 Well to many school teachers the end of June signifies more than just the completion of a term's work. It often ushers in romance and marriage. To Armist Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, it also has a special significance. It certainly has. To me, the end of June is significant because it ushers in July. Oh, it's not that Mr. Boynton hasn't asked me to marry him dozens of times. It's just he hasn't asked me once. I've tried to forget about it, but last Saturday morning at breakfast, my landlady reopened the case. Connie, I've been thinking, if you're going to be a June bride, we better step on it. At last a proposal. I'm serious, dear. You've got to bring home to Mr. Boynton. The fact that this is the month of romance. The time when all living creatures reach out to one another. If I reach out any further, I'll look like a giraffe. June is a wonderful month, Connie. My sister Angela and my brother Victor were married in June, you know. It was a double wedding. Angela and Victor married a half-brother and a half-sister. Where were they married? In the little half-church around the corner? The boy's father was the girl's father as well, but his mother was her stepmother. Of course, her father was the boy's stepfather, but he had passed on by the time they were married so he couldn't give the bride away. What a pity. So the bride's step-uncle gave her away. He was the boy's mother's half-brother, of course. What else could he be? It was a beautiful ceremony, Connie, and within five years, each couple had three little girls. I bet there were six of the nicest half-stepnieces you ever met. Pass the cream, please, Mrs. Davis. Here you are, dear. Now, you be a good kitty, Minerva. You've had your breakfast. She's so restless lately. Must be because she knows it's June. How does she know it's... Oh, I keep forgetting. There's a calendar in the kitchen. You know something, Connie. I think Minerva's engaged. Really? Anyone I know? I don't think so. He's a big Persian from the next block. Wouldn't she be happier with a cat? Forgive me, Minerva. Meow. That's funny. She keeps looking toward the kitchen door. I wonder why. Meow. Meow. Oh, must be your friend from the next block. Now, Minerva, I wouldn't go out there if I were you. I would. If you'd excuse me, Mrs. Davis, I'd better start crimping a bit at nine o'clock already, and Mr. Boynton's coming over at 12. Oh, he can't be this early. I'll see who it is. All right, Connie. I'll take Minerva out in the backyard for a while and get some sun. Fine, Mrs. Davis. Well, it's Walter Denton. Greetings, Miss Brooks. And how is Madison's Ferris teacher this balmy June morning? Fairly balmy, thanks. Come in. Are we just having some coffee? Would you like something to eat, or have you had your breakfast, as if that made any difference? You're right on all counts, Miss Brooks. If there's one thing I can always do, usually it's eat. I've noticed that usually. Just sit down, Walter. I'll boil you a dozen eggs. No, no, no, thanks, Miss Brooks. I've got other things besides food on my mind today. Oh? It's Harriet Conklin. We've decided upon a June wedding. You and Harriet? That's right, Miss Brooks. That's why I'm too excited to think about food. So I'll just have some rolls and this cheese and marmalade and maybe a little honey with my Milton cookies. Well, I'd be eating when you're nervous. Now, what is all this about June weddings? You and Harriet are just kids, Walter. Oh, we're not planning to get married this June, but we're thinking of setting the date for some future June. You see, I've still got two more years of high school, and then I want to go to college. Now, I don't think I ought to get married before I get out of college, do you? Definitely not, Walter. Well, that's what Harriet thinks, too. Speaking as one who is intimately acquainted with my scholastic achievements, Miss Brooks, what year do you think we can shoot at? 1981. Oh, there you go, kidding me again. Now, I think 61 should do it very nicely. First, there's some slight opposition to our impending nuptials from a quarter very close to my intended. Namely? Your father. Mr. Coughlin can't stand the sight of me. What's so funny about that? Oh, I'm not laughing at that. I'm laughing at the thought of how ridiculous he'll look in 1961. Ridiculous? Well, sure. Now, there you'll be after six years of aggravation, standing around in a hot June day in a frock coat and heavy striped pants, watching his only daughter marry some jerk he can't stand the sight of. You're not giving yourself any of the best of it, Walter. Why, in six years, the entire picture could change. It can? Of course. Mr. Coughlin may be wearing a tuxedo. You know, Miss Brooks, Harriet and I have often talked about what a beautiful June bride you'd make. It's a shame that Mr. Boynton's so... well, so non-aggressive. We have a non-aggression pact. But he's improving all the