 Okay, we're in chapter five here in the book of Proverbs. I chose to entitle this particular installment. My son, pay attention, because that's how it begins. And so as we begin, let's look at verses one and two, and we'll move into our study today. Proverbs chapter five, my son, pay attention to my wisdom. Send your ear to my understanding that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge. So this particular section that we're looking at here in Proverbs records Solomon giving directions concerning fleshly temptations. Now he's already done that in chapter two. He's already addressed things that related to temptations of the flesh. He had said that receiving his words and treasuring his words would develop the fear of God. And he had said in chapter two that the fear of God made it possible to have the knowledge of God. He went on to say that it is the fear and knowledge of God that delivers you from the way of evil. And the fear and knowledge of God also produces moral uprightness, sexual integrity, and sexual purity. He had said in Proverbs two, verse 16, that these words that he was instructing his son is, and were intended to deliver you from the immoral woman from the seductress who flatters with her words. So in falling into the trap of sexual sin, he had said, you need to understand that the trap of sexual sin leads to eternal death. In Proverbs two, 18 and 19, her house leads down to death, her path to the dead, none who go to her return, nor do they regain the paths of life. So Solomon is writing and once again reiterating and giving more information and instruction, concerning purity. And this is a man who had the ability to do that. He had the ability to teach concerning these things because he had various perspectives that would give him credibility. One, we know that according to Scripture, he was the wisest man on the planet. He lived before me and therefore he was the wisest man on the planet. In 1 Kings 4, 29 and 30, God gave Solomon wisdom and exceedingly great understanding and the largeness of heart like the sand of the seashore. Thus Solomon's wisdom excelled the wisdom of all the men of the East and all the wisdom of Egypt. He was the wisest man on the planet and that alone would qualify him to speak with authority. But as he's giving instructions to a son, he's writing as a father. And that's the second thing that he could do. He writes as a father. That qualifies him to speak with authority to his son because he should be expecting obedience from his son. And then third, he could speak as one with experience in life. You see Solomon had made many choices in his life and some of them were very poor, especially as they related to relationships with women. When you read 1 Kings in chapter 11 verses one through three, it reads King Solomon loved many foreign women as well as the daughter of Pharaoh. Women of the Moabites and Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites. And he loved a few cellulites. No, it's not. Where'd that come from? And Hittites, from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their God. Solomon clung to these in love. Listen to this. He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. He wasn't that wise, was he? 700 wives and 300 concubines. One thousand women in his life. He could speak from various perspectives. He could speak from the perspective of the wisest man on the planet. He could speak from the perspective to a son as a father. And he could speak from the perspective of experience through making choices. Many of them bad. And so when he's writing here and giving instructions, he's encouraging his son to sexual purity. He's telling him that sexual impurity actually is an obstruction in gaining wisdom. You see, we're going to see this in just a moment, but I'll introduce the next verses by simply saying, there's no such thing as an innocent affair. There's no such thing as a casual sexual relationship. The effects of such indiscretions will linger over a lifetime, as we will see in just a moment. Because what we're having here, as we're reading, is really something that at one time would have been spoken of as a man-to-man talk between a father and a son. And Solomon is a man. A man of experience, a man of learning. And he's instructing his son concerning choices. And he's giving clear instructions concerning choosing the right path. And as he's doing this, he does so, warning against the danger of overemphasizing sexual pleasure. Now, again, that is something that he stayed several times in his writings. In Ecclesiastes, in chapter 7, verse 26, he said, I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap, and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner, she will ensnare. So he speaks quite a bit concerning avoiding sexual sin. He's been giving advice and instruction to his son concerning a number of things already, as we've seen going through Proverbs. We saw that he's already instructed him to avoid gangs. He had instructed him not to envy the oppressor. He had said to him, avoid the path of the wicked. But he's speaking again about avoiding sexual immorality. And so as we enter into this section, he's exhorting his son to avoid adultery. In verse 1, pay attention, he's saying, My son, pay attention to my wisdom, lend your ear to my understanding. Listen carefully to what I am saying. When he says pay attention to my wisdom, lend your ear to my understanding, it gives us aspects of wisdom in