 This guy, his goal over the last couple of years has been to have sex with less women each year Yeah, he said to me, you know what, this year knocked it down to 80 Yeah, it's like good for you. Good for you. Yeah, he would have sex with a hundred plus girls a year I'm not joking. Now before you're like There was there was certainly he certainly had some advantages. He's six foot three. He's black. He's ripped as fuck He's a rapper Has been known to deal drugs and And I know because I'm back in more of the crazy days I was in but we were involved in like some wacky group sex situations that he's a huge fucking cock It's ferociously big and incredibly intimidating to be around Yeah, you're trying to be you're like Right So anyway, the point is You've got all you've all got the visual. Okay, you can imagine him. All right So you're a perfect hot black dude who's really good with women and really good in bed so this friend of mine she slept with this guy many years later and Me and her have had a very very open and honest relationship since we were lovers and been friends for many years And so I sat her down. I said, hey, so Chloe, I'm curious. So you slept with Flows. I heard it and you know all night and I'm just curious to know like obviously he was better in bed than I was but I'm just curious to know what was the difference Like how was it different? And she said no, you're better in bed. I said come on Like we've known each other much too long. You don't have to you know have to fucking Look after my ego. I'm like, of course. He was better. I'm just want to know how it was different She said you were better in bed And I said how is that possible he's fucking usually hung and he's like a you know sex pneumatic machine fucks all my I'm never gonna sleep in this house and She said something really powerful. She said Jamie you understand that you can't fuck every woman the same way. I got it Because this guy was a sex machine. Yeah, but according to her He only had one setting Yeah He fucked every woman pretty much the same way because that's the way he did it That's why you like to do it. And that's what worked most of the time or whatever reason but I Know I'm a fucking amazing lover because every time I'm with a woman. I want to find out what she really likes What pushes her buttons? What's different for her? If you want to be great in bed because yes, you want to know what women want they want great sex They want orgasms because there's this there's horrific stuff going on out there Well, I think the average sexual experience lasts like men last five to seven minutes. That's been documented Okay, it's up from the 50s where it used to be three to five minutes. So Good, but there's a whole lot of really average a really shit sex happening out there for women And the thing is for a guy even if it's really shit leasty sort of we will least came right Yeah, for a woman through five to seven minutes is not enough time to do anything really Yeah, so there's a whole lot of very unsatisfied women sexually So if you want to become a great Sejuicer and you want to have high quality amazing women in your life. You're gonna have to be amazing in bed but that is not about you know this kind of Herculean stamina and knowing some special secret, you know squirting techniques, which I mean that's good that is If you know how to do that, that's cool. There are technicalities. Yes You need to know where a clitoris is need to know how to manipulate the G spot. You need to know technical aspects, but More important than that a great lover is a man who is able to communicate and be sensitive to the fact that each woman is very different and So much so because it's unfair because if a woman learns how to give a really good blowjob to one man She can give a really good blowjob to the entire planet Yeah, there's only one like you once you know it you got it. Yeah Whereas, you know the guys with his girlfriend learns how to give the best head to his girlfriend You know, he is he's he's a sex machine. He's he's amazing and he goes to a new girl and does that she's lying. They're going Sucks Yeah, so much variation in terms of a woman's physiology You know some girls who want you to rub their clitoris like this and some girls when you touch it It's too too sensitive. Yeah, so learning to be able to communicate with a woman and actually find out That not every woman likes to be fucked the same way is what will make you a great lover Yeah, and I'll leave you with just like one technical aspect on that Well, how do you communicate that because that can be awkward, you know, how do you find out sexually what a woman wants? Don't ask questions like is this good Because if you ask a girl While you're going down on her is this good what she gonna say? She's gonna say yes. Yeah, because it's she doesn't it's it's awkward She's how she can explain. No, it's gonna hurt his feelings or whatever else you phrase the questions in terms of things like How do you like this better? harder or softer Do you want more or less of this? Yeah, so that you give you're only giving her options to make to improve the sexual experience not to say not to just back out of it And say yes, no, that's fine That's that's the kind of communication verbally that will vastly improve your your abilities as a lover Yeah So I had a lot more I wanted to talk about sex But that's the best that I could boil it down to in the time that I had so To wrap up in this full spectrum of what makes you an amazing man who gets what he wants out of life You must always also consider Those people around you the best way to get what you want is to make sure that those around you get what they want In terms of