 It's fun over here. Kalesfi's for some tobacco. I don't know where Joe is. I don't know how you can stand that far. I'm your Clara, and I like this. Rather cool out. Are you out there around here someplace? He was here about two minutes ago when I went upstairs. Are you down there, Joe? That old radio thing. He says he can make one himself, but I says I'll believe it when I see him. There's some of that candy, like... Oh, did you bring me some of that nice candy? Isn't that lovely? Little Clara. Don't that look nice? Yes, they do their candy up nice. I like the pink ones. That is nice candy. Doesn't it? I did too. I like bonbons more than anything. Sorry, these are not all bonbons. They are all bonbons. There's nothing else in there. Are they? I thought only the pink ones were the bonbons. No, they're all bonbons. Well, that's lovely. Well, how is it you're not home? Do you know, Clara? Frank had some kind of dinner at the Glenwood Club, so I thought I'd stay in town and get something. He said he'd call in to be here around 8 o'clock. Men are always having dinner somewhere. It seems to me they can't talk about anything unless they have a dinner in front of them. Where's Amy? Upstairs? Yes, she's getting dressed. I was just hooking on when you came in. Is she going out? Yes or not? I didn't hear her say. But it's Wednesday night, you know. Is that fellow still coming here? I would wait on the dot, such as he is. And Sunday next, who knows? Well, it's Wednesdays. It looks like a steady thing. And you know what I'm talking about. It's Wednesdays. It looks like a steady thing. And you never in your life heard anybody talk so much, Clara. I don't know how she stands him. Well, your pot can hardly stay in the same room where he is. I believe in my heart. That's why he went over to Gillespie's tonight. So he wouldn't be listening to me. Doesn't she take him into the parlor? Well, she does, yes. But she might as well, he might as well stay in here for, he's not in there for five minutes. Before he's out here again, talking about socialism. That's not what you hear. Socialism and capital and labor. He thinks he knew something about it. And the Pennsylvania railroad. Well, that's where he works, you know. I don't know what he does down there, but he says to himself, he's ahead of the freight department. It says to our Joe, I don't see how he could be the head of anything from the talk I have. Joe says he thinks he's a nut. And your father said to his face last Sunday night that he don't know the meaning of the word socialism. Better not talk so loud or he's out to walk in on us. Oh, he is a great joker, you know, Clara. That's what he did last Sunday night. Well, your father, he was sitting here talking just the way we are right now. All right. We are right now. All of a sudden, I plant stuff and there he was in the doorway doing this. Just like a bandit, you know. Well, I was left to breath and leave my body. And then he says, ha, ha, that's the time I fooled you. Well, I don't know how long you've been standing there, but as luck would have it, we weren't talking about it then. Five minutes before that. I don't know whether you are or not. I hope he did, for it would be just the price of him for being so smart. And you know what, Clara? You can't say a word about him in front of her. Oh, not a word. No matter what he says, she thinks it's lovely. When Joe told her that he thought he was a nut, she just laughed and said that Joe was jealous of him because he could express himself. And he could. He never heard such talk. You know, Clara, I think he wears a wig. I do, honestly. And our joke says, he thinks he does too. But when I asked her about it the other morning, I learned she'd take the head right off me. And she says, it's a lie. She says, we don't wear a wig. She says, people are always saying something like that about a fellow that makes a good appearance. But you know, he sits over here under this light. And I'm going to take a good look the very first chance I get. I can tell a wig is good as anybody. She won't make a liar out of me. Mom? Did you see anything about a blue bar pin? Well, now, how many blue bar pins have I got? I don't know. So don't be bothering me about it. Well, if you can't find it, go look for it. Come to the head of them stairs and holler, and everybody will jump. But she'll get sadly left. I've got something else to do besides laying on her. You know, Clara, I think she's meeting this fellow at lunchtime. She's in the mornings here. She stands fixing herself in front of that glass so it's no wonder to me she don't drop on the floor. Well, I said to her one morning when she was settling herself there until I got tired of looking at her, I said, you must be going to see him today, ain't ya? And she says, he must be on your mind, isn't he? And I says, no. Most of it, he must be on yours. And I says, maybe after you get him, he won't think he was worth all the bobbin he went to because, you know, Clara, she don't know a thing about him. Oh, not a thing, except that he works at the Pennsylvania Freight Office. He did tell her that much, but she don't know whether he works there or not. Well, he could tell her anything and she'd believe him before she'd believe me. Well, that's the Pennsylvania Freight Office. Well, how do you know? Frank knows him. Frank Highland? Yes, he says he eats his lunch at the same place there at 15th and Arch. And does he say he knows him? Yes, he says that he's seen around him for a long time. And I often heard him talk about him, but I didn't know it was the same fellow. Frank always calls him Carpation Charlie. He says he's always got a big carnation at his butt hole. He's always got an eye on him and he comes here too. Frank says he's never seen him without it. I haven't either. And I believe in my heart, Clara, that that is what turned her head. You often see things like that, you know? The worst fool of a man can put a flower in his pocket and hand over one eye and have a dozen sensible women who'll be dying about them. Well, Frank says this fellow is his name. Well, he don't know who Frank Highland is, does he? No, Frank didn't tell him. He said he simply got talking to him and he mentioned that he was calling on a girl of this way named Fisher. So Frank asked him what his right name was and what he got home, he asked me about him. Well, is he sure it's the same fellow? He says his name was Piper. That's the name. Aubrey Piper. I never heard of such a name before, did you? Yes, I've heard the name of Aubrey. Well, I never did. Sounds to me more like a place than a name. Here she comes. Assistant. It'd be no use. Mom, you must have seen something in that blue bar in the mine. I can't find it anywhere. Well, I saw a pin of yours in one of them drawers a few days ago. I don't know whether it's there yet or not. Not only I saw it yet. All right, Mom, don't make a fuss about it. No, but you think by the way she said that I sat here all day with my two hands as Mom as each other. Well, did you find it? Yes. So I wonder if you wouldn't leave them drawers away to found them. She does this every time she goes near the blue bay. She's in such a rush lately. I'd like to see the kind of house that you'll be. It won't be anything like this, Mom. You might be very glad I had it out there in the kitchen. Put them in some water. Well, hers is coming. Let's see if I can watch there, Clara. Quarter past eight. I must tell her. I can't, stupid. And put it out of sight. I wonder I didn't do it when she was in here. I was home with her from the city. Every night he's coming. She must have flowers in the parlor. I told her I said that it'd be a long time before you bring any flowers home from the city to me. That's another new dress on her tonight, isn't it? Oh, she's having about a week. What's she getting so many new dresses for lately? Having those? I don't. I've never seen her since Easter. Trying to make him think she's rich, I guess. I told her. It says you might not get so many after you get him. Amy, be careful of those curtains if you're going to like that lamp in there. I think I'll go before he comes. Oh, you'd better unless you want to be here all night for once he starts talking you'll never get out. Oh. I'm not here yet. You'd know if he was. She stands out there in the vestibule until she sees him get off the trolley then she comes in and lets him ring. So, he won't think that she's waiting for him. You've never seen anyone so crazy about a fella. Well, I think somebody ought to tell her about her mom. Well, what's a bit of telling her and she'd only give you a look if it was anything about him. Well, I'd say something whether she'd give me a look or not. Remember what I'm telling you, Mom. It's you that'll have them on your hands if she takes him. I'll have them on my hands. Well, now, who else will, Mom? You could let Amy go out on the street and that's exactly where she'll land if she takes him. For you to know how well Amy could get along on $150 a month. It takes more than that to keep herself never named a house and a husband. That's all he gets, Mom, for he's only a clerk down there. Well, he told her he's ahead of the department. He's a clerk, Mom, like a hundred others down there. Frank knows what he does. Well, why don't you say something to her, Clara? Well, you know how much attention she paid to anything I'd say. Oh, she won't pay any attention to what anybody says. Especially if she knew it was Frank Highland and she thinks everyone's jealous they have him and jealous of her for getting him. So let her get him. She makes her bed, let her lie in it. That's the trouble, Mom. It's not always the one that makes the bed that lies in it. Well, it won't be anybody around here, I can promise you that. But you know what you are, Mom. We're Amy's concerns. Oh, don't be silly, Clara. Do you think your father would be listening to that rattle-bring night? He'd have to, wouldn't he? Or go out as he did tonight. Maybe this is Frank now. Oh, I couldn't get out there till nearly 8 o'clock. Frank says you know this fellow that comes to see our Amy. Who, Piper? Yes, the one that does so much talking. Yes, I know him. Frank, I think he's crazy. Well, I do, honestly. And our Papa and Joe says he thinks so, too. Mom said he told Amy he was head of the department, Frank. He did, Frank, and she believes him. But Clara says you say he's only a clerk down there. That's all he is, Mom. He isn't ahead of the department, Frank? Frank? I think you're pardoned. Would you sit here? I say he isn't. I had you if you told her that. Well, how much do that great clerk's get a month, Frank? I was talking to you. Oh, I think you're right. What'd you say, Mother? I say how? About $140 or $50. I don't know exactly, but I'm any more than that. Well, what do we get? He comes Wednesdays and Sunday nights, too. And if she ever takes him, she'll be the poorest woman in the city. Well, you know how our Amy likes to spend money. Well, she's got seven pairs of shoes up in that all closet. Amy certainly does let her money fly. Well, if she does, she earns it. She might as well have a good time while she's young, but knows what's ahead of her. Oh, here he is now. I know his friend. We'll go out the side door. Come on, Frank. Good night, Mother. Hey, you want to go to a picture, Clara? I don't care. It's only about 20 after 8. We can get the second show at Ronald Columbia. Frank? I wish you'd talk to Amy sometime and tell her what you told me. She won't believe me. I don't suppose she'd believe me, either, Mother. Right on the job. Hello. The primal with Billy. I'll take your hat. I'll bring your ship somewhere