 Thank you so much for being part of us this morning. It's 3rd of August 2020. Trust you've been well and if you just tuned in, this is why in the morning Y254 TV is the station you're watching. Now we want to talk about the family support. You know COVID-19 has come up with many lessons. Actually before we started coming on air, we were talking about that certain group of people will be addressing them and how they are faring on during this pandemic and of course the ramifications of COVID-19 has affected everyone. We are working on an economic title because we do not have money and the little we have, we have to share it with our family members and them that are working actually wakonam zigo kubwaso. How are we supporting our families? We want to look especially to the young mums. These are the people who we could say they have been affected so much with COVID-19. I'm speaking to Paskelin Jeri. She is the founder and executive director of Karmind Foundation. Good morning. Good morning Hilary. How are you? I'm fine thank you. Now you know let me actually start by asking how has COVID-19 impacted on you? COVID-19 I would say has impacted majority of us directly or indirectly and I would say personally I am the founder like you mentioned of Karmind Foundation. So there is work that we were doing before COVID-19 happened and of course most of our work entails going to the community to work together with the community to help the community the mums in the communities. Now COVID-19 is here and we can no longer go on the ground because again remember we have to keep social distancing and so we are not able to go and reach out to those mums. It becomes very difficult to start telling a mum in a slum area for instance to go and hold because we are holding a social media engagement to come on board so that we are able to help them from there. It's not possible. So that will mean us trying to figure out other ways to reach out to those mums to be able to still support them but it has not been easy because nobody like we didn't have a warning that this would happen so we were really not prepared for this. So everything has happened all the plans we had for 2020 we have to go back to the drawing board and think so what are we going to use what measures are we going to put in place to ensure that we are still able to work in this new way of doing things. So yes it has affected us in that way and of course it has also affected me personally because there is definitely fear you know let's talk about the fear that everybody is you know it's affecting everybody the fact that the numbers are increasing the fact that you've seen people affected you've seen people passing on from this virus it has become more real to us and of course there is that fear and we are in Nairobi the hotspot of the virus so everyone you meet everybody you're just worried there is also their symptomatic people so anybody could be a candidate for that virus because there is no any symptoms they talk to everybody who carries a symptom with them so you're just afraid there's just fear everywhere true well that has been the case of majority if not all but now not that we interact with the young mums want to say maji by the way because COVID-19 may affect what we need the young mums want to say maji both single and even with the family yeah the young mums have been affected in a big big way and I'll tell you some of them let's start with the job losses that have been happening so you are employed now companies that of course are downsizing maybe you are working as a debug somewhere in a household we have seen those young mums all over the estates sitting down trying to hope and hoping that they will get someone who will come and pick them and give them a job for the day so they can get something for their children back at home but unfortunately because of the virus you're afraid of picking such a mum you know so they will stay there but chances are slim that they will get a job so this is the job loss this is the fact that they are not able to and are living anymore from the jobs that they used to do and of course there's also the lack of support we have the mums who are now new mums and they became mums during the pandemic so we have been told you need to keep your distances the social distance aspect so the family the way we used to have neighbors come in and support the new mum we used to have our family and friends come in and support the new mums now they're not able to get that because they also have to be safe so that means that this mum whatever challenges she faces during this season as a new mum she has to be it alone so it becomes very difficult to be able to you know cope it is not easy it is not easy to cope with the new mother hudjani anymore so and then again we also talk about the even the pregnant mums so right now one of the biggest challenges is you know we have the kafu from 9pm you're not supposed to be outside going into labour does not give you a warning when it will come so if it comes past 9pm this mum doesn't have a car this mum doesn't have a neighbor who has a car they cannot call a cab they cannot call a motorcycle or a motorbike i mean so what is this mum supposed to do so we have seen areas where mums have been giving birth at home alone or maybe calling in midwives who are maybe close by so that is again endangering their lives so there has been a lot of issues that are affecting the young women and some of them we don't even know how exactly you can come on but i'm sure when we come together and and we think of ways to to support these new mums then it's possible but they have a lot of issues that are affecting them at the moment you've mentioned of kafion it has reminded me of another person who was wagging he lives in the slums and actually i had not seen these above the mums it has just reminded him of a simple thing the call of nature you know a place like madari okibra we don't have the the luxury of having the toilet in your house you have to move so it has gotten them to a point whereby they are not taking care of the environment any longer because now it's at night and it's a call of nature what you do they're possible thing so they are not taking your care of the environment because they can't go out otherwise watakta na polisi na watafungwa now trying to explain where you are out again it's embarrassing so you end