 I was here for the relaunch. What a fucking night. You enjoyed it. My name is Greeley shout out to the sponsors basic clothing Ozzy Bob shop.com concrete jungle trading and Kamara liqueur Representing Taz mother fucking mania introduce yourself All the way from the UK introduce yourself shuffle T. Do you have insurance? Let's fucking go I'm in from the UK you react to me You're gonna enthusiastically have just fucking booed me massively I'm in from the UK. Let me tell you something That was a long protracted flight I read war and peace in latin backwards twice You don't know the shit. I went through to battle you Halfway into the flight we ran out of packaged food. I Maintain we did what we had to do when we ate that member of the cabin crew Halfway into eating his legs a woman from the back came through like I found some extra sand So fucking board of the flight I found a guitar and a man and fucking started a band It's all going well. This was part of the plan. We released three albums They were eating out the palm of the hand differences when we started to land Board of the flight soon as a fucking board of the flight Even turn around to fucking talk to a guy. I said, how you doing? He said well, I turned 40 tonight I said congrats. He said I was fucking born on this So bored Watch one of your battles Fucking Disney sing song. That was the point. I shot the pilot like filming a new sitcom Fucking rip that fucking plane out of the sky like I'm King Kong. I don't know if I said it yet right by the flight was a bit long The miracle I got through customs Fucking miracle that happened. I said what brings you to Australia. I said killing it with wrapping So how long do you plan your stay I said till I'm finished snapping Under occupation I wrote I was a lyrical assassin I thought they might find it funny if they're a fan of my work. They thought they'd carry out a cavity search I'm a crap now it hurts. I'm finally here Wasting a full 90 seconds with D now probably feels to you kind of like I'm wrenching your teeth out Talking about how long it took to fly collect and bring me down because I couldn't think of enough shit for you to try and stretch It to three rounds I might talk about you being kind of old though Oh No, you're so old though you put the old in old Why call the old what I call the olden days you call the golden age Honestly man You're actually double my age I mean obviously you're not but after 40 you cares. It's exactly fucking the same I Won't say you're old enough to be my dad that's changing the facts But you are old enough to be a mate of my dad's You could go round to a dinner date at their pad and I'd be like yeah, that's fine nothing strange about that You met a gypsy woman who was gonna read his fate on his span She was like this line can help us tell the age of a man She read it and then she was kind of taking her back. It just says you're fucking old cunt on the base of his hand I'm gonna leave it there because you're beady glare and evil stares making me really scared Old into old Can't you get decked in the pelvis like pull your bloody head in cock and show some Respect your elders like I might put the old in old But who cares your bloody weird method? plans battle teams like 60, so I still got a couple years left yet So here is the pretty boy of battle rap versus shuffle tea Do the real pretty boy of battle rap Bro in your fucking dreams Why don't you have another geese? Can I'm such an utter beast that wants to leave the stage tonight the females will flood to meet him Sluts will be a hundred deep just begging for my company So when you go home alone to your hotel and beat your fucking mate, that'll be the only time tonight that you'll be touching Dean It is bit more style you see even cock head When I walked into the venue you could tell that he was astonished just to see the body of such a sleek adonis Look at more than an Indonesian province got my blue steel a tigra pop and I'd be completely honest If I ever needed dollars I could have been a model But I didn't want to take the easy option. I thought bitches throw them box at me like they kick me out the house because I cheated on them Shuffle cheese a grommet No, I don't need to wear a franger with the horse you have sex with Because his dress sense alone is a form of protection And I only call in a question all the investments because with the wardrobe you're dressed in I'm sort of suspecting that you have a more than extensive I'm sorry I mean I tend to get a bit carried away with stuff It's hard, you know once I start talking about how I'm an insanely buff Tasmanian stuff with a facial structure ladies love I almost forgot to say to you huh? Welcome to Australia You've probably heard a couple stories about our nation bruv Yeah, because I'm a foreigner I'm not a foreigner You've probably heard a couple stories about our nation bruv Yeah, because the whole heap of gnarly shits and no one can guarantee your safety cuts I guess you laugh in the face of danger, huh? Well, it's almost like you've tried to put yourself in a worst possible situation But it's between the bipolar melbourne weather and the cancer cause and rays of sun the array of rough and shady pubs The roaming packs of crazy drunks the racist munted wasted thugs sharks and spiders faking snakes and buds Plus now you're face to face with dunce. I was pretty safe to say a fuck So when they told me I got shuffle tea Man, I could not help but chuckle You traveled halfway around the globe just to put yourself in a world of trouble I could clip him in his chin just to watch his fucking helmet buckle see his feet slide out from under him Now you really came to melbourne shuffle I know I know I'll tell all of my opponents I'll punch him Honestly, honestly, I'm trying to make a change and take a stand lad. I gotta set an example I'm a father now Maybe one day I'll be a granddad. Yeah So as a testament to me stopping all this talk of violence in my damn wraps Just this afternoon. I went out and got myself a new hand-tap And if you think I only punched him in the arm because I can just to put it over the cunt Well, then you can't understand. It's that circle game shit. And that's all part of the plan I've got this motherfucking round in the palm of