 What do I need? What do I need Internet? I need a shower. I do. I feel kind of gross actually. Welcome to r slash shower thoughts. We all have them. We're in the shower thinking about our grand schemes. It's funny. Is the shower some sort of advanced thought pod? Because when I'm in the shower, I think of so many ideas. I think of so many things. I make up songs on the spot, smash hits, platinum records for sure. And then as soon as I step my wet little ass out of the shower, poof, it's gone. I can't remember a thing that I was just thinking about in the shower. I think the government's probably behind it because the government has not figured out the technology behind the shower. And so that's the one place where our mind can be free and you can use 100% of your brain. But then once we get out of the shower, bam, they signal their f***ing birds that Ronald Reagan had killed all the birds and now they're all drones. And they send their lasers into your brain because they can't penetrate this thick glass that's on the shower door. Slash vinyl from shower curtains. The lasers can't get through it. I hope quarantine ends soon. Welcome to r slash shower thoughts, the place where all of the most wondrous thoughts about the shower go to the internet. I just explain what shower thoughts are, so we don't need to talk about it again. Here we go. Whoever created the tradition of not being able to see the bride in the wedding dress beforehand, saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men. That is kind of true, yeah, yeah. Why, what is, what, hold on. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony. Its original purpose was also to keep the groom from finding out what the bride looked like until the last possible minute, when it was too late to back out of the transaction. We laugh at dogs getting excited when they hear a bark on TV, but if the TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you'd be pretty fucking startled too. Yeah, yeah, actually, that's true. Wow, wow. And it's also just like, you know, you know, Foley is just a recorded audio or whatever, a dog barking. They don't know what the dog's saying. The dog in movies could be saying, because they're just using any old dog bark, the dog could be saying some really nasty stuff, and then your dog at home is just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't say that. That's why they get so upset, because if the dog was just saying, hey, what's up, how's it going? I'm sure your dog at home would be like, yeah, whatever, it's fine. But the dog on TV might be saying some fucked up stuff, dude. When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up? Dude, you're right. Oh, that's so weird to think about. Oh, that's so weird. I'm five years away from when... Wow. My dad was 28 when I was born. I'm 23. I'm going to be 24 in October. I'm almost four years away from the age my dad was when I was born. I can't imagine having a child in four years or ever, to be honest, kids suck. If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status. That's something to think about. That's something to think about, because, you know, this is like I got a walk less. Well, I have the big CEO walk all the way up to the top of the floor. I mean, this is probably obvious, but I just have never really thought about it before. You ever have those thoughts where you're just like, okay, this is obvious, but I've never really thought about it before. It's just something that I sort of accepted. During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are co- God damn. It's not delivery, baby. It's nuclear pizza. Well, so here's the thing, though, about it is that if that were to happen, all of the plastic would be in the pizza. So you'd have to prep a little bit beforehand. If you see the bomb dropping, you got to very quickly unwrap all the pizzas from the plastic and get the plastic out of there. And if there's any cardboard on the bottom, probably remove that too. Just put it out on a wire rack or something, just leave it out. And then you got yourself some f**king good. Zaw, dude. Uh, where's sunscreen, though? Because it'll probably hurt. Anxiety is like when video-making combat music is playing, but you can't find any enemies. Yeah. Uh-huh. Most people know so little that if they were transported 200 years into the past, they wouldn't be able to invent anything any quicker. I wouldn't be able to. Somebody at Google was just like, yeah, just give someone drive down every road f**king on Earth. I wish I could read. They did! That's gotta be boring! Just zig-zag, zig-zag, zig-zag, zig-zag! Up every f**king road, dude! God, that sucks. How many f**king podcasts do you listen to? What do you do? So much Joe Rogan in your ears. That's got to be a boring job. Boring job. And they probably don't get paid a lot, even though Google has a poop ton of money, dude. College students don't want to go to graduation ceremonies, but they go to please their relatives. Well, relatives don't want to go, but to go support the students. We should all just be honest and skip the ceremony and go out for pizza. Amen. We got those nuclear pizzas. We put them all out. We put out like 40, 50 pizzas. We dropped a bomb and then it just push, cooks them to perfection. You know, maybe we walk down the aisle real quick. We throw the thing in the air because that's all people are