the sense that when he speaks concerning pay attention to my wisdom, that would be dealing with his instructions as it pertains to having a life that is lived to the full. When he speaks concerning lending his ear to understanding, that would include not only the theoretical wisdom that he could give to him, but the practical experiential wisdom that he has. That Solomon had the opportunity and ability to speak from a philosophic as well as experiential. And he has, in other words, I've lived life, I've lived out what I'm teaching you, and what I'm saying to you is something you really ought to be listening to. So pay attention to me. Because if you do so, verse 2, it'll result in that you may preserve discretion. Your lips may keep knowledge. And so he says that you may preserve discretion. Speaks of holding tightly to something that you will hold tightly discretion to your heart. When he says keep knowledge, the word keeps speaks of safeguarding. You're going to safeguard knowledge and communicate this knowledge faithfully to other people. It's going to be something that you safeguard and something that you give to others. And he's saying my advice will protect you from wrong relationships. It will make it possible for you to not only live a life that is blessed, but you're going to be able to hand this. You're going to preserve discretion. You're going to be able to hand this as a legacy to others. For me, my father's faithfulness to my mother was a legacy. My father was a faithful husband. He never went out on my mom, never did anything that shook up our home or anything. And so his example to me is what has been a huge influence in the way I have raised my family and had marital relations. And it's the same kind of thing that has influenced my sons towards their wives. And so it's a legacy. So as a man, I've inherited something, a faithfulness, that I have handed to my sons and said, this is something that you need to have to stay away from bad relationships, pursue the right ones. And this is what we're looking at right here. And this is what Solomon is speaking about. And so as he's introducing this, he now goes into the heart of what he has to say, verse three. He says, the lips of an immoral woman drip honey. Her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is as bitter as warm wood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps lay hold of hell, lest you ponder her path of life. Her ways are unstable. You do not know them. So he's writing about the woman's ministry. No, I'm just kidding. I just got in trouble. Does anybody have a room to rent that I can rent for the night? In verse three, in verse three, when it says the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, he's not saying that she has sweet kisses. I mean, when you read that, you might infer that. That's not what he's speaking about. He's not saying to kiss her is a sweet experience. What he's speaking of is her smooth words. He's saying that this immoral woman uses words to entice and to trap. She uses words, he's saying, to seduce. And so innocence and purity must be guarded. And innocence and purity is guarded through wisdom and understanding. Because wisdom and understanding will move us to make wise choices. It is guarded by decisions that are made possible by the spirit and proper teaching. And so Solomon is an unmasking lust. And he's showing it for what it is. And he's going to show us what it results in. Sexual sin, this is what we're going to speak about today because that's what Solomon is writing about. Sexual sin at the beginning is always exciting. And it always promises great reward, entrance into an immoral relationship, entering into an improper sexual relationship often begins in a very slow way. It can happen in such a slow way that you don't even really notice that it's actually happening. That's what he would be referring to when he says her mouth is smoother than oil. It can happen in such a slow way that you don't even realize that something is being planted in you because it's so smooth. When you think about it, and I was writing some things down, what could lead to being open to a seduction? If you put yourself in this position, we'll say that a person is lonely. And things aren't going well personally. You're beginning to grow older and the job that you are working isn't satisfying you. The dreams that you used to have as a young person never came to be. A relationship that you're in, your marriage, isn't as satisfying as you thought it would be. Because people, when they get married, very often enter into marriage with this idea that it's all just going to naturally flow and it's going to be okay. Everything, well, we love each other and we're both Christians. And, you know, we go to church and we serve the Lord. And I've seen this person for a while now. I think I'm wise enough to see if there are areas that should be putting a check in my heart. And that's how it happens. And so you date and you become engaged and you get excited about getting married and the wedding day comes and with all your friends, how many you might have invited. And you have your reception afterwards and then off you go to your honeymoon suite or tent or whatever you had. And then you wake up the next morning and you're married. And then you begin to live with the person that you idealized. And it's not as easy as it appears. Every married person knows that. I'm not saying anything that's a secret. I'm