 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Reading by Michele Crandall, Fremont, California, September 2006. THE AWAKENING by Kate Chopin. CHAPTERS 11-15 What are you doing out here, Edna? I thought I should find you in bed. Said her husband when he discovered her lying there. He had walked up with Madame Lebrun and left her at the house. His wife did not reply. Are you asleep? He asked, bending down close to look at her. No. Her eyes gleamed bright and intense with no sleepy shadows as they looked into his. Do you know what has passed one o'clock? Come on! And he mounted the steps and went into their room. Edna, called Mr. Pontellier from within, after a few moments had gone by. Don't wait for me, she answered. He thrust his head through the door. You will take cold out there, he said irritably. What folly is this? Why don't you come in? It isn't cold. I have my shawl. The mosquitoes will devour you. There are no mosquitoes. She heard him moving about the room, every sound indicating impatience and irritation. Another time she would have gone in at his request. She would, through habit, have yielded to his desire, not with any sense of submission or obedience to his compelling wishes, but unthinkingly, as we walk, move, sit, stand, go through the daily treadmill of the life which has been portioned out to us. Edna, dear, are you not coming in soon? He asked again, this time fondly, with a note of entreaty. No, I am going to stay out here. This is more than folly, he blurted out. I can't permit you to stay out there all night. You must come in the house instantly. With a writhing motion, she settled herself more securely in the hammock. She perceived that her will had blazed up, stubborn and resistant. She could not at that moment have done other than denied and resisted. She wondered if her husband had ever spoken to her like that before, and if she had submitted to his command. Of course she had. She remembered that she had. But she could not realize why, or how she should have yielded, feeling as she then did. Lance, go to bed, she said. I mean to stay out here. I don't wish to go in, and I don't intend to. Don't speak to me like that again. I shall not answer you. Mr. Pontellier had prepared for bed, but he slipped on an extra garment. He opened a bottle of wine, of which he kept a small, and select supply, in a buffet of his own. He drank a glass of the wine, and went out on the gallery, and offered a glass to his wife. She did not wish any. He drew up the rocker, hoisted his slippered feet on the rail, and proceeded to smoke a cigar. He smoked two cigars. Then he went inside, and drank another glass of wine. Mrs. Pontellier again declined to accept a glass when it was offered to her. Mr. Pontellier once more seated himself with elevated feet, and after a reasonable interval of time smoked some more cigars. Edna began to feel like one who awakens gradually out of a dream, a delicious, grotesque, impossible dream, to feel again the realities pressing into her soul. The physical need for sleep began to overtake her. The exuberance which had sustained and exalted her spirit left her helpless and yielding to the conditions which crowded her in. The stillest hour of the night had come, the hour before dawn, when the world seems to hold its breath. The moon hung low, and had turned from silver to copper in the sleeping sky. The old owl no longer hooded, and the water oaks had ceased to moan as they bent their heads. Edna arose, cramped, from lying so long and still in the hammock. She tottered up the steps, clutching feebly at the post before passing into the house. Are you coming in, Lyons? She asked, turning her face toward her husband. Yes, dear, he answered, with a glance following a misty puff of smoke, just as soon as I have finished my cigar. She slept but a few hours. They were troubled and feverish hours, disturbed with dreams that were intangible, that eluded her, leaving only an impression upon her half-awakened senses of something unattainable. She was up and dressed in the cool of the early morning. The air was invigorating and studied somewhat her faculties. However, she was not seeking refreshment or help from any source, either external or from within. She was blindly following whatever impulse moved her, as if she had placed herself in alien hands for direction, and freed her soul of responsibility. Most of the people at that early hour were still in bed and asleep. A few who intended to go over to the chinea for mass were moving about. The lovers, who had laid their plants the night before, were already strolling toward the wharf. The lady in black, with her Sunday prayerbook, velvet and gold clasp, and her Sunday silver beads, was following them at no great distance. Old Monsieur Farival was up, and was more than half inclined to do anything that suggested itself. He put on his big straw hat, and, taking his umbrella from the stand in the hall, followed the lady in black, never overtaking her. The little negro girl who worked Madame Lebrun's sewing-machine was sweeping the galleries with long, absent-minded strokes of the broom. Edna sent her up into the house to awaken Robert. Tell him I am going to the chinea. The boat is ready. Tell him to hurry. He had soon joined her. She had never sent for him before. She had never asked for him. She had never seemed to want him before. She did not appear conscious that she had done anything unusual in commanding his presence. He was apparently equally unconscious of anything extraordinary in the situation, but his face was suffused with a quiet glow when he met her. They went together back to the kitchen to drink coffee. There was no time to wait for any nicety of service. They stood outside the window, and the cook passed them their coffee and a roll, which they drank and ate from the window-sill. Edna said it tasted good. She had not thought of coffee, nor of anything. He told her he had often noticed that she lacked forethought. Wasn't it enough to think of going to the chinear and waking you up? She laughed. Do I have to think of everything, as Lyon says when he's in a bad humor? I don't blame him. He'd never be in a bad humor if it weren't for me. They took a shortcut across the sands. At a distance they could see the curious procession moving toward the wharf, the lovers shoulder to shoulder creeping, the lady in black gaining steadily upon them, old Monsieur Farival losing ground inch by inch, and a young barefooted Spanish girl with a red kerchief on her head, and a basket on her arm bringing up the rear. Robert knew the girl, and he talked to her a little in the boat. No one present understood what they said. Her name was Mariquita. She had a round, sly, picante face, and pretty black eyes. Her hands were small, and she kept them folded over the handle of her basket. Her feet were broad and coarse. She did not strive to hide them. Edna looked at her feet and noticed the sand and slime between her brown toes. Baudelet grumbled because Mariquita was there, taking up so much room. In reality he was annoyed at having old Monsieur Farival, who considered himself the better sailor of the two. But he would not quarrel with so old a man as Monsieur Farival, so he quarreled with Mariquita. The girl was deprecatory at one moment, appealing to Robert. She was saucy the next, moving her head up and down, making eyes at Robert and making mouths at Baudelet. The lovers were all alone. They saw nothing, they heard nothing. The lady in black was counting her beads for the third time. Old Monsieur Farival talked incessantly of what he knew about handling a boat, and of what Baudelet did not know on the same subject. Edna liked it all. She looked Mariquita up and down, from her ugly brown toes, to her pretty black eyes, and back again. Why, does she look at me like that? inquired the girl of Robert. Maybe she thinks you are pretty. Shall I ask her? No. Is she your sweetheart? She's a married lady, and has two children. Oh, well! Francisco ran away with Silvano's wife, who had four children. They took all his money, and one of the children, and stole his boat. Shut up! Does she understand? Oh, hush! Are those two married over there, leaning on each other? Of course not, laughed Robert. Of course not, echoed Mariquita, with a serious confirmatory bob of the head. The sun was high up and beginning to bite. The swift breeze seemed to Edna to bury the sting of it into the pores of her face and hands. Robert held his umbrella over her. As they went cutting sideways through the water, the sails bellied taut, with the wind filling and overflowing them. Old Monsieur Farival laughed sardonically at something as he looked at the sails, and Baudelaise swore at the old man under his breath. Sailing across the bay to the Chinea Caminada, Edna felt as if she were being borne away from some anchorage which had held her fast, whose chains had been loosening, had snapped the night before when the mystic spirit was abroad, leaving her free to drift with her so ever she chose to set her sails. Robert spoke to her incessantly. He no longer noticed Mariquita. The girl had shrimps in her bamboo basket. They were covered with Spanish moss. She beat the moss down impatiently, and muttered to herself sullenly. Let us go to Grandeur tomorrow, said Robert in a low voice. What shall we do there? Climb up the hill to the old