 So you've read all the articles and watched all those clips, and yet you still don't quite match up to the introvert label. You notice that despite enjoying social interaction and not feeling drained by them, you have a difficult time steering it in the right direction. If that's so, you may not be truly introverted. Just a bit socially awkward. Let's look at some signs that this may be the case. Number one, your social avoidance is from fear of failure, not because it's draining. Do you really want to talk and interact but fear of embarrassing yourself or an imagined worst-case scenario just stops you cold? It's the difference between fear and frugal with energy. You have the energy to spare, but you're scared to give it out. Introverts are more than able to relax and enjoy social settings. They differ from extroverts because they need a long time to recharge. They differ from them merely socially awkward in that they're not necessarily afraid. It's more like they have limited currency and they're deciding where they can afford to spend it. Being socially awkward isn't even restricted to introverts. Extroverts get it, too. Being extroverted isn't an automatic swath of James Bond 007 ticket. Number two, you're anxious and uncomfortable in social situations. In a social situation, do you feel like you can't quite get enough air? And maybe like the walls are closing in, even when there aren't any walls? And darn it, why is everyone staring at you? And hey, when that person said a nice shirt, what did they mean? Darn it. Anxiety decided to be your plus one again. So how is this different from introverts? Well, although introverts don't tend to enjoy large groups, their typical reaction isn't panicky suffocation either. If they're in a group of people that are in their personal worth the spending category, they aren't anxious at all. Although, as before, ye olde batteries still needs quiet recharging afterwards. Social awkwardness just happens regardless of who it is. Socially awkward people have a mind that makes them believe they're being judged by everyone all the time, making them tense and possibly defensive. Number three, you find it difficult to make conversations with others. Maybe you have a whole lot in your head, but you can't spit it out. The thought of conversation is mildly terrifying, and you find that when you do try to converse, it feels disjointed, like a choppy, poorly cut movie. See, introverts may present as reserved or quiet, as they're more attuned to reflecting and observing. However, when needed, they can have a perfectly flowing conversation. Their natural quietness doesn't stop their ability to perform or interview well. Socially awkward people, on the other hand, find it excruciatingly difficult to make small talk or new talk in any situation. The tension they experience often has them forget how to connect ideas verbally, and what comes out is not what they wanted. Sometimes, the struggle makes them cringe so hard, they just avoid it all together. So, the quiet is fear of struggle, not one of contemplation. Number four, you're not as verbally articulate as you'd like. This is directly connected to the previous point. You frequently experience talk block. It feels like you've almost got a magical, blocking curse on your brain that stops you from finding the right words and instead makes your brain stutter. Then, to your horror, what comes out sounds to you a lot like...darp. If so, you may be socially awkward. Introverts can certainly struggle with verbal articulation, but they're more than capable of speaking eloquently when they need to, especially if the topic is about something that they're well versed in. Socially awkward people often find it harder to articulate because it's difficult for them to intake, prioritize, and organize all the external stimuli. Like the other person's nonverbal cues, how they themselves sound, and then how to respond to all of that. This inability to filter and organize allows them to become overwhelmed, so they kind of blue screen. Number five, alone time makes you feel more lonely. Here's a big one. Introverts need that alone time, as that's when the battery charger actually works. The socially awkward, though, finds that this alone time can make them feel, well, more alone. Introverts see alone time as sort of a reward. Yes, peace, I can finally just reflect on things, I can finally binge watch the Witcher without interruption. The socially awkward can enjoy it sometimes, but not always. Sometimes it's a relief after being overwhelmed, but sometimes it's just a reminder that they were excluded or otherwise didn't choose to be alone. And number six, you have twitches. No, this doesn't mean you're about to lose control like some movie comic book villain. We mean body tells, you know, like in poker. Think if you've ever caught yourself doing quick repetitive movements, such as drilling your hair or bouncing a leg. The socially awkward do these fidgeting, twitching, physical tells when they're placed in an uncomfortable situation. And certainly introverts and extroverts alike with social awkwardness may also have these dilemmas. It has to be taken as a whole, though, because not all introverts are socially awkward. So did you relate to any of the signs above? Did any of this help you figure out something that has been bugging you for a while? Social awkwardness is something that can affect many of us and isn't always consistent. Those of us who experience it more frequently may find hope in that much of social awkwardness can be dealt with through learning more about yourself and practice being social. Feel free to share and discuss below and we'll catch you next time.