 CHAPTER 1 She did not look very much as if she were asleep, nor acted as though she expected to get a chance to be very soon. There was no end to the things which she had to do, for the kitchen was long and wide, and took many steps to set it in order, and it was drawing toward tea-time of a Tuesday evening, and there were fifteen borders who were, most of them, punctual to a minute. Sadie, the next oldest sister, was still at the academy, as also were Alfred and Julia, while little Minnie, the pet and darling, most certainly was not. She was around in the way, putting little fingers into every possible place where little fingers ought not to be. It was well for her that, no matter how warm and vexed and out of order Esther might be, she never reached the point in which her voice could take other than a loving tone in speaking to Minnie. For Minnie, besides being a precious little blessing in herself, was the child of Esther's oldest sister, whose home was far away in a western graveyard, and the little girl had been with them since her early babyhood three years before. So Esther hurried to and from the pantry, with quick nervous movements, as the sun went toward the west, saying to Maggie, who is ironing with all possible speed, �Maggie, do hurry, and get ready to help me, or I shall never have tea ready� saying it in a sharp, fretful tone, then, �No, no, Bertie, don�t touch� in quite a different tone to Minnie, who laid loving hands on a box of raisins. �I am hurrying as fast as I can,� Maggie made answer, �but such an ironing as I have every week can�t be finished in a minute. �Well, well, don�t talk, that won�t hurry matters any.� Sadie Reed opened the door that led from the dining-room to the kitchen, and peeped in a thoughtless young head covered with bright brown curls. �How are you, Esther?� And she emerged fully into the great warm kitchen, looking like a bright flower picked from the garden, and put out of place. Her pink gingham dress and white ruffled apron, yes, in the very school books which she swung by their strap, waking a smothered sigh in Esther�s heart. �Oh, my patience� was her greeting. �Are you home?� Then school is out. �I guess it is� said Sadie. �We�d been down to the river since school. �Sadie, won�t you come and cut the beef and cake and make the tea? I did not know it was so late, and I�m nearly tired to death.� Sadie looked sober. �I wouldn�t in a minute, Esther, only I�ve brought Florence Bain home with me, and I should not know what to do with her in the meantime. Besides, Mr. Hammond said he would show me about my algebra if I�d go out on the piazza this minute. �Well, go, then, and tell Mr. Hammond to wait for his tea until he gets it,� Esther answered crossly. �Here, Julia, to the ten-year-old newcomer. Go away from that raisin box this minute. Go upstairs, out of my way, and Alfred, too. Sadie, take Mini with you. I can�t have her here another instant. You can afford to do that much, perhaps.� �Oh, Esther, your cross,� said Sadie, in a good-humored tone, coming forward after the little girl. �Come, birdie, auntie Essie�s cross, isn�t she? Come with Aunt Sadie. Let�s go to the piazza and make Mr. Hammond tell us a story.� And Mini, Esther�s darling, who never received other than loving words from her, went gleefully off, leaving another heartburn to the weary girl. They stung her those words. �Mr. Essie�s cross, isn�t she? Back and forth, from dining-room to pantry, from pantry to dining-room, went the quick feet. At last she spoke, �Maggie, leave the ironing and help me. It is time tea was ready.� �I�m just ironing Mr. Holland�s shirt,� objected Maggie. �Well, I don�t care if Mr. Holland never has another shirt ironed. I want you to go to the spring for water and fill the table-pitchers, and do a dozen other things.� The hall-clock in the dining-room struck five, and the dining-bell peeled out its prompt summons through the house. The family gathered promptly and noisily, schoolgirls, half a dozen or more, Mr. Hammond, the principal of the academy, Ms. Moulton, the preceptress, Mrs. Brookley, the music teacher, and Dr. Van Anden, the new physician, Mr. and Mrs. Holland and Mr. Arnett, Mr. Holland�s clerk. It was a moment�s hush while Mr. Hammond asked a blessing on the food. Then the merry talk went on. For them all Maggie poured cups of tea and asked her past bread and butter and beef and cheese, and Sadie gave overflowing dishes of blackberries and chattered like a magpie, which last she did everywhere and always. �This has been one of the scorching days,� Mr. Holland said. �It was as much as I could do to keep cool in the store, and we generally are well off for a breeze there.� �It was more than I could do to keep cool anywhere,� Mrs. Holland answered. �I gave it up long ago in despair.� Esther's lip curled a little. Mrs. Holland had nothing in the world to do from morning until night but to keep herself cool. She wondered what the lady would have said to the glowing kitchen where she had passed most of the day. �Miss Esther looks as though the heat had been too much for her cheeks,� Mrs. Berkeley said, laughing. �What have you been doing?� �Something besides keeping cool,� Esther answered soberly. �Which is a difficult thing to do, however,� Dr. Van Anden said, speaking soberly, too. �I don't know, sir, if I had nothing to do but that, I think I could manage it. �I have found trouble sometimes in keeping myself at the right temperature, even in January.� Esther's cheeks glowed yet more. She understood Dr. Van Anden and she knew her face did not look very self-controlled. No one knows what prompted Minnie to speak just then. Aunt Sadie said Auntie Essie was cross. Were you Auntie Essie? The household laughed and Sadie came to the rescue. �Why, Minnie, you must not tell what Aunt Sadie says. It was just as sure to be nonsense as it is that you are a chatterbox.� Esther thought that they would never all finish their supper and depart. But the latest comer strolled away at last, and she hurried to toast a slice of bread, make a fresh cup of tea, and send Julia after Mrs. Reed. Sadie hovered around the pale, sad-faced woman while she ate. �Are you truly better, mother? I've been worried half to pieces about you all day.� �Oh, yes, I'm better. Esther, you look dreadfully tired. Have you much more to do? Only to trim the lamps and make three beds that I had not time for this morning, and get things ready for breakfast, and finish Sadie's dress. Can't Maggie do any of these things? Maggie is ironing. Mrs. Reed sighed. �It's a good thing that I don't have the sick headache very often,� she said sadly, �or you would soon wear yourself out. Sadie, are you going to the Lyceum tonight? Yes, ma'am, your worthy daughter has the honor of being an editress, you know, tonight. Esther, can't you go down? Never mind that dress. Let it go to Guinea.� �You wouldn't think so by tomorrow evening,� Esther said shortly. �No, I can't go.� The work was all done at last, and Esther betook herself to her room. How tired she was! Every nerve seemed to quiver with weariness. It was a pleasant little room, this one which she entered, with its low windows looking out toward the river, and its cozy furniture all neatly arranged by Sadie's tasteful fingers. Esther seated herself by the open window and looked down on the group who lingered on the piazza below, looked down on them with her eyes and with her heart, yet envied while she looked, envied their free and easy life without a care to harass them, so she thought. Invited Sadie, her daily attendance at the academy, a matter which she so early in life had been obliged to have done with, envied Mrs. Holland, the very ribbons and laces which fluttered in the evening air. It had grown cooler now, a strong breeze blew up from the river and freshened the air, and as they sat below there enjoying it, the sound of their gay voices came up to her. �What do they know about heat or care or trouble?� she said scornfully, thinking over all the weight of her eighteen years of life. She hated it, this life of hers, just hated it. The sweeping, dusting, making beds, trimming lamps, working from morning till night. No time for reading or study your pleasure. Sadie had said she was cross, and Sadie had told the truth. She was cross most of the time, fretted with her everyday petty cares and fatigues. �Oh!� she said over and over, �if something would only happen, if I could have one day, just one day, different from the others. But no, it's the same old thing, sweep and dust and clear up and eat and sleep. I hate it all!� Yet had Esther nothing for which to be thankful that the group on the piazza had not? If she had but thought she had a robe and a crown and a harp and a place waiting for her up before the throne of God, and all they had not? Esther did not think of this so much asleep was she that she did not even know that none of those gay hearts down there below her had been given up to Christ. Not one of them, for the academy teachers and Dr. Van Anden were not among them. �Oh!� Esther was asleep. She went to church on the Sabbath and to preparatory lecture on a weekday. She read a few verses of her Bible frequently, not every day. She knelt at her bedside every night and said a few words of prayer, and this was all. She lay at night side by side with a young sister who had no claim to a home in heaven, and never spoke to her of Jesus. She worked daily side by side with a mother who, through many trials and discouragement, was living a Christian life, and never talked with her of their future rest. She met daily, sometimes almost hourly, a large household, and never so much as thought of asking them if they, too, were going, some day, home to God. She helped her young brother and sister with their geography lessons, and never mentioned to them the heavenly country whither they themselves might journey. She took the darling of the family, often in her arms, and told her stories of bow-peep and babes in the wood and robin-red breast, and never one of Jesus and his call to the tender lambs. This was Esther, and this was Esther's home. End of chapter 1, Recording by Tricia G. Chapter 2 of Esther Read This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Esther Read by Pansy, Chapter 2 What Sadie Thought Sadie Read was the merriest, most thoughtless young creature of sixteen years that ever brightened and bothered a home. Free from morning until night was scarcely ever a pause in her constant flow of fun, thoughtless nearly always selfish, too, as the constantly thoughtless always are, not sullenly or crossly selfish by any means, only so used to think of self, so taught to consider herself utterly useless as regarded home and home cares and duties, that she opened her bright brown eyes in wonder whenever she was called upon for help. It was a very bright and very busy Saturday morning. Sadie, Mrs. Read called, can't you come and wash up these baking dishes? Maggie is mopping, and Esther has her hands full with the cake. Yes, ma'am, said Sadie, appearing promptly from the dining room, with many perched triumphantly on her shoulder. Here I am at your service. Where are they? Esther glanced up. I'd go and put on my white dress first if I were you, she said significantly. And Sadie looked down on her pink gingham, ruffled apron, shining cuffs, and laughed. Oh, I'll take off my cuffs and put on this distressingly big apron of yours, which hangs behind the door. Then I'll do. That's my clean apron. I don't wash dishes in it. Oh, bless your careful heart. I won't hurt it the least speck in the world, will I, Bertie? And she proceeded to wrap her tiny self in the long wide apron. Not that pan, child, exclaimed her mother, that's a milk pan. Oh, said Sadie, I thought it was pretty shiny. My, what a great pan. Don't you come near me, Bertie, or you'll tumble in and drown yourself before I could fish you out with the dishcloth. Where is that article? Esther, it needs a patch on it. There is a