up to do what you can but now i want us to shift gear to something now very heavy one would ask as we're speaking about our family support what is a family what encompasses a family what do i expect from my family yeah family i would say we're used to the setup of a nuclear family but i would say family is anybody who is around you because remember i might have people who are a nuclear family but they are not close to me at that point of need so the people who will come on board as your family are the people who are closest to you at that point where you now need support so that is what i would define family as and in different ways of course right now because of the the pandemic there is different situations that call for that kind of support and i would even say one of them is the people who have been contracted the disease for instance one of the biggest fear of contracting this disease is what we have seen on media we have seen how people are picked by people who have PPs and the ambulance what we are talking about you know it's already traumatizing that everybody is afraid of you you go get isolated and then the only people you get to see is not your family it is not the people closest to it is people who have dressed from head to toe covered you cannot even tell who this person is i have seen in some places they have started putting a picture here so they hang a picture of them so that you are able to know who is serving you or who is in the room with you yeah but it's it's it's definitely going to affect you mentally for any person it's definitely going to affect you mentally so even if you're able to reach out with your phone talk to family and friends there's something that being together physically does to you that being isolated like that will not do to you and then the fear of what will happen will lie die from this this is or will lie survive is that constant fear because the moment today you are not coughing tomorrow you wake up and you're coughing you're thinking your symptoms are getting worse for sure and you're waiting for temperatures to rise now exactly you're already thinking of the worst you know so yeah so there is that constant fear so and then again now in terms of family the results who have been told they can be isolated in their homes so then of course now the people who are going to be their caregivers at that point is their families and the other ones who are actually even getting trained on how to take care of these people so again the family is also feeling there is the fear of also contracting the disease because as much as it's my family member who has contracted their disease me being being there serving them doing one two three things means that i'm also exposed to the virus in one way or the other it's possible for me to get so it becomes again a very confused place to be yeah you want to help your person you want to help this person but again you're also afraid of this virus you're not sure how best to do it make sure that you're 100 percent sure you'll not contract the virus yeah so family of course will come in handy at that point but it also affects them mentally as well and that's why it's very important that even as you take care of the people who are contracting the virus then we also make sure that the family and the caregivers are also taken care of because it also affects them indirectly exactly now we may have moved with time where now our women are no longer housewives but COVID-19 has come badly it has hit some family where we are now seeing change of God the man we used to provide or even the woman was at a point provided the family but now one of them has been affected we could say someone has been injured they are now limping how do we move forward how do we accept the situation someone who was used to be the breadwinner they are no longer nobody are making they have lost their jobs or maybe something they were doing it has stopped like see the project some some people were abroad they came back they cannot continue so how now do we live on this it is a difficult place to be and Hillary the numbers of people who are have been affected like that are so many we have seen hotels releasing their people we have seen hospitals giving people unpaid leaves compulsory we have seen so many people affected these are the people we are talking about the people who are now in their homes and they now do not have jobs anymore and they did not probably have a business or if they did have a business maybe the business also not doing very well because everybody has been affected including the small businesses not talking about even the startups the startups just wondering most of them might not even manage to get through this pandemic so so many people have been affected and it's true that it could be the husband it could be the woman it could be that it was even a single parent and now they do not have a job and they were the breadwinners in that family they have children who are looking up to them so it is a difficult time to be a difficult place to be but what I would say is that this is how the situation is but you don't have to let it consume you don't have to allow it to be it is a reality but you don't have to say that you're going to be stuck there because now you do not have a job remember that the bills are still there the children still need to feed so you have to get yourself up and think of what is your other option we are you going to start thinking of the smallest of businesses including you know like you know sometimes you think big I'm thinking should I start a business and I'm thinking it's a big business who is going to buy for me sometimes he narrates those smallest things that you think are not going to help they're actually coming handy I have seen so many people now who are using their cars to put fruits there and go and sell in random places in town in estates and they're making money those are probably some of the people who are affected so they just sat down and decided this is the reality I now do not have a job but the bills are still there I still need to feed my family so what do I do I will go buy fruits I'll put them in my car I'll move them place them in a certain place and go and sell and get my something small and my children will not sleep hungry so I think it's about being positive I made everything that is happening that we do not allow