 Father Knows Best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young as father. Beyond the last horizon's rim, beyond adventure's farthest quest, somewhere they rise, serene and dim, the happy, happy hills of rest. Well, rise they may, these restful hills, but there's one thing on which you can depend. They have nothing to do with Springfield or the White Frame House on Maple Street. When it comes to rest, the Andersons live in a world apart, a world in which sanity itself sometimes hangs by a slender thread, like this. Jim. Jim! What's the matter? This is the fourth and last time. Are you or are you not going to get out of bed? I don't know. What time is it? Nine o'clock. It certainly is. To tell you the truth, I don't feel so hot. Why, Jim, what is it? I feel kind of achy all over. Darling, if you'd only said something. How could I say anything? I was asleep. I'd better call Dr. Simmons. Leave Dr. Simmons alone. But if you don't feel that, I don't need him, Margaret. I'm coming down with a little cold and I don't need a doctor to tell me to stay in bed and keep warm. I'll do it myself and send him a bill. Jim, you're sure there's nothing really wrong with you? Of course I'm sure. Outside of feeling miserable, I feel fine. Oh, dear. Now what? The girls are coming over this afternoon to play bridge. Honey, just pretend I'm not even here and we'll all be happy. Well, how about some breakfast? No, I couldn't eat a thing. I just want to lie here and rest. But if you don't eat? Rest. All right, Jim, if you're going to be stubborn. I'm not being stubborn, but I'm the one who doesn't feel well. I won't be out of this room for two minutes before you'll think of something you want. I want to rest. Very well. I'll be downstairs if you need me. Yes, dear. Thank you very much. I want to rest, that's all. Not asking any special favors. I just want everybody to leave me alone. That's what I want. Margaret! Margaret! Is there any coffee? If there isn't, I can fix some. That'll be fine, honey. Just a little peace and quiet, that's all I want. Take it easy over the weekend and Monday I'll be a new man. The way I feel now, I don't even care who the new man is. Get a little rest, that's the only way to make it cold. Right here on my desk. Well, then that's where it all begins. Well, it would be if you hadn't taken it. I didn't even take it. You certainly did. But? I certainly didn't. But! Come in here, please. I had a glass retort from my chemistry set right on my desk. And if you're going to let her take anything she feels like taking. I did not take it, Daddy. I didn't even see it. Kathy. And he has no right to say I did. Kathy. Either. Kathy. Yes, Daddy? Why aren't you in school? I would have to pick Saturday. Why don't you, uh, go outside and play? It's raining. It isn't raining, it's snowing. It's raining. Kathy. It's snowing. But. Well, it's rainy snow. Look, both of you. Father. Oh, no, it isn't possible. Father, look at this ad in the hero's formal for $11.95. Betty. And now we say we're over $20. It's the biggest bargain since we bought Alaska. Not personally, Kathy. It's, uh, Betty. I'm in no condition to talk about dresses. But, Father, I'm going to a New Year's party and I don't have a sing. You can go as the New Year. Boy, would she make a head. But. Now look, all of you, I'm trying to get a little rest. So will you please try to be quiet? Don't you feel well, Father? I feel awful. Hey, wait a minute. But, Father, just told you. You've got my measuring glass. Betty, if that belongs to Buddy. It was on my desk. And what right has she got to go into my room and take stuff? You see, you said I took it and I didn't. Kathy. I paid for the chemistry set with my own money and she's got no right to touch it. But. How did I know it was yours? It's just a silly old glass. Betty. Well, if it's so silly, why don't you leave it alone? Stop it. I didn't even touch it. I said stop it. Betty, give Buddy's glass. But I'm going to wash my hair, Father. Give it to him. Jumping creepers. Oh, look, kid, when you don't feel well, your mother and I show you every consideration. We make you comfortable, read to you, your meals, and we're happy to do it. I'm not asking for anything like that. All I want you to do is leave me alone. That isn't too much, is it? Of course not, Father. Gosh, if anybody told us, we wouldn't have made a sound. I'm sure you wouldn't. Going on in here. A convention? The children were just leaving, weren't you? You bet, Dad. Come on, Kathy. Come