 Why 254, imagine. And thank you so much for tuning in to Y254 TV. My name is Sheryl Blessing and you are watching the Power Talk Show. Now this evening I want us to discuss something that really affects every single individual. We want to understand how can we manage stress. In recent months we have been understanding mental health and really going deeper into the issues that trigger mental health and stress is one major factor. And given the times and the generation there are so many influences that can influence the stress level of an individual from a child to the elderly. So I want us to go deeper, understand what causes stress and how we can manage it. And joining me today is Sharon Boothim who is an entrepreneur and a psychology trainee. Welcome Sharon. Thank you. You look lovely here. Thank you. So do you? Thank you, thank you. And next to Sharon is a guest who's basically someone who's been here. Anthony Njenga who is a counselling psychologist. Sorry, you're very welcome Anthony. Thank you so much. I'm glad to see you. You look lovely. Thank you, thank you. It's always nice to see you. It looks like we're not stressed but we will know. I'm blessed. I'm blessed and highly favoured. But you know people who say that most of the time they are normally stressed. When you say you're not stressed you might be stressed. We are managing our stress. That's what we are doing. We may be stressed but we are managing our stress. And we thank Goed for the fact that we are here together again. So I want us to handle this discussion and I'd like you to engage with me on our social media platforms. Tell me what causes you to be stressed. How do you manage your stress? And how do you advise your friends to manage their stress? Go to our social media platforms which is at Y254 and share some of your comments. If you have a question ask me there and we will address that as we progress with this show. So I believe the best way to start this conversation is to understand what is stress. How do we define stress? Anthony, can you give us a definition? I think to me stress is a challenge. Like a normal life challenge. It can be normal and to the extreme it might be abnormal. Now when it becomes abnormal that's where we develop issues like depression. But I'd say stress to me is just a normal life challenge of which you need to understand there is good stress and there is bad stress. But to me I'd say we all need stress at some point in order to keep us moving. I feel like we need to bring it back to there because why do we need stress? The good stress. Definitely. When we specify it like that it's better because most people would argue that they don't have stress. It's actually a phrase that we say is tacky stress as Kenyans. Sharon, how would you define stress in your life? I think I'd choose to differ with you. For me there is no good stress or bad stress. Stress is stress. Anything that gets you pressured up anything that makes you feel like something is not okay that is stress because there are times you can find yourself like you for example or you are at work and you constantly have these deadlines to meet and you realize today I cannot and that's pressure. And at times there is no good or bad stress. Yes Anthony. You know you stress? You know it is you stress? You know it is this stress? Now when I say the good stress, it is the positive stress. The stress that keeps you moving. For example, let me use a very good example. The positive stress is like right now I was rushing in here. Right? I may be stressed that I am late but I know the impact I am coming to bring here is more valuable. You know what I am trying to say? To me that is good stress. There is that stress that keeps you moving the good stress that keeps you going. For example, you have a business plan in mind and maybe that business plan is giving you too much stress but at the end of the day you really want to see this business plan working out because you know what impact or you know what the bigger picture of that business that it will bring to your life. So to me I'd say there is a positive stress, the good stress and that's why I've asked her if she knows you stress or distress which is in Google by the way. Allow me to say this. I believe this. The male version of stress and the female version of stress because for me there is no good or bad stress. As long as I feel pressured whether it's going to be a positive impact or not I think if I may say my husband is like that he's like the stress that can motivate me to do something but at the same time on this other side for me I'm late. So to her there is a gender stress which is not even researched I'm talking about research. There is use stress and distress. There is motivation of stress. There is positive stress that keeps you moving. There is nothing like a gender in stress. So what basically you're saying Anthony is if stress motivates you to do better or to achieve something then it's good stress. Then if it just stresses you out and you wonder what next then that's bad stress. That's what I'm saying. There is use stress and there is distress and that's the thing. And is this affected by the individuals because I can tell both of you are different and to Sharon even that stress that motivates her it's like no that's still stress. So is it because individuals are different or what influence is that? I think I'd say yes individuals may