ourselves to be desperate and allow ourselves to completely be consumed by what is happening right now and that is why we're having so many the cases of mental illnesses are increasing because people are depressed they're getting depressed people are getting anxiety disorders people are attempting suicide or even taking their own lives eventually because they are frustrated they can't see how they will get out of this they can't see a better ending to this so what I would say is that this is the time that that positivity is called for the most like just get yourself together and tell yourself that this is a reality it has happened there's nothing for me to you know I'll cry I can cry all day I can choose to cry all week but that will not pay the bills at the end of the week so let me get myself together and think of option 2 so what is my next option what do I need to do to get myself and it doesn't have to be big something or job you can start with very smallest of things including selling chaples outside there and getting something to take back home in the at the end of the day yeah all right now you have mentioned of something these are the depression of course it's because of a stress you used to do this now you can't do and maybe your partner is not understanding we have had cases of agenda best of violence in the recent days it has increased because people are home you you speaking to me I hear how do I tell someone is about to snap and how do I react how now do I solve these problems how do I prevent myself going to the next stage no gender best violence what happens is that it does not just you just don't wake up one day and someone kills you they don't just wake up and kill you day one there is words you know it is day one you probably get a slap day two you know something else happen and then the person apologizes and then you continue living with them then day three something else happened by the time they are getting to killing you this is how it starts now of course this time everybody is under pressure so it could be that the husband is also under pressure because he doesn't know how a job and then so something small will trigger him to get over the roof because now he already has internal things as is that is dealing with you know so what I would say is that some of these cases are not new cases it could also be that this woman already was suffering from gender violence from violence even before the pandemic it has only gotten worse for others it could be that this has started now maybe the pressures we can give whatever excuse we want to give but there's no excuse that we can actually give for getting violent you know because it's someone's life you're putting at risk is someone that you might just end up killing so really it does not nothing can justify that kind of an action but what I would say is that the moment the violence starts Hillary the moment you see he has slapped me today he has kicked me today that is the point where you make the decision to move because it is coming it is coming you have already seen the red flags you know the unfortunate bit is that most of the people whom those are the women who end up killed they did not you know they saw the red flags and may probably even talk to about them to their friends or whoever it was and they told me no my husband nowadays beats me yesterday he came drunk I think it was because he was drunk now he today morning at least he was sober he talked to me and he apologized that we are okay but he beat you yesterday the other day he will come he'll probably use something else the other time he will take a knife and stab you and kill you you don't have to eat until it gets there if you are feeling like you do not know where to get help because sometimes it also comes from that the families are not supportive you go back to your parents and they tell you no please that is not how marriages work you can come back home you need to be there with your husband go and sort out your issues and then you're taken back to that marriage you know and nothing has changed so the husband will continue beating you because you've been taken back so there is what you call the recovery centers there will be women's hospital has that the gender based violence recovery centers you can go and report your case there you can start your recovery there they will guide you whether you need to report what the processes that you need to take to to be safe because again remember some of these people are very violent you can go and report and then you're coming back you've reported me you can just come back and then again other women they are wondering so once I report and they leave the house where am I going to have children some of them are not privileged to have families where they can run to or they can go back to so starting from the gender based violence recovery centers would be a good starting point for them to advise you on what you need to do and where you can seek help and where you can seek safety just to make sure that you're safe before you're able to pick yourself again and be you know able to survive after after after what happened true we've also had cases they have been reported of mothers who have killed their children because of this now here is a single mum Covid-19 has come okay could be the worst pandemic because it's globally but now this mum has a problem she doesn't know how to feed the babies or maybe do something for them the babies don't understand this Covid-19 mum doesn't have money but now the mum has gone over things are not okay how can how can one prevent themselves from getting to the worst point it is possible to prevent yourself from getting to that point and I just want to even give an example of the Naivasha woman there's a mother who killed her four children she was in the news a few weeks ago she took her four children one after the other and killed them she was definitely not okay you would not sit like that and start saying this mum she's so heartless she's so everything that would want to name her she just did not wake up one day and they said she wants to butcher all her children definitely she was struggling some probably someone noticed she was struggling but thought that she was asking for she was just taking attention or something uh this is a point she talked about I think the husband so maybe they had issues and you know