telling you what you know. It's the difference between being with someone under normally more ideal circumstances and then living day to day with them. And that's where a lot of people have adjustments because their expectation was just not proper. It just wasn't real. And so you're married. And you go to work. You have guys that you hang around with and this is from a male perspective obviously. And you see guys that have, they have more toys than you have. They seem to have more things than you have. Everything they have seems to be more than you have. They come to work after being off for a week or two and they tell you about the great vacation. But they went someplace and they were on a boat. They went on a cruise. They went to Hawaii. And you, you went to Seal Beach overnight. It wasn't the same and you start getting jealous. You see the cars and you always wanted a car like that or they come and say, man, you ought to see my boat. I got a boat. You're going to have always wanted a boat. Or they pull up on their new motorcycle. Or you see the way that they dress. They have great clothes. They have so much energy and you seem to be tired all the time and they'll tell you about their exciting sex life and you think, well, so you get jealous and you get envious because your life is routine. It's even really boring. You go to work. You come home. You get up. You go to work. You come home. The weekend, you don't have anything to do. You mow the lawn maybe. Go do something. These people seem to be busy all the time so you begin to think about it. You've been married for a while and you look in the mirror and you're really amazed that there's something wrong with your pants because they're tight. You're getting a little heavier and you're starting to get older and you're starting to get tired and all of these things begin to add up and there you are in front of the TV set and you're bored out of your mind, out of your mind. Who wants to see that channel, those women who are always killing their husbands? As you're there doing penance, you begin to think, I got married too young. I should have waited. There were other things I could have done. Gotten them out of my system. I got married too young. I wasn't ready for all of this responsibility. This is day in, this is day out, this is week after week, this is month after month. Now at work, you walk by somebody, maybe a new hire. They smile at you, you smile at them, you nod, whatever job starts causing you to have to speak to them on occasion. You start adding some personal things to occasional visits after a while because you see them so often and you start sharing more. It seems that they kind of get you. They understand you. You'll start talking about something. They listen carefully to what you're saying and you think that just last night you tried to say the same thing to your wife and she was so busy doing something else. She didn't listen. It's not that she didn't care. You know she cares but the kids and this and that and this person, she listens. She seems interested and you talk to her. She begins to compliment you. You say when you're stupid jokes that nobody gets but she laughs and now you feel like you're cool and now you're alive because she makes you feel alive. You begin to look forward to walking past her desk because she's always waiting for you and you stop and you visit. You start going through something. You tried to share it with your wife but just didn't have time to listen. You share it with them. They listen and if it bothered you and you share it with a little emotion as you're talking to them you look at them and their eyes begin to fill with tears and you begin to start saying to yourself she understands. She understands me and now it becomes important to see them and you begin to look forward to seeing them at work. As you go up and speak to them you notice they're always dressed nicely. They have makeup, perfume and you think well last night my wife's face was smeared with avocado. They're always dressed nicely and it's attractive. So you begin to make excuses to be near them and you begin to feel your heart begin to race a bit when you see them and when they're near you and then you reach over and touch them and then they reach over and touch you and it's like electricity goes through you. This is exciting and you're not aware of it but you're being seduced. In Proverbs 7 verses 21 through 23 Solomon will say with her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her as an ox goes to the slaughter or as a fool to the correction of the stocks till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare he did not know it would cost his life. That's what he's speaking about here. See all of this that's going on you think is harmless but there is a problem. She's married but you've already made excuse for that. You say to yourself oh really that's okay because she's not happy in her marriage. She's tommy and then you begin to say to yourself well you know God wants me to be happy and God wants them to be happy doesn't he? Anyway we're just good friends we're just talking. There's nothing wrong with that is there and you're lonely even though you're in the house with a family you're lonely. After all you aren't doing something wrong you're just enjoying company with somebody who happens to be married. Anyway you're both adults and you talk about God and it isn't what it looks like and what do our friends know about being