differ at some point but one thing about stress is that at some point in life honestly you'll meet stress, you cannot avoid stress you can't manage stress but you cannot avoid stress and how you deal with the stress is all that matters you understand? So there is individualism in it how you handle it but also stress is actually so normal but how you manage it how you deal with it is what is important. So if you deal with stress in a positive way if you deal with it in a good way that motivates you keeps you going then I think to me that's good stress what do you think? Sharon you still like so can you tell us what are some of the things that he would describe as good stress that still you feel like in your life are things that you can do without as you know you're a parent you're a mum and you're a business owner so what are some of the things that maybe would motivate you to be better as a parent and you still feel like I can really do without this I think one of the things that probably stresses me is having a help at home anani, a house help and for me it got to a point where I'm like you know when a help comes in we were talking with a lady today and we agreed on one thing when they come they shift the ambience in the house you can no longer do this you can no longer dress like this and you have to keep reminding this person most times without even sugar coating some usually take usually use up things more than they would and after having a few I got to that point of yes I need the help but when I remember everything I have to go through with them I'm like yo thank you I will look up I will cook I will do everything and I will be okay because when I think of she's coming she's going to do this she's going to the uncertainty of who this person is the anxiety of someone coming in maybe you won't agree maybe you have to keep telling them don't do that do this the attitudes that are there we are women and is it the way you also give an example like Anthony do you think it's because women tend to worry more and invest emotionally more than men do yes that I would say because when I'm thinking about a help I'm thinking for him on the other side is like do you need help in the house do you need the children taken care of do you need then why don't you have one but on the other side I'm thinking atakuja when you think about you're like there's no point I can still move another day in short you're overthinking about it there is an aspect there is an aspect of overthinking but I understand what she's saying because I've had stories over the help coming I've had stories over the help coming I've had stories over I've had stories over stories over the help coming in they even wear your clothes they cross some boundaries and you know men will not really care about things like that they're like you're taking care of the kids you're here you're cooking you're cleaning the salaries paid that's it but women have to because they help run the household more so women are more invested in that now is it different in business in business not per se because I think in business for me I've chosen to take a day at a time I've chosen to just handle what I can what I cannot we probably face it tomorrow because as you've just analyzed me I'm an overthinker so I will go the extra mile I will go to the shamba I will even get into my customers kitchen in my head you know so the one thing I think works for me is can I do it no so what do I do avoid it and run I won't say it is good but does it help me manage my stress that's your personal coping mechanism and Anthony what other factors will you see affect people and cause stress in situations where someone maybe is not apparent they're a student or they're just working what are some factors that really cause people to have stress loss of job economic crisis like right now let me speak in this perspective of how things are there is the issue of inflectuation in there dollar and Kenya shillings economically it will cost our as a country so I'd say when it comes to stress when it comes to stress when they lose loss can cause you stress and actually in loss it can cause you stress to a point it can get you to depression because they are the first stages of loss and grief but I agree with what she has said first of all because when she has talked about avoiding which there are 4 A's of stress management we are going to talk about it and the first one is avoid the second one is alter the third one is adopt and the fourth one is accept stressful situations which is a good thing but I'd say and I'll still insist at times we find ourselves in stressful situations that we might really not get over the same but we have to manage for example loss there is nothing you can do about loss there are things we cannot change about loss when you lose a partner when you lose someone there are things we cannot change about it and most of the time as human beings we are so emotional we tend to put that into our mind into our emotional state and it affects us to a point it makes us even maybe get into depression have these sciences symptoms but I'd say it's good also to really check yourself have that self analyzing of yourself is this issue that I am stressing about if it's loss if it's loss of a partner if it's family is it worth it because there are things that are not worth stressing about for example you are dating a partner and your partner