 While I know no rider's bare breasts are not acceptable weakness for my superhero. I will stop shooting at natural disasters. No spending on my starting gold and just a loincloth. Can't use dominate to make vampires forget to change their clocks for daylight savings time. I will not spoil the adventure's mandatory ambush by using the cheesy tactic of a scout. It's obvious I'm just playing a scald so I can sing Bjornin Bjornin Disco Inferno. The primary dwarf sub races are sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic. I will not vote to play a game that has needed a rules decision from an economist. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot fence with a katana. I can't have a skill if the rules say I can't have, even if the rules say I'm also good at it. Bleaching the trial won't help. Despite what the rules say, bobsledding through the Vatican is much harder than it looks. I will not make the DM break out the siege rules until my least second level. Even if the dungeon has only one exit, can't just starve the villain out. A black ops is not the appropriate place to declare my Kansas City for mayor. Bombing is not an appropriate specialization for a starting character. The guy with the melted gun doesn't automatically have to carry the popcorn. I do not have time in the black ops to play Tetris with the building lights. The elvish language is not just English with a hell of a lisping. I cannot convert to scottish just for tax purposes. Doing fifty and a forty-five does not cause an alignment check for the paladin. Just don't tap out. Montaigne aren't required to surrender after the second turn. Eisenford's whisk didn't appreciate the lap dance. I will keep the fact that King's heraldry looks like a ferret in need of a Heimlich maneuver to myself. Lying about benefits being cut are not going to make the guards too disgruntled to fight back later. I am not he who would not be named only in passing. It is not a race to zero, San. No spending half the game session seeing what rhymes with Nier with O-Tip. Even if I did manage to work all the lyrics to 22 Acacia Avenue and character in the game, no bonus XP. If the party goes out like 300, that's cool. Dalma and Louise, not so much. When the DM sobers up, my paladin's flump mount is as good as dead. Seeing my prior knowledge of the adventure to force the game along while encouraged is discouraged. Then trotty or not good eating. Emergency supplies are not for childish pranks. The dibs system is not a recognized method of promotion in the Ordo Amalius. In case of premature termination, the dungeon boss has an identical twin brother on standby. High recoil guns and roller skates are not an accepted method of transportation. You can't find true names in a phone book. If the top floor is too well defended, you can't just blow off the next top floor. You can't start the game with echolocation. I will not wait until the first combat to tell the new guys to lower his AC to better. In the middle of a black ops, I don't have time to elope. Wizards do not have to save against carpal tunnel syndrome. My ally advantage in arch enemy flaw can't both represent the same person. If I take a Buddhist monk, I get lots of combat bonuses that I can't use without violating my religion. Any of the rules allow it, can't catch bullets with my pecs. My bard will not take a trombone just so he can attack and use his bard song at the same time. No such thing as preemptive last rites. Any plan that would quickly, logically, and safely defeat the module early is doomed to failure. Not summon an elemental out of any material that only exists in a laboratory environment. Cannot name my droid, WEG-G6. Despite its phenomenal success rate, a multi-melta is not the solution to all my problems. When the dwarf has an idea, no making the he's drunk motion behind his back. The paladin does not appreciate us painting his dire tiger green and orange. Like a cow who goes to the well too often, I will stop speaking only in metaphors. Will not blow all my skill points and just ballroom dances. I will remember the Japanese response to uncomfortable situations to giggle, not a kick into kiwis. The ability to mimic other players' luck powers will not make me a karmic chameleon. Even if the game is set in 1912, the female characters get a vote on the party's actions. Even if the rules allow it, can't fish with a flamethrower. I will not insist on playing a lamb pilot just to see if the Robotech lawyers were really serious. Dwarves do not have the racial ability to merge into a larger, more powerful dwarf. I will not take resources zero and status five and just confiscate money as I need it. Cannot use the requisition skill to get a beach house in the virgin islands, even if Congress can. My sideburns cannot earn their own fear rating. I must sing my kids to sleep before the black ops. I will not sing other characters' kids to sleep before, during, or after the black ops. None of the summon animal spells will get me the drummer from the Muppets. No cross-classing just to get all the different animal sidekicks. Will not break it to the other player, her three-and-a-half-foot elf is not taller than my three-foot-six tall gnome. The party will not enter into a tontine that just encourages the evil players. No matter what the rules say, I can't chase the villain around the map indefinitely. When I'm told to get an alias, that didn't mean that chick with the azure bonds. The concept of puberty is not alien to the elves. There is more to playing a fin than cell phones, reindeer, and sniper rifles. Even if I have a salient point, I won't call the Rush Limbaugh show in the middle of a black ops. If I'm playing an alien, I can't have alkaline for blood. Burning ore spell does not cause jock itch. Using the time machine to put W at the front of the alphabet is silly. I will not add the restriction only to cook eggs to any of my superpowers. The island of small breasted fantasy females does not exist. Even if the Troy can do it, I can't add the trait randomly bursting the flames to my car. There is more to stopping a zombie horde than pungy pits. Just because I can doesn't mean I should drop a house on the witch. No amount of dots in fashion will let me use my bio-varg for formal gear. I cannot convince the entire party to play squats. I cannot take a sidekick if all he's gonna do is trail his with a high-powered rifle. Dropping a tree on the lich creates more rules problems than it's worth. My bard will not stop every passing menstrual for a round of dueling banjos. I will not use the ventriloquism skill to deliver bad news to the emperor. Even if the rules allow it, can't add the high-speed pursuit option to a steamroller. I will not turn the DM into a drinking game. No metamagic feat lets me add fragmentation to my spells. When playing a teleporter, I will buy the ability to actually teleport. I will not just buy the ability to teleport everybody but me. When I'm out of character, the hand puppets come off. I will not use the time machine to make Don't Blame Me I voted for Tilden bumper stickers. Shooting him in the foot first does not give me a bonus to the ridicule check. Even if historical accuracy is important in the adventure, I will not become the Nazi-Nazi. I will not convince the dragon to eat the elf instead because it's organically grown.