lonely anyway that's how it begins. That's how it begins. It starts out innocently but it progresses over time and then you enter in to a relationship that has been forbidden by the Lord. He says again in verse 3 the lips of an immoral woman drip honey her mouth is smoother than oil but in the end she is bitter as wormwood sharp as a two-edged sword. It seems innocent at first but it will destroy your life. The word wormwood is a word that is translated and has been translated absent it speaks really of a poison and he's saying that she's going to destroy you. You see he expects to simply taste honey but he ends up with bitterness and death. A double-edged sword is used here as an illustration a double-edged sword cuts in every way and in this case it ends in death it's something that results in you dying and you're not even aware that it's going to happen there's this old story of how hunters would catch wolves. You've heard the story I'm sure but in the event that you haven't what they would do is they would take a knife that was extremely sharp and they would bury it in the snow with blood and the wolf would come and would smell the blood and when the wolf would smell the blood it would begin to lick the blood off the blade and when the wolf is licking the blood off the blade the blade is cutting into the wolf and as it continues to lick it's slicing deeper and deeper until the wolf itself leads to death and that's what that's not the exact picture but that's a picture of what he's saying it's something sharp that can kill you and it does so in a deceptive way and so now he begins to give give warnings in verse 5 and he says this is what you're really dealing with her feet go down to death her steps lay hold of hell and so the adulterous will lead you on a path to hell because that's where adulterers end up in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 5 Paul said this of this you can be sure no immoral impure or greedy person such a man is an idolater as any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God in Hebrews 13 verse 4 marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral you don't get away with it you don't you don't get away with it you it's not a it is not a victimless thing you you will be dealt with adulterers sexually immoral he says and don't be deceived about this you can be sure of this will not inherit the kingdom of Christ and of God and that's what he's saying here in an Old Testament way her steps lay hold of hell verse 6 lest you ponder her path of life her ways are unstable you don't know them she lives in such a way that you don't get a true picture of her instability you're only seeing her with snapshots not the whole picture you're only seeing portions of her she is so busy putting her spell on you that you're not even thinking about the fruit of all of this and so that's his warning so he goes on in verse 7 and says therefore hear me now my children do not depart from the words of my mouth remove your way far from her do not go near the door of her house lest you give your honor to others in your years to the cruel one as aliens be filled with your wealth and your your labors go to the house of a foreigner and you mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed and say how I have hated instruction my heart despised correction I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me I was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation so he says in verse 7 hear me now listen closely is what he's saying pay attention learn you don't have to experience this for yourself listen and learn from experience you've seen other lives destroyed what makes you think yours won't be what makes you think yours won't be many years ago I got a call from a friend who said can I meet with you it's a it's an emergency and and I said yes yes I'll I'll come see you and I went and spoke to this young man and he began to tell me situation he was in which was an immoral relationship and where it was leading was going to lead to divorce he had children young children I remember we went to this little restaurant a little coffee shop and I remember being seated across from him and I asked some questions I said listen I said you're considering leaving your wife yes really yes he gave gives me the reasons and this and that I still remember a portion of the conversation I said let me ask you I said you have children sons and daughter and all yeah who's going to teach your son to tie a tie and who's going to help him pick out his suit for the formal who's going to teach your son how to drive and who's going to help him do even the simple things like learn how to shave who who's going to teach him the things that only a father can teach him let me ask you and your daughter who's going to walk her up the aisle who's going to help her to understand what a good man is and what to avoid in a bad man who's going to protect her who's going to be there for her who's going to be the image that she needs to have can you tell me and let me tell you what's going to happen if you do what you are saying you're going to do you will pay a price that you are not even aware of right now but you will find out you're going to be perhaps invited to the wedding but another man is going to walk your daughter up the aisle as her father are you willing to give up everything that you have in your family for somebody who doesn't love you are you willing to do that and i still remember