 Was there one day or one moment in your life where you just gave up? What are you telling yourself that is not possible? What limits are you placing on yourself that are completely false? Nothing, nothing, nothing can be further from the truth. I'll give you a couple stories today that'll kind of help you lock this into your brain so that we can kind of make this cemented. And where this came from is I saw a post somebody put up on Instagram and it was of a horse that had, you know, was tied up but it was tied to a plastic chair but it stayed in place all day long because it was tied to a plastic chair. And I saw this and it reminded me of a story. And the story is there's a man that's walking down the street and he sees over to his left, he sees that there's a whole bunch of elephants and he walks up and he notices that all of these elephants are tied and these are full size elephants. They're tied by a little teeny tiny rope to just a small little tree. And so there's these huge elephants with small ropes tied to one of their legs and they're tied to a little tiny tree. And he looks and he's like, these elephants could easily break this tree in half. And if they didn't break the tree, they'd easily be able to break the rope. So he goes up to the trainer and he says to him, you know, why are all of these elephants just standing around? Like they could easily break that tree and break that rope. Why are they just standing there when the rope is just tied to their leg? He starts to tell them is because when they're really, really young, what they do, and even though I hate that this is an actual tree thing, but I'm telling this because it's gonna make sense to you just a minute. But this is true. This is actually how they train them not to leave. And what he says to them though is that when they were younger and real small elephants, they had the exact same rope that was tied to their leg, tied to the exact same tree. And as they grew, they didn't realize that they could break through it. And so what happened was they never had to put a bigger rope on them because they were conditioned to believe that they could not break away. So they never had to tie a bigger rope because they not because they physically couldn't do it anymore, but because mentally they didn't think that they could do it. And so one day in their lives, the elephants realized that they're powerless and they gave away their power. Now I hate that story because it seems like animal cruelty, but also on the other side, this relates perfectly to the way that we hold ourselves back subconsciously. You know, why do I share the story is because was there one day or one moment in your life where you just gave up and you just gave your power away to somebody else's beliefs or somebody else who they said to you or the fact that you'll never be enough or because the fact that you failed in the past, you're definitely going to fail again. You know, was there a day that you just gave up? Think about that for a second. And the next question I have to follow up with that is if you stayed there forever and died in the place that you're in, would you be excited about it? Or would you feel like there was wasted potential? Because ultimately, how many of us are holding ourselves back because of something that we failed at in the past? How many of us are holding ourselves back because of where we came from? And the fact that everyone that I know and when I was younger was poor, so therefore I'm going to be poor when I grow up because I'm just the same as everyone else that I was raised around. How many of us are holding ourselves back because of a belief that was programmed into us at a young age? And when I say programmed, I don't mean that it was like some evil person's like, oh, I'm going to program Robin to not believing that he's worth it. What I mean is that sometimes you're just around people and people say things directly to you or they say things to each other and you hear it and it locks into your brain and says, yeah, you know, I will be in the same position because this is how everybody else or I will be in the same position because my uncle when I was younger told me that I was dumb and I'd never be good enough, right? Some people just hear something at one point in time and it just locks into place. And how many of us are holding ourselves back because of a, what a teacher or a parent or a family member or a friend or a brother or sister said to us when we were younger and much more impressionable than we currently are right now. You know, it's bad enough that we hold ourselves back from what we truly want because of limiting beliefs, but it's even worse when you realize that you're holding yourself back not because of your own beliefs but because of somebody else's beliefs that were around you when you were young and impressionable and it just locked into your brain and you decided to keep it. And it's the example I always give is it's like somebody giving you a dirty shirt and you're younger and you put the shirt on and they just say, hey, this is your shirt and you put the shirt on and then you just wear it your entire life and not even realize that you're wearing the shirt. Somebody gives you a programming of not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or never gonna make money or never gonna be happy or never be successful, whatever it is, they give you that quote unquote shirt, you put it on and then you wear it your entire life until hopefully one day you wake up and you go, who's fucking shirt is this that I'm wearing? Right, like most people don't wake up and realize that they're wearing an old dirty shirt that isn't even theirs in the first place that was given to them when they were younger. And so you have to ask yourself, am I holding on to unconscious programs that I'm not even aware of? And when I say unconscious, it also means subconscious. So you have your conscious mind and then you have subconscious, which is below your conscious. And they say about 95% of our things that we do every single day are subconscious actions. Our brain just does it, it's also called a reflexive action. Our brain just does it because it's what we've always done. But how many of us are holding ourselves back? Not because of our own beliefs, but because somebody gave us their beliefs at one point in time. You know, when I was younger, my