great hole in the middle, and it twists every way. Touch it, then, said Esther, dryly. Well, now I'm ready, here goes. Did you want these washed? And she seized upon a stack of tins which stood on Esther's table. Do let things alone, said Esther. Those are my baking tins ready for use. Now you've got them wet, and I shall have to go all over them again. How will you go, Esther, on foot? They look pretty greasy. You'll slip. I wish you would go upstairs. I'd rather wash dishes all the four noon than have you in the way. Bertie, said Sadie gravely, you and I mustn't go near Auntie Yesie again. She's a bow-wow, and I'm afraid she'll bite. Mrs. Reed laughed. She had no idea how sharply Esther had been tried with petty vexations all that morning, nor how bitter those words sounded to her. Come, Sadie, she said, what a silly child you are. Can't you do anything soberly? I should think I might, ma'am, when I have such a sober and solemn employment on hand as dishwashing. Does it require a great deal of gravity, mother? Here, Robin Redbreast, keep your beak out of my dishpan. Mini in the meantime had been seated on the table directly in front of the dishpan. Mrs. Reed looked around. Oh, Sadie, what possessed you to put her up there? To keep her out of mischief, mother, she's Jack Horner's little sister and would have had every plum in your pie down her throat by this time if she could have got to them. See here, Pussy, if you don't keep your feet still, I'll tie them fast to the pan with this long towel, then you'll have to go around all the days of your life with the dishpan clattering after you. But Mini was bent on a frolic. This time the tiny feet kicked a little too hard, and the pan being drawn too near the edge in order to be out of her reach lost its balance. Over it went. Oh, my patience screamed Sadie as the water splashed over her, even down to the white stockings and daintily slippered feet. Mini lifted up her voice and added to the general uproar. Esther left the egg she was beating and picked up broken dishes. Mrs. Reed's voice arose above the din. Sadie, take Mini and go upstairs. You're too full of play to be in the kitchen. Mother, I'm real sorry, said Sadie, shaking herself out of the great wet apron, laughing even then at the plight she was in. Pet, don't cry. We didn't drown after all. Well, Miss Sadie, Mr. Hammond said as he met them in the hall. What have you been up to now? Why, Mr. Hammond, there's been another deluge this time of dishwater, and Birdie and I are escaping with our lives. If there is one class of people in this world more disagreeable than all the rest, it is people who call themselves Christians. This remark Mr. Harry Arnett made that same Saturday evening as he stood on the piazza waiting for Mrs. Holland's letters, and he made it to Sadie Reed. Why, Harry, she answered in a shocked tone. It's a fact, Sadie. You just think a bit and you'll see it is. They are no better nor pleasanter than other people, and all the while they think they're about right. What has put you into that state of mind, Harry? Oh, some things which happened at the store today suggested this matter to me. Never mind that part, isn't it so? There's my mother, Sadie said thoughtfully, she is good. Not because she's a Christian, though, it's because she's your mother. You'd have to look till you were great to find a better mother than I've got, and she isn't a Christian either. Well, I'm sure Mr. Hammond is a good man. Not a witt better or pleasanter than Mr. Holland as far as I can see. I don't like him half so well, and Holland don't pretend to be any better than the rest of us. Well, Sadie said gleefully, I don't know many good people. Miss Molten is a Christian, but I guess she is no better than Mrs. Brookley, and she isn't. There's Esther, she's a member of the church. And do you see as she gets on any better with her religion than you do without it? For my part, I think you are considerably pleasanter to deal with. Sadie laughed, we're no more alike than a bee and a butterfly or any other useless little thing, she said brightly. But you're very much mistaken if you think I'm the best. Mother would lie down in despair and die, and this house would come to not at once if it were not for Esther. Mr. Arnett shrugged his shoulders. I always liked butterflies better than bees, he said. Bees sting. Harry said Sadie, speaking more gravely, I'm afraid you're almost an infidel. If I'm not, I can tell you one thing, it's not the fault of Christians. Mrs. Holland tossed her letters down to him from the piazza above, and Mr. Arnett went away. Florence Vane came over from the cottage across the way, came with slow, feeble steps, and sat down in the door beside her friend. Presently, Esther came out to them. Sadie, can't you go to the office for me? I forgot to send this letter with the rest. Yes, said Sadie, that is, if you think you can go that little bit, Florence. I shall think for her, Dr. Van Anden said, coming down the stairs. Florence out here tonight with the dew falling, and not even anything to protect your head. I am surprised. Oh, doctor, do let me enjoy this soft air for a few minutes. Positively, no. Either come in the house or go home directly. You are very imprudent. Miss Esther, I'll mail your letters for you. What does Dr. Van Anden want to act like a simpleton about Florence Vane for? Esther asked this question late in the evening, when the sisters were alone in their room. Sadie paused in her merry chatter. Why, Esther, what do you mean? About her being out tonight? Why, you know, she ought to be very careful, and I'm afraid she isn't. The doctor told her father this morning he was afraid she would not live through the season, unless she was more careful. Fudge, said Esther. He thinks he is a wise man. He wants to make her out very sick, so that he may have the honor of helping her. I don't see if she looks any worse than she did a year ago. Sadie turned slowly around toward her sister. Esther, I don't know what is the matter with you tonight. You know that Florence Vane has the consumption, and you know that she is my dear friend. Esther did not know what was the matter with herself, save that this had been the hardest day from first to last that she had ever known, and she was rasped until there was no good feeling left in her heart to touch. Little Minnie had given her the last hardening touch of the day by explaining that she was being hugged and kissed with eager passionate kisses. Oh, Auntie Essie, you've cried tears on my white apron and put out all the starch. Esther set her down hastily and went away. Certainly Esther was cross and miserable. Dr. Van Anden was one of her thorns. He crossed her path quite often, either with close searching words about self-control or grave silence. She disliked him. Sadie, as from her pillow she watched her sister in the moonlight kneel down hastily and knew that she was repeating a few words of prayer, thought of Mr. Arnett's words spoken that evening, and with her heart throbbing still under the sharp tones concerning Florence sighed a little and said within herself, I should not wonder if Harry were right, and Esther was so much asleep that she did not know, at least did not realize, that she had dishonored her master all that day. End of Chapter 2. Recording by Tricia G. Chapter 3 of Esther Read. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Esther Read by Pansy. Chapter 3. Florence Vane. Of the same opinion concerning Florence was Esther, a few weeks later, when one evening as she was hurrying past him, Dr. Van Anden detained her. I want to see you a moment, Miss Esther. During these weeks Esther had been roused. Sadie was sick, had been sick enough to awaken many anxious fears, sick enough for Esther to discover what a desolate house theirs would have been, supposing her merry music had been hushed forever. She discovered, too, how very much she loved her bright young sister. She had been very kind and attentive, but the fever was gone now, and Sadie was well enough to rove around the house again, and Esther began to think that it couldn't be so very hard to have loving hands ministering to one's simplest want to be cared for and watched over and petted every hour of the day. She was returning to her impatient, irritable life. She forgot how high the fever had been at night, and how the young head had ached, and only remembered how thoroughly tired she was watching and ministering day and night. So when she followed Dr. Van Anden to the sitting-room, in answer to his, I want to see you, Miss Esther, it was a very sober, not altogether pleasant face which listened to his words. Miss Vane is very sick tonight. Someone should be with her besides the housekeeper. I thought of you. Will you watch with her? If any reasonable excuse could have been found, Esther would surely have said no, so foolish did this seem to her. Why, only yesterday she had seen Florence sitting beside the open window looking very well, but then she was Sadie's friend, and it had been more than two weeks since Sadie had needed watching with at night, so Esther could not plead fatigue. I suppose so, she answered slowly to the waiting doctor, hearing which he wheeled and left her, turning back, though, to say, Do not mention this to Sadie in her present state of body. I don't care to have her excited. Very careful you are of everybody, muttered Esther, as he hastened away. Tell her what, I wonder, that you are making much a do about nothing for the sake of showing your astonishing skill. In precisely this state of mind, she went, a few hours later, over to the cottage, into the quiet room where Florence lay asleep, and for odd she could see sleeping as quietly as young, fresh life ever did. What do you think of her, whispered the old lady who acted as housekeeper, nurse, and mother to the orphaned Florence? I think I haven't seen her look better this great while, Esther answered abruptly. Well, I can't say if she looks any worse to me, either, but Dr. Van Anden is in a fidget, and I suppose he knows what he's about. The doctor came in at eleven o'clock, stood for a moment by the bedside, glanced at the old lady, who was dozing in her rocking chair, then came over to Esther and spoke low. I can't trust this nurse. She has been broken of her rest and is weary. I want you to keep awake. If she, nodding towards Florence, stirs, give her a spoonful of that tumbler on the stand. I shall be back at twelve. If she awakens, you may call her father and send John for me. He's in the kitchen. I shall be around the corner at Vinten's. Then he went away, softly, as he had come. The lamp burned low over by the window. The nurse slept in her armchair, and Esther sat with wide open eyes fixed on Florence. And all this time she thought that the doctor was engaged in getting up a scene, the story of which should go forth next day in honor of his skill and faithfulness. Yet having come to watch, she could not sleep at her post, even though she believed in her heart that, were she sleeping by Sadie's side and the doctor quiet in his own room, all would go on well until the morning. But the doctor's evident anxiety had driven sleep from the eyes of the gray-haired old man, whose one darling lay quiet on the bed. He came in very soon after the doctor had departed. I can't sleep, he said, in explanation to Esther. Some way I feel worried. Does she seem worse to you? Not a bit, Esther said promptly. I think she looks better than usual. Yes, Mr. Vane answered, in an encouraged tone. And she has been quite bright all day, but the doctor is all down about her. He won't say a single cheering word. Esther's indignation grew upon her. He might at least have let this old man sleep in peace, she said sharply in her heart. At twelve precisely the doctor returned. He went directly to the bedside. How has she been, he asked of Esther in passing? Just as she is now, Esther's voice was not only dry but sarcastic. Mr. Vane scanned the doctor's