fort, and look at the little wriggling gold snakes, and watch the lizards sun themselves. She gazed away toward Grandeur, and thought she would like to be alone there with Robert, in the sun, listening to the ocean's roar, and watching the slimy lizards writhe in and out among the ruins of the old fort. And the next day or the next we can sail to the bayou bruleau, he went on. What shall we do there? Anything. Cast bait for fish. No. We'll go back to Grandeur. Let the fish alone. We'll go wherever you like, he said. I'll have Tony come over and help me patch and trim my boat. We shall not need Baudelaire nor any one. Are you afraid of the pierogue? Oh, no. Then I'll take you some night in the pierogue when the moon shines. Maybe your gulf spirit will whisper to you in which of these islands the treasures are hidden. Direct you to the very spot, perhaps. And in a day we should be rich, she laughed. I'd give it all to you, the pirate gold, and every bit of treasure we could dig up. I think you would know how to spend it. Pirate gold isn't a thing to be hoarded or utilized. It is something to squander and throw to the four winds for the fun of seeing the golden specks fly. We'd share it, and scatter it together, he said, his face flushed. They all went together up to the quaint little gothic church of our Lady of Lourdes, gleaming all brown and yellow with paint in the sun's glare. Only Baudelaire remained behind, tinkering at his boat, and Mariquita walked away with her basket of shrimps, casting a look of childish ill-humour and reproach at Robert from the corner of her eye. A feeling of oppression and drowsiness overcame Edna during the service. Her head began to ache, and the lights on the altar swayed before her eyes. Another time she might have made an effort to regain her composure, but her one thought was to quit the stifling atmosphere of the church and reach the open air. She arose, climbing over Robert's feet with a muttered apology. Old Monsieur Vall, flurried, curious, stood up, but upon seeing that Robert had followed Mrs. Pontellier he sank back into his seat. He whispered an anxious inquiry of the Lady in Black, who did not notice him or reply, but kept her eyes fastened upon the pages of her velvet prayer-book. I felt Gideon almost overcome, Edna said, lifting her hands instinctively to her head, and pushing her straw hat up from her forehead. I couldn't have stayed through the service. They were outside in the shadow of the church. Robert was full of solicitude. It was folly to have thought of going in the first place, let alone staying. Come over to Madame Antoine's. You can rest there. He took her arm and led her away, looking anxiously and continuously down into her face. How still it was, with only the voice of the sea whispering through the reeds that grew in the saltwater pools? The long line of little gray, weather-beaten houses nestled peacefully among the orange trees. It must always have been God's day on that low, drowsy island Edna thought. They stopped, leaning over a jagged fence made of sea-drift, to ask for water. A youth, a mild-faced Acadian, was drawing water from the cistern, which was nothing more than a rusty buoy, with an opening on one side sunk in the ground. The water which the youth handed to them, in a tin pail, was not cold to taste, but it was cool to her heated face, and it greatly revived and refreshed her. Madame Antoine's cot was at the far end of the village. She welcomed them with all the native hospitality, as she would have opened her door to let the sunlight in. She was fat, and walked heavily and clumsily across the floor. She could speak no English, but when Robert made her understand that the lady who accompanied him was ill and desired to rest, she was all eagerness to make Edna feel at home and to dispose of her comfortably. The whole place was immaculately clean, and the big four-posted bed, snow-white, invited one to repose. It stood in a small side room which looked out across a narrow, grass-plot toward the shed, where there was a disabled boat lying keel upward. Madame Antoine had not gone to mass. Her son Tony had, but she supposed he would soon be back, and she invited Robert to be seated and wait for him. But he went and sat outside the door and smoked. Madame Antoine busied herself in the large front room preparing dinner. She was boiling mullets over a few red coals in the huge fireplace. Edna, left alone in the little side room, loosened her clothes, removing the greater part of them. She bathed her face, her neck and arms, in the basin that stood between the windows. She took off her shoes and stockings and stretched herself in the very center of the high white bed. How luxurious it felt to rest, thus, in a strange, quaint bed, with its sweet country odor of laurel lingering about the sheets and mattress. She stretched her strong limbs that ached a little. She ran her fingers through her loosened hair for a while. She looked at her round arms as she held them straight up and rubbed them one after the other, observing closely, as if they were something she saw for the first time, the fine, firm quality and texture of her flesh. She clasped her hands easily above her head, and it was thus she fell asleep. She slept lightly at first, half awake and drassily attentive to the things about her. She could hear Madame Antoine's heavy, scraping tread as she walked back and forth on the sanded floor. Some chickens were clucking outside the windows, scratching for bits of gravel in the grass. Later she half heard the voices of Robert and Tony talking under the shed. She did not stir. Even her eyelids rested numb and heavily over her sleepy eyes. The voices went on. Tony's slow, Akkadian drawl, Robert's quick, soft, smooth French. She understood French imperfectly unless directly addressed, and the voices were only part of the other drowsy, muffled sounds lulling her senses. When Edna awoke, it was with the conviction that she had slept long and soundly. The voices were hushed under the shed. Madame Antoine's step was no longer to be heard in the enjoying room. Even the chickens had gone elsewhere to scratch and cluck. The mosquito-bar was drawn over her. The old woman had come in while she slept and let down the bar. Edna arose quietly from the bed, and looking between the curtains of the window, she saw by the slanting rays of the sun that the afternoon was far advanced. Robert was out there under the shed, reclining in the shade against the sloping keel of the overturned boat. He was reading from a book. Tony was no longer with him. She wondered what had become of the rest of the party. She peeped out at him two or three times as she stood, washing herself in the little basin between the windows. Madame Antoine had laid some coarse, clean towels upon a chair, and had placed a box of poudre d'érise within easy reach. Edna dabbed the powder upon her nose and cheeks as she looked at herself closely in the little, distorted mirror which hung on the wall above the basin. Her eyes were bright and wide awake, and her face glowed. When she had completed her toilette, she walked into the adjoining room. She was very hungry. No one was there. But there was a cloth spread upon the table that stood against the wall, and a cover was laid for one, with a crusty brown loaf and a bottle of wine beside the plate. Edna bit a piece from the brown loaf, tearing it with her strong white teeth. She poured some of the wine into the glass and drank it down. Then she went softly out of doors, and plucking an orange from the low-hanging bow of a tree, threw it at Robert, who did not know she was awake and up. An illumination broke over his whole face when he saw her, and joined her under the orange tree. How many years have I slept? she inquired. The whole island seems changed. A new race of beings must have sprung up, leaving only you and me as past relics. How many ages ago did Madame Antoine and Tony die? And when did our people from Grand Isle disappear from the earth? He familiarly adjusted a ruffle upon her shoulder. You have slept precisely one hundred years. I was left here to guard your slumbers, and for one hundred years I have been out under the shed reading a book. The only evil I couldn't prevent was to keep a broiled fowl from drying up. If it has turned to stone, still will I eat it? said Edna, moving with him into the house. But really, what has become of Monsieur Favreau and the others? Gone hours ago, when they found that you were sleeping, they thought it best not to awake you. Anyway, I wouldn't have let them. What was I here for? I wonder if Layance will be uneasy, she speculated, as she seated herself at table. Of course not. He knows you are with me. Robert replied as he busied himself among sundry pans and covered dishes, which had been left standing on the hearth. Where are Madame Antoine and her son? asked Edna. Gone to Vespers and to visit some friends, I believe. I am to take you back in Tony's boat whenever you are ready to go. He stirred the smoldering ashes till the broiled fowl began to sizzle afresh. He served her with known mean repast, dripping the coffee anew and sharing it with her. Madame Antoine had cooked little else than the mullets, but while Edna slept Robert had forged the island. He was childishly gratified to discover her appetite, and to see the relish with which she ate the