time. We've got a red hot date set for this afternoon. No kidding. Where's he taking you? To a matinee square dance at the Armory. A square dance, huh? Boy, you sure got a head start for it. What's that? Well, if you'll pardon my frankness, Miss Brooks. The kids at school, although they're all very fond of Mr. Boynton, I have a pet expression about him. What is it? They say he's got corners on his head. You mean the kids think Mr. Boynton is a square? He ain't round. Please, Walter, he's not round. You can say that again. I just did. Now, what Mr. Boynton needs is some of the old oil. Old oil? Yeah. Like Mr. LeBlanc, the French teacher has. Gosh, every time a woman comes near him, he is a walking gusher. Now, Walter, that's no way to talk about a member of the faculty. Mr. LeBlanc isn't oily at all. He's just polished. Polished and sleek and smooth and oily. He's a walking gusher. I mean, Mr. LeBlanc is a very fine French teacher. You want me to answer the door, Miss Brooks? No, Walter, you finish eating. You do finish some time, don't you? Coming! Bonjour, Miss Brooks. I hope I do not intrude. Well, speak of the devil. Pardon? I said speak of the devil, Mr. LeBlanc. Oh, but why? That is, why should an angel speak of the devil? Would you flow into the living room, please? Sit down, won't you? Thank you. I would like to come right to the point, Miss Brooks. Why, because we do not have time to beat any bushes. Fine, then let's not beat any. Miss Brooks, I would like for you to do me a little favor this afternoon. What kind of favor, Mr. LeBlanc? I would like you to marry me. Qu'est-ce que faire? That means, huh? I, I said I would like you to marry me this afternoon. Oh, of course it wouldn't be you I am really marrying with, but Giorgette. Giorgette? I will explain, Miss Brooks. Although I have long been an American citizen, I spent last summer in Paris. There, I met another school teacher. Giorgette? No, Jacques. Now, that's the point. Jacques, Walter. He, it was, who introduced me to this lovely girl and soon we go on, or how you say it, stay delayed. Goodly for you. For six months we are inseparable. You and Giorgette? No, the three of us. First, we are all just good friends, you know, but after I return to America, Giorgette falls madly in love with me. And not a minute too soon. Oh, now, you do not understand, Miss Brooks. I had almost forgotten Giorgette. Then, a few weeks ago, she asked me that Jacques has gone to the Riviera. She is very melancholy, and she wants to come to America immediately. Now, how can one come immediately without red tapes? Only one way. Marry an American citizen by proxy. This sounds like the French version of life can be beautiful. Mr. Le Blanche, if I understand you correctly, and I don't see why I should, you want me to marry you in Giorgette's name, is that right? Exactly, Miss Brooks. But it must be extremely confidential. I wouldn't want anyone at Madison to know about it. Please, Miss Brooks, say you'll do it. Well, I don't know, Mr. Le Blanche. I'd like to think it over. Well, there is no time to think it over. Giorgette has cabled me that she is anxious to become a June bride. Speaking for myself, I can only say grand chose une épouse de juin. What does that mean? June bride, big deal. You know how women are when they are getting married. No, but it might be fun finding out. Mr. Le Blanche, I'll do it. Wonderful, Miss Brooks. I'm so excited that the prospect of being a proxy June bride that I completely forgot about Walter Denton. By the time I returned to the dinette, he'd left by the back door after quietly eating two legs off the breakfast table. I was just about to join Mrs. Davis in the yard when the doorbell rang. Oh, hello, Mr. Boyman. Come in. No, thanks, Miss Brooks. I'd rather wait out here in the air for you. You're all ready to go, aren't you? To go? Sure. Do-si-do, form a line, come on in. The dancing's fine. Oh, that. Well, uh, do-si-do, you'll have to wait. Can't tell you why. I'm postponing our date. Postponing it? It's extremely confidential, Mr. Boynton. You see, it isn't just me. I mean, well, I'm doing something today that... You know, I've never seen you quite so flustered, Miss Brooks. Gosh, you're as nervous as a June bride. It should happen to both of us. Look, Mr. Boynton, if you'll just go home now, I'll call you as soon as I'm free. Then maybe later on I can explain it to you. All right, Miss Brooks, but try not to be too late. I'd hate you to miss too much of it. You know, the square dance goes back a good way in our history. Originally of English origin, the hill folks in our southern states adapted it to their own rhythms and tempos. They changed its form and reorganized its pattern. Then they nursed it, rehearsed it, and gave out the news that the south land gave birth to the blues. It's a very interesting topic, Mr. Boynton, but I really must ask you to excuse me now. Oh, very well, Miss Brooks. You'll call me later on? Yes, I will. Oh, before you go, would you mind bending down a bit? Bending down? Yes, this way. Thanks. Those kids are crazy. He hasn't got any corners on his head. What? Oh, nothing, Mr. Boynton. I'll see you later. Oh, goodbye, Mr. Boynton. Excuse me, Connie, but I couldn't help over hearing your conversation just now. Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Davis. Nothing personal. Nothing personal? Do you always go square dancing with another man on your wedding day? Huh? Oh, Connie, it isn't that I don't want to see you happily married. What hurts is that you didn't take me into your confidence. But obviously I have. No, no, I had to hear it secondhand. Walter Denton told me before he left. He overheard you and Mr. LeBlanc through the living room door. Just what did he hear, Mrs. Davis? He heard all about the marriage license and the justice of the peace. Right after he told me about it, he left. Oh, great. That kid talks almost as fast as he eats. Well, Mr. LeBlanc may not know it, but he's just become the co-owner of the best-known secret in town. Mary, I'm glad I caught you out in the porch. I've got a... Quiet, Walter. Daddy's trying to take a nap on the hammock. Come on over here. Oh, okay, Harry. Now, guess what? What? Miss Brooks is getting married. No! Why, I never thought that Mr. Boynton had it in him. He hasn't. She's not marrying Mr. Boynton. She's marrying Mr. LeBlanc. The French teacher? Well, but he hasn't even... they haven't even gone together. Yeah, they'll be going together after today. They're getting married about one o'clock this afternoon. How do you know all this, Walter? There's nothing wrong with my ears, is there? That's when I heard him say he'd be back with the justice of the peace and the license. Oh, but this is awful. What about Mr. Boynton? I know. She's just doing this because it's June and he didn't propose to her again. It's a spiked marriage. That's what it is. I guess you're right, Harriet. We can't let her go through with it. But what do we do? We're just pupils of hers. Oh, you're right. This requires adult advice. We've got to wake Daddy. Okay. Well, go ahead. Wake him. Oh, no, no. Not me, Harriet. I've seen our esteemed principal when somebody wakes him up. You'd better do it. He wouldn't swing on a girl. All right. Daddy? Daddy, get up. You've got to get up, Daddy. What? What's the trouble? Oh, I'm glad you woke me, Harriet. I was having a nightmare. There I was in a school room teaching again. Listen, Daddy. And that's not all. The class consisted of 40 boys, all with one face. Walter Denton's face. It was terrible. Daddy, look who's here. What's the matter? It's just a dream, Denton. I'm bound to wake up pretty soon. You've got to help us, Daddy. Miss Brooks is getting married. Now I know I'm dreaming. Harriet, did you say Miss Brooks is getting married? That's just what I said. Hmm. I didn't think Mr. Boynton had it in him. Well, at the risk of sounding repetitious, he hasn't. She's marrying Mr. LeBlanc. But it's just despite marriage, Daddy, and you've got to stop it. Me? What have I got to do with all this? But don't you see, Daddy, if she marries the wrong man, it'll not only ruin her life, but also ruin her career as one of Madison's best teachers. Hmm. Well, experienced teachers are becoming harder to get right now. What do you suggest, my dear? I suggest we contact Mr. Boynton. Thank you, dear. We'll contact him. Shut up, Denton! I was talking to my daughter. Walter's right. We should get in touch with Mr. Boynton. But, meanwhile, we'll have to plan some delaying actions. Well, this reminds me of my army days. As the next major, I shouldn't have any trouble in deploying my forces with the utmost efficiency in this campaign. Harriet, you get my shoes? Yes, sir. And what should I do, Major? You? About this? What? What? Brooks agreed to act as a proxy bride so that Monsieur Leblanc could marry his French sweetheart. She overlooked the fact that Walter Denton was in the kitchen at the time. Since then, Madison's version of Paul Revere has erroneously taken the news to every Hamilton town that Miss Brooks intends to spend the rest of her life cooking crepes sousettes. Later that day, Mrs. Davis was helping her prepare for the wedding. Oh, that was a very cute idea you had, Mrs. Davis, for me to wear a white dress and your old bridal veil. Mr. Leblanc should get a big kick out of it. You do look lovely, Connie. But I wish it were Mr. Boynton you were marrying and not as a proxy. Oh, I'll answer it, Connie. Well, it's Mr. Leblanc. How do you do, Mrs. Davis? This is Judge Stevens. How do you do, Mrs. Davis? I'm glad to know you, Judge. Come in, won't you? Thank you. Miss Brooks is right in the living room here. Just follow me. Ah, there you are, Miss Brooks. This is the justice who will marry us, Judge Stevens, Miss Brooks. Glad to know you, my dear. I must say you