being a business leader or whatever else Yeah, I live exactly the life that I want and it's really fucking enjoyable. I travel all the time I have sex with really interesting really beautiful women. I have amazing friends and I have a really interesting crew that's around me and I look after all those people all the time That's what an alpha male is He's a tribal leader who makes sure that the tribe is looked after not a tyrant or not some kind of slash and burn opportunist Yeah, so on an individual level with the women that you want need to start to work out What it is that's missing in her life What her emotional needs are and then you can present them to her and then you become super fucking valuable Then you become totally worthy Yeah, then you have entitlement to have her because you're giving her what no man can no matter how rich or powerful or whatever else because he Doesn't care or he doesn't know how to find out And that I believe is all I have time for thank you very much gentlemen All right guys Hey, we're a little pressed on time, but three questions to short one long If it goes over You're gonna pay. All right bring it on Brilliant speech James. Thank you. Um, all right, so With me a lot of the times I get with a girl She would want me to be a boyfriend. Yep Yeah, how do you deal with that sort of look? I just want a bit of casual. Okay understood. All right good question Firstly, I know that the speech that I gave at 21 convention in London this year is Mainly about that so I believe you know, it'll come out at some point, right Anthony You're gonna go to here This talks a whole lot about basically all the types of relationship models that you can fit into and How to how to do those effectively in a nutshell though it comes down to this fact If girls keep wanting to be your boyfriend, it's because you keep presenting them the option of being their boyfriend It means that you are giving her a whole lot of evidence that you would be a great boyfriend and you're acting like one Yeah, if you want to have a casual relationship, or you want to be you know her Fling or whatever you you need to show her that you offer different things than the boyfriend guy does. Yeah, I I have lots of short-term relationships that are quite intense quite intimate But the girls know I'm not they settle down boyfriend for three years kind of guy right not right now anyway So because I do things like I don't hold a hand in public Yeah, I don't sit there smooching with her. I don't hang out with her friends and her family You know, I don't talk about our futures together and all this kind of stuff. I take her on wild sexual adventures Pretty much the only touch I do in public is slapping on their ass Running my hand up the inside of a leg under under a restaurant table because I'm her lover. That's what a lover does Yeah, because I'm there to provide That set of emotional needs and sexual needs for her and not other ones and I let her know I'm not standing in the way of you finding a guide to fulfill those other needs Which I know you may have in terms of reliability stability or that deep emotional connection and so on I'm this I'm here for this and I do this really really well And if you try and put me in any other box, it's not going to work Yeah, so what's what's happening there is simply that you are not communicating what role you are able to offer her properly That's it. So you need to start looking at how do I let her know that no, I've got a great offer for you I've got some cool stuff to give to you Cool experiences set sexy fun exciting, but it's not those ones Does that make sense? Okay, and Okay, if you can look at that's that speech which I gave is like an hour and a half on that topic specifically that will give you more insight Guys, I hate to say we have time for just one more actually here we go I'm hey James great speech Just with I think a piece of being a leader is being decisive in like unclear situations Yes, so say mostly like you've been a bit wishy-washy and then you wanted to go ahead and cultivate decisiveness Right, and you're growing so you're facing a lot of unclear Characters that you haven't been before right so in those scenarios So what can you give a few tips of how to go about cultivating decisiveness as a characteristic? It's one of it's one of those ones where it's it's really like be decisive Because yes, you're right And it's a really important point that I think a Characteristic of a great leader is that they are adaptable because you know even when you set out whatever plan that that will shift The guy that's able to go so I'm taking this girl to this awesome pizza restaurant. I get there and it's burnt down Yeah The guy who just goes fuck and my dates ruined on this is terrible immediately is lost You know lost the race the guy who goes wow my favorite pizza restaurant has been burnt down All right, there's a late-night deli. Well, let's go and grab some stuff and have a peek peek in the park Yeah, he's going he's going to suddenly change disaster into a success. Yeah, so But the thing is I think the thing that stops guys from being Developing decisiveness is the idea that there is a perfect decision to make There isn't There's there's infinite possibilities and there's a whole lot of them which would be fine or good or awesome and there's a and pretty much If once we start just making decisions Then even if it was not quite the best decision will be able to recalibrate it move it You know the search for the perfect decision will lead you to be paralyzed Yeah, just by taking leadership and making decisions you cultivate that automatically, yeah, I Think that's the best I can give you right now Guys