on. Where? We're leaving. Here's your coffee, dear. Oh, thank you. Margaret, are all children that noisy? Darling, there are only two kinds of children. Noisy ones and sick ones. Just be thankful that ours are healthy. They don't have to be that healthy. I'll be downstairs if you want anything else. I was healthy when I was a kid and I didn't drive my father into a nervous breakdown. He said you were worse than any of ours. Is that so? I was one of the quietest kids in Springfield. Everybody said I... Margaret? Fine thing. Starts an argument and then walks away. Just like a woman. But I just finished telling you... Dad, if you'd like to borrow my radio, I can hook it up in here for you. Thank you, Bud. But I'll do fine without a radio. I won't be using it and I kind of am going down to the playroom to invent something. No, Bud, but... It won't take me a second, Dad. All I have to do is plug it in. Just leave it, Bud. If I want it, I'll plug it in myself. Okay, Dad. If you want anything else, just let me know. Thank you, Bud. Thank you very much. That's just what I need, a radio. I don't feel bad enough. Whistle and chirp with Lizzy Glurp. Yes, I'm resting like a yo-yo with St. Vitus Dance. Poor father. We give you pretty bad time, don't we? No, Betty. It's just that... What are you going to do? I brought the pillows in from my room. I don't want any more pillows. I don't like a lot of pillows, Betty. Please! I was perfectly all right. There. Isn't that better? Yes. It's fine. Now, just close your eyes and we'll go on a long journey. What? I'm going to read to you. Betty... I want you, Father. It's the least I can do. Betty, if you'll just... Yes, Father. Go ahead. Yes, Father. We watched her breathing through the night. Her breathing soft and low. As in her breath, the wave of life kept heaving to and fro. Our very hopes belied our fears. Our fears, our hopes belied. We thought her dying when she slept and sleeping when she died. At last... Betty... Yes, Father? What's the name of that lovely thing? The death bed by Thomas Hood. Beautiful. Can't you just see her wasting away? How much did you say those dresses were? $1,195. There's a $20 bill in my wallet. Go buy a dress. Oh, thank you, Father! And don't rush it. See if you can't take all day. And bring back the change. Yes, Father. Death bed. Bitch, you're a man of... Kathy, what on earth? Well, that's very nice, Kathy. But I told your mother... I'll carry you to that ball by myself. But I don't want any... Kathy, look out. Mommy said... Kathy, you... Oh, no. When they say breakfast in bed, they don't mean you dump it. Kathy, stop that whaling juice and cereal and coffee. Margaret! And he's done mighty little wrestling. But there have been changes. Well, one change anyway. You see, now it's Saturday afternoon. Like this. Practice some other time. You've got to do it all in one day. Which end of a piano was up anyway? I don't know why she keeps on taking lessons, except maybe to get even with the teacher. Yes, it's, uh, beautiful. Uh, Kathy... Yes, Daddy? Why don't you, uh, go somewhere? Find your brother and help him. You send him downtown. Why don't you go shopping with Mommy? She isn't going shopping. She's going to play bridge in the living room. Why don't you go next door to the Davises? You can play with Patty. We don't know what to play. Must be dozens of games you can play. Like what? Actress. You and Patty can act out stories. I used to do it all the time when I was a little boy. The Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. Hans Brinker and the silver skates. Daddy. Yes, Patty? If you want to get rid of me, why don't you say so? I want to get rid of you. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have gotten a puppy instead. That's a darn thing. Margaret, detective magazine I was reading. The one Hector Smith wanted to borrow. But I wasn't through with it. I don't even wait until you're finished with a magazine before... Margaret! You're so healthy I'll kill myself. Nothing, not a thing. Make believe you never even heard of me. Here we go again. I certainly do what? What? What do I certainly do? You look off to shame. Well, I haven't shaved today, Ellen, and I... All right, come on, let's get out of bed. What? Get out of this lie there. Ellen. And don't think I can, too. Did you ever meet George's Aunt Mildred? No, but if you... She was at this door. That's what she was. At this? If you just go downstairs with the rest of the girls... Tim, will you stop arguing with me? Now