 guys, Asperger's growth here and today I'm going to give you a little message to all you people out there who are suffering from anxiety or depression or any kind of mental illness. So as opposed to some of the regular videos that I do, this is more of a freestyle video, I haven't made any notes on what I'm gonna say or anything, but I've generally just been thinking a bit today about why while I was looking at the research topics that I was going to do for my next year and stuff and I was thinking about what really was important for me and a lot of the stuff that I wanted to do was to do mental health and to do with improving mental health particularly in people who have autism or any kind of that kind of thing that's there's had links towards mental health and I just wanted to give a message for everybody out there who is my subscriber, definitely of my subscriber or if you just come across this video on YouTube looking for some kind of support. I know that during my last year when I was going for a quiet and intense depressive phase and all I really wanted was this kind of video where someone would you know sit down talk about how they felt about it so that I could maybe kind of get some kind of rapport going with them. I know it's it's hard to do this stuff via like virtual things because you can't you can't talk to everybody about stuff which is a sad truth and I just wanted to get as close and personal as I could hence why I am on the sofa and I'm still home. So if you didn't know I was diagnosed with aspergis which is a high-functioning type of autism which basically means that generally people with aspergis are on the autistic spectrum which is kind of a wide range of different neurodevelopmental disorders disorders. I like to use this a lot because obviously I like to use the scientific terms but I don't agree with a lot of them and that basically is a lot to do with social interaction a lot how our brain works will work more logically stuff like that. I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety in my early teens particularly to stuff to deal with being anxious so much that you get something called deep personalization which is where you detach all of your ego kind of dissipates a little bit and you don't really feel like a person it's a weird experience to have and also derealization which way you feel like you're not really attached to your present so much you think in the future too much and therefore you don't feel like you live in your life and you feel like you're in a bit of a dream world and that's the kind of place that I was in for a large percentage of the life that I can remember obviously I do have more of a life in a childhood but it's pretty hard to remember that stuff so yeah it's been a significant part of my life it still is being depressed being anxious still is a significant part of my life and I understand a lot of it the the highs the lows there's just the stable amount of mental low mental health quality and then obviously the high peaks that can lead people to doing stupid stuff I shouldn't really call a stupid because in the mind of a depressed person you know it can be very real and that's the kind of topic of the video that I wanted to touch on I went through a lot of my childhood thinking that I was I was generally quite normal whenever anyone would whenever I talk about my mental health I would always excuse me I would always compare myself to other people and how other people are doing in life and particularly to people who don't have mental health issues and there were some some of people in my school who had depression anxiety stuff like that but definitely what they went on the level that I was and the struggle that I had was when I was trying to compare myself to people and particularly when I was trying to explain my situation and how much my mental health affected me to parents friends you know people who are always in relationships with and also to like psychiatrists and stuff and for a lot of the time even now I still feel quite quite alienated from the rest of society because of how different my brain structure is and how how much of a what the different struggles that I have compared to other people a lot of people's struggles can be personalized for them they can have a really good life and their struggles could be they're not getting enough money and they want to get more and objects and stuff they want to get more possessions they want to get girls they want to boost the ego they want to look good they want to get a good job and their stress may come from those kind of things but when you have a mental health condition your life is very different and you probably know that if you have a mental health condition and if you talk to people particularly who don't have any experience with this kind of thing they will talk about you know you're overreacting which is a horrible thing to say to someone who's got mental health problems you're overreacting you need to sort yourself out there's bigger things to worry about there's getting your money in all that kind of stuff getting your job getting your education you know getting a good social life that's obviously that is a good thing but what I'm trying to highlight is that your reality and the things that you have in life is completely based on yourself it's completely based in your perception of things if you think the world is a horrible place where everybody does stuff for themselves everybody's selfish bad things happen sometimes good things happen then that's how you're gonna that's how the world is because that's the only the only world that matters to you and you're yourself you're not anybody else so it is important and you should never dismiss your own your own view of the world just because just because other people say that it's wrong so although these views of the world may be harmful you may think all these bad things about people it doesn't make it any less significant just because a significant amount of population doesn't think in that in that way the only the only reason why it will be significant is that if your mental health is significantly affected by it what I mean by a significant impact it is you you don't enjoy life you have a very low quality of life so that can be things like having too much anxiety that you can't do stuff that you want to do and personal experiences with anxiety stopped me from doing my sport that I loved and I was doing really good at help me back in a lot of relationships a lot of friendships particularly making friends when I was when I was very young and then you've obviously got your depression which is causing or they're not causing but being a result resulting in self harm hurting yourself and suicide which is quite a big one and all sorts of all sorts of other stuff like negative beliefs about people in the world and yourself if you think that things are really bad