face eagerly, but it was grave and sad, quiet range in the room. The two men at Florence's side neither spoke nor stirred. Esther kept her seat across from them and grew every moment more sure that she was right and more provoked. Suddenly the silence was broken. Dr. Van Anden bent low over the sleeper and spoke in a gentle anxious tone. Florence! But she neither stirred nor heeded. He spoke again, Florence! And the blue eyes unclosed slowly and wearily. The doctor drew back quickly and motioned her father forward. Speak to her, Mr. Vane. Florence, my darling, the old man said, with inexpressible love and tenderness sounding in his voice. His very young daughter turned her eyes on him, but the words she spoke were not of him or of ought around her. So clear and sweet they sounded that Esther, sitting quite across the room from her, heard them distinctly. I saw mother and I saw my savior. Dr. Van Anden sank upon his knees as the drooping lids closed again and his voice was low and tremulous. Father, into thy hands we commit this spirit. Thy will be done. In a moment more all was bustle in confusion. The nurse was thoroughly awakened. The doctor cared for the poor childless father with the tenderness of a son, then came back to send John for help and to give directions concerning what was to be done. Through it all Esther sat motionless, petrified with solemn astonishment. Then the angel of death had really been there in that very room and she had been so wise in her own conceit that she did not know it until he had departed with the freed spirit. Florence really was sick, then, dangerously sick. The doctor had not deceived them, had not magnified the trouble as she supposed, but it could not be that she was dead. Dead? Why, only a few minutes ago, she was sleeping so quietly. While she was very quiet now, could the heart have ceased its beating? Sadie's Florence dead, poor Sadie, what would they say to her? How could they tell her? Sitting there Esther had some of the most solemn, self-reproachful thoughts that she had ever known. God's angel had been present in that room, and in what a spirit had he found this watcher? Dr. Van Anden went quietly, promptly, from room to room until everything in the suddenly stricken household was as it should be. Then he came to Esther. I will go over home with you now, he said, speaking low and kindly. He seemed to understand just how shocked she felt. They went in the night and darkness across the street, saying nothing. As the doctor applied his key to the door, Esther spoke in low, distressed tones. Dr. Van Anden, I did not think, I did not dream. Then she stopped. I know, he said kindly, it was unexpected. I thought she would linger until morning, perhaps through the day. Indeed I was so sure that I ventured to keep my worst fears from Mr. Vane. I wanted him to rest tonight. I am sorry, it would have been better to have prepared him, but at even or at midnight or at the cot crowing or in the morning, you see we do not know which. I thank God that to Florence it did not matter. Those days which followed were days of great opportunity to Esther if she had but known how to use them. Sadies, sad, softened heart, into which grief had entered, might have been turned by a few kind, skillful words from thoughts of Florence to Florence's savior. Esther did try. She was kinder, more gentle with the young sister than was her want to be, and once when Sadie was lingering fondly over memories of her friend, she said in an awkward blundering way something about Florence having been prepared to die and hoping that Sadie would follow her example. Sadie looked surprised, but answered gravely. I never expect to be like Florence. She was perfect, or at least I'm sure I could never see anything about her that wasn't perfection. You know, Esther, she never did anything wrong. And Esther, unused to it, and confused with her own attempt, kept silence and let poor Sadie rest upon the thought that it was Florence's goodness which made her ready to die instead of the blood of Jesus. So the time passed, the grass grew green over Florence's grave, and Sadie missed her indeed. Yet the serious thoughts grew daily fainter, and Esther's golden opportunity for leading her to Christ was lost. End of Chapter 3. Recording by Tricia G. Chapter 4 of Esther Read. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Esther Read by Pansy. Chapter 4. The Sunday Lesson. Alfred and Julia Read were in the sitting room studying their Sabbath school lessons. Those two were generally to be found together, being twins they had commenced life together, and had thus far gone side by side. It was a quiet October Sabbath afternoon. The twins had a great deal of business on hand during the week, and the Sabbath school lesson used to stand a fair chance of being forgotten. So Mrs. Read had made a law that half an hour of every Sabbath afternoon should be spent in studying the lesson for the coming Sabbath. Esther sat in the same room by the window. She had been reading, but her book had fallen idly in her lap, and she seemed lost in thought. Sadie too was there, carrying on a whispered conversation with Minnie, who was snuggled close in her arms, and merry bursts of laughter came every few minutes from the little girl. The idea of Sadie keeping quiet herself, or of keeping anybody else quiet, was simply absurd. But I say to you that ye resist not evil, but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Read Julia slowly and thoughtfully. Alfred, what do you suppose that can mean? I don't know, I'm sure, Alfred said. The next one is just as queer. And if any man shall sue thee at the law and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. I'd like to see me doing that. I'd fight for it, I reckon. Oh, Alfred, you wouldn't if the Bible said you mustn't, would you? I don't suppose this means us at all, said Alfred, using unconsciously the well-known argument of all who have tried to slip away from the gospel teaching since Adam's time. I suppose it's talking to those wicked old fellows who lived before the flood or some such time. Well, anyhow, said Julia, I should like to know what it all means. I wish mother would come home. I wonder how Mrs. Vincent is. Do you suppose she will die, Alfred? I don't know. Just hear this, Julia. But I say unto you, love your enemies. Bless them that curse you. Do good to them that hate you and pray for them, which despitefully use you and persecute you. Wouldn't you like to see anybody who did all that? Sadie, said Julia, rising suddenly and moving over to where the frolic was going on. Won't you tell us about our lesson? We don't understand a bit about it, and I can't learn anything that I don't understand. Bless your heart, child. I suspect you know more about the Bible this minute than I do. Mother was too busy taking care of you two when I was a little chicken to teach me as she has you. Well, what can that mean if a man strikes you on one cheek, let him strike the other two? Yes, said Alfred, chiming in. And if anybody takes your coat away, let him have your cloak, too. I suppose it means just that, said Sadie. If anybody steals your mittens, as that bush girl did yours last winter, Julia, you are to take your hood right off and give it to her. Oh, Sadie, you don't ever mean that. And then continued Sadie gravely. If that shouldn't satisfy her, you had better take off your shoes and stockings and give her them. Sadie, said Esther, how can you teach those children such nonsense? She isn't teaching me anything, interrupted Alfred. I guess I ain't such a dunce as to swallow all that stuff. Well, Sadie said meekly, I'm sure I'm doing the best I can, and you are all finding fault. I have explained to the best of my abilities, Julia. I'll tell you the truth. And for a moment, her laughing face grew sober. I don't know the least thing about it. Don't pretend to. Why don't you ask Esther? She can tell you more about the Bible in a minute, I presume, than I could in a year. Esther laid her book on the window. Julia, bring your Bible here, she said gravely. Now, what is the matter? I never heard you make such a commotion over your lesson. Mother always explains it, said Alfred. And she hasn't got back from Mrs. Vincent's. And I don't believe anyone else in this house can do it. Alfred, said Esther, don't be impertinent. Julia, what is it that you want to know? About the man being struck on one cheek, how he must let them strike the other two, what does it mean? It means just that. When girls are cross and ugly to you, you must be good and kind to them. And when a boy knocks down another, he must forgive him instead of getting angry and knocking back. Ho, said Alfred contemptuously, I never saw a boy yet who would do it. That only proves that boys are naughty, quarrel some fellows who don't obey what the Bible teaches. But Esther, interrupted Julia anxiously, was that true what Sadie said about me giving my shoes and stockings in my hood to folks who stole something from me? Of course not, Sadie shouldn't talk such nonsense to you. That is about men going to law. Mother will explain it when she goes over the lesson with you. Julia was only half satisfied. What does that verse mean about doing good to them that here I'll read it, said Alfred? But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. Why, that is plain enough. It means just what it says. When people are ugly to you and act as though they hated you, you must be very good and kind to them and pray for them and love them. Esther, does God really mean for us to love people who are ugly to us and be good to them? Of course. Well then, why don't we if God says so? Esther, why don't you? That's the point, exclaimed Sadie in her most roguish tone. I'm glad you've made the application, Julia. Now Esther's heart had been softening under the influence of these peaceful Bible words. She believed them and in her heart was a real earnest desire to teach her brother and sister Bible truths. Left alone, she would have explained that those who loved Jesus were struggling in a weak feeble way to obey these directions, that she herself was trying, trying hard sometimes, that they ought to. But there was this against Esther. Her whole life was so at variance with those plain searching Bible rules that the youngest child could not but see it. And Sadie's mischievous tones and evident relish of her embarrassment at Julia's question destroyed the self-searching thoughts. She answered with severe dignity. Sadie, if I were you, I wouldn't try to make the children as irreverent as I was myself. Then she went dignifiedly from the room. Dr. Van Anden paused for a moment before Sadie as she sat alone in the sitting room that same Sabbath evening. Sadie said he, is there one verse in the Bible which you have never read? Plenty of them, doctor. I commenced reading the Bible through once, but I stopped at some chapter in Numbers, the 30th, I think it is, isn't it? Or somewhere along there where all those hard names are, you know. But why do you ask? The doctor opened a large Bible which lay on the stand before them and read aloud. He have perverted the words of the living God. Sadie looked puzzled. Now, doctor, whatever possessed you to think that I had never read that verse? God counts that a solemn thing, Sadie. Very likely, what then? I was reading on the piazza when the children came to you for an explanation of their lesson. Sadie laughed. Did you hear that conversation, doctor? I hope you were benefited. Then more gravely. Dr. Van Anden, do you really mean me to think that I was perverting scripture? I certainly think so, Sadie. Were you not giving the children wrong ideas concerning the teachings of our Savior? Sadie was quite sober now. I told the truth at last, doctor. I don't know anything about these matters. People who profess to be Christians do not live according to our Savior's teaching. At least I don't see any who do. And it sometimes seems to me that those verses which the children were studying cannot mean what they say, or Christian people would surely try to follow them. For an answer, Dr. Van Anden turned the Bible leaves again and pointed with his finger to this verse, which Sadie read, but as he which has called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation. After that, he went out of the room, and Sadie, reading the verse over again, could not but understand that she might have a perfect pattern if she would. End of Chapter 4, Recording by Tricia G. Chapter 5 of Esther Read. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Esther Read by Pansy. Chapter 5 The Poor Little Fish Mother said Sadie, appearing in the dining-room one morning, holding Julia by the hand, did you ever hear of the fish who fell out of the frying pan into the fire? Which questioned her mother answered by asking, without turning her eyes from the great batch of bread which she was molding, what mischief are you up to now, Sadie? Why nothing, said Sadie, only here is the very fish so renowned in ancient history, and I have brought her for your inspection. This answer brought Mrs. Read's eyes around from the dough and fixed them upon Julia, and she said as soon as she caught a glimpse of the forlorn little maiden, oh, my, patience! A specimen requiring great patience from anyone coming in contact with her was the same Julia. The pretty blue dress and white apron were covered with great patches of mud. Morocco boots and neat white stockings were in the same direful plight, and down her face the salt and muddy tears were running for her handkerchief was also streaked with mud. I should think so, laughed Sadie, in answer to her mother's exclamation. The history of the poor little fish in brief is this. She started immaculate in white apron, white stockings, and the like for the post office with Esther's letter. She met with temptation in the shape of a little girl with paper dolls, and while admiring them, the letter had the meanness to slip out of her hand into the mud. That, you understand, was the frying pan. Much horrified with this state of things, the two wise young heads were put together, and the brilliant idea conceived of giving the muddy letter a thorough washing in the creek. So to the creek they went, and while they stood ankle deep in the mud, vigorously carrying their idea into effect, the vicious little thing hopped out of Julia's hand and sailed merely away downstream. So there she was, out of the frying pan into the fire, sure enough, and the letter has sailed for uncle Ralph's by a different Ralph than that which is usually taken. Sadie's nonsense was interrupted at this point by Esther, who had listened with darkening face to the rapidly told story. She ought to be thoroughly whipped, the careless little goose. Mother, if you don't punish her now, I never would again. Then Julia's tearful sorrow blazed into sudden anger. I oughtn't to be whipped, you're an ugly mean sister to say so. I tumbled down and hurt my arm dreadfully trying to catch your old hateful letter, and you're just as mean as you can be. Between tears and loud tones and Sadie's laughter, Julia had managed to burst forth these angry sentences before her mother's voice reached her. When it did, she was silenced. Julia, I am astonished! Is that the way to speak to your sister? Go on up to my room directly, and when you have put on dry clothes, sit down there, and stay until you are ready to tell Esther that you are sorry and ask her to forgive you. Really, mother, Sadie said, as the little girl went stamping up the stairs, her face buried in her muddy handkerchief, I'm not sure but that you have made a mistake, and Esther is the one to be sent to her room until she can behave better. I don't pretend to be good myself, but I must say it seems ridiculous to speak in the way she did to a sorry frightened child. I never saw a more woeful figure in my life, and Sadie laughed again at the recollection. Yes, said Esther, you uphold her in all sorts of mischief and insolence. That is the reason she's so troublesome to manage. Mrs. Reed looked distressed. Don't, Esther, she said. Don't speak in that loud, sharp tone. Sadie, you should not encourage Julia in speaking improperly to her sister. I think myself that Esther was hard with her. The poor child did not mean any harm, but she must not be rude to anybody. Oh, yes, Esther said, speaking bitterly. Of course I am the one to blame. I always am. No one in this house ever does anything wrong except me. Mrs. Reed sighed heavily, and Sadie turned away and ran upstairs, humming. Oh, would I were a buttercup, a blossom in the meadow? And Julia, in her mother's room, exchanged her wet and muddy garments for clean ones and cried, washed her face in the clear pure water until it was fresh and clean, and cried again louder and harder. Her heart was all bruised and bleeding. She had not meant to be careless. She had been carefully dressed that morning to spend the long, bright Saturday with Vesta Griswold. She had intended to go swiftly and safely to the post office with the small white treasure entrusted to her care. But those paper dolls were so pretty, and of course there was no harm in walking along with Addy and looking at them. How could she know that the hateful letter was going to tumble out of her apron pocket? Right there, too, the only place along the road where there was the least bit of mud to be seen. Then she had honestly supposed that a little clean water from the creek applied with her smooth white handkerchief could take the stains right out of the envelope, and the sun would dry it, and it would go safely to Uncle Ralph's after all. But instead of that, the hateful, hateful thing slipped right out of her hand when floating down the stream, and at this point Julia Sobs burst forth afresh. Presently she took up her broken thread of thought and went on. How very, very ugly Esther was. If she hadn't been there, her mother would have listened kindly to her story about how very sorry she was and how she meant to do just right. Then she would have forgiven her and she would have been freshly dressed in her clean blue dress instead of her pink one and would have had her happy day after all, and now she would have to spend this bright day all alone, and at this point her tears rolled down in torrents. Julia called a familiar voice under her window. Where are you? Come down and mend my sail for me, won't you? Julia went to the window and poured into Alfred's sympathetic ears the story of her grief and her wrongs. Just exactly like her was his comment on Esther's share in the tragedy. She grows crosser every day. I guess if I were you I'd let her wait a spell before I asked her forgiveness. I guess I shall, sputtered Julia. She was meaner than anything and I'd tell her so this minute if I saw her. That's all the sorry I am. So the talk went on and when Alfred was called to go get Esther a pail of water and left Julia in solitude she found her heart very much strengthened in its purpose to tire everybody out in waiting for her apology. The long, warm, busy day moved on and the overworked and wearied mother found time to toil up two flights of stairs in search of her young daughter in the hope of soothing and helping her. But Julia was in no mood to be helped. She hated to stay up there alone. She wanted to go down in the garden with Alfred. She wanted to go to the harbor and read her new book. She wanted to take a walk down by the river. She wanted her dinner exceedingly but to ask Esther's forgiveness was the one thing that she did not want to do. No, not if she stayed there alone for a week. Not if she starved, she said aloud stamping her foot and growing indignant over the thought. Alfred came as soon as his Saturday occupations would admit and held empathetic talks with the little prisoner above, admiring her pluck and assuring her that he wouldn't give in, not he. You see, I can't do it, said Julia with a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes, because it wouldn't be true. I'm not sorry and mother wouldn't have me tell a lie for anybody. So the son went toward the west and Julia at the window watched the Academy girls moving homeward from their afternoon ramble, listened to the preparations for tea which were being made among the dishes in the dining room and, having no more tears to shed, sighed wearily and wished the miserable day were quite done and she was sound asleep. Only a few moments before she had received a third visit from her mother and, turning to her, fresh from a talk with Alfred she answered her mother's question as to whether she were not now ready to ask Esther's forgiveness with quite as sober and determined a no-ma'am as she had given that day and her mother had gravely and sadly answered I am very sorry, Julia, I cannot come up here again I am too tired for that you may come to me if you wish to see me any time before seven o'clock after that you must go to your room and with this Julia had let her depart only saying as the door closed then I can be asleep before Esther comes up I am glad of that I would not look at her again today for anything and then Julia was once more summoned to the window Jewel, Alfred said with less decision in his voice than there had been before mother looked awful tired when she came downstairs just now and there was a tear rolling down her cheek there was, said Julia in a shocked and troubled tone and I guess Alfred continued she's had a time of it today Esther is too cross even to look at and they've been working pal mel all day and Minnie tumbled over the ice box and got hurt and mother held her most an hour and I guess she feels real bad about this she told Sadie she felt sorry for you silence for a little while at the window above and from the boy below then he broke forth suddenly I say Jewel hadn't you better do it after all not for Esther but there's mother you know but Alfred interrupted the truthful and puzzled Julia what can I do about it you know I'm to tell Esther that I'm sorry and that will not be true this question also troubled Alfred it did not seem to occur to those two foolish young heads that she ought to be sorry for her own angry words no matter how much in the wrong another had been so they stood with grave faces and thought about it Alfred found a way out of the mist at last see here aren't you sorry that you couldn't go to Vesta's and had to stay up there alone all day and that it bothered mother of course said Julia I'm real sorry about mother Alfred did I honestly make her cry yes you did answered Alfred earnestly I saw that tear as plain as day now you see you can tell Esther you're sorry just as well as not because if you hadn't said anything to her mother could have made it all right so of course you're sorry well said Julia slowly rather bewildered still that sounds as if it was right and yet somehow well Alfred you wait for me and I'll be down right away so it happened that a very penitent little face stood at her mother's elbow a few moments after this and Julia's voice was very earnest mother I'm so sorry I made you such a great deal of trouble today and the patient mother turned and kissed the flushed cheek and answered kindly mother will forgive you have you seen Esther my daughter no ma'am spoken more faintly but I'm going to find her right away and Esther answered the trouble little voice with a cold action speak louder than words I hope you will show how sorry you are by behaving better in the future stand out of my way is it all done up Alfred asked a moment later as she joined him on the piazza to take a last look at the beauty of this day which had opened so brightly for her yes with a relieved sigh and Alfred I never mean to be such a woman as Esther is when I grow up I wouldn't for the world I mean to be nice and good and kind Esther Sadie End of Chapter 5 Recording by Tricia G Chapter 6 of Esther Read This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Esther Read