is so toxic and you love them so much and you have broken up yes as much as you love this person at least you know you thank God for that I know it is stressing you are depressed but there are things we have to cope with you know one thing that affects us that makes us stress is expectations we live in expectations as human beings we expect a lot if we get into something we expect it will work out if we do this and that we expect too much and there is one thing we need to understand it's okay to lose people it's okay if things don't work out if the moment we get to understand some of these things then I think that's where we need to start from and I like that you brought up especially with the relationship aspect walking away from a relationship and the expectations because it's not just our own expectations it's the expectations of our parents our friends, society and I had a very unfortunate story of a young boy in Kisumu County who committed suicide in his classroom Ali in the morning went to school left home and the friends and the classmates came in and found him hanging in the class so this was a child who was stressed and you know most times we don't expect children to be stressed and going through things like this Sharon do you think situations like that make you think the expectations that we place on our children can push them to levels where they can't handle it definitely as a parent right now as a parent I think I'm expecting when my children start going to school and be like now because I know you know a child from birth you know whether they are geniuses, they are brilliant you know your child so for me I think in that part of expecting it is something I really pray I do not have because you take a child to school they start performing the teachers are like your child is bright your child is clever and there are different stages of life even in children they can start up school and they can be very sharp and they can be doing it but then there can be bullying in school and this child will react differently remember I now know what stress is see it I can point it out but a child cannot and that is when you see children they start bedwetting they start being repulsive arguing they start beating other children up so I don't think having those expectations I would want my children to know at the end of the day my mum has my back you can come to me and tell me this teacher did this or this boy in school or this girl in school did this and I will be there to walk with you because I want you to remember I want you to know who you are I want you to remember this me apart from every other person not even just me but the child this me I am enough I do not if I can share personal story while I was in primary school I am from a very very staunch Christian family and while we were in primary school over the holidays the only thing we would watch was TBN so I knew Miles Monroe, I knew T.D.J.X I knew Benny Hinn, I knew Jolina Stain I knew them because that's what I used to watch all the time then we go back to school and people are like niliyanda bash we did this and the only song I knew was Bumba Trin so you can imagine in class and people are talking about all these other songs and the only song you can relate with is Bumba so it causes you to have stress actually not really but somehow because the other children put me aside they would go for birthdays they would go for hangouts they would do every other thing and that's maybe one of the things I feel like I like that example, that was clear I want us to take a very short break and when we come back I want us to tell how can you identify stress because you've mentioned some things that parents may miss or even us as partners, friends, we may miss so let's take a very short break I want you to go on our social media page and comment write any questions that you have go to Y254 tell me what causes you stress and how do you manage your stress so stay tuned, this is Power Talk and my name is Sheryl Blessing much for sticking to Y254 TV my name is Sheryl Blessing and this is the Power Talk show and right before we went on a break we were talking about how we can manage stress and I hope you've gone on our social media platforms at Y254 write me a question write me a comment that you'd like to know and we will sample that as we progress with this conversation so right before we went on our break we were understanding what stress is we've just defined it as some challenges that really affect us and they impact our emotional state our psychological state so I want us to talk about how can we identify stress in individuals let's say you have a friend or a colleague Anthony, how can I tell my colleague is stressed I think the most common is when maybe your friend or your colleague or an individual maybe you're around with or maybe you know the silence naka silence fulani ukuwa very awkward and nowadays, talking of silence nowadays actually squeeze you are to me silence squeeze you are to me memes ko nesha kuna stress true do you know most people ignore when your friends post, let me tell you something when your friends post memes atta wezi ona ni dot you may be thinking maybe they are trying to entertain you or something of the sort but maybe they are trying to avoid something actually let me tell you from a personal personal stuff so there is this not a friend but there is this guy who was so stressed