 Welcome to Holistic Wellness Revealed, I'm Letitia Sharp and I'm your host today as we bring on the writer and performer of an original work called You Might Think Less of Me, Jenny Fox. Welcome Jenny. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Of course. You know, I just want to start off by just getting real about something. Jenny, we haven't really talked a lot, like maybe a handful of times in the last five to ten years and I'm not even nervous about having you on the show or any questions. It's also natural to me because you're one of my dearest and closest friends from senior year in high school and the connection that we have is beyond. It goes beyond any kind of separation of distance, of words, of anything. This is a connection also that we forged, for lack of better words, during and maybe it was a forging of connections because it was during your senior year of high school, there was so much judgment and exploration and assumptions and so many things happening during that time in your life and I was relocated and you were just this beacon of kindness and openness and having gained that kind of friendship so early on, it was instrumental in my growth. So I am really grateful and very blessed to have you today. I can't believe I'm tearing up this is really special. Well, the same way Tish, you came out of nowhere and we're very nurturing to me at a time of life that I deeply, deeply benefited from that and so I can say the same way about you, especially at that phase of life that we connected for the first time. Yes, and might so many of our young females and males that are growing up in these times be able to have those kinds of connections that are lifelong over many lives, probably time, many lifetimes of connections. So sending that out there also as a prayer for all of our youth and adults if they haven't had a chance to experience such a thing. So let's move right into when I heard what you were working on, I was elated because this is a subject that's so near and dear to me because of a lot of our youth but also because of my own journey and you wrote and performed recently in May work called You Might Think Less of Me and the tagline right below that title is they judged her to pieces she fought to be whole and I just wanted to ask you a little bit can you give us a little information about your inspiration for this piece? Well I found myself you know in my late 40s feeling disjointed and disconnected physically, emotionally. I could definitely draw a thread through the reasons why my history, my journey through life, different relationships and all of that it was really visceral and I had already done a lot of really like cognitive-based work you know and counseling and just within myself about what had led me there but I had yet, there he is, there's the head, there's the head, perfect time, but I had yet to really explore on a physical level, moving that energy through and so I felt ready to do that but also scared to do that and was actually my counselor who had suggested to me that maybe explore it through performance even if I didn't actually end up putting in front of anybody so I just sort of kind of got creative like I would have when I was a little kid you know just kind of making up characters and different parts of my body and where do things live and where did I kind of internalize what message and started playing with it and then just got more and more inspired and excited and creative and just let things flow and and and didn't hit an edit button you know at that point. I love that I like what you said about you explored in your body well two things first of all you explored in your body where you were internalizing where these feelings lived that you wanted to move and that you wanted to release and what can you talk a little bit about that like what was that process like did you dance I know you do yoga also so you're comfortable with your body and moving and I'm sure that relationship is strong with yourself so what yeah what did that look like how did you find it like where did it live? Yeah well it looked a bunch of different ways rather than and that exploration kind of varied depending on what what body part I was kind of talking about so I'll be specific just to give an example so for example my belly right which shows the signs of motherhood which even before I was ever a mother you know my one of my first intimate partners when I was a young person had said to me that my body would be perfect if it weren't for this and actually grabbed a hold of my belly and this is actually a moment in in the piece that is illuminated that I used so I carried that literally from age 15 all the way through my entire life through motherhood get exacerbated by motherhood because then you know once we become mothers our bellies change and they show the warrior stripes no matter how we give birth right and so so I explored both where does that messaging come from in in the world so I did some kind of digging around like YouTube videos and and and who might you know who might stand in opposition to acceptance of the belly for example and then kind of looked at characters who out in the world in the real world and then started basing fusing my actual you know intimate partner who had said this with somebody out in the world that exists that I don't even know just based on their YouTube video and then just worked on fusing together and so then some time so in the case of my belly it wasn't necessarily like movement like yoga or or dance or like belly dancing or anything like that it was manifesting this character becoming it and then in that sense it's like an exorcism of that energy so it wasn't maybe as one might imagine like somehow like I did some massage on my belly or you know in all of these things are incredibly powerful ways of healing energy around parts of the body absolutely but but for this project in particular it it was more about like allowing almost like as if it were the exorcism of a demon right like this is what that manifests as and now I'm going to become that and so I'm both expelling that energy from my body and being the thing that's harming me at the same time and so it became creative and hopefully ultimately entertainment right because it was it's something I put in front of people but the the personal process began in in my mind I even got a bunch of books from the library on exorcism I was