 Is there a limit or a prohibition to what type or how Christians can have sex in marriage or Since they're married Does it mean that anything they want to do can go? Hey, welcome back to my Christian. I want to touch on a topic that obviously is intended for mature Audiences and for the most part is really only for married couples But if there is someone who is possibly on their way to getting married mean they are engaged or They thought about this and just want to have some understanding Remember this is again still for those who are able to handle some of the subject matter for some people It might be a little bit uncomfortable But everything that we're going to discuss is going to be biblical So keep that in mind as we go through this entire discussion So as we talk about sex, especially as it pertains to Couples married couples that is we need to understand how God Intended what was the purpose of sex remember there are two purposes for it one to procreate God desires as he tells Adam and Eve to be fruitful and to multiply in other words to Multiply themselves through the act of sex that there would be children to display God's glory throughout the land But also only in the confines of marriage for the husband to enjoy his wife and for the wife Likewise to enjoy her husband This is not something again, I repeat this is not something for people who are not married for singles As a matter of fact one of the questions that come up as it pertains to this What about if a person is what we call common law married? So let's be clear with this The Bible's understanding of marriage is something that is intentional he says that for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and Pleave to this woman and the two shall become one. This is an intentional act This is not something that over time we've been shacking and so he's like my husband. She's like my wife No, or in some places where they can they're considered to be if they spend enough time together within the same residence Shacking as we call it then maybe the government that local government or the state might consider them to be Common law husband and wife. Well, that's not in keeping with the biblical understanding of a marriage If anyone is shacking living together, which is becoming more and more normal today understand That is sin Christians should not engage in that at all So the only sexual activity that we should ever even be talking about should only be between married couples that means a husband and a wife a male and female in Matrimony one of the passages that gets brought up often is Hebrews 13 for this is let marriage be held in honor among all and Let the marriage bed be undefiled for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous So according to this passage seems to give the indication that what happens in the confines of marriage in the bedroom Is okay. However, does that mean that any and everything is okay? Even if one or both parties agree to it. No, that's not the case at all keeping in mind the purpose of marriage more particularly Sex within marriage the purpose of that what God has ordained and what God has intended That should be the guide Also keeping in mind some of things that God has prohibited We've talked before in the past about even masturbation how bad it can even play a role even in marriage What if one spouse is doing so while lusting after the other and again? The problem can be that it becomes a replacement It becomes a surrogate if you will for one part and over the other and then even in the heat of of anger An argument then the one spouse could find himself or her self-preferring Masturbation over the actual intimacy with the spouse and what it does is it cuts off intimacy between the two So that will never be something that should be promoted or even thought about you should always try to avoid that Because again, it's going to involve some form of lust and then if you're angry and you do that It's not likely you're going to be lusting after your spouse while doing so There's some other things that are also considered to be sinful that you should never bring into the marriage room even if it is Okayed or agreed upon by one or both parties One thing obviously is either swapping or having multiple partners three sims or what have you Why because again, it is still adulterous God is not interested in bringing in other gods in the relationship that we have and since marriage has symbolized The covenant between man and woman as it is between man and god Just like he is a jealous god and and does not approve of that That's certainly not acceptable in the bedroom of two married couple Even if they think that it's okay where it might spice up the relationship That is a sin and you do not add sin to something that sanctified by God It messes the whole thing ends up becoming sin One of the other things that comes up is am I allowed to have or to utilize porn or pornography In our marriage if a couple believes that that would spice things up or what have you or if that might make things a little bit more adventurous Again adding sin to something that's ordained or sanctified by God Does not make it any less sin what ends up happening inevitably It becomes a place where lust can breed and grow and then it becomes an addictive habit For either or both of the couples It leads to different fantasies and so forth and really unreal fantasies because let's be honest You don't typically see older Adult stars Why because trying to keep up this whole fantasy this whole charade this whole mask of This little perfect Way of doing things that nobody can always keep up with that no Husband or no wife to keep up with and what ends up happening is The husband could end up comparing the wife to some star or vice versa And that could lead to some sort of unfulfillment in the marriage The last thing you want to do is compare your spouse with someone else who they themselves may be taking some sort of Drugs or what have you or they may have two or three takes to get the whole thing right You don't want to do that and you don't want to have that other person in mind When you are with your spouse and then lastly it may cause you to want to act out some of the things that are taking place in these adult films that also in many cases Even if they were done by a husband and wife Would still be sinful something that comes up from time to time between people is the question What about the introduction of different toys and things like that? Well, the bible doesn't speak much about that and so it'd be kind of hard to say or to point to a pastor's That tells you so again. This has to be something that Both parties are comfortable with That it's not something that one party is pushing upon the other that one party is Making the other one feel guilty about and so I would say just use wisdom and caution But also think about the other person when you want to do something like that Something else also that sometimes couples may Bring in is what we call sexting and so forth taking video or pictures and then having them Obviously, there is nothing in the bible that says anything about that the problem is this though It might not be the wisest thing to do because anything can happen You may accidentally text something to someone to the wrong person Your phone or what