 Please ignore whatever is going on behind me. I don't think I can stop them. I think marbles is cleaning kermit So full disclosure I think today's video is gonna be a little longer than I would usually post on this channel a little more in-depth a little more Relaxed and that's because I hit like three major milestones on my channel in the last couple weeks I reached 16 million subscribers. I reached 2 billion views and this is my 300th video So today I'm feeling like very sentimental, but if you don't make it through the entire thing I just want to say thank you so much for supporting me and caring about me and Treating me like a human being for so many years now, and I just really appreciate it So people have been requesting that I do this for quite some time I was the tag that was going around for a little bit where people react to their old videos and I Really didn't want to do it for a couple of reasons The first of which is because it makes me absolutely cringe to watch my videos Don't like to watch them I don't watch them as a matter of fact We have a rule in this house when people come over and sometimes we like to sit in the living room and hang out and watch YouTube videos you're not allowed to watch other people's videos, which is a rule that Ryan Higa thinks is Hilarious to break just because it's so it's hard to watch yourself and it's like cringy especially if it's old just It's just weird man And the second reason I didn't want to do it was because it felt like the ultimate jumping of the shark That's the definition of your channel jumping the shark right you reacting to your old videos It just feels so meta and so ridiculous I got to thinking in my Sentimentalness then it really wasn't such a bad idea and then I guess I would like to do it I get a lot of comments a lot of times from people saying that they like my old videos And you know they want me to do things like I used to and every old video of mine I've watched the video sucks like half of them. I didn't even export them, right? Like they're wrong They're just so awful and then on top of that the subject matter is pretty cringe not that I do much better now You know everything I put up is a little questionable Reflecting back on the things that I've done in the past I just get a sense that I've grown up a lot and I hope that you feel the same way You know, I think I will always have a relatively immature sense of humor But I am certainly a full grown adult at this point, which I like a lot And what's that saying that every seven years or something all of your cells turn over so you're technically a different person I do very much feel like in comparison to the girl that was Uploading videos yelling and screaming obscenities. I am definitely a grown-up version of her Now's the time. You just gotta suck it up man. Just gotta watch some cringe. Here we go All right, I'm gonna go all the way back to what looks like the first video on this channel Okay This was a good video at the time, but I do remember exporting it completely wrong. So Everything's like pixelated. Oh man. This is brutal. I realize that a lot of this has copyright music And I don't really know what to do I'm not sure I can even watch it. So Jenna, what's your strategy here? You going all glazed? I mean these guys are veterans at this point. They're a very nice young girl with a very large trip on her shoulder And quite the strong Boston accent And Yet again, I mean that was my job to go have fun and make a video that day and export it And it's all pixelated. I'm still incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that This type of quality shot on a potato still exists on my channel So also just to give you a little backstory I started the channel Jenna marvels because my first channel was called J morey six six Which is my real last name and my mom was trying to get a job at the time And it was sort of ruining all of her Google searches because my YouTube channel kept popping up I think it was like 2009 or whenever I created the Jenna marvels channel was only because my first channel I had my real last name in it like a genius. So I want to go over to that channel and see what's happening right now This is on fire and so is the rest of the song There was a fire at my job and as a good employee. I put the fire out the fire extinguisher But can we just talk about this tan? I Was working at a tanning salon and I was just like this is a good look now to be fair I don't have any makeup on so it looks extra crazy. I'm less orange now Sometimes I still air out a little on the side of orange, but I am past this phase Thankfully because this is just I'm offended You know, I'm surprised that my face doesn't look like pure leather at this point like maybe a little bit But it really should look like pure leather Naughty look at his face He looks so young I mean again I don't know if I can even play more than a couple seconds of this because of the copyright and music because I didn't Know any better. I didn't know all of the rules of the internet before I started posting things to the internet How to trip people into thinking you're really good looking if you were born really ugly like me have no fear girl like that It looks like it feels like Doritos because it did feel like Doritos I mean at least I look a little less tan in this video, right? And I recrolled everybody which I'm very proud of I like this one because it's like I can't post a video on The internet now without people being like I hate your eyebrows like your eyebrows are the worst like they're kind of shaped a little crazy So I gotta do the best that I can but like come on. I've come a long way. Those things are Demonic looking. I like to pop myself up. The voice is very jarring And I know that I still sometimes talk like that But I mean it's it's a lot if you could just dial it back like a bunch of notches It'd be really great. It's 24,000 dislikes I mean, I can't say that I blame you But I mean at the time this was what started everything on YouTube for me in 2010 I mean it was an acceptable video like now people are like I liked your old videos like look at this It's like two minutes of just someone like squawking at you and putting on Copious amounts of makeup. It's a little funny. It is I would say the funniest thing about this