my hand Just dead in my wing Let the guy win. He's fucking terrifying Do you not get so fucking tired of being rigid and tensed up? Sticking your chest into your vest in a defense puff You got a tattoo for each of the women you've death punched. It's like you're You got a tattoo for each of the women you've death punched. It's like your steroids are on steroids. It's pretty intense stuff Of course you get reaction in odds It's a piece of pie like a pizza slice people tried to warn me before I took this battle to seek advice They said it's not that the oddity scene has died. It just seemed like it needs some life So i'm sure that's not true. Who's your best battle? Well, they're probably done dear. I said jesus christ The scene has died It's about that shit in the uk the audience wouldn't sound so wild Godun's 10 years behind we grew out those styles. We wouldn't even save your battle to the download file You would spit your best round and the crowd goes mild But that's not the only reason i'm glad that i'm from england Ah, sorry, that's not the right That's all the only reason i'm glad that i'm from england Because english people aren't constantly threatened by wildlife. That's gonna kill them Saying Do you win? I don't cry with my bloody eyes and sorrow. I'm just satisfied. We'll be in the least likely to fucking die tomorrow I thought you'd go out drinking with the boys on a late night. You're rowdy as fuck Your voices are raised high you put your foot down on the field because the soil's a safe site and then boom right there Poisonous snake bite Well, you're just in your house You expect that you're safe you've checked and surveyed and inspected the place There's no sign of any fucking venomous snakes then oh no spider bite dead in a day I'm from the uk Die from a spider or a huge snake. I'm more likely to die from a toothache Drowning tea or something. I'll suffocate inside of my duvet It's like fucking cane toads Well, i'm from toad to a joke. You kick a toad in the arse We'll go over and laugh at our fucking hopeless. They are slap a toad in its stupid face They cause nobody harm here. They fucking kill your dogs by eroding their heart It's fucking real shit Crocodile and tarantulas that's making me sick Dinosaurs and giant spiders. Are you taking the piss? For the first 20 years of my life, I thought they were a myth and now i'm literally in the fucking place they exist So basically mic and i'll say this to chris you'd have to pay me a quid for taking the win. Just save me from shit I'm constantly paranoid of the cane toads the ticks the snails the sticks the snakes and the fish all the australian shit It's a dangerous mix just take me to his safe in the crib and maybe i'll live And i haven't insulted you much this round Just been stupidity done You're probably thinking if you diss me then you've instantly won I assure you all of this is just a cute englishman stunt and though i haven't said it enough yet I do think you're a cunt You were classically trained in theatrical place I don't care if you got a high distinction in speech and drama back in the day I don't care if your talent was naturally made for the cabaret game and you get a standing ovation when you do hamlet on stage Because i guess you're chameleon a battle wrapping away How you can drastically change your true colors through a gammon of shades like one minute You're dropping gun bars and a gangster display next minute saying you love the cock like you have to be gay So i'm surprised that when you rocked up to this battle today that you didn't blacken your face and bring an Aboriginal flag to the stage And as the fallout on twitter grows and briggs will go attacking his fate with some rational debate shovel casually save him for lack It's okay. It's not actually racist. I'm just getting in the character, right? Come round here coming round here, mate Fuck the l grey t you sipping cups and the warm beer that you're drinking pubs Stop being a whinge and bloody prick for once and shut the fuck up about the cricket, bro Because if there's two things in this world that absolutely shit me shuff it's people are intolerant of other people's cultures And bloody english cunts So when i heard that england left the eu and what the brits had just started And the repercussions of the briggs that i want to did to these bastards And a fact that means that a lot more pommies will be living in hardship Oh, if i can crack open a vb and piss me self laughing Up until then the Aussie dollar fared pretty poorly to the pound You'll add one of the world's strongest currencies and all of you were proud To the brexit fuck that up the bank froze all of your accounts and your economy and all its glory started falling to the ground But see when i heard that shit, mate I was walking on a cloud like all my all my christmases had come at once It was as awesome as it sounds because now when i go to england in december I'll be bowling up in stout and i don't mean i don't mean bowling bottles of french champagne So i can pour a couple out just means if i go to a pub in london and i order me a stout I don't have to put a second mortgage on my house just to afford the fricking round I don't hate all english cunts That's that's too broad of a statement I just find that brexit shit fucking hilarious before you go calling me racist Now you can't drop the eu and they all call it a failure Well, we just dropped the eu started calling it straight up If tazzy ever got told to fuck off our victorian neighbors, we've been brought loads of inbred bogans to your shores and invaders So the next time shuffle flies in a melbourne airport He'll be sure to embrace it when he sees a big sign that says welcome to far northern tazmania UK still nearly as liveable You won't be allowed there Nothing to do with brexit. You're just clearly a criminal It was winter in australia So i started packing some sweaters A coat made out of italian leather and an umbrella to make sure i wasn't caught out by the lack of good weather Then i remembered i'm from fucking england Turns out i'm not the most practical dresser i've been sweating like roll paris standing together with an under 13 year old family It's sweating like stevo and in a deep water animal center The battle done d it is The battle done d A man who makes iggy azalea look like a national treasure Guns felt d with a capital letter because what you 38 or something you've been rapping forever You've been going for like 20 years and you haven't got better What do you think life begins at 40 applies to your rapping endeavors? Do you think your career is just gonna suddenly fucking magic together? 