to come out here to see you. It is quite a trip for you, isn't it? Just one shining hour and a half, if you say it quick. By the little grill special. Hello. Say, Amy, wasn't that pulled up in last night's paper somewhere out this way? Yes, right over at Harry Avenue. A doctor's house, wasn't it? Yes, Dr. Donnelly. You know, they say they got nearly $2,000. I don't believe that, Amy. Why not? I don't think there's that much money in North Philadelphia. Yeah. You frightened me. Well, you ought to be very much scared Well, it's a wonder I'd be. Well, you've been jumping like that ever since I knew you. Well, why'd you come pussy-footin' in like that for when you know how nervous I am? Why didn't you come pussy-footin' in at all? You did so, or I'd have heard you. Well, you might have heard me if you weren't so busy listening to something that's none of your damn business. Well, it'll be something of my business if you spill any of that dirty old tobacco on my new tablecloth. I'll tell you that. Oh, I ain't spillin' any of it. Who's in there? Wendy. What'd they do with it? It's more than West Philadelphia joke to hear. He was asking her about that robbery yesterday morning over at Dr. Donnelly's. And when she told him that the bandits got away with nearly $2,000, he said it couldn't be true that there wasn't that much money in Philadelphia. Well, it wouldn't have to be much money up here to be more than what he's got. Do you know, Amy, I discovered tonight that I can save a full 15 minutes on this trip over here by transferring off 29th to the Lehigh Avenue car instead of going on in in up 19th. It is hard to be out here unless you use the part of the robbery. I hear some people say it's a great deal in this place. I don't know how you ever found West Philadelphia. Some people think they haven't found it yet. Lost somewhere between the Spookill River and Darby. Joey, come away from there. Don't be listenin' to that, Dan. Well, I wish I could. I wasn't listenin' to him. I was just seeing what he was saying. Well, he was asking her how she ever found this part of town to live in. And she was asking him how he ever found West Philadelphia. And he said West Philadelphia ain't been found yet. That it's lost somewhere between the Spookill River and Darby. Well, I wish the hell he had lost the one he'd like to bring here in the Spookill River. That could kill you too, you know. He's always dying laughing when he gets off one of them bum jokes. Well, nobody's got a laugh. That's the time I fooled you, Amy. Leave it to me to put it right over the plate. He's got Amy laughing now, too. The clock of ours has stopped again now. Yeah, it needs fixin'. Been fixed twice. Didn't you know good? Hmm, so here, there's a fella here who's been left a quarter of a million dollars, and he won't take it. Oh, what's the matter with him? Well, I mean, nothin' matters. I mean, he just won't take it. Well, he must be in his right mind, Warcoy. I wish somebody would leave me a quarter of a million dollars. He wouldn't know what to do with it if he did. What becomes of money like that, Neil, that people won't take? Well, I mean, nothin' to come to it at all. I just come get it. Who does? Well, the people that won't take it. I bet if they left it to me, they wouldn't have to come and take it. Who wouldn't have to come and take it? Well, the people that won't take it. Do you know what the hell you're even talkin' about, Neil? Yes, I know very well what I'm talkin' about, but I don't think you do. Well, let me read my paper. Oh, go and read your paper. I'm sure I don't want to talk to you anyway. Well, Joe, I am gonna have that like, taking out of the cellar. If you don't stop spending all your time down there. You don't want me hammerin' up here, do you? Well, I don't want you hammerin' anywhere. I want you out at night and gettin' some air, not be cooped up in that dusty old cellar. Who's in there? The Pennsylvania Railroad? Yes, and he's got about as much sense as yourself. You won't say that when you're listenin', when you're sittin' here, listenin' to the Grand Opera. Oh, I won't be listenin' to it, don't fret. I got somethin' else to do besides listenin' to a lot of dagos singin'. What's that, then? He says, when that radio thing is finished, I can sit here and listen to the Grand Opera. What's that, then, people singin'? Yes, and it goes way up high, you know, that queer's got under control up. Oh, it's all right if you let it run for a moment. What's the matter? All he wants is a drink of water. Stay right where you are, folks. Right where you are. Just a little social attention, goin' right out again on the next train. There you are, mother. Any woman's fancy, what do you say? Even to the little old carnation. Slept with the United Cats out there, Amy. Costumer in here waiting for the old aquapura. Man, it's gotta have somethin' to drink. How about a pop feel-stay with me on that, won't you? Yes, sir, I'd like to tell those of you who have ventured out this evening that this is a very pretty little picture of domestic felicity. Father reading, mother fitting. Oh, but then, mama is always knitting. That little old Tommy Edison over here working 18 hours a day to make the rich man richer and the poor man poorer. How about a popcorn? Shake it up. Right away. Dammit, let me alone. Get your damn hands to yourself. I've never seen such a damn cast in all my life. Come on. Being sore and going to leave us flat, bless, and notwithstanding, Mrs. Fisher, I'd like to mention that the kid from West Philadelphia is giving the growing boy the said and done. There she is, herself. And not a moving picture plushing as she gave it, looking down at her feet so bare and her spattered gown. How's that, Mother Fisher? Can't beat that little old Willy Shakespeare, can you? No, sir, I'd like to tell the brothers that Shakespeare Party shook a wicked sphere. Well, here's laughter, ladies. And Mr. Marconi, my best regards to you. I'm afraid it's not very cold. Why didn't you let it run? I did. Just didn't seem to get any colder. Very nice indeed. And a sweeter draft from a fairer hand was never quaffed. Oh, you. Thank you very much. I guess, sir, Mr. Joseph, I'd like to tell you your wasting time for when you're all through they'll offer you 20 cents for it and sell it for 20 million. Take it or leave it, side on the dotted line. Yes, sir, that's exactly what they did to little old yours truly here. Thank you, Lincoln Anacondas, for a formula that would have solved the greatest problem before the industrial chemical world today. A formula for the prevention of rust in iron and steel. A solution of vanadium and manganese to be added to the metal in its molten state instead of applied externally as they have been doing. What did you say, Albury? I said a simple combination of chemical elements to be added to the metal in its molten state instead of applied externally but simply because it was discovered by a working man that they saw they couldn't buy, they gave it to the swinging door. Yes, they'd rather go on paying a million dollars a year to paint their iron and steel structures throughout the country than pay me. Do you know why, Mrs. Fisher? I'll tell you, because I work for my living. That's the sudden done on the whole business. Keep them poor and get them married and then as my darling old mother used to say you've got them on their beams and hinges. Well, I don't see that anyone's trying to make anyone get married around here. That doesn't want to. But they do want to, Mrs. Fisher. But the capitalist wants to stop them. I guess it would be just as well to stop some of them. Ah, don't go back on a little of William Jennings' crying mother, Fisher. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, you know. Sign on the d- Yes, sir, Amy, I'd like to tell you it's the poor man that gets it every time. Rock in the cradle of the deep by lay me down in peace to sleep. Secure I rest upon the way for thou alone has the power to save. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What time is it now, Joe? Is that him singing in there? The old scientific American himself, supporter of 12. My God, what's he starting to see at this hour, poor? Talon should never be suppressed at any time. Well, it's a wonder Amy would have stopped him. Never seen a man yet that didn't think he could sing. The lady knows what time it is or she would have shut him up. Let the young man express himself. Oh, I could care if he bow his head off as far as I'm concerned. I'd be very glad that I don't want to wake your father up. And that's what he'll be doing, you know, the first thing. And then the battle beyond the fire for sure. Isn't that terrible, Joe? Do you think I ought to tell Amy no? No, give the boy a chance. Hooray! Shush! Sign on the dotted line. Don't encourage him for God's sakes, Joe. He's bad enough as it is. Time to tie it up. Put them lights out. I'm going up. It's nearly 12 o'clock. I'm also about to take my reluctant leave, Mrs. Fisher. I don't want to hurry you. In fact, the recent outburst was in the nature of a farewell concert. The little little song of twilight, you know, just soothed the savage breath. The damn fool. Good night, Mrs. Fisher. I guess she's gone out. And silence was her answer. Right you are, Amy. On the right side she is sleeping. Yeah? Is he going? He's covering something that'd keep the rust out of iron and steel. Wasn't that a scream? Well, that's what you're always talking about, ain't it? Yes, I was saying something to him about it one night here while he was waiting for Amy to come down. And he's forgot where I heard it. Can you imagine? I was wondering if you were getting that tonight. No. Never struck me till afterwards. He's a bird. What are you seeing now, Joe? The vestibule door is shut. In there? That was a nice trick that people did tonight. What? Everybody walking out of the room while all of you was talking. What did you want us to do? Sit here all night listening to him? Well, you wouldn't have had to sit here all night. He was only in here five minutes. Well, that's no thanks to him. What do I have been here till morning if someone hadn't done something? What did Pop get into such a temper about? Because he hit him on the back. And there was a lot to get mad about. Well, he's always hitting somebody on the back or the shoulder or something like that. And your father said the next time he did it that he was going to walk out of the room. Well, he can't say two words together without hitting somebody someplace. Well, no. I bet you won't get a chance to insult him again, Mom. I'll tell you that. Well, then let him stop his silly talk and he won't get insulted. Sign on the dotted line every two minutes and talking about Shakespeare. What kind of going on is that for a sensible man? It's no wonder our Joe says he's a knot. Well, everybody's a knot with the people around here. Oh, it ain't only the people around here that says it, Amy. Everybody that knows them says it. We needn't laugh where it's true. Who do you know that knows him? I know Frank Highland. Clarice! I know Frank Highland. Clarice husband. Yes, Clarice husband. Don't go making things up, Mom. Frank Highland never saw Aubrey Piper. No, didn't he? No, he didn't. Well, my lady, you're so smart he knows him better than you do. I don't believe it. Doesn't matter whether you believe it or not. He knows him just the same. He's been looking at him for years down at that restaurant and he says he's as crazy as a bass singer. Oh, I suppose that's what Clare was here to tell you about, wasn't it? Well, what does it matter who was here to tell it if it's true? Let me tell you