I think depressed and I really wanted to die by suicide and people didn't really know because you know you cannot really tell someone who is depressed unless unless you really know you really check very well so alikwana post memes na in between those memes there was a meme that was relating to it and you know I came to realize it later and nowadays and this is to tell even those who are watching it's important to even check on those friends who post memes don't think that they are just trying to entertain you they may be passing a message through those memes so one of the ways you really tell an individual I'd say is don't assume just if you see a manya maza but the problem is that you know the current society we have right now is we don't bother of what our friends are doing we are minding our own business doing what it takes to keep us moving keep us moving so it's important to really check on that friend of yours because honestly speaking you know even the strongest people are stressed you might be seeing your friends smiling but in that smile there is something they are not telling you and I think I like the way you brought up memes because people use comedy and humor as a coping mechanism and a way to avoid their stress I personally when I go on social media I look for a meme and I am like this can relate, I can drop it at a particular time so things like that you may think someone is just being funny or they are just posting but they might be a message behind it so you have to intentionally be present and ask your friends are you okay, are you dealing with something can we talk about it you cannot easily tell if someone is stressed you can at some point can I throw in a span always checking up on others or rather it's no longer just memes but can it be that we are all stressed such that I am dealing with my own issues so checking up on you is a bit difficult checking up on you is a bit difficult because I have my own issues I am dealing with well I agree with what you are saying but what I would say you always come first I would say try dealing with your issue before you check up on that person you cannot be broken and you are checking on a broken person and you know there are also people who are empaths they feel people's pain but they don't have someone to check up on them so you need to be aware of things like that and I think we were also talking about this earlier Sharon about as an adult you can intentionally want to check up on someone and get caught up in what you are doing in the present moment and forget about it now another thing I want us to talk about is suicide because the rates of suicide have skyrocketed and it makes no sense because we even have kids who are committing suicide Sharon how can you tell if a friend of yours or maybe your partner or someone who is close to you is suicidal because suicide is like among the last things that are depressed or stressed actually a depressed person because we deal with as much as we were not aligning when it comes to good and bad stress we deal with our stresses but as for suicide I don't think because I know someone we were talking we were good, I was checking up on them but then later on they come and tell me do you know I was almost committing suicide once and it hit me because it was like we used to talk we even had a heart to heart so how did you get to that point I don't think there's a way you can know when someone wants to commit suicide it's hard to tell I think there is a way it might not be easy but I think there is a way for example if you are with someone and they don't really care what happens to them it's okay it's okay they are feeling worthless even the statement they actually say maybe you didn't listen to some of the words they were saying because honestly speaking if you are in the verge of dying or trying to commit suicide how they speak there is a way they speak like they are worthless they feel like they are worthless or hopeless and also there is a way when they come out of that both they might start giving away possessions what they like what they like what they like what they like what they like yes very difficult to identify someone to say it all but the problem is we don't really get to hear or listen carefully to what someone says while we are talking to them we just have that friendly conversation and we fail to check or to listen to what they say even in that friendly conversation so the moment you sit down for example they will be having a talk but it just started and they will say ok if you see someone who is don't care if it's a toxic relationship it will turn you away when you sit down and they will say kwa? and that reminded me of that me more when you sit next to your friend and they just broke up and they are speeding on the highway no how they talk exactly because of the conversation because I feel like as human beings we fail to really listen deeply to the words someone says we just listen to what conversation exactly and what if people mask it with being happy because there are people who premeditate suicide they plan the whole thing and in those moments because they know the outcome but they know what they are going to do like life is good everything is ok and you wonder where is this wave of happiness and joy coming from what influences that do you know one thing I'll tell you and I'll tell you when the people are watching happiness is ok