 Hey, what's going on Katrina? Hello, how are you? I am well, how old are you? 40. Okay, where did I get wrong? Where did I get wrong? You didn't, what? You didn't get anything wrong. You didn't get anything wrong. My question is, I think I'm not your average listener. A lot of times people, things you talk about don't per se applaud me. And my question is, this is like, okay, I'm 40. I have three kids. I've done a said home mom thing. I'm divorced. I've been divorced for 12 years. So, and I don't need to have value in. I'm a point now where I want companionship. I want, I do want a Christian man. I am a Christian woman. I do know that no man is done. What's the question? What's the question? My question is like, how should I put this? Just, everyone that I hear you speak of, you have a, Just give me your question. Just give me your question. Just give me your question. So what do you do? Okay, so what if you're a woman who is old, like my, I'm 40. I don't want to have any more kids. I'm done having children. I don't need to have the high value man. I just want a good man. I want companionship. I want a man that is a Christian. And with that being said, how is that hard for me to find? I know I'm in that danger zone. All right, some man, all right, let me stop you right here. I've asked you like five times. Basically what you're saying is, how does a woman at my age find just a man for companionship for the rest of my life? Yeah, that's a good person, yeah. All right. A good Christian. Well, the first thing you gotta be willing to say it. I knew that's what you were calling to ask for. Send it into it, but you ladies don't want to just admit, you want to go all the way around the world. And me don't want to hear all that. First and foremost, why do you want a quote unquote good man? Cause are your kids out of the house? No, they're older. I have, they're in high school. How old is the youngest? My youngest one is 12. I'm sorry, she's, well, she's in middle school. She's 12. 12. So the kind of man you're looking for, you're looking for somebody just to round, to go to make the home plate with. Yeah. Round and third base, you just want to get, you want to spend it, you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody. Kind of like my mother did. Yep. All right, well, here's the thing. How long were you married? I was married for eight years, five years. Five years, and that was 12 years ago. Yes. So. I'm not even 20. You're 40. 12 years ago, you divorced. Before that, you were married for five years. 17, 23. So you got married early on. Yes, sir. What kind of history do you have in the last 12 years of actively cooperating with a man? That has, that's definitely my issue. There's your problem. It's not a problem with men, man. It's the problem is you in the mirror, because there are plenty of men out there. But let me see if I can fill in the rest of your story. You spent the last 12 years focusing on your job, your kids, your career, yourself, doing all sorts of other kinds of stuff. Now you look up and you're 40 years old and you're about to be an empty naster. Now you want to just plug in a relationship. Guess what? Men are not freaking Lego bricks. Men aren't Lego bricks. Do you fit anybody's, do you? Okay, here's the question. Do you fit anybody's situation? What do I need from a 40 year old? Okay, here's the hard question. Ready? You ready? Hold on, hold on. Ready? What do, what does an errant or a Greg need from a woman who has no history of working with an errant or a Greg? I'm gonna have to ask you what exactly is an errant or a Greg? An average everyday regular dude. You got no history up. You got a history of working with one man 17 years ago. All right Greg, that is the problem. Yes. And the question is, why'd you cut off off? And see, what I need to hear from sisters like you is to tell young women, don't do this. Stop cutting men off. Stop thinking you can just shut men out and lie down and restart this engine at 40 years old. It don't work that way. I agree. I mean, I just- Tell them. Well, that's not the way to work. I agree, it does catch up with you. But at my point, my kids when I first got divorced, my kids were really young. And I was just focusing on raising them. I was struggling trying to just be a single mom with three kids, manage my home and my job and just- But see, okay, so here's the question. Here's the question that's gonna come up. Here's the question that's gonna come up. Why did you and your husband split? That's the question that's gonna come up. You know what, young, I was young and immature. That didn't answer my question, why'd you do it? So you fought for divorce from your husband? I did. Here's the question that's gonna come up, ma'am. Oh yes, I mean, as I say all the time, young and immature, if I was looking back at my pinpoint exactly why, it was just stupid. And looking back- Stupid meaning what? Stupid meaning what? It was young, I was young and immature. Give me a reason. I just thought- Did you think you could do better? No. Did you think you didn't need him? No, I just thought that, okay, I could find somebody else later and I realized I wasn't- So you thought you could do better? I'm out here, I could do better? Okay, see, and what I'm trying to show you, ma'am, is if I met you or somebody like myself met you, they're gonna ask these questions and you got no good answer. I was just young and dumb. I'm sorry, you were married to a man with three kids. Was he working? Yes, sir. Did you have to work? At that point, it was just not complicated not to work with three kids. Oh, Jesus, H. Christ. Did you have to work while you were married? I didn't have to. Okay. It wasn't easy. What's that? Ma'am, see, men are very direct communicators. That's why a lot of you think I'm rude. You have no history with working with men so you think this is rude. I'm just trying to get information. You were married at 21, 22? I was married at 27. At what age did you meet your- What age did you first get married? I got married at 27. You said you're 40? Yes, sir. You said you've been divorced for 12 years. Maybe the math isn't quite right but I know I was married at 27. It's the math of your own freaking life, lady. Okay, Mr. Samuels, whatever. How long have you been divorced? I got divorced in 2012. So it's eight years? Yes, sir. So I get to be mean because she doesn't know how to stop. These things matter to me. So you got married to a man at age 20, what? 27. You got married at 27. All right, and you got divorced at what age? Like 31. 