 The covert narcissist will control your mind. They will seek the power to control how you think and perceive things. They want complete dominance over your mind. They believe that by controlling your mind, they can then control your behaviors. They can then keep you around them as their source of supply. Covert narcissist have a really strong need to be in control. They need to influence and direct your behavior at the course of events. They lack empathy. They have no consideration for how their actions affect you because they're trying to exploit you. They're trying to make full use of and derive benefit from you and they will try to extract what they want from you any way that they can. They can be very manipulative. They can be very scheming and calculated. They have this alternate reality where everything has to be interpreted their way. Everything has to be done their way, which is all based on their distorted thoughts and perceptions. It's all based on trying to protect themselves because covert narcissists are very insecure, which is why they have such a strong need to be in control. They have to be superior. They think that by being the one in the dominant position, they can then protect themselves from danger or harm. They can then ensure that everything pans out in their favor. The covert narcissist doesn't always need to be the center of attention. They can be more relaxed and cheerful. They can blend in well. They can seem friendly. They can even seem nervous or shy. Until you notice something that is gradually developing where they are trying to create confusion within you because they want you to feel confused. They want you to doubt what you believe to be true. They want you to doubt your own memory, perception and sanity. It's their way of gaining superiority over you. It keeps you locked under their control. Covert narcissists are self-absorbed. They are very exploitative, but you may not realize this at first. When you first meet them, they can seem like they have a personality, but you soon discover that they lack depth. They can be very shallow and superficial. They have a lot of black and white thinking. They think they're superior to everyone, but they won't openly reveal this to people because they know that not everyone is going to agree with it. Not everyone is going to see them as being superior, and they are very sensitive to criticism and insults. So they don't want to put themselves in a position where they are at risk of being criticized. They are very unreliable. They are very untrustworthy. You cannot depend on them for anything. They will always let you down. Even if you agree with them on something, they will still go and do it their way because they just don't care about what is right for you. Everything has to revolve around them because they always think they're right. They always think their opinions and ideas are better. Although they may not reveal it to you, when you are around a covert narcissist, you will always feel like you've done something wrong. You will always feel like you've done something to hurt and offend them because they will always be upset with you and you will always feel like you need to do something to fix the situation because they're gaslighting you. They're sowing seeds of doubt within you to make you question your own memory, perception and judgement. They're trying to keep you guessing about yourself. Covert narcissists love to play the victim role. If you have your own thoughts, ideas or preferences and you disagree with a covert narcissist or you change your mind about something rather than trying to understand you, the covert narcissist will see it as though you're trying to hurt them as though you're trying to make their life difficult because it's all about them and if you're trying to live your life your own way in their mind you are doing something to them they will play the victim role to make you think there's something wrong with you. They want you to think that nothing you do is good enough. They want you to think that you're always a problem in every situation. Whenever you do something good for them they will always minimise their gratitude and appreciation. If you do go out of your way to do a favour for them they might say thanks but there's never any emotion to it. You never feel like they really appreciate anything you've done for them. They always have to minimise everything you do. They have to minimise their gratitude and appreciation. You never get the feeling that they really value anything you've done for them because they have a lack of empathy. They can't really share the experience with you or they don't want to give you the satisfaction they would rather stay disconnected from you because it always leaves you questioning yourself it always leaves you wondering if you did something wrong and that is how they gain control of your mind. They will complain that you never do anything together even though you may be constantly offering to do something with them and then they will turn you down on your offer only to then come back and complain that you never do anything with them. They will say that you spend too much time with yourself they will say that you're selfish even if you've offered to spend time with them because they want you to question yourself they want you to feel like you're doing something wrong they minimise your achievements and positive experiences whenever you try to share something with them they always act like it's not a big deal they will say that someone else has done something better or they will quickly change the subject because they don't want you to realise your worth they don't want you to realise how great you are no matter how great a situation may be they can always find something wrong with it it keeps you looking at yourself and questioning if maybe it wasn't that great and you always feel like you've offended them because that's exactly how they want you to feel the COVID narcissist is always trying to gain sympathy there isn't a day that goes by where there isn't something happening to them there's always something wrong they've always got something to complain about and they will always expect you to listen to them as they rant and rave about everything that's not right but when you listen to what they're saying you realise they're just normal things that everyone deals with and either if you try to offer your support or encouragement they will always leave you feeling like you don't understand because they don't want to resolve the situation they like having problems they like having something to complain about it gets them attention and it helps them to gain sympathy the COVID narcissist will not enter into your experiences they will avoid any of your situations that would naturally evoke an emotional reaction maybe something went wrong for you maybe someone died and the narcissist may acknowledge the situation but they won't follow it up with any questions they won't show any curiosity into how you feel about it they won't care about how it's affecting you or even if it's a positive experience they won't enter into it with you they will just relate it to something that happened to them they always minimise your experiences because they have a lack of empathy it always leaves you feeling like they don't care about you as though you're not significant which then keeps them feeling superior to you it keeps you under their control when you get involved with a COVID narcissist they will only ever try to control your mind they don't want to have a good relationship with you because they fear being vulnerable no narcissist is going to be able to be vulnerable with you they cannot connect to you they cannot talk about their issues they are fear based and shame based people but if they can gain control of your mind and keep you confused they can then project those emotions onto you and watch you going through it instead of dealing with it themselves there's no point questioning or confronting the narcissist they're just going to see it as another opportunity to gas like you they want you to doubt yourself but instead of trying to get them to validate who you are you need to recognize that you have a good character you have good intentions and then separate yourself from the narcissist when you are involved with a COVID narcissist you don't realize it until it's too late but once you realize what you're involved in you need to distance yourself you cannot save them they're always going to be this way but you can spend time with people who are emotionally healthy your life doesn't have to revolve around confusion thank you for watching I hope this video isn't with you please like, comment, share and subscribe if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching.nrcsurvivor.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon