 It's Blade vs. Hellboy vs. Sin City vs. The Crow on Movie Feuds. Speaking of prison, Wesley Snipes is awesome as a vampire killing Katana, wielding Daywalker. So when he was offered the role as Blade, it seemed like a perfect fit since he was already doing that shit in his daily routine. He works with a foul-mouthed country bumpkin named Whistler, played by Chris Christofferson. They have great chemistry with Chris doing his best to keep Blade in check. He's a mentor, a father figure, and he's 100% dedicated to the cause of wasting The guy's rough and tumble. He's got mileage on him, which is the perfect transition to the gentleman of Sin City. These guys are weathered, to say the least. Bruce Willis' heart again has a bum ticker and very little patience for assholes. Then there's Marv, a guy who looks like hammered shit. He can take a hit, and has no problems dolling out the punishment. Clive Owen is the cleanest of the bunch, which says very little when you live in Sin City. Elijah Wood plays a creepy as fuck cannibal mute, and T3's Nick Stahl is the yellow bastard. The ladies of Sin City are just as tough if the men, if not tougher, they manage to keep their looks in better graces, though. Jessica Alba really steps out of her comfort level here, playing a stripper named Nancy Callahan. Typically, when you hear Jessica Alba, you think more acting heavy roles, like Into the Blue, Honey, or Fantastic Four. So doing something so sexualized really must have been a struggle for her. I'm a sarcastic person. Rosario Dawson, Carla Gugino, and even Rory Gilmore herself, Alexis Bledel, can be seen walking the mean streets. There are so many people in this damn movie. Jamie King, Michael Madsen, Benice Del Toro, the late Michael Clark Duncan, the late Brittany Murphy, the late Josh Hartnett. He's still alive. Okay. On the flip side of that is the crow with really two recognizable names. Ernie Hudson and the man of the hour, Brandon Lee, who unfortunately wouldn't live to see the final product as he was killed on set by a prop gun at the tender age of 28. So the final cut of the film featured multiple versions of the crow, some played by Lee himself, some by stand ins, stunt doubles, and good old fashioned CGI. It's a damn shame that Hellboy 3 will probably never see the light of day. The first two flicks are really good. Ron Perlman knows he's not the easiest on the eyes. He played the beast in the live action TV show in the 90s, a gruff motorcycle gang leader in Sons of Anarchy, and our main hero, Hellboy, a red demon from hell. And no, not all demons come from below, some come from above. My boy Lex Luthor Jr. taught me that in BVS. These movies are all much better films than that. Even with his looks that could kill and not in the flattering sense, Hellboy still manages to get himself a love interest. A smoking young gal named Liz Sherman, represented by Selma Blair. Abe Sapien, voiced by Doug Jones, is my favorite of this ragtag group. An extremely intelligent fish man, which I'm sure is the technical term and exactly what they use in the comics. The bad guys are all pretty unremarkable, outside of a cool assassin who has a wind up clock for a heart. Crow's villains have some of the greatest names ever. T-Bird, Skank, Tin Tin, and the world class crime lord himself, Top Dollar. These also sound like stripper names. I enjoy the villain of Blade, a spoiled shithead with one of the coolest names around, Deacon Frost. Pun is always intended there. Since City wins for its villains, let's move on. Blade and Crow are similar in the fact that they're both revenge films. Blade's mother was taken from him as a child by Deacon Frost. As our day walker hunts down his mother's murder, it's revealed the vampires are also searching for him. His rare blood will bring forth a new and more powerful vampire strain. Eric Draven, a.k.a. the Crow and his soon-to-be bride were violently murdered on the eve of their wedding day. Eric is resurrected on the anniversary of his death and vows to seek justice for his wife by killing everyone responsible for her terrible fate. I've slowly been doing the same thing to the staff responsible for Battlefield Earth. Since City falls multiple story threads that eventually interweave, it's like Seinfeld if the show featured multiple decapitations, vulgar dialogue, over-the-top action, and gratuitous nudity. Essentially the same otherwise. Baby Hellboy is discovered by the military and raised in confinement at a top secret facility. He struggles internally with his place on Earth amongst the humans. He even goes as far as to file down his horns to look more normal. Much like Blade, Red is the key to the magical Nazis' plans to rule the world. This sends how most comic book movies do with our hero fighting a giant CG creature. Not bad, but a bit generic. As much as I enjoyed the fragmented storylines of Sin City, I think Blade really sunk its teeth into me the most. We're having fun doing these. The concept of a half-man, half-vampire laying waste to an entire species purely out of spite is pretty amazing. He thinks they have no value, that they're the cancer of this planet. They are essentially the Kardashians. Much like my masturbation schedule, a bulk of the action takes place in seedy back alleys, nightclubs, subway stations, dilapidated buildings, and there's probably a Walmart in there somewhere too. The crow has certainly aged the worst, but it's also the oldest, so that makes sense. Granted, the first Jurassic Park still looks better than the sequels, so maybe my excuse is for the birds. And it doesn't fly. Like a crow. Why aren't we doing a pun counter? I will say the action looks pretty realistic, especially in the shootout scenes. Like when the crow himself got shot. Is that too soon? Blade has some pretty sweet action, ranging from sword fights, gunplay, burning a fat fuck with a flashlight, and an overly cartoonish CGI final battle. The vampires burst into skeleton fragments after being shot, burned, stabbed, etc. It's stylish and cool, much like my uncle's tear drop tattoos. Hellboy mixes between computer-generated battles and live action, sometimes jumping back and forth multiple times in a minute. Like a joke on Family Guys, Sin City is very hit and miss. Fortunately, there's so much going on that there's something new right around the corner. The film is lifted sometimes frame-for-frame from the graphic novel. The weather effects like rain and snow are downright beautiful. The black and white treatment really sets this film apart from the others, and the occasional use of color helps to tell the story even further. Sin City has terrific music too, but I think the trailer for this film really hurt. It's possibly one of the best movie trailers I've ever seen, and it's mainly due to the awesome song Sells by artist The Servant. I enjoyed Sin City quite a bit, but it never reached the level the trailer wanted it to. The crow soundtrack is an ode to an era of grunge rock music. Nine-inch nails, rage, violent fems, Pantera, and many other bands are featured. Blade shares a lot of similarities to The Matrix in terms of style. They all have leather jackets, they rock the shades, the music's kind of that upbeat techno. The film opening is still one of the best intros to a character ever produced. Blade fucking up a vampire rave in a meat locker while a sprinkler system pumping out blood rains from above. All while a techno track is blaring, composer Marco Beltrami sets the stage in Hellboy with very nice orchestral pieces. For me, it's the least memorable in terms of standout musical cues, but that's because the others are just so damn good. I think all these movies are pretty special, and choosing a winner is no easy task. Hellboy is incredibly underrated. Blade is criminally underappreciated. The crow will probably be rebooted, and Sin City was given a pathetic sequel. For me, the winner is Blade, and for many reasons, but just a couple right out of the gates, it's a hard-art film, which is refreshing, you don't see a lot of them in the comic book world. It's also one of the first comic book movies to come out in like a decade. There was a long lull of nothing, so it restarted that resurgence of comic book films, which will never die now. It has scares, it has emotional moments, terrific action, and built a unique universe. I want to hear from you now. Like, comment, subscribe, vote, Twitter, Facebook, other bullshit. And remember, this is more than just reviews, this is movie feuds. How sad is it that we are going to have five Transformers movies and only two Hellboys? Fuck happens. The ladies of this world are tough, if not tougher. My god, it's a fucking house of cards.