 Hey, and thanks for joining us here at Psych2Go. Today, we're going to talk about gaslighting. If you're wondering what that is, we'll explain it in this video. No worries, we got you. Despite how we may feel early in the morning, our minds are powerful things. But you know what they say about power though. With great power comes this is especially true when someone wants to control us and that power is used for nefarious purposes of manipulation. This can range from passive aggression to the more dangerous action of gaslighting. With gaslighting, an abuser executes several various actions and behaviors that manipulate the victim into questioning everything they feel, believe, and think. Essentially eroding their sanity until they're at the gaslighter's mercy. This is the goal of the abuser. Control. We understand this sounds worrying, so let's have a look at 10 signs. It's not you. It might be gaslighting. One, you don't feel like you fit in anywhere. Do you feel like you're a complete outcast or somehow hugely different from others? This feeling is being artificially encouraged by the abuser. You're constantly having normal to find for you by this outside input. Further, they also confirm that you don't fit into its boundaries. Gaslighters do this so they can influence what you think about yourself, thus they maintain control. Two, you question and doubt yourself. No matter how you define yourself, having your own definition or image of who you are is fundamental. It helps us define our values and beliefs, forming the unique and valuable you. Unfortunately, one of the gaslighter's goals is to shred this definition through persistent lies, like you're remembering that wrong, or you never did that. The persistent contradiction is so intense that the victim can begin to doubt things they know about themselves, their memories and their perceptions. If there's someone in your life who insistently acts like they know everything about you better than you do, they might be a gaslighter. Three, your self-esteem is much lower since you've been around them. Have you ever heard or seen someone say, you used to be so outgoing, what happened? Or even noticed a marked change in yourself? Did this big change seem to occur right around the time a specific person entered the scene? Sounds like a drop in self-esteem. Self-esteem is closely linked to mental health and the National Alliance of Mental Illness notes that having low self-esteem can lead to depression, anxiety and even addiction. Abusers actually work to lower your self-esteem, beating you down by bringing up your weaknesses and faults, even if they're not true. This continues until you feel disheartened and believe you aren't worthy of healthy self-esteem. Four, you become depressed. Feeling unstable with your brain a mess makes you more susceptible to depression. To add to this terrible situation, your feelings of sadness and hopelessness are trivialized. The gaslighter will say things like, you're overreacting or you're just being lazy, get up already. This obviously only worsens the situation. Five, you're constantly guilt-tripped. You now have an unfortunate repeat round-trip ticket for the guilt train. Welcome to Blameville. The abuser will blame you for several things, twisting the truth and turning arguments around to dump the fault on you. You may have nothing to do with any of these accusations. The abuser will continue to persist and insist until you feel guilty. Six, you're frequently let down by them. Gaslighters typically don't keep their promises and their actions don't match what they say. They thrive on keeping their victims unsure and uncertain. You're constantly asking yourself, will they follow through this time? Do I need to make backup plans? They see no gain in consistently keeping their promises, so they don't. Seven, you are frequently lied to. Beyond being let down, outright lies are all too common from the gaslighter. We don't normally allow liars into our lives. We catch the lie, draw the line, and set the boundary. Gaslighters don't make it so easy, as their lives are so subtle in the beginning. Then they gradually lie more frequently and make it so common that the manipulated person can no longer tell the difference between fabrication and reality. Eight, your fears are used against you, like a bogar from the potterverse. Gaslighters use your fears against you. This is a control tactic, scaring you into doing what they want. A gaslighter will build on that fear, so it becomes a go-to threat, warning that if you don't change your behaviors to their specifications, you'll end up alone forever. Nine, you're isolated from others. If you find yourself wondering where your close friends went, or why they're now barely acquaintances, this may be from manipulated isolation. The gaslighter exercises others to push you to become more dependent on the only person left, them. They'll spread lies and so distrust in you and everyone around you, making the gaslighter seem to be the only reliable figure. This further benefits them as your isolation means no one knows what's going on with you, so no one can help. And ten, you question everything. Normally, curiosity is a good thing. Asking questions helps us learn, so of course, count on a gaslighter to ruin it. Now, you're not questioning for enlightenment or knowledge, you're questioning your sanity and every aspect of your own reality, destroying it in the process. The horrific repeated insistence that you're crazy or you're making that up eventually breaks down anything previously stable. Without that solid foundation, you start to wonder if all the terrible things I say are true. Do you see anything that rings a bell in your past or present? Recognize hints of any of these points in others? Let us know in the comments below. Being treated in the ways outlined above is not positive, normal, or healthy at all. Even though gaslighting can unfortunately have lasting damage, recovery is possible. Awareness of key signs is the first step to protection from manipulation, which can then lead into the healing process. We'll do our best to provide you with knowledge. Be sure to share this video with someone who might benefit from it, and never be afraid to reach out. And we'll see you in our next video.