something. Right now, Mom, I want to tell you something to tell our Clare for me the next time you see her. To mind your own damn bit. Going to a temper when anybody speaks to you. Say these things. That put me into a temper. Nobody around here is frightening me either. Our Clare might have been took who she wanted and I suppose you been and took who you wanted and if I want Aubrey Piper, I will take him. Well, take him then and the sooner, the better for it would be a pity to be spoiling two houses with you. Only remember this, Amy. If you do take him, be sure and that you keep him just you and don't be coming around crying for your pop to keep you. Oh, don't make me laugh. Oh, you can laugh all you like. There's a lot of that kind of laughing going on these days, but nothing of you but they'll get married. Well, you got married, didn't you? Yes, I did. Well, to a man that was able to keep me. And how do you know Aubrey Piper won't be able to keep his wife? Because I know what he earns and it isn't about what he earns. He earns $150 a month and not a penny more for Frank Highland says so. And what does Frank Highland know about it? Frank knows what he does. His business takes him there all the time. What does he say he does? He says he's a clerk, of course like a hundred others down there. Shows how much he knows about it. But I suppose he told you he owns the Pennsylvania railroad. Well, you know I take his word before I take Frank Highland. Why would you take his word before you take Frank Highland? Well, why shouldn't I? Because he's a fool of a bladder sky. That's only your opinion, Mom. That's the opinion of everybody that ever listened to him. But you believe him before you believe the word of a study sensible man. I don't know anything about Frank Highland. He only spent your brother in law for five years. What do you know about this other clown? What do you want to know? I don't want to know anything. I know all I want to know about him. And if having a fellow come to see me study, Amy, there's a few things I'd like to know about and I'll tell you that. I've told you where he lives. I've told you where he works. What else do you want to know? There is no talking to you, Amy. And there is no use talking to you either. This fellow has got you so crazy mad about him that I believe you take him if you knew he had a wife and family someplace and not two cents to his name. You know, I guess I'd get along some way, even if I did. All right. Everybody else does. That's the kind of talk that gets them living in garrets and back at their jobs not ten days after the wedding. You talk as though everybody is going to death. There are other ways of starving to death, Amy. Besides not getting enough to eat. And the funny part of it is, Amy, like a lot of others, you're very shrewd about money while you're home, as far as what you give your mother and father is concerned. But the minute some clown with a flower in his pocket and patent leather shoes winks at you, you seem to forget what you've done at Cole. And then it's just as our Clara says, it's your people that us to come to the rescue. I wish I'd been here while our Clara was talking. I told her a thing or two. Oh, you needn't try and turn it on to her. She wasn't talking at all. Oh, well, she must have been talking. She simply asked where you were. I told her you were getting dressed and that this fellow was coming over to see you tonight and she told me that Frank Highland knew him and knew where he worked and what he got and what he did. Well, you know what, Mom? I would just take him for Spike now. Well, let me tell you, Amy, the day a girl that's used to spending money the way you do takes a $35 a week man, the only one she's spiting is herself. Well, I would never ask anybody around here for help. He won't. Don't worry. I won't. Time will tell that, Lady Jane. I've heard the likes of you before. Now, put that way out and go to bed. It's 12 o'clock. I've seen anything of her. No, I haven't seen anything of her. I wonder where she is. Isn't she home? No, I just came by there. Well, she hasn't been here today. I guess she thought she might go out looking for a house today. I suppose she hasn't gotten back yet. I wanted to take her out to the automobile show tonight. I got the load of Harry Allred's car. Did you say she was out looking for a house? Yes, we've got to get out of that place we're in. The page printing people have bought up the whole block. They're going to put up a new building there. Well, how soon do you have to get out? As soon as we can find a new place, I suppose. I understand they want to begin tearing down the entire building here. I'm afraid you won't find it so easy to get a place as reasonable as that again in our room. I don't want a place as reasonable as that if I can get something better. I want a home. Something with a bit of ground around it. Or I can do a bit of tennis in the evening if I feel like it. Well, if you do, you'll pay for it. That is exactly what I expect to do, Motherfisher. I'm not giving you a short answer. That's what I expect to do. They're not putting up any more houses from what I can hear. Be yourself now, Motherfisher. Be yourself. Well, where are they? You'll have to go out along the boulevard some Sunday and see what they're doing out there. Well, there's no danger if you go out along the boulevard except for a walk. A lot of people out that way, Mother. Well, if there is, they're paying for it. Paying more than you're able to pay. Man's got to live somewhere, Mother. Well, if he's wise, he'll live where he's able to pay for it. The sides haven't got any furniture for a house, even if you got one. Unless you want to be sitting on the floor. The matter of furniture nowadays, little Mother, is a very inconsequential item from what I can get there. Well, you have to price it sometime when you're in the city and see how inconsequential it is. I've investigated the matter very thoroughly, Mother. And I find that there are at least 15 first-class establishments right here in this city that will furnish a man's house from Garrett to Garage and give him the rest of his life to pay for it. I need to give some of them the rest of their lives at the rate they're going now. Give the girl-in-boy a chance, Mrs. Fisher. Give the girl-in-boy a chance. What are you going to an automobile show for? Married five months ago to day, Mother. Got to celebrate the happy event. And besides, one never knows what a day will bring. In the way of an opportunity to satisfy a long-felt want. And since she knocks but won't set each man's door, the kid here doesn't want to miss his chance by any uncertainty as to just what choo-choo he prefers. Well, got to run along now, Mother. See if Amy's back at the house yet. Well, what'll I tell her? She comes after your time. Why, tell her I have got the load of Harry Elbrace car and then I wanted to see that new Jordan 6 I was telling her about out at the show and that'll be at Childs at 15th and Chestnut until 8 o'clock. 15th and Chestnut. That's the sudden none, Mother. The old cabbie and Fonte. Walking in that way like a ghost. When did you come in? Couple minutes ago. I've been in the parlor. Why, your man just left here. Didn't you see him? He's in the parlor. Well, he's looking for you. He wants to take you to some kind of an automobile show with him. Yeah, I know. I didn't want to go. I'm too tired. What's he doing about his supper? Well, I told him earlier to get something in town. I knew I wouldn't be home till late. He says you got to get out of that place that you're in. You know they're going to tear those places down? That's what I was doing today. Looking around for some place. Well, did you see anything? I saw a couple places that were fair. But they're asking too much money. Well, I'm afraid that's what you'll find, Amy. Wherever you go. $38 a month for a little two-story house that didn't even have a front porch. Well, you're surely not looking for house Amy, are you? Yes, if I could find one. And have you any idea what they're asking for houses these days? Well, Aubrey says he won't live in rooms much longer. No matter what he says. It's you who will have to stretch the money. And the money will only go so far. And the money he gets won't pay any $40 rents. You can make up your mind about that right now before you go any further. He doesn't want a pay rent. He wants to buy. What? On $32 a week? Well, there was a girl in our office that got married just before I got married. And the fellow she married didn't even get as much as Aubrey gets. Gets about $25 a week. He's a guard at the corn exchange bank. And they got a little house out in Kensington and they say it's beautiful. She's back at her job though, isn't she? Well, she never left her job. Well, that's how she's doing it. Well, Amy, you haven't got any furniture for a house even if you've got one. Always get furniture. You can if you have paid for it. But I don't know how you expect to do these wonders later on when you find it so hard to make ends meet right now with only the two rooms to pay for and your everlasting barn for me as it is. Well, I always pay you back, don't I? Well, you do when you get it. But that's not the point. It's what you get one week won't last you till the next. The reason I was short this week all because of that new overcoat. And the next week it's going to be something else. Listen, man can't be shabby in a position like Aubrey's. No. He says he's got nearly 80 clerks down there where he works and he says unless he sets some kind of example of personal parents there's some of them that come in in overalls. How much did he pay for that overcoat? $28. Oh, he didn't have to pay at all at once though. I said on account of it being so near Christmas he let it go to 1st February. I guess he'll be wanting his suit now. The first, you know, to go with the overcoat. No. His suit's alright in a while. Mine's beginning to go though. Weren't till I'm tired of looking at it. Well, people can't get things so handy once they're married. I tried to put away some money this week toward a suit. I don't know where the money went. It just seemed to go. I don't know. What will become of you, Amy? If ever you have a household of children to keep. I don't know what I'm going to do, Mom. I'm nearly going crazy. Well, I'll tell you what you're going to do if you're a wise woman. You're going to realize that you're married and that you've got some kind of house to keep up in just how much money it's going to be to keep it up on. And then you're going to suit your ideas according. And if you don't, Amy, you're going to have plenty of Brian to do, and you'll have no one to thank for yourself. For you've had nothing but impudence for them that tried to tell you how many beans make five. I guess this is your father. And I haven't even got the potato side. Now, with you, Clara, I'm going to give you any word with me for you this morning. Well, he hasn't been home here today. I'm sure it was our Joe. She said it was, and I suppose she knows his voice. She's answered the phone when he's called often enough. Maybe it was some news about that before we love those people who are interested in. I guess it'll be an old man before he overhears that. Stop her on. You'll be here around six. Can I tell you, she's got to get out of those rooms she's in. Yes. We're going to tear those houses down. So, she was telling me. What's she going to do? Come in here to live? Now, that's a sensible question for you to be asking. Clara, you know how she's coming in here to live. Where else will she go? With the rents the way they are now. Unless she goes back to