very first job was I was a bird and fish specialist. I know, be impressed. I was a bird and fish specialist at Petsmart. And it was my very first job. So I was like the guy who would feed all of the birds and all of the little critters and the lizards and also the fish. And then I would clean all of the fish tanks. And the biggest tank that we had was filled with thousands and thousands and thousands of goldfish. And one thing I knew from a very young age is that goldfish will only grow to the size of the actual bowl that they're put in. And so a goldfish that's in captivity will only grow to about one to two inches in a standard size tank, right? But if you go and you find a goldfish in the wild, goldfish will grow to 12 to 14 inches. So let me say that again. A goldfish in captivity in a small little tank will only grow to an inch to two inches, but a goldfish out in the wild in a stream, in a river, in a pond will grow to 12 to 14 inches. So it will grow six to seven times larger when it's inside of a larger body of water. Why in the hell do I say that? Because think about how sometimes you are around people that think small. Think about how their thinking small restricts your thinking to think small. Sometimes you're around people that give you their limiting beliefs and those limiting beliefs restrict you when in reality, if you were to be able to just completely let your mind go and your imagination go for what is what you want, you'd be that 14 inch goldfish. But you have all of these little programmings and these restrictions and people that are still around you that need to be released that are keeping you to be a one to two inch goldfish. You have so much potential to grow in to that massive goldfish, but because of the things that are going on in your mind and the people that you surround yourself with, you're not growing. And so sometimes when a fish isn't growing, you don't blame the fish. You blame the actual surroundings that it's in and the tank that it's in. So maybe if you're not growing, it's not 100% your fault at this moment. It might be the fact that you need to hang out with some new people. You need to release some people because they're actually restricting your growth from being who you could be. So maybe there's people around you once again that are talking about how broke they are all the time and you're subconsciously letting those broke programmings go into your mind. Maybe there's people that are around you that are just consistently negative all of the time and they're just leaking that negativity into your brain. And it's hard for you to figure out how to be positive because you have all of these little subconscious programmings, 95% of what's running in the background of your head is just negative, negative, negative. It's really hard to grow outside of the bowl that you're in. And so what I think you should think of is how many people around me are keeping me restricted? How many people around me are giving me their programmings? How many people around me are making me more negative, are making me more broke, are making me less happy, are bringing the joy and the peace out of my life? Because if someone's taking that and they're restricting you, maybe you should spend some less time with them. Maybe you should find some people that want you to succeed, that make you think bigger, that make you happier, that are always positive and find the good and things even when bad things happen so that their programming start to leak into your mind. You know, it's like that it'll slowly leak in and you don't even notice it, but things people say will click into your brain and things people say to each other and you over here will click into your brain. So maybe you should be more cognizant of the people that you surround yourself with as well as the programmings that you have. And that's the thing that's really hard about programming is that if you're not looking for it, it's really hard to find. And so that's why I always say one of my favorite phrases is when you're inside of the jar, it's hard to read the label. What that means is then when you're inside of the jar of your life, inside of your own head, it's hard to see all of the little places where you're hung up. It's hard to see all the little programmings that are holding you back. It's hard to see all of those little limiting beliefs and where they came from and how to get rid of them. So sometimes what you have to do is you have to actually take yourself out of the jar, out of your own head and look at yourself as if you're somebody else and start to actually break down, hmm, what do I need to change about this person? What do I need to change about their mindset? What do I need to change about their surroundings? What do I need to change about the way that they think? What do I need to change about their programming? Because that's what's so hard about the programming is that if you're not looking for it, it's really hard to find. And so the first step of almost anything in life is to become self-aware of it. And when you can become self-aware of it, you can start to see all the places that you're hung up and all the places where you're holding yourself back. But once again, it's subconscious. It's under the conscious mind and it goes so deep. And I've been working for 14 years to uncover my programmings and I've released some of them and I've released some of them and then one day something happens and I'm like, shit, I didn't even realize that I was still hung up right there. And that's something that I need to work through. And that's the beautiful thing about self-development is I see us as just like a flower that just continues to have new petals that come off and then they fall off and you get new ones and then other ones fall off, you get new ones and they fall off. That's kind of how it is with personal development is that eventually you work through something, you work through something, you work through something and it can go and you can release it. It's like a dead petal that falls off of the rose. But what happens, another one grows and you start to become aware of another one and another one and another one. And you realize that this journey of life that you're on is not about becoming perfect, it's about just working through the little hang-ups that we have. Realizing you might get to the end of your