 Rabbi Zellig Pliskin has a wonderful little book called Thank You, on the topic of gratitude where he describes an encounter that he had with an elderly man, actually a fairly old man who radiated joy and compassion, who's an unusual person to meet. And this old man said to Rabbi Pliskin that I used to live in a very dark world. I didn't realize how needlessly dark it was until I transformed what I saw and realized that I had been living in a world of light the entire time. Now that's certainly intrigued Rabbi Pliskin and he asked the man what led him to this realization. And the man said, I was a very negative person and always focused on what was wrong with everything. There were always things missing from what I wanted. I always blamed others, nothing was ever perfect enough. The thoughts going through my mind were constantly negative and full of complaints. I felt emotionally distressed most of the time. I felt that I was this way because of my personality or because of the way I was raised or because things were never quite perfect. But the one place that I didn't look for a sense of well-being and happiness was in my own mind. Even one day I was in a very serious car accident. I was told I might not live. That hurt me more than the physical pain itself. I thought about my entire life. The thought that was the strongest was that I had wasted much of the blessing in my life with my own sense of ingratitude. I was ungrateful to the creator and ungrateful to the people who did the most for me. I made a commitment that if I would live, I would become a master of gratitude. I would appreciate all that the Almighty keeps giving me. I would appreciate His world. I would appreciate everything and anything that anyone has done for me already and would do for me in the future. When I came to this realization, I felt lighter. I felt better than I had felt in a very long time, even though I was in a tremendous amount of physical pain. And I didn't know what would happen still. I wasn't quite sure if I would recover. I told myself that I wasn't going to make the mistake that I had been making my entire life. I wasn't going to say that I'll be grateful only if I recover and all is perfect. I wholeheartedly resolved to be a totally grateful person from that moment on. The recovery period was long, but I felt grateful for every step of improvement. I needed the kindness of others and was grateful for all that everyone did for me. My entire life was filled with gratitude. People told me they enjoyed being around me now. My joyful attitude made them feel good. They were happy to do things for me, and they gained by being in my presence. I am grateful to the Almighty for his wake-up call. I am grateful for the flow of spiritual and emotional abundance in my life. I suppose that's all that needs to be said. Thank you and have a good night. Seriously, there is a tremendous amount of truth to what Tony Robbins once expressed. Trade your expectations for appreciation, and your world changes instantly. Trade your expectation for appreciation, and your world changes instantly. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a one-stop shopping for almost all areas of our life. Research has repeatedly confirmed that those with high levels of gratitude score very high on measures of happiness. The more we focus on the blessings that we have and appreciating them, the more we'll become aware that we have more blessings than we were even aware of in the first place. It's like turning on a light in a partially lit room. You'll begin to see more. Gratitude, of course, builds stronger relationships rather than suspecting that people are doing things for ulterior reasons. You'll appreciate others and think highly of them. We won't take others for granted when we have an attitude of gratitude, and that taking others for granted usually builds resentments, and will be led to reciprocate the kindness that others do for us. Studies have also revealed that gratitude has a positive effect on physical health and immunity against disease. Research has shown that developing gratitude leads to better sleep. Remembering the many things we have to be thankful for helps us survive painful experiences like bereavement or the loss of a job. Of course, the greatest significance of gratitude is spiritual. Judaism teaches that the ultimate purpose of our existence is to develop and forge a relationship with God. While our time in this world is limited, our souls are not physical, and they are spiritual and will continue to exist after our bodies are returned to the earth. Our sages teach that the ultimate and essential purpose of this life, the 67, the 80, 90 years that we spend down here, is to know God by walking in His ways and growing in closeness to Him. The key to fostering this kind of connection to God is through gratitude. In Hebrew, this is called hakarat hatov, literally to recognize the good. Even before you express gratitude, hakarat hatov says that we need to recognize that which is good in our lives. This idea is so central in Jewish thought that it is vividly imprinted into the first chapters of our Bible. We're all familiar with the first verse in Genesis. We've all heard it many times. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. It rolls off our tongues so smoothly. But as Rashi and our classical commentaries point out, the actual Hebrew is anything but smooth. The Hebrew is bereshit barah. And Rashi suggests that in the beginning might be better expressed with the word barishonah. Bereshit is probably not the most accurate way of saying in the beginning. If the Bible was saying in the beginning God created the heavens and earth, Rashi suggests it should have said barishonah. The midrash suggests that there are very interesting ways of looking at this unusual word that we have, bereshit. And the midrash suggests that you could read bereshit as bereshit for or on account of reshit. And suggests therefore that a ray, we could read this verse at the very beginning of the Bible, is bereshit barah Elohim Esa Shamiim Esa Arets. For the sake of reshit, God created the heavens and the earth. The question is what is reshit? And the midrash suggests a number of things that the Torah refers to as reshit. Which means either first or beginning. One of the suggestions is that bereshit is referring to the mitzvah, the commandment of Bikurim. Bikurim, which is referred to as reshit in Exodus chapter 23 verse 19. Bikurim are the first fruits that ripened of the seven special species of which the land of Israel is blessed. Wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives and dates. And the Bible commands that after they ripen we bring the first of these fruits to Jerusalem. And the midrash suggests something incredible. The midrash says it was bereshit on account of this reshit, on account of this commandment of Bikurim, of the first fruits. It's on account of this that the whole universe was created. We see in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 26 that these first fruits were to be brought to Jerusalem beginning on the holiday of Shavuot, which is the holiday commemorating our receiving of the Torah. And they are presented to the priest in the holy temple. Now this midrashic idea is very difficult to understand. Is it possible to believe that God created the entire universe for the commandment of Bikurim, of the first fruits? Bringing these first fruits to Jerusalem, what might this mean? There's another very unusual feature of the commandment of Bikurim, which is the incredible exuberance and celebration that accompanied the bringing of these first fruits to the temple. This was a very unusual commandment. The ceremonies that accompanied the bringing of the first fruits were far more elaborate and ecstatic than virtually any other commandment in the Torah. The mission explains how this was done. The mission explains that when a farmer saw that his fruits were beginning to ripen, they would tie a ribbon around the branch and say, let these be for Bikurim. Now the land of Israel was divided, we're told, into 24 districts. And each district was assigned a time when their farmers were to bring their Bikurim to the holy temple. On the evening before their assigned day, the farmers would assemble in the capital city of their district. They would spend the night there getting their fruits ready. And early the next morning, they would arise and shout, let us rise onward to Zion, to the house of our Lord. There was an ox with gold plating on its horns and bedecked with an olive wreath that led the procession. There were flute players accompanying the procession until they reached the outskirts of Jerusalem. The procession was both solemn and joyous. Messengers were sent to inform the residents of Jerusalem that the procession was about to enter the city. The baskets of fruit were then reassembled, adjusted, and decorated. Additional fruit was added to the baskets and the more wealthy individuals added gold and silver decorations. Then a delegation of high officials from the holy temple came out to welcome the Bikurim procession. As the parade passed through the city streets, shopkeepers and people would stand up to greet them and they would call out, brothers of such and such a district, arrive in peace. There was a whole to do surrounding this commandment of bringing the first fruits. When the parade reached the temple courtyard, the Levite choir would sing verses from the book of Psalms. Flutes played before them until they reached the temple mount. On certain occasions the king himself came out to greet them and carried a basket of Bikurim on his shoulder into the temple courtyard. When the individual finally presented his basket of first fruits to the priest, the Torah requires that he make the following declaration. And if you were paying attention at your Passover satyrs, this is the heart. This declaration forms the heart of our Passover satyr. The person bringing his first fruits would say, an Aramean sought to destroy my father. He descended to Egypt and sojourned there few in number and there he became a nation, great, strong, and numerous. The Egyptians mistreated us and afflicted us and placed hard work upon us. We cried out to the Lord, the God of our fathers, and the Lord heard our voice and looked upon our affliction, our labor and our oppression. And God brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm and with great awesomeness and with signs and with wonders. And he has brought us to this place and he has given us this land, the land that flows with milk and honey. And now behold, I have brought the first fruits of the land which you, oh Lord, have given me. How do we understand again the Midrash that claims that the creation of the universe was for the sake of this mitzvah? How do we understand that? Secondly, how do we understand the incredible pomp and elaborate ceremony and parades that accompany this commandment? No other commandment has such an elaborate celebration that accompanies it. And finally, why, when these Bikurim are finally brought to the priest, does the person review the history of our people going all the way back to Jacob, prior coming to the land of Israel? One of our greatest sages was the Holy Al-Shikh, a great mystic, a Kabbalist. And he suggests that God did not have to create the world. God had no absolute need to create the world. God needs nothing by definition. And there's nothing that God needs from us. Actually, as the Book of Chronicles says, anything that we could bring to God is His anyway. Hashem wants only one thing from us. And that is our hakaratatov, that we recognize that our bounty comes from Him to appreciate it and to express our thanks. The mitzvah of Bikurim expresses something fundamental to being a human being. And that is the obligation to recognize the good that we've received and to express our gratitude for it. Again, the entire reason that God created the world and that God created us is so that He could give of His goodness to us. That's why God created the world and created us, not to receive, to give. And God ultimately wants to give the ultimate to us, the ultimate to us. And this fruit that God seeks to give us is the ability for us to attach ourselves to Him and develop an intimate relationship with Him. But this gift is only meaningful if we appreciate it. So we see that gratitude is a concept that is essential to the entire purpose for the creation of the world. And the person doesn't only thank God for the fruits of His harvest. He takes note of the fact that things could have been otherwise. Things did not have to be the way they turned out. Our ancestor Jacob spent much of his life wandering and fleeing. His father-in-law, Lovan, the Aramean, sought to destroy him, to take him down. Our people then went to Egypt, where again we were enslaved and almost destroyed. Realizing that things could have been otherwise should make us all the more appreciative that God finally brought us to the land of Israel, a blessed land flowing with milk and honey. And now the person says, I'm bringing my first fruits to express my gratitude. Even if I feel that maybe my crop should have been bigger, even if looking around I see people that have bigger crops than me and maybe their baskets are decorated more than mine, I rejoice with what I have. Our sages taught that the wealthy person is the one that is happy with what they have. This demonstration of Bikurim is so critical, this demonstration of our gratitude when bringing to Bikurim, that we make a huge deal out of it. Bikurim is not only the purpose for which God created the world, it's also the essence of the Torah. Bikurim is the essence of the Torah itself. How do we see this? Because the holiday celebration of receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai, we call Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks, because it comes seven weeks after leaving Egypt. But in the Book of Numbers chapter 28 verse 26, this holiday is called Yom Ha Bikurim, the Day of Bikurim. So we see that the giving of the Torah is equated with the bringing of these Bikurim. Now there's another indication that our world is built on the principle of gratitude, and this is discussed in a wonderful little book that I highly recommend by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman and Rabbi Zachariah Wallerstein. The book is called Let There Be Rain. And they cite a verse in the first chapter of Genesis verse 11, Genesis chapter 1 verse 11, where God commanded the earth to bring forth trees and vegetation. However, a chapter later in Genesis chapter 2 verse 5, we're told that there was still no trees and no vegetation. Why? So the Torah tells us because the rain had not yet come, because there was no man yet to work the soil. So how do we understand this? In chapter 1, God says, like everything else that was created, let there be light, there was light. Let there be animals, there were animals. So on the third day, God says, let there be trees and vegetation, we would have assumed there was vegetation and trees. And yet in chapter 2 we're told, no, there was no vegetation and no trees. Why? Because the rain had not yet come and there was no man to work the soil. So how do we understand the seeming contradiction between these two chapters? Rashi explains the following. Rashi says that indeed trees and vegetation and the grass were created on the third day, as we see in chapter 1 verse 11 of Genesis. Yet they were only created in potentia and they remained below the earth's surface. This