nobody really cared about the issues or to try and help her get better so there is all those kind of and of course like you say during the pandemic it can only get worse so this is a woman who was already probably struggling with putting food on the table then now pandemic has hit let me give an example of those mums who were de-bags are now in Kileleshwa estates, Levington estates, sit outside their gates hoping that someone will come and give them a job so they come there sit down day one there is no job day two no job day three no job a whole week two weeks there is no job the kids are still there at home waiting for you mum to come back home with food how to start explaining to them that you don't have any food to give to them they are hungry of course you can see they are hungry you do not probably have relatives so you can see let me call so and so to help me you don't have people who can come in and support you it can be very frustrating very very frustrating and so it is at that point where these mums need support more than ever especially from the I would say like the community sometimes we talk about the civil society organizations we talk about the government we talk about everybody else to come in and think of how they can support such mums or such people but at the end of the day I think even us as neighbors you know there's probably one two three people that you know that might be affected like that if you're able would you want to help this person and how can you help this person just think of how you can help this this mum whether it's by giving them maybe a job one day a week somewhere you know whether it's connecting them with places where they can get that kind of employment or is this just skills give them skills which they can use and get them something maybe they are used to this kind of job because they don't have this kind of skills give them empower them with their skills and help them to you know be able to fend for themselves with the skills that you empower them with and then for the mums of course it has started this is how things are going you don't have to like I said before you don't have to beat yourself too hard and say that this is the end of the world and now I'm not getting this job I'm not getting money think of this always something else that you can do Hilary there is always if you do not choose if you are not too choosing you know we don't have to think about I have to get this and what people will say and what people will say what will my family think what will people think they were used to saying me wearing suits and going to the office so now I am here you know yeah trying to make ends meet selling chapattis or selling whatever it is I'm selling so what will they think my dear if you think about what people will think they will not come and feed you and your family yeah they will not come and feed you and your family so then of the day you have to think about what is best for you and what is best for your family that is what counts at the end of the day that is what is most important and that is where sometimes we lose it because sometimes when people even end up killing themselves it's because they are wondering like you said what will people think if I tell people that now I do not have a job what will people think you're not even telling people you're afraid of telling people that you don't have a job yet these people you may just tell them and then they help you you know speaking out is and I think it's just a pride some some sort of pride that we have in us that you just feel like I am at such a level I do not want people to know that now I'm no longer there I am here now you want to maintain the standard you want to maintain the standard now speaking of the parents and how to care for their children now do you think it's a point it has come to a point where now parents should sit down with your children maybe at age seven one would understand actually we have a generation that knows hey you should be responsible and you hear someone telling the parent you should be responsible so they know my mom should provide food but now is it a point where are we at a point where now we should sit down our children and tell them by the way it can get to a point where I cannot have money and we have to survive should we do that we should do that you know it depends with how old your baby is because of course if they are very young they'll not understand what you're telling them but if you're worried that they are noticing the difference then it's probable that they are already at that age where they understand what is happening sometimes we actually put so much pressure and make our children get stressed because we are not willing to involve them in those conversations like even during this pandemic see children now are in the house because you don't want to allow them to go out there why are we not telling them what this corona is and what the pandemic is and why they cannot go outside if we do tell them then it means that they will understand why things have had to change in the same case I now do not have a job because of the pandemic sit down with your children or whoever is old enough to understand it is in an age appropriate way you know like words and ways that they can understand why you can't have baby every day exactly exactly because probably they are used to that kind of life where every Sunday we normally go to wherever every saturday we normally go to wherever but right now even for people who are still have their jobs there are things that have had to be changed because you're still worried how long with this last so you have to also do a lot of saving as it is so you still have to talk to your children and tell them things have had to change because of one two three things so daddy now or mommy now does not have a job because corona came and things have changed because one two three things have happened make them understand in a way that a child can understand why it has to be different so that then you also you're also helping yourself from the demands that will come because if they were always used to when they ask for a car maybe you get them you know the toy cars or whatever kind of toys you you know you're always very fast to provide for them then today now they don't understand why when they ask for it it is not coming as as fast as so you're also