life and not get through all of them. And for some people just that thought can make you really anxious or you can look at it and go, you know what? That's the journey that I can't, I can't change this journey, I'm on this life. So I need to figure out a way to work through these things and work through these programs to make myself happier because ultimately your happiness comes down to you. Your success comes down to you. Your peace comes down to you. Your joy comes down to you. The amount of money in your bank account comes down to you. The amount of people that you impact this will comes down to you. And so if you're going to be one of the people that changes, you're going to have to actually start the change. You're gonna have to wake up one day like the elephant, if they could, look back at your foot and go, oh my God, I can break this. I didn't even realize how powerful I was. I can break this right now and I can just run off and I can be free because I've been conditioned to think that I'm not good enough. I've been conditioned to think that I'm not able to succeed. I've been conditioned to think that where I come from, everybody ends up going to jail. I've been conditioned to think that I'm never gonna get past the set of people that I'm in. And what happens is you wake up one day, you look back at your leg and you go, I'm gonna break this damn thing. Like I'm gonna get past this. I don't see any reason why I need to be here anymore. And I'm gonna go past this that I'm in. And just like the goldfish, what happens? You go from one inch to two inches. And here's a beautiful thing about growth. Is that growth is exciting to people. One of the things that Tony Robbins says is that progress equals happiness. So if you are a little one inch goldfish right now and you start releasing some of your programs and releasing some of your living beliefs and stop hanging out with negative people and start being around people that make you think bigger and people that want to see you be successful and you go from a one inch goldfish to a two inch goldfish and then you look in the rear of your mirror and you're like, man, look at how far I've come already. That little bit of progress makes you happy and we want more happiness. So what do we do? We go, well, if I grew that much in six months, imagine how much I can grow in the next six months and then so what happens? You get excited about growth. You start working harder towards being more successful towards growing more, being happier, more joyful and more peaceful and then you go from a two inch goldfish to a three inch goldfish and you're like, holy crap, look at how much I've grown since I started on this journey and then to four and five inch goldfish and then one day you wake up and you're a 10 inch goldfish and you're like, man, I'm so glad that I started on this personal development journey. I'm so glad that I've put in all of the work. I'm so glad that I, instead of going out and partying sometimes, decided to read because look at myself, look at how far I've come and just that little bit of growth and seeing the way that you've grown makes you happy because progress equals happiness. But the main thing that you have to do in order to start working through these is develop your self-awareness. Realize that there's a lot of subconscious programmings that are holding you back. You've been conditioned, not on purpose most of the time, you've just been conditioned by the things that you've heard and the people that you've been around to keep you inside of a smaller cage and smaller tank. It's time for you to break out of the tank. It's time for you to break the rope that surrounds your foot. Become self-aware that they're there. Get rid of the things that are holding you back and start growing yourself into the person that you want to become because no one's going to come and save you. The only one that can save you is you, but you have to step into the driver's seat and say, I'm going to do this. One of the best things that I think of that really puts in a perspective is the analogy of your life is like being on a sailboat and you're the only one that's on this sailboat. And if you're just letting life happen, that's why they say it's like drifting through life. It's like hopping on a sailboat and just letting the winds take you to where you're going to go. And then one day you wake up and you're in one place, another day you wake up and you're in another place. And then one day you actually, no, physically wake up but mentally wake up and go, oh my God, this entire time I've been on this ship, I didn't even realize that there was a steering wheel. I can actually jump into the front of the steering wheel and I can direct the ship to where I want it to go. When you finally wake up mentally and you start to do that, you realize that with just a little bit of work and dedication into yourself, you can get yourself anywhere that you want to go, the same way that you can get that sailboat to go anywhere that you want to go but you're the only one that can hop in the captain's chair. I'm gonna start off with a story. Back in 1954, and before 1954 for all of human history, I guess until time came in and people started recording time, they thought it was impossible for someone to run a mile in under four minutes. So years and years and years and years and years, people have been running miles. No person had ever made it under four minutes. They thought it was literally impossible, physically impossible. There were actually doctors that came out and said that a human heart would actually explode if somebody were to push themself hard enough to run a mile in under four minutes. So nobody did. Why? Because there were all these people that were in white coats, there were supposedly quote unquote professionals, they were the doctors, they were the ones that quote unquote know it all. So of course we can't do it. And then so what happened? Someone comes out and says something and the mass amount of people in the world go, okay, I believe that. And this limitation was placed on all of mankind that actually paid attention to it. Everybody thought that it was impossible. Except for one person. There's a guy named Roger Bannister. And in 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in three minutes, 59.4 seconds. The first person ever recorded to run a mile in under