 So many of you know that I'm in love and I've actually officially began living with my girlfriend within the last week or at least by the time I'm filming this. And I share this because I've been exploring the idea of love and what it takes for a man to fall in love and to a woman to fall in love as well. And I want to dive deeper than the surface of most people and how they approach this. So I want to also share that I've been rewatching the show Love is Blind on Netflix. And while I am not a fan of reality TV, in fact, I think maybe watching these shows might set you up for some failure. If you buy into the scripted rhetoric of the show, what I find fascinating about it is human behavior and the dysfunction of human behavior. That's right, the dysfunction of human behavior. Because this way the Love is Blind is set up is I believe there's roughly 10 or 15 contestants, if you will. And they're locked in pods and they're men and women. A man is in one pod, a woman is another pod and there's a wall between them and they can't see each other. But they communicate with each other to get to know one another. And what happens during this experience, some of the contestants actually experience either lust or limerence. Now, I should say the reason why they might be experiencing lust is because limerence is happening and limerence is extreme infatuation. And because the dynamic is set to connect with someone on an emotional level beyond the physical level. What happens is I believe in these cases is people are falling in love with the idea of love or the idea of being in a relationship. That's right. And these are younger demographic people in their late 20s, early 30s. Now, some of them might go in with genuine intentions. I suspect most people are going in strictly for the vanity of being on television. And at the same time, and again, I'm not a proponent that you have to watch this. At the same time, what I'm witnessing is dysfunctionality of human behavior based on our standard mating practices. Because most humans believe if you have intense chemistry with one another that you'll actually have relationship with success. And yet what we have learned in the personal development, self-help and spiritual world is that extreme chemistry oftentimes might take off like a rocket and crash and burn as soon as it hits. It doesn't reach orbit, if you will, and be able to circle the relationship. So how do we circumvent this? How do we actually connect with people at a heart center level? How do we connect with people who are genuinely will fall in love and be committed to the idea of love? Well, first we need to recognize that relationship success isn't built on chemistry alone. And if you haven't seen my relationship iceberg chart, and thankfully one of you lovely folks out there created this for me. You can see how above the water line is attraction, and you can see chemistry is above the water line. What's below the water line is compatibility. And what I want to emphasize is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. That's right, the need to be with human beings who are emotionally mature enough to actually lean into a healthy, happy relationship. And so if you want to be experienced, genuine love with another human being that it requires being in emotionally healthy state to actually connect with another human being. And that means that both of you have to be in this emotionally healthy state to be able to reach this. And yet sadly, the vast majority of human beings are suffering on the inside in some way, shape or form of not feeling good enough, not feeling lovable, not feeling likable. Because again, the vast majority of people don't genuinely love on themselves. This is why, listen, folks, I'm going to pitch my book every single video. Here's a copy of it. The book is called What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. By the way, in the description below, you can see a link to all the books I recommend. Why am I recommending my book at this moment? Because listen, if you're in midlife, and I say midlife is after baby making years and before retirement, that's the age demographic I typically speak to as a coach and what my coaching client tell. The reality is, is if you're a baby boomer or a Gen Xer, the reality is it's going to be much harder to meet an eligible single human being who is actually capable of deeper love. The reason being is just because a person is in their 50s or 60s or even 40s, you might consider them mature by the standards that they might own a home and they might pay their bills on time and such. But do they have the emotional maturity? And unfortunately, most human beings have terrible relationship skills and terrible emotional maturity. You're not familiar with my emotional maturity chart. Again, what I'm about to state is not a fact, but I believe roughly 20% of the population has clinical issues when it comes to their relationship skills. And while I claim that 20% are healthy and that might be generous, the vast majority of human beings are dysfunctional. They have weak skills when it comes to when it comes to conflict resolution skills, for example, one of the fundamentals to find yourself in a relationship where you're fully committed and genuinely can love one another is your ability to resolve conflict. And listen, I know many of you might poo poo the idea of getting married a second, third time in your life and which I can understand why. And yet why I'm such a big proponent of partnership and actually either living with someone or getting married is because if you want to build the deep roots of trust and the deep roots of commitment, then you must be committed to the idea of commitment. That's right, committed to the idea of commitment. And yet, sadly, most human beings now