go into the bathroom and stand in the tub. Stand in the tub? What for? Oh, man, they're all alike. George keeps saying the same thing. What for? What for? And what do you tell him? I have the most wonderful cold pills. But you have to take them in warm water. Stand in the tub. Well, you certainly don't want to get water all over the floor, do you? Margaret! Margaret was speaking to you. You are? Helen. Hello, Margaret. It's nice seeing you here. Honey. Why, Jim? Not you, Helen. I was talking to Margaret. Well, I should hope so. Helen, Dorothy and Darcy are waiting. And if we're going to play... Hey, what's going on up there? We'll be right down, Dorothy. I'm not going to move, Margaret, but not a foot. Helen. This poor boy lying helpless and alone. Helen. Looking to us for comfort and sympathy. Helen. How can this... And did you say something, Jim? I just want to rest, Helen. So why don't you and... Margaret, you better come downstairs. I think Lucille's getting ready to blow a gasket. Hi, Jim. Hello, Dorothy. Helen, won't you please... What, Jim? You got a cold? No, I feel fine. As a matter of fact... Isn't he brave, Dorothy? He wants to fight it all alone. Like a mother lion having her babies in the jungle. Your bottle. Dorothy, if you'll just forget about me... I'm sure Jim will be much happier. Well, turn over, Jim. What? We'll put it right in the middle of his back. Get it good and hot. And then when he can't stand the pain for another second... Dorothy, if you'll just help me get him into the bathtub. Helen. She wants me to stand up, Margaret. That's all. You wouldn't have any camp for oil, would you? We could rub that on his neck and then wrap it with flannel. I've been getting these same pills to George for years, week after week, day after day. Dorothy, will you please go down and tell him to see you? We'll be right down there. George had four colds in one weekend, but hadn't been to these pills. I don't want any pills. Of course he doesn't. Turn over, Jim. And I don't want any camp for oil. Isn't he stubborn? Turn over, Jim. Margaret, will you please ask him to leave me alone? Helen. We're only trying to help you, Jim. Get over on the other side of the bed, Helen. We'll flip him. See, I'm awfully sorry. Lou, you remember how sick my Jimmy was last week? Why don't you leave the poor man alone? Oh, don't be ridiculous. Helen. I'm not being ridiculous. Oh, he needs a penny of hot water and lemon juice. Lemon juice? For a cold? Margaret. Girls, if you'll just... Look at this, Margaret. It says right here on the bottle. Dr. Scholl. They raised six children. And he never gave us anything but hot water and lemon juice. Well, it just happens that I was the head of the Red Cross Bandage Rapper. And if you're going back to an old-fashioned thing like hot water and lemon juice... Oh, fashion! Margaret. I've seen some of the shirts you bought for Sam. And if that's your idea of new fashion... I have that bottle right in my purse. Well, I wouldn't exactly call your husband a fashion place. If you'll just go downstairs... I'm just thrown away better clothes than your husband's wearing right now. Maybe he throws them, but he doesn't throw them far. Girl, if we're going to play bridge... Well, I wouldn't play bridge with her if my life depended on it. It's better not the way you play. Well, I'm sorry, Margaret, but I've just developed the worst habit. Well, if you're leaving on my account, you needn't bother. Girls, I'm sure we can straighten this whole thing out if you only listen to me for a minute. Helen. Isn't there someplace else you'd rather go? I don't think so. Would you have anything in mind? Good gracious, now. It's always so noisy over there. Oh, and quiet. Margaret! Jim, but I'll have to leave you. Margaret's calling me. Have you called me? I will. Goodbye, Helen. Did you call me, Jim? No, I said goodbye. Children, I'm kind to animals. I help more old ladies across the street than any ten men in Springfield. Not again. Cathy! You're with Patty Davis's. You better keep her foot off the pedal. Dress you've ever seen. Fine. Put the change on the dresser. Change on the dresser. But borrow two dollars, but he said you could take it out of his allowance. Put the change... What? Twice in one day. Last horizon's rimmed. Beyond adventure's farthest quest. Somewhere they rise, serene and dim. The happy, happy hills of rest. Been listening to Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Father. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.