work. She has to look around. What good will it do her to look around? She won't find anywhere as reasonable as where she is now. And when she can't pay that, how does she expect to pay anymore? How do you know? I'm not going to pay my rent for anything else. Now, don't start a fight here. Your pop will be here any minute. No, but I want to know what business it is of hers. Whether or not asking her to pay it for me. It's a bit late for the day to talk that way, Amy. Your husband's been in Frank Highland twice already paid for you. It's time you quit this posing in front of me. I know how you're fixed better than you do yourself. Now, do you hear that, Mom? Will you stop your talk? Do you want your father to walk in and hear you? She says that Aubrey Piper has been to Frank Highland's twice for the loan of our rent. So, we have... You're a liar. Do you right now, Amy, stop your talk? Well, I'll make her prove what she says you're just the same. No, it's very easily proved. Just come over to the house some night and I'll show you a few of his letters. What do you do? Open them? I do now, since I found out who they're from. Clara, are you saying that he writes to Frank Highland for money? Oh, no, he doesn't. Nothing of the kind. It's just another one for lies. I'm not talking to you, Amy. She makes things up. For this minute that he's written with in the past... He writes letters for... For money, so he can pay $7 for seeing the football game as he did Thanksgiving afternoon. Well, Frey saw him there. Why isn't he just asking for the money when he sees them instead of writing to him? Suppose he thinks a written request is more appropriate coming from one of the heads of the Pennsylvania Freight Office. How much does he ask for when he asks him? There's one. A couple of weeks ago, for $300. $300? That's what the letter said. Well, what would he have wanted $300 for, Amy? Well, you know, why don't you ask her? She's gonna make things up. Oh, you wouldn't believe it, even if it was true if it was against him. I wouldn't believe it, anyway. You wouldn't believe your own mother never named her sister, or she'd do it, maybe like a wildcat when I told her he wore a wig. And she knows it herself by this time. She's for him, Mom. And the sooner you get that in your head, the better. Oh, I know very well she is. You needn't tell me that. And she turned on anyone belonging to her for him. Well, the idea of asking for $300, suppose he wanted to buy an automobile or something. That's where he is tonight, you know. Down at the automobile show and not two cents in his pocket. I think that's what he did want the money for. Well, wouldn't surprise me. The damn fool. Be more fitter for him to be thinking about getting the house to live in. He doesn't think he needs to think about that. He thinks he's coming in here. Coming in here to live? Do you mean? That's what he told Frank the day before yesterday. Well, he is fitter and much mistaken. If he thinks that, I can tell you that. I'd like to be listening to that fella seven days of the week. Rather go live with your Aunt Nellie in Newark. That's about what you'll have to do, Mom. Do you ever let them in on you? Oh, I won't let them in on me. Don't fret. Your father would have something to say about that. Pop might not always be here, Mom. Well, I'll be here if he isn't. And the furniture is mine and there is very little danger of mine walking on and leaving it to any son-in-law. I can tell you that. Well, I guess this is your father right now and I haven't even got the kettle on. Come here. Don't let her hear you. Listen, Clara. Pop had some kind of stroke this afternoon at his work. Popped it? Yeah, they found him lying in front of one of the boilers. My God! I tried to get you on the phone around 4 o'clock. I know. I came right over as soon as I came in. You'd better tell Mom. Joe! What? Where's Pop now? They took him to the Samaritan hospital. I just came from there. They telephoned me to the office. Well, is he very bad? I think he's done. Don't say that, Joe. That's what the doctor at the hospital says. He hasn't regained consciousness at all. So you'd better tell Mom to get her things and go right down there. I have to change my clothes. I wouldn't write it at work. Joe! What? That's Samaritan hospitals at Broad, Ontario, isn't it? Yeah. He's late tonight. He's nearly always here before this. What's the matter with her? I don't know. Something Joe just told her. What is it, Clara? Something about your father? Is that one upstairs any and called child or something that happened to your father? I'm kind of this afternoon at his work. They had to take him to the hospital. Joe just came from there. He says you'd better get her things on and go right down there. Here, sit down here. What you saying happened to your father? Amy? No, it's nothing to get excited about, Mom. It might just be a little heart attack or something that he took. There's never been anything that mattered with your father's heart. Well, it's pretty hot down there when you work, so you know that. And menopops, they always have little spells of some kind. I guess it's a stroke, Clara. It might not be, Mom. You can't tell. Well, that's how his two brothers went, you know. Amy, run next door and tell Frank to tell the phone to tell Frank Hyland they won't be home. If he isn't in yet, tell her to come down to the Samaritan hospital and tell Dr. Carverson to go to the corner for a taxi. Is that where your father is down at the Samaritan hospital? Yes, it's right down there whenever he works. Oh, your poor father. I wonder what happened to him. No, there's no use looking on the dark side of it already, Mom. I don't know, but me getting his supper out there and him not coming home to it at all and maybe never coming home to it again, Clara, for all we know. He'll be home again, Mom. Pop's a strong man. I guess he's dead now, and you're not telling me. He's not dead, Mom. I tell you if he was. Well, what does Joe say? Just what I told you. That he had a spell of some kind. What's he doing upstairs anyway? He's changing his clothes. He's got to go right back down there. Oh, I guess he's crying, you know. It'll kill our poor Joe if something happens to your father. He says we better go right down there, too, Mom. So you better go upstairs and fix yourself up a bit. Give me your apron. I don't know if I can dress myself or not. My hands are like lead. You don't need to get all fixed up. I'm just so wasted. That skirt's good enough. Mom, I'm not going down there looking like a dago woman. We'll see you in the dark. Well, it won't be dark in the hospital unless something happens to some of the lights. Well, put that gas out. I'll get you that potato. Get this room up a little. You never know who might be coming over when they hear about your father. I'm so sad. I don't know what I'm doing. You better bring your umbrella down there, too, Mom. I looked like Frank when I came in. And I let our A.D. take my rubbers the last day she was here. And she never rinsed anything back. You won't need rubbers. Then I'll get all my feet wet when I don't have rubbers. My God! What happened to you? It's beginning to rain. Well, never mind the rain. The rain didn't do that to you. I guess you ran into somebody, didn't you? Don't get excited now, Mother. Just a little misunderstanding on the part of the traffic officer. Oh, you don't mean to tell me that you ran into a traffic officer, too? Oh, now, little Mother. I assure you there is no occasion for undue solicitation. Good evening, Mrs. Highland. What happened to your head? It looked like a van. It was a various-triple, Mrs. Highland. Just a little spray from the windshield. Where is the car that you borrowed? Smashed, I guess. The car I borrowed, Mother Fisher, is now in the hands of the bandits of the law. The judicial gentleman who ventured into a conspiracy with the regulators of traffic to collect fines from motorists by ordering them to go one way and then swearing they told them to go another. You talk. We've heard too much of that already. I want to know who you killed or what you ran into, or I know you ran into something. And where is the automobile that somebody was fooling up to lend you? The automobile, little Mother, is perfectly safe park and pasturing. In the courtyard of the 22nd and Huntington Park Avenue police station. Did you let yourself arrested, too? I accompanied the officer and I told them while I was there, too, a thing or two about the condition of traffic in this city. I guess they told you a few things, too, didn't they? See if my long black coat is in the cellar way there, Clara. This cellar's got me so upset I don't know what I'm doing. Scented by me when I like to stand on. So they tried to cover themselves up as gracefully as possible by trumping up a charge against me of driving an automobile without a license. What did they do? Take the automobile away from you? Oh, nothing of the sort. They simply complied with the usual procedure in the case of this kind, which is to release the defendant on bond pending the extent of the victim's injuries. Was there somebody injured? The traffic cop that ran into me, yes. For God's sake, couldn't you like anyone but the traffic cop to run into? I did not run into him, Mrs. Island. You don't understand the circumstances of the case. I understand this much about them. The years for a thing like that had served you just right if they did, too. Farrowing people's automobiles and knowing no more about running them than I did. No time like the present to learn, Mrs. Island. Well, you'll very likely have plenty of time from now on. Is that officer seriously injured? Hey, he was faking a broken armor out there when I left. Was he in a car, too? No, he was jaywalking trying to beat me to the crossing after giving me the right of way. But where did this thing happen? Fraud and eerie avenue. Why wouldn't it kill you? Did they take the cop to the hospital? Yes, we took him over there in the car. Did they let you run it? Repeat the question, Mrs. Island. You heard me. I don't need to repeat myself. And take that silly looking bear to jaw your head before ABC's here. Don't fright the life out of her. Is my wife here? She's next door on telephone, yes, and she'll be back in a minute. Pop had some kind of stroke this afternoon at his work. Joe just told us. What are you doing? Kidding me? I'm not kidding you. What would I be kidding you about a thing like that for? Where is he now? At the Samaritan hospital. We're just going down there now. What's the matter, Aubrey? Whoa, the old kid herself. What is it, Aubrey? Nothing in the world but this, baby. Right for the phone, Amy. No, he wasn't home yet. Told the girl to tell him as soon as he came in. What did you think of that, fellow Amy? Running wild through the city and breaking policemen phones? Would he have enough trouble without that? Would your poor father dead for all we know down in the Jewish hospital? No, it just looks. Oh, it must be upstairs. Joe. Joe, Aubrey. Well, listen, Joe. I had a little mix-up at Broad and Erie Avenue. You think that hurt? A little shake-up. He nearly killed a police officer. That's how much of a little shake-up it was. Did you? Certainly not, Amy. Your mother's raving. The man is in the hospital and I know what more you want. Is he, Aubrey? Did you think I'd be here, kid, if he was? You wouldn't be here. Oh! Only that son of a bitch would not to bail you out in a state where you could be someplace safe and not killing people. Joe, why- This one's good enough. I'll keep the coat buttoned up. Put that collar inside, Clara. They always bail a man in a case