it's ok when your friend is happy it's ok when your colleague or your friend or your workmate or classmate is happy but is that weird happiness is that excessive weird happiness the moment you show me you are too happy it shows something for me and tell maybe someone would not really tell but for me there is a way you would be so happy so neat to a point it's a fishy way of trying to mask something it is very difficult to know whether someone is going through a challenge because one thing if I choose to hide it from you I will hide it from you but if you are keen enough to check my actions if I call you don't pick call it the second time you don't pick if you text me I am busy try calling you again try calling someone close to you to see if you are ok when I am here I reach out that's a sign but also the time you assume this person is dealing with a lot they are working, they may be busy doing something they are saying as human beings we are so busy that we forget to see or to check the tale tale signs of our friends or people we are close to if it's a conversation you are having with a friend or with a family member workmate or colleague please be careful and watch even how they behave or they treat let me say for example to go to a job alafu say me leo tu me kuja job umu niyambia bide na jomis kukunia breakfast asubu me fika lunchtime lunchtime me fika unaniyambia you know I don't feel hungry I don't think so we assume maybe we assume but now those are some of the things that you have to take note of so assume and make sure you need to erase this talk of we are so busy that we fail to identify the tale tale signs so it's important starting today when you are with someone even if you are not with them maybe when you try checking up on them and they show signs that they are busy they don't even maybe get back to you they don't respond back to your text maybe you send somebody else to maybe try and check on them but no response they are just avoiding so you have to load these things like that I want us to read the comments very quickly and then we can talk about the management of stress itself so Timo you can pull that up so this is from Facebook I believe and we have wiklif Mugambi who says by sleeping that's a very good way of managing stress Immanuel Minor says watching from Westlands thank you Immanuel Alfred Cura says stepmom unable to reach the cabinet son comes to help I'm not sure what that means but Hamston Muiangisi says Hamston from LD I just read the Bible I just read the Bible and sometimes keep thinking of what I can't change what I can't change reading the Bible helps I don't know how thinking of what you can't change what he is trying to say is accepting what you can't change accepting what you can't change accepting what you can't change is better we have Fever Mwangi who says listening to music thank you Fever that's another good way of managing stress DJ Makati says kwa kuskiza nyumboza pastanga that's pastanga I have I'm just learning this Ayish Okay Iyanu Maliisi watching live from Uganda thank you Iyanu Matthew Guidi says Taveta Boda Loctin Soma Bible thank you so much for that yes spiritual guidance helps Luis Ebilori Ebilori says Busia Amagorotundim thank you for watching us Pedi Wasadam Veka says Theka Turunawapata loud and clear thank you so much Iyanu Mwangi says listening to any song of Nandi Awe Yami kwanza niki wana stressit zamapenzi wana penda kuskiliza wimbo Iyanu Naliya Visuri Bila Wasiwati and I think this relates with most people when you said you play sad music to make you sad I don't know what's up with that but thank you so much for that Nawa Tuamapenzi mwenda ni mwach waimashariki kunaizo songs kwawingi Russ Jerry says Kikuyu Massively Tundin Simon Mugungeru says music and reading thank you so much for that that really helps so music for sure is the go to for most people do we have any of the comments so we've seen music we've seen the bible and we have seen sleeping sleeping is not so sleeping is a way of avoiding so let's talk about how to manage like Sharon has given us a very clear example you avoid some stress what if nibiashara na maybe you have a client who has demands upon demands that you need to meet how do you handle stress like that um I have come to learn the art of talking with the client I am very honest with my clients if I don't have if I have and I cannot deliver the moment I will tell you if I'm running late I will tell you that doesn't mean I do not have clients that are like this and this and this we have the client is always right you know at times the client is just never right but the one thing I have come to try to do is understand where the client is coming from because at times you will find a client has another service provider or they probably know where to source it from but then you forget I am sourcing it for you I am delivering it to your doorstep I am going that extra mile that you find inconvenienced so I have come to learn to just be honest with the client and if I cannot it's okay thank you you just leave it in the words of Abel Mutua Adios Muchachos for your own peace of mind yes now what about finances like Anthony you brought up a very important point the economic times are stressful to most people everyone is feeling the impact of the VAT and the taxes and the fuel and the youth especially who do not have sustainable jobs I even saw a tweet I think yesterday I believe