 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm your host Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic What makes a man stay in love the five steps? I mean, I'm on a roll with five here There's lots of fives in all my videos So the five steps for a man to stay in love Really quickly if you're new to my youtube channel, please hit the subscribe button hit the bell So you could be notified of new content. I shoot about four videos a week for you And I'd be honored if you follow me. So thanks so much. Okay, what are these five steps man for men to stay in love? All right, I mean, this is gonna be really obvious and seem like common sense But I think it's important to actually have this in your consciousness have this in your mindset when you're actively dating So step number one. It's the most obvious is chemistry Let's face it whether a man or woman. We need to feel a connection with me another human being We need to feel that vibe. We need to feel that sense of like God This just clicks because let's face it when you're meeting people You can meet all kinds of people where you don't click with but here's the challenge with chemistry oftentimes we associate Physical attraction with chemistry and I'm here to say there's other forms of chemistry So ladies have you ever met a man where you had an emotional connection with them, but you weren't attracted with them? Hey, that's called emotional chemistry. Have you ever met a man that you had this? Intellectual connection with him. It's called sapiosexual. Have you ever felt that but weren't attracted to him? That's intellectual chemistry Have you ever met a man where he's a he's a creative type He's an artist a musician a writer something that's creative a comedian You know my friend Allison Armstrong calls this the Adam Sandler effect where you're attracted to their creativeness But you may not be attracted to them If you're feeling chemistry You're feeling chemistry and I know we're talking about men But I'm bringing this up for you for a reason because chemistry for men is tends to be more Visually driven but for women it is some other forms of chemistry But the regardless we need chemistry to feel connected with another human being okay. I said this was common sense This is obvious number two is communication You ladies say this all the time communication communication communication is the most important thing about Relationships and I agree, but here's the trick. Here's the thing. I want you to think about communication in two ways Number one. Do you talk to this person like they're my best friend? I mean we men are seeking relationships with women where we can talk to them like they're our best friend Because when you're talking like friends, you can be free. You can be honest with each other You can be vulnerable and transparent so communication is important and also for communication is good conflict resolution skills good conflict resolution skills And if you're not familiar with the book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent communication Check it out because this is gonna help you learn how to communicate better with a man And he can you can lead by example and helping the relationship Become more communicative with one another and let me give you a hint Communication isn't with your thumbs text messaging and telephone calls do not count as communication So throw out all those text messages throw out all that because it doesn't help him fall in love that form of Communication doesn't reach a man's heart. It's face-to-face communication that helps us connect with you Number three compatibility We need compatibility to fall in love with one another and Compatibility isn't like this you like sushi me, too You like up, you know stand up paddle boarding. Oh my god my favorite my favorite sport you like Do you like to Pesh mode? Oh my god my favorite band. I've seen him in concert five times actually my favorite band is Joe Jackson, and I have seen him five times, but nonetheless. That's not compatibility Compatibility is can you blend lives together? Can you blend lives together? That's how we stay in love with another human being is can we blend lives together? Okay, the fourth one is character Now when I think of character I think do we share the same values with one another because values are the most important facet of a Relationship if you don't share the same values, then it's going to be a problematic relationship Take for example someone who's on the extreme Extreme left of their politics and someone else on the extreme right actually It's probably the other way around for you if you're looking at the camera But I'm just basing on this two people that are extreme on their politics Most likely don't share the same values two people on the extremes about their Spirituality or religion probably don't share the same values It's when we are actually aligned in our values that we eventually stay in love with someone So while I'm talking about men I'm talking about women as well And this is crucially important that you choose partners and you ask really good questions Before you give your heart to a man Before you give your heart find out if you share the same values because he can't fall in love with you If the two of you don't aren't at least close. I'm not there's a big difference here versus here Okay. Oh my god. Did I see a little bit of jiggle there? Ah, anyway, all right You get the gist of where I'm going there and lastly the fifth step for a man staying in love is something called Continuity continuity. I talk about this in my private coaching those who work with me in my five week boot camp Get a full deep dive in continuity But continuity is developing the roots to a relationship and when you understand the principles the five six seven eight different roots that need to be not that need to be established to begin to build trust in the relationship because without a foundation of trust in a relationship without a foundation of continuity means regular things these are regular things continuous things that create that base foundation Needed to build a healthy happy relationship if you're not familiar with the work of Dr. John Gottman check out the book eight dates when I said the eight foundations I do a deeper dive into this in my personal work Recognizing the foundations you need, but it's so important to build that continuity that foundation Because without it, they're going to have a problematic relationship And while this isn't this the the there isn't six steps Without a doubt self-love is needed before you ever begin a journey of seeking a mate He needs to love on himself and you need to love on yourself. This is my book What the heck a self-love anyway the link below if you want to check out my book, but without self-love How can you build a relationship with someone if you're not at least beginning a journey of loving on yourself? And that's my invitation for you Ah, okay, we covered a mouthful. Those are the five steps As I said a lot of links below to check out if you want to grab my book or schedule a coaching session But you got the five steps for a man staying in love. All right I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do giving myself a big gigantic job to bear a hug of self-love I'm gonna give you a hug of love. I'm gonna ask you to give your friends hugs of love because with love Because with hugs we can love on ourselves a ton and when we love on ourselves We can attract a great relationship in our lives. Thanks so much and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye. Bye now