 RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, and first in television, presents the Bill Harris Alice Faye show. The employment here is the Bill Harris Alice Faye show, transcribed, written by Ray Singer, Dick Chevrolet, Jack Douglas, and Marvin Fissure. With Elliot Lois, Walter Tetley, John Hubbard, Janine Roose, and Whitfield, Walter Sharpen is music, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. Ladies and gentlemen, RCA, the Radio Corporation of America, and RCA Victor, wish to extend to you and yours, the happiest of Christmases. We like to feel that RCA and RCA Victor, by pioneering in and developing the miracles of radio, television, and recorded sound, have made the American home a happier place to live in. So, from RCA and RCA Victor, that have contributed so much toward heightening family comfort and lightening daily chores to all of our listeners, a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year. Now the stars of the RCA Victor program, Alice Faye and Bill Harris. Ladies and gentlemen, today is Christmas Day, but our story begins yesterday on Christmas Eve. The Harris family, like all you other good people, were busy making last minute preparations. Now let me see. The reef is on the front door. The living room is all decorated with holly. Oh, Alice, would you hang these little silver bells on the wall there next to the fireplace? Sure, Mom. Well, what else you got for me to do? Anything at all? Just anything? Oh, well, Mother's Little Helper. I wish you were as eager all year as you are two weeks before Christmas. Mom, it's not just on account of Christmas. I'm growing up. You don't have to tell me anymore to pick up my books or keep my room neat. Yes, I'll have to admit that. And you, honey, you're doing much better too, with one exception. I still have trouble getting you to drink your milk. Well, I've tried, but you know how that stuff gags. Bill, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Phyllis. Gee whiz, the living room really looks Christmassy. Hey, have you got a place around here where I can hang this sign? What's that? Oh, I just made it. It's a welcome sign. It says Una Heronola Vous. That there's a French for Merry Christmas. That's delightful, Pierre. What are you expecting in your Christmas stocking? Denise Darcell? Yeah, no. No, no, nothing like that, Alice. Hey, take a look at this paper. See that picture? All those little kids are refugees from France. And, well, they don't have any place to spend the holidays. You mean you invited them all over here? There must be at least a hundred children in that picture. No, no, no, honey. You see, when I called the paper, there was only two of them that hadn't been taken care of. A little French boy, Francois, and his sister, Marie. And so I figured, well, we're going to have a couple of guests tonight. Oh, Phyllis, I think that was awfully sweet of you. Gee, real refugees from France. Dad, how old are they? I think about ten and seven, but they're really plenty smart. Imagine they're so young, and already both of them can speak French. Oh, honey, come here, you big lug. Give me a kiss. Sharing our Christmas with these little French children. Well, it's one of the nicest things you ever thought of. Well, I just figured we got so much happiness that I, well, I just feel like spreading it around. Gee, Dad, I'll bet French kids have never seen Santa Claus. Can they stay up and see Santa when he brings the presents tonight? Could they? Oh, Daddy, please. Well, okay. Now, you kids continue to behave yourselves, and you can all see Santa Claus. Now, why don't you go out and watch out the window for little Francois and Marie? Oh, thanks, Dad. Come on, Phyllis. Phil, why did you promise the children that they'd see Santa tonight? Now, if they don't see him, they'll be so disappointed. They're going to see him. And just to make sure I'll dress up like Santa Claus, they won't be able to tell me from the real one. Daddy! Yes, dear? Don't, boy, was that corny! Well, it was corny, Phil. And Santa Claus, you were, you were a total loss. Yeah, but I would have fooled everybody if I hadn't had that accident. While I was coming down the chimney, I made a wrong turn somewhere. Well, I've certainly delayed your entrance. Naturally. You spend an hour and a half messing around in a washing machine. I didn't mind the first two rinses, but when it switched to fluffy dry, it was uphill all the way. Oh, now Phil, stop. Look, this