four minutes. And what did he do? He showed everybody that running a mile in under four minutes was possible. And once people saw it was possible, they stopped limiting themselves. So they went, oh, this is possible. That means I can do it. Here's the craziest part about it. Nobody had ever been recorded running a mile in under four minutes because they thought it was physically impossible. The human heart exploded was not going to happen. So why would they even try? Within two years of Roger Bannister breaking the record and running a mile in under four minutes, 300 people ran a mile in under four minutes. Now, let me ask you a question. Was it in those two years that Roger Bannister ran the four minute mile that humans just magically evolved? They became a great species. They became more superior. They became faster. They became stronger. Their lungs grew to a larger capacity. Did humans change? No. What changed? Their perceived limitations changed. They had the ability the whole time. But the problem was their belief that it was not possible was the thing that held them back. So think about that for a second. Before I go any further in this podcast episode, how many times have you held yourself back because of perceived limitations? How many times have you believed something simply because somebody in a white coat told you that that was the truth? How many times have you listened to someone who's older than you because they said it was the truth? Right? There's another example. For all of human history, people look up in the skies and they'd see birds flying and they're like, I wish that humans could fly and that was impossible until the Wright brothers proved them wrong. People thought that putting a man in space was impossible until the Russian people put their very first person in space in 1961. People said that it was impossible to lay on on that big old thing called the moon until 1969 when Neil Armstrong proved them wrong. And you're telling me that in 1969, we successfully sent a rocket ship 238,900 miles away to a rock that's orbiting the earth at approximately 2,288 miles per hour and then got them to take off from that freaking moon and land back on the earth safely with something that literally their technology was nowhere near what you carry in your pocket and you can't accomplish your dreams. Really? Does that make sense to you either? Cause in my head, that doesn't make any sense. What do all of the four minute mile, the Wright brothers, Russia, Neil Armstrong, what do all of those have in common? One thing, they were impossible. They were impossible and they were only impossible until they were done. And then once they were done, what happened? People clicked over and they went, oh my God, this thing is possible. So I've got a question for you. What is holding you back from following the life that you really want? What are the limitations, the glass ceilings of perceived limitations that you're placing on yourself the same way that every one of those was a perceived limitation, it's just they hadn't figured it out yet, right? The four minute mile, perceived limitation. That perceived limitation was people saying that it was impossible, physically impossible for a human to do it until, oh, actually it's not physically impossible. We were wrong. It's physically impossible to go into space. Oh, we were wrong. It's physically impossible to get to the moon. Oh, we were wrong, right? How many times have people been, oh, we were wrong. What is the oh, we were wrong? That still exists in your world right now. What are you telling yourself that is not possible? What limits are you placing on yourself that are completely false? What is the false narrative, the conversation that you're having in your head that you're telling yourself all day long as to why you can't create the business that you want to, as to why you can't create the family that you want to, as to why you can't create the business that you want to, as to why you can't be a successful artist. What is it? What are you afraid of? What's holding you back? What are the perceived limitations that you're placing on yourself? Is it the fear of success? Are you afraid of what would happen if I were to succeed at such a high level? What would be required of me? Because with success becomes, you know, I had, there's so many things I have to do. So many people are afraid of the fear of success. Is it the fear of failure? As to what if I go after this thing that I really want and it doesn't work out? What if I go after this thing and people make fun of me when I fall on my face? Is it the fear of uncertainty? As I don't know what's out there in the world. I don't know what's gonna happen to me when I go for this thing. Is it the fear of making a mistake? Is it the fear of other people's judgment? Is it the fear of other people's opinions? Is it the fear of disappointing somebody else? Is it the fear of stepping out and following your dream and creating this dream business because you don't want your parents to come back at you and say, hey, why the hell would you do that? We spent $60,000 for you to get your engineering degree. What is it? Are you afraid of disappointing yourself? Are you afraid to bring your light into the world because you feel like you're so afraid? You know this potential that you have inside of you, but if you were to bring this potential to the world, it would scare the shit out of you because you don't know what it looks like to play big and you only know what it looks like to play small. Are you making things up in your head? Are you taking the safe route? What is it that you're doing? Are your dreams so big and so vast that it paralyzes you thinking of all of the things that you must do in order to get that? What is it? Are you making up your limiting beliefs? Are you making up your excuses? And then, once you think of those limiting beliefs and think of those excuses, you're believing them to be truths. You're believing those things to be impossible. Are you saying that you don't have enough money to do that? Are you saying you don't have enough time? Are you saying that you're too lazy? Are you saying that you don't have a car? Are you saying that you didn't grow up in the right part of town? Are you saying that you don't have mentors? Are you saying that people from where you're from don't succeed? What is