is what Rashi teaches. They couldn't come forth until the rains. And God was not going to send the rain until man would be there to appreciate the trees and the vegetation and pray for the rain. The spiritual principle here is very profound. What Rashi is ultimately teaching is that the creation of this world depends on hakarat hatov. The creation of this world and everything that we receive depends upon gratitude. Blessing exists only potentially, but it cannot be actualized until we pray, until we appreciate the blessings that are there and until we express our gratitude. God waited for Adam to express his gratitude before sending the rain. The truth is we are not entitled to anything. Things don't happen all by themselves. When we realize this that God doesn't owe me anything and that others don't owe me anything. That's not the way life works. Nothing is coming to us. Our relationships with others and with God will thrive and we can receive blessing if we pray, if we appreciate, if we express gratitude. Gratitude is the essential quality of what it means to be human. The essential quality of what it means to be a human being is our ability to express gratitude. Where do we see this? In Parashas Ha'azinu, towards the end of the five books of Moses, Deuteronomy chapter 32, we see God scolding the people of Israel and to a great extent he's scolding them for their lack of appreciation after leaving Egypt. We know what was going on. If you read the five books of Moses, we see lots of complaining going on. And ultimately the people of Israel did not go into the land of Israel. They had to wander for 40 years in the desert because of that lack of appreciation, because that lack of trust in God. They didn't fully appreciate all the things God had done for them. Had they fully appreciated what God had done for them in all the miracles he sent to take them out of Egypt and to split the sea for them and to provide the manna for them and the clouds of the pillar of fire and the cloud to lead them and the miraculous well of water, everything God had done for them. And didn't they realize that he'd be able to bring them into the land of Israel if he told them he was going to do that? And they freak out and they're all afraid. We're never going to be able to do it. They're too strong for us in Israel. They collapse as human beings. And in verse 6 of that chapter, God calls them an amnaval, a corrupt people. Nachmanides, the Ramban, explains that this word naval is related to the word nafal, which means to fall. And he says that by not being grateful, by being ingrates, we fell from our state of humanity. We basically lost what it means to be human. We fell from what it really means to be human. Gratitude is what makes us human beings. We normally assume that Adam was expelled from the Garden of Eden because he ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But according to one view in the Midrash, it was because of his lack of gratitude. When God confronted Adam in Genesis chapter 3 verse 11, did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat? What does Adam say in verse 12? The woman that you gave to be with me, she gave of the tree and I ate. He could have just said, why did I eat from the tree? Because the woman gave me the fruit. He says, the woman that you gave to be with me. As if he's blaming God. He's taking this incredible gift that God gave him, a helpmate, a soulmate. He doesn't appreciate the gift of God. He turns on God and blames God for what he did. He doesn't appreciate God or the woman that God gave him. And according to the Midrash, that's the reason he was expelled from the Garden, not for eating of the tree, for a lack of appreciation, a lack of gratitude. The rabbi say something startling in the tractate Brachot in the Talmud Brachot 7b. Rabbi Yohanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yohai, from the day that God created his world, no person came to thank God until Leia came and thanked him. The matriarch Leia. It's hard to understand that. No one thanked God before Leia. So many people probably were thankful to God. Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac. Can you imagine Isaac being taken off of that pyre before he was almost killed by his father? I would have said, shh, dodge the bullet there. Thank you. So many people were grateful. How does the Talmud say that no one expressed thanks until Leia came and thanked God? Where did she thank God? So when she has her first son named Ruvane, she says that she named this son Ruvane. We know that Leia didn't feel quite adequate because it was her sister Rachel that was really loved by Jacob. And so she gives birth to Ruvane. She names him Ruvane, which means that God has seen my humiliation. That's why she names her first son Ruvane. What a name for a son. God has seen my humiliation. Her second son is named Shimon from the word Shammatahir. Why does she name her second son Shimon? Because God has heard that I am unloved. It's so pathetic in some ways. It's so sad. He said, her name is her first two children. And then finally she named her third son Levi, Levi. Because she said, this time my husband will be attached to me. But the