in midlife are not committed to the idea of commitment. Why don't you think about that? Committed to the idea of commitment. Why am I repeating myself over and over again? Listen, ladies, you know me talk about the book Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, and I just want to share with you chapter one in this book. And this is an amazing book. These are two amazing human beings that have studied human behavior have probably 30, 40,000 hours of work in the study of human behavior. These are eight serious questions to be talking about. And chapter one is trust and commitment. See, if we're entering into the dating process today with little or no trust or commitment, it is hard to actually fall deeply in love with someone. Understanding the dynamics of commitment is fundamentally necessary to be able to actually love another person because trust and commitment. Listen, trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, does this person have my best interest at hand? Are they genuinely thinking about my best interest? And yet sadly, most human beings operate from the premise of, listen, men in particular want companionship, connection and sex. Companionship, connection and sex. But what's missing in the dating process is a level of commitment, a level of real, genuine committing to the idea of wanting to get to know someone. And I understand the challenges because these days we're meeting total strangers. That's right. We're meeting total strangers. And if we're meeting strangers, we don't feel safe with the other person. Ladies, tell me the truth. By the way, posted in the comment below, do you genuinely feel safe when you meet a man for the first time you know nothing about? And do you feel safe on the second or third meeting? You might feel the euphoria of chemistry and believe that you can actually trust this person. But look what happened to the women who thought they trusted the Tinder swindler because they fell victim. I don't want to say victim. They fell to the experience of lust and limerence. And they fell to the experience of love bombing. And because of that love bombing, they actually thought this person genuinely loved me. Folks, I read comment after comment after comment on my YouTube page. How many of you experienced men who come on strong and you, I'm sorry to say you buy into it believing it's true. How? Listen, let's think about love for a second. Love isn't about all the grand good things in a relationship. Love at the end of the day is when you're in relationship with someone and they're in the hospital because they have cancer. And they're going through chemotherapy and you or they are the person wiping the vomit off of your or their face. That is genuine love when you can be there for someone through the tougher times. And the only way you and he will experience love if you're actively in the dating marketplace today is to be genuinely committed to the idea of commitment. Genuine if you're if you're dating men that are seeking just casual relationships. If you're dating men who are ambivalent and don't know what they want, then actually they're hoping that they can fall in love through a fantasy way. They're they're operating from the premise of well, I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. And yet if you want a man to genuinely fall in love with you, he has to believe it before he sees it. And that means committed to the idea of commitment. And that's my message for you today. So what does that look like a man who's committed to the idea of commitment? Well, I know it's difficult for you to fair it out because many of you are poor in your ability to vet men for their seriousness. This is why, by the way, there's a link right here. Can you see that says Jonathan Asley dot com coaching. Okay, listen, one of my my expertise is to teach you what questions based on your personality, you ask a man to determine his ability to commit and more importantly, his emotional maturity. And when we I said earlier that 80% of the population is either dysfunctional or have clinical issues, you have to be better at this. Otherwise, what's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So I'm here to say to you, if you want to experience a man who will love you and you'll love him, this needs to happen and that is you both need to be committed to the idea of commitment. Because without commitment, you have a surface level relationship and with a surface level relationship, there's no deep roots of trust. And without trust without that ability to say, I genuinely care about this person's best interest as much as my own. You have a weak foundation of a relationship. Now look, I understand it's difficult out there. You have a completely, not just a dysfunctional demographic of human beings but human beings who have they're really the ground underneath them doesn't feel solid. The ground underneath them doesn't feel solid and what I mean to say is they've got a contentious ex spouse in their life. Maybe they have issues with their children. Maybe they have covert incest with their children, meaning they put their children up on a pedestal and the children are a far higher priority than someone that's entering their life as their life mate, potential life mate. Maybe they've got issues at work. Maybe they have health issues. Sadly, with an aging demographic of singles out there, we're going to have more health issues that makes it difficult for some people to lean into a relationship. I know many men that want companionship and connection but they don't even have their equipment doesn't work and so they enter in for a moment they pull away because they're afraid they can't satisfy their partner. And so there's a variety of things that need to happen to be able to commit to commitment and that