video at this point is that people still don't know how to say that title They're like that video where you're like teaching people how to be hot. This is quite the title I don't really do clickbait. I'm just like the most descriptive title that I can make is what goes up there That video though is like it's so cringy. It's so cringe Why would you go in there when you have this giant living room all to yourself connected to you? Like this so There's a copyright ensign in the background. I can't even fully understand what I'm saying Like in front of us like someone was like I didn't like when she made fun of him by calling him gay But it shows how she's grown in the past few years as a person. It's very true I've said words in the past that just aren't okay a lot of my older videos like I said Some words that are just offensive I think having a comment section and always reading the comments has helped me a lot as a person You know kind of grew up and realize that I don't want to talk like that. I don't want to be like that I don't want to use the words that I use and I just stopped I'm pretty sure that I've only ever cried like three times on the internet I think one was when I got marbles one was when I got Kermit and one was when we got peach It like to me, there's some of like the sweetest happiest moments of my life So I'm like really happy that I have a video of them, but the video is so bad Okay, the only camera that I owned at this point was my laptop That was my boyfriend Jimmy in the background who had come with me The whole thing on my So cute Let's sound All right, I mean like looking back now I probably should have done a more calm job introducing them to each other But he was so sad the first couple days. All I did was cry Look how skinny Just to anyone that ever complains about me uploading videos of my dogs I mean, I've been the same since day one so five years ago. I made how to avoid talking to people You don't want to talk to again Really great title. God this video sucks. All right, so I'm pretty sure I invented this and I liked it Okay, again the worst quality the worst audio just terrible terrible all around So what do you do you walk away? I don't work out almost every shot You can see my arm go like this towards the end because I'm stopping recording I don't even like give myself a beat to then cut it I get it. I know why people like it. It was silly and such a bad video now It's like not entertaining at all sort of drags on you get it. You make a goofy face. I Do you have to keep watching it the accent is killing me. She seems like a nice girl I get a lot of comments of people being like can you do rants like people that pissed me off at the gym? And then they'll go and watch this and like this whole video Kind of garbage Like I see a lot of people that do storytime videos and stuff now and I get it Like I've always gotten why people like to watch that. I'm just I'm not that angry Really, I would never at this point in my life think just sit down and make a video about someone looking at my Electrical, I think it's just a matter of perspective Maybe what I choose to spend my time thinking about because it's not really this anymore Like just by this first sentence though, I don't know who's watching these videos I'm literally saying this as like I post them to my Facebook page I assumed the majority of people that were watching it had probably been to my house or would come soon Meanwhile, it's like everyone that's watching this has not been to your house Would carry on Like during those shots on looking at the camera looking at myself In the laptop This wouldn't even be like a vine of this one So bad the internet has changed so much That was I feel like in a time on YouTube where anything over a couple minutes people just clicked away You didn't want to watch because people were there for short-form Entertainment and now you know you'd sit and watch an hour Podcast or more you can watch hours and hours the things on YouTube people really want to do that It's just another thing that confuses me and people are like make videos like your old ones I'm like what do you mean like two minutes of me doing almost nothing in a video that took maybe three hours tops To shoot and edit. I think I also had every intention of taking this clip out of my hair I just never did it. I remember shooting this video. I was done shooting it and editing it by like noon That was the thing though, you know, you could do a video in the morning and have it be done by noon And just upload it because it's only a bit long Okay, there's an example of me just saying bad words for the sake of saying that laughing out of pure embarrassment and also this face This was like the height of people really not knowing what I was doing or understanding and like having to explain to people Look up my YouTube channel and it would be like this and they Understandably would be like Jenna. I feel like you're throwing your life away. I'm like you might be right I've had recent requests of people being like, can you please make a video like magic? What is it about this video that you're looking for me to recreate? Was it just that I drew all over my face or was it like that it's a minute of nonsense? I think like my entire Life will be a cycle of me looking back and everything I've ever done being like this is horrible. I hate it All right, I'm gonna watch what girls do on the internet which sparked a whole series of what girls and guys do which I have quietly let die So here's an example of a video that I probably wouldn't make again, that's just called people I would fuck lady Gaga in any outfit I would do absolutely anything the tall guy from epic mealtime wants me to do most of the last like so awkward because I never first saw meeting them Way to go. How do you mean you can watch which is a slot? Will Ferrell at any age with any hairstyle? You know choice word feel again. I've grown up a little bit from this video in particular I'd like to click away now if that's okay. What bitch is where at the airport? choice of words Fantastic, it's looks so embarrassing for them to think that I like talk like that all the time And I really got to a point in my life where people are like you're way more calm in person Then you are in your videos, and I'm like who knows the