food which she had procured for her. Shall we go right away? she asked, after draining her glass, and brushing together the crumbs of the crusty loaf. The sun isn't as low as it will be in two hours, he answered. The sun will be gone in two hours. Well, let it go, who cares? They waited a good while under the orange trees. Till Madame Antoine came back, panting, waddling, with a thousand apologies to explain her absence. Tony did not dare to return. He was shy, and would not willingly face any woman except his mother. It was very pleasant to stay there under the orange trees, while the sun dipped lower and lower, turning the western sky to flaming copper and gold. The shadows lengthened, and crept out like stealthy, grotesque monsters across the grass. Edna and Robert both sat upon the ground. That is, he lay upon the ground beside her, occasionally picking at the hem of her muslin gown. Madame Antoine seated her fat body, broad and squat, upon a bench beside the door. She had been talking all the afternoon, and had wound herself up to the storytelling pitch. And what stories she told them! But twice in her life she had left the Chinea Caminada, and then for the briefest span. All her years she had squatted, and waddled there upon the island, gathering legends of the Baratarians in the sea. The night came on with the moon to lighten it. Edna could hear the whispering voices of dead men, and the click of muffled gold. When she and Robert stepped into Tony's boat, with the red Latin sail, misty spirit forms were prowling in the shadows, and among the reeds. And upon the water were phantom ships, speeding to cover. The youngest boy, Etienne, had been very naughty, Madame Ratignolle said, as she delivered him into the hands of his mother. He had been unwilling to go to bed, and had made a scene, whereupon she had taken charge of him, and pacified him as well as she could. Raoul had been in bed and asleep for two hours. The youngster was in his long white nightgown, that kept tripping him up, as Madame Ratignolle led him along by the hand. With the other chubby fists he rubbed his eyes, which were heavy with sleep and ill-humour. Edna took him in her arms, and seating herself in the rocker, began to coddle and caress him, calling him all manner of tender names, soothing him to sleep. It was not more than nine o'clock. No one had yet gone to bed but the children. Leance had been very uneasy at first, Madame Ratignolle said, and had wanted to start at once for the chenere. But M. Raoul had assured him that his wife was only overcome with sleep and fatigue, that Tony would bring her safely back later in the day, and he had thus been dissuaded from crossing the bay. He had gone over declines, looking up some cottonbroker whom he wished to see, in regard to securities, exchanges, stocks, bonds, or something of the sort, Madame Ratignolle did not remember what. He said he would not remain away late. She herself was suffering from heat and oppression, she said. She carried a bottle of salts and a large fan. She would not consent to remain with Edna, for M. Ratignolle was alone, and he detested above all things to be left alone. When Etienne had fallen asleep, Edna bore him into the back room, and Robert went and lifted the mosquito-bar that she might lay the child comfortably in his bed. The quadroon had vanished. When they emerged from the cottage, Robert bowed Edna good night. Do you know we have been together the whole live-long day, Robert, since early this morning? She said at parting. All but the hundred years when you were sleeping. Good night. He pressed her hand and went away in the direction of the beach. He did not join any of the others, but walked alone toward the gulf. Edna stayed outside, awaiting her husband's return. She had no desire to sleep or to retire, nor did she feel like going over to sit with the Ratignolles or to join M. Labroun and a group whose animated voices reached her as they sat in conversation before the house. She let her mind wander back over her stay at Grand Isle, and she tried to discover wherein this summer had been different from any and every other summer of her life. She could only realize that she herself, her present self, was in some way different from the other self, that she was seeing with different eyes and making the acquaintance of new conditions in herself that colored and changed her environment she did not yet suspect. She wondered why Robert had gone away and left her. It did not occur to her to think he might have grown tired of being with her the live-long day. She was not tired, and she felt that he was not. She regretted that he had gone. It was so much more natural to have him stay when he was not absolutely required to leave her. As Edna waited for her husband, she sang low a little song that Robert had sung as they crossed the bay. It began with, ah, sea to so vice, and every verse ended with sea to so vice. Robert's voice was not pretentious. It was musical and true. The voice, the notes, the whole refrain haunted her memory. When Edna entered the dining-room one evening, a little late, as was her habit, an unusually animated conversation seemed to be going on. Several persons were talking at once, and Victor's voice was predominating, even over that of his mother. Edna had returned late from her bath, had dressed in some haste, and her face was flushed. Her head, set off by her dainty white gown, suggested a rich, rare blossom. She took her seat at table between old Monsieur Foyval and Madame Retignol. As she seated herself and was about to begin to eat her soup, which had been served when she entered the room, several persons informed her simultaneously that Robert was going to Mexico. She laid her spoon down and looked about her bewildered. He had been with her, reading to her all the morning, and had never even mentioned such a place as Mexico. She had not seen him during the afternoon. She had heard someone say he was at the house, upstairs with his mother. This she had thought nothing of, though she was surprised when he did not join her later in the afternoon when she went down to the beach. She looked across at him, where he sat beside Madame Lebrun, who presided. Edna's face was a blank picture of bewilderment, which she never thought of disguising. He lifted his eyebrows with the pretext of a smile as he returned her glance. He looked embarrassed and uneasy. When is he going, she asked of everybody in general, as if Robert were not there to answer for himself. Tonight, this very evening, did you ever, what possesses him were some of the replies she gathered, uttered simultaneously in French and English. Impossible, she exclaimed, how can a person start off from Grand Isle to Mexico at a moment's notice, as if he were going over to Cline's, or to the wharf, or down to the beach? I said all along I was going to Mexico, I've been saying so for years, cried Robert in an excited and irritable tone, with the air of a man defending himself against a swarm of stinging insects. Madame Lebrun knocked on the table with her knife-handle. Please let Robert explain why he is going, and why he is going to-night, she called out. Really, this table is getting to be more and more like Bedlam every day, with everybody talking at once. Sometimes I hope God will forgive me, but positively, sometimes I wish Victor would lose the power of speech. Victor laughed sardonically as he thanked his mother for her holy wish, of which he failed to see the benefit to anybody, except that it might afford her a more ample opportunity and license to talk herself. Monsieur Farrival thought that Victor should have been taken out in mid-ocean in his earliest youth and drowned. Victor thought there would be more logic and less disposing of old people with an established claim for making themselves universally obnoxious. Madame Lebrun grew a trifle hysterical. Robert called his brother some sharp, hard names. There is nothing much to explain, mother, he said, though he explained, nevertheless, looking chiefly at Edna, that he can only meet the gentleman whom he intended to join at Vettercruz by taking such-and-such a steamer, which left New Orleans on such a day, that Baudelaire was going out with his lugger load of vegetables that night, which gave him an opportunity of reaching the city and making his vessel in time. But when did you make up your mind to all this, demanded Monsieur Farrival. This afternoon returned Robert with a shade of annoyance. At what time this afternoon persisted the old gentleman with nagging determination, as if he were cross-questioning a criminal in a court of justice. At four o'clock this afternoon, Monsieur Farrival, Robert replied in a high voice, and with a lofty air, which reminded Edna of some gentleman on the stage. She had forced herself to eat most of her soup, and now she was picking the flaky bits of a court bouillon with her fork. The lovers were profiting by the general conversation on Mexico to speak in whispers of matters which they rightly considered were interesting to no one but themselves. The lady in black had once received a pair of prayer beads of a curious workmanship from Mexico with very special indulgence attached to them, but she had never been able to ascertain whether the indulgence extended outside the Mexican border. Father Foshell of the Cathedral had attempted to explain it, but