if you think the world is ending that's as significant that is as important as anybody else's view and if you're thinking that and people are telling me it's not and you should you shouldn't think that way and you still do and you've been thinking that for ages and ages and ages it's affecting your mental health is making you hate life then you need to make sure that other people understand that and that other people take it seriously because although it would be great if it was like this but people do not do not understand just because of the diagnosis is that you have or you know they don't understand the severity they don't understand the different things that you've experienced the different psychological things that you've built up as you've lived your life and it's very difficult it's very difficult to communicate that and I still can't accurately communicate how bad things are the only way that you can do is obviously how they physically view you which is obviously why some people self-harm because they want people to understand and then obviously the social communication and trying to get reference points and communicate with people to let them know through their own experiences how you might feel it's a difficult thing to do especially if you've got autism if you try a bit very best it can help a lot so don't ignore the fact that you want to kill yourself all the time it's a horrible thing it's really not good like I know there's a lot of memes on Facebook about you know depression oh I'm just gonna kill myself like it's not good at all and I know if you have any kind of suicide or ideation soon as something bad happens in your life thinking about suicide you need to get this all out you just do you need I don't care what you do I've panic attacks in public or it's probably not a good idea don't don't fall on that advice get on at people get annoyed at people for not taking you seriously go to as many people as you can trying to sort what you have out sorry about that I'm right next to a road near my house so it's a bit busy yes so make sure get it across to people I know what it's like it's like everybody's living in some kind of feels like everybody else is living in some kind of dream I know what it's like you feel like everyone's going some kind of dream world where everything's blissful and you know you just it feels like they're just faking it but they're not they're not faking it and in their eyes you're just thinking of them the negatives all the time the thing is is that you kind of living in this lens where the world is black like completely just dark everything is die everything is bad and then there are some things which are light and you gravitate towards those good things and those good things can be harmful so there could be drugs stuff like that and those good things can be good so they can be people and people that make you feel good and that's the way that you view your life and I'm not saying it's a bad way of viewing it unless it's affecting your mental health therefore if you were wanting to get a more positive positive view of life you'd want to experience everything in shades of grey so you'd want things to be oh that's a bit bit dark I'm gonna avoid that it's a bit like I might just wonder over that I hope you're getting these analogies and try my very best or you know maybe just maybe live in life where everything's wonderful and then some things are just really bad and you avoid them and everything's light and you gravitate towards everything new experiences new new emotions and you're just going for it and you're not thinking about too much because everything's so great it's just not it's not viable for most people who have mental illness you've lived your whole life thinking a certain way it's incredibly incredibly hard to change your view that much it's possible but not in a short term definitely in a long term it's definitely a constant thing you have to work at but do you want to be like that it's it's up to you see this is the reason why I usually make use your make scripts for stuff I hope that any of this stuff is kind of sinking in and you you're empathizing with a little bit I'm trying my best to talk about something freestyle it's not something that I usually do but the moral I really want to know mental health hard difficult thing one of the worst things on the planet and it's growing and we need to do stuff to sort it out I feel like I need to make these videos because although we do have a lot of other people making this there's not enough focus on fixing these key issues there's not enough community work in order to try and make people feel better there is a large significant amount of people who have it but because there's a high percentage of people who don't there's a high percentage of people who don't care about it and a lot of people who have mental illness is trying to help other people I can't say that I would be doing these videos if I didn't experience the things my self and you know we need people to to realize and we need people to watch these videos when mental illness mental illness or not and we need them to understand to some degree so that they'll be more inspired to help out and more inspired to solve this massive problem that the society has I really hope really really hope this video has been somewhat helpful I felt like for myself I wanted to talk about it and I felt like it was I haven't really done any of these sit-down videos where I can talk heart-to-heart about topics that I'm very passionate about and topics that I think are gonna help people a lot and I wouldn't be doing this video if I didn't think that myself so just remember your reality is as important as everybody else's number two you need to help people help people understand do whatever you can you know help people understand in terms of your world in terms of helping you out and making your life better and also helping other people and getting a general awareness of our things and number three never tried to compare yourself to people who don't have mental illness your life is a lot different to theirs your problems are a lot different to theirs and therefore it would be it would be disadvantageous to disadvantageous to yourself to compare yourself to other people so thank you very much for watching hope you liked it and if you did like it make sure to click the subscribe button and the little notification bell next to it so that you get notifications when my next videos come out I'll hopefully go into pop another vlog video of my trip to Thailand and still in Thailand and I've not put enough up yet but it's gonna come soon hopefully hopefully yeah remember to like the video if you liked it or leave a mean comment if you're a troll don't you leave that comment so I hope you guys having a great day hope the sun is shining for you today and always it's cheesy see you later guys peace peace