that this person is Mr. Williams and now I will acquaint you with my motive for this request which is wholly owing to my niceness and to no dislike I have for him or apprehension of any likelihood that it will be so but me thinks that with reflect a little upon my Pamela if she was to give way to such conduct as if she had married a man in this state when she had rather had another had it not been for that and that now the world will say she is at liberty pursue her inclination the person is the man and I cannot bear even the most distant apprehension that I had not the preference with you of any man living let me have been what I would as I have shown my dear life that I have preferred her to all your sex of whatever degree I could not speak to the world and he took me in his arms and said I have now spoken all my mind and expect no answer and I see you too much move to give me one only forgive me the mention since I have told you my motive which as much affects your reputation as my niceness and often not an answer only say you forgive me and I hope I have not one opposing thing to say to my dearest the rest of my life which I pray God for both our sakes to lengthen for many happy years grief still choked up the passage of my words and he said the shower is over my dear let us walk out again he led me out and I would have spoken but he said I will not hear my dear creature say anything I am confident I needed only to speak my mind to be observed by you and I shall never more think on the subject if you don't remind me of it he then most sweetly changed the discourse don't you with pleasure my dear he said he taking the delightful fragrance that the sweet shower has given to those banks of ours your presence is so enlightening to me that I could almost fancy his owing to that and all nature me thinks blooms around me when I have my Pamela by my side you are a poet yes my dear and I will give a few lines that I made myself on such an occasion as this I am speaking of the presence of a sweet companion and the fresh virtue that after a shower succeeding a long drought showed itself throughout all vegetable nature and then in a sweet and easy accent with my arms about me as we walked he sung me the following verses of which he afterwards favoured me with a copy all nature blooms when you appear the fields their richest livery's where oak's elms and pines blessed with your view shoot out fresh greens and budden you the varying seasons you supply and when you're gone they fade and die sweet Philomel the towering lark on rising wing warbles to you your praise does sing he cuts the yielding air and flies to heaven to type your future droys the purple violet damas grows each to delight your senses blows the lilies hope as you appear and all the beauties of the year diffuse their odours at your feet who give to every flower it's sweet for flowers and women are allied both nature's glory and her pride of every fragrance sweet possessed they bloom but for the fair ones breast and to the swelling bosom born each other mutually adorn thus sweetly did he palliate the woes with the generosity of his action mixed with the solemnness of the occasion and a strange request he had about safety to make had occasioned the day was that I was not displeased with him displeased with you dearest sir said I let me thus testify my obligations and the force all your command shall have upon me and I took the liberty to class my arms around his neck and kissed him but yet my mind was pained at times and has been to this hour gone grant that I may never see the dreadful moment that shall shut up the precious life in a factor of mine and but I cannot bear to suppose I cannot say more on such a deep subject oh what a poor thing is human life in its best enjoyment subjected to imaginary evils when it has no real ones to disturb it and they can be made as effectually unhappy by its apprehensions of remote contingencies as if it were struggling with the pangs of a present distress this duly reflected upon me thinks should convince everyone that this world is not a place for the immortal mind to be confined to and that there must be a hereafter when the whole soul shall be satisfied but I shall get out of my depth my shallow mind cannot comprehend as it ought these weighty subjects let me only therefore pray that after having made a grateful use of God's mercies here I may with my dear benefactor rejoice in that happy state where there is no mixture no unsatisfiedness and where all is joy and peace and love for evermore I said when we sat at supper the charming taste you gave me sir of your poetical fancy makes me sure you have more favours of this kind to delight me with if you please and may I beg to be indulged on this agreeable hand hither too said he my life has been too much a life of gaiety and action to be busied so innocently some little essays I have now and then attempted but very few have I completed indeed I had not patience nor attention enough to hold me long to any one thing now and then perhaps I may occasionally show you what I have aside but I could never please myself in this way the company of almost all the neighbouring gentlemen and their ladies who by appointment with one another met to congratulate how happiness nothing could be more obliging more free and affectionate than the ladies nothing more polite than the gentlemen all was performed for they came to supper with decency and order and much to everyone's satisfaction which was principally care and school who was an excellent manager for my part I was dressed out only to be admired as it seems and truly if I had not known that I did not make myself