he had not done so to her satisfaction, and she begged that Robert would interest himself and discover if possible whether she was entitled to the indulgence accompanying the remarkably curious Mexican prayer beads. Madame Ratignoll hoped that Robert would exercise extreme caution in dealing with the Mexicans, who, she considered, were a treacherous people, unscrupulous and revengeful. She trusted she did them no injustice in this condemning them as a race. She had known personally but one Mexican, who made and sold excellent tamales, and whom she would have trusted implicitly, so soft-spoken was he. One day he was arrested for stabbing his wife. She never knew whether he had been hanged or not. Victor had grown hilarious, and was attempting to tell an anecdote about a Mexican girl who served chocolate one winter in a restaurant in Daphine Street. No one would listen to him, but old Monsieur Farival, who went into convulsions over the droll story. Ed no wondered if they had all gone mad to be talking and clamoring at that rate. She herself could think of nothing to say about Mexico or the Mexicans. At what time do you leave? She asked Robert. At ten, he told her, Baudelaire wants to wait for the moon. Are you all ready to go? Quite ready. I shall only take a handbag, and shall pack my trunk in the city. He turned to answer some question put to him by his mother, and Edna, having finished her black coffee, left the table. She went directly to her room. The little cottage was close and stuffy after leaving the outer air. But she did not mind. There appeared to be a hundred different things demanding her attention indoors. She began to set the toilette stand to rights, grumbling at the negligence of the quadroon, who was in the adjoining room putting the children to bed. She gathered together stray garments that were hanging on the backs of chairs, and put each where it belonged, in closet or bureau drawer. She changed her gown for a more comfortable and commodious wrapper. She rearranged her hair, combing and brushing it with unusual energy. Then she went in and assisted the quadroon in getting the boys to bed. They were very playful and inclined to talk, to do anything but lie quiet and go to sleep. Edna sent the quadroon away to her supper, and told her she'd need not return. Then she sat and told the children a story. Instead of soothing, it excited them and added to their wakefulness. She left them in heated argument, speculating about the conclusion of the tale which their mother promised to finish the following night. The little black girl came in to say that Madame Lebrun would like to have Mrs. Pontellier go and sit with them over at the house, till Mr. Robert went away. Edna returned to answer that she was already undressed, that she did not feel quite well, but perhaps she would go over to the house later. She started to dress again, and got as far advanced as to remove her peignoir. But, changing her mind once more, she resumed the peignoir, and went outside and sat down before her door. She was overheated and irritable, and fanned herself energetically for a while. Madame Retignol came down to discover what was the matter. All that noise and confusion at the table must have upset me, replied Edna, and moreover I hate shocks and surprises. The idea of Robert starting off in such a ridiculously sudden and dramatic way, as if it were a matter of life and death, never saying a word about it all morning when he was with me. Yes, agreed Madame Retignol, I think it was showing us all, you especially, very little consideration. It wouldn't have surprised me in any of the others. Those Lebruns are all given to heroics. But I must say I should never have expected such a thing from Robert. Are you not coming down? Come on, dear, it doesn't look friendly. No, said Edna a little sullenly. I can't go to the trouble of dressing again. I don't feel like it. You needn't dress? You look all right. Fasten a belt around your waist. Just look at me. No, persisted Edna. But you go on. Madame Lebrun might be offended if we both stayed away. Madame Retignol kissed Edna good night and went away, being in truth rather desirous of joining in the general and animated conversation, which was still in progress concerning Mexico and the Mexicans. Somewhat later, Robert came up carrying his handbag. Aren't you feeling well? He asked. Oh, well enough. Are you going right away? He lit a match and looked at his watch. In twenty minutes, he said, the sudden and brief flair of the match emphasized the darkness for a while. He sat down upon a stool which the children had left out on the porch. Get a chair, said Edna. This will do, he replied. He put on his soft hat and nervously took it off again, and wiping his face with his handkerchief complained of the heat. Take the fan, said Edna, offering it to him. Oh, no, thank you. It does no good. You have to stop fanning some time, and feel all the more uncomfortable afterward. That's one of the ridiculous things which men always say. I have never known one to speak otherwise of fanning. How long will you be gone? Forever, perhaps? I don't know. It depends upon a good many things. Well, in case it shouldn't be forever, how long will it be? I don't know. This seems to me perfectly preposterous and uncalled for. I don't like it. I don't understand your motive for silence and mystery, never saying a word to me about it this morning. He remained silent, not offering to defend himself. He only said after a moment, Don't part for me in any ill humor. I never knew you to be out of patience with me before. I don't want to part in any ill humor, she said. But can't you understand? I've grown used to seeing you, to having you with me all the time, and your action seems unfriendly, even unkind. You don't even offer an excuse for it. Why, I was planning to be together, thinking of how pleasant it would be to see you in the city next winter. So was I, he blurted. Perhaps that's the— He stood up suddenly and held out his hand. Good-bye, my dear Mrs. Pontelier. Good-bye. You won't— I hope you won't completely forget me. She clung to his hand, striving to detain him. Right to me when you get there, won't you, Robert? She entreated. I will, thank you. Good-bye. How unlike Robert, the nearest acquaintance would have said something more emphatic than, I will, thank you, good-bye, to such a request. He had evidently already taken leave of the people over at the house, for he descended the steps and went to join Baudelaix, who was out there with an oar across his shoulder waiting for Robert. They walked away in the darkness. She could only hear Baudelaix's voice. Robert had apparently not even spoken a word of greeting to his companion. Edna bit her handkerchief convulsively, striving to hold back and to hide, even from herself as she would have hidden from another, the emotion which was troubling, tearing her. Her eyes were brimming with tears. For the first time she recognized the symptoms of infatuation which she had felt incipiently as a child, as a girl in her earliest teens, and later as a young woman. The recognition did not lessen the reality, the poignancy of the revelation, by any suggestion or promise of instability. The past was nothing to her, offered no lesson which she was going to heed. The future was a mystery which she never attempted to penetrate. The present alone was significant, was hers, to torture her as it was doing then, with the biting conviction that she had lost that which she had held, that she had been denied that which her impassioned, newly awakened being demanded. 16 Do you miss your friend greatly? Aspen was alraise one morning as she came creeping up behind Edna, which just left her cottage on her way to the beach. She spent so much of her time in the water, since she had acquired finally the art of swimming. 17 As there stay at Grand-Dale, drew near its close, she felt that she could not give too much time to a diversion which afforded her the only real pleasurable moments that she knew. When mademoiselle Reyes came and touched her upon the shoulder and spoke to her, the woman seemed to echo the thought which was ever in Edna's mind, or better, the feeling which constantly possesses her. 18 Rebert's going had some way taken the brightness, the color, the meaning out of everything. The conditions of her life were in no way changed, but her whole existence was stalled, like a faded garment which seems to be no longer worth wearing. She sought him everywhere, and others whom she introduced to talk about him. She went up in the mornings to Madame Lebrun's room, braving the clatter of old suing machines. She sat there and chatted at intervals as Robert had done. She gazed around the room at the pictures and photographs hanging upon the wall, and discovered in some corner an old family album, which she examined with the keenest interest appealing to Madame Lebrun for enlightenment concerning the many figures and faces which she discovered between its pages. There was a picture of Madame Lebrun with Robert as a baby, seated in her lap, a rounded-faced infant. With a fist in his mouth, the eyes alone in the baby suggested the man, and that was he also in kilts, at the age of five, wearing long curls and holding a whip in his hand. Edna laughed, and she laughed too at the portrait in his first long trousers, while another