by Pansy Chapter 6 Something Happens Now the letter which had caused so much trouble in the Read family and especially in Esther's heart was, in one sense, not an ordinary letter It had been written to Esther's cousin Abbey her one intimate friend, Uncle Ralph's only daughter These two of the same age had been correspondence almost from their babyhood and yet they had never seen each other's faces To go to New York to her uncle's house to see and be with cousin Abbey had been the one great dream of Esther's heart as likely to be realized she could not help acknowledging as a journey to the moon and no more so New York was at least 500 miles away and the money necessary to carry her there seemed like a small fortune to Esther to say nothing of the endless additions to her wardrobe which would have to be made before she could account herself ready So she contented herself or perhaps it would be more truthful to say she made herself discontented with ceaseless dreams over what New York and her uncle's family and above all cousin Abbey were like and whether she would ever see them and why it had always happened that something was sure to prevent Abbey's visits to herself and whether she would like her as well if she could be with her as she did now and a hundred other confused and disconnected thoughts about the mall Esther had no idea what this miserable restless dreaming of hers was doing for her she did not see that her very desires after a better life which were sometimes strong upon her were colored with impatience and envy Cousin Abbey was a Christian and wrote her some earnest letters but to Esther it seemed a very easy matter indeed for one who was surrounded as she imagined Abbey to be by luxury and love to be a joyous eager Christian into this very letter that poor Julia had sent sailing down the stream some of her inmost feelings had been poured Don't think me devoid of all aspirations after something higher so the letter ran Dear Abbey, you in your sunny home can never imagine how wildly I long sometimes to be free from my surroundings free from petty cares and trials and vexations which I feel are eating out my very life Oh, to be free for one hour to feel myself at liberty for just one day to follow my own tastes and inclinations to be the person I believe God designed me to be to fill the niche I believe He designed me to fill Abbey, I hate my life I have not a happy moment it is all rasped and warped and unlovely I am nothing and I know it and I had rather for my own comfort be like most of those who surround me nothing and not know it sometimes I cannot help asking myself why I was made as I am why can't I be a clawed, a plodder and drag my way with stupid good nature through this miserable world instead of chafing and bruising myself at every step Now it would be very natural to suppose that a young lady with a grain of sense left in her brains, wood in cooler moments have been rather glad than otherwise to have such a restless, unhappy, un-Christian-like letter hopelessly lost but Esther felt, as has been seen thoroughly angry that so much lofty sentiment which she mistook for religion was entirely lost yet let it not be supposed that one word of this rebellious outbreak was written simply for effect Esther, when she wrote she hated her life was thoroughly and miserably in earnest when, in the solitude of her own room she paced her floor that evening and murmured despairingly oh, if something would only happen to rest me for just a little while she was more thoroughly and earnest than any human being who feels that Christ has died to save her and that she has an eternal resting place prepared for her and waiting to receive her has any right to feel on such a subject yet though the letter had never reached its destination the pitying saviour looking down upon his poor, foolish lamb and tender love made haste to prepare an answer to her wild, rebellious cry for help even though she cried blindly without a thought of the helper who was sufficient for all human needs long looked for come at last and Sadie's clear voice rang through the dining-room and a moment after that young lady herself reached the pump-room holding up for Esther's view a dainty envelope directed in a yet more dainty hand to Miss Esther Reed Here is that wonderful letter from Cousin Abbey which you have sent me to the post-office after three times a day for as many weeks it reached here by the way of Cape Horn I should say by its appearance it has been re-mailed twice Esther set her pale down hastily seized the letter and retired to the privacy of the pantry to devour it and for once was oblivious to the fact that Sadie lunged on bits of cake broken from the smooth square loaf while she waited to hear the news Anything special? Mrs. Reed asked, pausing in the doorway which question Esther answered by turning a flushed and eager face toward them as she passed the letter to Sadie with permission to read it aloud Surprised into silence by the unusual confidence Sadie read the dainty epistle without comment My dear Esther I am in a grand flurry and shall therefore not stop for long stories today but come to the pith of the matter immediately We want you There is nothing new you are aware as we have been wanting you for many a day but there is new decision in my plans and new inducements this time We not only want but must have you Please don't say no to me this once We are going to have a wedding in our house and we need your presence and wisdom and taste Father says you can't be your mother's daughter if you haven't exquisite taste I am very busy helping to get the bride in order which is a work of time in patience and I do so much need your aid Besides, the bride is your Uncle Ralph's only daughter so of course you ought to be interested in her Esther do come Father says the enclosed $50 is a present from him which you must honor by letting it pay your fare in New York just as soon as possible The wedding is fixed for the 22nd and we want you here at least three weeks before that Brother Ralph is to be first groomsman and he especially needs your assistance as the bride has named you for her first bridesmaid I'm to dress, I mean the bride is to dress in white and mother has a dress prepared for the bridesmaid to match hers so that matter need not delay nor cause you anxiety This letter is getting too long I meant it to be very brief and pointed I designed every other word to become but after all I do not believe you will need so much urging to be with us at this time I flatter myself that you love me enough to come to me if you can so leaving Ralph to write directions concerning route and trains I will run and try on the bride's bonnet which has just come home P.S. there is to be a groom as well as a bride though I see I have said nothing concerning him Never mind you shall see him when you come Dear Esther there isn't a word of tense in this letter I know but I haven't time to put any in Really laughed Sadie as she concluded the reading This is almost foolish enough to have been written by me Isn't it splendid though? Esther I'm glad you are you I wish I had corresponded with Cousin Abbey myself a wedding of any kind is a delicious novelty but a real New York wedding and a bridesmaid besides my I have a mind to clap my hands for you seeing you are too dignified to do it yourself Oh said Esther from whose face the flesh had faded leaving it actually pale with excitement and expected disappointment You don't suppose I am foolish enough to think I can go do you Of course you will go when Uncle Ralph has paid your fare I have paid more too $50 will buy a good deal besides a ticket to New York Mother don't you ever think of saying she cannot go There is nothing to hinder her she is to go isn't she Why I don't know answered this perplexed mother I want her to I am sure yet I don't see how she can be spared She will need a great many things besides a ticket and $50 do not go as far as you imagine Besides Esther you know I depend on you so much Esther's lips parted to speak and had the words come forth which were in her heart they would have been sharp and bitter ones about never expecting to go anywhere never being able to do anything but work but Sadie's eager voice was quicker than hers Oh now mother it is no use to talk in that way I have quite set my heart on Esther's going I never expect to have an invitation there myself so I must take my honors second-handed Mother it is time you learned to depend on me a little I'm two inches taller than Esther and I've no doubt I shall develop into a remarkable person when she is where we can't all lean upon her School closes this very week you know and we have vacation until October Abby couldn't have chosen a better time Whom do you suppose she is to marry What a queer creature not to tell us Say she can go mother quick Sadie's last point was a good one in Mrs. Reed's opinion Perhaps the giddy Sadie at once her pride and her anxiety might learn a little self-reliance by feeling a shadow of the weight of care which rested continually on Esther You certainly need the change she said her eyes resting pityingly on the young care-worn face of her eldest daughter but how could we manage about your wardrobe Black silk is nice to be sure but you would need one bright evening dress at least and you know we haven't the money to spare Then Sadie, thoughtless selfish Sadie who was never supposed to have one care for others and very little for herself Sadie who vexed Esther nearly every hour of the day by what at the time always seemed some specially selfish heedless act suddenly shown out gloriously She stood still and actually seemed to think for a full minute while Esther jerked a pan of potatoes toward her and commenced peeling vigorously Then she clapped her hands and gave vent to little gleeful shouts before she exclaimed Oh mother, mother, I have it exactly I wonder we didn't think of it before There's my blue silk, just the thing I am tall and she is short so it will make her a beautiful train dress Won't that do splendidly? The magnitude of this proposal odd even Esther into silence To be appreciated it must be understood that Sadie Reed had never in her life possessed a silk dress Mrs. Reed's best black silk had long ago been cut over for Esther so had her brown and white plaid so there had been nothing of the sort to remodel for Sadie and this elegant sky blue silk had been lying in its satin paper covering for more than two years It was the gift of a dear friend of Mrs. Reed's girlhood to the young beauty who bore her name and had been waiting all this time for Sadie to attain proper growth to admit of its being cut to for her Meantime she had feasted her eyes upon it and gloried in the prospect of that wonderful day when she should sweep across the platform of music hall with the same silk falling in beautiful blue waves around her for it had long been settled that it was to be worn first on that day when she should graduate No wonder then that Esther stood in mute astonishment while Mrs. Reed commented Why Sadie, my dear child is it possible you are willing to give up your blue silk? Not a bit of it mother I don't intend to give it up the least bit in the world I'm merely going to lend it it's too pretty to stay poked up in that drawer by itself any longer I've set my heart on its coming out this very season just as likely as not I put on ears for me when I graduate I'm not at all satisfied with my attainments in that line so Esther shall take it to New York and if she sits down or stands up or turns around or has one minutes peace while she has it on for fear lest she should spot it or tear it or get it stepped on I'll never forgive her and at this harangue Esther laughed a free glad laugh such as was seldom heard from her some way it began to seem as if she were really to go Sadie had such a brisk business-like way of saying Esther shall take it to New York oh, if she only only could go she would be willing to