 One of my fondest memories as a child was the time my parents and I piled into our station wagon and took a day trip to the Bronx Zoo. I was maybe five or six at the time. My father grew up in the Bronx, New York, before joining the Navy at the age of 18 and had been to the zoo many times. He always told me how nice it was, so we went. He was stationed at Andrews Air Force Base at the time. It's about a four hour drive, well, three and a half the way my father drove. If I remember correctly, we left at about six in the morning and arrived about 10, right before it opened. That was my first time ever going to a zoo, and he was right. It was amazing seeing all the animals, the lions, the tigers, the bears, oh my, sorry about that. Anyway, we returned home. I was still in awe of what I saw at the zoo. So much so that I asked my dad if I could decorate my room and zoo animals. He agreed, and he told me about a TV show called Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, which is a show that featured video footage of safari animals in their natural habitat. The first time I watched it, I was completely hooked. My father used to let me stay up late on Friday nights to watch it, as I didn't have school the next day. My entire room was soon filled with animal decor, you know, a lion comfort around my bed, an elephant lamp on my desk, a giraffe rug on the floor. You get the idea, right? Now, given the fact that my father was in the Navy, we moved around a lot. Any Navy brat, such as I, knows exactly what I'm talking about. My parents and I moved around so much that I went to 13 different schools in 8 years. That was until my father retired from the Navy when I was 12. Every single place that we moved to, I always decorated my room with animal decor and would bug the hell out of my parents until we went to the zoo. Some were close by, while others were sometimes an hour away or more. Once my father retired, we moved to a small town in Delaware. That's where I went to high school, got my driver's license, bought my first car, kissed my first girl, and all that good stuff. I also went to the Salisbury Zoo. Every chance I got, it's a small zoo, about 45 minutes from where we lived, with not too many animals, but it's still a zoo. You see, I worked in an automotive parts warehouse through high school. That's how I got all the money for gas. But it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. After I graduated, I decided I wanted to have a career that dealt with animals. So, I got a job working it? Well, due to legal issues, I can't tell you the name of the place. I'll just say that the people who work there are very smart when it comes to pets. I quit the warehouse the same day. I love that job. Dealing with cats, dogs, and other domesticated animals all day was great. My dream job was to work at a zoo, taking care of those animals. But I was never a big fan of school, and you had to have all kinds of degrees and years of education to do so. I didn't want to go through all that. I worked at the store for about four years. When it was announced that the company would be opening 17 new stores, in and around the continental United States, and was looking for present employees to work in these stores, I volunteered right away. Anyone that lives in Delaware knows that there's not much to do there. It's really quite boring at times. I just turned 23, and I figured it was about time I moved out of my parents' place and made a life of my own somewhere. I applied for a position at a store they were building a few states away, and I got it. A week or so before the store was scheduled to open, I closed out my savings account, packed all my stuff, which wasn't much, put it all in my car, kissed my mom goodbye, shook my dad's hand, got in the car, and drove there. I was scheduled to work the next day. When I got close to where I was going, I saw a billboard sign that read, The New Breed Zoo, opening soon, three point miles from here, with pictures of zoo animals on it. Cool, I thought, I'll be there opening day. In retrospect, the name of it should have been a red flag, but at the time, all I saw was the word zoo. I rolled into town, found the store, then went to go find a place to stay. I ended up running in above the garage apartment from a nice lady named Stacy who worked at a law firm in town. I unpacked the car and I moved in. Water, electric, and cable were included in the rent, so all I had to buy was food. I passed a grocery store by the name of Barnabees on the way into town, so I decided to go there. That place was creepy as hell. It had a really bad vibe, so I just got what I needed and I left as fast as I could. Okay, moving on. I'd planned on being there the day the zoo opened, but it didn't work out that way. Given the fact that the store was a brand new store, the manager had us work 13 days straight to set up the store for the grand opening. I wasn't able to get to the zoo until about a week and a half after it opened, my first day off. I looked up the zoo on Google Maps and followed the directions it gave to get there. I arrived a little before 8 a.m. and waited in line for it to open. Ahead of me was a guy wearing an old Iron Maiden shirt and blue jeans. As I'm an Iron Maiden fan myself, I mentioned that I liked his shirt and then we had a small conversation about which album was the best. He said the number of the beast while I said peace of mind. The zoo then opened. I walked up to the ticket booth, paid my $19.99, got my hand stamped and a little blue raffle ticket. Oh, what's this for? I asked the girl. Oh, every two hours, someone will announce a series of four digit numbers. She said, if one of those numbers matched the last four numbers on your ticket, then you get an advanced look at all the new animals and the new