interester, taken when he left for college, looking thin, long-faced, with eyes full of fire, ambition, and great intentions. But there was no recent picture, none which existed of Robert who had gone away five days ago, leaving a void and wilderness behind him. Oh, Robert stopped having his picture taken when he had to pay for him himself. He found wiser use for his money, he says, explained Madame Lebrun. She had a letter from him written before he left New Orleans. Edna wished to see the letter, and Madame Lebrun told her to look for it either on the table or the dresser, or perhaps it was on the mantelpiece. The letter was on the bookshelf. It possessed the great interest and attraction for Edna, the envelope, its size and shape, the postmark, the handwriting. She examined every detail of the outside before opening it. There was only a few lines, setting forth that he would leave the city that afternoon, that he had packed his trunk in good shape, that he was well, and sent her his love, and begged to be affectionately remembered to all. There was no special message to Edna, except a post-script saying that if Mrs. Pontellier desired to finish the book which he had been reading to her, his mother would find it in his room among other books there on the table. Edna experienced a pang of jealousy because he had read into his mother rather than to her. Everyone seemed to take for granted that she missed him. Even her husband, when he came down the Saturday following Robert's departure, expressed regret that he had gone. How do you get on without him, Edna, he asked. Oh, it's all very dull without him, she admitted. Mr. Pontellier had seen Robert in the city, and Edna asked him a dozen questions or more. Where had they met, on Caron de la Street in the morning? They had gone in and had a drink and a cigar together. What had they talked about? Chiefly about his prospect in Mexico which Mr. Pontellier thought were promising. How did he look? How did he seem, grave or gay or how? Quite cheerful, and wholly taken up with the idea of his trip, which Mr. Pontellier found altogether natural in a young fellow about to seek fortune and adventure in a strange queer country. Edna tapped her foot impatiently and wondered why the children persisted in playing in the sun when they might be under the trees. She went down and led them out of the suns, called in the quadrunes, for not being more attentive. It did not strike her as in the least grotesque that she should be making of Robert the object of conversation and leading her husband to speak of him. The sentiment which she had entertained for Robert in no way resembled that which she felt for her husband or had ever felt or ever expected to feel. She had all her life long been accustomed to harbor thoughts and emotion which never voiced themselves. They had never taken the form of struggles. They belonged to her and were her own. And she entertained the conviction that she had a right to them, and that they concerned no one but herself. Edna at once told Madame Ratignolle that she would never sacrifice herself for her children or for anyone. Then it followed the rather heated argument. The two women did not appear to understand each other or to be talking the same language. Edna tried to appease her friend and to explain. I would give up the inessentials. I would give my money. I would give my life for my children. But I wouldn't give myself. I can't make it more clear. It's only something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me. I don't know what you would call the inessentials, or what you mean by the unessentials, said Madame Ratignolle cheerfully. But a woman who would give her life for her children could do no more than that. Your Bible tells you so. I'm sure I couldn't do more than that. Oh yes, you could laugh, Edna. She was not surprised that mademoiselle Reyes questioned the morning that lady, following her to the beach, tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she did not greatly miss her young friend. Oh, good morning, mademoiselle. Is it you? Why, of course, I miss Robert. Are you going down to Bade? Why should I go down to Bade at the end of the very season, when I haven't been in the surfall summer, replied the woman, disagreeably. I beg your pardon, offer, Edna, and some embarrassment, for she should have remembered that mademoiselle Reyes' avoidance of the water had furnished a theme for much pleasantry. Some among them thought that on the account of her false hair, or the dread of getting the violets wet, while others attributed it to the natural aversion for water sometimes believed to encompass the artistic temperament. Mademoiselle offered Edna some chocolates in a paper bag, which she took from her pocket, by way of showing that she bore no ill feeling. She generally ate chocolate for their sustaining quality. They contained much nutriment and small compass, she said. They saved her from starvation as Madame Le Brun Stable was utterly impossible, and no one save so impertinent a woman as Madame Le Brun could think of offering such food to people and require them to pay for it. She must feel very lonely without her son, said Edna, desiring to change the subject. Her favorite son, too. It must have been quite hard to let him go. Mademoiselle laughed mercilessly. Her favorite son! Oh, dear! Who could have been imposing such a tale upon you? Aline Le Brun lives for Victor, and for Victor alone. She has spoiled him into the worthless creature that he is. She worships him, and the ground he walks on. Robert is very well in a way to give up all the money he can earn to the family, and keep the barest pittance for himself. Favorite son, indeed! I miss the poor fellow myself, my dear. I'd like to see him and hear him about the place, the only Le Brun who is worth a pinch of salt. He comes to see me often in the city. I like to play with him. That Victor. Hanging would be too good for him. It's a wonder Robert hasn't beaten him to that long ago. But I thought he had great patience with his brother offered, Edna. Glad to be talking about Robert, no matter what was said. Oh, well, he trashed him well enough a year or two ago, said Mademoiselle. It was about a Spanish girl whom Victor considered that he had some sort of claim upon. He met Robert one day, talking to the girl, or walking with her, or bathing with her, or carrying her basket. I don't remember what. And he became so insulting and abusive that Robert gave him a trashing on the spot that kept him comparatively in order for a good while. It's about time he was getting another. Was her name Mariquita? Asked Edna. Mariquita, yes, that's it. Mariquita, I had forgotten. Oh, she was a sly one and a bad one, that Mariquita. Edna looked down at Mademoiselle Reyes and wondered how she could have listened to her venom so long. For some reason she felt depressed, almost unhappy. She had not intended to go into the water, but she had done her bathing suit, and left Mademoiselle alone, seated under the shade of the children's tent. The water was growing cooler as the season advanced. Edna plunged and swam about when an abandon that shrilled and invigorated her. She remained a long time in the water, half hoping that Mademoiselle Reyes would not wait for her. But Mademoiselle waited. She was very amiable during the walk back and raved much over Edna's appearance in her bathing suit. She talked about music. She hoped that Edna would go to see her in the city and wrote her a dress with the stub of a pencil and a piece of card which she found in her pocket. When do you leave, asked Edna? Next Monday, anew. The following week, answered Edna, adding, It has been a pleasant summer, hasn't it, Mademoiselle? Well, agreed Mademoiselle Reyes with a shrug. Rather pleasant, if it hadn't been for the mosquitoes and the furrowl twins. Chapter 17 The Pantellier possessed a very charming home on Esplanade Street in New Orleans. It was a large double cottage with a broad front veranda, whose round fluted columns supported the sloping roof. The houses painted in the dazzling white, the outside shutters, or jalousie, were green. In the yard, which was kept scriptlessly neat, were flowers and plants of every description with flourishes in South Louisiana. Within doors, the appointments were perfect after the conventional type. The softest carpets and rugs covered the floors. Rich and tasteful draperies hung at doors and windows. There were paintings selected with judgment and discrimination upon the walls. The cut glass, the silver, the heavy damask, which daily appeared upon the table were the envy of many women whose husband were less generous than Mr. Pantellier. Mr. Pantellier was very fond of walking about his house, examining its various appointments and details, to see that nothing was amiss. He greatly valued this possession, chiefly because they were his, and derived genuine pleasure from contemplating a painting, a statuette, a rare lace curtain, no matter what, after he'd bought it and placed it among his household goods. On Tuesday afternoons, Tuesday being Mrs. Pantellier reception day, there was a constant stream of collars, women who came in carriages or in the street cars, or walk when the air was soft and distance permitted, a light-colored muletto boy in dress coat and bearing a diminutive silver tray for reception of cars admitted them. A maid