is to have the ground underneath you to feel somewhat solid. And as we age and as our single demographic continues to age, it's going to be more difficult. Folks, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass. It is fucking hard to find a mate in midlife. Look, I started this broadcast with sharing my news of now living with my partner. In fact, this is our new digs. I'm videotaping this from the bedroom because I haven't created my studio yet upstairs. In addition, I will introduce her to the community. She's a little bit bashful right now. She's not ready to shoot videos and I'm not going to introduce her name. I know some of you are going, what's her name? What's her name? What's her name? Well, when she feels comfortable coming on the camera, I will introduce her name to you. Why I'm sharing this with you is, look it, it took me five years after my most significant relationship ended before I met this wonderful, fantastic human being. I kissed a lot of Fragets in the last five years. In fact, after my divorce, I kissed a lot of Fragets. One of the fundamentals that kept me going was a mantra. And that mantra was simply this. God universe spirit. I'm in a juicy, delicious, healthy relationship where we have amazing chemistry with one another. And our communication can go on for hours and hours at an end. And we resolve conflicts and differences with ease. And we share the same values and our lifestyles are compatible with one another. And we have already built the deep roots of trust. Folks, act as if you're already experiencing this. Act as if you're already experiencing this relationship. Sadly, many of the women I work with are bitter. They're jaded. They're hurt. They have disdain for the process. They have disdain for women out there. Which makes that, if that energy you put out of frustration, anger, disdain, judgment, jadedness, bitterness, then you're going to attract more of that in your life. This is why I recommend book after book after book. One of the books I don't have here, but there's a link below, is The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Why do I recommend this book? Because it's time to change the mindset within you. This is why, folks, I've been reading, okay. So coming back to the reality shows, we watched Married at First Sight. And I was fascinated with this show, partially because they were required to commit to the process of getting to know one another by meeting a stranger, getting married, and then living together for eight weeks. Well, folks, let's be real for a second. Until you actually live with someone, you don't know who they really are. What's fascinating, though, we've been together for a week. Look, I'm still a bachelor. I haven't gotten used to always putting the seat down on the toilet seat. I mean, sometimes I just forget because it's been a habit for so long and I do remember 80% of the time. She likes a much cleaner home than I do. I was a bachelor. I didn't mind dishes in the sink for a day or two. Actually, she said as a bachelorette, she was that way. But now I'm being more conscious and aware because my partner's best interests are in my best interests. So how do we get there? How do we? This is why I shared with you the show Married at First Sight is because I just started reading a book. It's called Marriage Ain't for Puncts by Dr. Calvin Robertson. He's a pastor. Why I'm fascinated with this book is because when our mindset is set on commitment, again, committed to the idea of commitment, committed to the idea of partnership, there is a greater chance of actually leaning into deeper love with another human being. And that's my invitation for all of you is if you really want to, what's the title of this? You'll fall in love and he will too when this happens, when two people are committed to commitment. They have a greater chance of success than the casual cavalier ambivalent way we're approaching the process. Listen, I've shared a lot of content today, a lot of principles. Many of you watch my channel. You might say this is a repeat for those who are new. I hope I'm integrating some thoughts, some ways of looking at things that allows you to see the bigger picture instead of the fantasy. And some of the rhetoric some of my contemporaries are blowing up your ass in the way of text this to a guy and this will magically make him fall in love with you. That's bullshit. If the guy is a dysfunctional human being, it doesn't matter if he's not committed to the idea of commitment. It doesn't matter. Trying to fix my back pillow. All right, listen, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Those who know my live streams know this is going to be the time for Q&A. So if you have a question for me, I'd like there's a little chat box there. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question thereafter or purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley. It's my son who passed away four years ago now. And in his honor, I've started a scholarship fund. So there's a little dollar sign at the chat box where you can donate or if you're watching the replay, you can purchase a Super Thanks. And again, those monies go to help defray the cost of personal development and also donate to two amazing causes that I'm a big proponent of. And that is the Hoffman process and insight seminars. So now let's take a look at the questions we have in the Q&A board and we're going to take questions for the next 10, 15 or 20 minutes. All right, and I'm sure many of you are going to comment that I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure some of you have noticed that I definitely thought it'd be nice to start my video, my first video for my new digs with my new partner looking kind of suave. So I hope you enjoy that. So let me know. Let me know if