where someone was saying most of the youth are on TikTok and they need to go work to avoid all these things but people are using things like TikTok and social media as coping mechanisms but how do you handle financial stress well financial stress honestly speaking you all need finances and if we don't have the finances yes at some point it might stress us which is okay because at the end of the day you have bills to pay maybe you are the breadwinner in your family you are the first born and you really want that money to maybe buy some few things here and there and maybe you don't have a job and that is really stressing you wondering where you are going to get to feed your family do all those things for yourself right now you don't have those finances and the VAT is not buying the economy is not buying we are trying to see and not only in Kenya this is to say it is globally most of the time we think that economic crisis will happen only in Kenya but it is globally now how you handle financial stress I believe and I will tell you and I will tell the people who are watching you know there are things you cannot change finances what you can do is just try do your part and live it to God and I feel like avoiding pressure because sometimes it is because of the pressure social media avoid pressure that is one thing I will tell you back at home if you are seeing someone on Instagram living the best life they will show you the best parts of their life they won't show you everything so avoid giving yourself pressure because of someone else's lifestyle that is one way and follow there is something Anthony said when he was talking about good pressure if I can agree with you this once thank you when it comes to finances this is that good pressure where you can be like probably I want to live like this person on IG so what will I do I will want to this notion that we now have we can fake it till we make it what are you faking why are you faking instead just go out there there are jobs that we probably demean when we are here but those are the same jobs when you go to other countries you are going to be doing you are going to be sweeping the streets you are going to even be working in the mog why not just wake up one morning and be like I am going to Marikiti I am going to go to Ghidurai 45 I am going to go to Gekomba and go and be a career from there just go when I am going to Marikiti I see a lot of men there and they are like go do it make your 100 make your 200 by the end of the day so to deal with your own pressure make it a good kind of stress go out there sweep the streets if there is one thing I think I find fascinating is when you are happy doing whatever you are doing you can be sweeping the streets and dancing how many times do we have seen cops dancing and doing their thing and they are shining why not shining sweeping the streets as you dance and I feel like also I like what you have said and there is a difference between getting motivation from someone and feeling pressured to live like someone so I would tell people follow people who inspire you who motivate you to do better rather than people who you look at and you are like oh my god we are going to drive Range Rover how can I get a Range Rover tomorrow right before we come to that Timo has given me a comment about people utilizing drugs can we bring that up Timo so the director is telling me that there is a comment where someone says they use weed which is bang to cope with stress and if we are being realistic people in this generation seek drugs and go to alcohol and whatnot and I hope you watched last week's conversation we were talking about drug addiction and how you can be rehabilitated because this are some of the factors that we need to free ourselves from so please go watch last week's episode on YouTube and let's talk about that Anthony would you prescribe seeking drugs and things like this to cope with your stress no no no unless a government drug drugs is a chemist but not bang and not nicotine or these hard drugs because you know most of the time people tend to go to these drugs or alcohol thinking that this will solve their issues but honestly speaking alcohol and drugs worsens actually if you stress just normal stress and you opt weed or alcohol it will make you now depressed so drugs alcohol don't really help it actually worsens and one thing just repeat what I was saying most of the time we tend not to really care about our friends because we are so busy and maybe you have a friend you now nangana pigangashere kila time ano kumbeni aje nimenda embasi nimenda this and that the following weekend and stuff and we assume maybe anajaribu kutua stress but let me tell you something and I'll just tell you for a fact if you see your friend or you have a friend who goes out every single weekend ask them are you really okay because honestly speaking as much as most people would argue that maybe kunashere ni stress niki niki dogo tu niki dogo tu kuha fun but you need to really be aware of what kind of fun you have a kind of fun you will have and it will make you get depressed or other serious mental illnesses so please if you're watching me weed whichever drugs you're using it is not healthy please reach out and buy and seek help but if you see kumbia kwa pombu kumbia kwa madawa all in the name of this will help me reduce my stress it will not it will worsen if for anything the only thing it