naming of her fourth son is different. The child's name is not associated with any specific reason or cause. It says, she conceived again and bore a son and declared, this time I will gratefully praise Hashem. And therefore she called his name Yehuda. Yehuda means to thank God. This is very hard to understand. The Midrash explains in Genesis Raba, Baratius Raba, with the following parable. The Midrash says that this can be compared to a priest, a Kohane, who was given a large amount of truma. Truma were basically the tithes that were collected for the priest. The priest did not have land to harvest. And the rest of the Jewish people had to give a percentage of their crops to the priests. And so there was someone who gave a large amount of this truma to a Kohane, but the priest did not thank him. He was then given a small amount of chulen. Chulen is unholy produce. That's not something that had to go to the priests or Levites. Chulen could be eaten by anyone. And someone gave a small amount of chulen to the priest and he thanked him profusely. So the first one said, I gave you a large amount and you didn't thank me. He gave you a small amount and you thanked him profusely. What's going on? So the priest said, you gave me what rightfully belonged to me, so I saw no reason to thank you. But he gave me from what belonged to him and I had no claim on it. So I thanked him. So Rashi explains that Leia understood through prophecy that Jacob would have 12 sons. Now she figured that there would be three sons to each of his four wives. Jacob has four wives. They're going to be 12 sons. You do the calculus. Three children for each. Three boys for each. So when she gave birth to a fourth son, she offered special praise and thanks because she felt now she received more than her portion and it was more than she deserved. Ultimately gratitude is the recognition that you've received something undeserved and there is a feeling of debt to repay to the giver. People rarely say thank you when they receive their paycheck. It's coming to them. I worked for it. But when you receive something that's undeserved that you really don't deserve, then you really feel a need to express gratitude. And the more you feel that what you've received is deserved or earned, the less likely that you're going to feel a need to show gratitude. We are called Jews, Yehudim, because we to a great extent are associated with the large tribe that survived. Our 10 northern tribes went lost. The two southern tribes that survived, the larger one was called the tribe of Yehuda, this fourth son that Leia named. And we as a people have that moniker. We are called Yehudim because we are people who thank God. That is who we are. That's the essence of what it means to be a Jew. We are people who praise God. That's the meaning of the term to be a Jew. The very first words that we utter when rising in the morning, very first words when we wake up in the morning. Our eyes open. We say, I gratefully thank you, O living and eternal king. I gratefully thank you, O living and eternal king, for you have returned my soul within me with compassion. Abundant is your faithfulness. Modeh ani, I am a thanker. I am a praiser. We're identifying who we are. And this meditation that we say upon rising in the morning is supposed to set the spiritual tone for the rest of the day. In her well-known song, Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, you probably remember the phrase, don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? And how sad it is that that's so often the case in our lives. That we often don't appreciate something until we are missing it, until we don't have it. I remember that when I was a student in Israel back in 1979 to 1980, I went to visit cousins of mine in Tel Aviv and I was sleeping over there with Shabbat. I didn't realize that they might turn the lights on and off on Shabbat and I was sleeping in their living room and all of a sudden I see all the lights go off and it's pitch black. Now I have never seen pitch black in my life because you know in Israel they cover the windows with these plastic covers so you can't see the sun, the stars, or the moon, street lights. Nothing comes in. There's no lights from the outside. The apartment is totally dark and I woke up thinking that I had gone blind. I was crying my eyes out. I tried grabbing my undershirt and putting it up to my face so I could see the white undershirt. I couldn't see my white undershirt and I was convinced that I lost my sight and I laid there in bed. I was very frightened. What am I going to do now? I'm in rabbinical school. I won't be able to finish. I have no idea what's going to be with my life and I remember lying there for at least a half hour, an hour maybe, just crying and becoming quite depressed and then I had this crazy idea that I'm going to try and run over to the window and open this trees, this plastic window covering. Now I ended up killing myself getting there because I probably tripped over half of their living room but I was desperate and I got to this plastic window covering and I remember pulling it open and I just caught a glimpse of the moon and I collapsed in a chair with such relief