do anything after that but one peep one little peep into the magic world that lay outside of that dining room and kitchen she felt as if she must have perhaps that laughed it as much for her as anything it almost startled Mrs. Reed with its sweetness and rarity what if the change should freshen and brighten her and bring her back to them with some of the sparkles that continually danced in Sadie's eyes but what, on the other hand if she should grow utterly disgusted with the monotony of their very quiet very busy life and refused to work in that most necessary treadmill any longer so the mother argued and hesitated and the decision which was to mean so much more than any of those new trembled in the balance for let Mrs. Reed once find voice to say, oh Esther I don't see but what you will have to give it up and Esther would have turned quickly and with curling lip to that pan of potatoes and have sharply forbidden anyone to mention the subject to her again once more Sadie, dear Mary silly Sadie came to the rescue mother, oh mother what an endless time you are in coming to a decision I could plan an expedition to the north pole in less time than this I am just wild to have her go I want to hear how a genuine New York bride looks besides you know dear mother I want to stay in the kitchen with you Esther does everything and I don't have any chance I perfectly long to bake and boil and broil and brew things say yes, there's a darling and Mrs. Reed looked at the bright flushed face and thought how little the dear child knew about all these matters and how little patience poor Esther who was so competent herself would have with Sadie's ignorance and said slowly and hesitatingly but yet actually said well Esther, my daughter I really think we must try to get along without you for a little while and these three people really seemed to think that they had decided the matter though two of them were at least three years in a special providence it never once occurred to them that this little thing in all its details had been settled for ages End of Chapter 6 Recording by Trisha G Chapter 7 of Esther Reed This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Esther Reed by Pansy Chapter 7 Journeying Twenty minutes here for refreshments Passengers for New York Take South Track New York Daily Papers here Sweet Oranges here and amid all these yells of discordant tongues and the screeching of engines and the ringing of bells and the intolerable din of a merciless gong Esther pushed and elbowed her way through the crowd almost panting with her efforts and her face with her traveling companion a nervous country merchant on his way to New York to buy goods He hurried her through the crowd and the noise into the dining saloon stood by her side while obedient to his orders she poured down her throat a cup of almost boiling coffee then seating her in the ladies room charged her on no account to stir from that point while he was gone he had just time to run around to the post office and read some letter then he vanished and in the confusion and the crowd Esther was alone she did not feel in the least flurried or nervous on the contrary she liked it this first experience of hers in a city depot she would not have had it made known to one of the groups of fashionably attired and very much at ease travelers who thronged past her for the world but the truth was Esther had been having her very first ride in the cars and had made various little trips in company with school friends to adjoining towns after school books or music or to attend a concert or for pure fun but though Esther had spent her 18 years of life in a town which had long been an express station yet want of time or of money or of inclination to take the bits of journeys which alone were within her reach had kept her at home now she glanced at herself at her faultlessly neat and lady like traveling suit she could get a full view of it in an opposite mirror and it was becoming from the dainty veil which fluttered over her hat to the shining tip of her walking boots and she gave a complacent little sigh as she said to herself I don't see but I look as much like a traveler as any of them I'm sure I don't feel in the least confused I'm glad I'm not as ridiculously dressed as that pert looking girl in brown I should call it in very bad taste to wear such a rich silk as that for traveling she doesn't look as though she had a single idea beyond dress probably that is what is occupying her thoughts at this very moment and Esther's speaking face betrayed contempt and conscious superiority as she watched the fluttering bit of silk and ribbons opposite Esther had a very mistaken opinion of herself in this respect probably she would have been startled if she hadn't been pregnant had anyone told her that her supposed contempt for the rich and elegant attire displayed all around her was actually the outgrowth of envy that when she told herself she wouldn't lavish so much time and thought and above all money on mere outside show it was mere nonsense that she already spent all the time at her disposal and all the money she could possibly spare on the very things which she was condemning the truth was Esther had a perfectly royal taste in all these matters give her but the wherewithal and she would speedily have glistened in silk and sparkled with jewels yet she honestly thought that her bitter denunciation of fashion and folly in this form was outward evidence of a mind elevated far above such trivial subjects and looked down accordingly with cool contempt on those whom she was pleased to denominate butterflies of fashion and in her flight to a higher sphere of thought this absurdly inconsistent Esther never once remembered how just exactly a week ago that day she had gone around like a storm king in her own otherwise peaceful home almost wearing out the long suffering patients of her weary mother rendered the home intolerable to Sadie and actually boxed Julia's ears and all because she saw with her own common sense eyes that she really could not have her blue silk or rather Sadie's blue silk trimmed with netted fringe at twelve shillings a yard but must do with simple folds and a seventy-five cent heading such a two weeks as the last had been in the Reed family the entire household had joined in the commotion produced by Esther's projected visit it was marvelous how much there was to do Mrs. Reed toiled early and late and made many quiet little sacrifices in order that her daughter might not feel too keenly the difference between her own and her cousin's wardrobe Sadie emptied what she denominated her finery box and donated every article in it delivering comic little lectures to each bit of lace and ribbon as she smoothed them and padded them and told them they were going to New York Julia hemmed in pocket handkerchiefs and pricked her poor little fingers unmercifully and uncomplainingly Alfred ran of errands with remarkable promptness but confessed to Julia privately that it was because he was in such a hurry to have Esther gone so he could see how it would seem for everybody to be good-natured Little Minnie got in everybody's way as much as a tiny creature could and finally brought the tears to Esther's eyes and set everyone else into bursts of laughter by bringing a very smooth little handkerchief about six inches square and offering it as her contribution toward the traveler's outfit. As for Esther she was hurried and nervous and almost unendurably crossed through the whole of it, wanting a hundred things which it was impossible for her to have and scorning not a few little trifles that had been prepared for her by patient toil-worn fingers. Esther, I do hope New York or cousin Abby or somebody will have a soothing and improving effect on you," Sadie had said with a sort of good-humored impatience only the night before her departure. Now that you have reached the summit of your hopes you seem more uncomfortable about it than you were even to stay at home. Do let us see you look pleasant for just five minutes that we may have something good to remember you by. My dear Mrs. Reed had imposed rebukingly. Esther is hurried remember and has had a great many things to try her today. I don't think it is a good plan just as a family are about to separate to say any careless or foolish words that we don't mean. Mother has a great many hard days of toil which Esther has given to remember her by. Oh, the patient tender forgiving mother. Esther, being asleep to her own faults never once thought of the sharp fretful half-disgusted way in which much of her work had been performed but only remembered with a little sigh of satisfaction the many loaves of cake and the rows of pies which she had baked that very morning in order to save her mother's steps. This was all she thought of now but there came days when she was wide awake. Meantime the New York train after panting and snorting several times to give notice that the twenty minutes were about up and rumbled its way out from the depot and left Esther obeying orders that is, sitting in the corner where she had been placed by Mr. Newton being still outwardly but there was within her heart a perfect storm of vexation. This comes of mother's absurd fussiness in insisting upon putting me in Mr. Newton's care instead of letting me travel alone as I wanted to she fumed to herself. Now we shall not get into New York until after six o'clock. How provoking! How provoking this is, Mr. Newton exclaimed, re-echoing her thoughts as he bustled in, red with haste and heat, and stood penitently before her. I hadn't the least idea it would take so long to go to the post office. I am very sorry. Well, he continued recovering his good humor, notwithstanding Esther's provoking silence. What can't be cured must be cured, Miss Esther, and it isn't as bad as it might be, either. We've only to wait an hour and a quarter. I've some errands to do and I'll show you the city with pleasure. Or would you prefer sitting here and looking around you? I should decidedly prefer not running the chance of missing the next train, Esther answered very shortly, so I think it will be wiser to stay where I am. In truth Mr. Newton endured the results of his own carelessness with too much complacency to suit Esther's state of mind, but he took no notice of her broadly given hint further than to assure her that she need give herself no uneasiness on that score. He should certainly be on time. Then he went off looking immensely relieved, for Mr. Newton frankly confessed to himself that he did not know how to take care of a lady. If she were a parcel of goods now that one could get stored or checked, and knew that she would come on all right, why, but a lady I'm not used to it. How easily I could have caught that train if I hadn't been obligated to run back after her. But, bless me, I wouldn't have her know that for the world. This he said meditatively as he walked down South Street. The New York train had carried away the greater portion of the throng at the depot, so that Esther and the dozen or twenty people who occupied the great sitting with her had comparative quiet. The wearer of the condemned brown silk and blue ribbons was still there, and awoke Esther's vexation still further by seeming utterly unable to keep herself quiet. She fluttered from seat to seat and from window to window like an uneasy bird in a cage. Presently she addressed Esther in a bright little tone. Doesn't it bore you dreadfully to wait in a depot? How briefly and truthfully, notwithstanding the fact that she was having her first experience in that boredom. Are you going to New York? I hope so, she answered with energy. I expected to have been almost there by this time, but the gentleman who was supposed to be taking care of me had to rush off and stay just long enough to miss the train. How annoying answered the blue ribbons with a soft laugh. I missed it too in such a silly way. I just ran around the corner to get some chocolate drops and