in white fluted cap offered the collars liqueur, coffee, or chocolate as they might desire. Mrs. Pantellier tyrant in a handsome reception gown remained in a drawing room the entire afternoon receiving her visitors. Men sometimes called in the evening with their wives. This has been the program which Mrs. Pantellier had religiously followed since her marriage six years before. Certain evenings during the week she and her husband attended the opera or sometimes the theater. Mr. Pantellier left his home in the mornings between nine and ten o'clock, and rarely he returned before half past six or seven in the evening, dinner being served at half past seven. He and his wife seated themselves at table one Tuesday evening, a few weeks after their return from Grand Hill. They were alone together. The boys were being put to bed. The patter of their bare escaping feet could be heard occasionally, as well as the pursuing voice of the quadrune, lifted in mild protest and in treaty. Mrs. Pantellier did not wear her usual Tuesday reception gown. She was in ordinary house dress. Mr. Pantellier was observant about those things, noticed it, as he served the soup and handed it to the boy in waiting. Tired out, Edna? Whom did you have? Many callers, he asked. He tasted his soup and began to season it with pepper, salt, vinegar. There were a good many, replied Edna, who was eating her soup with evident satisfaction. I found their cards when I got home. I was out. Out, exclaimed her husband, with something like genuine consternation in his voice, as he laid down the vinegar crouette and looked at her to his glasses. Why? What could have taken you out on Tuesday? What did you have to do? Nothing. I simply felt like going out, and I went out. Well, I hope you left some suitable excuse at her husband, somewhat appeased as he added a dash of cayenne paper to the soup. No, I left no excuse. I told Joe to say I was out. That was all. Why, my dear, I should think you'd understand by this time that people don't do such things. We've got to observe les convenances, if we ever expect to get on and keep up with the procession. If you felt that you had to leave home this afternoon, you should have left some suitable explanation for your absence. This soup is really impossible. It's strange that woman hasn't learned yet to make a decent soup. Any free lunch stand in town serves a better one. Was Mrs. Beltrop here? Bring the tray with the cards, Joe. I don't remember who was here. The boy retired and returned after a moment, bringing the tiny silver tray, which was covered with ladies' fizzling card. He handed it to Mrs. Pontellier. Give it to Mr. Pontellier, she said. So Joe offered the tray to Mr. Pontellier and removed the soup. Mr. Pontellier scanned the name of his wife-collars, reading some of them aloud, with comments as he read. The Mrs. de la Cidas. I worked a big deal in futures for their father this morning. Nice girls. It's time they were getting married. Mrs. Beltrop, I tell you what it is, Edna. You can't afford to snub Mrs. Beltrop. Well, Beltrop could buy in Salastem times over. His business is worth a good round sum to me. You'd better write her a note. Mrs. James High Camp. The less you have to do with Mrs. High Camp, the better. Madame La Force came all the way from Carleton, poor soul. Mrs. Wigs, Mrs. Eleanor Bolton, he pushed the card aside. Merci, exclaimed Edna, who'd been fuming. Why are you taking the thing so seriously and making such a fuss over it? I'm not making any fuss over it, but it's just such seeming trifles that we've got to take seriously. Such things count. The fish was scorched. Mr. Pontellier would not even touch it. Edna said she didn't mind a little scorched taste. The roast was in some way nut-tious fancy, and it did not like the matter in which the vegetables were served. It seems to me, he said, we spend money enough in this house to procure at least one meal a day which a man could eat and retain his self-respect. You used to think that the cook was a treasure, returned Edna, indifferently. Perhaps when she was first came in, but cooks are only human. They need looking after, like any other class or person that you employ. Suppose I didn't look after the clerks in my office, and just let them run things their own way. They'd soon make a nice mess of me in my business. Where are you going, asked Edna, seeing that her husband arose from table without having eaten the morsel except the taste of the highly seasoned soup. I'm going to get my dinner at the club. Good night. He went into the hall, took his hat, and stick from the stand, and left the house. She was somewhat familiar with such scenes. They had often made her very unhappy. On a few previous occasions she had been completely deprived of any desire to finish her dinner. Sometimes she had gone into the kitchen to administer a tardy rebuke to the cook. Once she went into her room and studied the cookbook during an entire evening, finally writing out a menu for the week, which left her harassed with a feeling that after all she had accomplished no good that was worth the name. But that evening Edna finished her dinner alone with forced deliberation. Her face was flushed and her eyes flamed with some inward fire that lighted them. After finishing her dinner she went to her room having instructed the boy to tell any other colors that she was indisposed. It was a large, beautiful room, rich and pisterous in the soft dim light, which the maid had turned low. She went and stood at an open window and looked out on the deep tangles of the garden below. All the mystery and witchery of the night seemed to have gathered there amid the perfumes, and the dusky and tortuous outline of flowers and foliage. She was seeking herself and finding herself in just such sweet half-darkness which met her moods. But the voices were not soothing that came to her from the darkness in the sky above and the stars. They jeered and sounded mournful notes without promise, devoid even a hope. She turned back into the room and began to walk to and fro down its whole length, without stopping, without resting. She carried in her hands a thin handkerchief which she tore into ribbons, rolled into a ball and flung from her. When she stopped and taking off her wedding ring, flung it upon the carpet. When she saw it lying there she stamped her heel upon it, striving to crush it, but her small boot heel did not make an indenture, not a mark upon the little glittering circlet. In a sweeping passion she seized a glass vase from the table and flung it upon the tiles on the earth. She wanted to destroy something. The crash and clatter were what she wanted to hear. A maid, alarmed at the din of breaking glass, entered the room to discover what was the matter. Oh, a vase fell upon the earth, said Anna. Never mind, leave it till morning. Well, you might get some of the glass on your feet, ma'am, insisted the young woman picking up bits of broken glass that were scattered upon the carpet. And here's your ring, ma'am, under the chair. Edna held out her hand and, taking the ring, slipped it upon her finger. Chapter 18 The following morning Mr. Pantelli, upon leaving for his office, asked Edna if she would not meet him in town in order to look at some new fixtures for the library. I hardly think we need new fixtures, Lyons. Don't let us get anything new. You're too extravagant. I don't believe you ever think of saving or putting by. The way to become rich is to make money, my dear Edna, not to save it, he said. He regretted that she didn't feel inclined to go with him and select new fixtures. He kissed her goodbye and told her that she was not looking well and must take care of herself. She was unusually pale and very quiet. She stood on the front veranda as he quitted the house and absently picked a few sprays of jasmine that grew upon a trelly nearby. She inhaled the odor of the blossoms and trust them in the bosom of her white morning gown. The boys were dragging along the banquet, a small express wagon which she had filled with blocks and sticks. The Quadrune was following them with little quick steps, having assumed a fictitious animation and lalacrity for the occasion. A fruit vendor was crying his wears in the street. Edna looked straight before her in a self-absorbed expression on her face. She felt no interest in anything about her. The street, the children, the fruit vendor, the flowings rowing there under her eyes, were all part and parcel of an alien world which she had suddenly become antagonistic. She went back into the house. She had thought of speaking to the cook concerning of blunders of the previous night. But Mr. Potellier saved her that disagreeable mission for which she was so poorly fitted. Mr. Potellier's arguments were usually convincing with those whom he employed. He left home feeling quite sure that he and Edna would sit down that evening, and possibly a few subsequent evenings to a dinner deserving the name. Edna spent an hour or two in looking over some of her old sketches. She could see their shortcomings and defects which were glaring in her eyes. She tried to work a little, but found that she was not in the humor. Finally she gathered together a few of the sketches, those which she considered at least discredible, and she carried them with her when a little later she dressed and left the house. She looked handsome