helping yourself from them having so high expectations those kind of high expectations from you they now know that i need to be careful what i'm asking for because mam doesn't have so much money anymore but you're also helping them understand that this is just for some time god willing things will get better and will be fine again so let us survive this season let us do what we can to survive this season it is very very important for us to have those conversations very very and on that note let me also talk about the involvement of parents and their kids during this pandemic remember now the schools are closed so children are largely in those households and we have been seeing so many things that are happening as a result of this we have seen the high teenage pregnancies that has become such a big issue now very very young ladies very very young girls are now pregnant of course now it means that it's so much pressure on them because now you're a young mam there's the societal pressure the other your peers are there wondering you know of course putting pressure on you negatively they now do not know whether they go back to school in January or not you know so there's so much pressure on them but even for you as a parent now you have a teen who is now a mam and you don't even know how you're going to even start taking care of your own daughter and their daughter you know this is not what you hoped for and this is not what you are hoping things will look like and then you have also been seeing very high many of the crimes the crime rate has gone up and of course because of the fact that people have lost their jobs but some of these crimes are actually getting committed by children who are still in high school we saw the case of a boy in Kisi who was almost getting banned because he had stolen somewhere and when he was asked he actually said no mi am actually a school boy so now they have so much time they don't know what to do with this time anymore so what is happening they go outside there they get themselves with their own company and then these things that happen you realize that your kid has not become a thief you didn't even know you thought really your kid has gone where then later that's when you're hearing your kid has been banned or whatever has happened to your kid because they were thieves so I think it is time for us as parents to be very very actively involved in the lives of our children because now they have a lot of time with us and as much as it's true that we are also busy because even if you're working from home you're also trying very much to work hard so that you're able to provide for them but even as we work hard to provide for them let us also be very careful and intentional about knowing where what is happening to our children where are they who are they with as in being involved in their lives of course you're not going to completely say now you're going to hold them you know but also be very actively involved so that then we can reduce number of these things that are happening now speaking of parenting and what has happened the recent past you've heard of the teenage pregnancies and now the case you're mentioning of a crime now should we go back to the older days of parenting where the child belonged to the community if I meet you in the wrong I punish you it would be a good way of doing it I'm just wondering whether it's practical though because nowadays we don't even know each other to start with Hillary you know we live in a Kitambo it used to be that we were in communities where people knew each other when you even go to a certain bus station and say I want to go to Suju whoever's place they will take you there they knew each other we knew each other so even when I'm punishing or I'm punishing this child already know I'm punishing totu anani and I'll go and tell the parents by the way I met with so and so and this is what they were doing and they punished them for that so you already know each other it's a community nowadays you don't even know your next door neighbor you don't know each other you just normally say hi hi if something happens in their house you won't even know because you don't talk you don't know each other we lost our values should we go back we need it is not easy the society needs to change we've we've lost something very important in the society because I remember when I was growing up someone would correct me yes and oni kifika and then I don't know truly you could even see small boys fighting or doing something fishy and I think we need to go back there it was the best place to be how we can go back there I don't know I think we need to go back there now things have changed I want to address this group of young partners in the house the how do I do I support my partner because things have changed even the gods have changed how do I support them you know we won't have our feelings we won't have our information and how I react to issues indifferent from how the other person will but now understanding there's a there's a pandemic that is affecting everyone whether you strong or weak how do we support each other knowing asirazangus inakwanga up to this point but for the sake of this coronavirus I'm going to tone it down kidogo how do we get to that point very very important let me tell you Hilary right now there are so many things that have to change because like we say it now yes these partners are spending so much time together even in the households right because they're probably working from the house or they have lost their jobs so they in the house so you are together so the more you are together the higher the chances of conflict so you're going to see one thing that you never used to notice before and then it passes you and you just like do I really want to you just want to deal with it as it is immediately but this is the time like you said first also realize that people have different things that are affecting them in their heads as in like you may just see someone there but there's so many things that are that they are thinking about and there's so much negative emotions that they have that any small thing that they probably would manage to handle very well initially and now not able to handle so like you said it is really really important for us to just be very careful about how we deal with our partners you have to go down this is not the time to