 I am now questioning why I like all of these books so much. I've succeeded in convincing myself that my own taste sucks. What is more festive than a Christmas roast? Everyone is always mad at me for my bad takes. And they're all upset that I don't like their favorite books and they don't like me ranting and insulting their favorite books. So my gift to you this Christmas is insulting my favorite books because what is more festive than a Christmas roast? So today we're going to be chatting about some of my favorite books and I'm going to be ripping them to shreds. I have to say um doing this video has made me question why I like these books. I've succeeded in convincing myself that my own taste sucks. So first up The King Killer Chronicle by Patrick Rothfuss. This series is about a ginger twerp whose best days are behind him. Like any former cool guy or jock from school his life didn't really turn out the way he planned. So he's super depressed and mopey and working as a bartender. Don't try talking to him unless you want to spend the next three days listening to him recount his glory days. Apparently he used to be the shit way back when, wouldn't you know? Better believe he was the smartest and the funniest and all the ladies loved him. So Kvothe would have you believe that he is this absolute prodigy. And this genius who's famous for his red hair has living incognito under the super different name of Coat while this like very sus magical dude is hanging around him all the time. He's got a famous sword on display. Ginger hair fully visible very undercover. But okay so maybe he does hook you and maybe you feel like you actually kind of do want to see. Okay so like how did this apparently amazing guy end up bartending in some backwater town? Like you do kind of want to know how that happened. Well jokes on you, series is never gonna be finished. The whole thing is just a massive prank on the part of the author. So if when reading a book you've ever thought to yourself, man I wish the main character this book was more of a twat. I wish I could hear the cool guy from my high school recount his glory days in excruciating detail. I wish my book series never wrapped up so the mysteries could remain intact forever. Well then King Killer is the series for you. Next up is the first law trilogy. Does it contain a page turning gripping mystery? No. Are the characters wonderful people that you just really want to spend time with? No. Is there some deep lore to unpack with cool Easter eggs and mysteries to unpack about this world and the history and magic behind it all? No. Is there a really interesting and inventive magic system with a lot of intricacies to it to learn and unpack? No. Does each book have a semi-self-contained arc so that you feel like you get a payoff on each installment? Again no. Are there cool names for the people and the places and the things in this world for you to learn? Well it's set in a place called Angland spelled with an A, not an E. So basically if as a reader you've ever thought to yourself I wish this book had less plot. I wish every character in this book was horrible. I wish there was less point to the things that I'm reading about. Well then first law is the series for you. Next up is American Gods. So if you heard this book was about how every emigrant that came to the United States brought their gods with them and those gods now walk among us and you thought how epic, how cool. Think again. If you thought a book about gods would be a book about ancient powerful magical beings doing epic things well then your name is not Neil Gaiman. The gods in this book are shop owners and con men and morticians and every other mundane and mildly unpleasant occupation that you can think of. Is there adventure? Well if you think driving around the middle of America in a crappy old car with a grumpy old boss is adventure then yes. Is there a lot of myths and mysticism? Well if you think reading about poor desperate immigrants coming to America and clinging to their gods in the hope of surviving is mythical and mystical then yes. Is the main character a compelling and purpose driven hero that you can really root for? Well if you think an ex-con who doesn't really care what he's doing and would prefer not to know much about it is heroic then yes. Is it an epic and sweeping portrait of how amazing America is? Well if you know. Basically if you as a reader ever found yourself thinking I wish pagan gods were less mythical, less mystical. I wish I could live vicariously through an aimless ex-con with nothing to live for. I wish my books were longer and more meandering with no apparent point or plot. Well then American Gods is the book for you. Next up Six of Crows. So you read Lies of La Clamora and you heard that Six of Crows is a pretty good read-alike for it. But what no one told you is that it's Lies of La Clamora. If Lies of La Clamora was about angsty teens who need parents almost as much as they need therapy. Did you ever watch Pinkie Blinders and think to yourself man this would be so much better if Tommy Shelby was a teenager. Yeah me neither. Did you ever watch Ocean's Eleven and think to yourself man this would be so much better if the whole crew was in love with each other but was too emotionally stunted to say anything about it. Yeah no one did. Did you ever look at the Joker and think to yourself man I wish gang leaders and magical Amsterdam dress like that. Okay maybe that one yeah. Basically if you were reading and you found yourself thinking I wish more teenagers did crime. I wish the characters in my books were driven by less virtuous motives. Greed would be ideal. I wish the love interests in my books were less communicative and ripped more eyeballs out. Well then Six of Crows is the duology for you. Next up is Red Rising. So you read Hunger Games and you thought to yourself you know what's missing. Posh privileged frat boys. If you love sci-fi because of all the space travel and the futuristic technology then your name is not Pierce Brown. Welcome to the future where we live on Mars but we act like we live in ancient Rome. Future tech how about spears. Space battles try skirmishes in the mud. Enlightened thinking. More like dueling to the death over your honor. Leaders chosen for their brilliance. Now biggest bully on the playground gets to be president. Basically if you're over reading and you found yourself thinking I wish sci-fi was more like historical fiction. I really hope that our society reverts to Roman ideals in the future. Wouldn't it be awesome if our leaders were chosen for being violent psychos that managed to survive a battle royale? Well then Red Rising is for you. And lastly I have the Sun Eater series. So everything that I said about King Killer just replace Kvothe with Hadrian and insert here. Did you ever read The Forever War and think man I wish this was 10 times longer? Did you ever read Red Rising and think man I wish this was more like King Killer Chronicle? Did you ever read King Killer Chronicle and think I wish Kvothe was more dramatic? Did you ever watch Star Wars and think man why are they all acting like Anakin is the villain when he's clearly in the right? Yeah no one did. Basically if as a reader you've ever found yourself thinking I wish Anakin had a chance to tell his side of the story. I wish sci-fi characters referenced classic literature more. I wish sci-fi had more massively jarring time skips that made the beginning of each book as disorienting as possible. Then Sun Eater is the series for you. Hope you enjoyed my very merry Christmas roast. Again I am now questioning why I like all of these books so much. Love it on the comments down below. If you love these books, if you hate these books, if you previously love them and I've now convinced you that they suck. Oops whatever you want let me know. I post videos on Saturdays. Other random times as well but only Saturdays. So like and subscribe. Join my Patreon if you feel so inclined. Have a happy holiday and I'll see you when I see you. Bye.