you like the suit. All right, let's see what questions we have here. All right, Lisa writes question. Why don't men get out in public more? It seems like a lot of them are not doing social activities. Well, I think since the pandemic, great question, by the way. And I think since the pandemic, we have seen a decline in the desire to go out in the real world. I think there's a fear going on right now for many people. I think also the convenience of being able to shop from home, whether it's Amazon, whether it's DoorDash or Grubhub here in the United States. I think we're seeing, listen, I became quite a bit of a hermit during the pandemic and I think that's bled over to today. I think many people are shifting out of that. I noticed my girlfriend and I were talking about singles cruises has actually increased quite a bit. I think that's a great place to maybe consider. Listen, there are plenty of single cruises where people go just to have a good time. And who knows, you might meet someone special along the way. Certainly other venues, personal development workshops, a lot is opening up. So I think your question, and by the way, I think women are just as, I'll tell you the clientele I work with, they are, you know, just as resident, what's the word I'm looking for? Reluctant or hesitant to do social activity. So I don't think it's a gender-based thing. I think it's a human-based thing. So Lisa, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Thank you. All right. Let's see what else we've got out here. If you have a question, post the word question or purchase a super stick or super chat. Dan says, you look very suave. I prefer your casual t-shirts better look. Okay. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Lisa does write. You're right, Jonathan, but when I shop at home, I get the wrong thing or it's broken when it gets to me. I experienced that as well. Let's see. Mel says, cruises require MK. Oh, I think you mean money. Yes. I mean, I think you have to invest in yourself. But the benefit is you get to travel and see part of the world. So I think it's a win-win. Again, if you have a question for me, write the word question and post the question there after or purchase a super stick or super chat. Let's see what else we've got going here today. Let's see. I don't see any questions in the board. Come on. Lisa does say untethered soul is a wonderful book. Thank you so much. I totally agree. All right. Thank you for your questions. Lisa does say cruises are a load of fun. By the way, my girl, oops, wrong one. She says, cruises are a load of fun. Let's see. Lisa says, you look very Carrie Grant-ish. Well, thank you so much. He is one of my idols. He was the quintessential, you know, elegant man I felt. So thank you so much. I appreciate that. You know, it's interesting. My girlfriend mentioned, shared with me after her most significant relationship ended five years ago. And she was married prior to that. She actually spent a, she went on a journey of investing in herself. She went to a couple of workshops, but one of the things she did to invest in herself was to travel the world. And granted, I recognize she's in a fortunate situation to make that happen. But during that journey, much like the eat, pray, love journey, she was able to get to know who she was on the inside and recognize that she wasn't dependent upon men for her happiness. And repeat that. She wasn't dependent upon a man for her happiness. So I just want to say invest in yourself, whatever that is, come back to loving on yourself, just like what my book talks about. All right. So let's see. We've got another question here. Lisette says, what made your girlfriend a keeper? You know, that's an interesting question. So I think a couple of things had to happen before I was ready to see her worth. One of the things is I was, I had to be in the state of readiness. And let me just say this, my most significant relationship before I met my beloved was five years ago. And for a good year after that, I was still entangled in the emotional effects of this six year on and off again relationship. And thankfully she met someone very early on that allowed me to detach from it. While she and I remain close to one another in the sense that we're family to one another. And my girlfriend has met her and we're actually going to my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are going to my ex-girlfriend's house for a couple of weeks in a few weeks. Or an event. It's because she and I develop, we consciously uncoupled and then we, the love between us was not of a romantic nature. It was actually more of a familiar or family nature. So why I'm sharing this with you is first, I'd say that first year after her and I broke up, I was, you know, very much still attached to her. That many men can be rather attached to their most significant relationship. This is why I highly recommend vetting men to determine are they still, they still actively pining over another relationship. So number one, I think it took me about a year to heal from that. What happened during that year also was I lost my mother to cancer. And then six months later, I lost my son to an accident. That emotionally devastated me. I was in a state of not being ready for a serious relationship. And in the year after that, I didn't feel like working. So my business was down. So the ground underneath me didn't feel solid. And so for four of the last five years, I wasn't in a state of readiness when she and I met online and we developed a friendship. I think what was happening during that next year that we developed a friendship before we physically met, was we approached it from a non-romantic perspective. We were just, because she lived in another state, we were 1700 miles away. I didn't take it seriously. She didn't take it seriously. What I mean to say is we didn't seriously approach a relationship with one another. And at the same time, we developed a friendship with one another speaking occasionally over the phone. And we had some unique, we had some uncomfortable conversations along the way. But what happened when I met her though, it wasn't love at first sight. It was probably lust or limerence at first sight. But what I found was unique about her was right off the bat. She wasn't attached to an outcome. She wasn't attached. She wasn't overly attached to me. And she was not attached to the outcome. She was rather chill. In fact, I jokingly say she acted like a guy. Okay. She acted like a guy. I still say that to her sometimes. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you get anxious or overly attached. It's number one. Number two, she is incredibly chill. She's chill. I mean, you know, she's so easy going and rather agreeable, you know, if I, you know, a lot of the women I dated, it was like pulling teeth. It was like, Oh my God, I couldn't make you happy. You know, it was like, it was like, if I said black, you'd say white. I'm not agreeable to be with. The other thing is we just kind of aligned in our values. We're aligned in our mindset. And what was interesting or what's interesting since this time, I find how we literally, we, we literally are thinking the same thing at the same time. We're watching these stupid reality shows. And it's funny how I make a comment and she goes, I was just going to say the same thing to you. So a lot of pieces had to fall into place for me to appreciate who she is. And I think most importantly, I fell in love with her, her weirdness. I've shot a video on this before, but I will tell you she is in my mind. She's a little bit unique. She's certainly different than most women I've ever met. And she's a little bit weird. And what I appreciate most is her uniqueness. And she's unafraid. She's unabashed. And I respect her for that because A, she was never attached to the outcome with me. And she was never overly attached to me. Probably I, I probably love her just 1% more than she loves me. That makes me keep me in because a lot of women give their power away to men. I sadly see women over and over again, give their power away to men believing that if you just overly accommodate a man, he will naturally love you. And then you make your life dependent upon a man. And it's no wonder you're experiencing rejection over and over again. I highly recommend reading two books, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. By the way, Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Why I recommend these books is you are oftentimes attached to the wrong guy for all the wrong reasons. And when you learn why this happens, you can understand that it's not genuine love you're experiencing. What you're experiencing is an attachment to the idea of what you think this person might end up being if magic fairy dust changed everything. So why am I in love with this person? Because you know what? She's just a cool, chill chick. And I dig that for her. All right, I hope that answers your question. Thank you so much for that question. I truly appreciate it. All right. Let's see what else we have here. If you have a question, post the word question. Oh, bear with me, everyone. Let's go swim in. What made her a keeper? I already shared that. Mel says, what's your opinion about counseling, Jonathan? So I'm a big proponent of human beings going to do some personal development, self-help, spiritual work, even therapy. And I say even therapy. I mean, including therapy, I should say. I'm definitely a favor of couples doing counseling. You know, last night, actually a dear couple, this couple who are friends of mine who are incredibly wise, called my girlfriend and I. And they're a perfect counselor should we have a problem in our relationship. They're perfect people to help kind of unpack the challenges in our relationship that may arise. Now, one of the things my girlfriend and I do on a regular basis, we call it camping. I'll be candid with you. Sometimes we use plant-based medicine to allow our ego to shed, which genuinely allows our heart to be more present, more open because the medicine actually takes away all the noise that can go on in our head. And we do a half day, or I mean, actually it's almost a full day of just unpacking stuff in our lives and ourselves to connect at a heart-centered level. So we're beginning with a counseling practice very early on in our relationship because I want to build the strongest foundation for our relationship. And we started our relationship with camping literally by our fifth, sixth time we saw each other. We began a foundation of what I call camping. And we create a nice nest in the house with candles and such. And that opportunity really connected a heart-centered level. Folks, if you're not familiar with the book Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters, again, there's a link below in Jonathan recommend books. I highly recommend you understand the mechanics of true emotional intimacy because, listen, 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Why? Because they feel a complete lack of emotional intimacy. And yet many of you are clueless to how to create emotional intimacy. And then you wonder, and you're pointing the finger at your husband or the guy, when you actually are the creators of your life, you are in charge of your relationship destiny. You have the capacity to shift the emotional narrative. But Jonathan, I'm just supposed to sit back in my feminine energy and let a man claim me. Listen, you can be in your feminine energy all day long when 80% of the male population is either got clinical issues or dysfunctional and there's a high