decide we are going to argue about that while it's up and where it's supposed to be down and all that those small issues that we can forget about please forget about you really don't have to add those kind of stresses to already person who is already having their own struggles internally of how to survive you know yeah so for this that you know in marriage and in partnership there is a lot of compromise compromise that has to go in place you have to do a lot of compromising you would definitely there's one two three things that you're going to notice and you would rather they be in a different way but because you want peace in that house if you really really think and prioritize your partnership or your marriage that much then there are things that would be like it's okay let me compromise that for the sake of peace for the sake of this marriage for the sake of of course it depends with what you're also compromising but yeah like we said if it's in terms of those things that you know we are just conflict we are going to it would definitely we know if I say this he's definitely going to be mad so right now he can only get even worse do we really want to go that route because you already know what will happen so yeah just compromise for the sake of peace in that house I'm laughing because I recently heard of a story that our partners argue for as let me quote and quote silly things as they could be that will not add you value to their marriage is like katimbona ita nia red and they will argue things will not be the same again but anyway those are partnership now let's um address these people who have been saying to Mesa or Lika I'm speaking about um I don't like calling them slay queens but the people who had their lives uh it is believed now are ladies on herona so it's so happened uh and now the sponsor has moved to the main chick oh me baki numbahuna rent and maybe you pregnant or maybe you had a three months one year baby but themze is no longer there how do we help this girl now coming back to the you know those are the people who will help you because at the end of the day manome takurumiya but now how now how now do I accept my situation and now come back and say like yeah I know I made a mistake recovery an interesting one but let me tell you I would start by saying in everything that we do the choices that we make we always know that there are consequences for actions if you choose a certain way of living you are ready for the consequences whenever they come whatever even if they take 10 years we take five years they take whatever number you you know that this one this could also be an ending this could also happen um so like you said I remember seeing this conversation when corona started when they were having these memes on social media platforms saying that now finally men have been taken back home where they belong so now they like your calling them the slay queens or the the pangua kandos how we sometimes refer to them they have now been left alone so they are now to figure out their lives some of them probably even had children with these people so I know there are probably some who probably are still getting support even if not physically being present but maybe they are still getting supported in whichever way others of course they're not getting that support completely so now it's you and your children if you had children to figure out how you're going to continue surviving so of course they have been impacted but again like I said I think it's also consequences they they they should have because even if pandemic did not happen paper change it could be that today I am telling you that you're going tomorrow you'll be my second wife and then tomorrow we wake up and I'm telling you I don't want anything to do with you anymore and I don't even want to do anything with that child you know so when you're going to that man who you knew had a family this is one of the things that could come up yeah and now the pandemic has come and so many of it has become like it has like the numbers have increased in terms of the number of Mpanguakandos who are now being left yeah so I don't know how to say we can help them I think that is just a matter of helping yourself if you are Mpanguakando figuring out how you're going to continue living and earning now a living alone because some of I know some of them also do not I'm not saying everybody but I know some of them also are wholly dependent on that person so they were maintaining everything about you your house your everything and now you have to go back and uh kupandandu di nol kumazaya wuwa it is a difficult one but now life humbles you now pandemic has humbled you so you've come back to reality and now you have to live where you truly you were you know like yeah but those are just consequences so you figure out how you're going to continue living after that whether you're going to continue with your child or you want maintenance for your child from the father yeah so now those are decisions that you sit down and start making knowing that this is what happened and truly truly he was not yours he belonged to someone else you knew that from the wadgo maybe so it's called consequences of the actions and the choices that we made now how in dotu nambia was tanguwe kazi if you have something you can do other than finding another person you let these women will come for you no I'm trying to help them I'm sure we're trying to help you uh open your minds uh it's not just about that man or this man it's about what is in your mind what can you do because even going to them you used your mind you can still use your mind to do something else yeah exactly now final words as you speak to these ladies actually ladies na apenda tumulivyo yeah so um for your final words and um as we finish on this particular topic okay so final words I think I want to speak very much to the moms because that's the area where I mostly those are the people I work with mostly and um when I want to talk to of course the new moms you know the the the moms who um are currently um having to they currently have children and they were used to the support where it is physical support so you are used to people coming and helping you or it was an expectation and that is what we always used to tell the moms please get people to come and support you please ask for help tell people when you need that help tell