31, so you're married at four years. When you were married, did you have to work? I didn't work at that. Did you have to work when you were married? No. All three of your children were by your husband, yes or no? Yes, sir. So you were married to a man that you didn't have to work and you had all three of your kids and yet you thought you could divorce him and find better. Great, before you met him at 27, between 18 and 27, what happened here? I was with him at my high school, sweetheart. So you were the man that you've known and you've seen him grow from high school to 27. He married you, put you in a position but you did not have to work. You had three children. Yeah, you decided to divorce him and go elsewhere and then you want to talk about how you struggled to be something, see, that's where it all comes in place. Nobody's going to give you credit for struggling, you chose it. I agree, like I said, I was young and sweet. No, man, and see, this is the part, and here's why this is, here's why this is relevant. I need a lot of ladies like yourself. Some of you don't deserve a second chance. Okay. I'm sorry to tell you this. That's why a lot of men think, a lot of, okay, a lot of men will hear that and say, wait a minute, you found a good man, he married you. He sat you down, you had three children and you divorced him for no good reason. And you think you deserve to go, listen, I'm telling you how men are going to hear this. Or do you not want to hear it? This is how men are going to hear this. I married my high school sweetheart, almost 10 years after college, after high school. I did not have to work, he took care of everything. All I had to do was be the wife and have babies. When he took care of it, but that still wasn't good enough. I divorced him, then I had to go out and struggle on my own. Now I look back and say I was young and dumb. Most men are going to say, you don't deserve a second chance. I'm not saying that, I'm just telling you that's what a lot of men are going to hear. Because you had the best, you had more than 75% of black women can ever get, a husband. And you had a husband paying all the bills and you threw it all away. So most guys are going to be like, I'm not going to volunteer to deal with her. Because here's the rounding, let me round it all the way home. Because what's to say if I decided to deal with her and I'm with her for 10 years like a high school sweetheart, then all of a sudden when I need her to be around and I'm 40 and now I'm 60, she going to be around and she going to throw me away too. See the way you guys handle me, what you do with men tells me a lot about what you're going to be like with them. So I'm sorry, ma'am. What's that being said? Go ahead. So let me say this. So I'm sorry ma'am, no one's going to hear a sob story about being a single mother and hard times. Ain't nobody that's going to fall on their fears. You chose that. But with that being said, you were correct. I chose that. I said I was young and dumb. And then when this time you grow, you realize a lot of things. You know, at that time I wanted to know about the bills and all that. Now after dealing with it like 20 or no, you're sure you're going to get paid. Where's your ex? Where's your ex? And we're still married. We have a very good co-parent relationship. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You're still what? We're still very good friends. Talk to them every day. Are you one of these women who divorced your husband? And then you still stay involved with it? No, not like that. Let's not go there. We're co-parent now. You said you talk with them every day. I do. Listen, that's bull crap. Oh man, this is why I'm trying to explain to you. You're not really cut out for any other man. When you divorced your husband, he should have shut the door on you and your only interaction would have been specifically regarding the children. Who has primary custody? I do. So he has visitation. Is he paying child support? Then he should not be talking to you ever other than directly, listen, other than directly relating the children. Yeah, you're still getting his non-sexual attention. He is still speaking to you as like he's in your, not in your house, but he's in your life. You're not cut out for another man. I can't think of a, no other man should even want to touch. Why don't you just go apologize and go ask your husband to take you back? We are, we are dissident. No, no, no. Why don't you go apologize and ask your husband to take you back? I have done that. Listen to your show about the Toronto Seven and I will have a bottle of glass and it makes it more. But that was not the question you asked. You asked about going on to another man. I can rewind and take. That's what you call an ass. You didn't say, how can I make it better? Then I asked what you did in my question because that's more of what I want. But that's not what you. I agree. I didn't ask that question properly. No, man. You didn't ask the question properly. That ain't what you even asked. You asked about it. I agree. Ladies, what I need you guys to understand is this what men are dealing with. You hear about how bad black men are. How they ain't taking care of their kids. How they doing all this other stuff. Your husband was black, right? Yes, sir. So your high school sweetheart, did he cheat on you or anything? Or did you cheat on him? No. So how, what age did you, what age did you guys get together in high school? Sing a year. So a man has been with you since she was 18 and you took him through all these changes and he's still dealing with you. We still love each other. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm going to reach through this internet and spit your ear. I said he's still dealing with you. When he, rightly, he's right. Okay, ma'am, if the world was right, what should he be? Should he still be talking to you? He doesn't have to. That's not what I asked you, ma'am. No, no, he should not be talking to me other than talking about the children. See the deception women? Exactly. He shouldn't be talking to you. So this is what you don't hear. You don't hear that black men go through this level trying to be with a black one. With their wives, with their kids. All you see is the bloody stats. You don't hear this shit that men go through. Well, sadly, I've heard this story so many times, I can predict it. That's why I knew what she was talking about when she first fucking called. Don't call me asking about getting with a man. You find a way to get on your goddamn knee pads and crawl back to your husband and act like you got some goddamn sense and you learn your lesson. You don't deserve another man. You don't deserve another bite at the apple. When you're lucky, you still got the one that's dealing with you. Thanks for that. Call me when you get your husband back. We'll see. I appreciate it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because there is no other man out here that you should be dealing with. Don't nobody else deserve this. Call me when you get your husband back because your children want that. And honestly, ma'am, it may sound a little bit harsh, but that's who you're really cut out for. Have you been... If you haven't been physically involved with another man, I know what y'all playing these games for, man. You wasted a lot of life and a lot of time and a lot of damn money. Come on, black women, I wanna hear about it. These black men ain't taking care of their kids. They don't wanna be married. They don't wanna do this. They don't wanna do that. Yeah, right.