as he was seated across from me he was there seated he he was just shaking his head and that was probably 15 or so years ago he's a grandfather now he stayed with his wife loves her she loves him his kids are serving the lord i'm telling you it isn't worth it it isn't worth it it is not worth losing everything over a sexual relationship that's what Solomon is saying because in the end physical relationships are not that much different with other people it's only novel but nothing that is really extraordinarily different and the thing that makes an intimate relationship so beautiful is the love of christ and the commitment of two hearts to each other because because that that woman knows that that man is not getting up to leave that he's going to be there until the morning and the next morning and the next morning because that's what marriage is and he looks at her and he says she's not going with somebody else she's going to be with me tomorrow the next day and the next day and then you discover something you discover that when you were young and you had passion that the passion that you had when you were young is transformed into a passion that is deeper than anything you could have experienced or even understood i've been with my girl for a long time now and i can tell you and this is a fact that i'm not saying just because she told me to but it's the truth my love for this woman is greater every day every day i i it's the truth i love her more today than i did yesterday and i look forward to tomorrow because i'll love her more tomorrow i know that because she has been with me through everything i've gone through as stood next to me as held me as wept with me has been able to me why would i break her heart for someone who doesn't even know me Solomon is teaching us that we need to understand that he's saying my son her her path will lead you to hell she's destroying you be aware and stay away he says in verse eight remove your way far from her do not go near the door of her house don't just remove yourself a short distance where you can still be drawn get completely away from her like it says in 1 Corinthians 6 18 flea sexual immorality romans chapter 6 verses 12 and 13 do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey it in its lusts do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin but present yourselves to god as being alive from the dead and your members as instruments of righteousness to god 2 Timothy 2 verse 22 flea also youthful lust pursue righteousness faith love peace with those who call in the lord out of with your heart well somebody says well come on now what's the big deal a little sexual adventure a little fun never hurt anyone i mean look at all the movies 50 shades of gray and this and that christians go and see garbage like that we wonder why there's so much immorality in the church what's wrong with it well he gives us reasons in verse nine lest you give your honor to others and your ears to the cruel one lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner well there are various reasons and there are various repercussions of sexual sin verse nine first he says you're going to end up giving your honor to others and your ears to the cruel one in other words you will you will end up spending the prime of your life working for others you see when the divorce proceedings clear up you end up giving your wealth to other people in our terms you're going to have expensive lawyer fees alimony child support if you think you're getting away with something you're not in verse 10 he continues lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner you marry the other woman and you end up taking care of the children that she has when you lose your own the inheritance that one day would have gone to your children will be given to hers you're going to lose everything and your children get nothing in verse 11 you mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed and say how i hated instruction my heart despised correction i have not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me i was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation when he speaks concerning your flesh and your body being consumed that could speak in a couple of ways it could speak of of of a nine regret that you have that you're alone and you look back at what could have been and you're consumed by what could have been your kids grew up graduated they got married and you weren't involved and you weren't even wanted you don't have a good relationship with your kids you hear that they have grandchildren you have grandchildren but you never see them and some other man is being called grandfather and he says is it worth it you're being nod by regret and there's a secondary reference there there are those who say it could be referring also to contacting a venereal disease that consumes your body you say according to verse 12 following i hated instruction my heart despised reproof you end up your life with wasted dreams and nothing but i wish i would have if only will be your last words if only you know when i was a young boy i had a baseball hero this is before the Dodgers were in town i like the Dodgers anybody know that um and uh my favorite my favorite ball player was Mickey Mantle and i can still remember when he played he was a center fielder for the angst he played outfield he was also first baseman an amazing ball player and i really admired Mickey Mantle but one of the things