like this, Amy. They've got my car in their hands. Get my hat, will you, Clara? Where is it? Upstairs? No, it's in the parlor there inside the top of the trolley. Why don't you bring your car back with you, Aubrey? The father might want it tomorrow. Oh, I'll have it for him, all right? I've got to call around there Monday morning at ten o'clock for it. I guess you gotta go to a hearing there. Monday morning at ten o'clock and pay a fine. I guess that's the automobile we've got to call for. Better go out and get a whisk for him and dust this, Mom. Oh, never mind. It's good enough. Give it to me. Your coat needs dusting. How much did they find you, Aubrey? They didn't find me at all. That Monday morning. I will tell that Mother Fisher. And you'll pay it, too, or go to the gym. And that would be just the pricey view. They didn't seem very anxious to do any finding today after I got through telling it to them. Am I all right, Clara? I took a slam at the Pennsylvania Railroad, too, while I was at it. You're always taking a slam at something. I guess that's what's leaving you under bail right now. Are you ready, Clara? I'll get some ready. Never mind about that, Mother Fisher. A quiet little shake-up very soon in the Department of Public Safety. Are you sure that that coat is warm enough on your Clara? Yes, I'm all right. How about your umbrella? Oh, I think it's out there in the whole red. A thousand berries, Amy. $1,000? That's regulation. A little chicken feed for the school pigeons. Did he say they put him under bail for $1,000? That's what I said, Mrs. Fisher. $1,000. Highland, could you? You wouldn't kid anyone that he'd listen to you for five minutes. And who did you get to go your bail for $1,000? Don't be alarmed, Mother Fisher. I saw that the affair was kept strictly within the family. What would he mean? Your other son-in-law was kind enough to come forward. Here, Francis X Highland. My God, did you hear that, Clara? What? He got Frank Highland to go his bail for $1,000. What did you do? Write him another letter? That was not necessary. I'll give you a short answer. Your husband was fortunate enough to see the whole affair from the trolley car. He was just returning from his business and he happened to be on the trolley car that ran into me. How many more things ran into you? Besides traffic cops and trolley cars, a couple of the buildings ran into you too, didn't they? Are you ready? Yes, we're ready. You'll find out all about that Monday. Well, see that nothing else runs into you between now and Monday. We don't want Frank Highland losing any $1,000 bills on account of you. What's the matter? What is crazy? Jack's been running wild through the city and hit everything with Edward ourselves, thought himself arresting Frank Highland for $1,000. What were you doing on? Joyriding? No, he was traffic cop riding and trolley car riding and everything else riding in an automobile that he borrowed. How do we get down there, Clara? Right down the area. Too bad I left that car down there at the station house. I could have run you down there. You wouldn't run me down there, not if you had a thousand cars. There's enough of us in the hospital as it is. And don't you come down there, neither, for you'd only start talking and that'd be finished cop quicker than a stroke. Are you coming out of the hospital, Amy? No, Amy, you better be here. There better be some one of us here. That fellow would be running into the house. You ought to have something heavy on you than that to call my lay-ups. Oh, it's in my pocket here. Not a bit, honey. It's just a couple of little scratches. I think they'll do to you down there, Monday. Don't you worry, sweetheart. I'll be right there if they try to pull anything. You haven't had anything to drink, have you, Aubrey? Who? Me? Someone might have treated you or something. I had a glass of champagne six months ago with a friend of mine in his suite at the Rich Carleton Hotel and I haven't had a drink of anything since. Let me take your coat, Aubrey. We'll have to wait here till they get back. Yes, I guess we will. I wonder how your father is. Not too good, I guess. Otherwise, we went to telephone for Joe. Did they telephone for Joe? Yes. We went to the place where he works. Your mother said it was a stroke. It's probably what it is, too. His two brothers died that way. I'm sorry to hear that, Amy. But you wasn't worried now, kid. It isn't only that I'm worried about. I'm worried about you, Monday. Now, don't you know, baby, I tell you if there was anything to worry about. The traffic laws in this city have gone so strict and there have been so many automobile accidents lately. They are only strict, honey. When a man is driving under the influence of liquor. What is that traffic cop is her bad? It'd be only a fine for reckless driving even if they could prove it was reckless driving. And I can prove it was the copper's fault. So they'll very likely be apologizing to me around there Monday morning instead of finding me. I wouldn't mind if they only find you. I could go back to work till it's paid off. You'll never go back to work while I'm on the boat, kid. I wouldn't mind it. Not while you're my wife, Amy. I'd rather leave you alone. I'd rather leave you alone. I'd rather leave my wife, Amy. I'd rather leave the Pennsylvania Railroad flat and go out and take one of the jobs that have been offered me where they pay a man working his work. They'll do anything else to you down there Monday, do you? They might try to take away my license. You haven't got a license, have you? No, I neglected to attend to it this year. They can find you for that, can't they? Driving an automobile without a license, you mean? Yes. Sure, they can find you for anything unless you know how to beat them to it. I wonder who that is. Do you want me to answer it? Yes, it might be something about pop. Does my head look all right? It looks all right, Audrey. Wait a minute. What do you think, sir? This is Mr. Fisher's residence, yes, sir. What can I do for you? I got some dishes. Oh, just step in here. Would you get a little colder, I think? Look for any time now. Just step in this way, would you? This is a gentleman here, Amy. Put some things belonging to your father. Good evening. This is my wife, Mrs. Piper. How do you do? Mrs. Piper is Mr. Fisher's daughter. The rest of the folks have gone down to the hospital. Have you heard anything from the hospital yet? Not yet, no. We haven't heard anything at all until 15 minutes ago. That's too bad. Those hospitals won't tell you anything. No, ma'am, I'm a twist on the second floor. My father knows that I live out this way, so he asked me to step out of these things on my way home. Thanks. It's the hat and the overcoat and his lunch. McMahon says if there's anything else, he'll tell me. I don't suppose there's anything else. If there is, I'll bring it up. Thanks. There's so much obliged you. Who is this McMahon? I just want to machine his helpers down there. I see. I don't think my father was taken ill. No, ma'am, I wasn't. McMahon says he talked to him about a quarter or three, and when he came back from the annex at three o'clock, he found him laying there in front of number five. Very likely a little touch-up in China, Victoria. The doctor down there says he thought it was a straw. Uh-uh, same thing. No, ma'am, I can't stay. I got to get along home. Do you live out this way, Governor? No, about Richmond way. I take number 32 about Allegheny Avenue. Too bad my car is laid up. I couldn't run you out there. Right to China takes you right to the door. I had to turn it in Thursday to have the bells crowned. I feel like so. Very likely somewhere from the hospital. Ah, open any bad news. Well, you know you've got to be prepared for most anything, Governor, when a man gets up around the old three-score mark. That's true. A lot of people talk about that age. Especially when a man's worked hard all his life. I guess Mr. Fisher worked pretty hard. It's not an excuse in the world for it, either. I've said it to him a thousand times if I've said it to him once. Well, Pop, what are you going to take the big rest? Oh, he'd say, I have plenty of time to rest when I'm through. Ah, I guess when you worked his out with Mr. Fisher all his life, it's hard to just quit all of a sudden. Well, he wouldn't have to quit, exactly. I mean, he's a handyman. He could putter around the house. There are lots of things around here that I'm not any too well satisfied with. Is Mr. Fisher's wife living? Yes, she's here with us, too. That makes it nice. Yes, well, it's a pretty big house here. I married last June, I said, come ahead, the more the merrier. She's a pretty big house, then. Yes, they don't make them like this any more, government. Oh, yeah, you have more of the streets to get all any kind of house these days. Yes, well, I have a friend here in town who's very close with the city architect, and he was able to fix it for me. That's a nice street. Nice and summer. I was surprised to see Cycus. One house detective kept driving down there. He says he never heard of it. Never heard of Crescent Street? No, he said not. That must be an awful struggle. That's a police officer. Well, I'll tell you, governor, I don't suppose they get many calls for taxi cabs up this way. You see, most everyone in through here has his own car. I see. Some of them have a dozen for that matter. It certainly explains knocking around. All over the ice. Oh, this way, governor. Oh, excuse me. That door goes into the park. Yeah, I died out at the Port of Stoices. There was some smash up about a half an hour ago down a road near the avenue. That's so... Yeah, he says some nut was smashing into everything in sight. He napped out a police officer and broke his arm. Do you know what to do to that guy? Not that a traffic cop did? What was the matter with him? Was he stewed? No! The fella down there said... He says the car didn't even belong to him. He must have gotten it somewhere. They took it away from him and pitched him. So he's not running anybody else for a while. Traffic is in pretty bad shape in this town right about now. Oh, it certainly is why you fellas don't say walking down the sidewalk these days. I hope your wife will have some good news. Well, of all this life there's hope, you know? That's right. Don't use looking on the dark side of things. Well, where do you get your car, governor? Well, I just get one in a corner and a transmitter. Oh, so you can. Well, we're ever so much obliged to you. Yeah, don't mention it. Good night, sir. Good night. What's the good word? Don't let it get you, honey. You have nothing to regret and nothing to fear. The kid from West Philly will never go back on you. You know that, don't you, baby? You know that, don't you, Amy? Amy? What? You know I'm with you, don't you? Yeah. Don't cry, honey. The old man's better off than we are. He knows all about it now. How does we ought to do, Aubrey? So nothing we can do that I can see, sweetheart, except sit tight until the folks get back. We'll be down there themselves in a few minutes now, and they'll know all about it. Please say the pop died in a quarter to six. What's at the hospital on the telephone? Yes. Something we ought to have in here, Amy, a telephone. Not be letting the whole neighborhood in on our business. Just sit in that chair over there. It'll be funny not to see him sitting there anymore. The old gen had to go sometime. Your mother'll have you and me to comfort her now. I don't know how she's going to get along just on Joe's peg. Why don't you say something to her about letting us come in here? She'll need a man in the house. My salary to cover the