and distinguished in her street gown. The tan of the seashore had left her face, and her forehead was smooth, white, and polished beneath her heavy yellow-brown hair. There were a few freckles on her face, and a small dark mole neared the underlip, and one on the temple half hidden in the hair. As Edna walked along the street she was thinking of Robert. She was still under the spell of her infatuation. She had tried to forget him, realizing the inutility of remembering, but the thought of him was like an obsession, ever pressing itself upon her. It was not that she dwelt upon details of their acquaintance, or recalled any special or particular way in his personality. It was his being, his existence, which dominated thought, fading sometimes as if it would melt into the midst of the forgotten, but reviving again with an intensity which felled her with an uncomprintable longing. Edna was on her way to Madame Ratignolles. Their intimacy began at Grand Hill at not decline, and they had seen each other with some frequency since their return to the city. The Ratignolles lived at no great distance from Edna's home, on the corner of a side street, where M. Ratignolles owned and conducted a drug store which enjoyed steady and prosperous trade. His father had been in the business before him, and M. Ratignolles stood well in the community and bore enviable reputation for integrity and clear-headedness. His family lived in commodus apartments over the store, having an entrance on the side within the porte-cochère. There was something which Edna thought very French, very foreign about the whole matter of living. In the large and pleasant salons, which extended across the width of the house, the Ratignolles entertained their friends once a fortnight with a soirée musicale. Sometimes they're suffied by cart-playing. There was a friend who played upon the cello. One brought his flute and another his violin, while there were some who sang, and another performed upon the piano with various degrees of taste and agility. The Ratignolles' soirée musicales were widely known, and it was considered a privilege to be invited to them. Edna found her friend engaged in assorting the clothes which had returned that morning from the laundry. She had once abandoned her occupation upon seeing Edna, who had been ushered without ceremony into her presence. See, they can do it as well as I. It's really her business, she explained to Edna, who apologized for interrupting her, as she summoned a black young woman, whom she instructed in French to be careful in checking off the list which she entered to her. She told her to notice particularly if a fine linen anchor-chief of M. Ratignolles, which was missing last week, had been returned, and to be sure to set on one side such pieces as required mending and darning. Then placing an arm around Edna's waist, she led her to the front of the house, to the salon, where it was cool and sweet with the odor of great roses that stood upon the earths and jars. M. Ratignolles looked more beautiful than ever there at home, in the negligé which left her arms almost wholly bare and exposed the rich, melting curves of her white throat. Perhaps I shall be able to paint your picture someday, said Edna with a smile, when they were seated. Then she produced the roll of sketches and started to unfold them. I believe I ought to work again. I feel as if I wanted to be doing something. What do you think of them? Do you think it worked well to take it up again and study some more? I might study for a while with Ledport. She knew that M. Ratignolles' opinion in such a matter would be next to valueless, that she herself had not alone decided but determined. But she sought the words of praise and encouragement that would help her to put heart into a venture. Your talent is immense, dear! Nonsense! protested Edna well pleased. Immense, I tell you, persisted M. Ratignolles, surveying the sketches one by one, at close range, then holding them at arm's length, narrowing her eyes and dropping her hand on one side. Surely this Bavarian peasant is worthy of framing and his basket of apples. Never have seen anything more lifelike one might almost be tempted to reach out a hand and take one. Edna could not control a feeling which bordered upon complacency at her friend's praise, even realizing, as she did, its true worth. She retained a few of the sketches and gave all the rest to M. Ratignolles, who appreciated the gift far beyond its value, and proudly exhibited the pictures to her husband when he came up from the store and a little later for his midday dinner. Mr. Ratignolles was one of those men who were called the Salt of the Earth. His cheerfulness was unbounded and it was matched by his goodness of heart, his broad charity and common sense. He and his wife spoke English with an accent which was only discernible through his un-English emphasis, and a certain carefulness and deliberation. Edna's husband spoke English with no accent whatsoever. The Ratignolles understood each other perfectly. If ever diffusion of two human beings and two one has been accomplished on this sphere, it has certainly been in their union. As Edna seated herself at table with them, she thought, better at dinner of herbs, though it didn't take her long to discover that it was no dinner of herbs but a delicious repasse, simple, choice, and in every way satisfying. M. Ratignolles was delighted to see her, though he found her looking not so well as grandile and advised a tonic. He talked a good deal about various topics, a little politics, some city news, and neighborhood gossips. He spoke with an animation and earnestness that gave an exaggerated importance to every syllable he uttered. His wife was keenly interested in everything he said, lying down her fork the better to listen, chiming in, taking the words out of his mouth. Edna felt depressed rather than suited after leaving them. The little glimpse of domestic harmony that had been just offered to her gave her no regret, no longing. It was not a condition of life which fitted her, and she could see in it, but an appalling and hopeless ennui. She was moved by a kind of commiseration for M. Ratignolles. A pity for that colorless existence which never uplifted its possessor beyond a region of blind contentment, in which no moment of anguish ever visited her soul, in which she would never have the taste of life delirium. Edna vaguely wondered what she meant by life's delirium, and had crossed her thought like some unsought, extraneous impression. CHAPTER XIX Edna could not help but think that it was very foolish, very childish to have stamped upon her wedding-ring and smashed a crystal vase upon the tiles. She was visited by no more outburst, moving her to such futile expedience. She began to do what she liked, and to feel as she liked. She completely abandoned her Tuesday at home, and did not return the visits of those who had called upon her. She made no ineffectual efforts to conduct her household in bonne ménagère, going and coming as it suited her fancy, and so far as she was able lending herself to any passing caprice. Mr. Pontellier had been a rather courteous husband so long as he met a certain tacit subnissiveness in his wife, but her new and unexpected line of conduct completely bewildered him. It shocked him. Then her absolute disregard for her duties as a wife angered him. When Mr. Pontellier became rude, Edna grew insolent. She had resolved never to take another step backward. It seems to me the utmost folly for a woman at the end of a household, and the mother of children to spend in and at tally days, which would be better employed contriving for the comfort of her family. I like painting, answered Edna. Perhaps I shall always feel like it. Then, in God's name, paint. But don't let the family go to the devil. There's Madame Ratignolle, because she keeps her pure music. She doesn't let everything else go to chaos, and she's more of a musician than you are a painter. She isn't a musician, and I'm not a painter. It isn't on account of painting that I like to go. On account of what, then? Oh, I don't know. Let me alone. You bother me. It sometimes entered Mr. Pontellier's mind to wonder if his wife were not growing a little unbalanced mentally. He could see plainly that she was not herself. That is, he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casted aside that fictitious self, which we assume like a garment, with which to appear before the world. Her husband let her alone, as she requested, and went away to his office. Edna went up to her atelier, a bright room, and the top of the house. She was working with great energy and interest, without accomplishing anything, however, which satisfied her even in the smallest degree. For a time she had the whole household enrolled in the service of art. The boys posed for her, and though they thought it amusing at first, the occupation soon lost its attractiveness when they discovered that it was not a game arranged especially for their entertainment. The quadroons sat for hours before Edna's palette. Patient as a savage, while the housemaid took charge of the children and the drawing-room went undusted. But the housemaid too served her term as model when Edna perceived that the young woman's back and shoulders were molded on classic lines, and that her hair, loosened from its confining