50 isn't the age of amptops average member So you're not gonna be able to handle the pressure and you can mark my words like a language professor I'm like a lion and fucking jesus got sandwiched together You're like a shit rapper and an even shitter rapper got mashed in a blender We're about to see him collapse in the center I'll be like watching michael j fox practicing jenga You'll get slammed in the cellar Strangled dismembered stabbed in the chest and shackled in fetters I came to australia to give these people a clash to remember and this average contender doesn't match my agenda Can I remember the next bit? Can I remember? Yes, I can I can I remember I'd let you off with a warning like a traffic inspector But you've got a head I want to take off and I'm an avid collector I'd let you go back to your crackling embers unless you try to bite the hand that feeds you like Hannibal Lecter And by the way done D least original name for an Aussie battler ever You definitely need to get better to me the letters of D because getting a D is the cleverest he could ever achieve Beggars believe so unintelligent he finds picture books too high a level to read His wife comes home and sees him watching sesame street, but it's not for his daughter She's in bed and asleep He's just trying to get to grips with his alphabet in the week and keep on getting fucking stuck at LMNOP I'll keep going but you're angry in your hentia than me The fuck it that was pretty much over So tomorrow afternoon Me and you go get a barbecue Hang out with a fucking kasko goon I'll buy you a fucking lager too without you even me asking to Sort of fucking I thought fosters was popular out here and everyone drinks it but you hardly do I'll come back to fucking Australia in a couple years go to Taz and then Darwin too and we can cuddle up like koalas do I'll let you blow my dijari do Something something kangaroo Boomerang backwards is gnar remove It's crystal clear. Let's disappear. Go drink a beer and argue over who has the shittest beard Fucking lucky you weren't mean about my wife and daughter Or you can get punched in the jaw And it ain't even me you gotta worry about Me fucking mother-in-law She got a sixth sense She'll just know if you're talking any kind of shit about her girls, brah and appear on this stage You had a thin air and fucking put you up on world star If you didn't know shuffle And he's a passionate guy He tries to bring battling into nearly every facet he finds He'll he'll just walk up in the street to the first round of me spies like round one on shuffle team Say what you will about shuffle Need a battle and talk. I mean Next to him I don't even really know what battle is like What's like, bro? You do a battle a day and a fucking battle a night every conversation you have is a battle of minds Codex, I need to pay an airline when you travel to sky. Shit. You just rocked up at the service desk and battled for flights Plus Plus you literally You literally went to a wedding when they were getting married and tried to fucking battle to groom and then battle to bride Oh, shit. I remember my wedding day One of my happiest times But if some fuckwit rocked up on that spectacular night and tried to battle me right they took some jabs at my wife I'd fucking pull out a blade like can't battle a knife until he Until he lying on a gurney trying to battle for life Fucking ruin my wedding cunt So I guess we both take battle and pretty serious The homie you in a different zone So you'll get tatted up with my family's names and fallen soldiers in incochos Well, you get tatted up with slow it down's dizzies jokes clips as quotes and got a back piece a whole lot of don half naked in a suspicious pose He he probably answers with talk to him anytime someone calls this dickheads phone You got Don DeMarco's to your message stand and for your ring and tone I'm the type to rub one out to a big titted hose that's getting boned You to type the rub one out to a fucking video of chiller jones You identify as barsexual Identify as barsexual That's what that faggotry is called cunt trying to pass it off as just a passion when in reality it's more But see my greatest wish in life Is the one that I'll be having for my daughter To for any dream she ever had her daddy can support her or your greatest wish in life ain't for your loved ones or your family at all Bruv your greatest wish in life is that they make lyrical into a category on pornhub You bloody wordplay finger and map it If you saw me watching the man is bk battle making some spastic faces It's because I think their rap's amazing if you saw him watching that battle making some spastic faces It was premature ejaculation And that's how I know this lags the flame up because he masturbates to rap for vega So I'm just giving you this battle as a massive favor and you can chuck him in the wank bank for later So I'm real glad you made the trek to this event and you hear shuff That's saying you'll beat me you say like saying we both have exceptional beards bruv I'm the fucking best up in here some respect and a fit done So respect where respect is due Big time I'm trying to take it back away that it used to be I did it for the love now. I hate to see trifle it So I asked what was saying saying think maybe you're my passing down the same day as him Or maybe that Hennessy got the best of me Fucked up that Hennessy got the best of me punch drunk that Hennessy got the best of me Shit, maybe I oughta let it be Whoa How much your time is over why ain't got no time for talking fucker skype a limit I'm high off a life and I'm in orbit Man, I'm a rock the damn planet like I'm Dr. Manhattan and I'm chopping plan matter while in Rotterdam Wrapping up a proper grand mashing in your shoddy bandwagon when I stop and ransack it Booking shows in the Buckingham Palace all my kicks are mega man like a bust a hand cannon ball and hot