rent. Mom doesn't have to pay rent, Aubrey. She owns this house. You know, Pop wrote out the will just a week after we were married. Claire had to do it. Who's the executor, do you know? Claire is. Too bad your father didn't make me the executor of that will. I could have saved him a lot of money. Suppose he thought unaccounted for being the oldest. I wonder why your father never liked me. Pop never said he didn't like you, Aubrey. I always tried to be clubby with him. I used to slap him on the back whenever I spoke to him. Pop was always very quiet. And the kid from West Philly had too much to say. Well, forgive and forget. It's all over now. And the old man can be as quiet as he likes. How do you think to eat today, happy Aubrey? Don't worry about me, sweetheart. It'll be all the same at the finish, whether I've had my dinner or not. Sick transit Gloria Mundi. And we never get used to it. The paths of glory lead but to the grave. Yet we go on building up big fortunes. Only to leave them to the generations yet unborn. Well, so it goes. And so it will always go, I suppose. Sick transit Gloria Mundi. What does that mean, Aubrey? Sick transit Gloria Mundi? Why, it's an old saying from the French, meaning, if we're here today, I'm gone tomorrow. Don't worry about tomorrow, Aubrey. What are you worried about, sweetheart? Monday. Now, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. You know that, don't you, baby? You haven't got a license, and if that traffic cop was badly injured. Don't you worry about it, sweetheart. We're here today, and if he was badly injured, we'll know all about it on Monday. Sick transit Gloria Mundi. Now, Mrs. Fisher, if you'll just sign this paper right over here. Right here? That's right. Once again, if you would, Mrs. Fisher. In the same place? Yes, sign on the dotted line. It's just a duplicate. Mr. Penn. Thank you. And here you are, Mrs. Fisher. $1,000. Thank you. Well, that's the money we like to pay, Mrs. Fisher. And the money we don't like to pay. No, things like this are never very pleasant when this kind of money is being paid out, Mr. Rogers. Well, at least it doesn't make things any less pleasant, Mrs. Fisher. No, I'm sure I don't know what a lot of folks do without it. Well, it's very hard to convince many of them of that, Mrs. Fisher. Yes, I guess we don't think much about trouble when we're not having it. A lot of people think they're never going to have trouble, and they're never going to need a dollar. They're very foolish. Very foolish indeed. Everybody will have trouble if they live long enough. Yes, indeed. Well, now, what do I do with this check, Mr. Rogers? Why, anything you like, Mrs. Fisher, you can deposit it, you can have it cashed, just whatever you like. Frank will get a cash for you all in downtown. I'm not used to having $1,000 checks, you know, Mr. Rogers. I'm not very used to them either, Mrs. Fisher, except to give them to somebody else. Well, will you take this then, Claire? I'm going to give it to Frank Highland. Yes, I'll give it to him tonight. Mrs. Fisher, would you give this to your son-in-law, Mr. Piper? What is it? Well, it's a little description of a very attractive accident policy that our company has just came out with, I was talking to Mr. Piper about it when I called for Mrs. Fisher's policy and he seemed very interested. In fact, I find that people are a lot more susceptible to the advantages of a good insurance program when they actually see one being paid out to somebody else. Now, this particular policy here, it's a kind of a combination of accident, life insurance, disability and dividend benefit. Why, we contend there is not another product on the market today with the return and stability of that product right there. It is, we think, it's almost benevolent. Well, how much is it for? Well, you know, we have them for $10,000, but Mr. Piper, he wanted our $50,000 policy. Well, it is no wonder she's laughing, Mr. Rogers. Her opinion, Mr. Piper, as well as she does, he laughed, too. He's got about as much notion of taking out a $50,000 policy as I have and just about as much chance of paying for it. He seemed very interested, Mrs. Fisher. He was showing off, Mr. Rogers, what he's always doing, but that fellow don't make enough salary in six months to be paying a year's premium on a policy like that. It's very strange that he would talk about it a lot if he had no intention of taking it. He never has any idea when he talks, Mr. Rogers. That's the reason he does it so much. It's no effort. It's particularly funny because I had talked to him about the $10,000 policy, but he was only interested in the $50,000 accident policy. Well, I can understand him being interested in the accident part of it after last Monday. I suppose you heard about him running into everything last Monday night. Did he yield down on Broad Street in Erie Avenue? That was Mr. Piper! That was him! He ran into a traffic officer and broke his arm. I saw that in the paper, but our paper said Pepper, not Piper. Well, it was spelled Piper in our paper. Who the fuck did you do about that, Mrs. Fisher? Well, he's got there today at the magistrate's getting his hearing. God knows what they'll do with them for he didn't own the automobile he was driving and didn't have a license to drive. That's really unfortunate. But he'll very likely tire the magistrate out so with his talk that the man will discharge him just to get rid of him. Well, he certainly won't want to see me when he comes back today, Mrs. Fisher. He may not be back for six months. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Good afternoon, Mrs. Island. Good afternoon, Mrs. Fisher. Good afternoon, Mr. Rogers. You're here. I don't understand them insurance papers. What do you think they'll do with all that money, Mom? Why? I think I'll put it in a bank somewhere. Everything's paid for, and then I'll have something in my old days. Do you want me to put the check right into the bank for you? No, I want to see the money first. But can you believe that, Clara, talking about a $50,000 policy and human debt up to his eyes? What does that mean, Mom? You could never change a man like Piper. No, but I hate to see him making such a fool of Amy and all of us with his name and all the papers and the whole city lack of manner. He doesn't mind that, Mom. He likes it. But Amy's married to him, Clara. That's the trouble. Amy doesn't mind either, Mom, because Mom, because it's all free. She doesn't mind it. She's got any pride. She's in love with him, Mom. She doesn't see him with the same eyes that other people do. Oh, you're always talking about love. You give me a pain. Well, don't you think she is? Well, how do I know whether she's in love or not? I don't know anything about people being in love, except they act silly, most everybody that I know of that ever was. She might have taken worse, Mom. He does his best. He works every day and he gives her his money. No one ever heard of him looking at another woman. He's such a rattle-brain, Clara. There are harder things to put up within a man than that, Mom. I know he's terribly silly and talks too much, but I don't know. I feel sorry for him. He'd so love to be important. And of course, he never will be. Well, I swear, I don't know how she stands the everlasting talk with him. He's been here nearly a week and I'm telling you, Clara, I'm just about lightheaded. I'll be glad when they go. I'd rather have a man that talks too much, Mom, with one of those silent types, honestly. Sometimes I think if Frank Highland doesn't say something, I'll go out of my mind. Well, what do you want him to say? Nothing. Just like no one had a voice. Well, he's too sensible. A man clearer to be talking when he's got nothing to say. I don't think it's so sensible, Mom. Never to have anything to say. Well, lots of men are that way in the house. But there are children there. It isn't so bad. Well, if Amy ever has any children and they have as much to say as their father, I don't know what will become of her. She'll get along some way. People always do. But leaning on someone else, that's how they get along. But if she's in love with the man she's married to and he's in love with her and their children... I never saw such a married woman so full of love. I suppose that's because I never had any of it long. Don't your man love you? He loved someone else before he met me. Well, how do you know? The way he talks sometimes. Why didn't he marry her? I think he lost her. I remember one time he said to me, Always be kind, Clara, to anyone that loves you. For he said a person always loses what he doesn't appreciate. And he said it's a terrible thing to lose love. He said you never realize what it was worth until you've lost it. I think that's why he gives Piper a hand once in a while. Because he sees Amy's in love with him and he wants to make things easy for her. Because I have an idea. He made things pretty hard for the woman that loved him. Well, a body can't have everything in the swirled Clara. Oh, maybe this is them now. Why not? Amy wears Aubrey Piper. Are you coming? Is Frank with him? Yes. Are you sick? No. Well, you look sick. Well, I have a headache. We had to wait in line so long. Why don't I get you lots of water? Will I make you a cup of tea? You know a lot. I can do it myself. It won't take a minute. What do they do to Aubrey down there? Find him. $1,000. Recklessness and tragedy without a license. Did Frank pay it? No. He was very responsible for it. How can you ever pay back $1,000, Amy? I can go back to work. I can always go back to the office. Well, he was either in that or six months in jail. I'm glad you said we couldn't have that. Was there anybody there that we know? I didn't see anybody. Was the traffic cop there? Yes. There were 14 witnesses. You know, the traffic cop's arm was broken and they were there too. When do you think they'll go back to work? As soon as I get settled, you know, there's no use in me going back now. I only have to leave again pretty soon. Does Mom know? Haven't told her yet. Don't worry about it, Amy. I wish to God it was me. What did you say, Amy? She's just gone to the parlor there. You in there, Amy? I didn't finish the store. I didn't think it was worth a while. See, you're back again. Doing business at the old stand. Frank, I can tell you that. Oh, what's the trouble? Well, I'm in trouble because of all the bother you've been put to in this business. Don't worry about that, Mother. We're all going to have a little bother once in a while. What did they do down there today, Frank? Why? I'll tell you what they tried to do. I'll shut up you. Nobody wants to hear what you've got to say about it at all. I told them down there what I had to say about it, whether they wanted to hear it or not. I guess they let you go just to get rid of you. Why don't you take your coat off, Frank? I've got to meet that fellow at North Philadelphia Station at four o'clock. What did they say to that fellow down there today, Frank? Oh, nothing very much, Mother. Just a little rep around her driving without a license. Well, didn't they find him for breaking that man's arm? Little, but not very much. You see, there was more or less the nature of an accident. Well, how much was it? Now, Mrs. Fisher, as Aubrey says, it's all washed up and signed on the dotted line. Oh, no! What is it? Do you know? Well, I bet you paid it, Frank, whatever it was, for I know you didn't have it. Well, Mother, you know, it's getting near Christmas. We all got to give a little present here and there. Well, I hate to see you running around paying for that fellow's mistakes. That's all we're really doing in this