studying you know what that looks like in the history of it and and and you know how many people believe it's it's you know fictionalized and how many people believe it's real and so they're they're they're energetically there was a lot of energy around that like manifesting the the muck and then moving it out and through does that make sense right no that's fascinating and and the cool thing about that too is that some of the some of the training that I've received also is about how to find love with those parts of ourselves that we want to to have exercised exercised so um and once you and you did that through play right you did that through creativity like through finding that inner child and getting a real sense and a knowing so basically you did have a consult with that part of yourself and you gave them a way to be able to be out and if they do come back in you're super familiar right like you're so familiar with that part of you that now it doesn't even reside in the same way inside of you yes that is how it feels so uh it it is both what you said resonated in that it is both a an expelling of and also an embracing of right beautiful yeah I love that I love that a lot um so during this process what uh what kind of feedback did you get did you have to work through right I mean I'm sure not everybody was on board and I'm sure some people may have thought you were a little crazy how did you like how did you manage that because you were doing some really deep very vulnerable work yeah how did that well I started by being very selective who who I shared with that I was working on this and um you know my spouse and and life partner was the first to hear about it other than my counselor you know um and he was on board right away just like that sounds really interesting I cannot visualize what you're talking about but it sounds super interesting and go you know I think you should go for it um and then once I had a little bit more of of a sense although I didn't yet know what it would become just more of a sense of it I approached a director in town who I have admired for a long time Anne-Marie Perreth and she um co-runs a local theater company and I've long admired her her work and uh approached her and uh had lunch and just told her I was working on this thing and and I wasn't exactly sure yet how it was going to end up but when I had something that felt at all cohesive which be willing to be the first to put eyes on it in a in a theatrical sense and she said she would and that it sounded really interesting to her thematically even though again we weren't exactly sure what it would be so so I mean I was I was not you know sharing very broadly that I that I was working on something um you know again because it is a personal process and and you don't ever know I mean I'm fortunate and that I I really don't have people that I'm close to in my life that that wouldn't be supportive you know but but I even even among those people I you know I wasn't sort of talking broadly about it if that if that makes sense yeah and I think that brings up a really good point too because when we do have those parts of us that are vulnerable that we are working through that are sacred to us and feel tender I mean it's important it's a definite um it's a real thing people have to earn their place to be able to share certain parts of us you're not going to go into the coffee shop be like oh my gosh this is the most amazing release I just exercised this part of me and then people would be like oh my gosh like who is that woman and TMI right so and and then you wouldn't be received so I think that's also a really important message to get out to people that when you're going through these transformations and when you're going through these healings really is what it is and these revelations of healing you know be selective yeah yeah and and again not not out of shame you know it's definitely uh it it just you know it felt sacred yeah and and I guess for me as well and this this is broader than just you know my own experience with with the show is is how you know in in the age of of social media in particular you know how how how much sharing really is helpful and what is real sharing and you know um I don't you know I I think everyone has to answer that for themselves but I know I know for me um you know it's again not out of shame or like there are things that one should hide but for for me it feels more supportive to have like I'm going to sit down and have coffee with a specific friend and say hey I'm going through this thing and I want you to know that and then have that you know in person and and and doing that with one individual feels you know more supportive for me than than going larger or or quantity yeah and even checking in with yourself of who's that individual you know and have you established that kind of true authentic connection right and um and then you let the your final masterpiece I say final but it's really always a work in progress right uh then you let that speak and people can either take that or leave that and it's on them right it's just something that you created and share yeah and and I think too like the folks that gravitated towards seeing the the piece for example um it was interesting because um with the exception of those that felt obligated to go you know like people that I was really close to know them you know they're trapped into going but um for those that that came about it more randomly it was interesting just to see even on an energetic level like what who who's sort of drawn to the fire if you will right yeah particular bonfire this form their hands and um and that was that was a beautiful part of the process too was was that sharing you know so right and just see that unfolding and and just even the ahas and the moments of magic that come across people's faces and that sort of wash over their whole being you can see an energetic wash when that happens and I love I love seeing that yeah it's a beautiful thing to witness right yeah yeah so I think that one of the other things I want to touch on with you is you said the stories and um there's a lot of talk and all of the circles of healing about our stories and really um you know this this story of your 15 year old self that you were perfect except for you know and then how impressionable that is for us at certain times in our lives I was told I I couldn't sing and I definitely should