 Hey, what's up? You guys welcome back to a live stream and now I haven't said that in about half a year So I have some time on my hands. I'm not doing anything today because I haven't been money. I I get paid at midnight and Mr. Lee I'm staying up until the night. It's like an order of pizza. But that's my Link every time I get paid I say that's midnight half pizza Kind of McDonald's So we'll see what's open so I don't really know what to talk about on the stream, but it'd be great if you could Start talking in the chat. I've got a video going on tonight. That's literally 21 minutes long Hey, how's your day being? It's been good. I talked to Alana this morning Which was cool Other than that I've had enough and I've slept in my chair my camera died when I wanted to film video So my camera is on charge my light is on charge Everything is on charge Even my airpods are on charge Also, do you like my airpod case? It's a dump And there's the airpod case Then you add Add duckiness Ducky ducky ducky I have a duck problem But yeah, my day has been good I've got a duck calendar. I've got 24 of the ducks in my bedroom And I've got three light up rubber ducks in the bathroom My mum bought me the light up ducks And I love them. I've had my medication today as well. So there you go You get the car me I can't remember the last time I did the stream. Let me have a look YouTube The last time I did the livestream was 18 months ago So please bear with me this New level for streaming is genuinely confusing I've set a heart going up now, but I'm okay had my meds Had my afternoon clonazapam and Honestly, I feel so spaced out But I'm not anxious. So I'll take it. My hair is such a mess First world problems So what should we talk about? such removing my meds and To I'm always do that I take clonazapam twice a day. I take it in the afternoon and at night Because at night I get a lot of nightmares Care to do trauma But the clonazapam stops me from going into a panic attack So There's literally no reason for me to come off clonazapam my new psychiatrist again Four psychiatrists in six months Hopefully won't try and take me off clonazapam because they never offer an alternative If there's an alternative that are worth I'm all for it, but I've tried pregabalin I've tried pappanal I tried that as a power tried lorazapam I've tried Well, that's right. I've tried low dose of cotypian A clonazapam is the one thing that that actually made a difference I still have lorazapam prm But I don't really use it very often I'm also underneath my ways of blanket The future comforts. Oh, I matched to a really hot girl on tinder So that's a thing Yes, I'm using tinder I want a relationship, okay And I can't get on any dating websites on the wi-fi so I have to use my no body as a do it Or the university wi-fi I've got university at 9 a.m in the morning Nice 740 wake up time Be out of the flat for eight o'clock Take my education with me You don't have to inject the tru-licity injection Check my blood sugar Take my mares Be weighed And then off to the underground So I had a call off my gps this week and He opened with He's lost a lot of weight in the last three weeks My response was well, I've been broke for three weeks And I don't eat everything in the house clock because they cook a lot of meat and rice and pasta and I don't like those things And to be very blunt, I am trying to lose weight I want to be in a healthy bracket Turns out I had too many McDonald's And yes, my midnight pizza doesn't count as naughty food It counts as tradition Since I started getting piff, I've always all the pizza at midnight God, see if I can stay awake that late I don't know how long I'm going to stream for because there is a long video coming out tonight And I'd rather you watch the video So Yeah, I just wanted to talk to someone I have no social life Everyone I could FaceTime is doing stuff Or sleep Because they're in Australia I have learned that Alana is 10 hours ahead of me With video calling on Wednesday So it's night for her and it's morning for me And it's just I don't know, it works And also on Wednesday I'm getting a new tattoo I'm getting a rainbow put here It's only a little And cost me a hundred words But I want it So I'm getting it I'm not ordering anything big this month I've got two things in my Amazon basket Scrapbook stuff I'm scrapbook stuff Hello Hola Oh, nice children plans I'm trying to save so I can move out of supported living I've lived here for two years now And I kind of want my own space And to be in control of my own medication Because I mean it's genuinely I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore I genuinely am in a better place For the first time in I don't even know how many years So I really want to be back in control of My own medication And that I have someone doing welfare checks twice a day And waking me up for them I literally have a sign on my door That says Do not wake me up I have an alarm set for nine Giving my alarm for tomorrow start at 7 22 Or technically 10 past midnight In case I don't make a stay awake that long Thank you I'm gonna end up getting copyrighted for all that I keep doing It's just in my hand It's been in my head for three months This is month four How many hours did I see it last night? Because I feel all tired Oh six, that's shit I don't want to see it for 10 hours I don't