world, Mother. Paying for somebody's mistakes. And somebody paying for ours, I suppose. Well, don't seem right to me. Well, Mother, when you made a few mistakes that can't be paid for, well, you make up for them by paying for those that can. Will you be home for dinner tonight, Frank? What did you say? I say will you be home for dinner tonight? I don't think so. More than likely have to have dinner with him. Good night, Mother. Good night, Frank. Good night, dear. Good night. What? Didn't he tell you how much they find Aubrey? He did not, really. Didn't she tell you when I was out putting the tea on? Well, what does it matter, Mom? You won't have to pay it. Well, I'll find out. It'll very likely be in the evening paper. Don't say anything to her, even if it is. Amy has enough to bother now. Ah, she's brought it on herself if she has. No one could tell her anything. There's nothing to be done by fighting with her, Mom. Well, there's nothing can be done by anything once the main thing is done, and that's the marriage. That's where all the trouble starts, getting married. There were no marriages, Mom. There'd be no world. Oh, everybody says that. If there'd be no marriages, there'd be no world. Well, would there? Well, what if there wouldn't? Would it be any worse than it is now? Well, a lot of lipids getting married and not too sensed to their name and then throwing themselves on them people to keep them? They're so full of love before they're married. What about the other one ever? We're talking about love after they got married. It's no wonder you have a roof over your head, or they never have, with that kind of talk. Like, the two of them there in the parlor that has to kiss every time they meet on the floor. And you're just going to have a child, Mom. Why didn't she tell me? I suppose she thought it would start a fight. Well, I don't know why it would start a fight. I never fight with anyone. Except him, and I wouldn't fight with him only for his impudence. Do you about coming in here to live? Well, she said something about it the night your father was laid out, but I wasn't paying much attention to her. I think you ought to let her come in here, Mom. She'd be company for you now that Pops gone. Who knows what day Joe might take a notion to get married. Well, let's change your mind so much. Claire, about letting her come in, you were very much against it when she was married. I'd be against it still if things around here were the way they were then. You didn't even own this house, Mom. It was Pops when they were married. And I knew if anything ever happened to him and there was no will, you might not find it so easy to order anybody out of it. It's not that I would mind letting Amy come in, Claire, but I don't want to please him. For I know the first thing I know is he'd be telling everyone that he let me come in. Oh, I wouldn't put it fast if he's told bigger lies than that. And if I ever found out that he did that, he'd be out of here in five minutes, bag and baggage. Now, see who that is, Clara. Now, here, if you want a cup of tea. All right. Let's see you all at the room. Oh, thanks, honey. I don't care for any just now. Right, dude. You know me. Yeah, look at you, Mommy. Yes, she's getting some tea. Yes, watch. How do you do? How do you do? And how is the young man? I can't complain. Is this my father's watch? Yes, ma'am. He was to fish his dye. Yes. I believe my mother gave my father this watch when they were married. Thanks ever so much. My man said he didn't see it before. He found it on the time shock, back in number five. I see. This is the gentleman that brought Huff's other things home. Oh, is that so? I stopped by the day he was to fish his dye. How is it you're not working today, Governor? Monday's and Tuesday's with me. Oh, this is a rule. I see. But the hunkies always bring their stuff home. You've got to keep right after them. I guess I'll be getting along. I've never seen much of life to you for bringing this watch up. Don't mention it. Yeah, I'm just sorry about the reason I have to do it. Yes, it was very sad. Mr. Fisher was a high-working man. I suppose he worked too hard for his age. Yes, I guess he did. You couldn't stop him, though. Actually, Brother-in-law was telling me the day I was here. He kept trying to get him to quit and take a rest. But I guess when he worked as hard as Mr. Fisher all his life, it's hard to quit all of a sudden. I guess you're right. Mr. Piper, I didn't know that was you that was in that smash-up I was talking about the day I was here. That's so. I know about it till I saw your picture in the paper the next day. What paper did you see it in? I saw it in the record. Oh, wasn't a very good picture of me, was it? I knew it was you, though. I mean, I saw it. A friend of mine loaned me his car while mine was laid up and something went wrong with the steering gear. I thought you were going to get that traffic car. Oh, I'd square that up, all right. Where do you live up here, Mr. Piper? I live in Richmond, where Alan's going to place you on account of being close to the worker. I don't think there's much chance. No, I don't know if any vacant house is around here now. No, your brother-in-law was telling me at the time you had to kind of get this one. I guess I'll be getting along. Well, thanks ever so much, Mr. Piper. Yeah, don't mention it. I'm sure my mother will be glad to have this watch. I bet she has it in one of them hunkies down there. Goodbye and thank you. You're welcome. Listen, Aubrey. What do you mean by telling people that this is your house? I didn't tell anybody it was my house. You must have told this fan already went to bed, so... What do you think I am, a liar? Yes, I do. One of the best I know. Well, asking you when I said to him, she was here when I was talking to him. I don't have to ask anybody anything. You were lying to him here today in front of me. What did I say? That you'd fix the automobile thing up. It's fixed up, isn't it? You didn't fix it up. I got to jail for six months if only for Frank Highland. And telling this man you tried to persuade Pop to stop working? So I did. When? I didn't say it to him. But I told Amy he ought to stop. And I think it'd be right here today if you'd taken my advice. You wouldn't be right here today if he stopped expecting you to keep him. Now listen to me, Aubrey. You've made a lot of trouble for us since you've been in this family and I want you to stop it. There's no reason my husband, because he happens to have a few dollars, should be going around paying your bills. What do you want me to do? I want you to stop telling lies. For that's about all anything you do amounts to. Trying to make people believe you're something you're not, when if you just quit your talking and you're showing off, you might actually be the thing you're trying to make them believe that you are. Your wife's going to have a child one of these days, Aubrey, and you want to pull yourself together and try to be sensible, like the man of a family should be. You're smart enough. There's no reason a man like you is living in two rooms above a barbershop. I should think you have more respect for your wife. A man doesn't stand much chance of getting a head clear when the boss has got a grudge against him. Well stop your silly talk and get rid of that carbonation. The boss might get rid of his grudge, but what I wanted to tell you was this, Aubrey, I've asked Mom to let you and Amy come in here to live, and she says she wouldn't mind it, only that she knows the first thing she'd hear is that you told someone you'd taken her in. And you see that's exactly what you've done with this man that brought the watch. If I told Mom that, there'd be war. Are you going to tell her? I'm going to put that up to you, but the very first thing I hear that you've told anyone that this is your house, I'll see to it that you get a house that will be around. I suppose your mother would have something to say about that, Clara. The only thing that needs to word you is what all have to say about it. This house is mine. I left it to me, so Mom would always have a roof over her head, for he knew how long she'd have it if Amy ever got around her, and if Amy ever got hold of it, he knew what she'd do if it came to a choice between you and Mom. What are you doing, kidding me? Giving you a tip, see that you keep it to yourself. Be wise now, Aubrey. You've got a chance to sit in here and live like a human being, and if you throw that away, you know it to blame, but yourself. The paper should be here by now. Of course, I think. How are you feeling? A little better. Just had some tea. But listen, Aubrey. Mom said we could come in here to stay. Yes, I got Clara to fix it up. She said we could out my room. Is it a front room? No, it's the one at the head of the stairs. You look nice in black, Amy. Thank you. This is the dress that Clara gave me. Right here in the paper about the trial today. Keep it out of sight and don't let Mom see it. I'll bring it upstairs. Has it got my picture in it? Is that Virginia and Clara? Yes, it might as well, Mom. Frank won't be home. I think he'll run next door and tell them Bertha to tell her I won't be home. I told Amy she could have that side room upstairs. She might as well be using it, Mom. But I know I'm not going to hit it with him. Better to be fighting some loathsome, Mom. It'll be done with it. How do they make out down next day, Mom? Who do you mean, Aubrey? Yes. Are they back yet? They're upstairs. What did they do to him? They find him. How much? I don't know. They wouldn't tell me. Frank paid it. But I'll find out. It'll very likely be in the evening paper. It isn't in this paper, I look. Well, I'll find out. But there's something else in today's paper, Mom. What? Just cast your eyes on this right here. What is it? Philadelphia Youth makes important chemical discovery. Mr. Joseph Fisher of North Philadelphia perfects rust prevention solutions. Stop, Joe! Did they buy anything for you? $100,000. Are you the buyers and Stevens people? Yes. They sent for me this afternoon about two o'clock. So I knocked off and got hold of Firely right away, and we went over there. They had the contracts all drawn up at every trigger. What'd you say about $100,000, Joe? They paid that today on account. Then they're to market it for me from their laboratories and give me half the net. What's the net? What's left after all expenses are paid? Little, I guess they'll see that there ain't much left, won't they? Why, they'll be a fortune on this thing, Mom. Do you have any idea what a rust preventative means or the chemical-industrial problem? Why, they'll make a million dollars out of this within the next five years. Well, how much of that are you going to get, Joe? I get the same as they get. That's the concept. A million dollars? Easy. I got $100,000 today. Well, how many knots in $100,000? That's one and two knots. Three more knots. They paid that today on account. I knew it was coming, though. Their head chemist at Bristol told me six weeks ago it was all set. I've got to go over to their office. They made an appointment with the newspaper and magazines people. I've got to talk to them. Well, did they give you any of the money, Joe? $100,000, sure. Well, not in money, though. Not in dollar bills, now. They gave me a check for it. Well, where is it? Farley has it in his safe down in his office. Well, how much do you have to give him, half of it? No. He's just my lawyer. He's not a partner. I give him five percent of all money's received. How much will that be? That was $5,000 right off the bat today. Pretty soft for that bird. When I first talked to him, he wanted