is Christmas Eve. When are we going to get our tree? Oh, I bought one this afternoon. It's at the market. Julius is going to bring it over later. He should be here any minute. Look, honey, what bothers me now? If I'm not going to play Santa Claus, who are we going to get to play him? Hey, wait a minute. I have an idea. Let's get Don Wilson. Yeah! Old facts so can make it. Me and the fireplace are both about 58 inches across the heart. Well, then Don is our man. I'll call him right now and see if he can come over tonight. Yes, well, honey, good. Oh, that's great. Now the kids won't be disappointed. Santa will show up. Oh, that must be Julius with the tree. Hi, Curly. Well, if it ain't Rudy, the red-nosed rain there. Merry Christmas, Rude. Well, Merry Christmas, Curly. I got a present for you. Oh, you got a present for the little old Curly headed me. Yeah, I got you. Gee, who is that sweet of you? I don't know what to say. It's all right, Curly. But the thought, you don't know how I appreciate it. Gee, it touches me deeply. You're going to get sloppy about it. I'll take it. Don't stand there. Open it up and see what it is. Oh, Elliot, just what I wanted. Tissue paper. The present's under the paper. Here it is. Why, it's a bottle. It's not just a bottle. It's imported champagne. You bought a bottle of champagne for me, and gee whiz, it's almost half full, too. Yep. On the way over, I passed a brush fire on Mulholland Drive. Hey, what does that say there in that foreign language? That sign? Oh, that's Merry Christmas in French. See, we're really going to have a swell time around here tonight. I invited two little French refugees to share in a good old American eulogy. Oh, yeah, I read about them kids at the paper. Where's Alice? Oh, she's inside calling Don Wilson on account of the kids, little Alice, Phyllis and Francois and Marie want to see Santa Claus tonight, so we're asking Don Wilson to play it. Why are you getting Don Wilson to play Santa? Well, what else am I going to do? Well, let the kids stay up and see the real Santa Claus. Yeah, but I don't know what time he's got. Can I have that again, Murl? Yeah. Why don't you let the kids see the real Santa Claus? You've been smoking the wrong end of them filtered cigarettes. So you're another one of those cynics, huh? A wise guy who don't believe. You do? Of course. Just because you've never seen him, don't mean he's not there. You must realize, Curly, there are some things in life that are inexplicable. There exist certain psychic phenomena that are ethereal, and beyond the comprehension of we mere mortals. What was that? Doc, Curly, you can take my word for it, the real guy will show up. I see him every Christmas. Yeah, look, Elliott, tell me, how come you see Santa every Christmas and I don't? Curly, I can best explain that by saying there are a lot of things I see that you don't. That I know, but I'm talking about Christmas, not New Year's Eve. All I gotta say is it's a good thing kids have more common sense and faith than some grown-ups, or Christmas wouldn't be much fun. I know that tonight, old St. Nick and his reindeer will come flying through the sky. They will be closely followed by Cinderella and her jet pumpkin. All right, Scott, if you will, Infidel. Hill, honey, I just called Don Wilton and he can't make it. Merry Christmas, Alice. Oh, hello, Elliott, Merry Christmas. As I was saying, Phil, Don can't make it, but he said he has a lot of active friends and he'll send one of them over. Oh, Don, it's, Don would have been perfect. I don't understand you people. You seem to have lost faith. You got the house decorated, lights outside, you invited two little French refugees to your house. You got a beautiful Christmas tree. Where's your Christmas tree? That's what I'd like to know. Julius should have delivered it an hour ago. Come on, Elliott, let's go over to the store and pick it up ourselves. Man, isn't this Christmas season great? This is for me. I'm livid. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Ashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh. For the fields we go, laughing all the way. Bells on my fields ring, they're making spirits bright. What fun it is to ride and sing a sleigh song tonight. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. A day or two ago, I thought I'd take the ride. And so Miss Silas Faye was seated by my side. The horse was lean and like, this fortune seemed his lot. He got into a drifted bank and we got upshot. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. All one fine, one horse open sleigh. Mark, it's closed, we ain't gonna get in here. Oh, wait a minute, lights are still on. Yeah, look, that's Julius. Wow. He's right over there. He's rifling the cash register. He's counting the receipts. I'll get him to open it. Hey, Julius, open the door, Julius. Come on, kid, we want to get in. Hey, hurry it up. Julius, don't be a smarty pants. Yes, we want to get that Christmas tree. I want the big one I saw this afternoon. OK, come on in the back, and I'll get it for you. Come on, Elliot, you can help. Oh, wait here at the counter, girl. This is, I thought it was a spin at piano. Try to play white Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Elliot, help us carry the tree out to the car. Where is it, Julius? Right here. Oh, yeah, that's the one. Hey, thanks for saving it for me, kid. That's OK. Merry Christmas, Mr. Harris. Same to you. Look, drop over at the house a little later. Come on, Elliot, let's take this tree home and get it trimmed. Right. That's the last ornament. Gee, the tree looks pretty. Yeah, sure it does. How do you like it, Curly? Oh, it looks swell. Gosh, what a Christmas Eve we're going to have. Well, I'd better go up with the children. They're getting pretty impatient waiting for Francois and Marie. I'll be back in a few minutes. OK, honey. Say, Elliot, I think we've got too many blue lights on this side of the tree. Let's move them around over to, hey, there's the doorbell. I hope this is the guy Don Wilson sent to play Santa. Well, well. Bonsoir, Monsieur. Is this the home of Monsieur Philly Paris? That's right, Sonny. Oh, you must be little Francois de Val. Oui, Monsieur. And this is my sister, Marie. How are you, Marie? Qu'est-ce que c'est, Francois? C'est maison et votre maison. Monsieur, my sister has been in this country only a very short distance. You see, she doesn't not speak very good English. Well, she came the right place, needed this curly. Hey, Merry Christmas, kids, and welcome to our home. Gee, I'm sure glad that you could come. Thank you very much for asking us. Gee, don't thank me. Why, you two children being here with us is going to make this a best Christmas we ever had. Hey, kids, come on. I want you to see everything. Come on, right through here. Oh, très jolie. C'est grand, magnifique. Yeah. How about that tree? Real solid, ain't it? Qu'est-ce que c'est, solid? My sister, Marie, she doesn't not understand. Well, you know, tree is solid. It's real gone. Qu'est-ce que c'est, gone? Well, it comes on, you know, it just won't quit. Ah, man, it's a most. T'es choiseux depuis que j'ai mangé? Et j'ai beaucoup faim. Voulez-vous que j'ai mangé quelque chose avec vous? Par exemple, un gâteau ou des bombons? Huh? I'm hungry. Oh! Gee whiz, isn't it awful? I'm a fine host. Hey, help yourself, kids. There's some candy and nuts and cakes and apples and oranges. Go on, pile it on, live it up. Thank you, Monsieur. You are so kind. Mmm, france va, regard, a real au revoir. You betcha them are real au revoirs. I bought them down at the Farm Air's Marquette. Hey, kids. The first time... Alice and Phyllis are getting... Honey, why didn't you tell me that Francois and Marie were here? Well, how are you children? We're so glad you could come. Alice, Phyllis, look who's here. Hello, my name is Alice. Merry Christmas. My name is Phyllis. Welcome to our house. Thank you. I am Francois Duval. And this is my sister, Marie. How do you do? We appreciate very much for you to invite us here. You have a very beautiful house. Thank you. Your father, she is very rich, no? His wife, he is very rich, yes. Well, I do pretty good in my business. Mr. Alice, just what is your business? If he tells her the truth, the big three have met for nothing. Will you please, Uncle Elliot? Marie, I'm, well, an entertainer, a singer. Like, have you heard of Perry Como? No. Well, you know our very famous singer, Bing Crosby? No. Well, oh, listen to this. Cornbread and butter beans, ham hocks and turnip greens, and that's what I like about the South. Oh, we, Tennessee Ernie. That's close enough. Come on, children, let's all go upstairs and I'll tell you all about Santa Claus and his reindeer, huh? Hey, I think you kids, you're richer. They'll have a lot of fun while they're here. Hey, I wonder where that guy is that Don Wilson was supposed to send over to play Santa Claus. He's supposed to