have you make it stolen things like that a lot of times you see these things coming out And I know sometimes they're not they're they're intentionally leaked But then there are also times where they are unintentionally leaked and the problem is these things stay forever You're not going to delete these in the minds of memory or on the internet that someone has already seen And it holds a potential danger for maybe your children whether now in the in the future for your children to see these images I would caution just don't do it If it's something that you want to do to spice up You know what I would say just let the desire build up so that when you do Come together with your spouse and just be that much more enjoyable But again, is that a sin? No, it's not but it may not be the wisest thing to do Now ultimately most people are really concerned about Too big ones too big issues that come up oftentimes In this discussion depending on where you come from your your background how you were brought up These two things are kind of hot button issues in marriages The first one is what about oral sex now? Let's be clear Oral sex is sex So let no one tell you that it that it's not It's not something that a person can do Especially with someone who's not their spouse and think that the other person is not going to be bothered Okay, it is cheating if you do it with someone who is not your spouse If you were to look at song solving you're going to find that The book is is is pretty intense Your mind is going to wonder because of the imagery that's presented in the words And so it's clear because it's in the scripture that God intends For the husband to enjoy the wife and the wife to enjoy the husband and he uses these images And these words to conjure up thoughts and feelings And so Whether you take this literally or you take it figuratively It's going to be kind of hard to take it figuratively and not think that he doesn't mean certain things literally And so I would say that this probably gives Okay, that this gives an acceptance On the part of God for that particular act to occur because again, it's still your spouse. It's still The two enjoying As long as both parties are fine as long as both spouses are okay with it. Well, then amen In first Corinthians chapter seven Paul tells us that he says the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband Therefore it is necessary and appropriate Important that neither would deprive the others so that sexual sin or temptation does not sink in And he says now this is the passage that may become a little bit difficult It says for the wife does not have authority over her own body But the husband does likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body But the wife does and he says again Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time That you may devote yourself to prayer But then come together again So that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control So the point is um, you've got certain urges or desires What have you then make sure that you feel fit that you fulfill the other person's Interest and desires as well That's the whole point But it doesn't mean though because the bible says that her body belongs to him and vice versa That he can tell her what to do or she can tell him what to do because hey, this is mine You'll do this because you belong to me. That's not that's not his point oftentimes you'll see in Certain relationships where one is forcing the other to do something that may not like or agree with and so That brings up the next subject that brings up the one that tends to be a little bit sticky And so we need to go ahead and deal with this In as respectful fashion as possible We see in genesis The bible clearly being against what happened in sodomy and gamora And because of that because of these male homosexual relationships Taking place the term sodomy comes up. However, the word sodomy is not found anywhere in the bible It's just become a term that has referenced Males having sex with other males and this wouldn't necessarily mean that this would incorporate anal sex now Does the bible specifically prohibit that? Well, you won't find a passage that says specifically that thou shall not do this However, I believe that wisdom as well as medicine Would dictate that it's probably not the right thing to do the safest thing to do. Certainly. It's not the safest thing to do And it may not be what god wants you to do because remember Everything that we have and that we do There's a function that god intended for to carry out And so For the man to go to that place of a woman's body That's not what that was intended for that part was intended to relieve the body of waste There's bacteria in that comes out. And so It's no wonder that men and women who do perform this Have the highest risk as well as the highest cases Of sexually transmitted diseases. This is something where the lining in the body The tissue is very thin and so there can be these different abrasions and so forth And so you can see people's immune systems being impacted. You can see people getting getting sick Again, certain diseases Can come about because of this and so it's just really not a why it's going to do as a matter of fact Studies have shown that most women themselves don't do not enjoy it But they go ahead and do it just because of their man And the reason why the men would do it again goes back to one of the other things we talked about is because When you sit and watch porn and you decide that you want to be like what you saw In that adult film Then you might feel like that's something that you want to do and end up ultimately coercing the spouse the woman to do so Again, it's not healthy And I would say for that reason just not wise to do the bacteria that would come for that to then be Inserted into the vagina also is going to cause some problems. And so I'm not saying that It's a sin to do so what I am saying. It's probably not wise And again, it certainly is not the intended use of that part of the body now. So clearly what the bible does want is for Is for any sort of activity between the husband and wife to take place As often as possible as often as they want to When both partners do Agree and both partners should want to do so for the other one Never preventing the other one from enjoying themselves and the other person's body. And so Um, remember the whole point and purpose for this again, as I said, let's let's just repeat it One for procreation But then again, there are people who can no longer procreate who no longer can have children or past childbearing age But also it's there intended for the two parties to enjoy themselves. The two can be come one Identify as one The reason why it talks about his body as hers and hers is his likewise Is because there there'd be this commonality this familiarity between the two that whatever's happening with her He's familiar with and whatever whatever's happening with him. She's familiar with there'd be no secrets There'd be nothing that either one would be ashamed about Oftentimes when there's issues with the person's body, that's the person that they were confined with Which is their spouse and so guys be wise be careful be safe But be godly make sure that what you do in the confines of your bedroom gives god glory. Amen