does it is temporal because if you're drinking or you're high on weed when you're high you're not thinking you're just zoned but the thing is umendo me kunyo umekunyo ni zingaka mambili tatu ume invite marafiki ume taftama de what have you done because you've been spending more yes you've minused from your pocket so if you are stressed about money ila ki dogo li kwa na yo misha if it's weed you start getting addicted to it and now even fighting the addiction is another issue so you're no longer just stressed but you're now an addict you're stressed and addicted which is a problem and you also said sleeping is not a coping mechanism is it because it's similar to what she is saying it's a temporary solution exactly so when you wake up your problems are still there also just imagine you're stressed and you sleep you'll be sleeping what if you wake up same issues you'll find them there so when you're stressed read a book deal with the root cause exactly and what if people argue that because we had a conversation and I think one of the guests previously said they will sleep, relax and then wake up feeling like they have energy to now tackle the issue what if someone argues with that and says it's a stress and then what if you're stressed because I've had some time to process and think it through what would you say to that Anthony? well I think what you're trying to introduce to your body is what is harmful because yes if you're stressed but are you looking at the the effect even though you're stressed but your health is affected if you're stressed because of high blood pressure just because of making that decision and one thing when you wake up you'll find a problem and if you wake up you'll have conversations and if you wake up you'll find a problem it's very addictive I love you I love you realize at the end of the day when you wake up you'll find a problem and you'll find a problem but at the end of the day when you wake up before you start dealing with whatever made you to drink you start dealing with other issues so you're kind of like postponing because I think I've had a situation over this guy who was going through issues with the girlfriend so he got angry was drinking now it's a whole thing you have to pay for this person to repair the cup you have to deal with the police and still the issues with the girlfriend but it was equal so you would advise not doing that so what are the healthy coping mechanisms you mentioned reading a book yes, number one just read a book free online books online number two, John Ling or maybe John Ling but one thing you need to do just go buy maybe a book it might not be a journal book but just buy a book just start writing down what maybe are stressed in that day and in that journal include a gratitude journal what are you grateful for we tend to look at our challenges but we don't look at what we are grateful for or thankful for I really advise as much as your John Ling a space mahali una kuna gratitude journal now the other thing is reading a Bible I'll tell you for a fact and people maybe might differ with me I say I want to rather than a pastor I need to be a fact what is mental health let's define mental health in those four things psychological emotional social and spiritual so ata kama tufanye ni ni kwa zana iwa al diya say na jukuna tumaze tiki kuleze uswali buu juli zuli na chachili ni muisho ata kama utasoma Bible but try connect yourself with God or whichever religion you are in it is important kuna online services we have gone online we have gone digital so you do not necessarily say I have to go to church wake up on Sunday or even during the week kina prisila shaya kina they have script they have some months online and you know YouTube kuna all these pages ata ya 20 minutes 15 minutes 4 minutes I like what you have said reading the Bible reading, journaling this are a few ways you can cope na una do kuna stress zingi na inyo kusimu kule by your own strength who is on so let me read some more of your comments this is still Facebook young teddy says I control my stress by sleeping or by just calling my mum to give me advice that's nice that's a unique one calling your parents Paul Karanjakariuki says I'm just a hustler not a manager but how do you hustle with stress if you are a hustler weeklyf Mugambi says do we have any more comments yes obed says naskizam zikim zikim zikinam zikipia yes Kate Rin Shiko says and then she says thank you so much so I like the fact that that one comment says they reach out to their mum and Sharon I know your parents are like one of your strongholds so how have you found them to be beneficial when you're dealing with stress that maybe you feel like it's way too overwhelming for you just listening you do not at times I feel like we want to give advice but the advice we offer becomes more stressful so sometimes just listening the times I can tell my mum I just want you to listen us young and I'll speak it out and I'll be like you know just listening and I feel like that also I think you as a friend we need to learn how to listen to our friends because what she was saying sometimes we hear but we don't listen to what the individual is saying Anthony you had something to add to that I think most people say music music is okay and it's showing that most of the young people or people in this generation right now are listening to a lot of sad songs which is not really good