and I remember saying to myself over and over I will never ever ever take my eyes for granted again. I will never ever ever take them for granted again and maybe for a few days I have a little bit more gratitude for the fact that I have eyes and I can see but I confessed in front of you all it didn't last more than a few days. I quickly went back to taking them totally for granted didn't think about them where they come from the rabbis say that we should recite a hundred blessings each day to help us become more mindful and aware of the blessings that we have. Some of the morning blessings focus on the fact that I can walk, I can think, I can see and even for people that can't see they can thank God that others can see and can help them. The greatest thing in the world is gratitude. The most unfortunate thing in the world is ingratitude. There's a wonderful story that Sarah Jochevich Wrigler tells in the book Lights from Jerusalem about how she grew in this area of her life. One day she writes that a rat jumped out of the composter in her yard and she decided to give the composter away to someone living on a moshav but a few days later she said she found a partly gnawed apple on her kitchen floor and some suspicious droppings so they called an exterminator who said it was a rat and the exterminator set three traps but the traps didn't catch anything then they found a partly gnawed persimmon and they called the exterminator again and he reset the traps in new places her husband checked the next morning but again no rat so they decided to give it another day and the next morning their kitchen was flooded with an inch of water what had happened the rat had gnawed a hole in the plastic tubing of their water filter two feet away from the traps under their refrigerator this is some rat so they called the exterminator again and he was baffled he'd been catching rats for 27 years and his special chocolate-bated traps had never failed so he sprayed rat repellent where the rat was going to force it into the traps he wanted to head the rats off with these rat repellents and make it go towards the traps they waited again a few days but once again no rat was caught they then tried greasing the drain pipe where the rat was living so that it would slip off into the trap if it crawled onto the drain pipe two hours later they heard the trap spring shut when her husband came home he checked the trap but no rat it had apparently moved the trap setting it off before scampering off to another part of the house they left a persimmon out again to see if the rat was still around and the next morning they found it partially chewed they called the exterminator a fourth time and reluctantly asked him to bring poison instead of the traps they saw that the rat had found a home under the flechik counter the counter where they had their meat dishes and placed several packets of poison near its exit hole plus two traps near it then they put fast acting poison on a partially gnawed persimmon and placed it on the trap but the next morning they still did not catch the rat she figured this can't be a regular rat it's got to be a gilgul it's got to be a reincarnation of something who else could outsmart three adults including a professional exterminator for so long so finally they decided to go to rabbi shinberger who was a famous capitalist living nearby to ask what kind of tikkun rectification the rat needed the rat is a reincarnation of someone it obviously needs to correct something from a previous life so sarah riggler and her husband wanted to know what's the rectification this rat needs so he said to them the rat is not a gilgul it doesn't need a tikkun you do he ended up taking a book off the shelf a wonderful little ancient book called perekshira chapters of song it's a book that lists 85 different things that were created and it gives you the song that each of these things sings everything in the universe sings its own song and he took the perekshira and looked for the song of the rat what is the song that the rat sings the rat sings the last verse from psalm 150 call hanishama to hallel ya halleluya let every soul praise god praised is god what does this verse mean the verse means that we receive such an incredible wealth of blessings from god that we should make a feast of gratitude to him every day the rabbis in the midrash actually say you shouldn't read this verse as call hanishama to hallel ya let every soul praise god but i'll call nishima the nishima we should praise and thank god for every breath that we take every breath is a gift the rabbi said your tikkun is to stop complaining that's what you need to do stop complaining now sarah wriggler did not see herself as someone who clutches and complains a lot and she had a very very difficult time understanding what rabbi shinberg meant so that night she removed the poison and the traps just leaving the one poison laced persimmon behind but in the morning it was untouched she went to walk her nine-year-old to school but he slept and he moved at a snail's pace stalling and resisting when her husband came home after the morning prayers she was about to recount her frustrating time with her son but rabbi