a little matter detained me a few moments and when I came back the train had gone. I was so sorry for I'm in such a hurry to get home. Do you live in New York? Esther shook her head and thought within herself. That is just as much sense as I should suppose you to have risked the chance of missing a train for the sake of a paper of candy. Of course Esther could not be and the chocolate drops were for the Wee's sister at home whose heart would be nearly broken if sister Fanny came home after an absence of twenty-four hours without bringing her anything and that the little matter which detained her a few moments was joining the search after a twenty-five cent bill which the ruthless wind had snatched from the hand of a bare-footed, bare-headed and almost forlorn little girl who cried as violently as if her last hope in life had been blown away with it. Nor how, failing in finding the treasure, the gold-classed purse had been opened and a crisp new bill had been taken out to fill its place. Neither am I at all certain as to whether it would have made any difference at all in Esther's verdict if she had known all the circumstances. The side door opened quietly just at this point and a middle-aged man came in carrying in one hand a toolbox and in the other a two-story tin pail. Both girls watched him curiously as he set these down on the floor and, taking tacks from his pocket and a hammer from his box, he proceeded to tack a piece of paper to the wall. Esther, from where she sat, could see that the paper was small and that something was printed on it in close, fine type. It didn't look in the least like a hand-bill or indeed like a notice of any sort. Her desire to know what it could be drew strong. Two tiny tacks held it firmly in its place. Then the man turned and eyed the inmates of the room, who were by this time giving undivided attention to him and his bit of paper. Presently he spoke in a quiet, respectful tone. I've tacked up a nice little tract. I thought maybe while you was waiting you might like something to read. If one of you would read it aloud all the rest could hear it. So saying the man stooped and took up his toolbox and his tin pail and went away, leaving the influences connected with those two or three strokes of his hammer to work for him through all time and meet him at the judgment. But if a bombshell had suddenly come down and laid itself in ruins at their feet, it could not have made a much more startled company than the tract taker had left behind him. A tract actually tacked up on the wall and waiting for some human voice to give it utterance. A tract in a railroad depot. How queer, how singular, how almost improper. Why? Oh, Esther didn't know. It was so unusual. Yes, but then that didn't make it improper. No. But then she it... Well, it was fanatical. Oh yes, that was it. She knew it was improper in some way. It was strange that the very convenient word should have escaped her for a little. This talk Esther held hurriedly with her conscience. It was a sleep, you know, but just then it nestled as in a dream and gave her a little prick, but that industrious important word, fanatical, lulled it back to its rest. Meantime there hung the tract and fluttered a little in the summer air as the door opened and closed. Was no one to give it voice? I'd like dreadful well to hear it, an old lady said, knotting her grey head toward the little leaf on the wall. But I packed up my specs and might just as well have no eyes at all as far as reading goes when I haven't got my specs on. There's some young eyes around here though, one would think, she added looking inquiringly around. You won't need glasses, I should say now, for a spell of years. This remark, or hint, or inquiry, was directed squarely at Esther and received no other answer than a shrug of the shoulder and an impatient tapping of her heels on the bare floor. Under her breath Esther muttered, disagreeable old woman. The brown silk rustled and the blue ribbons fluttered restlessly for a minute. Then their owner's clear voice suddenly broke the silence. I'll read it for you, ma'am, if you really would like to hear it. The wrinkled, homely, happy old face broke into a beaming smile as she turned toward the pink-cheeked blue-eyed maiden. That I would, she answered heartily, dreadful well. I ain't heard nothing good pierced to me since I started, and I've come two hundred miles. It seems as if it might kind of lift me up and rest me like to hear something real good again. With the flush on her face a little heightened the young girl promptly crossed to where the tract hung and a strange stillness settled over the listeners as her clear voice sounded distinctly down the long room. This was what she read. Solemn Questions Dear friend, are you a Christian? What have you done today for Christ? Are the friends with whom you have been talking, traveling toward the New Jerusalem? Did you compare notes with them as to how you were all prospering on the way? Is that stranger by your side a fellow pilgrim? Did you ask him if he would be? Have you been careful to recommend the religion of Jesus Christ by your words, by your acts, by your looks this day? If danger comes to you, have you this day asked Christ to be your helper? If death comes to you this night, are you prepared to give up your account? What would your record of this last day be? A blank? What? Have you done nothing for the master? Then what have you done against him? Nothing? Nay, verily. Is not the Bible doctrine, he that is not for me is against me? Remember that every neglected opportunity, every idle word, every wrong thought of yours has been written down this day. You cannot take back the thoughts or words. You cannot recall the opportunity. This day, with all its mistakes, and blots, and Mars, you can never live over again. It must go up to the judgment just as it is. Have you begged the blood of Jesus to be spread over it all? Have you resolved that no other day shall witness a repeatal of the same mistakes? Have you resolved in your own strength or in his? During the reading of the tract a young man had entered, paused a moment in surprise at the scene, then moved with very quiet tread across the room and took the vacant seat near Esther. As the reader came back to her former seat, with the pink inner cheek deepened into warm crimson the newcomer greeted her with, Good evening, Miss Fanny. Have you been finding work to do for the master? Only a very little thing she answered with a voice in which there was a slight tremble. I don't know about that, my dear. This was a woman's voice. I'm sure I thank you a great deal. They're kind of startling questions like, enough to most scare a body unless you was trying pretty hard. Now, ain't they? Very solemn questions indeed answered the gentleman to whom this question seemed to be addressed. I wonder if we were each obliged to write truthful answers to each one of them, how many we should be ashamed to have each other see? How many would be ashamed to have him see? The old woman spoke with an emphatic shake of her gray head and a reverent touch of the pronoun. That is the vital point, he said, yet how much more ashamed we often seem to be of man's judgment than of God's. Then he turned suddenly to Esther and spoke in a quiet, respectful tone. Is the stranger by my side a fellow pilgrim? Esther was startled and confused. The whole scene had been a strange one to her. She tried to think the blue-ribboned girl was dreadfully out of her sphere, but the questions following each other in such quick succession were so very solemn and personal and searching, and now this one. She hesitated and stammered and flushed like a schoolgirl as at last she faltered, I think I believe I am. Then I trust you are wide awake and a faithful worker in the vineyard," he said earnestly. There are times when the master needs true and faithful workmen. He as a minister said Esther positively to herself when she had recovered from her confusion sufficiently to observe him closely as he carefully folded the old woman's shawl for her, took her box and basket in his care, and courteously offered his hand to assist her into the cars for the New York train thundered in and presented himself, and they rushed and jostled each other out of the depot and into the train. And the little tract hung quietly in its corner, and the carpenter who had left it there hammered and sawed and plained yes and prayed that God would use it, and knew not then nor afterward that it had already awakened thoughts that would tell for eternity. End of chapter 7 Chapter 8 of Esther Esther Read This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Esther Read by Pansy Chapter 8 The Journey's End Yes, he's a minister, Esther repeated even more decidedly as being seated in the swift moving train directly behind the old lady and the young gentleman who had awakened thoughts, she found leisure to observe him more closely. Mr. Newton was absorbed in the Tribune, so she gave her undivided attention to the two and could hear snatches of the conversation which passed between them as well as note the courteous care with which he brought her a cup of water and attended to all her simple wants. During the stopping of the train at a station their talk became distinct. And I haven't seen my boy, don't you think, in ten years the old lady was saying, won't he be glad though to see his mother once more? And he's got children, two of them. One is named after me, Sabrina. It's an awful, homely name, I think, don't you? But then you see it was grandmas. And that makes all the difference in the world, her companion answered. So the old home is broken up and you are going to make a new one. Yes, and I'll show you everything I've got to remember my old garden by. With eager trembling fingers she untied the string which held down the cover of her basket and, rummaging within, brought to light a withered bouquet of the very commonest and, perhaps, the very homeliest flowers that grew if there are any homely flowers. There, she said, holding it tenderly and speaking with quivering lip and trembling voice, I picked them the very last thing I did out in my own little garden patch by the back door. O, times and times I've sat and weeded and dug around them with hymns sitting on the stoop and reading out loud to me. I thought all about just how it was while I was picking these. I didn't stay no longer and I didn't go back to the house after that. I couldn't. I just pulled my sun bonnet over my eyes and went across lots to where I was at breakfast. Esther felt very sorry for the poor, homeless, friendless old woman, felt as though she would have been willing to do a good deal just then to make her comfortable and yet it must be confessed that that awkward bunch of faded flowers arranged without the slightest regard to colors looked rather ridiculous and she felt surprised and not a little puzzled to see actual tears standing in the eyes of her companion who handled the bouquet with gentle care. Well, he said after a moment of quiet you are not leaving your best friend after all. Does it comfort your heart very much to remember that in all your partings and trials you are never called upon to bid Jesus goodbye? What a way he has with bringing that subject into every conversation commented Esther, who is now sure that he was a minister. Some way Esther had fallen into a way of thinking that everyone who spoke freely concerning these matters must be either a fanatic or a minister. Oh, that's about all the comfort I've got left. This answer came forth from a full heart and eyes brimming with tears and I don't suppose I need any other if I've got Jesus left I oughtn't to need anything else but sometimes I get impatient it seems to me I've been here long enough and it's time I got home. How is it with the boy who is expecting you has he this same friend? The gray head was slowly and sorrowfully shaken. Oh, I'm afraid he doesn't know anything about