it? What is the bullshit thing that you keep telling yourself over and over again? What is it? Because it's all false. See, we all have near unlimited ability between us and in us, but we restrict ourselves in the potential that we have because of limitations. That we put on ourselves the excuses that we make up as to why we're not living our dreams so that we can play small. Why we can't reach our dreams so that we continue just to sit on the couch and play around on Instagram? Because I'll tell you what, it's a lot easier to sit on the couch and just mess around on Instagram than it is to actually go after your dreams. Why? Because you're gonna fall on your face over and over and over and over again going for your dreams. But guess what's the beautiful thing about it? You eventually will succeed. The creator of Honda says success is 99% failure. You only gotta succeed once. You've gotta look at your limitations and say, yeah, those are false. I can see how false those things are. We have to rise above the limitation. We have to break free from our fears, from our excuses. When are you gonna stop telling yourself that you can't do that? When are you gonna stop telling yourself that something is completely impossible? Because when we remind ourselves that something's impossible, then we give ourselves an excuse as to why it does not go for it. Because once again, it's easier not to go for it. But we remind ourselves that something is possible, that it is within our reach, that it is going to take more of us. Is it going to demand more from us to get there? Absolutely. But are we gonna be able to get there? For sure. When it comes down to you, it's always, has always and will always be in your head. You're not at battle with anybody else. You're not competing against anybody else. You're competing against the person in the mirror. You're competing against the eight inches between your two ears. That's all you're competing against, it's you. It all comes down to you. It comes down to your beliefs. It comes down to your fears. You are the only thing that's holding you back. Not the government, not your parents, not the degree that you have, not the fact that you should go to college, not the part of town that you grew up in, not the fact that you don't have a car, not the fact that you don't have the money, that you don't have the, that your past is holding you back. It's not your current situation. It's not the fact that you don't have the right circle of influence. It's you. It's always been you. It will always be you. The second that you realize that you've been externalizing all of your excuses and you need to internalize them and put them on yourself, you can't blame anything else but yourself anymore. And you go, I'm the one to blame as to why my reality is the way that it is. We need to reprogramming of our minds. It changes with the story that we're telling ourselves. And so I want you to start to think about that. What is it that you're doing that's holding yourself back? There's one thing in this world that I don't want you to be. That's realistic. I don't want you to be realistic. Do you want to know why? Because realistic doesn't exist. Realistic is fully 100% subjective. You make up what is realistic. So that realistic thing, like it's a glass ceiling. And what's interesting is as you work harder, for some people that might be listening, it might be your goal to make $100,000, but that's so unrealistic for where you are right now. And I get it, that's unrealistic. But that $100,000 is a glass ceiling. It's not a real limitation, but it's a glass ceiling. Here's what's interesting about it. Once you push yourself and push yourself and push yourself and you don't pay attention to your beliefs, and the beautiful thing about the beliefs that you have is you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. So if you have this glass ceiling that's saying, not good enough, not good enough. I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it. But you just work and work and work and work and work and you eventually do it. You break through that glass ceiling. What happens? You create a new glass ceiling and you go, oh, I just made over $100,000. You probably won't make less than $100,000 again. Why? Because you now have a new belief of what is quote unquote realistic for you. So the last thing I want you to do is be realistic. Because there's no such thing as realistic. The four minute mile once wasn't realistic. Going to the moon wasn't realistic. All of those things weren't realistic. You know, if you were to go back 200 years and be like, I'm gonna, you know, one day people are gonna land on that thing up in the sky. People 200 years ago would be like, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Why? Because back then it wasn't realistic. Why? Because it had never happened. So you have to realize all your limitations are put on yourself by you, no one else. So I wanna leave you a couple of questions to help you kind of dive into this and to get a little bit deeper into this. So I want you to jot this down. Get a pen and paper real quick. Write this question down. What limitations are you placing on yourself? What are they? What are the limitations you're placing on yourself? Write them all down. There might be four, there might be five, there might be 200. I don't know what they are. What are they? Next question I want you to ask yourself is this. Why are those limitations false? So instead of looking at the limitations and believing them as limitations, let's flip it on its head. Now that I'm looking at those limitations, why are those limitations false? Maybe someone's like, oh, yeah, I can't be successful because of where I grew up, right? And you can say, why is that limitation? Why is that belief false? Well, because I'm sure there's other people in the world who have come from the part of town that I'm in or something equivalent to it and succeeded. And if someone else has done it, that means I can do it. If Roger Banister can run a four minute mile, I can too. A few hundred people realized that two years after he had ran the mile, right? So why are your limitations false? Why are they not true? And then last but not least, the last question is how can I overcome these limitations? What do I need to do? What actions do I need to take? What systems do I need to set in place? What