probability you're in that category as well because it's 80% of human beings. Then guess what? Sitting in your feminine energy, hoping that Prince Charming will claim you is cuckoo thinking because you can't sit in your feminine and expect something to happen. You actually have to create action to shift the narrative by, listen, ladies, it's time to initiate deeper conversations than the surface conversations many of you are experiencing. Many of you know I read this meme on a regular basis, but I want to read it again today because this is the foundation I built my relationship on. Let me put that right here. I hate small talk. I want to talk about Adam's death, alien sex, magic intellect, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you told, your flaws, your favorite scent, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't want to know what's up. Do you know the vast majority of people today are communicating in their vices romantically? How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. The surface level rhetoric isn't going to go deeper and create the roots of trust with one another. And folks, men are clueless because they're winging it. You just need one thing from a man. Is he committed to the idea of commitment? Then you're in charge of everything else. And guess what? If he genuinely likes you, he'll be a puppy dog following you around. I'm a puppy dog. I follow her around because I genuinely like her. Now I happen to be more of the emotional leader relationship because I'm the one who studies this shit. But guess what? When a guy likes you, he'll lean in. You don't have to lean back in your feminine when you lean into your empowerment, your sovereignty, your self-worth, your self-esteem, you'll actually create that magnetic attraction. Folks, I'm here to wake you up. I say this over and over again. Personal development, self-help, and spiritual work is the antidote to emotional chaos. And dating triggers are lack of self-worth, self-esteem are not good enough. Like no other, I'm going to say trigger, like no other trigger that ever exists. So when you're prepared with your vaccination, you won't fall to the experience of choosing the wrong person or get sucked in. You'll actually be, you'll be that what I love about the book is why men love bitches. Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. If you want to be that person that is in their empowerment, then do the work ahead of time. And then you'll become a magnetic attractor for what you want. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. If you find value in this, please like this video. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. And again, check out the link if you want to learn to vet for emotional maturity. All right, let's see what other questions we have. Brenda says, question. I'm a widower for two years. I have men asking me out. I'm interested in acts cold and hot, mainly cold. I really don't know what to do about this. Brenda, why do you like a man who acts hot and cold? What's the attraction to being attracted to cold? That's my invitation for you. Why do you like this guy? Is it possible you might be experiencing love attachment? Is that possible? What's happening? Because there's, I'm going to tell you something. If I date a woman who acts hot and cold, guess what? Next. Ariana Grande song. Thank you next. Okay. I wouldn't invest in someone who isn't investing in you. That's my invitation for you. Mel says, I'm sorry for your loss, Jonathan. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Sunshine one says, question. Can you be friends with a guy that broke up with you to supposedly work on himself? Or should you just walk away? He seems like a genuine nice guy, just a few months later. Listen, I think it's rare that two people can be genuine friends for the, one of the reasons is, is how deep of a friendship do you want with somebody because you want a life partner who's your best friend? And will this person be a deep friend in your life if you have a new partner in your life? Number one. Number two, you can only be friends if you eliminate emotional communication. That's right. Emotional communication. If you are communicating on an emotional level, then what can happen is you do this. You get hooked by the emotions and you are blocking yourself energetically to attracting any other mate in your life. So you're putting yourself in harm's way. I'm saying harm's way. By remaining friends on an emotional level with somebody, oops, on an emotional level with somebody who is a former partner. So I just, you can have a social relationship with someone, but I wouldn't have a relationship where you talked about deep emotional. By the way, does anyone get this? Does anyone figure out the danger of having emotional conversations? You can end up having emotional sex with one another and be hooked for a longer, longer period of time. When my girlfriend and I, my previous relationship ended, we just talked on a social level for about a year or two. Actually, we now, we don't ever really talk on an overly emotional level. We just talk about social things and our social circle of friends. Save the emotional conversation for those people that you didn't fuck before. Excuse my French, I'm sorry I offended a bunch of people. All right, that's my invitation for you. Thank you so much. Janice says, would it be nice to vent, vent, vent to a man when trying to develop a friendship or commit with him? You know, I think venting has some benefits, but it depends. If you're venting about men, if you're venting about your problems, I mean, I guess you have to decide on what it is you're venting about. I can see a number of different venting scenarios that actually makes you look like a victim. Venting can oftentimes be complaining