 I know that if I call up my best buddy and say, hey man, can you help me move a house? Because I need a strong man to lift a fridge. He's going to say yes, because he and I have been moving each other's fridges for a decade. Because the way that we develop, especially those friendships in the early years of high school and college, when people are thrown in and they're working together on projects, they're assisting each other. It's when people don't have a lot of cash, so people are bailing each other out. The number of times that we've lent money to each other or crashed on each other's couches or bought each other a meal when someone was broke, these things accumulate as levels of investment which leads into trust. So it's quite difficult as you get older to make new guy friends. Has anyone ever tried to take a guy on a date? It's weird. When you meet some dude and you kind of like him and you want to spend some more time with him and you're like, do I call him? Do I wait three days? How do I do this? It's kind of awkward. And as a result, most people's social circles, it's not the only reason, but most people's social circles tend to diminish after that early time when people are all social and thrown in together in university or early workforce. And over time, that calcifies into a small core group of friends, which is fine if you're living with a core group of really progressive, interesting, outgoing, insuity of open-minded people, but sucks if you're hanging around the same guys that you were hanging around in high school who are still just smoking bongs and watching TV and whinging and whining about their lives. Because yes, you do resonate more or less at the frequency of those groups that you're hanging around. And men operate best when they are in tribal group units of six detainees men who support each other who have levels of reciprocal altruism or cross connections. And then they also wither and die when they're in groups that don't support each other correctly. The three main types of groups of males that I've noticed ones where the limitations of what hold people together and it's really important that you take stock of your own personal groups that you hang around with, figure out are they a group that where the connecting pieces are your limitations. And by that, I mean whinging and whining together, wasting time together, distracting each other, abusing each other's bodies, right? These kinds of groups are very, very common. And if you're operating in that group, it's very hard to break out of it. Other ones are where there are fairly strict hierarchies, which is where there is an alpha male or someone who's kind of in charge. And then there are people who fit into subordinate roles right down to the people at the bottom who are there as comic relief or to be teased or to be taken advantage of. And these are also common groupings that you'll find with males, right? Where being part of the group means that you have to fit within a hierarchy and defer to one particular person. This is also a very unhealthy group to be a part of, unless you're the guy at the top, and the guy at the top is not going to be inspired to move any further anyway. And then there are really powerful, effective groups where there is a shifting dynamic of hierarchy and the thing that holds the group together is reciprocal trade, is an exchange of these non-financial currencies, which I'll talk about in a moment, in order for all the people in the group to benefit. I've been a leader of multiple groups now for many years. Originally, we had funk bands, then moving into various business ventures which led me into building the natural lifestyles, which is now a 13-person crew spanning with people in Singapore and Serbia and Austria, Australia and wherever it is that the coaches are bouncing around at any time. The only way that I'm able to hold this dynamic group together as a leader is understanding that the best way to get what you want is to make sure that everyone around you is getting what they want, right? And that the best way to have a group that is solid and works together is to make sure that everyone's self-esteem, bank account and happiness is rising with yours. And so the group that I hold together, although I am the boss, I'm also very willing to subordinate myself to other members of the group depending on the needs of the group. For example, one of us brings a girl home and currently myself and the coaches mostly live together so this happens a lot. In a group where there's a rigid hierarchy or where there is a mutual knocking down of each other constantly, what happens when the dude brings the girl in? There's bickering, the guys start teasing each other. They make fun of the dude who's brought the girl home. They sit in the lounge room around there while he's trying to make a move on it. All of these kinds of immature, masculine behaviors which means that if they fuck up the chances for the guy and also in the minds of the woman, she perceives going into that group as this is not a group of guys that I necessarily wanna hang around. When any one of us brings a girl into the group in my world, instantly I shift from being the boss to being the polite and slightly bumbling friend who's just gonna grab you a cup of tea if you'd like it. I'm not trying to be cool. I'm not trying to impress. I'm not trying to show that I'm alpha, anything like that. I'm immediately subordinating myself to Liam or Tony who ever came in with the girl because I know that's gonna make it easier for him to get the job done and it's gonna mean that the girl walking into this environment goes, oh yeah, this is a cool place to be. These guys are fun, they're interesting, but they're not hitting on me and they've all left us alone so we can make out on the couch. We had recently a situation where Tony brought a girl home and some guys had been working on the house and they'd taken the door off his