 Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are currently in the air at 30,000 feet. We should be landing at about two hours. The sea time sitting on is very comfortable. I brought my own cushion to make it extra comfy. We shouldn't be having too many turbulences. I am now sipping coffee and turbulences would make it spill and I don't want that. I wish you pleasant flight. The co-pilot has just stepped out of the cockpit to use the bathroom. I am now going through his phone and seeing lovely nudes of his wife. Lucky bastard. Who is gay here? Huh? Who's gay? I believe in collective suicides. Thank you. Ooh, a birch has crashed on the window. One of our air hostess has an STD. Let's try and guess who. Waiting for someone to press the buzzer? Okay, it's me. Anyone wants to guess the color of my underwear? I'm not wearing any. None. Who gained here? Uh, why is it called the cockpit? Was it originally meant for penises? Just wondering. Who gained here? Mayday! Mayday! Crashing! Crashing! Crashing! Mayday! Good attention. Fun fact. It wasn't supposed to be me flying the plane today. The original pilot thought that after checking the plane that it had too many defects. I also checked the plane and yes, many defects. Many. A lot. Endless. Infinite. Measuriless. All synonyms I found on Google. Oh, nice. 777 sale. Ladies and gentlemen, the current time in Singapore is 5.15 p.m. and it is now raining in Seattle. Who gained here? For those in economy class, I am delighted to inform you that business class is much better. I missed the runway for the landing. We'll now try attempt number two. Oh, that's a lovely looking tower. I wonder if anyone's ever landed there before. In 22 years ago? All right, you got me. I'm talking about 9-11. This is Flight FD 9-11, by the way, so I'm surprised enough you saw it coming. Round of applause for 9-11, everyone.