know My issue with YouTube is they haven't copyrighted me for anything ever I've got a community guideline strike When I posted an eating disorder recovery video Basically I went out for a meal on my own for the first time in A lot of years If I go out to eat I go out with people Normally for a birthday celebration I don't normally go out to eat on my own But I took myself to weather spoons and I had sausage chips and beans Truly British Right here And I recorded that and I Then I made a sit-down video at the end of it explaining why it was so important to me I uploaded it 25 people saw it and it was removed from YouTube And I was giving a community guideline strike It wasn't, I didn't mention numbers I didn't I didn't do anything wrong The minute you talk about eating disorders on YouTube is It's taken down So I posted the video on my Patreon Which if you don't know I do have a Patreon and I'll link it in the chat I used to do live streams every Monday night Yeah, I know people, some people go fine when it's talking about it. I just Apparently not me But this is why I don't talk about my eating disorder on because I have one I'm going to use a video on last which is now known as osfad But I can't update what's going on with that because it'll get taken down I have a stitch teacher Wow stitch pajamas on I have a lot of stitch clothes No, it's not It's hard to do in that location yet YouTube first to see the difference. Yep You're right. I guess the thing with YouTube is it just doesn't understand The differences And I guess if you say certain phrases it picks it up For the auto captioning Well, I'm planning on trying again Tomorrow actually but I love stitch. I love stitch I have pop vinyl of stitch somewhere I have Stitch that my ex got me But stitch t-shirt pull up pajamas. I've got another set of stitch pajamas. They're blue Then I've got two stitch jumpers When it gets round to a Spring time I'm gonna buy some stitch t-shirts It's too cold to at the minute Releases in London. I honestly think that my YouTube channel is doing quite well at the minute And I have to say thank you to you Because without you I would not be doing this still I've been doing YouTube for 10 years not on this channel this channel is about eight years But My previous channels was me singing and I'm never going to release the name of them them I've seen the end stitch. Yeah, I've got this I couldn't find that in Europe I've got I've got Disney Blast. I've seen all of them. I've seen stitch. They don't stitch stitch the movie Stitches series Lee Roy and stitch Lee learn stitch two Did you know they're making the live action do you learn stitch? My healthy drink choice It's cheap sainsbury's cola It's 65p. Okay. That's all I can afford My favorite line in Lilo and stitch one is when jumbas shoot in the ceiling to get a stitch And he says I'll make you less fluffy and stitch goes I like fluffy Right. I've got fluffy stitch pajamas So in a suitcase at the minute I have ADHD too I mean, I'm I'm not medicated. So maybe the caffeine can help help me too Although I'm not betting there's a lot of caffeine in this Yeah, that's a good bit. Oh, I need to wash my hair But I don't want to but I've got a new knee tomorrow. I'll sort it out tonight That's something I can do when I'm waiting for midnight wash my hair Because it takes three hours to dry I also have four dream catchers I want more next to it. We've got I do have a microphone that I could have connected to my laptop, but I forgot See getting a laptop audio calling My apologies Manon Manon Manon Manon It's weird not being slick on the right side of this Right, my dream catchers are backwards Honestly though I'm so happy with how this channel has grown This year so far And I am up to you guys I don't know since my last attempt on my life I've been Very mindful of the things I realize I am afraid of death That is permanent and while my family believe in heaven and hell I personally don't know what comes next I'm not religious so Yeah I guess it's a wait and see Like I said earlier. I don't get any suicidal thoughts anymore just I just don't I've already scheduled all the videos for next week So I am looking forward to getting my tassies tomorrow not tomorrow Wednesday No, I've got I've got tattoos It'll be my fourth tattooing Any year Can't wait for the new vids But I hope you enjoy them I've been trying to work on my editing a bit But I don't like Premiere Pro very much So Love hate relationship The video going up tonight is my full mental health story Without details Her details in it are probably maybe about an hour long That's going up at 7 p.m British time But yeah, I have tattooers I'm getting the rainbows on here Took us over there Yeah, it's just get hard to make videos Look, I've got so many videos on my hard drive That I've never uploaded Because I just feel like they're too sensitive to upload Or that I'd just be trolled over So I choose not to upload them Because if after Three years I finally got the trolls to stop Why have they got bored? I don't know But They stopped taking the piss out of everything I do I use a tired human I made a dick I'm mature I swear I don't really have much more to say So I'm probably going to end the stream soon Well, it's been great talking to you guys And yeah, thank you for watching And you're only in the conversation Peace