time and a place to be pissed off And of course, you know, sometimes I'm still like on a rant and I'm on fire And I'm just like I gotta just get all this out right now But that's not anybody all day every day looking back on some of these like angry rants Like I would hate for people to think that that's what I'm like constantly because that's obnoxious And so I really did and I made an effort to make sure that what I was portraying on the internet was Actually who I am More of the time rather than the yelling angry version like look as I'm shooting it the sun sets It's just it's been a long road to get to the point where you know me being how I am in any given moment is Enough to have a fun YouTube channel And I don't always have to like turn something on or off in order to make what I want to make or say what I want to Say that you can say it in a way that it's not so jarring that took me a while to learn I think when I put up Landshark it was unlike anything that I've uploaded and people were like what the fuck is this? People hated it when I uploaded it like I had to go on Facebook and people were like I hate you for this This is the worst thing I've ever seen like I don't like you anymore after I uploaded it I really genuinely thought that I would never do anything like that ever again because it Genuinely pissed people off and that's another thing about some of these videos is like maybe there's it didn't come out Right or it doesn't seem like a good video But there were parts of it or a process of it or while I was shooting it or thinking about it that it seemed really funny Sometimes you just have to see things through until the end to realize like hey, this isn't my favorite Okay, I would also like to note that this might be one of the earliest videos that I was using an actual camera I still like this video I think it's silly and goofy and like what the internet's supposed to be but I mean that's just me I do remember just having a hard time after I posted that because people were so mad at me It sucks to think like okay Maybe I uploaded something that people didn't really like but like it felt like people Hated me personally and that's like a lot of what making YouTube videos consists of is like people don't just not like it They hate you personally. It's very scary and nerve-wracking to put yourself out there After I uploaded land shark was unfortunately one of those days drunk makeup tutorial if you haven't noticed I don't really make that many drunk videos anymore because everyone's just thinking them some alcoholic or like every Suggestion that someone was giving me was like get drunk be drunk That even bet you gotta get your eyebrows on this is the time when you can afford to take a break Just be like, you know what? I don't wear my eyebrows I totally get it like why it was funny and why people like didn't ask for me to do other things drunk But I've definitely beaten that horse This beat, you know, I'll still probably do them on occasion But it has been a conscious effort to not just make a bunch of drunk videos man I think I'm gonna end our trip down memory lane there I certainly feel like I've changed a lot as a person in terms of what I upload onto the internet You know, there's times where I look back and I'm super embarrassed or when people think that they might know who I am now Based off of things that I did, you know, even two years ago or less than that And it's just not a whole representation of me as a person. It's just been nice to grow and learn and It's mostly due to constructive Crisis and feedback that you guys give me and you know when I do things or say things that I shouldn't do There's always been people there to be like, hey, this is goofy and I get that you did this with the best of intentions But like you're obnoxious Can't help but feel a little bit sentimental about all of it six years on this channel and Almost ten years on YouTube as a whole It's been a big learning experience a big growing experience And I just feel so lucky and grateful and thankful that I get to continue doing it And then anybody still cares or you know listens to anything that I have to say. I just wake up every day I'm surprised. I want you to know how much it means to me how much I care about what you think and that I do try to do right and Make things that are funny and entertaining but never at the expense of people and you know I've said lots of things that probably shouldn't have said or made lots of things I probably shouldn't have made and there are many people that just decided that that was enough and that I was never worth Watching or listening to again, but for those of you that have been here with me and have grown with me It just it means everything to me And I just really appreciate it more than I could ever possibly tell you when I started out It was sort of just for fun and you know it slowly turned into something that I did for a living and changed my life and I get to just laugh for a living and Hope you can tell that I have tried to grow up. I tried to learn and I've tried to Do right by other people. I'm grateful for anyone that subscribed yesterday And I am especially grateful to those of you that have been with me Since I lived in Boston and have watched me become an actual adult and not a adult in training Thank you so so so so much for Just being kind to me and caring and Giving me a chance to learn from my mistakes and I will try to continue to grow and Learn and do things the best that I can in the future. I want to live on the internet I'm not in this to try to do anything else beyond the internet for as long as I can and I genuinely mean that and I always have I just think that this is the most fun most cool most amazing thing That I could have ever asked for and I just appreciate you know when I meet people in person and People are so nice to me I I can't explain to you how that feels people are just have been really wonderful to me and I'm just I'm really grateful if anybody watched all the way to the end of this video I don't know why I just want to tell you how grateful I am for your support and kindness For however long you've been here Um, it just means the world to me and I you know Sorry It's a lot There's no good way to end this video other than Thank you, and I will see you next week