room. So he walked in with a girl and then there's no door on his room which he wasn't expecting. In a shitty bro house, people would be like, check it out, no door, sucks to be you, we'll just be standing here watching. Instead, Liam instantly went into his room, kicked the sex toys and condoms under the bed and fluffed the sheets and turned the light down low and just went, oh Tony, that's your room, remember? And then gets the fuck out of there, all right? Meaning of course, the Tony gets laid and his job as real wingman is actually done because what does it mean to be an actual wingman? It's not the dude you stand next to in the bar waiting to approach chicks. That's like half a percent of what a real wingman is. It's the guy that has your back at every turn because you know that both of you have each other's back at every turn meaning that everybody wins over time. So how is it if you want to fast track building new social networks? Because if you're doing a stock take of yours and going, it's not so good. And the guys may be lovely people, they may be dudes that you'd like to hang around but they're not go-getters. They're not guys who are going to go out and hit on girls regularly. They're not necessarily people that have got the same passion and vision that you do. So you want to go and find new networks because it is really vitally important. Just being that laptop entrepreneur by yourself on the beach is not the end point. Having networks of men around you and not just one but having multiple ones within your own city and then starting to think nationally, globally if you can and reaching those out around the world means that eventually you can set up syndicates of these groups of guys around the world. This is what I currently do and I call it the International Couch Mafia which was developed when I first came to the 21 convention in 2011, I think it was in London. I was broke and I was staying on the couch of some friend of a fans who was way out in Whistle was a wharf, some place where you didn't want to be well out of the center of London. And so I came in, did my speech and then I met the artist formerly known as Sasha Daygame who's now going by his real name. Everyone knows who Sasha is surely, yes? I hope so, he's a very funny and lovely person. And we met after the speech and we chatted and we got on well. And this is the underlying point of the seductive economy is that there needs to be, if you want to learn how to supercharge your connections with people, it's not about this kind of surface level networking where I go and I force a smile and I hand a business card and I said, let's do a deal sometime. The underlying currency that everybody wants, that everybody really wants to trade on is being understood, listened to, having connection. It's the human emotions that are the most valuable. The reason why I am so seductive or so successful as a people person is not because I have the best game, I don't. It's because when I'm with somebody, I drop into my own space and into their space, I look them clearly in the eyes and I stay with them. And then when I ask them something, I listen. When they tell me something, I'm really present with them. I don't just say what they want to hear, I'll challenge them. And in this way, I'm having a true connection with somebody. This is again why the skill of seduction is the ultimate male skill. Anyone had the experience where they've seen someone in their workplace who is not the best at the job climb faster than everyone else? He's like over there, he's like, fuck that guy. Or was that you? Or was it some other guy? That guy, right. The people that do the best in life are not the people who are necessarily the greatest specialists at their thing. It's the people who do the job well and are really, really good people people. Yeah, they're very good human communicators. Because the reality is the boss wants to hang around with somebody probably that they like to hang around with that they understand. Like when I've hired coaches in the past, yes, it's based on seduction skill, but I've met some guys who are fucking killers with the ladies and I don't want to hang around them. They just look at me in a strange way. They're just a little bit to something, just something feels wrong and so I don't want to be around them. And then I've met other guys who are definitely very good with the ladies, good at teaching and we vibe and connect and I want to spend time with that person. So the underlying currency of the seductive exchange is true human emotions. However, in order for us to cement those relationships and speed them up, then what I can do is utilize these four actions or a combination of them to ask, to offer, to trade and to collaborate. Because as I said before, if there's no reaching out of me giving something or actually asking for something or swapping of these currencies, then it doesn't really hold men together properly. Men build their social circles based around trust, loyalty. If you're in a group of dudes and you fuck your friend's girlfriend, it's over. If you steal his cash, it's over. These are the deal breakers between groups of men typically and groups of men are suspicious of other groups of men. They either go into allyship with them or they're in competition with them and it's important that this group has a solid understanding of what the code is. And a lot of that comes to do with the only way that we can understand that this is real is to test it. That's why when I hire somebody, I give them little opportunities to fuck me over for a year. I'll give them access to small amounts of money or connections or girls and see what they do with it. Because in the past I have been fucked over by people who are very, very charming and promised the world, but over time you see where their true colors are. So if you want to step out and create new dynamic social networks, then the first thing you need to do is target.