cap, became an inspiration. While Edna worked, she sometimes sang low, the little air, ah si tu savais. It moved her with recollections. She could hear again the ripple of the water, the flapping sail. She could see the glint of the moon upon the bay, and she could feel the soft, gusty beating of the hot south wind. A subtle current of desire passed through her body and weakening her hold upon the brushes and making her eyes burn. They were days when she was very happy without knowing why. She was happy to be alive and breathing, when her whole being seemed to be one with the sunlight, the color, the odors, the luxuriant warmth of some perfect southern day. She liked them to wander alone in a strange and unfamiliar place. She discovered many a sunny sleeping corner, fashioned to dream in, and she found it good to dream and to be alone and unmolested. There were days when she was unhappy, and did not know why, when it did not seem worthwhile to be glad or sorry, to be alive or dead, when life appeared to her like a grotesque pentamonium and humanity like worms struggling blindly towards inevitable annihilation. She could not work on section A, or weave fancies to stir pulses and warmer blood. Chapter 20 It was during such a mood that Etna unted Manuel Reis. She had not forgotten the rather disagreeable impression left upon her by the last interview, but she nevertheless felt the desire to see her, above all, to listen while she played upon the piano. Quite early in the afternoon she started upon her quest for the pianist. Unfortunately she had mislaid or lost Manuel Reis' card, and looking up in her address in the city directory, she found that the woman lived on Bienville Street, some distance away. The directory which fell into her hands were a year or more old, however, and upon reaching the number indicated, Etna discovered that the house was occupied by a respectable family of mulattoes which had Chambre Garnie to left. They had been living there for six months and knew absolutely nothing of Manuel Reis. In fact, they knew nothing of any of their neighbors. Their lodgers were all people of the highest distinction there, sure, Etna. She did not linger to discuss class distinctions with Madame Poupon, but aced into a neighboring grocery store, feeling sure that Mme Moselle should have left her address with the proprietor. He knew Mme Moselle Reis a good deal better than he wanted to know her, and informed his questioner. In truth he did not want to know her at all, or anything concerning her, the most disagreeable and unpopular woman who ever lived on Bienville Street. He thanked heaven that she had left the neighborhood and was equally thankful that he did not know where she had gone. Etna's desire to see Mme Moselle Reis had increased tenfold since these unlooking for obstacles had arisen to twarth it. She was wondering who should give her the information she saw when it suddenly occurred to her that Mme Le Brun would be the most likely to do so. She knew it was useless to ask Mme Retsignol, who was on the most distant terms with the musician, and preferred to know nothing concerning her. She had once been almost as emphatic in expressing herself upon the subject as the grocery owner. Etna knew that Mme Le Brun had returned to the city for it was the middle of November, and she also knew where the Le Brun lived on Charte Street. Their home from the outside looked like a prison, with iron bars before the door and lower windows. The iron bars were a relic of an old regime and no one had ever thought of dislodging them. At the side was a high fence enclosing the garden. A gate or door opening upon the street was locked. Etna rang the bell at the side garden gate and stood upon the barquette waiting to be admitted. It was Victor who opened the gate for her. A black woman wiping her hands upon her apron was close at his heels. Before she saw them, Etna could hear them in altercation, the woman, plainly an anomaly, claiming the right to be allowed to perform her duties, one of which was to answer the bell. Victor was surprised and delighted to see Mrs. Pantelli, and he made no attempt to conceal either his astonishment or his delight. He was a dark brown, good-looking youngster of nineteen, greatly resembling his mother, but with ten times her impetuosity. Instructed the black woman to go at once and inform Madame Lebrun that Mrs. Pantelli desired to see her. The woman grumbled a refusal to do part of her duty when she had not been permitted to do it at all, and started back to her interrupted task of weeding the garden, whereupon Victor administered a rebuke in the form of a volley of abuse which, owing to its rapidity and incoherence, was all but incomprincible to Etna. Whatever it was the rebuke was convincing for the woman dropped her hoe and went mumbling into the house. Etna did not wish to enter. It was very pleasant there on the side porch, where there were chairs, a wicker lounge, and a small table. She seated herself, for she was tired from her long trap, and she began to rock gently and smooth out the folds of her silk parasol. Victor drew up his chair besides her. He had once explained that the black woman's offensive conduct was all due to imperfect training. As he was not there to take her in hand, he had only come up from the island the morning before and expected to return the next day. He stayed all winter at the island. He lived there and kept the place in order and got things ready for the summer visitors. But the man needed occasional relaxation in informed Mrs. Pantelli, and every now and again he drummed up a pretext to bring him to the city. My! But he had had a time of it in the evening before. He wouldn't want his mother to know, and he began to talk in a whisper. He was intelligent recollections. Of course he couldn't think of telling Mrs. Pantelli all about it, she being a woman and not comprehending such things. But it all began with a girl peeping and smiling at him through the shutters as he passed by. Oh! But she was a beauty! Certainly he smiled back and went up and talked to her. Mrs. Pantelli did not know him if she supposed he was one to let an opportunity like that escape him. Despite herself the youngster amused her. She must have betrayed in her looks some degree of interest or entertainment. The boy grew more daring, and Mrs. Pantelli might have found herself in a little while listening to a highly colored story but for the timely appearance of Madame Lebrun. That lady was still clad in white according to her custom of the summer. Her eyes beamed an effusive welcome. Would not Mrs. Pantelli go inside? How she partake of summer freshman? Why had she not been there before? How is that dear Mr. Pantelli? And how would do sweet children? Had Mrs. Pantelli ever known such a warm November? Victor went and reclined on the wicker lounge behind his mother's chair where commanded a view of Etna's face. He had taken her parasol from her hands while he spoke to her and now he lifted it and twirled it above him as he lay on his back. When Madame Lebrun complained that it was so dull coming back to the city that she saw so few people now that even Victor when he came up from the island for a day or two had so much to occupy him and engage in time, then it was that the youth went into corn torches on the lounge and winked slyly at Etna. She somehow felt like a comforterite in crime and tried to look severe and disapproving. There had been but two letters from Robert with little in them. They told her and Victor said it was really not worthwhile to go inside for the letters when his mother entreated him to go and search for them. You remember the contents which in truth he rattled off very gibbly when put to the test. One letter was written from Veracruz and the other from the city of Mexico. He had met Montel, which was doing everything towards his advancement, so far the financial situation was no improvement over the one he had left in New Orleans, but of course the prospect were vastly better. He wrote of the city of Mexico and the buildings, the people and their habits, the condition of life which he found there. He sent his love to the family. He enclosed a check to his mother and hoped that she would affectionately remember him to all his friends. That was about the substance of the two letters. Etna felt that if there had been a message for her she would have received it. The despondent friend of mine in which she had left home began again to overtake her and she remembered that she wished to find Manuel Zelres. Madame Le Brun knew where Manuel Zelres lived. She gave Etna the address, regretting that she would not consent to stay and spend the remainder of the afternoon and pay a visit to Manuel Zelres some other day. The afternoon was already well advanced. Victor escorted her out upon the banquet, lifted her parasol, and held it over her while he walked to the car with her. He entreated her to bear in mind that the disclosures of the afternoon were strictly confidential. She laughed and bantered him a little, remembering too late that she should have been dignified and reserved. How handsome Mrs. Pantelli looked, said Madame Le Brun to her son. Ravishing admitted, the city atmosphere has improved her. In some ways she doesn't seem like the same woman. End of chapter 16 to 20, read by Dr. Caroline Mercier for LibriVox, June 2006.