make a most ravishing bride. Well, I hope to, someday. Someday? But aren't you being married today? Of course we are, of course. Judge, would you mind opening the door, please? It's a bit warm in here. Very well. I did not get a chance to explain everything to the justice, Miss Brooks. I have many papers to sign, you know, to be able to show her setting her where she was being married. But now it's all set. Oh, good. Now then, let's proceed, shall we? There are several services to choose from, folks. Do you want a lengthy one or a brief one? Oh, the brief one, by all means. I've got a date to go to a square dance as soon as it's over. A square dance? Isn't that a little unusual, Mr. Leblanc? Oh, Mr. Leblanc isn't going with me. No, I have a date to go bowling. No, you don't, but you will in a minute. You see, Judge, Miss Brooks is just a proxy for one Georgette Duval. I have the papers right here that say when this ceremony is over, I am married with Georgette. Well, this is certainly one of the most unusual ceremonies I've ever performed. Me too, but we'd better start performing if Georgette's going to be married this month. Personally, I always say, grand chose une épouse de joie. What does that mean? Tune bride, big deal. Yes, now let's see. We'll need two witnesses. I'll be a witness. And I'll be the other one. Oh, but you are the bride. You cannot witness your own wedding. Who can? Where do you see me catch the bridal bouquet I throw? This is all highly irregular, but in view of the circumstances, I guess we can waive the other witnesses. Now let's take up our positions in front of this window and begin. Ah, there we are. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in the farce of matrimony. And so if anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be united in matrimony, let him speak now or forever. Hey! Who goes there? Why, it's Mr. Conklin and Harriet. You can't do this thing, Miss Brooks. Oh, please Harriet, it's practically done. Now if you and Mr. Conklin will just sit down. Sit down? It will just take a few minutes more, Mr. Conklin. You stay out of this, Leblanc. Miss Brooks isn't marrying you because she loves you. Of course not. She's just doing me a favor. A favor? Big-hearted Brooks, they call me. Perhaps I had better explain. You see, Mr. Conklin, Miss Brooks is just a proxy for a girl in Paris. We can come to this country only when we are man and wife. You mean Miss Brooks isn't really getting married at all? Don't make it sound so final, Harriet, but that's the idea. May I proceed now? With your permission, Mr. Conklin. Oh, of course. Go right ahead. Wait till I get my hands on that blabbermouth dinner. Let's see now. Where was I? Oh, yes. If anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be united in matrimony, let him speak now or forever. Hold the presses! Stop this wedding at once! Well, here comes blabbermouth now. You've made a terrible mistake, Walden. I've made a mistake. Miss Brooks is the one who's making the mistake. But fortunately, I'm here in time to rectify it. They come here, Denden. Well, Mr. Conklin, have I or have I not successfully completed my mission? You've done a grand job, my boy, and I'd like to be the first to shake you by the throat! Mr. Boynton, you better come in now. I wish someone would tell me what this is all... Miss Brooks, Mr. Le Blanche, Mrs. Davis. Oh, now, do not get the wrong impression, Mr. Boynton. This wedding is merely a formality. That ought to put his mind at ease. This is terribly sudden, isn't it, Miss Brooks? It's just a proxy wedding, Mr. Boynton. Miss Brooks is substituting for a girl in Paris. A girl in Paris? I wish I could finish this ceremony. Yes, please do. If anyone else here knows of any reason why these two should not be united in matrimony, let him speak now or forever. Excuse me, but I've got a cablegram here for Mr. Le Blanche. I am Paul Le Blanche. Let me see the cablegram. It's from Georgette. It says, please cancel plans for proxy wedding. Jacques Poirot and I were married this morning. I would like to have waited a while, but Jacques insisted that we be married this month. Sorry, Georgette. A p.s. June Bride. Big deal. Well, I guess there won't be anything for me to do around here. Just a minute, Judge. I don't think all these preparations should go to waste. Why, Mr. Boynton, what are you driving at? You'll see. Miss Brooks, please stand over here by my side. Yes, Mr. Boynton. Walter and Harriet, you get over there. Okay, Mr. Boynton. Mrs. Davis, Mr. Conkin, on our left. Thank you. And now, Mr. Boynton? Well, now we can have our own square dance. Will she go and form a line? Come on in, the dancing's fine. Oh, look at me instead of being wed. I'm dancing with the fellows. Got corners on his head. Mr. Bride was produced and directed by Larry Burns, written by Joe Krillin and Al Lewis in the music of Wilbur Hatch. Mr. Conkin was played by Gail Gordon.