that stuck with me concerning this this man Mickey Mantle is on one occasion he was speaking to some young people and he said this this is a quote Mickey Mantle he said i am a good example of what not to do with your life you don't want to be that you don't want to say i'm a great example of what you shouldn't be you don't want to be that you don't want to say that what's the answer to this the answer is simple remain faithful if you're married remain faithful to your wife he says in verse 15 drink drink water from your own sister running water from your own well when he says drink water from your own sister and find sexual satisfaction from your own wife and not with another woman it's been said that desire for something else stems from dissatisfaction with what you have so learn to enjoy what you have the question is asked verse 16 should your fountains be dispersed abroad streams of water in the streets let them be only your own and not for strangers with you let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth as a loving deer in a graceful dough let her breast satisfy you at all times always be enraptured with her love for why should you my son be enraptured by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms of a seductress so rather than producing illegitimate children that's what he's referring to when he says in verse 16 should your fountains be dispersed abroad rather than producing illegitimate children that are running the streets produce children you can love and raise and nurture as a godly father in verse 18 he said let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth when it says let your fountain be blessed have many children with your wife let your sexual thirst be quenched by your wife not someone else's wife in verse 19 speaks of a loving deer in a graceful dough he says be intimate with her it's interesting how the scriptures the bible is not shy about referring to intimate pleasures you know there was for a long time there was a belief that that physical intimacy was was you know even in marriage was sinful um my mom when I was growing up as a little boy my mom told me that the sin in the garden was adam and eve having physical relationship that's what my mom thought was the original sin physical intimacy and she told me that but the bible doesn't say that at all and and a lot of times you'll find this perhaps you'll find this a bit interesting the there are there are stereotypes related to the christian church that basically says that we believers are repressed in the areas of intimacy and yet there have been studies after studies that have been done that demonstrate that a committed relationship produces a more sexually fulfilling relationship when it's committed especially in the bonds of marriage that that that the physical intimacy is more pleasurable and is more regular and yet you have this idea that oh no it's when you're out there on the street just looking around that's when it becomes exciting and that's contrary that's not true that's not true the scripture doesn't teach that the scripture doesn't teach us that uh is some kind of a sin doesn't at all it actually oh it it actually teaches us that there is a proper place for expression and that's within the marriage uh bed and that it is to be pleasurable in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verses 3 through 5 the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband the wife's body doesn't belong to her alone but also to her husband and same way the husband's body doesn't belong to him alone but also to his wife do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control oh paul was speaking and he's saying intimacy intimacy is good he says if you're going to be apart from one another make sure it's time that you're spending with the Lord so you can grow closer to him because when you come back together it'll be even more pleasurable because you're honoring him in the way that is proper in verse 19 he says be enraptured with her love enraptured be continually and passionately intoxicated with the woman god has given you be crazy about her love her with all your heart and enjoy her why would you look for something that cannot satisfy because sexual pleasure is most complete in a marriage covenant and finally in verse 21 he says the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord he ponders all his paths his own iniquities and trapped the wicked man and he is caught in the course of his sin he shall die for lack of instruction and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray so the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord no matter how a man tries to hide his sexual sin god sees him and god deals with him ultimately he will entrap himself his sexual desire becomes his snare if you think not speak to the one who is caught up with pornography it becomes a snare it kills him if he's captured by his lust he can be captured by an adulteress and ultimately he will be led to ruin by his own desire in verse 23 finally he says he shall die for lack of instruction and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray because he didn't discipline his passion he will go astray and he'll die in his sin and so again Solomon says my son pay attention to my wisdom lend your ear to my understanding that you may preserve discretion your lips may keep knowledge stay away from sexual sin it destroys you good wisdom from scripture may we apply it to our lives