to stick me for ten percent. But I nailed that down quick. I knew what this was going to be worth. Well, what are you going to do, Joe? Stop working? No, of course not. I'm not going to stop working. I've got that oil paint thing on the carpet smell. Well, wouldn't you have to go to Washington or someplace? Well, I've been kind of too. But I might go to Trenton. New Jersey? Yeah. Not to Webb, surely. I might, till I get this oil paint thing through. Well, I think you'd be very close, Joe. We'd be going to Trenton at your age. Well, remind us, since Stevens people made me a proposition that looks pretty good. They've got one of the most perfectly equipped experimenting laboratories in the world, just outside of Trenton. And it's open to use day and night. And that's what I want. I don't have this rust preventive thing through six months sooner if I had the use of the laboratory somewhere I might. So they want me to go up there on a salary with a first look at anything I strike. But I didn't want to say anything until I talked to you. Well, what do you mean? I don't like the idea of going away and leaving you alone in the house. Oh, you go ahead, Joe. It's for your good. There's never one about me. I'll get along somehow. I don't like the idea of leaving you alone. Nearly every mother is left alone, Joe, if she lives long enough. I was wondering, Mom, why any couldn't come in here? She's in here already, her man with her. I mean, to stay. They're going to stay. She's having that side room upstairs. They're going to have to live someplace, and I guess it'll have to be here. Just like our Clara said here one night, I remembered as if it were yesterday. She said, remember what I'm telling you, Mom. It's you that'll have them on your hands. And I suppose that's true. She made her bed, and I guess it'll be me that'll have to lie in it. They want me to go to Trenton right away. Well, what would you do, Joe, come home over Sundays? Sure, it's only 58 miles from here. Is that all the further Trenton is from Philadelphia? That's all. Oh, he seemed very far away to me. I guess it's the name. I'm going to get fixed, doesn't it, before I go over to that office. Well, listen, Joe, don't say anything to him about this, or he'll be wanting to go out and talk to them, newspaper people, too. You know, Mom, I kind of feel that there's something coming to that in that out of this thing. What do you mean? He gave me an idea here one night. I think that for God's sake, Joe, we're as sure as you look. He'll be telling everyone that he did the whole thing. You remember that night he was saying here about being at work on a solution for the prevention of rust and iron and steel? Yes. Well, I've been telling him something without a week or two before. You were telling me. Well, I mean, that's why you're trying to come down. Yes. Well, if he forgot the night he was telling me about it, that it had been me who was telling him about it. And he got it mixed. Well, that's the way he does whatever, isn't it? But it was the way he got it mixed that gave me the idea. He said that it was a combination of chemical elements to be added to the metal in its molten state, instead of applied externally as they had been doing. Well, that's exactly what I'd been doing, applying the solution externally in a mixture of paint. But the next day, I tried adding parts of it to the molten state of the metal, and it did the trick. Of course, he didn't know what he was saying when he said it. He never does. And he didn't know anything about the solution formula. But it was the way he got what I'd been saying twisted that put the thing over. Well, that's no credit to him, Joe. I know. It was only blowing when he said it. Sure. Well, you don't know what a formula means, and I would have told him where you were to do. Why did you? I'd like to give him a little present of some kind out of this. What would you like to give him a present for? For making a mistake. Well, that's how everybody's doing around here. You want to give that fellow a present for making a mistake. That's what Frank Hyland said here today when I asked him why his baby's fine. He said, oh, you got to give a little present here and there once in a while. There's no use trying to be sensible. Well, I'd like to give him something. Well, I'll tell you what you can do, Joe. If you're so anxious about giving him something, find out what Frank Hyland paid today and give him that. Don't give him any money, Joe. Don't give it to her, either, for she'd only give it right over to him. Give it to me, and I'll give it to them when I think they need it. Hello. How's your home so real tonight, Joe? The long threading has come at last. What? The big news. The steel thing? Did they buy it, Joe? They bought it this afternoon. They checked some of the safe down in the lawyer's office. Joe, you're not telling you the truth. Something about the invention, Joe. Hello, Aubrey. Did they buy it? So he says. They bought it this afternoon. Isn't that wonderful. Congratulations. Thanks. So we put it over to the tune of 100,000 clackers. No kidding. Check some of the safe down in Farley's office. Well, you know what I always told you, kid? Leave it to you to call the turn, Aubrey. Well, Joe, tell us something about the invention. I've got to get dressed, Claire. I'll tell you about it later. He's gotta go and talk to a bunch of people that bought the thing for him. What will Joe do with all that money, Mom? Well, have a nose. I don't. Have you any idea how much $100,000 is? It's a fortune. Well, he's brought it on himself. You'll have to enjoy. I'm sure I won't. If he's a wise bird, he'll let me handle that money for him. I could give him a couple of very fly tips on that. You don't want your tips nor your taps, neither. We've already seen what one of your tips did to a fellow, and his arm has been in a sling ever since. That's alright, Mother Fisher, but if he's a wise bimbo, he'll take the drooping left and I'll double that money for him in the next two weeks with an extra pair of trousers. I guess I'll need an extra pair of trousers if he's sitting around waiting for you to double his money. Respective investors. They hear a man's got a few dollars laying around idle and they get in touch with him. Well, nobody's heard that you have any dollars laying around idle at the age. Oh, I don't know. They may have. Listen, boy, if you've got any dollars laying around idle, it would be fair for you to be paying Frank Highland the money he paid to keep you out of jail than to be looking around for an investment. Well, here it is in the paper. This is that wonderful Audrey. I said it wasn't in here. What is it? What's it say, Mom? Mad Motorist finds $1,000 for reference driving. Mr. Audrey Kuiper of 903 Lehigh Avenue was arranged today before Magistrate Lister of the 22nd Honeybeam Park Avenue police station to be brought up on the charges of having disregarded traffic signals at Broad Street and Erie Avenue last Monday evening resulting in rather serious injuries to Mr. Joseph Hart, a traffic officer. The defendant was fined $1,000 for recklessness, disregard of traffic signals and driving in automobile without a license. That's the law for you. What do you think of that, Clara? It's all over now, Mom. Frank paid it. Well, why did Frank pay it? Well, it was either that or go to jail for six months and you wouldn't want that on behalf of Amy. Well, Frank didn't have to pay it. Amy's got a mother and you take that $1,000 insurance check that I gave you and give it to Frank Highland as sure as ever is seeing him. I don't want Frank Highland losing any $1,000 bills on a count of this clown. It's bad enough that I would have to do it. Amy! What's that insurance man here today? What do you want him for? Nothing. I was just wondering if he made it around this way today. Did he leave a paper here for me? Well, he wanted to. But I told him not to waste his time talking to you about a $50,000 insurance policy. A man who'd certainly have a swell chance trying to make something of himself around this high. Listen, boy, anytime you know what this is, you go straight to Lehigh Avenue to your two bedrooms above the Devo Barber Shop and I'll be happy to see your heels. Stop talking, Mom. Nobody around here is trying to stop you from making anything of yourself. No, and nobody's trying to help me any either. Only trying to make me look like a pinhead every chance they get. Well, nobody'd have to try very hard to make you look like a pinhead. Your own silly talk will do that for you anytime now. Oh, I suppose it's silly talk to try to make a good impression. Well, it's silly to try and make any impression of any kind for the only one I'll be made will be the right one, and that will make itself. Well, if you were out in the world as much as I am, you'd very soon learn how much easier it is for a fellow to get along if people think he's got something. Well, it wouldn't take anybody very long to realize you haven't got very much. Is that so? You're heard. People that are smart enough to be able to make it easier for you. That'll do. Tell us something about the invention. Well, they telephone for me this afternoon, so I got filing. We went over there. They had the contracts all drawn up and everything. Did they really give you $100,000 for it? Checks in the safe. Down in the lawyer's office. Joe, what do you think we ought to do with that money? It's a funny thing, Mom. When I first talked to the Myers and Stevens people, I was only to get $50,000 advance, and when I went over there today, they had the contracts drawn up for $100,000. They're getting away with murder at that. Oh, keep still, you. You don't know anything about this at all. I made them think I knew something about it. You made who think? The Myers and Stevens people. What are you talking about, Aubrey? Do you know? Certainly I know what I'm talking about. I went to see those people last Saturday afternoon. After you told me they'd spoken to you. Well, what did you do up there, Aubrey? I told them that they'd have to double the advance if they wanted to do business with us. And what business was that of yours? Well, I'm Joe's guardian, ain't I? Well, who told you your word? At least I have somebody to send to his business for him. He's only a lad. Well, he don't need you tending to his business. He's been tending to his business long before he ever saw you. He never landed $100,000, though, before he saw me. Did he? Well, what did you say to them, Aubrey? Why, I simply told them that your father was dead and that I was acting in capacity of business advisor to you. And that if this invention of yours was as important as you had led me to believe it was, they were simply taking advantage of your youth by offering you $50,000 for it. And that I refuse to allow you to negotiate further unless they double the advance, market it at their expense, and one half the net. Sign on the dotted line. Well, did they know who you were? I told them that I was head of the house here and that I was connected with the Pennsylvania Railroad. Well, it's too bad they don't know what you really do down there. I beat them to it. I called theirs first. I certainly have to give you credit, Aubrey. That's the way the contractor eats. I told it to him and I told it to your lawyer too. I'll have to give you a little present of some kind. He'll not give me any present, too. Give it to your mother. She'll need it more than I will. Have you got the financial page there, Amy? This way. Thank you. Oh, Aubrey, you're wonderful. A little bit of luck can go a long way sometimes, Amy. Isn't he wonderful, Mom? I'd help me from now on.