habits do I need to create? What life do I need to create? How do I need to change my environment around me so that I can overcome these limitations as often as possible? Maybe I set up some sort of way where whenever I start thinking about this limitation, what do I do? I have something else that I do instead. And I develop a system, a routine, a habit, action, something that I need to do to get myself past limitations because none of those limitations are real, they never happen, they never will be. The only thing that holds you back from creating the life that you want to is you. It always has been, it always will be. But the beautiful thing about that as well, the only thing that will propel you forward into creating the life that you want to is you. So you can either look at your limitations or you can look at your opportunities. The choice is yours. A lot of people that I tend to find is they tend to dim their flame simply because they're afraid, and I'm gonna talk about what they're afraid of, but they're afraid of a few different things. For those of you guys that are down in Australia, all my Aussie friends, I know that it's called the Tall Poppy Syndrome where if you look at a field of poppies and there happens to be one little poppy that sticks up, you're supposed to cut it down. So when people tend to come out and talk about how amazing they're doing or how well they're doing, society tends to cut them down in Australia, but it happens everywhere. And so it's called Tall Poppy Syndrome. And another way of thinking of it is if you've never heard of Tall Poppy Syndrome because before I started having people in Australia that followed me and started talking to me about it, is just the fact that people will become haters, they'll be cut down when they're starting to live an extraordinary life. Just because they're starting to do something amazing, people will start talking trash about them. I don't know why it is, we're gonna talk about a lot of different reasons, but we're gonna talk about how you need to stop playing small and how to actually stop playing small. How to fully step into your true potential, fully step into who you could possibly be. And it could be a tribal thing more than anything else. If you think about the fact that 100,000, 200,000 years ago, we were tribal beings. Our ancestors had to rely on the tribe in order to survive. So anybody that didn't fit in with the tribe or did what the tribe didn't want them to do could be exiled. And if you're exiled from the tribe, you're going to die. And the easy way to think of this is that the brightest light gets the arrows. And so we have this fear of like if I am the one that stands out from everybody else, if I don't fit into the box, if I feel and show that I am different, maybe I'll get all of the arrows, maybe I won't be accepted, maybe I'll be kicked out, maybe my family will stop loving me, maybe my girlfriend will stop loving me, maybe my husband will leave me. But in reality, those are just fears that tend to come up and majority of the time what I tend to find when people do step into their true potential is that nobody leaves them. Nobody stops loving them. They're just a bunch of ridiculous fears that they brought unto themselves that actually never come to fruition. But some people dim their light and dim their flame and don't live to their true potential. They start playing small simply because they're afraid of losing people. And that never actually truly happens when they do, if they do, step into their true potential. They're worried about offending others. They're worried about alienating people that they grew up with, alienating people that were there that supported them along the way, alienating people that loved them along the way. It's so crazy how often people don't step into their true potential because they're afraid that the people who love them are going to stop loving them. Some people don't want to make more money than everybody else around them because they think that their family's going to leave them. And I'm curious, does this strike a chord with you in some sort of way? Is there a fear inside of you that if you were to step into your true potential, if you were to become the version of yourself that you know that you have that maybe people wouldn't love you anymore? Because you're thinking to yourself, well, they love this version of me. They don't love that version of me. I don't know if they love that version of me. And so you know, and you're quote unquote safe in this current moment, knowing that they love you as you are. But if you were to change, oh my God, what if my family exiles me? What if my wife leaves me? What if my boyfriend decides to break up with me? What would I do if that happened? And I'm gonna tell you this, if somebody stops quote unquote loving you, because you have grown into a better version of yourself, you've brought out more potential because you've stopped playing small, because you've stopped dimming your flame and you've put your light as bright as you possibly could, if they stop quote unquote loving you, they never loved you in the first place. They didn't. It's the truth. Love is not supposed to be conditional. Conditional means I only love you when you act this way. I don't love you if you act that way. That's conditional love. So it's not true love. So if somebody did leave somebody because they decided to live to their true potential and start living their dream, did they ever love them in the first place? No. And the beautiful thing, if that happens, which believe me, it's very, very, very, very, very rare, that this happens, they show their true colors to you. You should be grateful for that. But people are worried about offending people. They're worried about alienating people. They're worried about being made fun of. They're worried about other people's opinions. I teach coaches how to grow coaching businesses. I teach them for years how to do it because I was able to grow a successful coaching business. So now I teach people how to do the same. It's crazy to me how many people come into that course and want to start learning from me that are afraid to post on Instagram that they're a coach or a life coach or a fitness coach or a mindset coach or a wellness coach or a financial coach simply because they're worried about what their coworkers might think of