and complaining is victim consciousness and victim consciousness is the biggest turnoff. Are you turned on by a guy who complains, complains, complains? Venting usually requires the desire for assistance. So when you vent to someone say, look, I need to vent something and I'd like to get your opinion about it, then it's healthy communication between two people. But if you're just venting to complain, you are setting yourself up for failure. That's my invitation for you. All right, let's see what else we have. Lisa writes, question, as someone with a few health issues, I feel a bit like damaged goods. How can I overcome that? Well, first off, let me send you a big, gigantic Jonathan Barahud Lisa. You know, I think it's important to recognize that if you have health issues and you're seeking a relationship to be aware of how that might affect another person to be in this dynamic. And I don't know what the health issues you have, but I'd be aware, how would this affect a relationship with someone? Let's say, for example, you had AIDS. That might be a scary thing for another person to take on. Maybe you have herpes. You know what? Herpes isn't that big of a deal. Most men could give a shit about herpes, believe me. I'd say nine out of 10 men don't have a problem with it. And about a third of the population has it. So it's not that uncommon. What about physical ailments? If it affects your ability to be in a relationship, then I think what you have to first recognize is accept it within yourself. And if it is problematic within a relationship, then ask yourself, who's the type of person who would accept my physical limitations? I know women in wheelchairs who have met amazing men. I mean, I'm serious about this. I was watching a video the other day. My girlfriend showed it to me. A woman without arms, you know, and she's married and has a child and she has no arms. So it's quite possible, but I think you have to be in a position where you accept your limitations and recognize how that would affect someone else and prepare them for those limitations. That's just my invitation for you. Lisa, big gigantic hugs to you. Thanks so much for that question. All right. Candy says, the suit is perfect. The way you are wearing it is perfect to look and that is very nice looking. I'm curious, did your girlfriend help you decide what to wear? Or was that just you? Actually, I was watching a video of a dear friend of mine. He's a dating coach for men. And I saw him literally in a very similar suit. I go, I own that suit and a very similar shirt. And I go, wow, he looks sharp. And then when I showed it to my girlfriend, she goes, yeah, that looks sharp. So it was probably seeing his video and then showing it to my girlfriend caused me to decide to have a little bit sharper look for you all tonight. And I might continue with that look. I kind of like this more polished look than my more casual look than from the past. So thank you so much. Everyone, what do you think of my suit? And how do I look? Let me know. All right. Amanda says question going through my second divorce. How do I get to a place of readiness and obviously in a better place of self love to attract the right person? I would start reading the books I recommend. I'd start going to personal development workshops. I would start doing yoga. I would start meditating. I would read the book, The Untethered Soul. Again, there's a link below the Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I would read the book, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. These are amazing tools. It requires effort. It requires effort. It requires at least an hour a day of investing in yourself and self care isn't manicures and pedicures. Well, that's self care. Self love is nurturing your soul. Like I said before, a vaccination to emotional chaos. And that's my invitation for you all, is to invest in yourself. So do that for a year or two and you might find yourself in a great position to be ready for an amazing partner in your life. So Miranda, thank you so much. I don't even know how to pronounce your name, Mr. or Mrs. Moon. So question, how do I, oh, I guess I'm not sure. How do I talk to my boyfriend without him shutting down? He avoids serious conversation. It makes me even more anxious trying to talk to him. You know, I just say, look, if you can't have a serious conversation, I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I didn't sign up for a surface level conversation. If you don't have the fucking balls to have a real serious, and by the way, I'm intentionally being intense here for a moment. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I didn't sign up for a surface level conversation. If you don't have the fucking balls Listen, one of my favorite lines in a movie from a movie, one of my favorite lines from the movie Shawshank Redemption is get busy living or get busy dying. Listen, living is about squeezing the juice out of life. It's about biting into an orange and let it all melt, you know, spread across your face and just savoring it, which requires going deeper than the surface. These relationships that are so fucking mediocre, not only disappoint me, they bore me. So if you can't, if you're with somebody who can't go deeper, then say, hey, look, I think you're a great guy. I wish you all the best. You aren't on the same path that I am at. And I'm going to move on to someone who has a capacity to actually lean into grown up conversations. But if you're afraid, thank you next. Because there's no magic fairy dust to change someone unless they're committed to the process of commitment. What is the story in this video? It's about choosing people who are committed to the process of commitment. And I know so many amazing men who are in that capacity to go there. But