 So I'm here with my friend Matt, Matt, Matt. Say hi, Matt. Hi. Louder so the microphone can hear you. Hi. We just got back from a spiritual experience known as the Emoji Movie, some of y'all might have heard of it. So basically, it is a literal interpretation of the Holy Bible. It is the greatest film ever made. High five, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. I was on the verge of ending my own life from a bear. I poured meat sauce over myself and I jumped in front of the bear. And I screamed, take me and started swiping at the bear. Then I got a notification on my phone. We could buy tickets to the Emoji Movie. I was a changed man. I put my heart and soul into saving up to go to this Emoji Movie. I used to be an atheist. When I went and saw that film, the swelling in my heart grew and I'm a changed man now. I want to take a second to thank Jesus and thank our Lord and Savior. God, the whole bunch for letting the Emoji Movie happen and for divinely inspiring the producers and voice actors to make this good Christian movie and help on their conquest to save the world with Christianity. I thought that the idea to bring directors Wes Anderson, David Fincher, or Steven Spielberg all to work on this one film was a brilliant choice. You can see all their influences play off each other. For example, like Steven Spielberg and that kind of thing, it was a real feel-good thing. While at the same time, David Fincher made all dark and thoughtful and spooky, Wes Anderson made it look pretty and my God, the graphics were incredible. Like, you know that Uncanny Valley, right? This movie destroyed the Uncanny Valley. Like, we don't have that anymore. Like, the Polar Express looks normal now because of how great the CGI looked in this. It, like, passively made every other animated movie look great. Let me tell you what, I really thought that it was super cool how the cast. I thought the cast of this movie was super cool. The fact that they were actually able to resurrect Robin Williams to voice literally every single character in this film was amazing. Let me tell you what, he's gonna be the first dead actor to win an Oscar. And he's gonna be there to accept it because this freaking movie brings the dead back to life. It was amazing. Now, we gotta get started on the soundtrack. So, you've seen those movies with the really, really good soundtrack. This soundtrack was so good. There's this one track that really, really, really made me convert to Christianity. The answer to why I converted to Christianity with this film lies in The Emoji Bop. The Emoji Bop! The Emoji Bop was a changing experience for me mentally and physically. I now have a cross tattooed on my chest. We got tattoos in the theater. Oh my God. Hard to talk serious. I'm trying to be so serious right now. This movie is what happens when you die. See, some people say that the Emoji movie is what you see before you die. They say your life flashes before your eyes? No, the Emoji movie flashes before your eyes. The Emoji movie is like, when you go up to heaven and God's like, hey, we gotta have you watch this briefing video before you step right in. It is the training video. They show it at angels. There's like a test for it in heaven after you're done. It's like in school when you watch like to kill a mockingbird and they have a paper that you write down like, oh, what was this person's favorite color? And then you write that down, except it's for the Emoji movie. They grade you in emojis. It's brilliant. Okay, you know how there's like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, right? Every single movie in Hollywood has been a part of the Emoji movie Cinematic Universe and we had no idea. Every single movie that came before this ever made was a prequel to the Emoji movie. Shawshank Redemption, Bite Club, freakin' Up by Disney Fixer. They were all leading up to the Emoji movie. Anything compared to the Emoji movie. It's like Ocarina of Time after every video game you play after Ocarina of Time is a slight disappointment. Every movie after the Emoji movie is a slight disappointment. Every movie before the Emoji movie was a slight disappointment. I hated every movie ever made and I didn't even realize it. So I give this movie a 100 Emoji out of 5. I say it gets a hand emoji out of a plant emoji. It's that good. It was that good. Go, bye. Bye, sick of free Emoji movie today. That was it. Thanks for watching. I won't post any more garbage like this. Thank you, Matt. You call this garbage.