them. What Stacy and accounting might think of them. What their high school friends might think of them. What their mom might think of them. And they're just worried about other people's opinions. They're worried about making other people feel insecure. If I were to become rich, would I make everybody that I love feel insecure? If I were to make more money than I ever have, if I were to become wealthy, if I were to become a movie star, if I were to become the most successful author that's ever been, will I make everybody around me feel small? Well then I'll just continue to feel small so that I don't make them feel bad about themselves. That's what people think. So what do they do? They stay in a box forever. Hey, you know what? I'd rather play small than lose the people I love is what they think. Consciously or subconsciously. I'd rather play small than offend people. I'd rather play small than people throw their opinions at me. I'd rather play small because I know that's okay. I know that people are around me or here because I don't know what's gonna happen if I were to bring out my full potential. So they live in this box and they're never truly satisfied with their life. In fact, they tend to hate their life because they know that there's so much potential for them. They know that there's so much more that they could do but they're afraid so they don't do it. So they put themselves into a box and they always feel like something's wrong. They always feel like their life isn't right. They always feel like there's more that they could bring out to the world. They're never truly satisfied and they have this build up of energy that they just can't seem to get out and release. Curious, have you ever felt that way before? Do you feel that way now? What's the truth? Because you can stay there if you want. It's your prerogative to stay there but you also have to realize if you wanna get out of it, you're the only one that can get yourself out of it as well. So then they live their life far beyond their true, or far below their true potential and they never get to where they wanna go. People's biggest fear is not being loved, being alienated, being kicked out of the tribe and they know that in my comfort zone where I currently am, I am quote unquote loved. I'm not alienated, I'm in the tribe but if I were to leave this, would I be tribe? Would I still be in the tribe? Would they let me be here anymore? Once again, if someone stops loving you, they didn't love you in the first place. So the real question I have for you, if you're listening to this and this is hitting home in some sort of way, is what do you want? That's the first thing to figure out. What do you want? Do you truly even know what you want? First off, do you know what you wanna make your life? Because it's time to get very clear on that before you do anything else. It's time to get very clear on the life that you wanna create. Now when you look at it and you can become very clear on what it is that you wanna create, now we've gotta figure out what does it require of you to make that happen? What does it require of you? Maybe it requires you to step out, start that business, to wake up earlier, start posting on Instagram. I don't know. What does it require of you? Is it important to you to bring that out to the world though? Because nothing's sadder than someone who doesn't live up to their true potential. There's so many fears in this world. Fear of being not loved, feeling of being alienated, fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough, not being good enough mother, father, not being able to strive for your family. But you know what the biggest fear should be for people? Is not living up to your true potential. Getting to the end of your life, being on your death bed and going, it wasn't enough. It was a waste. There was so much more that I could have done. There's so many more people that I could have helped. I lived far below my true potential. I can't imagine the pain that it must feel like to get to your death bed and realize that you didn't do it like you could have. In the Five Regrets of the Dying, which is a book, the lady who wrote the book is a hospice nurse, which is people who are on their death beds. She said the number one regret of people who are dying is that I wish I lived a life that was true to myself and not the life that others expected of me. Let me say that again. Let me let this get hit home. The number one regret of people who are on their death beds, they know they are going to die is that I wish I lived a life that was true to myself and not the life that others expected of me. Are you living a life that others expected of you? Are you not bringing out your true potential to the world simply because you're afraid that you might offend other people, that you might make other people feel small? Because you can live that way if you want to or you can get to another life and possibly regret. But what you have to do is you have to step out into the unknown. There is nothing else that you can do. Anytime you want to do something great at some point in your life, you're going to have to step out into the unknown. The unknown of, will I be accepted? Will people love me? Will I be exiled? Will I be kicked out of the tribe? There's no other option. You've got to step out into the unknown. There is nothing else that you could do. Either you stay where you are or you step out into the unknown. What's interesting about everyone's biggest fear is that it pretty much almost never happens. That's what's so crazy about. I see this so many times because I've taken so many people through transformation and what it really is is it's the subconscious trying to keep you in your comfort zone. So it makes up all of these fears of being exiled, being people not loving you, of giving you all of these fears and these excuses to why now's not the right time. Oh yeah, what if tall poppy syndrome, everyone starts to cut you down and you get a whole bunch of haters? What's interesting about it is that your biggest fear of not being loved, of not being accepted will probably never happen if that's the thing that's holding you back. Here's what's really interesting. You start stepping out into the unknown and you start doing what's inspiring to you. You start doing what feels right. It might not intellectually think that it's right, but