not do that in front of anybody else and um just this morning I had my Japanese exchange students telling me what an amazing beautiful voice I had and I just giggle you know I'm like you only do you know yeah so I mean those stories I think can you speak a little into that because that feels really like a great message to be able to share for for me personally um the intellectual knowing that certain stories uh are are false or were false uh came before the visceral knowing and I'm still on the journey of the visceral knowing I absolutely understand intellectually and through words and language and rationally why you know certain um stories that I've told myself that we tell ourselves all of us right um like you highlighted you know uh I'd be perfect if it weren't for you know I think we can all relate pretty well to that story uh so much of it um and and I think most of us when we highlight it we can we can pretty easily identify that it's false you know well I get that it's false I get it but uh to to really feel it you know in in in one's body for me for example to to not have my my stomach go into knots you know if if in and you know maybe my intimate partner is going to caress my abdomen and to not oh they're gonna find out that there's something wrong with me right like that's visceral that's in the body that's trauma that's trauma right because it you know and this is again just one example that that that I'm sharing um but I think for me it's an ongoing process so yeah for all of us for all of us yeah of of the difference between I get it I know it I understand it I really do you know um and then to integrate that or or or even not necessarily integrate but just to maybe approach it differently and I think that's where I'm at with it is is that that for so much of my life I really believed that if I could just get it down up here you know that things would shift and um and and that has not been my personal journey you know um yeah and so many people do and I think that's a really great point too is because so many people want to understand they're trying to understand they're trying to learn they're doing the books they're doing the workshops they're doing the retreats they're doing all the things except for and what it really comes down to right is how we judge ourselves because that's what happens maybe it's something that somebody said and they may have just set it on the fly like they didn't really mean it first of all there is no such thing as perfection okay and second of all right that I mean let's just go there but second of all then we grab onto it right and we hold it and we believe it and then we start judging ourselves you know and that's I think that's where coming in with all of those stories that we talked all that self talk that we yeah yeah yeah so being able to get that self talk out into a creative expression was great I wish that I could say are you gonna do it again are you gonna do more performances oh we are gonna do more with it I we don't have anything scheduled just yet so I'm not sure when where how but we're in the process of figuring that out I would love it if we could just bring up your website um you might think less of me.org if anyone is interested in finding out more about this and I want to just touch base with in that picture if you can see people it looks like she's wearing a bathing suit that's not a bathing suit those are the parts of her that have been removed and they're on the ground beside her and this is really they're separate from her I want to make sure to give credit the credit is on that image but I want to make sure to say it out loud to the visual artist Raouf Hagigi who did that drawing and who generously gave me permission to use his image in association with the show so it's beautiful and it says so much I mean you don't yeah they're parts that were basically dissected through experiences of life that were perpetuated through our thoughts right and through our stories and our own judgments so um yeah I just I can't wait to see more of this and I can't wait to see the movement that this original work of yours um generates in adults and in young people and and men and women and everyone because we all have that healing to be able to do and I just like I said I was ecstatic when I heard that you were doing this work and making it available like it's available and it feels friendly you know it doesn't feel so scary and from what I hear it's it's funny too is it your show pretty parts that are pretty funny right it is satirical for sure um yeah there's some parts that that that folks folks laugh quite a bit so and that's enjoyable yeah so I love that definitely hope it it uh it benefits others and that people find it both entertaining and supportive so yeah well I cannot wait until you and I can sit down and have a cup of coffee and thank you talk and just connect again on that physical level without distance and at the same time I feel that deep sacred connection with you now and always actually and I and just thank you so much for this contribution to healing of the world and putting out there things on um because I saw this through your social media and even if you wouldn't have invited me personally uh that may have been my only way to be able to see it so these are the things that we do want to perpetuate and use social media for so that we can continue to spread the good word of healing and journey and um yeah support indeed well thank you so much tish thank you and I look forward to when I can give you a big hug in person yes so um yes enjoy this beautiful day and thanks again for your contribution and sharing and um I can't wait to see more of this and I really hope that you do another performance or maybe put it out in some kind of like have video clips or do something so that it can get out there bigger thank you thanks tish I appreciate it mahalo and um to all of our sponsors and our donors uh and to think tech thank you so much for giving us a platform and supporting us to be able to have these important conversations these conversations that bring light to healing and to help us reveal those parts of ourselves that may need a little extra care mahalo thank you so much for watching think tech hawaii if you like what we do please click the like and subscribe button on youtube you can also follow us on facebook instagram and linkedin check out our website think tech hawaii.com mahalo