because the moment you listen to a playlist your image is heartbreak heartbreak you know I went to a place Macho Z2 you wondering what's going on I went to a place I went to Macho Z2 and I was listening and I was listening to lyrics and I was like are you okay and honestly they said no because they feel like this music that I'm listening to this sad music it relates and goes through and maybe it will calm down and it will try to solve our issues and you see by just listening to that music they were really okay they opened up to me and said you know what I don't think I'm okay but I'm really trying to be so yes as much as you listen to music make sure it's music that inspirational music motivation usiko na skiza 2 mboza I've been drinking alcohol for the past that's a sad music and you there relates you know but you know you can work on that issue don't feel like you're alone or maybe not for the time yes that's what I actually wanted to ask you do you think the words or those things really influence the way our lives become I believe they it manifests because I've been drinking at times you'll find that person still has a glass next to them so they are singing they have that kawaii they're drinking more you're doing your thing in the house you have your glass there so it manifests and I think that's one thing we need to understand you know I feel like in this generation we really talk about manifestation but the content we take in the words of the music the movies we watch the books we read and the people we follow they influence our lives because if you see a reality of someone who's sad broken or no offense there was an album of someone who was talking about killing the ex and it was very it's been very popular this year one thing people don't understand is they're manifesting that into their lives so I hope you take that away be conscious about what you're listening even what you watch so I want us to wrap this up lemme start with Twanzana Anthony Anthony usually has a lot to say so let us start with Anthony or Sharon who do we start with I have a question before we wrap up apart from just listening to music or reading the Bible or just reading or speaking it out can we work on the root cause of the stress issue because I believe just listening to music just reading just speaking out just dealing with whatever is bringing that stress we will be going round we will just be listening to music reading sleeping, eating because there are people who cook up with eating but can we really deal with what is bothering us I feel like we need to be honest with ourselves and be like this is what is bothering me I need to find out the root cause yes the root cause and how can I handle it and let's include that in your parting short how you identify it and how you even avoid it in future so that you take away the problem entirely so just tell us briefly and then just a parting short of how people can manage stress and how they can find you in social media and your personal pages if you are watching me one thing I will tell you for a factor is that if you are really going through don't feel like you cannot manage it you can manage it and it really whatever if you want to manage this stress you have to accept that you are stressed because you cannot change if you don't accept if you still in denial that you are stressed then you can never manage it you can never deal with it so it's important to realize what you do right now if you are stressed is what that really matters if you have a family talk to someone can I leave my number can you imagine it down my number is 0725-029398 I am a counseling psychologist I am a mental health advocate you can talk to me my social media handles at official Anthony Jenga on Instagram and tiktok on Facebook Anthony Jenga thank you thank you so much that was the first time you said something brief I always love having Anthony on set what would you advise someone who is watching you at home about how they can handle their stress number one deal with the reason why you are getting stressed it might not be easy it might take a lot of energy a lot of time but make sure you deal with it because once you have dealt with it once you are done you are out of there and the best part is also recognizing what got you there because you will always be noticing it as it comes and you can easily avoid it you can easily know how to deal with it as Anthony said journaling helps and never feel like you are never enough you are enough as you are with your misgivings with however you look however you feel you are enough all the time and remember you come first but not in a toxic way in a positive way thank you that was very well said you come first I hope you will take that with you so I want to read our parting short for the day and this is by MP Nyeri who says one of the best ways to reduce stress is to accept the things that you cannot control I love that that is very well said and that summarizes the entire conversation accept what you can't change deal with what you can change and be sure over what you can handle so that's it for today I want to thank the entire team Timohu is the best producer the best director Alan the camera operator Muadjuma up there every single person on the team thank you so much for tuning in today I hope you tomorrow will have a repeat of this show between 1 and 2pm this has been Power Talk and my name is Sheryl Blessing