shinberg's words flashed through her mind and she realized that this was complaining so she turned her frown into a smile and gave her husband an enthusiastic good morning isn't it wonderful to be alive five minutes later she found the rat dead behind the refrigerator now sarah says about herself that she never saw herself as a complainer she just was reporting what's going on in her day she wanted to share with her husband what was going on with her son the difficulties with her kids difficulties finding a parking space difficulties with her appliances etc etc why why was she so inclined to report all these difficulties in her life she felt it's because a person's cleverness and resourcefulness stand out in relationship to the difficulties they face her ego wanted to be recognized as a heroic and clever person so she tended to emphasize the difficulties that she faced in life otherwise how would her husband her friends fully appreciate how wonderful she was unless they knew about all the calamities she had to deal with and so now instead of grumbling about how much laundry she had to fold she focuses on appreciating that they have clean clothing and instead of complaining about the broken kitchen phone she's grateful for the one that works in the bedroom we all need to practice gratitude Rabbi Zellick Plisken suggests making a list of 200 things for which you're grateful and he says if you find this difficult ask yourself if you've eaten 200 meals in your life i'm not someone who's inclined to ever look at obituaries but one year many years ago i happened to notice an obituary in one of the jewish newspapers i was reading on shabbat about a young man who passed away unfortunately at a very young age in his early 20s and during the shiva the family found in his bedroom dozens and dozens of gratitude journals that he was keeping from the time he was a teenager he was writing down every night every single day all the things that he was able to appreciate that he was able to realize that were gifts there's a wonderful little book called life is good 999 reasons why by Amy Hall this book is a wonderful exercise in paying attention and of cultivating an awareness of the small things that we so often take for granted one wonderful exercise to incorporate into our lives is when we say moda ani in the morning to pause and reflect on how grateful we are to be alive and even if you don't say this prayer pause and reflect every morning that you're grateful to be alive and what a gift it is to be here one amazing and wonderful thing to do at a shabbat table especially when there were children is to go around the table and have everyone share one thing two things i was with one family everyone has to share five things that they're grateful for that they experienced during the week but it's a wonderful exercise because it gets us to start paying attention it's important to try and keep a journal a gratitude journal what this young man taught us is that when we do that as an exercise it builds this muscle when we do this regularly of paying attention and appreciating what we have it's important to thank people in our lives when our wife and i were vacationing in victoria a number of years ago i was struck by the fact that everyone getting off the bus would thank the bus driver i don't remember seeing that here in toronto but i thought it was so wonderful that every single person there they would yell to the front of the bus if they were in the back or they would say it to the driver to his face getting off in the front thank you they would thank the bus driver and it's an incredibly wonderful practice to take on in our lives is to thank not just the bus driver and the person that's checking out our groceries in the store but to thank the people that are close to us in our lives the people that we often take for granted the practice might seem awkward or uncomfortable at first it might not seem natural to thank people all the time you might feel that you're going to sound like a weirdo maybe people are going to make fun of you they'll tease you but that's okay it's okay that it may not be natural it's okay that it may not be totally comfortable i mentioned in a lecture a few weeks ago at the bay crest terrorists that we were at a friend's house for shabbat and she pointed out to me that my posture was horrible he said you're slouching look at you look at an old man already and she said you're not standing straight you're not sitting upright and she gave me a whole moose or schmooze about the need to have a good posture i don't think that i've gotten a pluses yet but i've become much more aware of this and i catch myself once in a while slouching and the truth is that working on my posture is not natural now it's not something i do naturally it is a bit awkward but like anything else we work on after a while god willing it will become natural so i'm convinced that if each of us were to choose to work on this incredibly valuable trait of gratitude it may not be entirely natural in the beginning it may even seem awkward but i guarantee that we can all get good at it where it will become natural and something that will definitely bless our lives in so many ways