exhibits that the zoo will be offering before everyone else does. She said, smiling. Oh, all right, cool. I replied, good luck. She added, it was a big zoo with free roaming animals in large open areas surrounded by huge iron fences. They could walk right up to you if they wanted to. It was great. I actually got to pet a zebra. I was so excited. I walked around for a couple of hours looking at and taking pictures of all the animals when over the PA system, a soft female voice said, hello everyone and welcome to the new breed zoo. Our first group of winning numbers for the day are, I pulled the ticket out of my pocket, held it in my hand and looked at it. The last four numbers on my ticket were 38, 25. The only reason I remember it is because it spells out my favorite word. Well, she read off a series of four digit numbers. I wasn't on there. All guests with winning numbers, please report to the guest relations building located next to the lion's den on the east side of the zoo. You have 10 minutes to do so. Thank you. She said, I looked around and I realized that the lion's den was on my right and guest relations was on my left. Now, I'm sure all of you have been to a zoo and amusement park or basically any business open to the public. And you've seen doors with restricted area employees only do not enter or private written on them, right? Well, on the side of the guest relations building was a door marked authorized personnel only. Seconds after the announcement was over an old man with gray hair stepped out of the door. He had a striking resemblance to Doc Brown from the back to the future movies. He wore a white doctor's coat with a stethoscope around his neck, black pants and a pair of black shoes. He held the clipboard on his left hand. His right arm was held tightly against his chest with a closer look. I realized he didn't have a hand on his right arm. After what seemed like 10 minutes of standing there he began to say, anyone with winning tickets please come this way. He repeated it maybe five or six times. A small group of people then began to approach him. I saw the guy in the Iron Maiden shirt walk up as well as a soccer mom, a big biker guy and a guy in a suit. A few others walked up as well. The old man greeted them with a smile took their tickets in motion for them to enter the door. They all entered one by one. When the last person entered the old man looked left and right. I assumed to see if anyone was watching which was odd. He turned his head back around and saw me staring at him. He smiled, nodded his head, waved then hurried through the door pulling it shut behind him. But it didn't shut all the way. From where I was sitting I could see that the door was slightly open. Now being the curious guy that I am I walked to the door. I then looked around to see if anyone was watching open the door quickly and stepped inside shutting the door tightly this time behind me. The smell of old dirt, musty water and vomit all mixed together filled my nose. I almost puked. There was a dimly lit light shining down from above. I soon discovered I was standing on a black metal platform with a spiral staircase leading down into complete darkness. What the hell? I said to myself I could hear the coughing and the moaning sounds of the people that just walked through the door coming from the darkness below. All right, I said to myself let's see what the hell's going on down there. As I grabbed the railing and began walking down the stairs trying to be as quiet as I possibly could. I walked, I walked and I walked some more down those stairs the dim light giving way to darkness for what felt like an eternity. I then heard a door creak open as a ray of bright white light shot up from below. I then realized I was only about halfway down the stairs. I saw all the people and the old man walked through the door and I watched it close behind them. I was back in darkness, screw this. I said to myself reaching into my pocket pulling out my cell phone and turning on the flashlight. And I finally saw where the smell was coming from. I shined my light against the walls but there were no walls only exposed dirt with streams of water flowing down them. I shined my light downward to see a giant pool of fungus infested water gathered at the bottom, almost reaching the door. And I swear, I saw something swimming in it. I went from intrigued to scared shitless in one split second. I quickly darted down the stairs, almost falling a few times, got to the door, yanked it open and stepped inside, shutting it quietly behind me. I turned off the light on my phone and put it back in my pocket. I was now in a long gray corridor with what looked like water pipes on the ceiling, very dim lights on the walls and a white door at the very end of it. What the hell is this place? I mumbled to myself. I could barely see the group of people at the end of the corridor. I then began walking down it slowly, almost tiptoeing on either side of the corridor were little rums, well, more like cages with iron bars for doors, like a prison cell. In each cell was a pile of what I can only assume were wood shavings and hay. Well, this must be where they keep the new animals. I thought. And then I heard screams and the sounds of a struggle coming from down the corridor. I turned my head to see two large men dressed in black, pushing the group of people into a cell and slamming the door behind them. The old man and the men then exited through the white door and shut it behind them. I ran down the corridor as fast as I could to the last cell on the right. I looked through the bars to see all the people that just came down, laying face down in the piles. Hey, wake, wake up. What the hell, wake up? I said, pulling on the door repeatedly. I heard a door open, then felt someone grab me from behind and slam me hard face first into the bars. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my neck followed by an intense burning sensation. Son of a... I slurred and then I passed out. I awoke to the sound of that old children's nursery rhyme song, we're going to the zoo. I love that song when I was a kid. I played it over and over again, drove my parents crazy with it. Well, I heard the song playing and I smiled. But my happiness turned to terror when I opened my eyes and tried to move. I saw a blanket of darkness in front of me. I soon realized I was strapped down to a surgical table at a 45 degree angle with my arms extended, my legs, my arms, my torso and my head were strapped down tight. I screamed. Ah, you're awake. How nice. The old man said, standing in front of an old dirty table directly in front of me with his back turned to me. The song played on. Who are you? I said. He laughed and said, I am Dr. Ivan Vochinyu. Pronounced Vochinyu. Yes, I know how that sounds. He said, laughing once again. What the hell are you doing? Let me go. I said, thrashing my body around. The old man then turned to me, holding the largest knife I've ever seen and said, oh, come now. This is not an option. I can't allow you to leave and possibly ruin all of my good work by informing the authorities. He then walked up beside me. Good work. I inquired. Oh, yes. He said, let me show you. He then walked over to the wall, placing the knife back on the table and put his hand on the light switch. Let me introduce you to my humanimals. He said, flipping the switch. What I saw in that room, behind that sheet of glass, terrified me to my core. I screamed. I screamed like I've never screamed before. An absolute horror. The entire room was filled with these, these creatures. No, not creatures, humanimals. There were bodies of animals, elephants, alligators, lions, everything, walking around with human heads, old man heads, pretty blonde heads, men heads, women heads, and old heads. It was horrifying. But if that wasn't bad enough, there were also human bodies, men, women, and teenagers, walking around with animal heads, deer heads, sheep heads, llama heads, and many more. I couldn't stop screaming. And through my screams, I saw a panel in the ceiling of the room open up and several mutilated bodies fell to the floor below. And then the humanimals, all of them, then rushed towards the bodies, ripping and tearing them apart. Blood was everywhere. I think you've seen enough. Ivan said, turning off the light. Calm down, calm down. He said, patting me on the shoulder. I slowly began to regain my composure. What the hell were those things? I asked him. Like I said, those were my humanimals, part human, part animal. He responded, is that what you're gonna do to me? And that group of people in the cell? I asked, I'm not quite sure. That all depends on how they do on the test. He answered, what test? I asked. He then walked over to the table and pressed the stop button on the tape deck. The song then stopped playing. He walked back to me and said, well, it's what I call a common sense test. You see, most people nowadays lack common sense. They're always doing stupid things, making bad decisions that get them hurt or cause injury to others or they're just plain stupid, like believing that a zoo would help new animals and exhibits underground in this God-forsaken cesspool. How stupid is that? He said, most people fail and are turned into my little creations, but some of them pass and are given a choice. Screw you, screw your stupid test. Let me out of here, I said, easy, easy there. He replied, tapping my shoulder once again. You've already passed. How did I pass? I asked. Well, you are obviously an intelligent man. How else could you have gotten all the way down here without a ticket? I applauded you. He stated and clapped his hands. Now, now, I only sedated you and restrained you so we could talk. Talk about what? I questioned your choice. He answered, now, even though you passed, you could still resist to be part of my experiment for which I would have to kill you and feed you to my children or you can agree to be part of the experiment. And come work for me in this zoo. You would have to sign a non-disclosure agreement before doing so, of course. All my employees have agreed to work for me. The bodies used for food are the ones who passed but still resisted and the ones who failed became, well, you know. And then he asked me, so what will it be? Hi, welcome to the new breed zoo. One, that'll be $19.99, please. Out of 20, here's your change and your receipt. Which hand would you like stamped? There you go. You have a good time. Oh, hey, don't forget your raffle ticket. We have such wonderful things to show you. Good luck. Well, you obviously know what my choice was, don't you? I mean, I've always wanted to work at a zoo and now I am. Dreams really do come true. Oh, in case you're wondering, the guy in the Iron Maiden shirt now works the kid's petting zoo, his name's Jamie. We hang out all the time. The big biker guy is now in charge of security. The guy in the suit is now half baboon. The soccer mom now works guest relations. I don't know what happened to the other people. I never saw them again. You know, Ivan isn't really a bad guy. Aside from his mad scientist stuff, he pays us well above minimum wage, gives us free entry into the zoo and shows us all his new human animals. If we want to see him, of course. All the animals used in the experiment have life-threatening injuries or are very sick and close to dying. So Ivan gives them a new chance at life, according to him. No animals are killed just because. Well, here comes another visitor. I gotta go. Don't forget to stop by and see us sometime. You have a great day. Hi, welcome to the new breed zoo.