people you know when you need that kind of help now unfortunately it is not possible for them to get that so I would request you if you're a new mom kindly kindly um reach out and still get that support it's just that it will be different form in that in the sense that it will be on call so if you feel like you're getting overwhelmed if you feel like you're getting overwhelmed emotionally things are not working as you'd want them to kindly reach out to your friends reach out to your family reach out to any person who you think can can can mean handy and support you um and and just for advice because talking is just they might not be there to help with that child at night because of course physical distance but again they could help you with one two three tips that might come in handy for you to be able to cope with the season so please please um as much as possible seek that help um and then um just know that you are not alone and and and if you can are able to still get into online support groups um places that you can get that kind of support even if you're not getting the physical support I think it will come in handy for you during this season yeah so that's what I would want to say and let's be very supportive of each other and just remember that the people who are very prone right now to getting um mentally ill during this season is mostly the new mums of course and of course also the people who have had cases of mental illnesses before this time because of the anxiety because of the things that are happening they become even more prone to getting that they are symptoms becoming more uh severe so it is very important for us to also have those kind of people in mind for us to give them as much support as they need and of course the people who are also directly impacted by the virus let us give them as much support as we can um yeah any way you can support please do support them they really really need it at this point yeah actually I'm seeing something that maybe we we overlooked there are so many issues that we could talk about when it comes to family support and the stresses the people are going through we have a comment here it's in line with the teenage pregnancies uh this is Faiz Jones from Twitter he says have a look at the baringo girls they are trading sex for sanitary towels they say that at least when schools were opened they got assistance he has a school reopening on january what action can we make gender based violence is here depression is here next step what will it be I've had these cases of uh gas trading uh for sanitary towels actually what's the next step the next step is supporting this kind of people because Hilary you know these children there is an almost now trading their bodies with sanitary towels is because they were used to getting them from the schools they used to receive these ones every other time from the school they they were schooling in but now they do not have access to them because the parents who would be able to buy who who should buy for them do not have even food to feed them so sanitary towels sound like uh like it's really not a primary need at the moment but for them of course they need them and there's this man out here who has promised them that they can give them if only they are able to give them their bodies i'll buy for you sanitary pads and next month again if you need it again i'll buy for you but you have to give me one two three things so i have seen many civil society organizations coming together and supporting them i have also seen politicians coming and and and just donating sanitary towels to these girls okay i believe that this if we can do it in a bigger way because again remember this something that comes every month so if it's just one organization i mean how much can they support and how many girls do you even have in kenya not you know yeah and it's until january so there has to be like strategies so if civil society organizations and the government can sit down together and decide in this area these ones who are going to take charge of these girls and make sure that they have sanitary towels in this area do one two three like everybody we have because we have very many civil society organizations especially in the area of menstrual hygiene i have seen so many organizations that deal with that so if they want to come together and decide that they want to support this initiative it is very possible for them to make that impact and again if you're talking until the dire need is until january then it's possible for them to do it for those months and support those girls wholly until january when they're able to resume school and probably continue hoping uh continue getting the sanitary towels from their schools all right uh true to your words because of uh these particular ladies but pola nisana uh COVID-19 is the punishment the teacher to many i have i have been told to deliver that message punishment teacher learn something from it then we'll be late thank you so much for coming can i also say something one last time i know but one last thing like you said i think corona the pandemic has also taught us so many things and i think one of the things i know there's so many negative things that we've talked about but there's also the positive aspect that we have now come to appreciate our families more one because you spend so much time with our children we now understand them and we have come to have that close connection and bond with them it has also taught us that we can actually work from our homes and still deliver we have always seen parents who are always like i can't be with my family because i need to travel so every other time they're traveling they are here they are here now they have been forced to work from their homes and apparently it is possible so we have been taught so many things so many things that we have learned that are positive and i hope that we can carry these ones on even after the pandemic is over yeah actually maybe we have a sitting we see how positive COVID-19 has been to us thank you so much back home for keeping us company thank you so much for being part of us Pascal Injiri has been my guest she's the founder of Kalman Foundation my name is Dereva Hillary have yourself a very good day we'll be seeing you later in the day or maybe in the evening within news stay tuned enjoy the rest of our programming good morning