you're spending time with all these fucking losers that are called spenders. If you haven't seen this chart, please forgive the... I don't have a new chart up, but look at this. There are three types of people actively dating. They're the users, the spenders, and the growers, and the builders. And while this is not a fact, merely an opinion, I believe 20% of the population uses other people. And while growers are the people that can grow into a relationship, most people are spenders. These are people that seek companionship, connection, and sex with no direction, uncertainty, fearful, usually have a dysfunctional life. Folks, why are you spending time with spenders? You should be investing time in the people who can actually lean into a real relationship. Get busy living or get busy dying. Thank you, Ms. Moon. I appreciate it. Michelle writes, Jonathan, I asked a man on a date. Have you got any advice on what sort of things to ask him to determine whether or not he's a right man for me? By the way, there's a link below right here. It says, Jonathan Asley coaching. What I teach you in my private coaching is the questions you ask based on your personality. You go through my propriet... Listen, women all come to me for coaching. Jonathan, I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want. Then they go through my six-week boot camp, my proprietary coaching program. And do you know what they say every single time? They say things like, why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this? Why didn't I learn this before I married or dated the wrong guy? And women who invest in my program, I get calls each week. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. And they know the difference because they have learned, A, how to choose the compatible person for them. B, how to vet for emotional maturity and how to vet for compatibility. And what my program does is integrate your intuition so you can eliminate people just purely sometimes by what they said on the phone first conversation. I can't give you those answers. You're going to have to invest in yourself. And again, the women who invest in my program seem to be meeting great guys very quickly. So, Michelle, thank you so much for your question. Let's see. Sherry writes, Question, if a partner suddenly drops out of a successful three-month relationship, what's the difference between being empowered and chasing him if I want to reconcile? Well, being empowered is making the overture to reconcile once. That's being empowered. If he's not interested, being empowered is saying, bye-bye. If he doesn't have the balls to lean in, and you said you had a successful relationship. If a person, most likely, his life was in some sort of chaos and the ground underneath him wasn't solid. This is why he bailed on the relationship. You can't fix a person's foundation. They can only do it for themselves. So I suspect that's what was going on. And your empowerment is to say, I'm moving on. I wish you all the best. Sherry, thank you so much for that question. All right. Let's keep going. Are you finding value in this conversation? Is it making a difference in your life? Please let me know. Please say this is resonating with me. Just say, right here, Hollywood says it resonates. Definitely. I'm so happy to hear that. All right. Wow. We have lots of content here. I'm not able to get it to at all. Let's see. Lena says, if you send that to me, I can create and laminate that chart. This is right here, right there. Right there. Just put a screenshot of that. All right. Thank you. All right. What else we have? You know, folks, I've actually got to run to the dentist. So I think it would be a great place to wrap up today. I chipped a tooth while I was out to lunch with my girlfriend. Folks, I am deliriously happy. I am so grateful. There's a picture of her. And where is it? Right over there. I'm so grateful. I met an amazing person in my life. And I can tell you it took me five years to get here. It didn't happen overnight. A lot of personal development work for myself. Putting out the right energy on an energetic level. And most importantly, it was choosing someone who was committed to commitment. Folks, if you want a man to fall in love with you and fall in love with him committed to the idea of commitment. Allows the roots to develop for deeper love. Because the surface level love of chemistry is just surface. And lust and limerence isn't love. And I invite you all to experience that in your life. And I am so grateful that I met someone special. Hold on a second. I met someone special. And this was a picture of us on my birthday. So I can share with you. I'm very blessed. And I will she will be shooting videos with me hopefully soon. And I will introduce her name to everyone. When we've done that. All right. I think this will be a great place to wrap up this video. First off, if you have something to share, please post a comment below. Hit that like button. Please share this with your friends. Please subscribe to my channel. And I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic, Jonathan Barrow of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. If that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone. A pet, a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love. Because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank. I want to thank. Elena and Michelle and candy and Lisa and Tria and pantress. I can't pronounce these names. Miranda. Tara. Lexi. Mel. Claire. Cece. Miss moon. Elena. I already said that. Gloria folks. Thank you so much for allowing me to enter your life today. I wish you all the best and hope you find. An amazing partner in your life. The partner that you should be looking for is the partner within yourself first. Thanks a bunch. Be well. Bye now.