be here now. I don't understand. Hey, Elliot, what have you got there? Milk and cookies for Santa Claus. I put them on the mantel form every year. Milk and cookies? Yeah. Well, that old man's been working like a dog tonight, leaving something more nourishing like what will you have and pretzels? Don't be funny. I'll put the milk and cookies over the fireplace. And another thing. Oh, ho, ho, ho. I need a buy. It's Santa Claus outfit. Wait on my look for you. It must be jelly because jam don't shake like that. Andy, wait a minute. Did Don Wilson send you over? Yeah, you see, it was like this, Phil. Don's work on the other side of town, so I took this job. This job? Yeah, all those part-time Santa Clauses are organized now. Who organized you? Jack Benny? I thought it was some commercial deal. Look at that frowsy costume you're wearing. It's bagging at the knees. Oh, that's my stomach. It keeps slipping. Besides, Mr. Benny don't furnish us with Santa Claus costume. We have to make them ourselves. You have to make your own Santa Claus costumes? Yeah. We furnish the long underwear, and Mr. Benny gives us a bottle of Mercura coffee. Where'd you get them sloppy whiskers? Well, he don't give us the Santa Claus beards either. We'd just line up in these sprays with ready whip. Why are you wasting time with this charlatan? Shh. Hey, here comes the kids. Now, whatever you do, Andy, you've got to convince these children that you're Santa Claus. Now, don't you worry, Phil. Hey, kids. Hi, kids. Look. Look who's here. Gee, Santa Claus. We Santa Claus. Hello, Santa. Ho, ho, ho, my name, little boy. Francoise, this is Marie. Well, come here, children, and sit on my lap. Mais je m'ai demanda qu'elle. Huh? My sister says, which lap? Oh, Santa. We like you fine. Santa Claus, what happened to your voice? Well, I shouldn't be doing so much singing while I'm on my route. Oh, can you sing? Sing? Well, I bless your little heart. Sure I can sing. Now, you just listen to this. Uh. Try backing him. Dear children, I'm sure glad I could stop in and see you. But I've got to be going now. So Merry Christmas to all. Well, children, what did you think of Santa Claus? I thought he was very nice. I did, too. But where was his helper? What helper are you talking about? The one he's on television with, the cowboy, why a big hiccup. Marie, you mean you knew that was Andy Devine? Yes. But we did not want to hurt his feelings. Mr. Ives, when is the real Santa coming? Well, well, you see, honey, he'll be here soon. Oh, Elliot. Look, kids, he may get here too late. Look, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you all the Christmas story, and then you run off to bed, huh? Well, all right, Daddy. But we wanted so much for Francois and Marie to see him. I know it, honey. Maybe next year. Now look, gather all around me, and I'll tell you a beautiful Christmas story. You ready? It was the night before Christmas and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were fit. I thought I heard sleigh bells. No. The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced through their. Alice, what are those bells? What's that? Quiet, girlie. Look, Marie. Refreshing. Hello, Santa Claus. But Merry Christmas, Santa. I don't see anybody. The kids do. Look at her. Santa Claus, we were waiting all evening for you. Oh, thank you. Marie, look, a real bicycle. Just what I wanted. Just Santa Claus with a beautiful doll. For me, almost just Santa Claus. I've never had a doll before. Thank you. And all these other things, they are for us. May we open them now? All right, Santa. We'll wait till morning. Thank you very much. Merry Christmas to you too, Santa. Merry Christmas and au revoir, Santa Claus. Francois, I knew you'd come someday. I don't get it. I didn't see him. Of course you didn't. He sure is a nice-looking old gem. Alice, did you see him? I'm not too afraid. I almost thought I saw him standing by the fireplace. But Alice, how could it be if he was standing? Bill, what are you staring at? The mantel, Alice, the milk and cookies. They're gone. This is Bill again, our thanks and a merry Christmas to our sponsor, RCA Victor. Or without them, it wouldn't be possible for us to come into your homes every week. And a merry Christmas and thanks to all of you for listening, and may this be the happiest holiday season you've ever had. Good night. Merry Christmas and good night, everybody. Now here, John Cameron Swayze on the news on the NBC radio network.