waiting for is the f**king you turn the tassel and then you flip. They throw the thing in the air and then you say f**king you to the f**king dean or whoever it is. And then you go out for pizza. All the pizzas are lined up and then that's the date. Why do they got to be four hours long? Apparently a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by a crossbreeding bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons. We invented them all by ourselves. Dude, what do you do when it's just like, yo, life, I don't need you to give me lemons. I'll give myself lemons. I'll make my own lemonade. God damn it. This is why we're the most dangerous species on earth. This is why being 35 and not wanting to work in the field for which you've prepared is like being halfway through an RPG in realizing you've built out your skill tree. All wrong. And you can't respect and you can't make a new character. There will never be another video game again. Yuck. Oh, that's a yucky feeling. Yucky feeling. This is why I encourage one item. I don't technically agree with college stuff because it's very expensive and I don't think that it should be as expensive as it is, but whatever. I encourage people taking gap years or a couple years. Don't go directly from high school to college. You don't know what you want to do. The amount of people that know what they want to do right out of high school. Not even this big, dude. Smaller than that. Just take a second. Take a breather. Find a hobby. Find something that you're actually interested in. Don't just be like, oh yeah, I guess I gotta go to college. I'll go to business school, I guess. Also, if you want to save some money because school's fucking expensive, go to a community college for the first two years or whatever. Get your core classes out of the way and then transfer. Why pay a billion dollars to go to the school of your dreams for the first two years when you're learning all the same shit that you would learn for a $15 community college? How much does community college cost? I have no idea. But it's cheaper than a university. Anyway, those are the college tips from a kid who didn't go to college. So trust me, I know best. It would be cool if after you died you could see the top five times you almost died. I don't think anything happens when we die. I think it's just like before we were born, you know, nothing, but you have no sense of time because you're dead. Yes. But I wish that you just had all the access to everything and it's like you can see all the time you almost died. You could see like, hey, was the Loch Ness Monster real? If it was real, show me what it looked like. And it could be like, hey, show me the top kisses that I ever had, dude. Yeah! Biggest poops you ever had? I want to see that. Kind of makes sense that the target audience for the fidget spinners lost interest in this episode so quickly. That's true. That's true. Avatar, the highest grossing film of all time, seems to have made zero impact on culture. Know what I want to do? I want to do an ADD video. 32 pack? Bruh. I'm just going to buy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want a butterfly knife trainer again. There's so much fun. Oh my God. Why am I doing this? Why am I buying this shit? I'm literally trying to save up money for a house. I've been like, Ethan, you should make sure that you budget well and spend less on shit that you don't need because houses are expensive and everything is expensive about it. So save up as much money as you can because for the next, like three to five years, I would love to buy a house and I just spent what? Close to $50 maybe on fucking dumbass toys? If we look back, F***ing Hub has been one of the most innovative video sharing websites. They had a permanent dark mode for years. They popularized the preview setting where you can watch the video without starting it. They're still one of the few to have liked to dislike percentage on display. Dog, they have had dark mode forever. F***ing up. Good job. In the anime, Ash Ketchum is supposed to be a huge Pokemon fan before he left on his journey. But every time he sees any kind of Pokemon, he has to pull out his Pokedex because he doesn't know what it is. Ash Ketchum was a poser before he left on his journey. Dude, he was. He didn't know shit. He didn't know f***ing shit about Pokemon. Who let him be the main character? I wish Misty was the main character. Misty was f***ing sick. The syllables in On Your Mark, Get Set, Go, or Countdown. It's three, two, one. On Your Mark, Get Set, Go. Oh! Dude, this subreddit is blowing my gourd right now. Feminine's mom wanted to. She could probably make a good amount of money selling her own spaghetti sauce. She's calling mom spaghetti. Oh, shit! That's a great business model. Anyway, we've had some thoughts today, guys. Thank you all so much for watching. I hope that you learned something. I hope that you absorbed this knowledge. I'm being a lot today and I kind of love it. Leave me some comments of your shower thoughts. I want to hear your shower thoughts and then I'll make it into content. Everything is content. Nothing about my life is in content. Anyway, I'm going to end it here. Thank you guys so much for watching. Hope you enjoyed. If you did, make sure to slap that like button right in the face. And I will see you guys in the next video. Love you all. Stay cranky. Bye.