it just feels right. Something about it feels right. And what happens is instead of being exiled, people wanna be around you more. You're gravitating to them. So you're such a bright light that instead of the bright light getting the arrows, you're like everyone around you is like moths to a flame. They're attracted to you. There's something about you that's different than everybody else and you bring something out of me that nobody else can bring out of me. You inspire me. You make me feel better. You make me excited about the future. You make me feel like I want to grow and want to get better. That's what's crazy about. We think that people don't love us. They love us more. They wanna be around us because there's something different about you. There's something different inside of you and you light people up. Your energy will light people up. You become the lighthouse. So many people send me emails and they're like hey, I'm on this journey of personal development and I love it. I'm reading books. I'm listening to your podcasts. I'm starting to go to conferences. I'm investing in courses. But my wife or my husband isn't really on the same page. How do I make them get into personal development? I get this no joke all the time. People always ask that because you weren't in a personal development when you married them. So they're probably not in a personal development. Then you get in a personal development but they're still not into it. And so a lot of people want to force their loved ones into getting into personal development. They wanna force their loved ones into being interested in what they're interested in. You can't force anybody to do anything. And in fact, force will cause more resistance. That's the truth of it. Force will cause more resistance more than anything else. So what you have to do is you have to rise and you have to be the lighthouse. You have to go, you know what? Maybe they're not on the same page as me right now. Maybe I can't change my wife. Maybe I can't change my husband. But what I can do is I can change myself. And I can be a shining example of what happens when you work on yourself. And maybe down the road they're gonna ask me what I've been doing. And this happens more times than you can possibly think. It's the same thing as if you were on a weight loss journey. You decided to start losing some weight. And you look at one of your friends that just lost 40 pounds over the past year. Wouldn't you go up to them and go, hey, I'm trying to lose some weight as well. What did you do? Like it seems to be working for you. Can you give me some tips? That happens all of the time because somebody has knowledge around something that you want to get better at. And being around them and go, hey, can I be around you more often? You start to be more inspired. You start to work out because they're working out. You start to eat better because they're eating better. You start to pick up their habits from them that help them become the way that they are. Essentially, that's what you want. That's what you want to become, right? So people start doing the same thing when they notice that you've been working on yourself. When they notice that you're starting to live up to your true potential. When they notice that you're not the same as you used to be. You're not the same as everybody else around you. They go, oh my gosh, that's like a shining example of what I want to be. I want to be happier. I want to be more inspired. Hey, what are you doing? Then they start asking you what you're doing. It's so crazy. We think that we're not going to be loved. We think that we're going to be rejected. We think people are going to leave us when we stop playing small. When we start showing our light and really bringing out our true potential, we think that people are going to leave us. We think that people aren't going to love us. We think all of these things. Nothing, nothing, nothing can be further from the truth. Will you get haters along the way? Yeah, sure, maybe, but a hater doesn't hate you. A hater hates themself because they are looking at you and going, oh my gosh, I want to be like that. I want to be able to be that way, but I don't have the willpower. I don't have the, I can't take action. I'm not doing what I need to do. So to make myself feel better momentarily, I'm gonna try to bring this person down so I can feel like I'm on a pedestal compared to this person momentarily. They don't hate you at all. So maybe you'll get a couple of haters. Whatever, that's fine. No big deal, but when you're on a path and you're so clear on what you want, you're so clear on what you need to do to get it. You're so clear on the life that you are going to work towards, that is when you start working towards life that you want. You start getting what you want and you start inspiring the people around you as well. If you want to vastly improve the people around you's lives, you have to vastly improve your own life and become the inspiration for them. That is what the definition of a lighthouse is. So instead of trying to force people into the harbor like a tow boat would, you are doing your job, you're standing in place, shining your light bright and helping boats get into the harbor by being your true self. You are literally being the change that you want to see in the world. For the longest time, I didn't understand the phrase be the change that you wanna see in the world. You have to become the change that you wanna see in the world and when you do that, people around you start to change as well. So if you're out there and you've been playing small and you haven't been living up to your true potential, you have to step out into the unknown. You have to know that people are not gonna stop loving you. You have to get rid of your fears. You have to feel the fear and know it's gonna come up. The doubt, the uncertainty, all of that's gonna come out but the only way that you're going to live a life that you love is by figuring out what it is that you want and then bringing your true potential out of yourself and in turn, I promise you, you can inspire those around you as well. Hey, thanks so much for watching this video. If you wanna learn even more about Master Your Mind, click right here and watch this video as well. Action leads to results. Results leads to confidence and confidence is what destroys limiting beliefs.