him. Ah, then you have work to do you can't be spared to rest yet I presume the master is waiting for you to lead that son to himself. I mean to I mean to sir she said earnestly sometimes I think maybe my coffin could do it better than I but God knows and I'm trying to be patient. Then the train word on again and Esther missed the rest but one sentence thrilled her maybe my coffin could do it better than I how earnestly she spoke as if she were willing to die at once if by that she could save her son how earnest they both were anyway the wrinkled homely ignorant old woman and the cultivated courtly gentlemen Esther was ill at ease conscience was arousing her to unwanted thought these two were different from her she was a Christian at least you supposed so hoped so but she was not like them there was a very decided difference were they right and was she all wrong wasn't she a Christian after all and at this thought she actually shivered she was not willing to give up her title week though it may be oh well she decided after a while she is an old woman almost through with life of course she looks at things through a different aspect from what a young girl like me naturally would and as for him ministers always are different from other people of course foolish Esther did she suppose that ministers have a private Bible of their own with rules of life set down therein for them quite different from those written for her and as for the old woman almost through with life how near might Esther be to the edge of her own life at that very moment when the train stopped again the two were still talking I just hope my boy will look like you the old lady said suddenly fixing admiring eyes on the tall form that stood beside her patiently waiting for the cup from which she was drinking the tea which he had procured for her Esther followed the glance of her eye and laughed softly at the extreme improbability of her hope being realized while he answered gravely I hope he will be a noble boy and love his mother as she deserves then it will matter very little who he looks like while the cup was being returned there was a bit of toilet making going on the gray hair was smoothed back under the plain cap and the faded twisted shawl changed and carefully pinned meantime her thought seemed troubled and she looked up anxiously into the face of her comforter as he again took his seat beside her I'm just thinking I'm such a homely old thing and New York is such a grand place I've heard them say I do hope he won't be ashamed of his mother no danger was the hardy answer he'll think you are the most beautiful woman he has seen in ten years there's no way to describe the happy look which shone in the faded blue eyes at this answer and she laughed a softly, pleased laugh as she said maybe he'll be like the man I read about the other day some mean old scamp told him how homely his mother was and he said, says he yes, she's a homely woman, sure enough but oh, she's such a beautiful mother whatever will I do when I get to New York with sudden anxiety just as like as not now he never got a bit of my letter and won't be there to get me do you know where your son lives oh yes, I've got it on a piece of paper the street and the number but bless your heart I shouldn't know whether to go up or down or across just the shadow of a smile flitted over her friend's face as the thought of the poor old lady trying to make her way through the city to him then he hastened to reassure her then we are all right whether he meets you or not we can take a carriage and drive there I will see you safe at home before I leave you this crowning act of kindness brought the tears I don't know why you're so good to me she said simply unless you are the friend I prayed for to help me through this journey if you are it's all right God will see that you are paid for it and before Esther had done wondering over the singular quaintness of this last remark there was a sudden triumphant shriek from the engine and a tremendous din made up of a confusion of more sounds than she had ever heard in her life before then all was hurry and bustle around her and she suddenly awakened to the fact that as soon as they had crossed the ferry she would actually be in New York even then she be thought herself to take a curious parting look at the oddly matched couple who were carefully making their way through the crowd and wonder if she would ever see them again the next hour was made up of bewilderment to Esther she had a confused remembrance afterward of floating across a silver river in a palace of reaching a place where everybody screamed instead of talked and where all the bells were ringing for fire or something else she looked eagerly about her for her uncle at least fifty men who resembled him as she saw him last about ten years ago she fumbled nervously for his address in her pocketbook and gave Mr. Newton a recipe for making mince pies instead finally she found herself tumbled in among cushions and driving right into carriages and carts and people who all got themselves mysteriously out of the way down streets she thought must surely be the ones the bells were ringing for they were all ablaze it had been arranged that Esther's escort should see her safely set down at her uncle's door as she had been unable to state the precise time of her arrival and besides as she was an entire stranger to her uncle's family they could not determine any convenient plan for meeting each other at the depot so Esther was whirled through the streets at a dizzying rate and with eyes and ears filled with whispering sights and sounds was finally deposited before a great building a glow with gas and gleaming with marble Mr. Newton rang the bell and Esther making confused adieu's to him was meantime ushered into a hall looking not unlike Judge Warren's best parlor a sense of awe not unmixed with loneliness and almost terror stole over her as the man who opened the door stood waiting after a civil whom do you wish to see and what name shall I send up whom did she wish to see and what was her name anyway could this be her uncle's house did she want to see any of them she felt half afraid of them all suddenly the dignity and grandeur seemed to melt into gentleness before her as the tiniest of little women appeared and a bright young voice broke into hardy welcome is this really my cousin Esther and so you have come how perfectly splendid where is Mr. Newton gone why John you ought to have smuggled him into dinner we are so much obliged to him for taking care of you John send those trunks up to my room you'll room with me Esther won't you mother thought I had to put you in solitary state in a spare chamber but I couldn't you see I have been so many years waiting for you that now I want you every bit of the time all this while she was giving her little loving pats and kisses on their way upstairs with her she at once carried the traveler such a perfect little gem of a room as that was into which she was ushered Esther's love of beauty seems likely to be fully gratified she cast one eager glance around her took in all the charming little details in a second of time and then gave all her undivided attention to this wonderful person before her who certainly was invariable flesh and blood the much dreamed over much long for cousin Abby a hundred times had Esther painted her portrait tall and dark and grand with a perfectly regal form and cleanly air hair black as midnight coiled in heavy masses around her head eyes blacker if possible than her hair as to dress very difficult to determine sometimes it was velvet and diamonds or if the season could not possibly admit of that then a rich dark silk never by any chance a material lighter than silk this had been her picture now she could not suppress a laugh as she noted the contrast between it and the original she was even two inches shorter than Esther herself with a manner much more like a fairies than a queens instead of heavy coils of black hair there were little rings of brown curls clustering around a fair pale forehead and continually peeping over into the bluest of eyes then her dress was the softest and quietest of muslins with a pale blue tint Esther soft laugh chimed merrily she turned quickly now have you found something to laugh at in me already she said gleefully why said Esther forgetting to be startled over the idea that she should laugh at cousin Abby I'm only laughing to think how totally different you are from your picture from my picture yes the one which I had drawn of you in my own mind I thought you were tall and had black hair and dressed in silks like a grand lady Abby laughed again don't condemn me to silks in such weather as this at least she said glee mother thinks I am barbarous to summon friends to the city in August but the circumstances are such that it could not well be avoided so put on your coolest dress and be as comfortable as possible this question of how she should appear on this first evening had been one of Esther's puzzles it would hardly do to don her blue silk at once and she had almost decided to choose the black one but Abby's laugh and shrug of the shoulder had settled the question of silks so now she stood in confused in decision before her open trunk Abby came to the rescue shall I help you she said coming forward I'll not ring for Maggie tonight but be waiting made myself suppose I hang up some of these dresses in which shall I leave for you this looks the coolest and she held up to Esther's view the pink and white muslin which did duty as an afternoon dress at home well said Esther with a relieved smile I'll take that as she thought within her heart they are not so grand after all presently they went down to dinner and in view of the splendor of the dining room and the sparkle of gas and the glitter of silver she changed her mind again and thought them very grand indeed her uncle's greeting was very cordial and though Esther found it impossible to realize that her aunt Helen was actually three years older than her own mother or indeed that she was a middle aged lady at all so very bright and gay and altogether unsuitable did her attire appear yet on the whole she enjoyed the first two hours of her visit very much and surprised and delighted herself at the ease with which she slipped into the many new ways which she saw around her only once did she find herself very much confused to her great astonishment and dismay she was served with a glass of wine Esther among the staunch temperance friends with whom she had hitherto passed her life had met with no such trial of her temperance principles which she supposed were sound and strong yet here she was at her uncle's table sitting near her aunt who was contentedly sipping from her glass would it be proper under the circumstances to refuse yet would it be proper to do violence to her sense of right Esther had no pledge to break except the pledge with her own conscience and it is most sadly true that that sort of pledge does not seem to be so very binding in the estimation of some people so Esther sat and toyed with hers and came to the very unwarrantable conclusion that what her uncle offered for her entertainment it must be proper for her to take do Esther's good sense the justice of understanding that she didn't believe any such thing that she knew it was her own conscience by which she was to be judged not her uncle's that such smooth sounding arguments honestly meant that whatever her uncle offered for her entertainment she had not the moral courage to refuse so she raised the dainty wine glass to her lips and never once be thought herself to look at Abbey and notice how the color mounted and deepened on her face nor how her glass remained untouched beside her plate on the whole Esther was glad when all the bewildering ceremony of the dinner was concluded and she on the strength of her being wearied with her journey was permitted to retire with Abbey to their room End of Chapter 8 Recording by Tricia G.