 This is Mike with the 21 report. We're behind the scenes in Orlando, Florida, Florida for the 21 convention 2017 10 year anniversary event. I'm here with Hunter Drew from the family Alpha Hunter. Welcome to the show and thanks for being here Hey, thanks for having me. It's been awesome having you man And you just spoke and we're gonna get into some questions here But before we do that I wanted I was wondering if you could give us a like a brief overview of your talk And why as you chose to talk about what you did so When I first came down here I had an entire speech set up based on family and marriage and how do you maintain you know that you're masculine in marriage basically and When I got here after talking with the guys, you know, we were down at the the barn You know shooting the shit and I realized that's not the The company we have you know, that's not where these men are coming from they're not coming entirely from you know Marriage they're not coming entirely from single life You know LTRs and whatnot. So I the day before my speech. I decided to change the entire thing towards authenticity. So I'm writing the speech while I'm watching, you know, rollo and those guys up Socrates and I decided to write about authenticity and how do you maintain your mission and your version of masculinity in society? Awesome. So in your talk, you shared a bit of your journey your story and you mentioned that when you were 19 You joined the Navy. I wanted to ask what was your biggest lesson that the Navy taught you? So the biggest lesson the Navy taught me is the concept of irrational confidence You know having confidence in yourself when everything says you shouldn't, you know And the Navy they puts you in several positions, you know throughout my career I was there for eight years and there were many times I was challenged I was pushed beyond what I thought I was capable of you know Staying awake for 72 hours is actually 73 hours because I had to work on a pump because we couldn't get underway If I didn't get it fixed three days straight no sleep, you know My friends would bring me monsters and like food, you know It's you realize you're capable of so much more than you think you just have to believe that you can do it And then go do it and even if you fail have the confidence that you believe, you know, you can do it So on your blog you talk about first and foremost being a man then being a husband and also being a father What advice would you give to a man who knows he wants children at some point? But is maybe has a little bit of fear attached to that about becoming a father What would your advice be to that man that I mean the fear is healthy, you know Having that fear means you give a shit you're thinking about everything that comes to being a father I mean being responsible for another life is not something you should take lightly So in that becoming a father It doesn't dictate what the rest of your life is becoming a father It doesn't mean you've got to start changing who you are as a man because you are a man first and then any title You take on after that that that's built off the foundation of being a man And that's why authenticity and living authentically and genuine is so important because you're building upon that So if you're genuine and you have a child, you know, just understand you're now responsible for that child It's a part of your mission for the rest of your life. So do it the due justice and give it the due diligence It needs, you know be present make time, you know that yeah You mentioned in your speech a little things about just like if you've had a long day at work and Your son comes up to you and he wants to go play catch. You just got to you got to do those You got to do it. Yeah, dead tired, you know, and it goes is like with your wife You know, there's times where you don't want to have to listen or help her out with what she's going on But that's your wife. You've got to invest in them. You've got to stop. It's not about you That's the beauty of being men, you know, we have that limitless reserve of energy that we can just bring to everything It is that we do So on that same subject of fatherhood, what is the biggest mistake you see father's making today? The biggest mistake is Clearly they feel they made it once you become a father, you know, they're like, oh, I made it I can relax now, you know, your kids they're gonna follow the example that you said not the advice that you give them If you're sitting back and relaxing if you come home every day from work Monday through Friday saying I need to relax And you change into t-shirt and gym shorts all your family sees is relaxed you They never see the go-getter at work. They don't see the motivated guy who's driven to earn the paycheck They only see you at home tired and relaxed. What example you setting for your kid You've got to you got to continue to go you're never there It's just self-improvement to the grave and bringing them along during that process. Yeah, it's like it never ends There's always another challenge that comes so one thing you mentioned in your talk Which I really liked was the concept that this whole convention was founded on which was the ideal map One of the questions I want to ask you it might be a difficult question But what would your definition be of not just a good father not just a great father, but the ideal father? So that's actually not that difficult. No, no So the ideal father is the genuine father. It is the authentic father It's the father who isn't putting on a show or isn't trying to become their kids friends You know they're living their life and they're maintaining that standard and they're setting the example That's gonna allow their children to do the same, you know, they're present They have boundaries that they enforce They don't just give their child everything because it's not about just giving you've got it You got to prepare them for the world and I have a son and a daughter. My son is eight. My daughter's five. I raised them Equally, but not the same. I'm very fair But my son I kind of give him more freedom than I give my daughter because he's a man He's he's going out there. He wants to explore. He wants to do those things, but I also have a higher expectation He's got more chores to do. He's got more work that he has to do on his end But that gives him freedom my daughter. I'm a little more strict But I allow her to to express her feminine beauty, you know, I allow her to If she wants to go in my garage and draw on her chalk all over the floor, I let her let her express that artistic side Let her express for as long as I can I've got a filter all the societal you know input and I've got to just protect her from that and let her be her Let my son be him and I keep it fair, but different So just to kind of rewind before you came a father Was there someone who like where did you learn all this knowledge from was it from maybe your own father or another? How did you come to this kind of awareness of how to to be that father? That's a solid question. See that's a difficult question. Yeah. Yeah, so my dad was a Navy man So I grew up with you know, very strong work ethic You know, my bed had to be made tight if it was not tight I wasn't going anywhere for the rest of the day I wasn't allowed to hang out friends if in the morning my bed was made too loose So that built a very strong work ethic, but he was always deployed So he didn't teach me about the other sides of masculinity So I kind of cherry-picked and that's what I do if you look at my Twitter every person I follow They're all authentic and what it is they're bringing to the table I've learned from a young age because my dad was gone how to choose strengths from people and make them my own So to get where I've gotten now It's I'm standing on the shoulders of giants and I'm continuing You know from from Anthony from this from us right now like I think it's amazing what everybody's doing here Yeah, and I'm picking little things all your skill sets. I'm like holy shit like This is really impressive what you guys are doing and this is the next evolution Of the man is fear we're in person like we can touch, you know There's no electronic medium here, and that makes the message that much more impactful So that brings me on to something I want to ask next which was this was your first time speaking at the 21 convention How have you enjoyed the experience so far? Like I was telling you before we start recording. I am having a blast I mean, I'm able to talk about the things I want to talk about You know these guys I'm able to reach the guys and sit down and have a drink have a meal and Let them know like hey, not only am I authentic. I'm a real guy like this is me but also The way Text does not convey tone being able to stand in front of those guys and speak to them Let them see the passion, you know, you can tell when somebody gives a shit about something You know you can tell when somebody actually cares and invest their emotion into a subject and being able to talk to them Has allowed them to see like There are men who care you're not alone. No nobody is alone in this in this walk. We're all walking There's different paths that we're walking, but we're all walking and we're all here for each other So Hunter before we kind of wrap this up if people at home want to learn more about you Where's the best place that they can go? So I run the blog the family alpha comm at that site and I'm pretty active on Twitter So and what's your handle on Twitter the family alpha awesome simple easy guys don't mix it up So with that We'll wrap this thing up now and Hunter. Thank you so much We really really have enjoyed having you and would love to have you back again So for those watching at home, you can actually watch Hunter's talk Exclusively get first access on 21 University comm all by clicking in the link underneath this video This has been Mike with Hunter drew for the 21 report. Thank you